More Warnings: 1x2, 3x4(implied) Lyrics will be enclosed in (these)
.Scathed Light.
Pulled from Ashes
You have to tell me, we live to die,
and we die for a cause. Is there anything
more to this life? Huh? You DAMN well let me
know when you find an answer..
I am Shinigami. I was trained with the purpose of passing judgment against those who opposed my authority. I am Death. I am the nothingness, the silence. I am the shadow that walks behind you. And you'll never notice me.. until my Scythe rests coolly against your neck. I am my own name, my own invention. I am Duo Maxwell.
I am no one. I was trained with the purpose of completion to all my missions. I do not question my mission. I am the perfect solider. I do not question anything. I am to be efficient, and complete all tasks effectively. The lives of others are at no consequence. I will kill; I will assassinate to complete my task. I am nothing. I am the air; I have no name, no childhood, and no soul. I am a drone, and if you're in my path, I will kill you without hesitation. I am Heero Yuy.
"K'so!" Duo hissed, slamming his hands down on the keypad. Duo stood in a lab room. The lab was filled with running, beeping, tower computer servers. The floor a deep blue tile that reflected the American's heated face. He stood at the front of the room, standing before a large computer terminal, monitor. The screen was flashing several boxes. Two of them were signaling OZ for back up at the C-sector, and some for the D-sector. The very sector Duo was in. The computer was flaring it's warnings of a hacker trying in infiltrate the system. Damn Trowa!! Duo thought grimly as he tried to punch in the key-code to override the system. Damn Heero too! They know that Trowa and Heero are better at this computer stuff. I should be out there with Heero fighting dammit! Quatre was so insistent that I'd be right for the job. K'so! If I survive this Heero's going to kill me for screwing up the mission.
Duo looked back to the screen as he managed to over ride the warning system, a quick sigh of relief escaping his lips as a light sheen of sweat rested on his brow. "Now let's take control of these surveillance cameras and see what Heero is up to.." Duo said out loud, hardly aware of it as he switched the visual transmissions to import the camera capture. The screen showed Heero slamming his fist against a solider of OZ, dragging the man by his hair to slam his face roughly against the wall with a feral grow. Duo shook his head faintly. "No remorse at all.." Duo whispered. Yeah? Just think what he's gonna do to you?
Duo swallowed, unsettled with that thought. Heero reached the door, noticing the small screen with a keypad against the door. Duo smiled slightly as he flipped on the lab camera. The American's face appearing on the monitor in front of Heero.
"Hey there Heero! See you need a little help from your ol' pal Duo, ne?"
Heero's eyes remained with their hostile anger, his lips almost curled into an animalistic snarl. Heero's lips were moving, but Duo couldn't her him.
"Oi! Heero, the audio is out. I'm gonna try to read your lips so say that again. Say, you look like you've been through hell!"
Heero reached out his hand to grasp the keypad, punching in a few numbers to lock the gate sealed. Heero's menacing eyes flashed back to the screen as he mouthed.
"Get out of there!"
Duo waved a hand, a lax smile stretching to his face, "Heero, it's okay, I've regained control of the computer systems. I've locked down the place. You are too serious for your own good!"
Heero practically growled, mouthing more angrily.
"You brainless dimwit, the computer frame consists of a master and two slaves!"
"So?"
"You're on the slave. It's a trap!"
(-I知 about to be on the floor again, surely you池e gonna find me here-)
Duo's face suddenly paled. Whatever instructions Heero was trying to give him, he'd already looked away. Suddenly, the beeping of the tower computers wasn't a comforting sound. Swiftly Duo turned, his chestnut braid snaking behind him as he reached the tower. Dammit, I refuse to screw up this mission. Dou slid open the cover to one of the towers. The enemy will be here soon. Our mission was to send the central computers information to our computers to keep monitor of their plans. We were supposed to do this discreetly, but it was a set up. Things got ugly. So now Quatre is at the escape vehicle on the computer systems awaiting this data. Trowa is disarming the security system. And Heero and Wufei are down there fighting. Dammit! I should be down there.
(-I知 about to sleep until the end of time, drug I take gonna wake my fear right now-)
His eyes widened as he saw the towers were filled with explosives. He reached his hand in to unhook a few wires, returning back to the computer terminal, trying to remain clam. Well, if this is the slave, it still has connections to the main computer. If I access it, there will be two minutes until detonation. In that short time, I can send Quatre the plans to his computer. He continued to type at the computer, pushing his way through to the main computer to milk it of it's information. So.. this information will cost my life. Hey not like it's gonna matter? Heero would kill you anyway. Besides, you're the God of Death, only you can take your life, and ain't nobody else able to take your life. You can only give it away.
(-I知 passing away on to the better life.. I知 passing away on to the better..-)
He reached his hand to rub at the golden crucifix. I am ready to die; I'd rather die, and complete the mission. Anything is better than failing and returning to see Heero's disappointment.. shimatta, he'd push me even further away. He wouldn't wanna work with me because I'd be a screw up, then I'd be alone again. And.. when we went to L2, and I went into the confessional.. I confessed, I told someone. Not the right someone.. but I couldn't hide it.
(-I知 about to see just how far I can fly, surely your gonna break my fall-)
"Heero.. have I fallen inlove with you? I'll die.. you'll never know.." Duo whispered, a faintly wry smile touching his lips. Fate did not mean for Heero and Duo to be together, fate planned for Heero and Relena. He lowered his hand down to press enter. "There.."
(-I知 about to run as fast as I can, head long into that wall this time-)
There was nothing left to do, he couldn't escape, mission was complete. He was expendable, and it was for the better of mankind. Tower one exploded, setting out a blaze as the wall around it began to break and crack, the whole room shaking. The smell of burning plastic filled the room as the fire began to spread, the towers all-beeping, threatening to go off in sequence. Their unbearable heat hit Duo as he felt the impact, slamming his back against the wall with a groan as his form slumped to the floor.
(-I知 passing away on to the better life I知 passing away on to the better-)
Suddenly a large mechanical claw crashed through the wall. Duo shielded himself as the larges pieces of broken wall crumbled to the floor, scattering debris. It was a Mobile suit, that wasn't as surprising as who slide out of the mobile suit. It was Heero, his worn anger and frustration still on his face, the faint stain of blood and soot against his chin as he hurried towards Duo.
(-I知 about to be on the floor again, surely you池e gonna find me here I知 about to sleep until the end of time, drug I take gonna wake my fear right now..-)
Duo blinked slowly, the impact having shaken his senses as he lazily opened his eyes, "H-heero?" Heero kept the gnarl to his face, reaching to lift Duo and fold him over his shoulder wordlessly. The weariness was on him, but he didn't want to pass out, he was stronger than this. He wanted to be strong. Strong like Heero was. And he was Shinigami, he could take the pain. Soon he found himself seated in the secondary seat of the mobile suit as Heero sat in the front. The hatch sealed as Heero began to pilot the OZ machinery. It must have been a kin to the Aries prototype, because soon he saw the sky and the small portion of the base he was at was now in flames. OZ didn't want there to be any survivors if they tampered with the computer.
Duo swallowed. What do I do? Do I thank him? Ch' he looks so pissed. "Where are we going?" Duo managed hoarsely. "Shut up!" Heero hissed. Duo closed his mouth, his eyes turning down to the pilot controls, as he remained silent. "The only reason you're alive now was on Quatre's request," Heero muttered. Of course.. now it makes sense, never would Heero Yuy ever save me unless it was Quatre's bidding. At times I wish I was Quatre, his face is like a angel's. Even Heero bends to him. I can see why it wasn't hard for Quatre to change Trowa. Everyone has got someone.. but because of this stupid crush, aw hell, I should have just died. I'm giving up on him.
Duo sunk further into his seat, thoroughly annoyed as he returned back in response, "Yeah well I'll remember to thank Quatre for risking your ass to save mine." Heero wasn't responding, soon he had the mobile suit landed next to the van. Heero flipped the switch and the hatch flew open, he caste an icy glare on Duo, "Out." Heero commanded. Duo wasn't hesitant; he leapt out of there as soon as Heero commanded.
It wasn't long before he climbed into the van. As soon as Duo was in, Wufei pressed on the gas, speeding away from the scene. Duo seated himself on the floor of the van. Inside the van were computers, and set equipment for spy monitoring. Quatre was in the corner of the van hugging on to Trowa as he spoke in a worried tone, "Trowa! You're safe!" The blonde boy's cheek rubbing against Trowa's chest. And now, Trowa, the boy who was aspiring to be like Heero, had closed his arms around Quatre to return the hug. Duo glanced around. No Heero. He must be driving the other vehicle. He sighed, rubbing his head. Good, I couldn't take another moment of that hatred. It was like he was disgusted with me for not performing the mission perfectly and flawlessly. Well damn, I'm not you Heero. I can't be perfect. Duo glanced back towards Trowa and Quatre, clearing his throat as he interrupted their moment, "Ahem, no hugs for me? I did near die ya know! Thanks to you Quatre I was saved."
Quatre blinked softly, his wide green eyes confused as he lightly shook his head, "You- did? Duo.. something was wrong with the frequency, I could only pick up Trowa and Wufei. The last message I managed to get from Heero was that everything was safe and you were fine." "B-but, he- ah.. never mind.." Heero you damn liar.. you saved me. You didn't have time to receive any message; the data I sent messed up the frequency. You.. went out of your way.
Duo's cheeks heated. He could still smell the gun oil, and he could still feel the print of Heero's hand against him. Every time I think I'll give up on you, you give me a reason to keep on trying. Duo smiled faintly, resting his head back in comfort. Damn, it's good to be alive..
Heero gripped tightly to the wheel, he had the car following Wufei, but every now and then he would take a different turn, simply to lengthen the trip. Duo wasn't an idiot. He'd probably already found out that Quatre didn't give him any request. Duo.. I could have left you to die. You were expendable. I would have been justified, there wasn't enough time.
Heero gritted his teeth, turning the wheel sharply as his thoughts began to fester. But.. then the rest of my life I would have thought, 'What if I could have saved Duo?' just as I thought I could have saved that girl. If I saved Duo, he has all these chances. K'so. Why do I only feel that way about Duo? If Relena were in that situation, would I have saved her? He made another turn, lengthening the trip further as he wasn't even focused to the road.
Relena wouldn't be in that situation. Relena wouldn't sacrifice herself simply because she'd be afraid that I'd be mad with her. She could never understand my life. Not like the other pilots. Shimatta! She's a cultured pearl! Just as I was made to be what I am, she was made to be a Peacecraft. I was made to carry destruction. The only reason why I haven't killed her.. is because she sounds just like that little girl. She *looks* like that little girl. She is nothing more than a mission, and when it is complete, she is nothing. My heart is empty. If it came to it, I would have left her behind to die. Why couldn't I do the same to you Duo?
Ch'! Feeble emotions, feeble thoughts. I'll just clear them away.
Heero arrived at the house an hour late. His clothes slightly torn, his wounds covered in smudges of dirt, his hair sweaty and tousled. He was a mess, but he remained to have an emotionless face as he came into the kitchen. Wufei was at the table, he was all cleaned up, in the progress of dressing his wounds expertly, neatly and precise. Trowa was in the other chair, Quatre leaning over him to finish tying off the wound on Trowa's shoulder. Quatre had not a single scratch on him, his blonde hair brushing to Trowa's as he was speaking softly, and brightly, trying to cheer Trowa up. No Duo. That irritated him, he saved Duo, and the stupid American wasn't even at the door waiting to grovel before him.
"Heero, you're late," Wufei snorted as he continued to bandage himself. "And I know that you don't get lost either," Trowa said monotonously. Quatre must have been changing Trowa, because he was opening his damn mouth right when it was better to shut up. Quatre lifted his eyes to Heero, soon the blonde boy had raced away from Trowa over to Heero, he almost began to reach out to hug Heero, but he refrained. Quatre flushed lightly as he looked over Heero's wounds, "Heero! You're back. Oh, Heero, you should go wash up, then we'll put something on those wounds before they're infected."
"Hn." Heero responded, soon turning to head down the hallway. He stepped slowly towards the bathroom door, reaching for the knob, but it pulled open to release a vast amount of steam, revealing Duo who was stepping out. Duo came out with a sigh of relief, a bright smile to his lips as he exclaimed, "Ahh, nothing like a hot shower after a days work- oi! Heero?" Duo asked as he stared at the Japanese boy.
It was Duo.. wasn't it? As Heero stared Duo was wearing nothing around his waist, but a towel, his hair was wet and pooling down his back in a river of liquid chestnut. His soft skin holding it's scars, and wounds from the mission, Duo's heart-shaped face staring back at Heero, "Oi! Heero, you okay? I think the missions tuckered you out, showers yours." Heero stern himself, scowling as he began to brush past Duo, "You shouldn't pace around like that." Duo smiled broadly, lifting a hand to scratch his wet head, "Nanase, no one cares! It doesn't bother any body, Quatre's only gonna be staring at Trowa's ass and visa versa. Wufei just wouldn't care, and you're eyes are on that Peacecraft's hot lil body. Ch'I could walk around naked and no body would care. Say.. Heero, does it bother you that much? Oooh! I see, you were thinking of me in that way, hentai!" Duo teased. Duo knew the teasing would only make Heero mad. "Omae o korosu.."
Suddenly Duo yelped, dashing for his door as water sprit from his hair. Duo ran into his room, peering at Heero from his doorframe with a weak smile, "Ah! I know, never tease Heero Yuy, more dangerous than the situation I was in tonight, ne? Only with you I have no chance of survival. Heero.. ah, well.. look I appreciate you saving me. I don't see why you did it, seeing as you hate me, but I'm really glad th-" Heero slammed the bathroom door shut, cutting off the conversation.
Heero inhaled slowly as his back rested against the door. He couldn't listen to Duo. He didn't need to be softened. Curse his feelings, he felt a tiny part of him.. no he couldn't. And that tiny.. part of him that wanted Duo. The part of him that was awakened when he'd see Duo wet with the towel against his naked skin. Shimatta! Don't think like this. You knew Duo would stay at the computers and you saved him. And Duo saved the mission. No. He was already getting soft. He had to find a way to justify himself. Just push it aside. He had to stop thinking about it, he needed a shower...
Duo finished braiding his hair, smoothing out his black outfit. It's customary for Shinigami to wear black. Duo was wearing a black tank top and a pair of black, leather jeans. His combat boots matching the same color as he reaches for a jacket. Hey, he lived to see another day. It was time to celebrate. Maybe he'd even pick up a few girls. Or guys. Duo shook the thought. He'd always found himself attracted to both sexes, but it wasn't a real attraction. He simply liked the fact that he had the attention, the charisma to entice! But Heero, he was different. He was a mystery, an attraction. Despite how cold Heero had been, Duo felt drawn to him. Here was a man he had something in common with, he knew Heero carried a great guilt, and a great hate. But he was drawn to him, and adored every piece. Duo snorted as he checked his hair in the mirror.
Duo stepped into the kitchen, while had become the usually grounds for meeting. Wufei was indulging himself in a drink of Wild Turkey liquor with Trowa at the table. The two's eyes skimming over a magazine. They weren't really talking, not more than a few words. Dull. Quatre had so many servants, and yet he was sweeping the floor, wearing a loose, crisp white shirt and pair of shorts. He was humming a soft turn, with his alto voice, it was actually soothing. In comparison, Quatre was glowing like an angel of light, and Duo looked more like a fallen demon in his dark, leather wears. Duo's eyes then wrapped to Heero, who chose to be in the very corner of the kitchen, where it was shadowed, his form hunched over a laptop, in a constant state of work. Dull. They needed a little livening up.
"Evening all!" Duo called out to them with a twisted smile. Wufei grunted, Trowa lifted his eyes to study Duo's attire, as did Heero. Quatre smiled brightly, "Evening Duo, my, you're all dressed up!" "Ah, well, I'm alive, I'm going to go to a club and celebrate!" Quatre clasped his hands together with the same bright smile, "Oh! It sounds like fun, Trowa! Can we go too? It won't take me long to get ready!" Trowa couldn't get a word in; Quatre had already fled to the room to change. Trowa's eyes lifted to Wufei, "Wufei, perhaps we can continue this drink at the club, hm?" Wufei folded his arms, his usual stubbornness setting in, "What makes you think that I wish to go? It is disgraceful; we have completed a mission, just as we have amongst many others. There is still a war I will not go out to gloat over one little victory!" Duo stepped over towards Wufei, curving his fingers to grip the glass and tug it away, "Wu-man, you need to loosen up, you're a real tightwad, you know that? You'll be thanking me once you have all those gorgeous girls grinding against you. You're gonna be as light as a feather. Now, you got a choice. You can come with us, I'll buy you a drink, you'll have a great time and feel what it's like to be alive. Or you can stand here, with your bottle of whiskey, and side of sake, drink until you vomit, pass out and awaken alone, in the dark side of the kitchen with your face lying in your own waste. So, how's about it?" Wufei glared at Duo, but his gaze was loosing strength as he side, "Let me grab a coat."
Only Duo could convince Wufei of anything. Duo smiled broadly as he patted Wufei's back, "Good! And while your at it, practice a good approach because standing beside a girl, and saying 'Female, I require a dance partner' ain't the best way to get a girl to dance!" Trowa stood from the table, moving to put the liquor away as Wufei disappeared down the hall. Duo turned to see Heero standing behind him. He'd watched silently the whole time. Duo held his breath as he stared face to face with Heero. Heero's eyes, they're always so intense, each time I meet them. I always feel like.. I'm falling. The American tried to muster a smile, "Hey, Heero, so- are you gonna go, or would Relena be too mad with you?" Heero looked fairly disgusted, "Don't be stupid." Duo's gaze fell down. "-I don't care how Relena thinks of me," Heero finished later.
"You can't go wearing that! You gotta change, you can wear something of mine," Duo told Heero as he began to push him towards the hallway. Even if I do really like what you're wearing. "Don't touch me!" Heero growled as he recoiled from Duo's touch. The American was persistent however and pressed his hands back against Heero, Duo returned the same look of frustration, as he growled this time, "NO! For being such an efficient solider you're too damn slow!"
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. (Except for a few originals like Sakura) This is strictly fan fiction on the televised series Gundam Wing. It is for non-profit and I am in no way affiliated with it. (duh!) Purely entertainment based here.
ALL Lyrics are from 3 Doors Down's cd "The Better Life"