A Pen Pen for your Thoughts

We (or I) here at Pen Pen’s Evangelion like to be on the cutting-edge, a trendsetter if you will. In that spirit, I have decided to revise treatment of the f-word. There is too much cursing, either by whippersnappers, rapscallions, or whippersnapper rapscallions – the f-word has permeated and saturated society like squishy disgusting water in our shoes. It makes most of us uncomfortable; some of us oddly enjoy it, while others (freaks/hippies) wear no shoes at all. I shall not bother going into details of the metaphorical sock since race is not an issue here (white vs. black vs. Champion/Aryan vs. ones with grey patches on them).

My proposal is simple; the kids these days, as well as governmental and international organizations love acronyms, right? We already have “F you” or “eff you” if you want to act all crazy-like. But really, that’s just “Fu” or “Foo” (Fighters? – NOW I get it, they fight cursing). What about going the other half to make a full acronym like: F Union of Celtic Knights. Okay, that’s a bad example, there’s already too much discrimination against Celtic Knights. I wouldn’t want to increase their plight any further, as Lincoln famously remarked, “When you make your bed make sure there aren’t any Celtic Knights in it.”

I’d suggest FU Calvin Klein since they already use the acronym CK but then people would think you’re directing your anger against Calvin Klein which isn’t the case (part of the time). We already have H E double hockey sticks (or toothpicks as I once heard it called in the backwater desert of Peru), why can’t we do the same for the f-word? Well, sadly, F U half-circle and half of an X-bar connected to an I-beam doesn’t have the same effect.

Perhaps the problem is with the word itself. Maybe something synonymous with the f-word would “jive” better with today’s youth. This has led me to the answer to all our problems: F.O.R.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.-N.O.W. French Ocelots Resisting Naturalization and Immigration for Canadian Atheistic Theologians Into Oceanic Nations – Notwithstanding Oregon and Washington. I think it works – not really sure what it means – but I’m sure it is in accordance to how French Ocelots usually act – like bastards. – 4/20/06