A Pen Pen for your Thoughts

Some things I tried to write today:

A Story Having Nothing To Do With Cannibalism, Other Than The Title

Attempt 1: He was an unusual boy in many ways. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of the year. For another, he really wanted to taste human flesh. The succulent and inviting taste just calling to him…

Attempt 2: To install the DVD ROM into your computer, you must first unplug it completely. Afterwards, take of the covering, this can be accomplished by removing the screws, that are most often placed on the back. Then sliding the covering off. Afterwards, you find the correct connector cords, and after feeding on some human flesh, connect them. Afterwards…

Attempt 3: Mercutio went over to the fiery Tybalt. He then bit a chunk out of his shoulder and exclaimed, "How great thou tasteth!"

Attempt 4: A continuous rant is now attempted to avoid a certain subject and proclaim victory in this area of attempting to not write about some certain subject. Now, the primary question is where the rant can be carried. It could be taken to talk about anime, which the website is about, or it could go on to talk about some other thing the author knows about. However, since the author only watches anime, and actually has no life, this becomes a difficult task to achieve. Now, this line of ranting aimlessly could continue for some time and therefore reach the appointed goal. And then this could end, cannibalism, blast.

Attempt 5: Since it has become obvious that the author is strictly limited in his writing, this rant will merely be unintelligible, possibly unpronounceable exclamations: Boogidy boogidy boo! Huzzbah! Allakazoo! Ecky Ecky Ecky Zbang Zoom Boing Nourrnmm. Qakiki! Shikaka! Ni! Whoopdeedo! Cannibalikai! …Does that count? Better make sure: Cannibalism!

Attempt 6: I will proceed to type "t" several times: tttttttttcttttatntntitbtatltitstm. Success! No, wait.

Attempt 7: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. That means that it was really, really good and really, really bad, times, both at the same time. Maybe some people were having a good time and others… not so much. However, the impoverished were impoverished, yet they did not let go of their values. Well, most of them. There was one guy, called Crazy Ted, who went around eating people, but that's beside the point.

Attempt 8: "And so I said to the guy: get your own monkey! Get it? That's great stuff. Anyway, about the cardiovascular surgery stuff, is that serious?" said Ted. "Well, it is on the heart," replied Jim. "So… is it?" "Yes, Ted, it is," Jim replied. "Have you thought about your will?" asked Ted. "My will to rule the world and oppress people? Yes, quite often. I was actually thinking about it, not five minutes ago" "No, I meant the will that distributes your belongings when you die," Ted interrupted. "Oh, THAT will. Yes, I have," replied Jim. "What about funeral arrangements?" asked Ted. "Well, I haven't really decided upon anything." Jim said. "Have you heard about donating your body for the good of others?" "Medical purposes? No, that doesn't suit me." Jim answered. "Actually, I was referring to the new program where your body is given to the poor for consumption, now my cousin tells me that…

Attempt 9: Begin, possibly with amusing anecdote. Insert plot here, without references to certain eating habits, and make it nice and adventurous. Some parts should also be humorous, but not certain eating habit jokes, those aren't acceptable. Also, make it well-written and filled with deadwood to make it a fairly good-sized novel. Then end it in a dramatic, but not cliché way. Victory is mine! - 5/29/03

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