Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Salad Violence
Generation after generation has dealt with the violence and bloodshed inherent in the process of salad making and salad consumption. A slip of the knife here and you could lose a finger, or a misplaced carrot strip in the salad bar there could poke out an eye. They are truly courageous consumers deciding to confront the dangers of salad consumption and preparation at the salad bar, and one cannot forget those dedicated and fearless chefs that are assigned the frightful task of serving a vegetarian banquet. It is a chilling prospect to face. And recently, events in this particular arena have gotten the attention of… well, me, and now you too are ensnared by it‘s leafy web. Ha!
In Florida, an elderly gentleman was picking through lettuce in a salad bar line to find some nice leafy specimens for consumption, when a more elderly gentleman got upset at his picking through the lettuce. The following that ensued, was an event that is seldom spoke of and occurs even less often, an old person fight. In the ruckus, there was biting, falling, “nasty name”-calling, and somehow a cut arm. No one decided to press charges and the brawl will go down into Florida folklore and song. I can hear the songs now, singing about the “Salad Bar of Doom” and the “picky lettuce lord” or the “impatient person who was called a nasty name,” respectively, depending on which version you choose to listen too. However, that is not the only recent event in salad violence.
An Ohio woman was served a salad and took a bite into part of a worker’s thumb. The tip of his thumb was cut off while chopping lettuce, and after searching for the thumb tip unsuccessfully, was taken to the hospital to get the wound taken care of, but the salad was not discarded. Now some of you might be up in arms against the manager for not throwing out the salad, but he’s a busy guy, can he be expected to look after every misplaced thumb tip, finger tip, hair, bug, and possibly poisonous chemicals? Probably. Apparently, the unlucky consumer thought it was gristle and tried to chew it. With such things as this involved in the world of salad, you’d think people would be shying away from it, but that is not the case. Places like Wendy’s, Pizza Hut, and McDonald’s are offering more and more salads.
Perhaps this has to do with a psychological fascination some people have with ruin and pain that is deeply suppressed within their inner psyche by some traumatic event reaching all the way back to their childhood that captured something extraordinary and unique in their otherwise stale and superficial lives. Or, it could be that whole diet craze thing. To understand any subject thoroughly though, one must look at it’s history. So, after a quick search I read through a document about “The History of the American Salad.” It was an exciting read, full of dramatic twists and ingredients and the like. Then one line made everything clear “The great salad revolution began in the sixties and matured in the seventies like so many other American social upheavals.” Hippies. Yes, that’s right, they are the ones responsible for these salad-related atrocities, in part of an incredibly complicated and complex conspiracy that I don’t have time to write about or even fathom. Those fiends. -3/7/04
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