A Pen Pen for your Thoughts

There’s a retired couple in China that began their search for a daughter. Not a missing daughter, but someone to become a daughter to look after them. This person will take the place of their son who has left them for Canada. Talk about a slap in the face, just because someone immigrates to a country half a world away doesn’t mean you’re “abandoning” them or need to be “replaced” by a farce of a sibling. However strange this may be, this might be the beginning of a brave new trend. In a culture where couples are only supposed to have one child, this can be changed by adopting children that already have other parents. This also requires less work for the parents, in both the physical sense, in paperwork, and monetary sense. Why spend time and money trying to find children to adopt?

It’s so much simpler to just set up shop and let potential consumers (children) approach you. One can interview candidates and get the pick of the litter. There will be no more misbehaving or disappointing children who fly to Canada. Even if this were to happen, a child that has no blood ties can be disowned even easier, it’s a win-win situation. You can choose an age group as well, getting to miss the messy childhood or the years of “development” and enjoy the finished product. With options like that, I wonder why anyone raises children at all. Why should one risk the chances of having an ugly child or a dumb child, when one can select beautiful and smart children from the leisure of their business set up to find a child?

This is also a good sign that China’s Communist Party may break like a Ming vase in the hands of children that have not been pre-screened to be around valuables. After all, what’s more capitalist than conducting interviews and narrowing it down slowly so the most qualified candidates are selected to fill a position? And there’s also a trial period of three years before being awarded parents. If that’s not the perfect chance to scam someone into being your child (if your child were a maid) then it’s a really good opportunity. The couple was sure to make clear that this was not the hiring of a servant or maid but the creation of a position of someone to look after them. They recently narrowed the candidates down to the final five. I’m sure the reality show will air sometime in the next few months.

This also opens the door for other adoptions. Need a granddaughter? A niece? What about a nice Uncle twice removed? You could even adopt stepchildren to neglect as if they were your very own! And why stop there? Family is just one relationship out of many that has suffered from others being less than perfect in your eyes. You can shop for new coworkers, friends, neighbors, and even representatives to the government (though this might not happen in China for a short while). Is that friend of yours not worthy of your trust? Shop for a new one! Is that child of yours not blonde and blue-eyed enough for you? Shop for a new one! Why, we can solve all of our problems by merely ignoring the ties we have and shopping for new ones. Because when we forgo all relationships but our perfect ones, then we won’t have to worry about any relationships at all. – 1/31/07