Disclaimer: All praise goes to Takahashi and Takeuchi. If you feel this irresistible urge to send money after reading this, I'd suggest a medical examination. If that shows nothing, send the money to them, not me. (They might take it as encouragement, whereas I'd just blow it on Mountain Dew and Jolt.) ***************** "All the Small Things--Chapter 6" A Sailor Moon/Ranma 1/2 Fanfic By Slacker (rheins@pmt.org) ***************** Usagi reached out and picked up the smoldering piece of red silk. She brought it to her face and cradled it against her cheek, ignoring the heat as she slowly soaked it with her tears. The other Senshi stared in shock at the raging conflagration that had swallowed Ranko's form. "No one could have survived that." Ami whispered in a tortured voice. Haruka blinked back a few tears of her own. There would be time for tears AFTER Ranko's killer had paid. She surged to her feet, dimly aware of a rushing sound in her ears. She threw out a hand. "WORLD DEVASTATING!" A ball of brilliant yellow energy slammed into the youma's chest with a wet *CRUNCH*, throwing it back several yards. Another blast quickly followed, ensuring that it would NOT be getting back up. Haruka started to stalk over to the youma, but paused as a thought occurred to her. She glanced down. A familiar sight greeted her. Namely, her Senshi fuku. Haruka's thoughts were interrupted by a scream from Ami. "It's getting up! We need to transform, now!" A quick glance revealed that the youma was indeed rising back to it's feet, seemingly unharmed. Uranus got ready to meet its charge. She dimly noticed the series of lightshows behind her that signified the other Senshi transforming, but most of her attention was focused on her enemy. "VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!" The youma staggered back as the attack lanced into, and through, the center of its chest, then fell. This time, no one was going to take a chance. Just to make sure it would stay down, everyone hit it a few times while Sailor Moon started to warm up her attack. Unfortunately, she never got the chance to use it, due to that fact that the youma got up again. This time, it came up swinging. Uranus fell first, succumbing to a rapid series of kicks and punches. Somehow, she managed to dodge the claw swipes that were aimed at her throat, stomach, and eyes. The youma charged over her, heading towards the clustered group of Senshi. Venus jumped away from the group, grabbing Moon as she went. The rest of the Senshi were scattered like bowling pins from the youma's attack. Most of them managed to roll with the impact, but Jupiter and Mars were slammed into the wall by a quick backhanded blow. Mars' head made a loud *THWACK* as it impacted the concrete. She slumped to the ground. The youma flashed a kick towards Mars' head. She barely managed to jerk her head to the side in time to dodge it. As the foot drew back for another kick, she idly noted that it had claws, too. Nice, jagged pointy ones. Maybe if those nice birdies she was hearing would stop singing, she could do something about them. "VENUS LOVE-ME CHAIN!!" Mars was saved from becoming a stain by a golden chain wrapping itself around the youma's ankle and pulling. It flew in a nice, picturesque arc and slammed into the center of the street on its head, a neat pattern of cracks radiating out from the impact point. It spasmed once and lay still, neck bent at an obviously wrong angle. Venus let her chain disappear, then bent over to help Moon up to feet. Moon started to stand up, then stumbled and slammed her shoulder into Venus' stomach, knocking both back to the ground. Venus was about to yell at her when she noticed something pass through the area formerly occupied by her head. She whipped her head around just in time to see the youma get ready to throw another piece of concrete at her. She grabbed Moon and frantically back-pedaled, desperately dodging chunks of concrete the whole way. The youma had just ripped out a huge chunk of concrete and was preparing to throw when a pair of familiar (and VERY welcome) phrases rang out. "FIRE SOUL!" "SHABON SPRAY!" The youma snarled as the fireball slammed into its arm, making the concrete drop on top of its head. It continued to snarl as a nearly impenetrable fog quickly covered the street. Venus idly wondered how it could snarl with no mouth as she dragged herself and Sailor Moon off of the street. "Well, don't just stand there! Kill it!" Uranus growled as she limped over to the group. "I think I can manage that." Jupiter remarked before letting fly with an Oak Evolution. The youma was thrown several feet and hit the ground hard. It twitched a few times then lay still. "That didn't seem so...hard?" "Yeah, if it was so easy, why is the damn thing getting back up?" Uranus sarcastically asked as Jupiter's voice trailed off. Jupiter huffed, then started to run towards the youma. "Jupiter! What are you doing?" Venus shouted. "Hey, Ranko took this thing bare-handed! I won't have any problems, especially transformed!" Jupiter confidently called over her shoulder. She sprinted towards the youma and slammed her fist into what passed for its face. A loud *CRACK* sounded. The youma staggered. Jupiter cradled her hand and started to swear. Loudly. "Crap! That thing is TOUGH!" Jupiter called between curses. "Well, if you'd move, we'd kill it!" Uranus yelled. Jupiter squeaked and moved as fast as she could. What followed next was an exercise in futility. A pattern was quickly established: shoot the youma, watch it fall down, catch your breath, then shoot it again after if got back up. It would dodge whenever Sailor Moon launched her attack, but otherwise it just took the hits. "Why won't it just DIE?!" Mars screamed after a few minutes of continuous fighting. Mercury paused to cast another Shabon Spray before answering. "I'm working on that! I think it is dying, it just keeps coming back!" "HOW?!" Uranus yelled. "I'm working on it! Just keep it busy!" Mercury instructed as she pulled out her Computer and activated her visor. "What do you THINK we've been doing?" Uranus sarcastically asked. "WORLD DEVASTATING!" "GOT IT!" Mercury's excited scream rang out a few minutes later. "There's some kind of an energy source in its chest! Every time we inflict a certain amount of damage, it surges! That's what keeps bringing it back! Just destroy the energy source!" "Great! Now all we have to do is convince it to hold still long enough to hit it! How big is the target?" Mars called. Mercury analyzed her data again. "About two inches in diameter." Groans and, in some cases, curses met her announcement. "How are we supposed to get it to hold still long enough to hit something that small?" Mars demanded. "Venus! Use your chain! Mars, you've got the most precise attack, so get ready to hit it as soon as it's immobilized! The rest of you, run interference! Everyone got it?" Mercury quickly outlined her plan. A chorus of agreement echoed. "Good! Ready...NOW!" Everyone scattered and prepared to strike. It worked to perfection. Everyone but Venus and Mars struck nearly simultaneously, disorienting the youma just long enough for Venus to wrap her chain around its legs. Mars aimed her Sniper for the precise center of the youma's chest, and slowly let it fly.... Right into the youma's intercepting palm. The other hand held a chunk of concrete that it threw at Sailor Moon. She dodged (by falling down) but cracked her head against the curb, stunning her. "DAMN IT!!!" Mars shrieked as she ran to check on Moon. "I want that damn thing DEAD!" "That makes two of us." An angry, and non-Senshi, voice remarked from behind her. Mars had just started to snap around when a pair of silvery blurs flashed past her. They impacted with the youma's legs and chest with an evil-sounding hiss, revealing themselves to be chains. A faint smell of roasting flesh drifted on the breeze as the youma bellowed in pain. Mars finished her spin to see a human shape that, at first glance, appeared to be made entirely out of fire. Upon closer inspection, she could see that there was an actual person under the flames; it was just that fire covered every inch of the obviously feminine body. Mars slowly began to get into a ready stance. In her experience, female + weird outward appearance + anger = youma/cardian/droid/whatever. The woman(?) totally ignored her as it walked towards the youma, who was now actively trying to get out of the chains. She spoke in a voice that was almost supernaturally calm. "You destroyed my shirt. That was my favorite shirt. Kasumi made it for me last Christmas. It's the second gift I ever got. She spent weeks making it. She slaved over every seam. She spent far too much in both time and money getting just the right silk. And you...blew... IT...*UP*! YOU ARE DEAD!!" The woman's voice steadily rose in volume and anger as it spoke. By the end, Mars' eyes were wide. She recognized that voice. It was... "Ranko?" Mars squeaked out. Ranko was ignoring her still. She walked up to the youma and smiled as it finally broke the chains holding it bound. The youma slashed at her. Ranko ducked under the hand and slipped around behind the youma. She lifted her right hand and cried, "SAOTOME FORBIDDEN TECHNIQUE! AKUMA SHINFUZEN ATEMI!" Ranko's hand flashed down, there was a sickening *CRUNCH- SNAP*, Ranko drew her hand back, and the youma collapsed to the ground with a gaping hole in its back. Ranko examined the small blue gem she was holding in her hand. She snorted, then crushed the gem. As the gem was destroyed, the youma faded out of existence. As the Senshi stared in shock, Ranko walked over to a fire hydrant and kicked it, ripping it out of the ground and dousing her with a spray of water that quickly extinguished the flames that were on her. Two things quickly became obvious: one, Ranko's clothes hadn't survived, and two, Ranko was a natural redhead. "My, she certainly a...healthy girl, isn't she." Uranus remarked, only to be playfully smacked by Neptune. "Stop drooling. Or it's the couch for you." Neptune's voce was jokingly serious. Mars had other concerns. Like... "How the hell did you do that?!" She demanded of Ranko. "Do what? Survive being lit on fire? Or how did I drop the youma?" Ranko looked down at her some-what battered frame and muttered, "Blasted shrapnel. I need to learn the Bakusai Tenketsu." "The youma." Mars responded. "I ain't gonna tell ya. There's a reason they're 'Forbidden' techniques." Ranko calmly replied. "I don't like ta use 'em. They're almost always lethal. To both sides, if you do them wrong." Mars was about to ask another question when Ranko cut her off. "Hey, you see a group of girls around here? They were here when the youma attacked." Ranko craned her head, trying to see around the other Senshi. "Umm...we sent them home." Mars quickly answered. "It was too dangerous to stay here." "Ah, good. I need to find them." Ranko started to run off, but was stopped when Mars grabbed her arm. "What do you WANT?" Ranko snapped. "How did you survive that explosion?!" Mars demanded "I don't know. But I bet I know someone who does." Ranko twisted her arm out of Mars' grasp. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go ask someone a few questions." Mars watched in frustration as Ranko sprinted down the street, weaving through the rest of the Senshi like a fish through water. As soon as Ranko rounded a corner and was reasonably sure she wasn't going to be seen, she jumped to a rooftop and crouched down. As she crouched there and stared at the street, a low growl escaped. Ranko's eyes narrowed. "Time for me and her to have a nice, long talk." Ranko whispered. Unnoticed by her, multiple tendrils of black energy were writhing over her crouching form. She stood and headed out over the rooftops, on a mission to get some answers. ***************** Pluto smiled as she watched Ranko sprint over the rooftops. With an ease born of long practice, she mentally commanded the Time Gate to move forward. At first, she was just scanning a few weeks at a time but slowly built up speed until years passed in the blink of an eye. What she saw confirmed what she had suspected. Finally, she arrived at the time frame she was aiming for: Crystal Tokyo. In front of the Gate was a figure that she knew well. After all, she saw it every day in the mirror. Pluto surveyed herself through the Time Gate. A thousand years hadn't produced any real changes. One of the perks of immortality. It didn't really make up for all the downsides, though. "So, which one of us gets to be Setsuna this time?" The future Pluto asked rhetorically. "Me, of course." The younger replied with a snort. "Oh yeah. That's right." Pluto grinned. "It's time." "Yes, I know." Setsuna replied. "Are you sure about this? Absolutely SURE?" "Trust me." Pluto smiled her usual enigmatic smile. Setsuna glared at her. "I begin to see why people hate that smile." Setsuna muttered, as she reached out and started to pull the Time Gate shut. Pluto grinned. "I'll miss you too, sweetheart. Kisses!" Pluto blew a kiss at Setsuna as the Time Gate swung shut with a dull boom. Pluto the younger stared at the Time Gate for a few seconds, then mumbled to herself. "There is NO way I changed that much in a thousand years. I HAVE to be playing an elaborate practical joke on myself." Pluto shook her head, dismissing her random thoughts. She had a job to do. She walked over to the Time Gate and placed her hand on it. A brief flicker of crimson energy ran over the Gate, then Pluto stepped back. "Surprisingly anti-climatic." Pluto considered the Gate for a few more seconds, then vanished in a burst of crimson light. ****************** Pluto re-appeared in her bedroom. She should have ten minutes before 'Ranko' made her way home. Plenty of time. "Nice entrance." Of course, 'should have' and 'does have' are two widely different things. Pluto slowly turned around. Ranko was sitting on her bed, dressed in one of Setsuna's near-trademarked business suits. It fit her surprisingly well. Pluto blinked. Twice. "Excuse me? Have we met?" Pluto asked politely. "Oh, come off it, Setsuna. I've already seen the others transform. That trick ain't gonna work." Ranko snorted. Pluto shrugged as she de-transformed. "It was worth a shot. Why are you wearing my clothes?" Ranko smiled thinly. "Because my clothes are all either in the wash, need to be sewn, or, gee, I don't know, INCINERATED!" Setsuna nodded. "Oh. Well, it's okay, then. Now, if you would please leave, I have things I need to do." Ranko snorted again. "Not a chance. Setsuna, I'm tough. I'm VERY tough. But there is NO way I should have survived being IN a gas station as it exploded. Ryoga couldn't have survived that. Care to offer an explanation?" "What makes you think I have an explanation to offer?" Setsuna asked, settling into a chair. "Call it a gut instinct. Or it might be the fact that you've already admitted to knowing about my curse. Talk. Now." Ranko's voice was firm. Setsuna arched an eyebrow. "With such a gracious and polite way of asking, how can I refuse?" Sarcasm rode heavily in her tone. Ranko shot her a look. "I've been jerked around enough in my life, Setsuna. I moved out of Nerima in an attempt to get away from that crap for a little while. So far, you've been fairly honest. Don't make me file you in the same category as Nabiki." Ranko said levelly. Setsuna considered Ranko's words for a few seconds. She nodded, then rose out of her chair and walked over to Ranko. She offered a hand. "Hello. I'm Setsuna Meiou. I'm also the Senshi of Time, Sailor Pluto. What's your name?" Ranko reached out and took her hand. "Hi. I'm Ranma Saotome. Heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. I'm cursed to become a girl whenever I get hit with cold water. Nice to meet you, Setsuna." There was silence for a few seconds. Setsuna walked over to her closet and pulled out a clean blouse and skirt. She began to unbutton her blouse. "Um, don't you want me to leave?" Ranma nervously asked. "Why? I'm sure I don't have anything you haven't seen before. Or touched for that matter. Or have you forgotten the bathroom incident already?" Setsuna calmly replied, stripping off her skirt and blouse, then tossing them in the clothes hamper. "Wait. How long have you known I was cursed?" Ranma asked with a frown. "Since before the first time we met." Setsuna's bra and panties joined the rest of her clothes. Ranma studiously avoided looking at her as she walked over to her dresser for clean pairs. "Then why are you so casual about stripping in front of me?" Ranma desperately asked to distract herself. "With age comes lack of modesty. It's 'safe' now. I'm dressed." Setsuna informed him. "Although, I think I should be insulted. You act as though looking at me is the worst thing that could ever happen to you." "I know how this works. I accidentally look, you call me a pervert, then you hit me. Not gonna happen." Ranma remarked, cautiously checking to make sure she really was clothed. Setsuna snorted. "Ranma, don't be an idiot. Unlike other people, I at least will listen to you BEFORE hitting you. Besides, I was changing with you not five feet from me. If you DID look, it's more my fault than yours." Ranma stared at her in absolute shock. Setsuna smiled and patted the side of her cheek. "Don't worry. You'll get used to it." Setsuna smirked and started to walk out of the room, but was stopped by Ranma's voice. "Setsuna, an explanation for my survival? Now, preferably." Setsuna paused and looked over her shoulder with a smile. "That's simple. The Full-Body Cat's Tongue wore off." Ranma stared at her in confusion. Setsuna walked over to the bed and sat down. "What does the Full-Body Cat Tongue do?" "Makes you super-sensitive to heat." Ranma's voice was puzzled. "Right. How do you counter it?" "The Phoenix pill." Ranma answered quickly. "That's one way. Ranma, the Phoenix pill is PERMANENT. The Full-Body Cat Tongue is a pressure point." Setsuna leaned forward. "And pressure points wear off. So what happens when the Full-Body Cat's Tongue wears off and the Phoenix pill doesn't?" "The Phoenix pill makes you resistant to heat?" Ranma answered hesitantly. "I'd say immune to heat, personally. I've seen people who've taken it swim in lava." Setsuna responded. "Wait, I'm not immune to heat! What about Saffron? Or the okonomiyaki bombs? Or-" Setsuna interrupted him mid-question. "That's because the Cat's Tongue hadn't worn off yet. It takes decades for it to completely wear off. Luckily, I know the counter-points to it." "You know the counter-points? How'd you learn those?" Ranma snapped her gaze over to Setsuna. "That...is a secret." Setsuna smiled as she got up and walked out the door, leaving Ranma to stare at the doorway. A few minutes after she left, Ranma began to chuckle. Softly at first, then louder, finally resulting in a deep, full- body laugh. After a few minutes of laughter, she rose and walked to the door. Setsuna was downstairs, fixing herself some tea. As Ranma came through the door, she spoke. "I don't believe the girls need to know about your curse just yet. It would...be distracting. However, in light of who they are and what they do, I'd like it if you'd accept some suggestions from me in training them." "It depends on what your suggestions are. I ain't gonna try anything like what my pops used to do." Ranma's voice was firm. "That's perfectly acceptable. I just have a few things I would like them to work on. Tea?" Setsuna offered Ranma a cup. Ranma took a sip of the green tea, then blinked and took another. "This is REALLY good! Best tea I've ever had! And that's saying a lot after Kasumi's tea." "Lots of practice. I grow the leaves and herbs myself." Setsuna walked over to Ranma. "Hold still." "Wha?" Ranma fell silent as Setsuna placed a hand on her forehead. There was a slight tingle all over her body and her vision faded out for a few seconds. She jerked herself away from Setsuna's hand. "What the hell was that?!" Ranma demanded. "I was just checking on something. Don't worry; I give my word that nothing bad will happen to you because of it. In fact, you'll thank me for it." Setsuna finished her cup of tea and then walked out of the kitchen. As Setsuna left, Ranma heard her whisper, "And that should take care of the blocks." Ranma didn't have time to wonder what she meant by that, as the front door was slammed open and Usagi came through at a near- run. "Setsuna, have you seen Ranko?" Usagi asked as she dashed by the kitchen. "I ain't Setsuna." Ranko replied, taking another sip of her tea. Usagi froze, then turned towards Ranko. She stared at her for a few seconds, burst into tears, and ran towards her, grabbing Ranko in a crushing hug as she babbled. "Dontyoueverdothattome!Ithoughtyouweredead!Iwassoscared!Howdidyous urvive?WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!' Ranko blinked a few times then looked at the other girls who had filed in. "She do this often?" Affirmative nods answered her question. "Um, just how DID you survive?" Ami asked hesitantly. Ranko stiffened, desperately wracking her brain for a believable answer. "I did it." Setsuna calmly announced from the stairs, saving Ranko from having to try to lie in a convincible manner. There was a chorus of comprehension. "Now, everyone into the living room. It's time for your first lesson." Setsuna announced with, for her, an evil grin. Everyone but Ami groaned. ****************** "She's evil." Usagi groaned as she staggered out Setsuna's front door hours later. Setsuna had proven herself to be very good at catching Usagi when she wasn't paying attention. Usually by bouncing bits of chalk off of her. "If you'd pay attention, you wouldn't have a problem!" Rei snapped. She was covered in chalk dust too, as a result of the time Usagi had managed to somehow dodge. Rei resolved never to sit by Usagi again. The group walked down the street, Setsuna watching as they went. Beside her, Ranma snickered. "Odd bunch." Ranma commented. "Like you're one to talk." Setsuna replied. "Touche. What's in store for them tomorrow?" Ranma queried. "You." "Start training them?" Ranma's voice was eager. "Precisely." "Then you'd better not plan anything else for tomorrow. Or the next day." Ranma informed her. "Why?" Setsuna asked curiously. "I've got to find out what I have to work with. So I'm gonna work 'em 'til they puke. Then I'll work 'em some more. By the time I'm done with 'em, they'll hate my guts." Ranko calmly replied. ****************** "She's evil. I hate her." Usagi moaned from where she was flopped on Setsuna's living room floor. A chorus of moans and groans agreed with her. Everyone was firmly convinced that Ranko was a sadist. She had devised a simple way to determine what shape they were in. She simply kept going until none of them could move anymore. They started with a light warm-up exercise. Even Hotaru joined in. Then came the jogging. Hotaru dropped out after only a few minutes of this, so Setsuna carried her back to the house, then caught back up. After the jogging came more exercises: push- ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, balance exercises, stretching exercises, the list went on and on. After that? More jogging, this time at a near run. Then more exercises, then another run, then exercises, then a run, then more exercises.... By the end of the day, Ranko and Setsuna had to carry them into the house. "So, what's your verdict?" Setsuna asked, sipping at her tea. "They're in surprisingly good shape. I'm amazed. Tomorrow, I'm gonna find out what they know about fighting." Ranma took a drink of his tea, then sighed. "You know, I could get addicted to this tea." Setsuna smiled, and toasted Ranma with her cup. "You think we should make them some food?" Setsuna asked. "They wouldn't be able to stay awake long enough to eat it." Ranma replied. A chorus of snores sounded from the living room, proving her point. Ranma chuckled. "They think that was bad? Just wait until tomorrow." She paused, then nodded to herself. "No, better make it the day after tomorrow. Gotta give them time to recover, after all." ******************* The next afternoon. "All right, that concludes today's lessons. You guys are free. Don't forget to bring your exercise clothes tomorrow." Setsuna announced, receiving a chorus of groans in response to the last. As everyone got up and began to file out of the music room (that being where Setsuna held classes), Setsuna spoke again. "Not you, Ranko. You have a class that you need to make up." Ranma waited until everyone had left room, then asked, "So, what class do I have ta take now? Or did you just need to talk to me?" "No, you need to make up a class." Setsuna answered. "What class?" "Sex ed. Have a seat." Setsuna instructed, pulling out a slide projector and a TV/VCR. The house was silent for the next several minutes. Then the silence was shattered by a scream. "SAY WHAT?! YOU GOTTA BE SHITTIN' ME!!" Haruka and Michiru shared a look, then chorused, "Sex ed." Hotaru just decided to ignore them. They had just re- affirmed her conclusion that all grownups were weird. Ranko emerged from the music room three hours later, blushing like mad and trying NOT to look at anyone. Haruka laughed for twenty minutes straight at her expression. ****************** The next morning. Ranko surveyed the group of her students as they stood in two rows in the back yard. She shook her head, then spoke. "This is going to be painful. For me, that is. Oh, well. 'A martial artist's life is full of peril.' Let's do it." Ranko stepped onto the mats that covered a good portion of the yard and motioned to Ami. Ami nervously stepped onto the mats. "Now, all I want you to do is try to hit me. Alright? I'm not going to hit back, or even block. I'll just dodge. Now, come on. Hit me." Ranko arrogantly placed her hands behind her back and waited. What happened next was a foregone conclusion. Ami never even got close. After ten minutes or so, Ranko stopped Ami, and motioned for Minako. The same pattern was repeated for the rest of the group. Ranko just dodged, never striking, never even breaking a sweat. After Michiru had finished her turn, Ranko nodded and spoke. "All right. That's it for right now. Go get some lunch. After lunch, we'll go over what I need to teach you." "Um Ranko? What about me?" Hotaru hesitantly asked. Ranko smiled at her. "I already know where you are. I don't need to place you." Ranko kindly answered. She had rapidly developed a soft spot for Hotaru. The kid had a great heart. She was VERY weak, but that never stopped her from trying anything Ranko suggested with an enthusiasm that would have made Genma cry in joy. "But...I WANT to." Hotaru slowly answered. Ranko blinked, then shrugged. "All right. The rest of you guys, go get some food." Ranko instructed. "We'll be there in about ten minutes." As the Senshi walked in, Ranko was bowing to Hotaru. "Michiru, what did Ranko mean when she said she already knew where Hotaru was?" Ami asked as they walked towards the kitchen. "Oh, Ranko's been teaching Hotaru some Tai Chi. Hotaru really likes it, oddly enough." Michiru replied. "I was a bit worried at first, but Ranko's extremely gentle with her." "Yeah, she's great with her." Haruka interjected. "Hotaru's been having the time of her life learning from her. Heck, if I didn't know better, I'd say-" Whatever Haruka was going to say was cut off by a loud *THUMP* against the back of the house. Everyone whirled. "That came from the back yard!" Haruka exclaimed. Everyone rushed towards the back door. When they reached the back door and piled outside, the sight that met their eyes made them stop and stare. Hotaru was crouched by the back wall of the house, a thoroughly unconscious Ranko at her feet. Hotaru was shaking her lightly, calling her name. Haruka dashed over to her and laid a hand on Hotaru's shoulder. As soon as she touched her, Hotaru whirled, pressed her face into Haruka's chest, and started babbling. "Ididn'tmeanto!WewerejustsparringandRankowaslaughingandthens omethinghappenedandRankowasflyingandshehitthewallofthehouseandNOWS HE'SDEADANDIT'SALLMYFAULT!" Hotaru burst into tears. Haruka quickly wrapped her arms around Hotaru and started to try to sooth her. Michiru kneeled next to Ranko and felt for her pulse, then sighed in relief as she felt a strong, steady beat. Ranko started to twitch, then moaned. Her eyes slowly opened. Michiru noticed that there was a large, rapidly-forming bruise on her left cheek. "Wha tha hell hit me?" Ranko slurred. Michiru's voice was cheerful as she answered. "Hotaru, apparently." "Really?" Ranko still seemed a bit groggy. "Yes." Ranko looked at Hotaru and gave her an unsteady thumbs-up. "Good job! Oooo, look at all the stars." And with that, Ranko passed out again. ****************** "So, let me see if I understand this." Setsuna leaned back in her chair and looked at the ceiling. "Ranko and Hotaru were sparring, the rest of you were going to get some food, you heard a thump, you went outside, and found Hotaru kneeling over an unconscious Ranko? Is that correct?" "Pretty much, yeah." Haruka replied. She glanced over to where Ranko was stretched out on the couch. "Ranko will be fine. I truly doubt Hotaru can do anything too serious to her. I'm more interested in Hotaru." Setsuna rose out of her chair in walked over to Hotaru. Crouching down, she looked in Hotaru's eyes. "How did you manage to hit Ranko?" "I...I'm not sure. We were sparring, and I just KNEW what she was going to do! Then I...hit her." Hotaru glanced over to Ranko. "Can I heal her?" "She's rattled at most. She'll be fine. Now, I want you to do something. Keep your eyes on my finger." Setsuna lifted the first finger of her left hand and held it in front of Hotaru's face. Hotaru followed Setsuna's finger as she moved it in various directions. A slightly puzzled expression grew on Hotaru's face. "Setsuna-mama, why are you doing this?" "Oh, just want to see something." Setsuna's voice was casual. "What?" Hotaru asked, following the finger as it moved way over to her right. "This." Setsuna's right hand shot out in a blur, aimed at the side of Hotaru's face. In one impossible-fast motion, Hotaru jerked her head back towards Setsuna, slapped aside her hand, jumped back a few feet, and sank into a ready position. Setsuna calmly nodded and massaged her right wrist. "I thought so. You just remembered a bit of the training Nemesis gave you." "Nemesis trained me?" Hotaru asked, dropping from the ready stance. Setsuna nodded. "Of course. He was the only Chaos mage that was qualified. He was in charge of you teaching from the time you were four." "They gave Nemesis a four-year old to train? Why?" Rei asked. "I had other responsibilities, and no one else wanted to do it. Or could do it, for that matter." Setsuna's reply immediately quieted their questions. "Now, let's go get some lunch. Ranko will wake up in due time." ****************** Ranma dreamed. He KNEW it was a dream. You didn't normally find yourself floating in a black void, after all. Well, okay, with HIS life maybe you did. But it had the feeling of unreality that marked a dream. He swiveled around, trying to figure out what was going on. A twinge at his jaw reminded him of how he had gotten here. He reached up and rubbed the spot where Hotaru had clocked him. "Yeah, Saturn always COULD land a good punch. Weird, considering the fact that she didn't like to fight." A voice said from behind Ranma. Ranma flipped around. Standing upside-down behind him was the guy from his dream a few days ago. The guy from the mirror. "So, how's your day been?" He asked politely. Ranma tensed. No one EVER asked him anything politely except Kasumi. Unless they wanted something. Or were about to try to kill him. "Oh, get over it!" Nemesis spat. "If I wanted to attack you, I would have already! Dumbass." Ranma responded with Saotome Taunt #7: "Flip them the bird and grin." Nemesis raised an eyebrow. "Well, THAT was refined. Serenity would have LOVED you." Nemesis commented drolly. Ranma responded with another grin. "Screw you. I hate people who try to jerk me around." Ranma replied as he flipped the other bird, too. Nemesis sighed and shook his head. "I'd love to stay and chat, but it's almost time for you to wake up. I'll talk to you later. I PROMISE that." Nemesis grinned widely. "Now you might want to wake up before Uranus gets any closer with that bucket." Ranko cracked her eyes open. Haruka was creeping towards her with a bucket. Ranko smirked to herself. Haruka had a HUGE grin on her face and a look of obvious anticipation. One step...two steps...three steps...four steps. Perfect. *SWISH* *CLANG* *SPLASH* "AAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" "Nice try. Don't ever try to sneak up on me." Haruka glared at her, then started to grin. "Yeah, so I can't sneak up on you. Big deal. *I'VE* never been punched out by Hotaru." Ranko winced. "Ah, shut up." Haruka started to laugh loudly. "Just wait. After lunch, I start hitting back in the sparring." Haruka's laughter died a painful death. ****************** "So, how good are they?" Setsuna asked, refilling Ranma's cup of tea. They were currently sitting in Setsuna's office at the back of the house. It was tucked back in a little used corner of the house and was easy to overlook. (Which was the reason Setsuna used it.) Ranma lifted his cup and took a long drink. He was rapidly coming to enjoy these little sessions. Not only could he switch back to a guy, Setsuna was a pretty good conversationalist. And she made a cup of tea that Kasumi would...well, not kill or even maim for, but maybe severely frown at you. Ranma considered for a few seconds to gather his thoughts. "Overall, they're amazingly good. They fight like they've got a lot of experience doing it. But they've all got some bad habits." Ranma leaned back into his chair as he spoke. "Ami. She's WAY too defensive. She never tries to strike. And you simply CAN'T win a defensive fight. But her defenses are very good." "Ami doesn't like to fight. She prefers a support role." Setsuna informed him. "That's all well and good, but she need to learn that sometimes you gotta fight." Ranma moved to the next person. "Minako. Out of all of them, she moves like she's got the most experience. She's the best all 'round, but doesn't excel anywhere. She shows good tactics, and good decision-making in a pinch. I really can't find much to fault with her. "Usagi. Oh, boy. She's...." Ranma's voice trailed off. "That bad?" Setsuna asked. "It's weird. She stumbles, trips, falls, and is just plain klutzy! But EVERY TIME she fell, she managed to hit me! If I didn't know better, I'd SWEAR she was using Drunken Kung Fu! It's crazy! I'm debating on whether or not balance and coordination exercises are a good thing or not. "Rei loses her temper WAY too quickly. She's taken some basic karate, but nothing too advanced. Control exercises. Lots of them. "Makoto. She's probably got the most training, both formal and practical, but she STILL jumps in too quickly and relies too much on power. Speed and precision practice. "Hotaru. She's too weak. She just needs to build up her strength. She learns REALLY fast, though. Almost as fast as me. It's weird. It's like she's remembering instead of learning, almost." Setsuna broke in. "You made Hotaru spar against you?" "Naw. Hotaru's a great kid. She WANTS to learn with an almost insane hunger. She'll be a great fighter one day." "Hotaru is tired of being weak, and sick of the other kids picking on her." Setsuna explained. "Picking on her? WHY?" Ranma's voice was incensed. Setsuna sighed. "Hotaru can heal herself and other people. Because of that and her weakness, she's made fun of." Ranma's face hardened. "Not any more. After a few weeks with me, she'll mop the floor with them." Ranma growled a little, then resumed her prior subject. "Haruka. Relies too much on her strength. She's got the speed to back it up, but doesn't think far enough in advance while fighting. "Michiru. She's WAY too formal. She's taken some karate and it shows. She stays in the forms too much. I need to break her out of them. "And that's it. Overall, they're pretty good for the training they've had." Ranma settled back and took another drink of his tea. "You forgot one." Setsuna informed him. "I did? Who?" "Me." Setsuna smiled. Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Is that a challenge?" Ranma asked calmly. "If it needs to be." Setsuna answered. "Great. We'll spar after we're done here." Ranma pulled a list out of his pocket and gave it to Setsuna. "Can you get me this stuff?" Setsuna took the list and read it. Her eyebrows lifted. "Yes, of course. But why would you need these?" Ranma grinned. "Why else? Training. I need those to use a method I picked up from a Special Ops group in the USA." Setsuna slid the list into her pocket, then stood. "Let's go. I want to work some kinks out." "Aren't you going to change out of your suit?" Ranma asked pointing at her skirt. "Why?" Setsuna asked. Ranma shrugged. "Okay, your funeral." Setsuna just smiled. ****************** The next morning. Haruka sighed as she sat down. Ranko had been curiously absent this morning, which meant she was still dry for once. She nodded thanks to Michiru for the cup of tea and the plate of food she was handed. Hotaru yawned as she reached for the milk. "Rassum frassum little....'I've taken a few classes.' HA! A few classes my ass!" Ranko muttered as she walked in and opened the fridge to get some orange juice. Michiru filled a plate and started to hand it to Ranko as she turned. Then Michiru froze and the plate shattered on the ground. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Michiru nearly screamed. Haruka and Hotaru snapped around to see what was wrong. Both of them started to gape. Ranko smiled a thin, painful smile. The entire left half of her face was bruised and that eye was nearly swollen shut. "Me." Setsuna answered from the doorway. "I got a little carried away. If you think that's bad, you should see her side. I TOLD her not to try that side kick." Ranko just muttered some more and grabbed a plate of food. Haruka's, to be exact. Haruka started to complain, but was stopped by the look in Ranko's good eye. She leaned back and lifted her hands in a surrender gesture. Ranko rapidly consumed the food, then limped out of the kitchen, muttering all the way. Setsuna caught her arm as she passed by her. "I got the things you wanted." "That was fast." Ranko managed to get out. "It helps if you know the right people." Setsuna shrugged. "Great. Field trip. Forest. Set it up. I'm taking a LONG, HOT shower." Ranko continued in her trek out of the kitchen. Haruka raised an eyebrow. "Field trip?" Setsuna smiled. "We need to study botany. And Ranko wants to...train." Haruka smiled nervously. "Should I be worried?" Setsuna started to chuckle. Haruka took that as a yes. ****************** "Pass me the red bean buns, please." Ami politely asked Makoto. The entire group was sitting on a blanket in a small meadow. The meadow was, of course, in a forest. The forest was a short way outside of Tokyo. No one was really sure where Setsuna had procured a van large enough to hold everyone, but she managed. Ranko had shoveled in her food with her usual speed and had wandered off towards the van. She was currently rooting around in it, looking for something. "Setsuna-mama, what are we doing after lunch? Looking at more plants?" Hotaru asked, reaching for another sandwich. "No. Actually, we're going to be playing a little game." Setsuna smiled, almost evilly. Haruka froze. An equation was running through her head. Setsuna + smile + yesterday's comment about training + a 'game' = trouble. "YES! FOUND 'EM!" Ranko's voice sounded from the van. "Found...what?" Haruka slowly asked. She just KNEW she wasn't going to like this. Ranko was smiling too widely for that. "These." Ranko opened a duffel bag and dumped its contents on the ground. Haruka frowned as she contemplated the pile of equipment. It looked like common BMX gear: chest protectors, gloves, and facemasks. She reached over and picked up a facemask then frowned. "This isn't what I think it is, is it?" Haruka slowly asked. "That's a paintball facemask. Ranko suggested we try paintball to have some fun." Setsuna commented casually. "You've tried it before, Haruka?" "Yeah. After-race victory party when I was in the States. It was fun. How'd you lear--Never mind." Haruka broke off her question and turned to Ranko. "Where'd YOU play?" "Arizona. Learned from some Army guys when I was there learning their style." Ranko answered as she pulled on a pair of fingerless gloves. "What the heck is 'paintball?'" Usagi interjected. Ranko grinned. "Trust me, you'll love it." Haruka groaned at the obvious enjoyment in Ranko's voice. ****************** Nabiki smiled as she hung up the phone. Life was good. She had been making a substantial profit from selling the remainder of her photos of Ranma's cursed form. Kuno had gone nuts for them shortly after Ranma had left. Added to the lack or repair bills, it made a hefty sum. Nabiki lifted her arms over her head, clasped her hands together, and leaned back in her chair, listening to the cracks and pops that emanated from her back. She made a mental note to get a better chair. "Hello, child." A dry, elderly voice said from behind her. Nabiki slowly returned her arms back to her sides and turned around. Cologne was sitting on her bed, calmly packing her pipe. "Don't you DARE light that in here." Nabiki warned. Cologne cocked an eyebrow. "And why not, pray tell?" Cologne asked, lighting a match. "Kasumi would get upset. And I'll send her to you." Nabiki calmly responded. Cologne flinched and rapidly extinguished the match. "So, what can I do for you?" Nabiki asked, smirking. "Where is Son-in-law?" "How should I know? He vanished, remember?" Nabiki answered sincerely. After all, once you learn to fake sincerity, the rest is easy. Cologne smiled thinly. "Don't even try to lie to me, child. I was lying better than you before your grandparents were even a possibility. Just tell me what I want to know." Nabiki considered her options. She could: try to lie to Cologne and maybe get away with it, try to lie to Cologne and get caught, or just say the hell with it, tell her what she wanted, and try to make a profit. An easy choice, really. "Tomobiki." "No address?" Cologne asked sarcastically. "Just look for the chaos and follow it in." Nabiki instructed her. "Good point." Cologne snorted as she exited via the window. Nabiki considered the window for a second, then turned to the phone and began dialing. "Hello? Ukyo? Look, I've got some info on where Ranma is...." Fifteen minutes later, Nabiki was several thousand yen richer, and the rest of Ranma's fiancee's were on the way to Tomobiki. Nabiki snapped her fingers as she remembered something. She quickly dialed the number for her main Tomobiki contact and impatiently waited for it to be picked up. Finally, the phone was answered. "Susan?" Nabiki asked. "Yes. What is it, Nabiki? I'm kind of busy right now." Susan calmly answered. "Listen: You know that guy I had you following and sending me info on?" "Ranma Saotome? What about him?" "Was there anyone else I had you following? I need you to tell him something. Cologne is on her way. So is the rest of the Wrecking Crew. Cologne pried it out of me. The shit is about to hit the fan." "Right. I'll let him know." "Good." Nabiki hung up her phone, swearing. She hated this. She was going to look bad. In front of RANMA, no less. Setsuna closed her cell phone, smiling faintly. TBC.... ***************** Author's notes: Okay, not much action. Sorry. This chapter would actually be counted as 'filler,' actually. But filler is important. (Hey, I got it out in near-record time for me! Stop hounding me! *sobs*) First thing: AKUMA SHINFUZEN ATEMI = Lit. "Devil Heart Failure Strike." (Behold the power of a translator program!) Now, on a little note, you may have noticed the weird way I'm using the Ranko/Ranma thing. Here's the explanation: I use the appropriate gender pronoun unless it's an internal thought, then it's always male. I use Ranko/Ranma depending on who's there. If everyone there knows about the curse, I use Ranma. If not, then I use Ranko. Easy enough, right? (Please tell me you understand!) Anyways, this is dragging on and I'm babbling. Ja Ne! Slacker rheins@pmt.org Alpha draft: 04/01/01