Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Beer Bulletins
Beer. It has shaped our lands and places where people sit on stools and countless social gatherings of various sorts for good or worse, quite often worse it seems. Now, several new things are happening in the wonderful world of beer. Right now, there is beer, roughly ten tons of it to be precise, trapped and in desperate need of help. This unfortunate incident is taking place in Russia where the beverage is trapped under ice in Siberia, and a rescue team has been trying to rescue the trapped beverage for a week, including a modified tank (we can assume specifically made for special beer rescues such as this). However, now the Russian government has sent in the Army to take care of the job. It is such a noble and righteous cause it brings tears to your eyes.
Across the world to Germany (a land known for it’s brilliant beer breakthroughs), a brewing company has developed a beer they claim to slow down the aging process. The “Anti-Aging-Bier” will be released by the German Neuzeller Kloster Brewing Company later this year to grocery and drug stores. Apparently, the beer tastes like beer (imagine that), except there is the question as to whether or not it is beer. The “beer” contains vitamins and minerals that are designed to fight the aging process but a law dating back to 1516 says that a drink can be called “beer” if it is made from only barley, hops, yeast, and water. Well too bad for them, they should have thought of that before they tried tainting our precious beer, the scoundrels.
From Europe all the way back to the states, a Oregon brewery is now marketing a new product. The brand new beer product will be labeled “The Governator.” Now, not much of a beer name, true, although it’s obvious reference to the way machines are now “governing” society is obvious and the bottle itself brings up a prime example. This irony is compounded by the fact that the bottles are bottled by machines. Such high-thinking humor is not often found in the beer industry and is rather refreshing. Or, of course it could be referring to the new governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Yes, in honor of his new governorship, he has a beer named after him (now that’s success). It is a “strong brew” and demand has risen for this extra bitter ale since it‘s debut. The label features a man flexing muscles below the California state logo. The bottle is oversized with the words “Pumpin Iron Brewing” on it. Apparently, to the surprise of the manufacturers, the beer supposedly is good, after all it does have a higher alcohol content which just promises fun-filled drunken stupors. Now, given that most beer drinkers don’t want to see a man flexing muscle on their bottle, there is always the possibility that with enough consumption the image will change into something else in an almost magical metamorphosis that brings with it headaches and vomit abound. Now that’s ingenuity! -1/27/04
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