Pen Pen's Evangelion
A Pen Pen for your Thoughts
This section will just be for, basically random thoughts and feelings. Since my thought process is mostly random you can probably expect this to be updated frequently. Back to Previous Pennys. Back to Pen Penny.
Wild Speculations
Not too long ago there was a large blackout all over the eastern portion of North America; you may have read a short article about it in the middle of your local paper. Investigators now say that the cause probably started in Ohio. Yes, innocent Ohio. The land of Drew Carey and the Major League movies. For far too long, Ohio has ruled over the weaker states of New York, Michigan, and the country of Canada. The investigators say some power lines failed, but we all know the truth (by all I mean me and a few others of course). New York was talking smack behind Ohio's back, because New York was bitter of the power that Ohio wields. Ohio got word of this through the little tattletale of a state Indiana, and for this Ohio shut off not just New York but many places to demonstrate it's awesome might.
Now, for a moment, let's think absurdly and say that Ohio didn't do it on purpose. Of course, it was not only the United States that suffered the blackout, but Canada. Canada, the land of maple leaves, maple syrup (an assumption), and flags with maple leaves on them. Canada is one of the victims in this… or is it? Yes, it is. Then again, what better way to claim innocence than to supposedly suffer as another victim? It is well known that Canada holds a grudge against the United States, due to Canada being so stupid and such. It just sits there, all inferior-like, it's really kind of sad. They probably have this as some sort of plot to make Canada seem networked and a key part of North America. It could just be part of an insidious and overly complicated plot for a planned invasion and takeover. Part of this plot could be the invasion of actors in Hollywood; by taking over our entertainment industry they will control our way of thinking. Or that's what they probably hope anyways. Of course, they may not think that creatively and just botched a mission to cut the power to parts of the United States. And they just wanted to offer help or look superior because they're electricity was still on.
One recent speculation was that trees caused the original power loss. Yes, trees. Trees! You may be laughing at this prospect, but you really shouldn't. I knew they were up to something. They all called me crazy when I first proposed my theory of a planned plant takeover. I was laughed out of a conspiracy theorist gathering. These are the type of people that think Hitler is still alive and controlling Mexico. But who's laughing now? The trees, that's who. They think they're so great, being tall, and having branches and such. It's not just the trees either, oh no. It's many parts of the plant world. Grasses, flowers, bushes, uhh… grasses; they're all in on it. It's a massive worldwide plot, and this was merely a test of their power to ensure they're control over our entire civilization. Sure, some of you may say, plants don't have a brain, plants can't organize, or I'm a lunatic who hears plants talk to him when he's alone in the woods.
These points are valid and well made, but just look at the evidence. There's this whole blackout thing, and if you're suggesting a tree could just brush up against a line and knock it out without being part of an elaborate plot, well, you should probably, just, not suggest it. Think of all the other instances where plants have enacted their revenge upon us. No, really, I'm serious, get thinking, I need some more instances. They laugh at me, and that makes me sad. Of course, who can overlook the incidents where, in a tree's last moments, it crushes the logger that killed it as an act of vengeance. Yea, I know, revelation must be setting in. The feeling that all along, you've laid in the grass, or climbed a tree, all the time being an easy target for their wrath. Why didn't they strike you ask? My poor, ignorant, plant trusting fool, do you really think they'd strike independent of one another? That would only be for the foolhardy and plants are not foolhardy. They will strike and they will win. -8/20/03
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