Author's Note: WARNING This is YAOI. As in male-male **sexual** relations. 1x2 fic. I just want this clear before you read. If this sort of material offends you, then don't read it.
More Warnings: 1x2, 3x4(implied), bad language, Lyrics will be enclosed in (these)
.Scathed Light.
Shinigami Is Born
I'm living off the memory of you.
Right now that's all I have of you. Just my thoughts.
It hurts me so much, you'll never know!
I love you so much, and you'll never see that!
... Who are you?
Quatre smoothed his fingers over the cool laminated picture. The surface of the image was sticky, and tainted with orange juice. Quatre gently rubbed off the sweet stain with a damp white cloth. The picture was one of Duo, Heero and Quatre; Duo had one arm around Quatre, and the other around Heero. Duo's large, broad, maniac smile seemed to always make Quatre laugh, so in the image, Quatre's mouth was wide with laughter. Signs of joy and delight. Heero, the perfect solider remained with his customary death stare. He could remember the events very well of that day. They had just completed a mission, Quatre could remember how tired he felt, and how his body ached. He was trembling from the pain of his wounds and it seemed almost impossible to fall asleep after a mission.
The platinum haired boy never seemed to find rest after the completion of a task. Sandrock would always shake so violently with each hit. Each blast shook Quatre, each punch, hit, cut, and stab seemed to tear away a piece of his sanity. He would fall to his knees at his bed, and simply stay there, asking Allah to give him strength before he bowed his head to the floor. One night, on a mission, Duo saw his restlessness, the American told him the best way to shake it off was to remember that it was what was in his heart that mattered. More than that, he told him it was important... to laugh.
So on that faithful day after the mission, Duo took him and Heero out to the park to relieve some stress. Heero refused to go at first, so it was just Quatre and Duo. In fact, the Arabian boy remembered that it was on that day; Duo asked if he had strong feelings for Trowa. Which Quatre did. Quatre turned mute, unable to respond. Duo set up a camera with a timer, saying he wanted to capture Quatre's moment of blankness. He ran over, swung his arm around Quatre and that's when the perfect solider came around. "Koibito! You're always so late, you're tardiness is going to make me consider breaking up with you to run off with Quatre! Oh! The Camera! CHEESE!" Duo exclaimed jokingly. Quatre busted into laughter, and Heero looked like he'd tear Duo in half. Quatre had the picture developed and clumsily spilt coffee on it the next day. He was upset, but Duo had it fixed, and laminated, so he'd never be able to ruin the image.
Quatre cradled the image in his palm, staring at it over, and over. What... if Heero's right? What if Duo is alive, and we're doing nothing? Heero hasn't gotten back yet, should I find out where he went? He may need my help.. At that very moment, the door to Quatre's room rattled. The Arabian boy snapped his attention promptly to the door, his legs folding underneath him, as he remained seated on his bed. The door opened to reveal a young man with sweat driven to his brow, his dark hair tousled and his teeth clenched. It was Heero. He still had his bag over his shoulder, but now his face was filled with an untamed anger. Heero tossed a small stack of papers at Quatre. Causing the boy to dodge as the pages scattered across his bed.
Heero's clothes were worn. He hadn't had a bath in days it seemed. His grimy fingers lifted to point at Quatre, "Do you know what this is Quatre?" The platinum haired boy languidly reached across his sheets, grasping hold to a single sheet of paper, his hands smoothing over it. "It's... the information we downloaded off the computers at that last research base...?" Quatre asked slightly confused. Heero's cold gaze seemed to stab Quatre. "Read down further..." Heero's harsh voice demanded. "It's plans for that mobile suit. We had to keep surveillance on all models OZ pushed out..." Quatre said, his eyes faintly looking over. This displeased Heero, he took steps towards Quatre, the sound of his heavy boots dragging the red carpet before he snatched up a page.
"It's plans to try and replicate the device that is in Wing and Deathscythe. I checked. They had a spy, Juri, who was under the alias Sakura. She met Duo while under cover on L2, and had suspicions of him being a Gundam pilot. She tested him with the Gundanium alloy. The research plant was a trap. These plans had an encryption file, once I broke into the file; it showed the real plans for an operation. Operation OSD, Odin/Shinigami Device. The second mission was made to capture Duo and I along with the Gundams."
Quatre released the page, his eyes wide as the information sunk in, "But- you got away because you activated your device..." It was all falling into play, it was all making sense. "Heero, what should we do?" "Hn. 'We' are doing nothing. I'm going alone. I am allowing you to learn this information incase I fail in my mission that you will find Duo..." With that Heero turned and began to leave the room. Quatre called out to him, clenching to his bed sheets as he began to sprawl from off the mattress, "Heero? Heero!" But his calls were in vain, Heero was gone. It was strange; Heero could take a single step, and completely vanish. He knew that in a matter of seconds, Heero was out the door and gone.
(Living risky, never scared, wander closer to the edge)
I smell... flowers. A soft, sweet fragrance. A perfume? Yeah, that's it. Only a woman would have that scent on her. That gently sweet, scent escaping her throat. I can smell it. I think... I know that scent... that's Sakura's scent. Is she here somewhere? If only I could call out. If I could utter something. Anything! Ch' sometimes I make myself sick. I can't even open my eyes, my fingers won't move. My hand won't move. My body refuses to comply. This soft, numbness is sinking into my legs. I can hardly feel it. My knees feel stiff. The back of my throat dray; a mimic of brittleness. This pain, this stinging pain imposing my body. Why couldn't I have died? I do I still... exist? I am... alive?
"Is the prisoner awake?" A cool, monotonous voice asked. Duo's body winced slightly. That voice, cold, impassive, so much like Heero's. Almost... identical to Heero's. It was enough to force a slow tremor to Duo's fingertips, a futile act of desperation. If only I could get my eyes to open. Dammit Duo! You're stronger than this! *Move* damn you! The American's lip quivered with a deep breath. The air was thick, moist, it almost tasted of salt. The impressions of the sea printing its measurements into his aching lungs. Just to breath was becoming a tedious task.
(Nothing valued think no fear, always wondering why you're here)
Duo could feel a brief prick against his arm. The sting of a needle, the flowing of hot liquid drifting through his veins. Poison? Even if it were poison, Duo was able to breathe more easily, his breaths no longer labored. He relished this greatly, taking advantage of each precious breath. "He's awake," The cool voice confirmed with an amused tone. Fingers grasped to Duo's chin, lifting his head. "Open your eyes Duo," the voice commanded. How... does he know my name? Duo had a desire to see the owner of the voice; he couldn't understand why his eyes felt so heavy. It was a horrid hang over. As if he hadn't opened his eyes in days. His eyelids fluttered, causing only blurred images to scatter into his sight. The soft blurs of scenery becoming more clear and evident. The man smelled strangely of a woman's perfume. Sakura's perfume. Sakura turned me in? I was careless. Damn...
Into view Duo was clearly able to see the face of the man that held him. The man had platinum white hair that reached his shoulder, the locks of hair pulled back into a ponytail. The mans face was more of a square shape, with defined, strong jaws that gave him a rough façade. What captured Duo's attention was the mans icy, gray stare, a stare that nearly mimicked Heero's. A slow, bitter smile was produced against the mans pale lips. He released Duo's chin, causing the boys head to fall back roughly against the grimy bed. The mattress creaking its protests noisily as Duo tilted his head back. Duo's teeth gritted, grinding softly as he came to realize his hands were tied. "What the hell do you want with me?" The violet-eyed boy managed with effort, tossing his gaze with the little strength he possessed towards the man.
(All your purposes are gone, nothing's right, nothing wrong)
The man stood tall beside the bed, the floors were a smooth gray surface. The rooms' walls matched the floor; there was a single, steel door, one that had a thick glass window to spy in on the prisoner. In the corner was a crumbling toilet, hardly sanitary with its lack of cleanliness. It was a cell room. The man's smile remained; he was suited in a green, OZ, military uniform, quite pleased with himself. "I will be asking the questions Duo. You will only answer," the man commanded. "Look, I don't care if I'm your prisoner or not, you're not gonna get anything out of me!" The American growled. The man ignored Duo's response and continued, "How do we turn off the device?" Duo lolled his head away, pressing his cheek against the soiled mattress, inhaling its sour scent. "I don't know what you're talking about," Duo snorted.
The platinum haired man was loosing his patience, but he managed to guise. Keeping his poise calm as his hands forced Duo's features to return gaze to his cold, stare. "Your Gundam holds an important, powerful device. We did not realize that once it was activated, only you would be able to use the Gundam. The system terminates any other pilot, but you. Do you realize what this means?" Duo broke a sly smile, his eyes somewhat blank as the cocky look touched his face,
"Yeah.. it means you're fucked."
A growl loudly roared from the mans, deep throat. His hands reached out like a claw, seizing hold of Duo's throat. His fingers clamping into the base of the boys neck. Duo wriggled underneath the mans hold, heaving raspy curses with each breath he managed to gather. The man formed a sadistic sort of smile, one that he wore expertly, and his free hand trimming long fingers against Duo's chest. Duo struggled beneath his grip, the cold, probing fingers working their way under the American's shirt, snatching hold of the golden cross. With a firm tug he painfully snapped the crucifix from its chain. Causing the gold strip to hit the floor, a few loose, broken links scattering on the floors slick surface. The man rubbed the golden item between his fingers, "It means we're going to use you to deactivate it, whether you comply or not is irrelevant. What we do know is that in order to get this device to be fully operational. We need the other Gundam with the device. You... Duo, are the bait."
With that message declared, he released the foul boy, rubbing his hands at his coat, treating Duo as a mere filthy rat. His chin tilted up, with his defiance, a quirk to his mouth as a slender brow raised. "Would your colleague fight against you? His own fellow pilot? We shall put this to the test. You will be brought food. You must gain strength, soon Shinigami, you will see what true potential you possess..."
Shinigami?
Shinigami?
Odin?
It is identical to the dreams. There cannot be a connection. It must be coincidence. Jiru must have given them the information. It was nightfall, the spackled dots of light spraying their claim into the indigo sky. The gently brush of cumulous clouds settling into a soft, eerie, light purple against the cosmic scenery. The gently kisses of the wind ran through Heero's disheveled hair. Brushing over his wintry features. His shirt had faint stains of Jiru's blood. His jeans stained with the dirt from the streets, dried sweat against his skin. His eyes were focused to one thing. The facility ahead of him. The OZ facility was stationed by the sea. A curious place. He lifted up a calloused hand, staring into the security card held in his grasp. It was Jiru's card. He wasn't going to simply waltz in and run the card through, the computer would register him in, but it would only be a matter of seconds for it to register that Jiru was dead.
(Nothing ventured, nothing gained, feel no sorrow, feel no pain)
Heero stepped off the balcony back into his motel room. The room was dark; the only light was the moonlight that barely touched his bed and the soft, glow of his laptop screen. He lowered into his seat in front of the computer, plugging a small, removable device to his computers port. With a soft click, the card was slid into the device.
"Name: Howard, Jill" "Delete" "Name: Maxwell, Ashe" "Confirm?" "New Data Entry, Name Maxwell, Ashe." "Saving Alteration and Date." "Accessing Date Files" "Delete Alteration Date Changes" "Reset" "Maxwell, Ashe is now confirmed to have been with OZ for a year."
It would only take ten minutes for them to figure out Ashe Maxwell wasn't a real member of OZ, but it gave him enough time to get in and get a hold of the computer system, and more importantly, find Duo. "Printing Blue Print Specs-" Heero tore the paper from out of the printer, the smudges of soot smearing against the smooth contours of the white parchment. With each sheet the machine pressed out, Heero greedily tore it from the printers grasp, hungrily feeding off the information as if his sanity depended on it. The paper continued to stack, forming a pile of pages neatly placed with crimpled edges at the side of the laptop. He had all the information he needed. It was set. In his mind he'd formulated a plan. Use the new registered security card to get in the building, kill any guards that threatened to be in his way, take control of the computer. Use the monitoring system to find Duo. Duo was priority. Deathscythe was the means of escape.
Hold on Duo..
(Kiss me while I'm still alive, kill me while I kiss the sky, let me die on my own terms, let me live let me learn)
"Wake up Duo.." A cool voice coaxed. Duo's eyes swiftly flew open; he had vigor back into his system. His strength was back. The American jerked wildly to bring up his wrists, but he was strapped down on a blue examination table. Lights were shining down on Duo's body; doctors dressed, and suited up for surgery looming over the boys figure. The soft draft blew over Duo's body, his mind snapping to the realization that he was lying naked against the examination table. The braided-boy growled, yelling out his protests as his body began to shake the table, "What do you think you're doing, you damn bastard!"
The platinum haired man simply smile, "My name is Danfar. You, Duo, now work for us." "Like hell I will!" "Yes, you will. You will have no choice. You see, only Shinigami could control that Gundam now that the device is activated. Anyone who tried to use the system, died within the cockpit, but not it's master. Not its God. Therefore, we will make you become, that.." Danfar lifted his turquoise mask over his face, drifting back into the dark shadows surrounding as the doctors claimed his space.
(Now I'll follow my own way, and I'll live on to another damn day)
"It just isn't right to do this to anyone! Especially someone so young! We do not yet know of the terminal effects it could have on this boy, it's not even tested. It's unethical!" A female voice among the doctors exclaimed. "Dr. Hamasaki, you will silence yourself if you wish to keep your position within this field. Last you need is another bad mark to your record. Perform the operation.." Danfar's cool voice commanded. "But sir, the patient may not survive the strain that we place to his body! It could destroy the make up of his cells and there is a potential for severe brain damage and loss of motor control," the doctor continued to urge. Her tone was one of pleading; she wanted Duo to be operated on no more than the American did. Duo put up a fierce struggle, "Fuck you!" "Gas him up, let him be subdued. Maxwell I suggest you relax, your fate is inevitable."
The Doctor showed reluctance, but placed the mask over Duo's mouth, the gas turning up to turn Duo's form lax. "May God forgive me..." She whispered softly.
What are they going to do to me? Why couldn't I have died? I could endanger everything... Heero... it is you who I ask for forgiveness. Forgive me Heero. I always disappoint you. It's funny... the more I relax... the more I feel myself slipping away. It's so perfect... so blissful... I feel it all around me. Heero? That name, have I heard it before?
Who is Heero?
(Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was my life...)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. (Except for a few originals like Sakura/Juri the dead chick) This is strictly fan fiction on the televised series Gundam Wing. It is for non-profit and I am in no way affiliated with it. (duh!) Purely entertainment based here.
ALL Lyrics are from 3 Doors Down's cd "The Better Life", this song was 'Life on my own'. It reminds me SO much of Heero and Duo. 'Let me die on my own terms' just reminds me of Duo only able to take his life. I like 3 Doors Down, it's my Gundam love CD. ^_^
AFTER THOUGHTS: Now that I've finished the fanfic and I look back, I like this chapter, but not really. *sigh* I'm my own worse critic. I could have done this so much better, but I wanted to rush. When I write a story, I can go on forever. I didn't want that to happen here to I had to condense a lot of stuff that was going to happen, like *blush* another sex scene!
