A Pen Pen for your Thoughts

There once was a majestic river that ran alongside a cougar's den. The cougar would often take refreshing dips in the water, becoming intimate with its every ripple and bend. It should then come as no surprise that the river birthed a cougar-river hybrid the following spring.

It was a translucent creature, with glimmering eyes and a shimmering body that flowed gracefully across the land. This hybrid did not know whether to call itself a couver or a rigar, so it just went by Dave instead. Unfortunately, Dave’s papa cougar had left the area and the river behind to find a better life in America and knew nothing of his offspring.

Dave wandered the countryside trying to fit in, but he could find no others like him. It was an old armadillo that first told Dave about the power of the Golden Thimble. It was a fabled objected that was taken from the animal kingdom and was said to grant the wielder substantial power, popularity, and sewing abilities. Dave desired the Golden Thimble to prevent his mother from always running away from him, downstream, as rivers are wont to do.

Occasionally one of the animals would go after the thimble but they always seemed to get sidetracked by offers for roles in nature specials. Since no one heard from them again, because they never bothered writing or calling, all who went in search of it were thought to have died.

This did not deter Dave, who had the teeth of a fierce cougar, the spirit of a raging river, and oddly enough the heart of an arctic fox. Also, he had nothing else to do that day and decided to set off on his journey. He met many helpful creatures along the way, a friendly rabbit, a timid squirrel, and a tiny turtle, all of whom pledged their life to help Dave on his quest. These promises came to fruition quickly as Dave got hungry along the way and needed some snacks. His friendly allies seemed to have second thoughts about their promises at this time

He found his way into an old temple, fending off advances from nature shows, scientists, and an amorous baboon. After a long journey, he gazed at the Golden Thimble, conveniently placed in a spot lit by a small halogen lamp with an extension cord running back into the dark. As he approached, he realized that this part would not be easy, because he had no opposable thumbs with which to hold it. After a brief consideration about whether to request help from the baboon or not, he decided to just eat it and recover the thimble later.

He returned to his home triumphant and with only a small stomachache. He gloated of his heroic exploits over the afternoon and with arrogance told the other animals that they ought to be nice now that he possessed this powerful tool. When he “recovered” the thimble, he noticed that the gold had flaked off it while in his digestive system. It was a fake, though it seems the coating was made of real gold, because Dave died of gold poisoning shortly thereafter. - 9/26/07