that I’d have to let go and watch you fly
I know you’re coming back so why am I dying inside? ~

It had been 5 years…Gene never thought he it would be over that soon… Even now 5 years later, he couldn’t stand the place he stood now. He couldn’t bare reliving the times over endlessly in his mind.
" So why do you go there all the time, if you hate it?" Gene remembered the female android asking… He still didn’t know if she fully understood what had happened, he didn’t know that anyone did maybe Jim, but even he didn’t know the WHOLE story. He didn’t care though, he found it easier that way.

~ Are you searching for words that you can’t find, trying to hide your emotions, eyes don’t lie~

( I still go to our spot for him, Melfina, I go to remember him) - A single tear as the calm wind blew around him

~ Cause there’s no easy way to say goodbye ~

The sun hung low in the sky, casting him in a vibrant orange glow, a gentle breeze rustled his bright red hair that burned in the orange brilliance…
" It was a beautiful evening , just like this one… That was the last time we were together like that…"

~ I’ll be standing at the edge of the Earth
Hoping that someday you’ll come back again
I’ll be standing at the edge of the Earth
Hoping for someday, Someday ~

They sat there, meeting for "business" purposes, or at least that’s what Gene had said over the phone to him.

" You’re not here to talk about business at all are you Starwind…?" The man said sitting down on the ground with his arms wrapped around his knees.
" Now what makes you say that ?" The outlaw said slightly chuckling as he joined the taller man in sitting down on the grassy outstretched cliff.

" Well, one, it’s too beautiful here, two it’s far away from people, …" He look Gene in the eyes with a daring smile and a wink, " And three, I just know you too well Gene Starwind.." Gene’s quick, quiet laughter made Fred smile.

" Okay, you got me down to a ‘T’. But, are you complaining about "Our spot" Mr. Lowe?" Fred giggled at the formality.
" Me? Complain over something this nice?? Never Mr. Starwind." Gene smirked, letting Fred pull him into his arms. Gene rested his head on Fred’s shoulder as he returned the gesture by wrapping his arms around Fred’s waist. Gene let out a small sigh feeling Fred’s sweet warmth surround him. Fred laid his head on Gene’s in another sigh, sensing Gene’s heart beat growing stronger with the love between them.
It seemed like hours had gone by, Gene had moved down now, his head in Fred’s lap. Not a word was said amongst them as they watched the blazing sun die in the sky. Gene interrupted the silence with a whispered plea as he still hugged Fred’s waist tightly.
" Tell me this’ll never end Fred… tell me we’ll live like this forever." He looked up at Fred, watched his silky skin shine gold, his eyes were warm as he looked down into Gene’s large glittering eyes.
" What’s wrong Gene?" Fred stroked his lovers hair softly
" I was thinking… you know as well I as I do we both have dangerous trades. What if someday, they just, catch up to one of us? I’ve never been afraid to do a job before." Fred felt this sense of sadness come over him, knowing what Gene meant. Not quite knowing what to say to comfort his companion.
" I mean what if I died tomorrow? What would you do Fred??" Fred leaned in closely into Gene’s ear, thinking of something to say.
"Gene, I’ve loved you for a lot longer than you can even imagine. I’ve had the same fears. But, here we both still are… I’ve learned to trust in you." Gene smiled warmly, " And even if that did happen Gene, I’d be happy knowing that at least for a little while, you loved me." Fred placed a single velvety kiss on Gene’s cheek. Backing his head away gently Fred distinguished a solitary bead catching the fading sunlight against Gene’s flushed skin. Reaching down he caught the bead and watched it cover his finger, Gene was… Crying?

Fred pulled Gene upright and laid Gene’s head on his shoulder. Fred ran his hands over Gene’s back. Another silence persisted, The sun had now dipped below the horizon leaving the sky with pink and purple accents, the first stars had started glittering through the darkening atmosphere.
" I’ve never felt this way… about anyone…" Gene whispered admittedly between heavy breaths.

" I don’t think… I was… ever really… alive before now… I can’t bare to lose that now Fred… I know what it is not to be alone anymore…" Fred felt tears of his own begin to well at the words Gene said so full of love. Words that he’d only dreamed of for years. Fred held him strongly. Gene gave a weak laugh
" I never thought I’d say that… much less be in the arms of another man crying and saying it, and I sure as hell never thought that man would be you." Fred giggled happily
" Weird how things happen huh Starwind?" Fred wiped away a silent tear.
Gene sat up looking Fred in the eyes as he placed his arms around Fred’s neck.
" Weird maybe… or maybe it’s fate?" Gene gave his grin that Fred loved so much.
" Perhaps fate… or maybe it’s something more than you or I know put together." Fred leaned in closer to Gene as he said it. Playing Gene’s game
" Or maybe it’s just two very screwed up people trying to survive in a seemingly loveless world." Gene also leaned into Fred. By now their whispering was barely audible.
" Or maybe those two people are the only two that remember how to love…" Fred’s breath was sweet and warm against Gene’s silken lips, With that their skin touched, lightly at first, just barely grazing their tender lips together. A sweet indulging kiss mixed with tears acting as bitter tones. Gene bent into the kiss more while running his hands through Fred’s satin smooth hair.

~ Don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say
I don’t want to let you leave this way
I want you to know that I’ll stand
Right by your side ~

Gene broke their kiss slightly, breathing deeply he muttered
" I swear I’ll protect us both Fred… I won’t let this end…" Another even more bitter sweet kiss as new tears flowed freely… Gene just barely making out the words "I know" lost in there flaring passion.

~ I know this may be
The very last time that we see each other cry
What ever happens know that I’ll…

Back to where Gene stood alone on the same grassy cliff, he raised his head to the sky meaning to cry out to the heavens, but instead he collapsed onto one knee and sobbed with his head rested against his knee, he shook violently with the heavy sobbing…

( I still can’t believe I let you go)

~ I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
hoping that one day you’ll come back again
I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping that someday you’ll come back to me
I’ll be praying for whatever it’s worth
Believing that one day you’ll come back again
I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping for someday ~

Darkness shrouded the area, the only light was the colorless moon cascading it’s clear lumination onto everything, creating even darker shadows in a already black night.
Gene stood there with not much else than his trade mark black sleeveless shirt, a pair of shorts, and his olive green cape hanging off his shoulders, His caster gun and a pistol hung from his belt. His chest rose in strenuous gulps of air that had been used in running there.
(Why meet at our spot on a cold night like tonight?)
"GENE!?" The hoarse murmur startled Gene as he swung around to see Fred standing there breathing just as heavy as Gene, and dressed just as poorly… not like Fred at all… Fred held his arms panting.
"What’s wrong?? Why’d you drag me out here in the middle of the friggin’ night?"
"Gene… there after me!… some assassin attacked me and said he was going to KILL ME tonight!! I ran as fast as I could to the nearest pay phone to call you!" Fred was shaking, desperately trying to stay calm.
" Who’s after you?? Do you know who sent them??" Gene moved closer to Fred quickly removing his cape and placing it around Fred’s shoulders.
" Probably Kai pirates… Hell I don’t know!…" Gene hugged Fred lightly, when Fred didn’t move Gene looked down at his arms
" What’s wrong Fred? They didn’t get you did they!?!?" an urgency swelled in Gene’s voice
"They got a good nick on me… but I’ll… be okay." He said taking a step back. Gene stepped closer
" Move your arms Fred, let me see…" When Fred was reluctant to move Gene placed his hands on Fred’s arms and slowly pried them away. Fred gave a slight pained whine, underneath his bloody arm was a heavy gash from his stomach to his side.
" Oh God Fred!, I’d call that a little more than a nick!" Gene said slightly panicked.

" It’s okay… really Starwind!" Fred said crossing his arms over the wound again, Gene gave a low growl in his throat
" I’ll KILL em Fred! By God I’ll kill every last damned one of em!"
A metallic echo pierced the night. Fred gasped darting next to Gene
" What’s going on Gene!?!?… … … Gene!?" Fred looked over at Gene who just stood there. Slowly he placed his hand on his right shoulder then looked at it. A dark glittering pool collected in his hand. Another shot burst through the night
" Fred GET DOWN!" Gene shoved him out of the way and whipped out his pistol before ducking behind a tree. He heard the faint mumbling of someone
"Dammit Wrong One!!!" The voice hissed. Gene’s anger grew as he heard Fred sitting by his side whimpering and clutching his waist. Peaking out from behind the tree only the wind made noise now. Glancing about he noticed something moving in a clump of bushes. Instantly he shot toward it. Twice he heard his shots his something metal, the third time he heard nothing but a muffled gasp. Watching carefully he never saw anything dart out through the darkness
" I think I got him…" Gene muttered much to Fred’s delight. Gene kneeled down and pulled Fred up gently.
" You gonna be okay Fred?" Fred was sweating and still breathing heavy
" Yeah I’ll be fine… What about you? That isn’t fake blood oozing out your arm." He chuckled then cut it short with a pained gasp
" I’ve had worse paper cuts…" They both laughed, once again Fred cut his laughter short but this time with a strained panting.
Gene was trying to help Fred up when a dull glowing light tagged his eye. It emanated from the bushes. Gene caught a rash breath in his throat, all at once and yet each a separate event Gene grabbed Fred and bounded out of the way toward the cliff’s edge as the glowing emanation came closer to them. The tree they had been behind exploded into a array of gold and red Gene hit the ground on his shoulder but paid it no mind as he laid the terrified and weeping Fred down next to him. Gene charged the bushes when a dark blur flew above and over him and ran toward Fred. Raising his pistol swiftly his whole body burned for a second as he heard the hollow click of the barrel.
Instinctively he grabbed his caster, the assassin jumped into the air, Gene aimed skyward.
"Eat this you son of a…" The sound of his caster silenced his words, Gene looked toward Fred, instantly a nauseated wave of fear flashed through him. Fred was standing up and trying to get away!
" FRED!!! GET DOWN!!!!!" Gene started running with everything in himself toward Fred. Too late!! The shell exploded sending the assassin flat to the ground in a charred lump, the force of the explosion threw Fred down. Gene ran faster when he didn’t see Fred move. When Gene was halfway to Fred, Fred leaned up on his shoulder and looked toward Gene, and smiled. It was a delighted smile as he saw the dead assassin… it was over… they could say they survived another one… Gene felt himself sigh with relief.

Fred tried to stand up but fell over from mostly exaustion. Gene continued toward Fred, but he walked now… that and by now his shoulder had started stinging with a burning pain, he gripped it tightly.

Fred heard the blistered crack before Gene saw it. Glaring around him Fred saw nothing. Gene’s blood ran cold, his muscles clamping tight. The explosion had caused a deep wound in the dirt cliff from it, a deep crack was spreading quickly. Gene panicked even more as he ran toward his love,
" FRED!!!! IT’S GOING TO COLAPSE MOOOVE!!!!" Fred looked around him, not sure what Gene meant.
Time slowed down… The Earth gave way under Fred as he had just started trying to move, Gene leapt as hard as he could, Fred’s hand grazed the earthly edge still there but it too gave way into a clump of powdery dirt. Gene slammed on the ground quickly jolting his arm over the edge and grasped Fred’s desperately, instantly Gene felt electricity burn around his shoulder that jolted up his arm, Gene let out a high pitched yelp of a scream. He had grabbed Fred Lowe’s hand with his right arm. Fred’s breathing was erotic and short, His face stayed locked in a gleam of pure terror.

" FRED!!!" Gene looked beyond Fred to the deep darkness below.. Fred started crying like an innocent child, his muscles ached as he gripped Gene’s hand agonizingly tight.
" GENE!!! DON’T LET ME GO!!! PLEEASE DON’T LET ME GO GENE!!!" His voice shook with horror as he looked downward himself and whimpered lightly. Gene’s arm tingled painfully now, but he couldn’t use his other arm, cause it was buried into the soft surrounding dirt to hold him himself there, and to pull him up was impossible due to his arm. Gene couldn’t think of anything to say looking into Fred’s eyes as the moon reflected off his tears. He didn’t have some daring plan to get himself out of this one… He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how much longer he could hold on. Gene panted heavily as thousands of broken thoughts slipped through his mind.
( What do I do!?!?! DAMMIT!!! THINK OF SOMETHING!!! LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!) His mind kept screaming at him. Gene tried to lift Fred slightly, but quickly quit as the fiery surge rushed through his veins… His cry echoed below them.

" HELP ME GENE!!!!" Fred was crying desperately while trying to grasp something with his other hand, but nothing solid was about… beside Gene’s wounded arm.
( I… … Can’t…)

All at once Gene found himself bawling, he couldn’t be the strong one, he knew crying was the last thing Fred needed to see right now. But he had too… His love’s life was in his hands, hands that weren’t as strong as they normally were. Hands that were slipping, He had nothing else left in him…
"Gene??" Fred whispered feeling Gene’s tears on his face

~ I know this may be
The very last time that
we see each other cry…
But whatever happens know that I’ll~

" Fred… I… I can’t pull you up!" Gene cried softly… Time stood still as they looked deeply into each others eyes

" Gene… whatever happens… I will always love you…" Fred’s voice had become strangely calm as if he knew what was going to happen
" Fred… oh god Fred…" Gene’s mind ran frantically.
Gene felt his body sink lower, as he turned his head behind him… their combined weight was causing another chunk of the soft earth to begin giving way.

" Fred… here we go…" Gene squeezed Fred’s hand lovingly, Fred gazed startled at Gene
" WE?? GENE!!! Let GO!!! At least one of us will live!!" Fred began struggling not even paying attention to the pain in his waist.

" WHY LIVE FRED!? So I can live in misery without you!!" The earth sagged down again, ready to collapse at any moment.
" DAMMIT GENE!!! WHAT IF I WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!" Fred argued back… Fred was finally able to grasp Gene wrist.
" Gene, I love you… that’s why I’m doing this… I love you… don’t forget that…" Fred pressed in as hard as he could into Gene’s wrist with his thumb. Gene held on as tightly as he could, not wanting to let go… Gene felt the tingling that sparked in his wrist from the lack of blood flow
" DAMMIT GENE!!! LETT GOOO!!!" Fred spat jamming his thumb into Gene’s wrist even harder. Gene felt his nerves give in and his grip go soft. He felt Fred’s slender, cool fingers glide past his as Fred’s body flew to the depths below
" FRREEDD!!!! DAMMIT!!!" Gene leaned further over the edge, but quickly jumped away as the earth underneath gave way… Lying on his stomach he reared up onto his knees in a mix of bitter sobbing, cussing, and finally leaning over and throwing up.

It had been 5 years…Gene raised his head up watching the fresh stars twinkle in the sky… there light almost a blessing to his soul.

~ I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
hoping that one day you’ll come back again
I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping that someday you’ll come back to me
I’ll be praying for whatever it’s worth
Believing that one day you’ll come back again
I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping for someday ~

By time Gene had found Fred’s body, called for help, and they arrived. Fred had long lost his sweet warmth, but Gene didn’t care. They found Gene supporting the man in his arms, stroking his slicked, satin hair. He whispered something into the limp body’s ear over and over. He had even kissed Fred’s paling lips, trying to give them back the sweetness that made Gene thrive. Gene bawled endlessly, waiting for his love to open his eyes, kiss Gene back and say everything was alright.

"Gene!!" Gene heard the small voice in the back of his head, looking out he saw the small, but shapely figure of his blond companion, Jim… Gene shook violently
" Just… … Go AWAY Jim… You’ll never understand!" He said clutching his dead love, thinking about how he and Fred had planned on telling them all… and not caring what was thought after that.

" Gene?.." Jim laid his hand on Gene’s injured shoulder lightly, " I pretty much knew…" He whispered as Gene looked up into his large blue eyes that too were beginning to fill with tears. Gene wrapped his arms around Jim’s waist, clutching him tightly…
" If I… had only.. … held on Jim…" Gene was shaking uncontrollably as Jim wrapped his arms around Gene’s neck whispering
"It’s okay… it’s not your fault Gene… you can’t blame yourself." Gene’s cries had died down and now he just sat on the ground not knowing what to think, how to feel… where to go… They had long since taken Fred’s body, and had basically forbid him from following or going with them in his hysterical state. All that remained there now were a few paramedics that were nearly finished patching his arm.
" I failed him Jim… I broke my promise to him… I… … .. couldn’t…"

5 years… too many tears… too many memories… and yet, he came there every chance he had. It found it the most calming place, and the place he hated most all at the same time. Every time he stood (or laid) on the area, he always brought a fresh cut rose… and laid it across a the flat side of a rock. Deep crimson red that blazed in the orange wash of light.
" I broke my promise to you… I… … … couldn’t protect you…" He turned away and began walking back towards his car… his life had been duller after that… He quit accepting "missions" and had devoted himself into working on machinery.
He and Jim had a somewhat relationship… Gene loved him, and ever since he had never let ANY harm come to Jim. It was kinda like protecting your younger brother, except instead of giving a innocent hug, it was a deep kiss and a passionate embrace. Somehow, it kept Gene alive to know he had someone to protect. But he never forgot his love for Fred… sometimes he still even dreamed they were together on the most perfect of nights at there spot. He still dreamed that someday, his tall prince would return to him, and maybe he was… if only in his dreams… He still felt Fred there, with him… and remembered something that he had said on that last special time together,
" And even if that did happen Gene, I’d be happy knowing that at least for a little while, you loved me."
A single rose, with it’s velvety petals blew from it’s place with a swift gust of wind, dancing in the golden sunlight. Gene gave his half smile grin… and walked away…

~ Waiting for someday
Believing in someday

Praying for someday---

I’ll be longing for someday

clinging to someday
cherishing someday---

I’ll be thinking of someday

dreaming of someday
wishing for someday---

I’ll be living for someday

counting on someday

knowing that one day---
I will see you ~

~ Lariah Correll~
© 10/12/2001