His hands tucked under the pillow, hugging the material closer. Then came the next realization. Duo was not beside him. The side Duo had laid on was an empty indention to his right. He began to wonder just how late it was. He could finally hear the sound of the door opening and slamming shut; this sound was followed with the rustle of plastic bags and gentle humming. Heero curved a slight quirk to his lips. Duo had gone shopping. He sounded joyful. That was a good thing; he enjoyed seeing the American boy smile. It was unfortunate that their night had been spoiled. He was ready and prepared to have sex with Duo until his body quaked with exhaustion. He was ready to share his body with Duo completely, to take Duo as his possession and be Duo's possession. But that was quickly snuffed with Duo's words.

     "I don't just want sex, Heero. I want something more..."

     What the hell was Duo talking about? Did he want flowers and candy? A moon light serenade? What else could he give that he wasn't giving already?

     "Oi! Sleepy head. You know it's really funny, in the weeks we've been together I've never seen you sleep. Over your insomnia?" Duo asked casually. Duo was standing near the door, his back leaning against the wall in the room. He had a mint stick in his mouth that he continuously kept twirling. Heero's eyes locked to Duo's, his fingers loosening their hold of the pillow. "Hai," Heero said blankly. Duo approached the bed slothfully, sitting down on the futon. He kept twirling the candy stick in his mouth, tipping his head to the side, "It's past noon." Heero steadied himself, lifting from the covers; he'd forgotten that he was still very naked. He kept his lower half concealed under the sheets; Duo had a curious smile to his lips. The candy in his mouth following the shift in his lips. "Don't tell me you're becoming bashful now after last night? I meant to remind you, I think your recorder came on. I didn't mess with it. All that spy equipment isn't really my area of expertise. Anyway, you should get dressed and check it out. I even brought you lunch," Duo pushed up from the futon, standing to his feet. Duo moved out of the room, closing the door behind him.

     Heero released a grateful sigh, finally tossing the covers off his unclothed body. Last night he wasn't sure what had come over him. Maybe it was just as Duo said, hormones. He wanted to be with Duo so bad, and so strongly it consumed him. Even now, when he saw Duo twist the candy, rod in his mouth he wondered if Duo would show the same satisfied delight if he was in the boys mouth instead? He reached for his boxers that he'd tossed on the ground, sliding his legs in them. He pulled open the door, stepping out in the main room to go towards the shower. Duo was sitting at the table, eating a small box lunch eagerly while reading a magazine. He had his mouth full as he tried to tell Heero that he hand a lunch for him as well.

     There was a strange feeling that overcame Heero as he sat to have lunch with Duo. He wasn't sure what it was, but Duo was smiling, telling him of the things he read in the magazine and the strange people he met at the convenience store. Heero did have to contemplate whether or not he'd really want days like this to end? "Is it good? You know, food here can't compare to L2. The hotdogs there are amazing, none of this plain rice stuff here. I'm talking about quality grease!" Duo commented. Heero snorted amusedly, his hand lifting open the small box lunch. Heero placed his chopsticks in one hand, the other reaching to flip on the recording machine.

     "Hello? Moro? This is Dr. Emilio! I fear that it's too late. Things are getting suspicious. You don't think they've found out have they?"

     "Stop panicking, the situation is under control. They suspect nothing."

     "That's not what Keith says!" "You know Keith has 'problems', you can't always take him seriously."

     "I'm going to go to the lab south, 50 miles of here. We have to finish it! Otherwise I'm as good as dead. I know they have assassins already out after me!"

     "Like I said, chill. It's under control." "What about Duo Maxwell? Is he coming yet?" "He'll live up to his part soon enough."

     Heero quickly turned his attention to Duo. Duo's eyes were opening impossibly large. His chopsticks dropping from his fingers. Duo shook his head profusely, rising up his hands in his defense, "Heero, I swear I don't know what the hell they're talking about!" Heero pushed back from the table, lowering his hand to pull his gun from beside his laptop. He pointed the gun towards Duo quickly and without hesitation. His features became stern. Was Duo lying? Could he even believe Duo? He cocked the hammer of his gun. "I do not want you to lie to me, Duo. I have orders to terminate you other wise," Heero said the words easily. He tried to make Duo believe that this was a simple task for him. Duo shook his head, "What? Why? The colonies think I'm a suspect?" "That phone conversation had your name mentioned it in. Keith claimed that he'd met you before though you denied it. You could have even easily told him my name. They always seem to be a step ahead. And there was no way our previous mission could have been foiled unless it was one of us. Give me answers, Duo. I've waited long enough. I won't hesitate to kill you."

     Duo's face was clamored with anger, frustration and misery. "I- can't believe that you're convicting me already! I'm your partner! You're supposed to trust me!" "My mission was to monitor their behavior and yours. Why do you think this is a joint mission?" A look of hurt crashed over Duo's features, his body seeming weak, unbelieving and pained. "I'm not lying, Heero. I have nothing to do with it." Heero lowered his gun, placing it back down by his laptop. "We shall see," Heero spoke. It had only taken a moment for Heero to recuperate the ice that melting, back into a cold tower within his heart. If he did have to kill Duo he wanted it to be as personally painless as possible. Heero's eyes looked to his boxed lunch. He'd only eaten half. He was really planning on finishing his meal this time, but the pain of hunger, and an angry stomach would remind him. He couldn't be comforted. His life wasn't a luxury. So he had another left over meal. Damn, just when he was starting to get a good night's sleep. Night's like those are always short lived.

+++
See? I told you that you couldn't trust him, Heero.
+++

     Duo walked down the busy sidewalk. He couldn't believe what happened. One of the most incredible nights of his life was followed by the worst day. He couldn't believe that Heero was just simply waiting for a reason to finish him off. Death was something Duo could accept, but death by Heero? The hurt in his heart alone could be enough to kill him. Heero really did feel nothing for him. The night before where their passions were so wildly tangled was just a memory. He could still feel Heero's lips on his throat, and hear Heero's wonderfully deep voice whispering how beautiful he was. He could smell Heero in his clothes. This Japanese pilot whom he loved, adored, and needed, felt nothing more for him than hormonal impulses.

     "I will go down, and I will catch you..."

     "Fool. You should dry your hair. You will catch a cold,"

     "I'll tell you." "Huh? Tell me what?" "I'll tell you before I leave."

     I guess on top of true love being dead, camaraderie died somewhere along the way too.

     He had to find answers on his own. He had to find Keith. If he could just prove himself innocent before Heero emptied a magazine of bullets into his head he'd make everything right. Heero would apologize for accusing him so horribly, surround him with those wonderful arms, and all would be right again. It wouldn't feel so helpless. Lost and chaotic. He had a piece of Heero and he was inevitably craving and desiring more of his attention.

     Why do you want him back? Think about it! He doesn't trust you. He's accusing you of being a traitor instead of giving you a little faith. Fuck it. Let him rot.

     Duo could just drop it; even once he proved his innocence he could drop Heero. It wasn't fair that he'd condemned him so easily without even hearing an explanation or wanting one. But his heart kept tugging in Heero's direction no matter how hard her tried to restrain it. Duo kicked up a small pile of snow with his boot, staring towards the ice. What was worse is the fact that Duo *snuck* out of the apartment. He had to! It was the only way. While Heero was showering he took the liberty to get the hell out of there. The strange thing was, Duo knew that Heero knew he'd try to run. Was Heero just giving him a running start? It was little things like that, which drove Duo insane. Never knowing for certain, only partial pieces. Why was life like that? It's always so complicated and delivered in bits day by day. Duo was sick of it.

     "It's not fair..." A soft, chocked voice whispered. At first Duo wondered if his own lips had uttered the words, then he realized the voice was female. He snapped his gave to a near by bench. Rei was seated there, wearing a maroon coat and cream-colored scarf. Frozen tears stained her red cheeks. Her hands were tightly concealed in red mittens. Her eyes dulled, her lower lip quivering as her teeth chattered. Such a piteous sight. Her snivels and cries completely disregarded by the world. Duo's conscience got the best of him, so he approached her, seating himself right at her side. Rei quickly turned to look at Duo, studying his face until her mind recalled him from the previous night. "I- need to be alone right now," Rei murmured, brushing a tear from her cheek.

     "You don't show up in a public place, crying like that to be alone. If you wanted to be alone, you should have stayed at home," Duo concluded. He had to smile at his own actions. He was talking like Heero. Rei shivered, her small, delicate shoulders shaking as her fingers rubbed her red lips, "I- can't be home, I can't let my family see me like this..." Duo sighed, he was a softy at heart, but most importantly he understood the pain. "Keskue wasn't right for you," Duo's eyes watched the small shop ahead, his hands seeped into the wells of his pockets. Rei jerked her head up, "How- did you know it was about Keskue? You know him? What did he tell you?" Her small fingers grasped hold of Duo's coat, desperation in her gaze as her teeth locked tightly together, "What did he tell you?" Duo tried to assuage her frantic actions, lightly prying her fingers off his coat. "Shh. I didn't talk to Keskue. I just saw him the other day with another girl. I'm sorry Rei," Duo knew he words sounded harsh, but he assumed that she knew this already. Her arms limbed away from Duo, a heavy sigh leaving her tender mouth. "Do you want to know what I believe, Damon? That trust is the hardest thing in the world to have or earn. Love you can get, but if you can trust someone and they trust you, and you both abide by that. It's more important. Because people can claim love every day, but dependence is far more important. Don't say a word. Just show it. Show your love."

     Her words burned a hole into Duo's head. She was right. Love was important, but trust and dependence needed to be a big part of that love. Heero didn't love him at all. If he couldn't trust, or depend on him, then did he even really love Heero? Maybe he'd been mistaken. Confused with his feelings. He couldn't love a guy. If he weren't a pilot, but a normal boy. With a family, going to school, and working. If he didn't care for Heero so much. If he hadn't even met Heero. Right then he'd pledge his allegiance to Rei. They'd be the perfect couple, the couple the school envies. That's how it would be in a different world.

     "You're strong, Rei. You're beautiful, and you will find someone else. Someone you care for and they will love you right back. You have a family, you are well to do, and you have friends. Every option in the world is opened to you," Duo explained to her. "Friends? I don't have friends. I have Asoko, and she's not a friend. She just likes for me to listen to her problems. She's so self-centered. So damn prideful. The only one she's not so cocky around is Keith!" Duo's attention was fully captured, his eyes wide as he lightly touched her arm, "Keith? You know Keith?" "Yes, you're a friend of his too? Keith is so strange. There used to be no Keith at all. One day Moro comes back from a business trip. The Doctor and Mr. Cooper brought with them a young boy named Keith. Cooper said that Keith was a cousin of his, but I don't believe it at all. Asoko won't believe what Moro really is. She idolizes him, but it's obvious that he sells illegal items." "Drugs." "No! Not drugs. It's easier for people to think its drugs; no one does many drug busts now. And they figure crack heads are of no threat to them. Moro sells medical supplies and equipment. Equipment that was either never approved, or they want to keep under wraps," Rei rubbed her cheek, wiping away the final tear. "Keith isn't like a normal boy. He knows things," Rei said the words, leaving it so vague. Her light smile managed to lift. "Rei do you know where I can find Keith?" "Asoko told me that Moro, Mr. Cooper and the doctor were going on a business trip today." Duo's hands grasped lightly to Rei's arms, his face taking on a serious look, "Rei, I need to talk to Keith. He's a friend of mine. I have to ask him a few questions, where are they going?" "Keith will be leaving soon, you can probably catch him if you left now-" She didn't get to finish speaking. Duo had already raced off, tracking through the fresh white snow. Rei's eyes turned skyward, the snow was beginning to fall again, and she stretched out her hand, collecting the cold ice into the palm of her mitten.

     Duo raced through the park, he could feel how heavy his feet felt as the crushed against the fallen snow. The white, shaved ice surrounded his boots in frost. The small white flecks that touched his red lips and melted on his fevered skin. He couldn't stop running. His joints tired, and weakened from the cold. Duo couldn't take the winter as well as Heero could. Ice wasn't his element. His cheeks tinting pink, the cool smell of the winter air stung his nostrils with their arctic fury.

     No matter how cold the ice gets. No matter how hard the wind may try to knock me down. No matter how frozen, Heero is inside, I cannot change this feeling inside me for him.

     Duo's lips broke a faint smile, his fingers held tightly. Swinging his arms against the force of the wind.

     Treat me any way you desire, Heero. Hate me if you wish, but dammit! I refuse to let you loose your trust in me! That is the only thing I knew I had. No one takes that from me. No one dammit!!

     His body was heavy, his steps were becoming more slothful, his hands grasping out of his exhaustion to grip to the side of a tree. Flakes of ice sprayed lightly on the top of his head, covering his braid in a light, white sheet of snow. Duo parted his mouth, breathing deeply and rapidly. He swallowed in a vain attempt to catch his breath, his nails grinding against the smooth bark of the tree. His stomach pained him.

     "Get it through your skull Duo, the only one I want to fuck, is you,"

     "Heero..." Duo breathed the words softly. He had to prove his innocence. If not to be Heero's lover, then to be Heero's partner. He had to attain back some form of kinsmanship with Heero. This caused Duo's fingers to more forcefully drag against the bark. He couldn't stay there, he couldn't be lazy. He couldn't wait, or hesitate.

     "Heero brings you such pain. Hm? Am I correct, Duo?" A cool voice asked with a self-satisfied lift towards the end. Duo practically slipped, steadying his body against the tree as he tried to force his head up, his violet eyes soaking in the slender image of a boy in front of him. It was Keith. Keith was dressed entirely in black, wearing a black robe against his shoulders. The cold fabric twisted mechanically in the chilly wind. Keith's face was utterly pale. No color touched his cheeks. Keith had an inquisitive look to his features. Duo stumbled back, "How the *hell* do you know my name?" Keith raised his hand to his mouth; blood stained his fingers, dripping slowly to the snow, staining it with small drops of liquid, red. Keith slowly licked the blood from his fingertips. "You know something you and I also have in common, Duo? We have both, tasted death and we both hunger for life," Keith whispered, brushing the tainted blood against his lips rhythmically.

     Duo shook his head, "Answer the damn question! How the fuck do you know my name?" Keith seemed to continue speaking, ignoring Duo's words. "And we both desire the same person. We both want Heero. Only, I will get Heero," Keith said the words with such elation and delicate pleasure. Duo froze, his body unable to move. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Duo willed himself to move, his hands steadily trying to reach for his gun. "If you shoot me, you'll never get the information you desire. And you left your gun at your apartment. You were in such a hurry after Heero rejected you, that you over looked these details." Duo fumbled in his pocket. His gun was gone. He had indeed forgotten it. Duo then took matters into his own hands, lunging forwards to cling his hands to Keith, gripping the boy with a fierce anger. His lips curled, sinking his fingers painstakingly into Keith's robe. "Who are you with? Oz? The colonies? What the hell do you want from me?"

     A laugh left Keith's wicked mouth, a small trail of blood from his stained fingers trailing down his chin. Keith's hands lifted, pressing the blood softly to Duo's cheeks. It smelled fragrant. It wasn't blood at all. He couldn't place that smell. Finally it hit him. It was cough syrup. Cherry cough syrup for a common cold. Keith leaned forward, "Starve a cold, feed a fever." Duo's eyes began to widen, before he could even move he could feel an object slam against the back of his head. His body began to crimple and tumble towards the snow. Tumbling, falling helplessly. Someone had hit him. He could see the faint red flash of a coat. Cooper's coat. Cooper must have hit him while he was distracted. The last thing he could see was Keith's broad, red smile. The last words he heard was,

     "If you really want to know who I am so badly Duo, I will tell you. My last name is Maxwell, but I prefer to be called Shinigami."

"Love you can get, but if you can trust someone and they trust you, and you both abide by that.
It's more important. Because people can claim love every day, but dependence is far more important.
Don't say a word. Just show it. Show your love..."

Show your love...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. This is strictly fan fiction on the televised series Gundam Wing. It is for non-profit and I am in no way affiliated with it. (duh!) Purely entertainment based here.

Author's Last words: Okie this chapter is a little short. It is all coming together, plaase give it some time. *_*