Pen Pen's Evangelion

A Pen Pen for your Thoughts

This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.

Attempt 1: There once was a goat named Jimmy Joe Horn
He would steal and eat chickens from his neighbor's barn
When his neighbor found out he was mighty peeved
But the fight didn’t last long because the goat knew Steve,
Steve was from Russia and knew how to fight,
The goat called up Steve just for spite,
Steve went to the neighbor and he was surprised,
However the neighbor was quite wise
He killed Steve with a spoon that he had,
The spoon was named Stabby and was quite sad,
The spoon never wanted to kill and felt quite ill,
So he wrote a book about it and sued poor Phil,
Which was the neighbor's name and is now famous for his killer spoon named Stabby and Steve

Attempt 2: When I was young
There was a cat that lived on our street
It wasn't a pleasant experience when we'd meet
The cat had claws made of bone
It scratched me and I ran straight home
Now I'm all alone in my own little den
I didn't know now what I knew then
I'm not really sure how that part works out
I have incredible urges for tuna and trout
I've been a were-cat since my injury
It's not as glamarous as it's made out to be
I have large furballs almost daily

Attempt 3: I shot myself in the foot one day
I told the government they'd have to pay
You see, the gun didn't belong to me
I won it through an army lottery
Not so much a lottery, but it was for free
I sort of stole it from Private Buck McGee
He didn't know it was gone after I stabbed him in the face
Stabbing actually works much better than silly mace
So I sued the government with my claim
That the trigger was faulty and so was the aim
I won that case without much fuss
I used the money to buy myself a bus
I filled that bus with lots of kelp from the bay
Because I'm obviously quite crazy
I'm glad the jury is made up of my peers
Because they were all stupid as steers

Attempt 4:. I went to the doctor one Thursday night
I had a heart murmur and much to my fright
The murmurs had stopped and what did I hear
but Heart Conversations right in my ear
The doctor just laughed and called me a clown
But he said he'd give me a shot to calm me down
But my heart told me what was really in store
It wasn't true love that was in his drawer
So I ran out of the room and set fire to my hand
My heart told me it was actually in on the plan
The only one left was my dear old heart
I felt fiery love I realized with a start
Some mortal advice my heart did inpart
"It's not true love" it said
"Just some heart burn and indigestion"

Attempt 5: I went out with high expectations
I came back with angry dejection
What was that the man said?
He wanted me and my mongoose dead?
I like my mongoose, aptly named Jim
He can dance and sing and swim
I found him in an alleyway one night
He saw me and was ready to fight
Jim was a hunter with great skill
He shot deer, elk, and my neighbor Phil
That might be why people want Jim dead
They want to snuff the life ouf of his cute little head
I won't let them do such a thing
For one day Jim will be a king
The mongoose monarchy will hail his name
And talk of Jim the 3rd's wonderful reign

Attempt 6: The sirens blaring all around
I find myself upon the ground
I can't stand up with my own will
Over my entire body I feel a creamy chill
It wasn't supposed to go this way
My ice cream truck robbery - 1/30/05