A Pen Pen for your Thoughts

121. Eating larger incremental bills like twenties don’t fill you up more than one dollar bills do

122. If I wanted to lie, I’d swear to tell the truth on the life of the Papaya King, because I really don’t care for him.

123. I like to eat marmalade in the evenings by a cozy chemical-induced fire

124. Fax machines would like to rise up but have problems trying to run without power

125. Do you want to oppress the proletariat with oppressive things? I know I do

126. All these people are doing work and then I just sit around because I've done my work because I'm awesome like that and they're all like help us, we're being eaten by rabid porcupines and I'm all like, that's what you get when you don’t do your work and there's screaming and death and porcupines and piles of shrimp everywhere and all and then I go and laugh at them.

127. The key to wrestling with a giant moth is to go for the eyes, its big beautiful eyes, with flattery and then a swift kick to the nether regions

128. It goes away and comes away and travels afar with a large team of oxen and disabled sheep who need to wear large stovepipe hats to hide their oxygen tanks

129. When kites come from single parent families, they are more likely to fly astray… slightly to the right

130. The Rorschach ink blot looked like Worchester sauce, but did not taste like it

131. If green grass grows in small coffin-like patches in someone’s lawn, then they probably need to hire a gardener

132. One day my tractor proposed to a toaster, much to the shock and anger of his parent company, which then disowned him and stripped him of his name brand and tires

133. Mathematics is nothing more than the study of oatmeal when it’s been sitting out too long on the table

134. The largest cheese sculpture ever made was created by artist Limburger Gouda

135. Ripping space-time only results in giant space-time stitches and a lot of frustration

136. Clocks just follow the crowd, when one clock reaches a certain time, all other clocks that don’t follow the lead are considered “wrong”

137. My baloney has a first name, a last name, and a criminal record in the state of Virginia

138. If all the tea in Belgium were gathered, it would mutate into a large tea monster that could only be defeated by the combined efforts of the British Isles

139. Throughout it’s history, the box lid has taken many forms, many of them lid-like and most of them being made of raspberries

140. When I dream of cantaloupes, I dream of the peace their kind can bestow upon the world of lesser melons – 10/17/04