Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Plots and Schemes
Plotting and scheming is great fun for all ages. Sometimes, while I should be doing something else, I end up being too busy plotting evil and mischievous schemes, leading to problems later on, which leads to more plotting, and so on. I also have to practice the position I sit in when I plot and my evil laugh as well. Even if your laugh sounds bad at first, with enough practice you'll be able to strike fear into the most resilient and courageous hearts. Plotting is best done in the sitting position, because, although it may be a little known fact, sitting lets the energy that would be spent keeping the body standing or in another position, that is normally wasted doing so, be transferred into evilness and enhance plots by a surprising amount. Of course not just anyone can just sit down and seriously think they'll come up with plots of doom and such. There's much more to it than that. Plotting and scheming is an art form. If you're not careful you could get hurt if you try plotting and scheming for the first time. You could lose your voice while laughing, or fall out of your chair, or (*gasp*) even be standing while doing it leading to multiple injuries (bad ones too).
While many, such as myself, are self-taught (because I rule) others take the journey to Plottsylvania, the self-proclaimed plotting capital of the world. There are many schools for plotting located in Plottsylvania. Some who go there are amazed at the varying subjects in plotting. There's the ever-popular world domination classes, there's minor plotting classes for smaller scale ventures, and the overly-complex and confusing schemes classes for the very ambitious; just to name a few. There are also specific categories with environmental, weapon, and psychological damage infliction. One of the required classes for all the Plottsylvania schools is minion command. As everyone knows, someone with large plots needs minions. If it weren't for minions many plots would never get out of the initial plotting stage of plotting due to the inability to carry them out. Also, minions are expendable, which is helpful. Thankfully for the plotting and scheming industry, the minions have yet to organize into unions. All attempts thus far have been brutally crushed. There is also some required reading such as Machievelli's The Prince and The Guide to Successful Plotting and Scheming (both great reads).
Sadly, when they get out into the real world most plotters and schemers find it difficult and abandon their chosen field in favor of other professions that are somewhat menacing and devious (trash collectors for one; okay not too devious but still menacing… or not). One misconception is that plotting and scheming are the same, which couldn't be more wrong (okay, it could be more wrong, but it doesn't sound as good; the point is that's incorrect). A scheme is a carefully arranged and systematic program of action for attaining some object or end (with minions) while a plot is a secret, usually evil, project or scheme (with minions). See the difference (with minions)? Basically a plot is a (minion) scheme but a scheme is not necessarily a plot. However, plots are generally more (minion-like) evil schemes (hence, I plot and don't often scheme, minions).
Although most plotters and schemers could be considered evil (evil people don't necessarily think other evil people are evil, hey, evil people have opinions too) there are some who would even be considered good. How could this be so? I could plot to bake cookies for instance, would that be evil (note: these are not poisoned cookies)? Also not all plots by evil plotters are evil. Some plot most things, like eating (people) or gardening (people) or sitting (on chairs). Some become so involved in plotting they plot to plot, which eventually kills them because they are to busy plotting to do anything else (how many great plotters have died because of this). This side effect rarely happens though, and sadly there is yet a cure to stop them from plotting to plot because the people plotting to find a cure do not want to deprive others of plotting. That would go against the Plotter's Code, and we can't have that. -11/23/02
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