Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
No, I Will Not Pardon Your “French”
You are having a conversation when someone else (hopefully not you) will cuss, possibly to try making a point, and then quickly say, “Pardon my French.” Not to be nit-picky (okay maybe it is), but I believe that is incorrect. Even though I do not speak French I am fairly certain words like f*** and sh** (if you do not know what the words with the *s are, form your hand into a fist and move your head forcefully into your hand repeatedly) are not French. If they are they certainly do not refer to the same acts and things as in English. You could at least say, pardon my English, considering you are speaking English. Some of you may think, that it is witty to say pardon my French. I admit it may have been witty the first couple of times it was done, but now? No, not witty. All wittiness that was once in it has been drained away, out of extensive use. Also, if you are trying to impress people by hinting you know more languages than English, unless you are speaking to someone renowned for their stupidity, this will not work. Although it may work under the circumstances that they do not know English or French, but if that is the scenario why are you trying to talk to them? Even then they may be able to see through your false bilingual ability. They would not laugh either as they continually say they don’t speak English and you just talk to them. I have many non-English speaking friends, which I laugh at when they are confused. It is quite entertaining. You should try it. Back to topic, after cussing they apologize for what they just said. If you are going to offend them by cussing, then why do it? If they were the kind of people who would be offended they would not think that it emphasized the point. You would look like an idiot, especially since you apparently have no control over what you say. Now, when under the influence of alcohol or other substances that you use (I know about it) it is understandable to occasionally slip your overwhelming hatred for this little cockroach you are speaking to or to discuss the futility of trying to talk to such fools, then apology is acceptable. However, during the brief periods when you are sober and clean, it is not. Making people think that you don’t know how to control what you say doesn’t exactly raise the value of your opinion in their eyes. It’s simple, if you are just going to apologize for what you say then don’t say it. The apology obviously isn’t sincere, you haven’t thought about what you said nor sat in the corner for a few minutes as a punishment for the offensive things you said. As usual, you will end up being the blundering buffoon of the gathering. Sadly, this overused phrase is not limited to social gatherings and can be heard all across America, echoing like bitter tasting Drain-O in our throats (Drain-O is not to be drunk or consumed in anyway, but it is bitter, trust me). It also makes all who hear it feel sick, similar to what you feel like after drinking Drain-O. The next time you hear someone say pardon my French, do the right thing and punch that person in the face. Afterwards you should say, “Pardon my nonviolent protest.” That ought to show them that they should stop repeating that phrase. To those who will continue to repeat the phrase, disregard the previous sentences and do not offer any protection from being hit. Also, go ahead and paint a target on your face, this will emphasize your knowledge of other cultures and you can say that it is a tradition of some tribes-people. This will work and impress others. What? No, it is not to make it easier and more of a game for anyone who is going to hit you. Also, even though the bottle says if you ingest it you should call poison control, take a large swig of Drain-O afterwards to celebrate your vast knowledge of the French language and tribes-people (Pen Pen’s Evangelion is not responsible to anyone foolish enough to actually drink Drain-O, although if you do please inform the webmaster so he can have a good laugh at your expense). Also, some of you can just ignore the previous part in parenthesis (particularly the ones who will continue to say pardon my French). Ignore that also. Or you could skip what was said above and never utter the phrase pardon my French again, unless of course you take the time to actually learn French in which case go ahead and proceed with the above steps. -5/17/02
Home