By: Mair

Archive: Hell yes! Lemme know who you are so I can praise you!
Genre: uh... serious.
Warnings: Angst. Sap at the end.
Pairings: 1+2, 1x2, 3+4/4+3
Rating: Yaoi. Lime.
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing isn't mine! I just play with it for fun! Really!

My mission has always been to study the facts, analyze, follow orders and take care of business. Emotion is something that should never enter into the equation because it throws off judgment. Emotion doesn’t let you reason anything out and let you come to a decision. That’s what Dr. J told me. So why in the hell did my emotions decide to surface? Two words. Duo Maxwell.

Every time I turn around he’s telling me to loosen up, to have a little fun, to turn my damn laptop off. He talks constantly. The first emotion to surface was annoyance. He was annoying. Always talking. When we first met it was about my injuries and my gundam. When we teamed up, and since the other three have teamed up with us, it’s been him telling me to have a little fun. Usually this comment pops up when we are at one of the boarding schools with all the rich students of earth. No one on Earth’s boarding schools is from the colonies. Funny how I have gotten the most intensive schooling there as opposed to the colonies boarding schools. The one exception being Dr. J’s school of Assassination and Infiltration. But I digress. Quite the annoying habit I’ve developed. That must be his fault as well.

The year is AC. 197, to be more precise, 12 minutes until AC. 198. The White Fang has been eliminated. The galaxy is at peace for the most part. There is peace everywhere but in the one place there should be peace, my heart. And it’s all Duos’ fault. All through this war he has tried to draw me out of my shell. He knows he has succeeded a little. But he doesn’t know that the little I let him see is just the tip of the iceberg. Relena started it. She poked her nose in and I didn’t kill her when I should have. She got under my guard. Then Duo shattered it. That little crack that she started gave Duo purchase enough to tear down my walls. If it wasn’t part of my training to hide what I truly perceived, like regulating body temperature and vital signs, Duo might actually know what I feel now. Relena is a good friend, but she doesn’t know everything. She knows this and accepts it, just as she accepts being the leader of the Earth Sphere Alliance or what ever she is calling her regime. I really don’t care.

“Heero, quit sulking. The war is over and it’s almost New Years!”

Just like him to interrupt my internal ramblings. I look up at the braided figure in front of me. Duo is dressed in a slightly classier version of his usual dress code. Priests collar, check. Long sleeves down instead of rolled up, shirt cut long and tailored to his slender frame, check. His dark pants fit closer to his legs than normal tonight. Looks almost like a dark version of a Cinq kingdom uniform but less stuffy looking. Duh, answer back with something Heero, before he actually asks you a question you don’t want to answer right away.

“I am well aware of the fact Duo.”

“Yeah right. You haven’t even had anything to drink! You’ve just been standing over here, in the corner, watching everyone.” Duo challenged, crossing his arms across his chest. He shifted his weight and started talking with his hands as he continued speaking. “Relena is actually here and leaving you alone for once, Quatre and Trowa have actually played a song for us all, Hilde and I spiked the punch, Wufei has been drinking punch like water and is now off somewhere singing… And you stand here not talking to anyone, sipping your coffee occasionally. What’s the matter with you?”

Inwardly, I wince. I’m happy that he noticed my actions, or lack there of, but I’m nervous as hell. I know that he and Hilde aren’t an “item” but more like brother and sister, which is advantageous for my plan but still… “Nothing is the matter Duo.” I say and take a sip of my coffee. Ugh, luke-warm. I make a slight face.

Duo watches me, surprised. “Do I detect a change in expression? Heero Yuy actually made a … a face? At coffee? And it wasn’t the glare of death?”

I brace myself for the inevitable.

Duo snatches the coffee mug out of my hand and peers at the contents before taking a sip himself. He makes a face. “Huh, aside from being cold I don’t see anything wrong with it. No drugs or alcohol to make Mr. Perfect Soldier act any differently…” He looks back at me and grins. “Hey everybody! Heero actually made a face at something! He is starting to show emotion!” He declares loudly as he throws an arm about my shoulders.

I stiffen at his touch, fighting the urge to give into an old impulse. I’m still not a person for public displays of emotion or a person to be the center of attention, unlike Duo. If it were only we two in the room I probably wouldn’t be fighting the urge to push his arm off. If it were only we in the room I would probably put my arm around him and bring him close. I just wish I knew how he would react to that.

He seems to sense that I’m uncomfortable with everyone looking at us and laughing, he removes his arm. He doesn’t, however, completely let me go. Instead he pulls me into the room by my hand, setting my coffee down on a table. “Come on Heero, it’s not every year you get to spend New Years in a mansion on Earth with friends!”

Quatre smiles at Duo’s antics. “The fire works will go off at midnight so you might want to get your choice spot on the balcony.” He said as the door opened from the main part of the house.

“Master Quatre, Ms. Noin and Ms. Blume are here.” A non-descript man said from the door. The man moved aside to admit the announced women in.

Everyone paused in their conversations to greet the late comers. “Ms. Noin! Catherine! Please come in, it’s wonderful to see you!”

Noin entered first, smiling hesitantly. “Thank you for the invitation Quatre. It was very kind of you.”

Quatre didn’t quite know what to say to this. “I’m glad you could make it. I was hoping you could…”

Duo waved happily at Noin and Catherine, releasing me, and bounded over toward them. He greeted them enthusiastically, beating Trowa to Catherine and Noin’s side.

I smiled faintly and walked the rest of the way through the room, avoiding miscellaneous feet as I walked toward the balcony. The night air was cold on my skin; I hadn’t realized how warm it had been inside. A soft clicking noise came from my shoes as they tapped against the stone that made up the balcony floor. The sounds of greeting and the party faded as I leaned on the balcony railing. I needed to gather my courage. There was an old custom that on New Years one kissed someone that one wanted a chance with in the coming New Year. You didn’t have to be serious about it. It was just a custom. An American one at that. Through my research, I had discovered that this tradition was still in practice in some places, though I doubted that any here would be thinking or remembering this custom when the New Year finally arrived in three minutes. Anyone but me, that is.

However, my heart was hoping that a certain American would remember the custom and realize why I was doing what I planed to do.

“Getting your spot early eh Heero?”

I shrugged as Duo joined me outside.

“Did you even greet Noin and Catherine when they came in?” He asked exasperatedly.

I remained silent and closed my eyes. Gathering my courage. Duo was watching me I could feel it. I opened them.

“You didn’t. Jeez Heero, Catherine even helped you live after you self-destructed! You could have at least said hello.”

Mild twinges of guilt nibbled the edges of my emotions. Catherine knew I was grateful to her and Trowa for that. They also knew I would probably never say thank you. They would live if I didn’t greet them right away. “I was going to wait to give my greeting until after Trowa had had the chance to greet his sister.” I answered calmly.

Duo leaned on the railing, watching me. After a minute he sighed and looked back at the party.

I knew they would still be giving greetings and catching up on news. I didn’t bother turning around to follow his gaze. Instead I stared out at the horizon, hoping Duo would stay out here with me. Then my eyes caught a glimpse of movement. “Midnight.”

Duo looked back at me, curious, as a red and gold light lit up the sky with a loud crack. He looked out at the red and gold shimmering ball of light in the sky and stared. A smile spread across his face. “Happy New Year Everybody!” He yelled.

The party moved out on the balcony as the fireworks lit up the night sky in celebration of the New Year. Oooh’s and Ahhh’s echoed throughout the gathering as we all watched. Quatre really did have a nice spot here for watching fireworks. I just wished that it were just Duo and I watching them. No offense to the rest of them…

As the finale went off people clapped appreciatively, Duo whistled. I smiled openly at him, too bad it was too dark for anyone to see.

People started to go back inside as the sparkles faded into obscurity. The beauty of the moment in their minds, gone. I continued to look out to where the last firework went off, slowly straightening. Duo hopped up on the edge of the balcony, sighing happily.

“Some show huh.”

“Yes it was.” Out of the corner of my eye, I gave a quick glance about the balcony to check who was still out. Just the two of us. “Happy New Year Duo.” I said quietly.

Duo blinked in surprise. I could practically feel it even if I couldn’t see him very well. “Happy New Year…” he replied.

I looked over at him. Here goes nothing. “There is an old custom… I don’t remember where I first heard of it… but…” I paused. I’m screwing this up I know. Just do what you want to do Heero. Hesitation accomplishes nothing. Hesitation leads to failure.

“What old custom?” Duo asked.

For the first time I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. This surprised the hell out of me. His voice clued me into nothing. I hesitated a moment longer. Then I kissed him. I leaned over and I kissed him. Ever since this braided individual known as Duo Maxwell had broken his way through my walls and into me I had wanted to do this. I owed him this, I wanted this, I felt this was the most important thing I could do now that the war was over. I knew this could make me complete. It was just about enough to make me smile in spite of what I was doing.

He pulled away and slid off of the balcony railing. I opened the eyes I was unaware that I had shut in the first place. His hand had come up to cover his mouth. He looked… startled?

“Duo...?” This was not what I expected.

“No…” His hand left his mouth and dropped to his cross.

Funny, I had never seen him go particularly religious before. He who called himself death didn’t have a religion but the one he had created. I had thought. “Duo?”

“NO!” He half shouted. “This shouldn’t have happened Heero…” He said in a quieter tone, backing away even more. Then he turned and almost ran back inside.

I was stunned. My ears barely recognized the fact that the sound dimmed inside, briefly when Duo said that last “No”. I watched him go back inside and all I could think was that this was not the way it was supposed to be.

* * *

Duo didn’t speak to me any more that night. I was miserable, but of course, I didn’t show it. I was not trained to show emotion. I was supposed to be emotionless. The Perfect Soldier. Yeah right. I guess old habits die hard. I left the party at about 1 and went to my room. Quatre had been putting me up for the past few months. He said I could stay as long as I wanted but somehow I didn’t think I could spend much more time there. As a matter of fact, I really wanted to leave. I grabbed my things and shoved them into a duffel bag. I didn’t care if they got wrinkled, I just had to get out.

My laptop was sitting on the desk, near the window. I sat down at the chair in front of the glowing screen. A few minutes later I had called a taxi. The taxi company’s records sufficiently altered to take me to the space port and not think I owed them anything. Quite an expensive trip for free. A couple minutes after that I had a passage booked to take me back to L1.

I looked at the clock. It would take the taxi another 25 minutes, at least, to get here. What could I do to keep myself from breaking down? Write a letter. You probably moved too fast for him Yuy. I closed my eyes. A letter. Why not? What in the hell would I say?

My fingers started typing. Fifteen minutes later I opened my eyes and looked at what was there on the screen. It explained everything. Who meant what to me, why I felt the way I did, why I did what I did. Slowly, my finger lowered to the print key. I pressed it. Out of the top of the screen two pages slowly exited. The thermal paper was still a little warm. I folded the two pages together in a tri-fold. On the top I wrote Duo’s name with a pen I hadn’t used in a long time. Not since I was last in school anyway. Last in school with Duo…

I slowly closed the laptop. A small click greeted my ears. I unplugged the chord in back and then unplugged the other end of the chord from the wall. I rolled up the chord and picked up the laptop. I walked over to the duffel and put both on top of my clothing.

This was silly. Why should I suddenly leave? I was happy staying here with my friends. Trowa, Wufei and Quatre were all practically family. It wasn’t like Duo was staying here. After all he stayed with Howard and Hilde, doing salvage work.

This was the place I was rejected by the one person I had let myself love. That’s why I couldn’t stay. This was ridiculous. Arg! Emotion serves no purpose! I zipped up the duffel and shouldered it and jerked open the door to my room. I closed the door softly and strode down the hall. The letter for Duo lay in the middle of the now empty desk in the now empty room.

* * *

Duo walked down the stairs slowly. It was about 11 o’clock in the morning and he was hoping he wouldn’t run into Heero. Heero. Heero was his best friend, aside from Hilde… Why did he have to go and do a thing like that? He remembered Father Maxwell showing him the bible, reading to him. Love was good, love was something that should be given in everything… But not in… Arg. Loving Heero was wrong. That’s what the bible had said, or at least the kind of love Heero felt the need to express. When is love ever wrong? Isn’t God love? Isn’t everything made in his image?

He stepped down off of the last step and walked toward the kitchen. Dragging his feet. He should be happy that Heero finally started showing some emotion for once.

“’Morning Duo! Happy New Year.” Catherine said as she walked past him.

“Ung…” He managed to get out.

Catherine looked back over her shoulder at the shuffling downcast figure. “Drink a little much last night Duo?” she asked in a quieter voice.

“Huh?” Duo asked, picking his head up a little. “Oh, uh, no. I didn’t. I just… have a lot on my mind. And no caffeine in my system.” He answered, smiling slightly.

“Oh, well I think Trowa made a fresh pot of coffee…” She said cheerfully.

“Oh, thanks… See you…” He said and walked off down the hall once more.

Duo’s mind replayed the kiss from the previous night, arg, morning… in full detail. It had felt right to him but his mind screamed that it was wrong. He entered the kitchen and dropped down into one of the chairs at the table.

One of Quatre’s servants placed a plate of eggs, toast, bacon and sausage in front of him. Then a coffee cup. Then a piece of paper with his name scrawled on it.

Duo ignored the note, digging into the food in front of him. He paused, picked up the coffee mug and took a sip of coffee. When he set the mug down he realized it was one that looked exactly like the one Heero had been drinking out of the night before. Heero…

A groan from across the table interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see Wufei with his head down on the table.

“Hey Wu-man.”

Another groan answered Duo’s greeting. “Don’t. Call. Me. Wu-man. You murderous villain. You were the one who spiked the punch weren’t you.”

Duo smiled. “Well actually it was Hilde and me…” He ate some more eggs as Wufei groaned again.

“Shut up Maxwell.”

Duo shrugged, his eyes trailing back to the note. He had a feeling that it was from Heero. He didn’t want to read it if it was. Why couldn’t Heero have just left things the way they had been? They had been good friends… Best friends really.

“You are quiet.”

Duo looked up at Wufei, who was now peering over at him. “Huh?”

“You have never given up on anything that quickly and you didn’t say my name as loudly as you usually do… Why are you so quiet?”

“You told me to shut up and now you are complaining that I’m quiet? Jeez! Nothing is wrong ok!” Duo yelled practically jumping to his feet, the note now clutched in his hand.

Wufei stared at him. “Did I say anything was wrong?”

Duo made an exasperated noise, turned and walked toward the back door.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Duo froze. Slowly he looked back over his shoulder at Wufei.

Wufei blinked and frowned. He couldn’t believe he just asked that. Of Duo Maxwell. It was his fault he had the headache in the first place and here he was asking if Duo needed any help.

Slowly, Duo reigned in his emotions. “I don’t think you can help me with this, Wufei.”

Somehow Wufei managed a hung over version of a skeptical look. “Maxwell. What is wrong? What concerns one of us, concerns all of us.”

“Aren’t you talkative this morning.”

“Is it something to do with the note Duo?”

His hand tightened on the now mangled note at his side. “It’s my problem Wufei. I have to figure it out.” He said, his voice almost deadpan. He tried to scrap together something of his usual nature. “Don’t worry about it.” He said with a smile. He turned, opened the door and walked out into the kitchen garden, leaving a quiet Wufei behind.

* * *

Duo closed his eyes, leaning back against the tree. He had finally finished the note. He hadn’t wanted to read it, but out of respect for his and Heero’s friendship, he had. Slowly he refolded the note and smoothed it against his leg. He folded it in half and stuck it inside his pants pocket. He pulled his knees up and hugged them against his chest, losing his balance momentarily as he did so. He steadied himself on the branch with one hand, then brought it up to join the other.

He glanced up at the noonday sun, speculating it was around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. So far, he had successfully avoided Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and Heero. He was much more thankful for managing to avoid the last one. He didn’t know if he was supposed to be more confused or less confused after reading the letter. One thing was for sure, he was just as confused as when he walked away from Heero when they were on the balcony.

He fiddled with the cross at his neck, turning it and twining it through his fingers. Heero was his best friend. His truest friend. He had practically used Heero as a confessional, telling him everything he felt about everything. He had always been honest. Or had he? He just didn’t know. He wished that Father Maxwell or Sister Helen were around for him to talk to. Either one of them would do, he just had to talk to someone. Someone whom he knew wouldn’t judge him…

“… And now you know everything. Everything I never had the ability to voice. I love you, Heero.”

Duo started as he heard the last lines of Heero’s letter read aloud. “Wha…” He gropped at his pocket, searching frantically for the note.

Wufei looked up at Duo from where he stood on the ground below, holding the letter. “Looking for this?” He twitched the sheets of paper in Duo’s direction. “Hey! Give me that!” Duo demanded as he fell out of the tree. “What… How much did you read?” He asked, struggling up to his feet.

“The whole thing.” Wufei replied, holding the letter away from Duo. “Sit.”

“Give that back!”

“Not until you sit down and stay there.”

Duo shot a glare at him worthy of Heero. When Wufei didn’t flinch, he sat down on the tree roots, still glaring.

“That’s better. Now, what’s your problem?”

“Give it back.”

“No. What is your problem.”

“You’re right, it is MY problem. Not yours. Give it back.”

“Heero is gone.”

“What?” The anger in Duo over the letter faded somewhat at Wufei’s words.

“He left.”

“I heard that part. What do you mean he left?”

Wufei fought the urge to sigh. “He is gone Duo. He left sometime after he left the party. No one knows where he went. The only note he left was to you.”

Duo blinked, digesting this bit of information. Suddenly he felt almost… hollow… sad.

“So what is your problem?”

“I…” Pull your self together Duo… You were the one asking for someone to talk to… You all but asked God for someone to talk to about this so TALK! “I…”

Wufei watched Duo’s anger evaporate. “Do you even know how you feel about Heero?”

Duo’s attension snapped back to Wufei. “No…” He sighed. “Wufei, you know he is my best friend… I haven’t ever even considered anything like this.”

Wufei’s face showed almost nothing. “Oh?” He sat down on the grass across from Duo. “Duo, something tells me that you may not have thought about sex or an actual “relationship” but you have thought about him.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t… have the words to explain but… You and Hilde. She is a very good friend right?”

Duo gave him a suspicious look. “Yeah… so?”

“Who are you closer to? Hilde or the rest of the Gundam pilots?”

Duo thought a moment. “The rest of you.”

He nodded. “Hilde is a good friend right?”

“Yes. One of my best friends.”

“You just said the rest of us were closer than even she was.”

Duo blinked. “I… That’s different.”

“How?”

“Well… Hilde is a girl.”

“So is Relena.”

“She’s… Ok, you’ve got me there. So?”

“So Hilde is one of your friends, the rest of us pilots are your best friends, your family perhaps. So what does that make Heero, the closest one to you of us all?”

Duo was silent. “It… it isn’t right.” He said quietly.

Wufei was surprised. “What isn’t right?”

“I just can’t ok? It isn’t right and I have to do what is right.”

Wufei stared as Duo began to finger his cross again. He got to his feet and held the letter out to Duo. When Duo didn’t take it he spoke up. “Here.”

He looked up and saw the letter held out to him, once more folded in its original folds. He reached out and took it but Wufei didn’t let go right away. “I believe that you must talk with Heero. For the sake of justice. He told you everything, now you must do the same. You must meet him knowing what your feelings are and you must know that they are true. I will let you go with being confused but he will not. It would not do either one of you justice when one of you is unsure or false in heart.” He let the letter go and walked off.

Duo watched him leave then looked down at the letter. “What do I do now?”

* * *

I reached L1 too soon. When I arrived I realized I had no where to go that I wanted to go to. I didn’t have any money and I was reluctant to hack into some place. I don’t know why. I half expected Duo to come up behind me and get me moving, but he didn’t. He wasn’t there. L1 was no longer home. I couldn’t stay here.

I walked over to a space port computer terminal and hooked up my laptop. After a few minutes I had a place to stay for the next couple of days before my newly scheduled departure to L7. I had never been there. I wondered if it looked any different. It probably wouldn’t.

I reached up to shut the laptop and paused. I never said goodbye to the others. I wondered if I should give them a message apologizing for my abrupt departure. I decided against it. If Duo had a problem with me then surely the others would when Duo told them. Duo never could keep his mouth shut. No reason he should start now. Absently I hoped my note at least cleared things up so he didn’t hate me now. I don’t think I would be able to stand that somehow.

The laptop closed with a soft click. I packed everything back up and walked out of the spaceport toward my new destination.

* * *

“Why hasn’t there been any word? I figured he would at least let us all know where he was staying…”

“Quatre, you know what his reasoning must be for this.”

“But Trowa… How could he think that of us? That we would turn against him just because of some imagined imperfection? I mean, that would be fairly hypocritical of us.” Quatre replied.

“He had no way of knowing about us. We didn’t exactly advertise.”

“But…”

“Any word?” Duo asked poking his head into Quatre’s study.

“Sorry Duo. Are you sure he didn’t give any clues in his note?” Quatre asked, leaning forward onto the desk.

Duo blushed slightly, though he seemed unaware that he did so. “He didn’t say anything.”

“What did he say anyway Duo?” Trowa asked quietly.

Duo stared a moment, wondering if Wufei actually said anything to these two. “Not much…”

Quatre blinked. “Really?” He sighed, wishing that Duo would get over his inhibitions. He just knew that Duo and Heero would be much happier when he did.

“Really.” He ducked out of the doorway as fast as he could and walked quickly down the hallway. Who are you kidding Duo Maxwell. They know. They are just respecting your privacy. Unlike Mr. I-won’t-talk-to-you-Chang-Wufei. He paused outside of Heero’s old room. He knew Heero didn’t leave any clues in there as to where he was going. But why did he go? Maybe he couldn’t stand being rejected by you so he left “I love you…” He said that to you. Maybe Wufei is right.

Duo frowned to himself as he started walking again. He knew one thing for sure. To find out if anyone was right he was going to have to find Heero.

* * *

Heero would probably be proud of him. He had scoured the net for the past week looking for him and had finally run into some accounting that didn’t fit.

There was a taxi service with an imbalance, a shuttle company with an imbalance for a flight to L1 and then a small hotel with an imbalance on L1.

“Duo, get off of that thing now.” Wufei demanded, shutting off the screen.

“Hey!”

“You aren’t going to be able to find him if you don’t eat anything or sleep regularly.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I? Get off. You are to go and eat something and then go to bed. Can you even remember when you last slept?”

“You are wrong Wufei… I found him. Or at least I’m pretty sure I did.” He said, tiredly, as he turned the screen back on and leaned back in the chair.

“You what?”

Duo smiled. It was the first real smile he had done in the past two weeks since New Years. “I found an imbalance on several accounts starting two weeks ago, the most recent being when Heero could have realistically managed to get to L1. Of course, I doubt he is still in the same place but that is why I have to keep checking things.” He said, smothering a yawn. “I’m not as good at this as Heero is but I can still do it.” He stretched; his back and shoulder blades popping.

Wufei continued staring. “So when did you last sleep?”

Duo blinked. His gaze wandered up to study the ceiling. “A day or so ago… I think.”

“So what day is it?” asked Trowa from the doorway.

Duo peered over at him. “It’s Saturday.” He looked over at the clock. “I take that back. Sunday.”

Wufei switched off the screen again. “You are right but you are going to bed now.”

“But I…”

“It can wait, Duo.” Trowa said walking over to the desk.

Duo sighed melodramatically. “You all are being way too parentally…”

Trowa and Wufei exchanged looks. Trowa nodded and grabbed one of Duo’s arms as Wufei grabbed the other.

“Hey! Leggo!” Duo yelled as he was hoisted unceremoniously out of the chair. “Hey! Watch the hair! Ow! Put me down!”

They dragged him out of the office, down the hall, up the stairs and down the other hall to his room. They paused outside Duo’s room long enough to open the door. They carried him in and pushed him forward onto his bed. Wufei grabbed some pajamas and threw them at Duo.

“What’s going on?” Quatre asked sleepily from the doorway.

“He hasn’t slept in about two day’s. He was searching for Heero.” was Trowa’s reply.

“Oh…” he said as he watched Duo slowly unbutton his shirt. “Duo, we all know you love Heero but searches take a long time when you do them by yourself. How come you didn’t ask one of us to help you?”

“But I…” Duo blinked. “What did you say?” “Now you’ve stuck your foot in it, love. Go back to bed and let us handle this.” Trowa said bemusedly.

Quatre, flushing red, nodded and padded off out of view.

“You told them!?” Duo shouted incredulously at Wufei.

“Actually they already seemed to know.” He replied. “Oh they didn’t know about the kiss part… But they could tell some of the other stuff.”

“BUT…”

“Duo. Hush.” Trowa interrupted.

Duo looked like he would go on for a minute then decided against it. His mind slowly working he looked back at Trowa. “Did you call him “love”?” He pointed at the recently vacated door that Quatre had been standing in.

Trowa nodded.

Duo gaped at him for a moment then smacked his forehead. “That makes so much sense now!”

Wufei started to snicker.

Duo looked over at him. “You knew that too didn’t you?”

Wufei started to laugh and Trowa joined him.

* * *

I had arrived on L7 two weeks ago. I got into a school there and was finally starting to settle in. Getting back into school was really wearing on me. I was so used to Duo being there in the same dorm room as I. That first week I could hardly sleep. Duo wasn’t there, based on his reaction, he never would be again either. Why did I have to go and ruin everything? I could have continued on as I had before. I should have made an effort to find out exactly how strongly Duo felt before I laid everything out. It’s too late now though. I took my seat in homeroom, preparing to be bored. Nothing that had been discussed had been even remotely challenging so far. And these private schools were supposed to be advanced. That was Relena’s reasoning for going to them for so long anyway.

Relena… I wouldn’t mind seeing her here. She would be a familiar face at least, even if she wasn’t the person I truly wished to see. She was the only one who knew where I was. She was the one person, aside from Duo, that I told everything to. She actually accepts this. Which surprises me for some reason. I wish…

“Attention class… Hiro Yushi? Please come down here.”

Huh? What is the teacher calling me for? I got to my feet and started to walk down the steps toward the front of the room.

“Hiro? Bring your things, I am told you will not be returning to class today.”

What? As I grab my books I wonder how in the hell my hacking was detected. That was the only thing it could be. As I walked to the front of the room I pondered escape plans.

“Hiro, the chancellor would like to speak with you. I believe he mentioned something about a possible roommate.” The teacher told me as I reached the front of the class.

I relaxed infinitesimally. That is a much better occurrence than the one I was thinking I had to face. I made my bow and left the room. As I walked to the chancellor’s office I wondered why I would be given a roommate. I wasn’t a dorm head.

As I reached the chancellor’s office, I rang the door chime. The door opened after a moment and the chancellor rose from his desk. As she came around the side of her desk she spoke, “Ahh, Hiro Yushi… It is good to see you again. How are you fitting in?”

I shrugged.

The Chancellor’s smile faded slightly at my lack of audible response. “Well that’s good… Ahh, well… yes… I was wondering if you would be willing to share your room with a new student we just received. I figured that since you both were new that maybe you could help one another adjust to life here.”

I didn’t really care. It would be odd sharing a room with someone other than Duo but at least it wouldn’t be silent in there anymore. I nodded.

The Chancellor brightened immediately. “Oh good! I was hoping you would agree!” She took a step back toward her desk and gestured to one of the chairs. A previously hidden figure rose from the large, high-backed chair. “Duo Maxwell, meet you’re new roommate, Hiro Yushi.”

I was floored. Floored is the only way I can explain it. I know the surprise showed on my face but I didn’t care. The one person, based on previous actions in the last encounter, I didn’t expect to see was standing here in front of me. Quickly, I attempted to form my thoughts back into a somewhat rational order. I bowed shortly. “It is nice to meet you.”

The Chancellor seemed a little puzzled at my actions but let them pass. “As you’re instructor may have informed you, you are excused from lessons today. You have been doing exemplary work in all of your classes so I felt that showing a new student around the school would be no great burden on your education.”

I nodded respectfully.

“You two are excused. Duo, you will have the same classes as Hiro Yushi. You both have equal grade standing on your transcript so this will make things easier for your teachers.”

“Thank you Chancellor.” Duo said, smiling.

I turned and walked to the door, not bothering to see if Duo was following. I guided him along the hall to the dorms in silence. I didn’t know what to say. Once inside the dorm, I guided him to our room. In silence.

I opened the door and motioned for him to enter first. He was puzzled by my silence. I hope he realized why I couldn’t speak in the halls. But then again, how could he when I didn’t entirely know myself? I shut the door with a click and slowly turned to look at him.

“Heero?”

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

He sat down on one of the beds. Mine. I think I could live with switching. If I had to. “I… I’m not sure.”

Damn. The memory of the pain I felt that night on Quatre’s balcony came stinging back. Not like it had gone away but I had at least managed to get it out of my mind during the daytime at least. I sat down on the other bed.

Duo took a deep breath. “Heero… You have been my best friend from almost the very beginning. Now I know why you did what you did, but I don’t quite know how I… how… Shit. Heero, nothing is going to be the same. That’s good and weird. When you kissed me, I liked it. I also remembered reading the bible back at the orphanage. To be honest, I never thought of us in a sexual way. But things were brought to my attention that perhaps we had been more than best friend’s for a while and we just hadn’t known that. It was also brought to my attention that no one we know would ever think of treating us any differently than they had been. I thought they would. I did. I… I know I’m not really making any sense…”

I waited, slowly letting out my breath and taking more air in.

“I wanted to talk to Father Maxwell or Sister Helen. But… on the way here, after being talked to by Wufei, Trowa and Quatre for three weeks on the subject, I had a dream. They told me that all I had to do was love. God is love and he would never deny anyone the chance to be loved or to love.”

I realized I had stopped breathing again and I concentrated on getting that started back up again.

Duo had the end of his braid in his hands and he was toying with the end as he spoke. “I believe that Heero… I always have. But when they said that in the dream, after the others had been more or less telling me the same thing, well that and that I love you, I had to believe it.”

Did I hear what I think I just heard? Rewind. Play. I love you? Oh. My… breathe Heero breathe.

“I guess… I guess what I’m doing here is I’m coming here… I’ve come here, to say I’m sorry. I know I meant it at the time but I don’t now, and I’m sorry.”

Duo. “Duo…”

He looked up at the sound of his name. His amethyst eyes caught mine. He was serious. Not that I really thought he would really be anything else but… “Duo… You don’t have to apologize. I should have just said what I was too scared to say.”

He looked surprised now. “Heero… You… you just admitted something scared you.” I blinked, my turn to be surprised.

He had a small smile on his face now. “Do you forgive me?”

“You haven’t done anything wrong!”

“I’ll take that as my apology being accepted.”

“Duo…”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you really come? You could have sent all this in an email…”

Duo’s small smile grew slightly and also became slightly embarrassed. “Well… I guess… I guess it’s because Wufei and Quatre are right… I… do love you.”

If I hadn’t been surprised enough by having him transfer here after finding me, I certainly was now, even though I suspected it. There is a difference between having an emotion and having an emotion reciprocated. Maybe emotions do serve a purpose. I can certainly believe that now. Duo loves me. He said so. Death doesn’t tell lies.

My mind had barely enough time to register all of this before Duo was inches away from my face. It looked like he was going to kiss me. I decided that if he wasn’t going to kiss me I was going to kiss him.

Our lips met and liquid fire flowed. Slowly I became aware that I was on my back on the bed that was to be Duo’s. Duo was lying on top of me and we were still kissing. I held onto him and shifted on the bed, lying full length and holding him on top of me. I relaxed my hold on him slightly, one hand traveling to caress the back of his head. I felt the bumps of his braid, the softness of the strands of his hair, the firmness of his body that told me that this wasn’t one of my wet dreams but real.

Our mouths opened at the same time, tongues meeting and dancing around one another. Once we came up for air I had memorized every square inch of his mouth, inside and out. Things only got better from there.

As the lunch bell signaled the release for the students, so it also signaled our release. Our sweaty bodies lay entwined on the bed, me still inside him. His hair, now loose, forms a chestnut blanket beneath us. I shift and pull out causing tremors to run through both of us. If anyone had told me this would happen today I probably would have glared and turned on my heel.

He shifted closer to me, arms encircling me. He is my love and I am his. I watch as he drifts off to sleep, his face more relaxed than I’ve ever seen it. I could stare at him forever. It’s not like I hadn’t since I met him anyway… I just hadn’t noticed it at first and neither did he. A bit of his hair falls across his face, marring my view. Slowly I reach out and fix it, pushing it back to be with the rest of his hair. My fingertips caress the side of his face in a way I always hoped I could.

Slowly a flashing red light catches my eye. It’s annoying, winking at me out of the corner of my eye. I drag my eyes away from the face of my Duo Maxwell. My laptop.

Careful not to disturb him, I get up and flip up the screen. On it is an email message. It’s from Quatre and Trowa. My eyes widen as I read. They tell me a little about what Duo and I didn’t know but perhaps deep down saw and recognized in them. They challenge me. To know the full story, I have to tell how our story, mine and Duo’s, has panned out. I smile and look back at my lover, asleep on the bed. I close down the screen and join him once more.

They can wait a little longer.

*Owari*