Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing!!! I can wish all I want…but it will never happen!
Warnings: Relena-bashing, language, OOC
Summary: All the guys are bored and lounging around. Not gonna say any more…
All five pilots were seated at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Heero was reading the newspaper, Duo was playing with the end of his braid, Quatra was staring at the table cloth, wondering if the next one he buys should have a floral design, Trowa was being…well Trowa, and Wufei was polishing his sword.
“Duuuoooo!”
All five pilots jumped as they heard the screechy voice.
Duo turned his head towards the door, as it was slammed open.
Hilde stood at the door, smiling at Duo. She walked into the kitchen and sat in Duo’s lap.
“Ohayo!” Hilde chirped.
“O…hayo.” Duo said, eyes wide with fear. He got up, standing Hilde up.
“What’s wrong baby?” Hilde asked.
“Hilde…I hate to tell ya this but…you sounded exactly like Relena.” Duo replied.
“Honto?” Hilde asked calmly.
“Hai.”
“Oh.” Hilde said, turning her back to Duo and the others, and walked out of the house, closing the door behind her.
All five pilots blinked.
“O…kay. Now that was freaky.” Duo said.
“Yeah…I know.” Quatra said.
“Hn.” Heero grunted.
“…” Trowa said…or didn’t say. O_o
“Onna.” Said Wufei.
The door opened again, with Hilde standing there.
Everyone watched her as she walked back over to Duo.
“Ohayo!” Hilde chirped.
“O…hayo,” Duo replied, frightened again, “Ano…where did you go?”
“Oh…I had to go a collect myself. The thought of sounding like Relena freaked me out. I’m taking therapy classes because of that stupid blonde!”
“Oh…I’m so sorry Hilde.” Duo said as he huggled her.
“It’s okay…my Therapist says I’m getting better.”
“That’s great!”
“I’ll soon be free!”
“Sugoi!”
The other four pilots watched as Duo and Hilde chattered on.
“Heeeeroooo!”
“Aaaaaahhhhh!” screamed all the pilots and Hilde.
The door slammed open, revealing Relena, wearing a…can you guess? A pink dress and heels!
Relena ran into the kitchen, almost tripping. She stopped in front of Heero and flung her arms out.
“Heeeroooo! You’ve finally found me, so come and kill me!” she yelled.
“Onna! You’re the one that came here! And stop yelling, he’s right next to you!” Wufei yelled.
Relena ignored the enraged Chinese man and stared lovingly at Heero.
Heero stood up, pushing the seat behind him. His hand went to his back, and retrieved a gun. He pointed it a Relena, who gasped in shock.
“Fine. I found you. Now you die.” Heero said in monotone.
Relena stared at Heero, trying to make puppy dog eyes.
“Pssh…that don’t work, Ojou-san.” Duo said.
Everyone stared at Heero, waiting for the next move.
“Wait!” Duo yelled, latching himself on Heero’s arm that held the gun, “I know I’m going to regret this for the rest of my life, but…You can’t kill her, Heero.”
“Yes, I can. Watch.” Heero replied.
“No! Heero, she’s the only one that can keep the peace on the colonies. If you kill her, all hell will break loose!”
“Sounds fine to me. I like to fight.”
“Gah! How can you say such a thing!?” Duo yelled, letting go of Heero’s arm.
Duo walked over to Hilde and hugged her.
“Hee-chan! If ya kill her, then there will be no time for me to be with my Hilde-bear!” Duo said, hugging Hilde tighter.
Heero sighed. He knew he didn’t want to fight anymore. He lowered the gun and grunted.
I knew you loved me!” Relena yelled.
“Like hell I do! I just don’t want anymore wars!” Heero said.
“Sure Heero…I believe you.” she said, winking at him.
Heero cringed at the blonde.
Duo and Hilde were giving each other Eskimo kisses, giggling and saying sentimental words.
“Gah! Get a room! Onna!” Wufei yelled.
“Oh Heero! We’ll be a better couple than those two junk yard owners!” Relena yelled.
“Nani!? Kisama!” Hilde yelled, stomping up to the blonde.
Relena stepped back, fear in her eyes.
“Listen Blondie! First of all! Duo and I are very happy and there is no couple happier than us! Got that!? Second! See him!?” Hilde yelled, pointing to Heero, “This suicidal maniac can’t stand you! He hates your guts! If you weren’t such an important person to the colonies and Earth, he would have blown your head off already! In fact, all of us would have killed you! The whole world hates you! Now get the hell outta here!”
Relena’s eyes welled up with tears.
“I…I just…Aaahh!” Relena sobbed, running towards the door. She slammed into the door, falling on her butt.
“You turn the knob, baka!” Hilde yelled.
“Bwahahahaha!” Duo laughed, pointing at the fallen Queen of the World.
“Shut up!” Relena yelled, getting back up and opening the door and slamming it as she left.
Everyone sighed in relief.
Heero walked over to Hilde and hugged her.
“I am forever grateful.” he said softly, pulling away.
Hilde smiled, “It was nothing.”
Duo hugged her, “ I love you so much!”
Trowa, Quatra, and Wufei got up and encircled Hilde, embracing her. Heero and Duo joined in.
“We love you.” they said in unison.
They stayed like that for a minute or so, not hearing the muffled noise coming from Hilde.
They finally pulled back, and Hilde fell flat on the floor, her face pale.
“Hilde!” Duo shrieked, kneeling beside her.
“Is she okay!?” Quatra asked worriedly.
“Yeah…we knocked her out.” Duo replied, lifting Hilde’s lifeless body to the living room, placing her on the couch.
“Geez…we almost killed her.” Duo said.
“Hn.” Heero grunted.
“…” Trowa said…yeah.
“Oh my…” Quatra said.
“Onna.” Wufei said.
All five pilots were seated at the kitchen table, drinking soda.
All five sighed in boredom.
Duo cleared his throat, breaking the silence.
“I hate to say this…but I miss Relena.” Duo said.
“Me too.” Quatra said.
Trowa nodded in agreement.
“I must say…it is rather quiet without that reckless onna.” Wufei said.
Heero nodded.
“I got an idea!” Duo yelled, quickly standing up.
“Uh oh…Maxwell has an idea.” Wufei said.
Duo glared at him, then turned back to look at the others.
“Well? Wanna know?” Duo asked.
His comrades nodded timidly.
Duo grinned, “Let’s get to it!”
“Okay, there. Done!” Duo said, leaning back to get a better view of Hilde, who was asleep on the couch.
All five pilots sat on the couch across from Hilde. They stared at her, Duo grinning maniacally.
Hilde suddenly began to stretch and yawn. She sat up and looked across from her. She felt herself shudder.
All the boys were staring at her, a mischievous gleam in their eyes.
“Ano…are you guys okay?” Hilde asked, standing up. She felt a bit odd, not really sure why.
All five pilots stood up. Quatra walked up to Hilde and went behind her, grabbing her wrists from behind.
Quatra started to fling Hilde’s arms around, giggling.
Hilde stood there, shocked and confused.
“Heeerooo!” Quatra yelled, imitating Relena, “You’ve finally found me, so come and kill me!”
Hilde froze, understanding what Quatra was up to.
Heero pulled out his gun from his spandex and pointed it at Hilde.
Hilde jumped back, still with Quatra behind her.
Duo suddenly latched onto Heero’s arm, “No! Heero you can’t kill her!”
Hilde looked down at her outfit to find herself in a pink dress. Realization smacked Hilde upside the head like lightning.
“Nooooo!!!” Hilde shrieked, pulling away from Quatra.
She yelled at the top of her lungs, “You freaks! How could you!?
“Well, we missed Relena-sama, so we decided to use you.” Quatra said matter-of-factly.
“It was Maxwell’s idea.” Wufei said calmly.
Duo glared at Wufei, then looked back at Hilde, who had a murderous look on her face.
“I hate you!” she yelled, running out of the house.
All five pilots were seated at the kitchen table drinking tea.
They all sighed.
Heero was reading the newspaper, Duo was playing with the end of his braid, Quatra was staring at the tablecloth, wondering if he should get a pastel colored cloth instead, Trowa was being Trowa, and Wufei was polishing his sword.
They all sighed again.
Quatra broke the silence by giggling.
“What’s so funny, Q-man?” Duo asked.
“Well,” Quatra chuckled, “I was just remembering things that Relena did. You know, being as clumsy as she is and all.”
They all sighed.
“Remember when she came back to Earth, she tripped down the shuttle stairs?” Quatra asked.
They all laughed softly.
“Remember when that onna fell down the escalator in the mall?” Wufei asked.
They all laughed and sighed.
“Remember when Hilde told Relena off, and Relena slammed into the door?” Duo asked.
“Hai. That happened today Maxwell.” Wufei said.
“Oh yeah…” Duo replied.
They all laughed and sighed.
“Relena…” they said in unison.
Well? Well???? Email me about what you think!
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