Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Spam Wars
Spam. In the days of old the word would conjure up images of the delightful product. However, in the Internet age we are living in, spam now stands as an emblem for evil as e-mails are bombarded against poor, defenseless internet users. This understandably causes anger in people as their inboxes are filled with penile enlargement plans, breast enlargement plans, mortgages, and any number of other things, as the user must call forth wave upon wave of deletions to hold back the tide as more inevitably come. The number grows and even spam blocking programs are unable to do anything against the overwhelming number of messages from various origins. They are a clever foe, at one point I got a spam e-mail sent to me from myself! I am not kidding, I looked at it, and looked at it again, it was from me!! How evil and deceitful these people are!
In San Francisco, a man has stepped up bravely in the face of the foe and has been struck down. A computer programmer has been arrested for threatening to torture and kill employees of a company who have been mercilessly bombarding his computer with ads concerning penile enlargement. It is one of the first prosecutions of it’s kind, of course, if we knew where to get these filthy people we’d all be doing similar things to these atrocious spam spreaders. Charles Booher threatened to send Anthrax spores and “disable” an employee with a bullet and then torture him until his e-mail address was removed from their system. He used various e-mail addresses including Satan@hell.org. This courageous soldier who has fought bravely against the evil spamming forces will face up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.
With a continuous stream of spam, Booher’s computer was rendered completely useless. The evil mastermind behind these attacks was Douglas Mackay, the president of DM Contact Management, a firm that advertises a penile enlargement product. The President said Booher seemed very dedicated and it went on for a long time. Well, I don’t suppose you have much else to do if you’re a computer programmer and you can’t use your computer. Mackay claimed their company doesn’t send spam but a rival company takes their ads and sends them in bulk e-mails. Sure. A company would risk losing profits by sending another company’s ads as spam just to make people angry at the company? I think not, perhaps they have a deal where they both send the other company’s ads as spam and then are free of blame. It’s sadistic enough to be thought of by these spam spreaders.
The President said that the firm that sends their ads out give “a bad name to the penis enhancement business.” Yes, that alone gives a bad name to such a prestigious and trustworthy industry. Though these spammers seem to have struck down Booher, as a martyr he shall be remembered for his bravery. However, the war has only just begun. Internet users have started bombarding spammers with spam and have hacked into spammers’ computers. They’ve also posted their personal information on the Internet and sent mail and phone calls to the houses of the spam spreaders. The battle wages on and the forces of good seem to be making some progress. A law will soon take effect in California against spam, and one is at work on the federal level, however it will do little to stop foreign companies from sending spam. One can only dream of victory, for it is far away. Do not cower in the face of this adversary, for even if we prevent spam from within our own borders, the foreign spam will come in hordes and fill in the spam power vacuum. -11/23/03
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