Disclaimer:  I don't own Gundam Wing or Linkin Park and their awesome song "With You."   Warnings: Angts, Death...that's it I guess                                                                           Authors note:  This is about Duo's past, well mainly Sister Helen.  It's a pretty short songfic...*shrugs*

 

With You

 

 I woke up in a dream today

To the cold of the static/ and put my cold feet on the floor

Forgot all about yesterday

    Memories.  All my memories.   None are memories of happiness.  Darkness, hate...death.  All my memories contain those.

Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore

A little taste of hypocrisy.

    No.  I *do* have happy memories.  Those beautiful eyes, that smile, and that voice.  Remembering those things...reminds me...I was loved.

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/ Slow to react

Even though you're so close to me

You're still so distant/ And I can't bring you back.

    I miss Sister Helen so much it hurts.  The way she would braid my hair and sing sweet hymns in my ear.  She was the sweetest person I had ever met.  I loved her so much.  I never thought...that I'd lose her.

It's true/ the way I feel

Was promised by your face

The sound of your voice

Painted on my memories

Even if you're not here with me

I'm with you.

    If I knew...I would have been different.  I would have done things differently.  If only...

You/Now I see/ Keeping everything inside

You/ Now I see/ Even when I close my eyes.

    She'd always do her best to cheer me up.  Always giving me another reason to believe in God.  Every time I told her I only believed in Shinigami, she'd frown, which made my heart ache.  I hated seeing her frown.

I hit you and you hit me back

We fall to the floor/ The rest of the day stands still

Fine line between this and that.

    "God is our savior.  Love Him as He loves you.  He will make everything better." she'd say with that sweet, innocent voice of hers.

    "Why do you say He will make everything better?  How can I believe you when all I've seen is death?"  I reply, anger in my voice.

    Shock and dismay.

When things go wrong, I pretend the past isn't real

Now I'm trapped in this memory.

    I wish I didn't hurt her so much.  The way I'd always counter her with my contradictions.  Seeing pain in her eyes would give me chills, filling me with anguish.  How could I treat someone I loved so much like this?

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/ Slow to react

Even though you're so close to me

You're still so distant/ And I can't bring you back.

    If only I could have realized my mistakes from the beginning.  Would things have been different?  Or would I still see those eyes, full of pain and sorrow, in my dreams?

It's true/ the way I feel

Was promised by your face

The sound of your voice

Painted on my memories

Even if you're not with me

I'm with you.

    "Do you believe in God, Duo?" she asked as she braided my hair.

    "No...but I believe in Shinigami cuz I've seen so many deaths!"  I say in a cheerful voice.

    Pain, anguish, despair, and sympathy.

You/ Now I see/ Keeping everything inside

You/ Now I see/ Even when I close my eyes

You/ Now I see/ Keeping everything inside

You/ Now I see/ Even when I close my eyes

Sympathy?  Why?  I didn't want anybodies sympathy.  I feel so...low.

    "Duo...may God...bless you." she said, coughing and gasping.

    I let out a blood-curdling scream as Sister Helen's hand went limp.

No.

No matter how far we've come

I can't wait to see tomorrow

with you.

    I hold the crucifix tightly in my hand as I gaze up into the starry night.

   "Sister Helen..." I whisper, "One day...I'll see you again.  Just...not yet."

   I turn and see Hilde perched on the porch bench. She smiles and pats the bench.  I walk over to her and sit down.  I put my arm around her shoulder.

   I had things to live for.  I had loved ones that I couldn't leave behind.

   Hilde leaned her head on my shoulder.

   I looked up and stared at the stars.

   I can't wait to see tomorrow...with you.

~Owari!~

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