You know you're a Redneck Jedi when... (by Kyle Katarn)
21B has a story to top Luke's hand, after you tried using your Lightsaber to trim your nose hairs!
You have a bumper sticker on your Starfighter that says "They'll take my blaster when they pry it from my cold, dead hands!"
You keep asking the Jedi Council to get you some camouflage robes
You have gotten in trouble for wearing your Stone Cold "WHAT?" t-shirt under your Jedi cloak
You know many people that have shot themselves while cleaning their blaster
Any wimp can open a beer bottle with their teeth - it takes a MAN to do it with the Force!
You have used your telekinetic powers: to cheat at pool, to summon a beer so you don't miss anything on TV, and to jack up your X-Wing so you can work on it
Instead of the Rebel Alliance Insignia, you have the Confederate flag on your flight helmet!
Most people use the Kessel Run to smuggle spice - you use it to run moonshine!
You use Jedi powers to take someone "snipe hunting" in the woods after dark: mind tricks to make them go along, levitation to get up in a tree and hide from them, and more mind tricks to make them think a band of Tusken Raiders is after them!
You have used the Force to go cow-tipping, so you didn't have to get your boots dirty in the pasture
You use your lightsaber to hold your hot dogs that you cook over the campfire
In your neck of the woods, all the speed limit signs have blaster burns in them
R2-D2 had to use his fire extinguisher to put you out after you tried to light a fart using Chewbacca's plasma torch!
You crashed your Starfighter while trying to use your lightsaber to swat a fly in the cockpit that was harassing you
If someone laughs at your accent, you blast them with Force lightning
You say, "Tell me again why Luke and Leia didn't hook up?"
People from where you live run from Stormtroopers, not because they fear the Empire - but because they think the Stormtroopers are the KKK on steroids!
You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac pit
Your master ever said, "My finger you will pull... hmm?"
You use the phrase, "May the Force be with y'all!"
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock-thingie to get the barbecue grill to light
You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them @#!! Yankees."
You call the Emperor "That wrinkly old geezer in the bathrobe."
