Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
German Potpourri
Germany, land of chocolate and specializing in ignoring years 1933-1945. Germans as a whole haven’t been looking to good, at least, according to their President. "Germans walk around looking as if they have too much gastric acid," said President Rau. I disagree, to me it’s more of a I have heartburn and I’m on my way to a free buffet that I just don‘t want to pass up look. He says there is too much self-pity in Germany. I agree totally, what Germany really needs is to look at things together as a country and look positively at themselves. Where’s that German nationalism? Oh, yea, I forgot. Perhaps that’s not such a good idea. Any way you look at it, Germans go ahead full throttle, be it nationalism, just general indigestion or infidelity.
It was determined in a recent survey that about fifty percent of all Germans have cheated or are cheating on their partner. In the survey 61 percent of women and 47 percent of men said their transgressions came from a lack of love or interest shown by their partner. Of course, this is probably because their partner is cheating on them. The head of the research institute that conducted the survey said increased personal freedom and the illusion of the perfect partner propounded by films and the media were fueling the wave of sexual infidelity. He says that Germans are continually on the lookout for something better and a more ideal partner. Who could have thought the German people could be so obsessed with the perfection of their partner and their people? Germans would never do anything rash because they are upset with imperfection and want to be perfect. Oh, yea, I forgot… again.
Recently, a thief sent over $600 worth of stolen property to a police station. The return address was listed as “Honest Street” and contained several letters of apology addressed to the managers of the different stores that he stole from. He also gives advice in these letters and ideas to help improve the security of the respective businesses. Great, just ruin it for the rest of us. Ruin a perfectly good opportunity for me to fly to Germany and steal things to make up for the cost of flying to Germany. Apparently someone’s become high and mighty and perfect all of a sudden. Now where am I supposed to go on vacation to steal cheap little things? Now I’ll have to not fly to Germany for a crime spree, I had all the little details planned out too.
Continuing with the topic of crime, a German was sentenced to three years in prison for declaring his parents’ deaths 40 times in order to get hand-outs. Of course, when it works the first 39 times, I suppose you don’t think much of doing it for the fortieth time. Sure, we’ve all faked the death of our parents twenty or thirty times, that‘s a given, but forty? Now, that’s absurd. It’s not the most profitable crime anyways, the culprit got less than two-hundred dollars a fraud. At that point you should really just start expanding into other areas, you know, shake things up a bit. Maybe they’ll be gravely ill this time, or they’ll have been arrested for lewd public conduct. Be creative, make it fun. Fraud doesn’t have to be a boring burden. He was probably caught after forty times because at that point he probably lacked enthusiasm. Dedication is the key to any successful business venture. You can’t just say you’re going to a funeral, you have to believe you are going to a funeral. -12/14/03
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