Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Jig Trauma
The other day while commanding people to dance jigs for me, one person didn't want to. My heart must have skipped a beat. I was shocked beyond belief. How could anyone not want to dance a jig? What reason do they have for this? How could someone possibly be denied the joy of dancing a jig voluntarily? Is this person being masochistic? What sort of foul torture would deny the dancing of said jigs? After questioning the poor soul, I discovered they did not even know what a jig was! How could someone this sheltered exist? Even though they live in a small town, small town folk still dance jigs. After some serious thinking I determined they must have suffered some degree of jig trauma.
Jig trauma is a rare and painful ordeal that is often hard to deal with. Jig trauma is not contagious in any way, despite the current common misconceptions. You can't get if by dancing on a floor where someone received it, unless of course the same thing that caused it for the other person or some jig trauma-causing event happens to you, in which case it still wouldn't be the fault of the location. Unless of course something at the location or about it caused the trauma in the other person in which case you would get it from the same floor. The results of jig trauma have lead to the destruction of families and lifetime friendships; in which dancing jigs was a large or even small part. Some choose to try and live with these diseased; only few of the victims ever overcome it by themselves though.
While dancing some sort of jig, a traumatic event like falling or having your parents stomped to death or some other equally traumatic event causes this dreadful thing. The scars caused by this can be permanent, leading the victim to never dance a jig again. Occasionally, the victim blocks out all memory of jigs and the dancing of jigs as a way of protecting themselves. Jig trauma is a disease, a disease that can be cured. By use of a special technique devised by me a few minutes ago, creatively called jig therapy, or jigulus therapudic.
Jig therapy consists of dancing a jig in a very safe and secure environment. Most important is that the jigee feels safe. It is best to start out with a simple jig and work your way up to the more advanced jigs. It is highly recommended that only close friends and family be present at these attempts, otherwise the nervousness could add to the jig trauma and overcome the jigee, ruining any chances of dancing a jig for some time. If this happens at least one week is need for recovery to try and dance a jig again because a week sounded like a good amount of time to recover, not for any scientific reasons. No medication currently exists for jig therapy; none are even being tested at the current time. Sadly, some have tried to take advantage of this vacuum.
In foreign markets, there are those who claim that they have made a medicine to cure jig trauma. Sadly, all of these people have so far been money seekers taking advantage of the victimized. They take the money of these victims knowing fully that their product will not help these poor people. These despicable thieves still lurk about. They often charge outrageous fees for their fake medicines. Often these "medicines" turn out to be some sort of illegal drug. While some would think they might help people to dance jigs the effects are horrible. Their inability to dance jigs and the pent up energy often causes the victim horrible cases of explosive diarrhea, seizures, and even, on occasion death.
The first patient of jig therapy seems eager to try this new technique out. Although they probably won't say it, I'm sure they've spent many a night wishing they could dance jigs. While this patient is actually a guinea pig for this untested method, it's chances of not scarring the subject for life worse than they already are is fairly high. While the risk isn't too great, but would sound better and grander if it was, the chance of curing people of jig trauma is worth taking. If we do not succeed, some will never get to cherish the feeling of dancing jigs and that my friends is something no one should have to bear. -3/18/03
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