Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Plotting Pets
Pets. They are our friends and allies… or are they? For far too long our furry little friends have been allowed unrestrained access to sensitive facilities. The laboratory rat holds many of our medical secrets. The arch villain’s cat knows how to operate every doomsday device in it’s masters’ lair. There are K-9 units with access to military facilities. Now, the EU has given dogs, cats, and ferrets passports so they can safely and quickly travel from country to country. And how easy is it to slip through with a false I.D.? Much too easily for crazy people ranting about different things trying to take over the world, that’s for sure. This proves they’re just making it easier for when they finally come into power. In Germany dogs have to pay to get on public transportation! These are kind of muddled and erratic signs not really pointing to anything but being redirected and incorrectly associated with each other to form a crazy theory that pets are planning a takeover.
See! It doesn’t really make sense, unless of course you use your imagination. Think about it for a minute. Every pet owner says their pet is really smart, could it be because they see them for what they are after spending so much time with them? What animal could be leading this plot? The dolphins? No, it is so insidious it’s actually the last animal you’d think of. The turkey. Yes, who has more to gain than this bird that tastes so good? Well, maybe things like cows and chickens, but that’s besides the point. Turkeys? Aren’t they supposed to be the stupidest animal? Actually, they’ve fooled us all. Researchers have shown that they aren’t actually that stupid. That is just the tip of the iceberg. If I’m right, and I always am, then soon more research will be done and the turkey will be found to be quite intelligent.
Of course I’m not saying all pets are in on the scheme. For now, it is probably just a select few pulling the strings. Don’t go doing anything to your beloved dog or cat out of fear, well, okay you can mess with your cat a bit. Actually, it’d probably be better not to indicate to the pets your aware of their awareness because if they’re aware of our awareness of their awareness that’d be bad so we need to be aware of their awareness of our new awareness because if there is newfound awareness of our awareness of their awareness, then that could lead to some difficulties. See, that sentence sums it up crystal clear. How can you still have doubts? Even though they might not be part of the plot, at some point they may become involved in it.
It’ll be several years before their plans will come to fruition though. Too bad for them really. After all, by then the trees or the army of Elvis clones or the mole people will have taken over before they’re ready. It could be part of the ingeniousness of their plan though. If they don’t let anyone know about it, well anyone who is believed by people anyways, then the others won’t know about it and then they’ll be able to have an uprising, perhaps in conjunction with people, to overthrow the regime and a lot of their planning won’t go to waste. So pet your cat or your dog or whatever it is you have. After all, they’re plans are long and take awhile to germinate, letting you live your the rest of your days happily with your pet, until some other wacky thing behind some crazy theory takes over. -11/30/03
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