Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Bags of Fun
Well, I received a package, which doesn’t occur too often but that’s not the point. With the item inside the package came a small plastic bag containing said Item. It was not a special bag of any kind, not made for protecting the item inside it and not made to reseal itself in a magical or comical way and not made to hold harmful chemicals not meant to be in the possession of civilian personnel. Just a plain bag, but what plans I had made for it. The dreams I had of that bag’s future, the anticipation of its glorious arrival and subsequent rise to fame and fortune, with me as the bag’s guiding force. But all of this would be crushed in a single instant.
Upon further inspection of the bag, a warning was noticed (not that it was missed upon some inadequate and faulty first inspection, or even that there was two inspections, it just sounds better worded that way). Anyways, the warning read “Warning- To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and children. Do not use in cribs, beds, carriages, or play pens.” What?! I was planning on using it in my bed, crib, play pen, and carriage. Now, I think this warning needs further clarification. Does this mean that there is no danger of adults suffocating on this bag? When it says carriages, is it only referring to baby carriages, or would horses pulling my horse-drawn carriage be endangered if the bag is in close proximity to them? Is it covered in some sort of horse repellent?
Clearly the warning on this bag is not as detailed as it should be. Are we supposed to assume these things? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to put my horses in jeopardy, much less my own. I would contact the company that made the bag but there is no company name printed anywhere on it. The only acknowledgement is that it is made in China. This must be some sort of dastardly plot by the Chinese. By printing somewhat obscure and possibly misleading warnings upon plastic bags they are plotting the doom of us all! Wait, does this mean that my line of plastic bag covered play pens and beds is a bad idea? That’s not possible, someone would have warned me of the legal implications involved… well, other than my lawyer, family, friends, and pets.
But there’s more, upon the bag is inscribed in bold, underlined, and needlessly uppercase lettering: This bag is not a toy. But what about all the fun adventures I had planned with my plastic pal? I can’t play around with it for hours upon end? Can I have fun in any sort of proximity to it or is that banned as well? Oh, the Chinese have certainly fabricated a dastardly scheme this time. First they get our hopes up with anticipation of the arrival of a plastic bag and then they crush those dreams completely. Alas, those days of adventure and activity are now solely stories, and fiction stories at that. I do suppose planning my line of Imagination Corporation Space Battle Plastic Bag Helmets probably wasn’t the best idea. Well, maybe if I just stick a warning on it, it’ll all be fine. - 3/15/04
Home