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Author's Note: WARNING This is YAOI. As in male-male **sexual** relations. 1x2 fic. I just want this clear before you read. If this sort of material offends you, then don't read it.

More Warnings: 1x2, 3x4, Angst, Sexual Situations, Language,


Authors Note: This story was inspired by Japanese folklore and ghost stories. This doesn’t really have anything to do with ghosts as much as sayings and their meanings linking to Heero and Duo. It’s the first fic I’ve done where Heero and Duo already have a semi relationship developed, but Quatre and Trowa don’t. I like the relationship between the GW-boys, it’s very professional, but you can tell between the fine lines that they do care for the others well-being. All the characters are true to form. There are the elements of mystery and the theories behind Oni’s, and mythical creatures like the Kappa, and Baku. I really liked doing this dark, Japanese, angsty romance.
The lyrics in this fic are from Adema’s song ‘Skin’.

 

Kokoro o oni ni suru
By- j


“Ravage me,” were the soft words Duo devilishly whispered in Heero’s ears. The violet-eyed boy’s hands gripped tightly to Heero’s shoulder. A hungry quirk to his mouth as Heero tugged his fingers through the mass of Duo’s hair. A light laugh darted from Duo’s mouth, his fingers twirling a cherry, red lollipop. Duo streaked the cherry confection against Heero’s neck before licking the sweet, sticky line from Heero’s flesh.

     The mix of the sweet candy, and Heero’s salty skin played beautifully on Duo’s lips before Heero submerged them with an animalistic kiss. Completely seizing Duo’s mouth. The Japanese boy’s hands promptly and thoroughly grasped onto Duo’s waist, dragging down to feel the boy’s narrow hips. Duo pushed back from Heero, popping the candy back in his mouth, letting it curve to the side with his smile. “Damn, you are feisty tonight!” Duo muttered teasingly.

     Heero sucked a breath of air through his teeth, actually seeming pained from Duo pulling away. His rough, fighter hands grasped back to Duo’s waist, trying to tug him back,

“Don’t be coy with me Duo!”

Duo’s grin was seducing, playful. He knew Heero couldn’t resist him. Not on days like this. Not when he was so close.

“Saa! Koibito! You’re so rough!” Duo laughed, popping the lollipop from his mouth.

His lips stained a sweet, red. It was driving Heero insane how Duo seemed to be holding out on him. Heero’s fingers tugged suggestively at Duo’s belt.

Tonight, I’m going to have you.

     The American pilot twisted his arms around Heero’s waist, a playful, toying smile pressed to the soft lips of Heero Yuy’s mouth. Yeah, Heero was in heaven. That was definite. Duo knew just how to push all of his buttons. He knew just what turned him on. And he desired all of Duo. It wasn’t just the moments of passion he enjoyed. He enjoyed Duo as a whole. As a person. And if anything separated him from his bliss, he would tear the world apart. He knew that. And perhaps maybe Duo felt the same. Maybe the braided-baka actually felt just as powerfully for Heero, and he did for Duo.

They’d never said anything to each other. One day on a mission Duo dragged up the courage to approach Heero. Duo kissed him, and expected Heero to actually hurt him! Hurt his prized Death Angel? Yeah right! It was too perfect. From that moment on, whenever Wufei, Trowa or Quatre weren’t looking they’d go at it like wild dogs, and then pretend nothing ever happened. It was always just kissing. Heero and Duo hadn’t ever actually taken it further than that. It was all just child’s play! But tonight. Heero really wanted Duo tonight.

“We can’t-“ Duo informed his partner.

     Duo’s mouth pressed softly to Heero’s ear.

“I- can’t-“ Duo finally finished.

Heero grinded his teeth, his fingers digging into the fabric of Duo’s jeans. He *loved* it when Duo wore jeans and he was now saying that he couldn’t just dive in. It was more than Heero could bear. Heero pulled assertively,

“Duo...”

“No! I mean it, I can’t do this yet. You’ve got to give me some more time, Heero! It’s just a little fast for me,” Duo said the words with a half-smile.

This was the fifth time Heero and Duo had ever gotten together to- well- get intimate. They never talked about it. Never gave loving looks. It was like their relationship was just a dream. Heero’s eyes drifted down to Duo’s necklace. He hadn’t noticed until then, that when they were together, Duo always rubbed his necklace. Rubbing the golden cross. Was he asking for forgiveness? Or did he feel that having sex with Heero would be the ultimate sin? These thoughts quickly drained Heero of his excitement. His hands promptly dropped from Duo’s waist. His eyes, shifting back to being dull.

     With a single move, Heero pushed back Duo, the violet-eyed boy giving him a quizzical look.

“Heero, what’s the matter?” Duo asked.

Heero couldn’t even face Duo; he kept his head down, tucking his shirt back into his pants.

“I remembered I have work to finish,” Heero responded.

Duo raised his hand to touch Heero’s arm, Heero quickly reacted, recoiling away, “Don’t touch me...” Duo’s eyes widened before narrowing their gaze,

“I get it. You’re pissed because I won’t let you fuck me! Dammit Heero! Is that all you want me for?”

Duo moved away from Heero, seating himself on the bed slowly.

“You’re an idiot Duo. You should know I’d never want to force you,”

With that Heero left, pulling the door shut behind him. He could see two girls giggly in the hall, running down away from Heero’s door. There was just no way to keep a secret anymore. This was going to be Heero’s and Duo’s only night alone together. Quatre, Wufei and Trowa would be joining them in the morning for the next mission.

     That stupid, dimwit. He doesn’t get it. It’s not the fact that you tell me you’re not ready. Hell, I would wait a decade. It’s the fact that each time I touch you, I notice you cringe. Each time we embrace for long, you seek your necklace. I never thought of myself with a guy before you. The thought disgusted me. I thought something was horribly wrong, but with you- when I’m with you I feel like the world isn’t even worth a crap compared to you. Your damn idiotic frowns kill me time and time again and your laughter resurrects me.

     Heero turned up the collar of his coat, proceeding down the alleyway. Steam was spurting out from a broken pipeline along the damaged, broken concrete. A full moon gleamed above Heero between the two buildings. The steam desperately trying to rise up to kiss the sky. The humid air stuck to the back of Heero’s throat, as a faint wind softly wept through the cracked of the alleyway. Heero dragged his fingers against the brick wall, dragging them painfully over the rough contrast of the brick.

     Fighting. That’s what made Heero feel, so very tired. So old. The fact that he’d been fighting his entire life. Since birth, he was fighting something.

No everything.

Now he had to fight his own damn feelings. It made him feel so tired. And alone. He’d always been alone, but now, he felt more alone than ever before. He’d tasted what it felt like to need and be needed, or so he thought. What a feeling!

I still can’t get our first kiss out of my head. I’d gotten pretty banged up in the last mission. Duo, you wore a leather jacket, you kept the collar turned up. You had a white bandage on your cheek, and your hair was a mess. You smiled at me.

Fuck, right then I didn’t know what to say. You went on a speech about regretting the things you never do. And being curious about what your life would be like, if you followed those notions.

Lately, you’d been seeing Hilde a lot. I figured, you were asking me for advice on her. I became defensive. Told you this was no time for damn prancing around worried about fickle things like that.

You didn’t drop it. It seemed so important to you. It was one of the few times I got to see the serious side of you. You asked me if you should deny your feelings. I finally gave in and shrugged, telling you to do whatever you wanted. You hesitated; saying nothing, and then quickly darted towards me. I felt your kiss. It was brief; you quickly pulled away, thinking I would attack you.

Such a brainless baka. I grabbed your arm, you protested, saying it was just a joke. I pulled you forward hard and fast. I pulled you until I could feel you breath against me. I ran my fingers through your disheveled hair, pushing my hand on the back of your neck, and pulling you forward to kiss me. That was the only time I ever kissed you, and you didn’t cringe.

“Hey you, I can give you a free psychic reading!” A young voice called to Heero.

     He was instantly snapped form his thoughts. A boy was leaning against one of the walls at the curve. A long scar dragged over the side of his face. His hair was a silvery blonde, pulled back into a ponytail. He motioned for Heero,

“Come-on! I’m offering you a great deal here, help me out!”

Heero briefly regarded the boy before continuing his walk. The boy insisted, grasping out to tug lightly at Heero’s shoulder,

“Look, it’s to help out my mom, okay? She’s really sick. We need every bit we can get.”

Heero growled, flicking off the boys hand, “What makes you think I don’t need my money just as much?” The boy froze for a moment, a puzzled look to his face,

“I don’t doubt it! But the first part is free. If you don’t like it you can go, nothing is lost.”

“My *time* is lost,” Heero quickly added, raising a finger to motion for the boys silence.

“I don’t believe in what you have to offer,” Heero said things very blatantly. The boy quickly grasped Heero’s hand, pressing his other hand to his own forehead. Heero didn’t jerk away, but his irritation was plain to see.

“I see your love life is shaky.”

Understatement of the year...

“You have a dangerous line of work, especially for such a young age,” The boy continued. The boy swallowed, pressing firmly to Heero’s fingers.

“Your life line however- is very short. Your life is in grave danger,” The boy’s voice said unsteadily. Heero’s brows knitted he didn’t know whether to believe the predictions or not.

     There was the faint sound of footsteps, scattering about. Heero quickly turned to see a group of men standing nearby. Their faces were covered with red masks. Their hands gloved in black leather. Heero gritted his teeth, shifting back to glance to the boy. The boy smiled wryly, now with a pistol in his hand, pointing it directly for Heero’s forehead. He pressed the cool metal against Heero’s forehead almost affectionately.

“Yes, I’m afraid that I predict grime things in your future...”

+++

“Morning,” Duo grumbled as he rubbed his face.

     Quatre was seated at the table with Wufei, going over a large, brown map. Trowa remained leaned against the wall, watching from afar. Sometimes Duo almost swore that Trowa could be Heero’s relative. At least Duo could get Heero to speak, even if it was negative most of the time. Trowa however, when he spoke it was short, and almost rare. Quatre lifted his head, his lightly colored hair swaying with the motion. His eyes locked on Duo, a smile turning to his lips.

“Morning Duo, it’s good to see you again. I’m surprised that you didn’t even hear us arrive,” Quatre mused, his eyes bright, almost cheerful.

“I had a long night,” Duo muttered. He rubbed his mouth lightly, keeping his head tipped down as he approached the table. Wufei wore a solemn look to his face, glancing over the map with serious interest. This wasn’t a job to Wufei, this was an art form. Wufei glanced briefly in Duo’s direction,

“Where is Yuy?” “Be damned if I know,” Duo defensively answered.

“It’s not like I know where he is every single minute,” Duo added, lowering down into his seat. He tried to show just as much interest as the others in the mission.

     Quatre leaned forward, pressing the eraser of his pencil against the map.

“This is the Oz military prison camp. According to our orders Tsuba is being held here. This is a ground mission. No Gundam’s! We can’t destroy the facility or draw too much attention. We just have to get Tsuba out of there and on the first shuttle,” Quatre motioned. Wufei snorted, folding his arms,

“Draw too much attention? Any jail-break causes attention.”

“Unless we set it up as a diversion. By the time they realize he’s gone, it will be too late. Don’t you agree Trowa?” Quatre asked, flashing his smile now to Trowa. Trowa actually moved a bit unsteadily before turning his gaze to the floor,

“Hai.”

Duo examined the map more closely, “Hey! Wu-man, I *know* this place. Heero and I had to go there a couple of months ago to investigate the chief officer there. I mean we didn’t get to actually go in the prison containment area, but I know the outside and part of the inside pretty well. Heero knows the rest of it though like the back of his hand! Especially the ventilation system. I could pose as a rookie working there, maybe I’d get access to the prison cells.”

Wufei nodded in agreement, “You might, but they’d do a back ground check.” “Not a problem,” Trowa finally spoke. Amazing three words this time!

“Which still brings us back to Wufei’s question earlier, where is Heero?” Quatre asked. Duo lowered his head.

He walked out after I rejected him.

“Yuy and I agreed to meet last night,” Trowa finally spoke up.

     Duo lifted his gaze. Heero meet with Trowa? What for? Trowa’s long hair practically covered his face; he remained dressed in the shadows. Very much like a vampire fearing the light. He placed a hand to the side of his head, his chilly gaze almost matching Heero’s.

“He did not show up,” Trowa finally continued. Quatre now seemed to look perplexed, “What reason would you and Heero have to meet up?” Trowa didn’t answer Quatre’s question, his eyes focusing to Quatre for the longest time before diverting,

“He’s never late.”

Never? He usually meets up with Trowa?

     Wufei stood from his seat, pointing sharply to Duo,

“You stay here. You know the most about the prison. Quatre is the best tactical advisor. Trowa and I will search for Heero. When was the last time you saw him?” Duo could almost feel his face glow red. What could he say? The last time he saw Heero was in his room while they were making out? That he rejected Heero and caused Yuy to go off and do lord knows what? That’s the part that ate his insides. Where was Heero? What was Heero doing? Duo pushed himself up,

“Wu-man look, I gotta go with you.” Wufei quickly shoved Duo back down into his seat,

“No. Yuy can be found, but nothing can jeopardize the mission starting on time. When we find him we’ll meet with you.”

     Duo hunched over the table. His insides were killing him. The strange thing was that he could sense that something had happened to Heero.

It’s not like a feeling. It’s knowing. Like a six sense. I know Heero’s not just hung over from a drinking spree in some bar. Or that he’s gonna come waltzing through those doors.

     Duo’s jaw stiffened as he heard Wufei and Trowa slam the door shut. Quatre’s fingers brushed over Duo’s elbow, a sympathetic look to his face practically.

“You lied,” Quatre stated.

Duo snappily turned to Quatre. What was Quatre? A psychic now? How did he know? But it wasn’t like Duo lied, Duo never lies. Quatre squeezed more tightly,

“He’s on a confidential mission, isn’t he?” This gave Duo some relief, he sighed heavily, trying to through his best forced smile, “Nah, this time I really don’t know. You know I don’t lie.” He almost wished that Quatre did know of his kissing sprees with Heero. At least he’d be able to pour his soul. Nah, he had to keep it bottled up. Quatre directed Duo’s vision to the map, “Stay focused, does this place look familiar?”

“Yeah, I know the prison was built on top of a graveyard. They believed that in doing this the prisoners would receive more punishment by the spirits of the past seeking vengeance.”

     Quatre smoothed his finger over the outline of the map, “Spirits? Trowa would know more about this.” Duo smiled slightly, “Yeah? I notice you seem to go to him for a lot of things.” Did Quatre blush briefly? He hid it pretty quickly, plastering a stern look to his features, “Pay attention Duo. A successful mission requires lots of focus.”

Focus? Focus. Focus, with my mind wandering around.

Heero, where ever you are-

just be alive...

+++

Sometimes to find who you’re looking for, you have to think like that person. The more you think like them, the easier they are to find. 

“Here,” Trowa blandly managed.

     Wufei stuffed his hands deep into his pockets, wiggling his fingers slightly as he raised a slender, dark brow. They stood at the back of a small Sushi restaurant near a faded blue dumpster. The smell of the rotten fish from the tossed garbage was a sickening smell. Alley cats fought viciously over the scavenged meat. Wufei shook his head,

“Injustice. Disgusting. Utterly disgusting. Why meet back here instead of inside the sushi bar?”

Trowa still wasn’t any more helpful or social on the matter. He stared towards the fighting cats. “Because no one comes here,” Trowa answered. Wufei laughed for a brief second,

“Of course not. If you’re going to make a meeting, make a more professional effort!” Trowa kept a solid stare. Sometimes it seemed like Trowa didn’t connect with the world at all. The most amazing part is that if Trowa and Heero did meet up regularly they must have talked. And thinking of Heero and Trowa kicking back and sharing good times was difficult to picture.

     Trowa dragged out his hand from his pocket, motioning down the alleyway, “Heero arrives from that direction.”

Wufei turned his head to focus to a small, narrow alleyway. One of the steam pipes was wrapped up with a soaked white cloth. It must have burst, or leaked. Wufei motioned for Trowa to follow his steps. He avoided the thick, black, puddles of water that sunk into the broken concrete. The smell of the rotten fish wafting through the alley.

Wufei observed the alleyway intensely, looking for any sign Heero might have left. Wufei studied the brick walls intently as Trowa wandered down another path in the alley. It lead to a dead end, filled with nothing more than bunched up, black trash bags. Broken TV’s, and chairs. Something did catch his eye. The ground here was gravel. Disturbed gravel. It looked like there was a large group of people who had struggled.

Most of all there was a small white stick. A lollipop stick. He grasped it slowly, staring the red end of the lollipop. Small strands of hair were stuck to the lollipop. Chestnut hair. There was a trace of green fuzz. Heero’s shirt. The lollipop must have gotten stuck on his shirt. But the one hair strand was too long to be Heero’s. And the way it waved. Either Heero had met a hooker, or it was Duo’s hair.

     Trowa carefully placed the item in a gum wrapper and stuffed it back in his pocket. Wufei finally caught up to Trowa, tapping the boy’s shoulder in the process,

“I found something, come with me Barton.”

Trowa did as told, Wufei motioned to the wall. Wufei removed a white handkerchief from his pocket, bending over to pick up a small yellow curl of paper from the ground.

“It’s a receipt from the Sushi bar,“ Trowa noted. Wufei nodded slowly, “Is that so? There’s something else over here too.” Wufei lifted up a red mask from one of the puddles,

“What is this?”

Trowa took the mask into his hands, brushing the splatter of mud from the hideous face,

“It’s an Oni mask. The red Oni.”

Trowa moved his fingers over the words painted in black characters,

“Kokoro o oni ni suru. This means to make one’s heart an oni. It’s an old saying for hardening your heart against pity.”

“Oni?” Wufei questioned.

Trowa collected the mask glancing towards Wufei now more seriously,

“The owner of this mask either saw Heero or took him.” Wufei seemed to agree with him without a doubt,

“I found some tire tracks at the end of the alley; it looked like a speed get away. Most likely scenario is Heero ran into a group that beat him and took him. The question is why and where.”

+++

/ Days will come that make no sense /

“I know what you’re thinking Heero. One thing, I didn’t lie to you. I really am psychic. I can see your mind. I know that right about now you’re wondering where you are, and what’s going to be done to you. I can ease your mind right now and tell you that you will not be killed. I’m sorry about that stunt in the alley. I didn’t think you’d know that my gun wasn’t loaded,”

     The boy’s voice rang in Heero’s mind. Heero’s eyes lifting open to focus to the face of the boy. The boy’s silvery, blonde hair was brushing his cheek. Round, dark circles probed under his eyes. He smiled at Heero favorably.

“I’m not a violent person. Not by nature. Why, if you were to ask some of my friends they’d tell you I was quite passive.”

The boy pressed his fingers slowly against Heero’s leg. Heero’s hands and feet were tied down with rope to a large wooden table. If he struggled the most he would accomplish would be getting rope burn. The boy softly patted Heero’s leg, teasing the Japanese pilot with his touch,

“How rude of me, I never told you my name. My name is Baku.” Heero sneered, a slightly snarled smile reaching the boys cold face,

“Baku? The dream eater?”

“Have you something against my name?” Baku sounded almost defensive. He snatched his hand from Heero, clasping hold of an iron wheel near Heero’s hand. “

You see this wheel? There are four of them near each of your limbs. The more I turn this wheel, the tighter your rope bonds become. I will start with your hands first, and then your feet. Twisting until the bone snaps, and then I will only continue until they are severed.”

     Heero seemed empathetic with the threat. He continued to stare towards Baku blankly. What Baku didn’t understand is that this wasn’t the first time he’d been tortured it was becoming a tradition. His own life was of no consequence to him. Especially since his night with Duo. The emotional hurt him far more than rope burns would.

He tossed his head to the side, he no longer wished to look towards Baku.

“Cooperate and nothing will happen to you. Honestly I don’t want anything to happen to you. I happen to like all your limbs attached. In fact I had planned to have a little fun with you.”

The Wing pilot breathed heavily, the room was well lit. The walls were made of metal possibly. They were like the siding of warehouses, with the ridges. The floor was concrete; there was a small drain hole on the concrete. There must have been an underground drainage system that was reachable.

/ My present situation makes me think too much, too much /

“Oni, I have a few questions to ask you,” Baku spoke.

Oni? Why is he calling me, Oni?

“I was informed that you would be meeting with Mai the night was found you. They told us to look for a young man in a green shirt. You fit the bill. Mai is missing as of late, along with Graine, where are they?”

     Heero stiffly faced Baku, he was almost amused. Almost,

“You captured me- because you were told to look for a young man in a green shirt?” Perfect! Heero was captured on account of fitting to someone else’s description. But anyone could have worn a green shirt!

“Don’t play stupid. I don’t like it when people play stupid with me,” Baku threatened, turning the wheel gradually. The grip to Heero’s right wrist tightened. “Baku!” A voice called from the door near by. A young man in a black oni mask stood at the door motioning for Baku, “We found out something you’ll be interested to know,” the boy insisted. Baku growled angrily,

“Can it wait?”

“No, it’s important.” Baku stabbed his finger at Heero’s shoulder, leaning in close enough to lightly breathe over Heero’s face, “I will be back for you. You can count on that.” It was only a few seconds before Baku was gone, he closed the door shut and the soft click of the door locking echoed.

     Heero clenched his teeth, tugging roughly at the rope tied to his left wrist. It hurt. He would only make it tighter with resisting. But he did notice that the wheel rattled when he struggled too much with it.

There was a latch that clamped down with each turn of the wheel. But apparently this one wasn’t as secure as the other clamps. He shook his wrist with furious might, the rope marks tightening on his wrist as his fingers began to shift their color from the strain. The old rope whining desperately. He could feel the rope burning against him, the aching finally piercing him as his fingers began to go numb.

I knew his gun wasn’t loaded. I knew he had a gun from the beginning. I could see the form of it in his pocket. I could have gotten away, so why didn’t I? It wasn’t until they had a hold of me that I even considered escape.

     Heero had managed to kick the mask off one of his attackers; he remembered the face of the girl perfectly. She had short, cropped red hair and a horrified look to her face. His muscles froze right then. She was so young. He couldn’t fight her. He just couldn’t. But the mask was left behind. He hoped Trowa would have come across it. But perhaps his hopes were in vain. Dr. J had always told him to only depend in himself. And he was going to be his own damn savior.

     The clamp shifted. He lifted his wrist up slightly; moving the rope from under the clamp, then gave it a firm jerk forward. The rope quickly spun from off the wheel leaving his arm to move loosely. He began to untie his bonds, finishing with the final tie around his left ankle. Great, he was free now he needed to figure a way out.

There was no monitor. No camera. Wherever he was they were doing things far too primitively. He wasn’t sure if that was because they financially couldn’t afford it, or if it was purposefully done. The window had bars protecting the glass. There was only the drain on the floor and that could barely fit his head much less his body.

     He could already hear the sounds of voices beyond the door. He had to think of something fast. Heero stationed himself beside the door, waiting for whoever would enter. The door opened gradually, allowing Baku entrance into the room. Quickly Heero’s arm flung out, covering Baku’s mouth. With a fast motion he shoved the door closed with his foot before slamming Baku down against the table.

“Fuck!” Baku swore out, feeling Heero press his arm against his neck.

Baku sneered viciously. Heero almost seemed to gain a faint smirk, pressing more firmly, “If you really are half the psychic you claim to be, then why couldn’t you see this coming?” Baku spat at Heero, cracking a wild smile, “What are you going to do? Kill me Oni?” Heero delve his hand deep into Baku’s coat pocket, dragging the gun from it.

“It’s not loaded-“ Baku reminded. “Bakayaro, I wasn’t planning to shoot you. Maybe I should return the hospitality you showed to me? I think you’d like that,” Heero slammed his fist against Baku’s stomach, causing Baku to drive into a fit of coughs.

“-f-fuck you.. oni-“ Baku sputtered out weakly, desperately trying to collect his breath. The Wing pilot tied the ropes to Baku’s wrists and ankles, stepping back to look as Baku struggled. It wouldn’t be long before Baku managed to struggle out of his bonds. “Where the hell do you think you’re going to go? Hm?” Baku laughed, shaking his head. “You don’t have a damn clue where you are!” Baku chuckled.

     Heero reached for the door, giving Baku a single glance. Baku laughed loudly, “Don’t think we can’t find you! Or that damned little boy toy of yours!”

Boy Toy? Duo?

     Heero tightening his fist against the icy metal handle, “I gave you mercy. Should I find that anything was done to him, I won't show a shred of mercy for your life.” Baku continued to laugh, his smile sadistic and wafting. “Face faith, face fact. ‘Oni no me nimo namida’. Even the hardened heart of an Oni can be moved.” If Heero curled his lip to the comment, Baku certainly couldn’t see it. Heero was already out the door.

_________________________

Author's note: Oi. I guess i should explain the title of this fanfic. The title Kokoro o oni ni suru translates, "To make ones heart an oni" it's a Japanese expression that basically means to harden your heart against pity. And to be an effective solider you're usually trained to harden against pity. So I felt the old Japanese saying fit perfectly for Heero in this instance. -_-;; I hope this story is okay thus far.

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