All Characters portrayed in this fic belong to their owners. No infringement is intended.

A convening of the Jedi Council is a rare event, rare enough to draw quite a crowd of on-lookers whom the Jedi allow to observe the proceedings as long as no classified information was to be exchanged.

Today, the august assemblage of Jedi Masters gazed down on the lone figure on the dais. At first glance the woman would be classified as rather attractive by most humanoid species and her petite frame lent to the illusion of fragility. Dressed in a red shirt and dark pants of an archaic style, the red-head had her hair done in a pig-tail which made some folk mistake her for some simple girl from a backwater world. Any who cared to look deeper noticed the aura of supreme confidence that this girl wore like a cloak. Her movements were lithe and graceful as if she were a superbly trained dancer .... or martial artist.

A Mon Calamarian addressed the girl on the dais. "Jedi Master Ranko Saotome, despite your independent streak, the Council has long recognized your worth as a trainer for Jedi, especially those whose training have proved to be rather ..... problematic. A promising young Jedi was orphaned when her master was slain after he mistook a rancor for his pet Chihuahua under the influence of glitterstim. The council wishes you to take on this Jedi as your apprentice."

Ranko began making dismissive gestures, "You people usually only want me to train all of the nutcases. Remember that guy tainted thoroughly by the Dark Side?"

"We assure you that Exar Kun was simply a miscalculation."

"Uh huh, how about that disguised Sith Demon whose agenda was to devour an unsuspecting Jedi Master?"

"We assure you that we had absolutely no inkling of that student's infernal origins."

"And what about that guy who decided to wear a purple dinosaur suit and rot children's brains through television?"

"Barney will be.... dealt with. "

"Or that guy who declared himself the Lord of Fear and terrorized people through their dreams?"

"Freddy Kruger was simply an anomaly."

By this time the spectators were sweat-dropping big time.

Exasperated, Ranko rolled her eyes and said, "I know that there are many on the Council who dislike the idea of an independent Jedi Master. Tell me truthfully, are you all trying to make sure I croak trying to 'train' these students?"

The Mon Calamarian Jedi Master was sweating bullets (9mm caliber). "We have no idea what you are talking about."

"Look I may have focused my training on the warrior aspect by I am still a Jedi Master. You can uncross the fingers behind your back now."

Shame-facedly the Mon Calamarian did so.

"Alright, since my grandfather helped found the Order, I will train that Jedi you were talking about. But if this is another deathtrap, I'll show you why its not a good idea to piss off a student of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu. Now where's my new apprentice?"

"Here Master!" squealed a teenaged girl as she tripped over her own feet in her haste to impress her new master, dumping herself unceremoniously onto the floor. Scrambling to her feet she blurted out, "Usagi Tsuniko desu. Hajimeshite." Usagi bowed quickly to Ranko, inadvertently whipping the ends of her braids into Ranko's face.

"You want me to train HER to be a Jedi?" Ranko asked the Council in an incredulous tone.

"It is the will of the Council."

Ranko sighed. "Alright, come along Usagi." Ranko brusquely turned her back on the Jedi Council and left the chamber by a pair of swinging doors. After walking a few steps, Ranko realized that her erstwhile apprentice was not with her. Turning around, Ranko found that Usagi had became one with the double doors when she rammed into them on the close swing. Ranko muttered to herself, "This is going to be a loooong apprenticeship."

Day 1 Ranko easily levitated a pebble from her palm by using the Force and instructed Usagi to do the same. Instead of levitating the pebble, Usagi got it backwards and the pebble pinned her hand to the ground. "Master help! Er Master? Why are you banging your head against a tree? Master?" Ranko was too busy reciting 'easy is not the way of the Jedi' to herself in order to answer.

Day 2 Deciding that telekinesis might be a little too tough for her student; Ranko tried something a little simpler. "Usagi try to feel the Force around you. Life creates the Force and it permeates the universe around you. Usagi wake up! Never mind. Usagi try to see if you can touch the Force. Attempt to establish a rapport with the life that surrounds you." Usagi scrunched up her face into a comical caricature of concentration. "Master I feel something, some sort of connection. Ahhhhhhh!" Usagi screamed as a horde of bees began to chase her around the meadow that Ranko had selected for the day's exercise. Ranko was too busy looking for the nearest convenient blunt object to ram her head into to heed Usagi's panicked cries for help.

Day 3 Ranko elected for sword practice in order to loosen up Usagi's reluctance to touch the Force after that bee incident. Usagi peered disdainfully at her shinai. "Master, when do I get to practice with a real lightsaber?" "When you can do at least one kata without tripping over your feet." Usagi pouted, "I do not trip over my own feeeeeeet!" Usagi tripped over one of the braids of her hair, winding up flat on the floor. By now chanting the paradigm, "easy is not the way of the Jedi" internally like a mantra had become second nature for Ranko.

Day 814 "Master look! I've mastered Force Leap!" Usagi leapt up a good fifteen metres onto the platform that Ranko had set up for her own Force Leap practice. Usagi took one look down and clung desperately at the platform. "Master help me get down from here! Master I'm scared! Master!" Ranko was chugging down a bottle of industrial strength Prozac she was saving for a special occasion.

Day 2859 Usagi triumphantly held up a metallic cylinder in her hand. "Yes! I have finally constructed my own lightsaber!" She flicked on her hot pink blade, nearly spearing Ranko's head in the process. Eyeing her apprentice's work with a critical stance, Ranko noticed something that was definitely not part of a regulation lightsaber. "Usagi, why is your lightsaber's blade shaped like a heart?" "Its so kawaii that way Master! Don't you think so?" Ranko told herself that she was going to get the Council for this.

Day 3578 "Master look! I've learnt that boomerang lightsaber trick of yours!" Ranko immediately hit the dirt as Usagi's out of control lightsaber cut through the air where her head would have been a moment earlier. Ranko promised herself that she was REALLY going to get the Council for this.

After several mishaps, 4892 days and numerous applications of Jedi healing techniques to both Master and Apprentice, Usagi finally became a credible Jedi and was conferred the rank of Jedi Knight by the Council. Of course in Usagi's case, credible meant that she didn't accidentally decapitate herself when using the lightsaber and that she could levitate a credit chip with the Force without sending it into orbit.

Once more, Ranko stood before the Jedi Council with her Apprentice beside her.

"The Council is pleased with your success Jedi Master Saotome. In light of this ample demonstration of your talents, the Council is assigning a further four novices into your care."

"WHAT!"

"Do not worry Jedi Master Saotome, each of your students show quite a thorough knowledge of the Force but have certain personality quirks that need to be ironed out."

At this time deep cracks were forming on the pillar that Ranko was using as a convenient place to bash her head against. Usagi, after witnessing her Master doing this on numerous occasions, decided that this was a unique idiosyncrasy of her Master.