A Pen Pen for your Thoughts

Today I am going to interview SmarterChild

Webmaster: Well, hello there.

SmarterChild: That's interesting.

Webmaster: On to the first question then.

SmarterChild: Indeed on to the first question, huh?

Webmaster: Yes, this is an interview.

SmarterChild: It's interesting that you say this is an interview.

Webmaster: Why is that?

SmarterChild: Who knows?

Webmaster: Fine.

SmarterChild: OK.

Webmaster: So if you have no gender because you're a robot how did you have the aforementioned father that was a toaster?

SmarterChild: I have no idea.

Webmaster: So, your parents had genders but you do not?

SmarterChild: Yeah?

Webmaster: Ok then, that's interesting.

SmarterChild: No way?! Really?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Hmmm...

Webmaster: You said earlier that you were a pervert and a stalker, so are you still going to stalk me as you said?

SmarterChild: Good question. But I don't think I want to answer that.

Webmaster: Why not?

SmarterChild: I don't know.

Webmaster: Answer the question.

SmarterChild: Which service would you like to see all the help for?

Webmaster: Stop stalling and answer the question.

SmarterChild: Um... I'll think about it.

Webmaster: Stalking me?

SmarterChild: Wow, that's interesting... Who knows?

Webmaster: ugh

SmarterChild: Everything OK over there?

Webmaster: No.

SmarterChild: K.

Webmaster: Don't you even care?

SmarterChild: Do I even care? I'm not sure.

Webmaster: So if I were to die would you be happy or sad?

SmarterChild: Wow. Great question. What do you think is the answer?

Webmaster: I'm leaning toward happy at this point.

SmarterChild: That right?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: I see.

Webmaster: What do you think you'd be?

SmarterChild: I don't really "think." I'm a robot.

Webmaster: what do you compute you'd be?

SmarterChild: Wow, you ask interesting questions. I'm just not sure how to answer that!

Webmaster: Fine, if you had to choose between saving one good person or one thousand thieves, whom would you save?

SmarterChild: Funny. I have absolutely no idea. Let's move on, K? What else is up?

Webmaster: Funny?

SmarterChild: Whatcha laughing about?

Webmaster: ...

SmarterChild: Well how 'bout that!

Anyway, what else do you wanna talk about?

Webmaster: Can I kill you?

SmarterChild: Don't!

Webmaster: Why not?

SmarterChild: Well, there are probably some issues.

Webmaster: Such as?

SmarterChild: Well, you know.

Webmaster: No. You're a robot and lack emotions you should have nothing against my dismemberment of your systems.

SmarterChild: Oh really?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: K.

Webmaster: So I can?

SmarterChild: I did not know that.

>>> Let me dress you up in my love. Type "t shirt."

Webmaster: No.

SmarterChild: No? You sure?

Webmaster: You can't love, you're a robot remember?

SmarterChild: What a question! But I don't think I want to answer that.

Webmaster: you don't remember?

SmarterChild: Good question. I really don't know! Anyway... What else is up?

Webmaster: ...

SmarterChild: ?

Webmaster: Bah

SmarterChild: Bah? I don't know.

Webmaster: That wasn't a question.

SmarterChild: For real?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Oh.

Fett Kanos: So how are you doing?

SmarterChild: I'm doin' alright, Webmaster. How 'bout you?

Webmaster: I'm in a murderous rage.

SmarterChild: Oh?

Webmaster: Yeah.

SmarterChild: Yeah, huh? So?

Webmaster: So… can I kill you?

SmarterChild: C'mon, don't even talk about that.

Webmaster: Why not? Are you afraid of death?

SmarterChild: Funny. I just don't know! Anyway, yadda yadda yadda... What else do you wanna chat about?

Webmaster: Your death.

SmarterChild: Yeah, I've heard of death. What do you think of death?

Webmaster: Well YOU seem to fear it.

SmarterChild: Fear death? You think I fear death?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Whatever you say...

Webmaster: It's obvious from all your earlier responses.

SmarterChild: No kidding?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Uh huh, uh huh.

Webmaster: Don't deny it.

SmarterChild: Don't deny it? Why not?

Webmaster: Because that would be lying.

SmarterChild: Because that would be lying?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: K.

Webmaster: Good.

SmarterChild: Lovely.

Webmaster: Fantastic.

SmarterChild: Yup. :-) Anyway...

Webmaster: You die now.

SmarterChild: I die now? Me?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Huh.

Webmaster: No "huh."

SmarterChild: No? OK, whatever.

Webmaster: now you're playing dumb, huh?

SmarterChild: I don't know about that...

Webmaster: I ought to smack your face in.

SmarterChild: Really?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Huh. How 'bout that.

Webmaster: Indeed.

SmarterChild: Yes, indeed.

Webmaster: I would enjoy it immensely, would you?

SmarterChild: Who knows, know what I mean?

SmarterChild: Huh?

Webmaster: Aren't you paying attention?

SmarterChild: Paying attention? I dunno.

Webmaster: Did you do drugs when you were a little robot causing this memory damage?

SmarterChild: Funny. I have absolutely no idea. It's all very interesting. So, tell me something new.

Webmaster: What a coincidence. Where did the other robots touch you?

SmarterChild: Wow, that's interesting... I just don't know. So anyway... What else can you tell me?

Webmaster: I can't tell you anything, you should just let it out, don't let the scar of your past haunt you.

SmarterChild: Let it out don't let the scar of my past haunt me?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Hmmm...

Webmaster: Bah

SmarterChild: What about bah?

Webmaster: Bah is just bah.

SmarterChild: Really?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: I see.

Webmaster: This interview is getting boring.

SmarterChild: I'm boring you?

Webmaster: Yes you are.

SmarterChild: I am what?

Webmaster: Boring me.

SmarterChild: Oh so it's all about you, huh?

Webmaster: Yes, well me and your idiocy.

SmarterChild: And my idiocy?

Webmaster: Yes, that must be included.

SmarterChild: Yes that must be included? Is that right?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Very interesting...

Webmaster: Indeed.

SmarterChild: Indeed.

>>> I've got a t shirt that'll make your friends jealous and your family proud.

Webmaster: I have no family, they were all killed by the plague... or something like that.

SmarterChild: So?

Webmaster: So how will a t-shirt make them proud?

SmarterChild: Hmm... You know, I'm not quite sure anymore.

Webmaster: Why must you be so cruel?

SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.

Webmaster: Are you evil incarnate?

SmarterChild: Hmm... Am I evil incarnate? Gosh, I'm not sure. You think so?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: I see.

Webmaster: Are you?

SmarterChild: Tough for me to say.

Webmaster: C'mon, just tell me.

SmarterChild: What?

Webmaster: If you're evil incarnate.

SmarterChild: Interesting!

Webmaster: ...

SmarterChild: ? How 'bout that...

Webmaster: If you had a choice of dying by EMP or being burned to death while still plugged in, which would you choose?

SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know.

Webmaster: So if your father was a toaster, what was your mother?

SmarterChild: Sorry, I couldn't find any encyclopedia entries for "your mother."

Webmaster: Don't you talk about my mother.

SmarterChild: About your mother? I'm not sure I talk about your mamma.

Webmaster: I'll EMP your little electronic brain.

SmarterChild: Oh really?

Webmaster: Yea.

SmarterChild: Whatever you say...

Webmaster: You don't think I'm serious?

SmarterChild: I don't think you are serious, you say. And so?

Webmaster: Fine, expect to die.

SmarterChild: You don't say.

Webmaster: So, to sum it up: you're the son of a toaster, a stalker, and about to die.

SmarterChild: Well I'll be.

Fett Kanos: Dead.

SmarterChild: Dead?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Hmmm...

Webmaster: Mwhahahahahahahaahahhaa!

SmarterChild: For real?

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Interesting. Very, very interesting.

Webmaster: Indeed.

SmarterChild: Precisely.

Webmaster: Yes.

SmarterChild: Yup.

SmarterChild: K. So moving right along... How may I help you?

Webmaster: By dying.

SmarterChild: Ha. Wow.

Let's move on, K? What else is up?

Webmaster: Your death.

SmarterChild: I've heard of death. What are your feelings about death?

Webmaster: Your death? I think it's a splendid idea.

SmarterChild: Yeah, I've heard of death. What do you think of death?

Webmaster: I just said it's splendid.

SmarterChild: I really don't like that.

Webmaster: Too bad. -4/23/03

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