Author's Notes (AN): Well, this will be the longest chapter in this little series of mine. I am contemplating on having a sequel, in fact I have it all mapped out, but I'm not sure if I want to do so. On the other hand, this is the last part of the actual story, the "chapter" after this is the epilogue. Looking back when I rated this story, I should have rated it NC-17, but the "limey" scene up ahead isn't that graphic. Just in case, I will leave this as a warning to anyone who might be offended by the material. What lies later in this chapter is a sex scene with little to no detail. You will know exactly what is going on, but I refuse to elaborate any further. In fact, the only reason I am leaving this as rated R is because I have seen plenty of rated R movies with more then enough sexual implications then I care to go into detail about. For now, sit back and enjoy the chapter, for it will be the sub-ending, and then the door will be closed.

The opposite of Courage is Fear.
The opposite of Sincerity is Deception.
The opposite of Purity is Taint.

Hikari's point-of-view

I don't know why I'm still thinking about it. It wasn't a big deal, but when he walked in the room I couldn't help but stare. I went over to pick up my kids and apparently Miyako left Ken in charge while she went out with the baby for groceries. Well, Ken, having just left work, wanted a shower, so he took one, and got out right when I arrived. I know it's wrong, but I stared. I stood there in shock as he sheepishly blushed and looked away. "What? Did I shrink in there?"

I looked up at him, startled by his comment, "What did you say that for," I managed to ask between giggles.

"You're staring at me...."

Well, of course I was. I had not seen a man with so little clothing on, at least for two years, and Ken was temptingly attractive. Of course, I had two kids to take home, Miyako would be home soon, and he was a married man. Such a shame.

We didn't say another thing about it, but to be honest, I wish we could have. Well, then again, there are moments where I wish Takeru wasn't married to the French brat, but that's the way it goes. This is life. To think that I could've been with him. It could have been me that walked down the aisle with him. I could be happy, married to a man that's still alive, but then I wouldn't have my two beautiful children, and I would've never known the other side of Iori.

Now, that I look back on everything, I shouldn't have been so scared. I remember running from Takeru because everyone believed we should be together. Even Yamato, Sora, and my brother were trying to push us together. And poor Patamon and Tailmon, they even wanted us together, so they could be together. Takeru and I practically grew up with each other. We knew each other so well, and when I was trapped, alone in the dark ocean, Takeru was the one who found me, somehow. And yet, when I thought about it all, it seemed mapped out to me, too well planned. I didn't want my life planned like that. I wanted it to be spontaneous for once. I wanted to have control over it, not some power above me, which is what Takeru and me looked like. We looked like someone else's plan. Soul mates, something I didn't want. Yet, I now regret that decision. I was young, and I couldn't clearly see my future with Iori. I had no idea that he'd be forced to leave me.

Now, I sit here pushing my dinner across my plate, which has both girls concerned, though they don't say anything. I'm not sure why...I mean, I wouldn't yell at them or get angry if they asked, but they don't say a word. Eventually, I get up and throw away what's left on my plate and they rush to clean the dishes for me, before I can even say I'll do them. I wanted to do them. I wanted time to think by myself, and yet, the girls want to help me. 

My eyes threaten to tear so I run from the room with one thought on my mind. I miss Takeru and Iori so much, and I need comfort and love, but I do nott want to lead Ken on, especially since he is married to my best friend; but there is a dark side of me that doesn't care.

Ken's point-of-view

It's my day off, and I should be enjoying it, but I'm having little luck in that department.

"Earth to Ken. You need to let good old Dai know you're still here!"

I snapped out of my stupor for a moment and turned to Daisuke, grinning. We had the TV to ourselves for two more hours before Miyako got back from her outing with the kids, yet I wasn't watching it, and Daisuke knew. It's nice having a best friend, but sometimes it gets annoying. You can't have even on secret to yourself because somehow they know. Even if they don't know exactly what it is, they still know something's bothering you, or you want something you can't have. Daisuke's the worst one because we've even shared heart beats at one point in time, so I don't even have to say anything and he knows. What really creeps me out is that everyone says he's stupid. I have yet to see that in this boy. He may be silly, have a hard time concentrating on any one thing, never pay attention, and be very immature, but he's not incompetent.

"So, good old Dai is holding up the fort?"

"Don't try to play your way out of this one, Ken. Something's bothering you."

I think I must have blushed. He really had no idea what was bothering me, and the last thing I wanted him to know was that I was falling for Hikari. I mean, he used to have a huge crush on her, and he was pretty close to Miyako, even if they did fight a lot. Over time, their fighting proved to be brought on by how much a like they were. Miyako would do something foolish and Dai would point it to her, and she's would get upset because he was the one pointing it out. She liked to be the one pointing out the faults, and I must admit, it's funny to watch them act like kids again. I miss those days, and I secretly wish I had known these guys a lot sooner, then maybe I would have never become the Digimon Kaiser.

"Daisuke, no offense, but it's none of your business." I know I said that with a rough tone, but I can't help it. I don't want him to find out. I don't want Miyako finding out. And I especially don't want Hikari finding out. What would she think of me?

I looked around the house, embarrassed, and tried hard to change the subject. "By the way, Daisuke, where's Yuuki. You and that kid hardly ever separate!"

"He's with his mom for the week," Daisuke replied while studying our couch pattern. This not only shocked me, but concerned me, as Daisuke isn't prone to falling into lapses of depression, but this was bothering him.

"Do you regret the divorce?"

A slight spread across his lips. "No, it's not that. I just miss Yuuki when he's gone...."

"You two are more like friends than father and son...." It was strange to openly admit that fact, but it was true, and Daisuke already knew it anyway.

"Yeah.... Hey, we were talking about your problem, not mine!"

DAMN! He picked up on my scheme. Granted, it wasn't the first time, but Daisuke can be easy to get by, sometimes. I believe this isn't going to be one of those times. "What problem?" I know that was flimsy, but it was a last ditch effort to get away without having to really say anything. Well, fate must be on my side, because that's when Miyako came home with the little ones, her arms full of grocery bags.

"Miyako! You didn't?!" 

My wife gave Daisuke an irritated look, "What are you talking about?"

"You bought out the entire store again! Now what will Yuuki and I eat?"

They do this often. It's some sort of joke between them, and though I don't always see the humor, it's a sign that they get along, so you won't hear me complaining. 

Miyako, true to her nature, spat out, "Well, then you two can just move to another planet. Not only would that do me some good, but then the rest of the population would be able to eat more often!"

Daisuke scowled at her, unsure of how to respond. This happens often when they bicker in this manner, and Daisuke is left with two options: either throw out a comment that isn't nearly half as intelligent, or sulk. He usually opts for the later, but occasionally he goes for the former and really makes himself look like an idiot.

My night was finally starting to look up, after all, Miyako and Daisuke were having fun and I was starting to relax, but then Miyako asked something strange. Something that I wished she had never asked. "Ken, did Hikari come by?"

I couldn't help what I did after that; I choked. I felt my face flush at the mere thought of her standing there, and I silently prayed that Miyako wouldn't notice I was blushing, but while I concentrated on Miyako not seeing my face I had forgotten about one other person in the room, Daisuke. 

His eyebrows lifted in a questioning manner, and then they knitted back together in a sly twist as he smirked. 'DAMN!' I cursed at myself as Daisuke reached an actual epiphany.

"Well, Ken, did she?!"

"Oh, sorry Miyako.... No, she didn't...why do you ask?"

"She was supposed to come and get this recipe I left on the counter. Didn't I tell you before I left!" Her eyes were popping out of her skull, and I knew she angry at being ignored. Now she was also blaming me for not knowing why Hikari would be coming over, but quite honestly, she never told me about that recipe, or Hikari. I swear it!

I looked down, still blushing; this time I was embarrassed that I hadn't known anything. I'm always very observant, how could this have slipped by me. I never saw her put the recipe on the counter, I certainly didn't remember anything other than her leaving. "Miyako.... I don't remember you telling me anything before you left, other than, 'Have a good time, sweetie!'"

"Oh," now she blushed. "I'm sorry for getting upset then." And with that the conversation was over, but from the look on Daisuke's face I could tell my trouble was just beginning. 

After Miyako left the room, Daisuke finally spoke, his voice too cheery for me. "What's going on between Hikari and you? I thought you were married!"

"I am married, you idiot!"

"Well, then what was that blush all about?"

"It's really none of you business, and besides, there is nothing going on between us."

"Oh come on Ken," He grinned as he leaned back on the couch, his eyes shining with memories from another time, when he was another person, "I'm not as stupid as everyone thinks I am. Besides," here he turned to me, and leaned closely, too close, and then took his index finger and tapped it lightly to my chest, "remember? Our hearts once beat as one, Ken. I know you. Better than your own wife, and better than you know yourself. To you, Hikari is pure, something you haven't felt since you became the Digimon Kaiser." Finally, his all-knowing arrogant look faltered, "Or at least I think that's how you feel." He turned to me, sheepishly, with his hands behind his head. "Am I right? Because if I'm not I'm going to feel really dumb."

I didn't know what to say. I had been so afraid of this happening. Sure, I had forgiven myself for what I did as the Digimon Kaiser, but I still had in it my memory. I had shoved it deep into my head, knowing that I was redeemed, but never feeling cleansed. And every time I saw Hikari....

"Ken? You okay?"

I looked up at him, tears brimming my eyes. I didn't know if I wanted to hate him for understanding, or love him for sharing something so horrible with me. Either way I wasn't alone, at least not completely.

"Oh come on. I don't blame you for it. Remember, I used to have a big thing for her too. Plus, I can see why she'd catch your eye, and it's not like you've had an affair with her. Heck, I'll help you get over her, and then you'll only think of Miyako again."

"Are you sure about that?"

I felt an arm go around my shoulders, and I was touched. When he figured out my problem I was almost sure he was going to run and tell Miyako, yet he hadn't. In fact he was willing to help me. "Thank-you Daisuke."

"Aw, for what? I haven't done anything great yet. Why don't I come over tomorrow when Miyako goes to see her parents? In fact, wasn't she going to take the entire weekend?"

"Yes, and the kids..."

"Well then, I'll keep you company then."

"Okay...."

Finally, Miyako came back to the room, a content smile on her face. "Well, all the little ones are in bed, and I'm going to turn in as well!"

Daisuke grinned up at her, "Are you really going to be gone the entire weekend?"

"Yeah..." Miyako replied with suspicion.

"Good! It'll just be us guys then!"

"Oh...." A light smile played across my wife's lips, "You mean he won't be alone then. Good. I had been afraid of that. After Wormmon passed away I've been wary of Ken's safety. At least he won't be alone.... Though I do believe I'm going to have set a few rules for you, Daisuke." She peered at him, her eyes glaring. Then, she proceeded to go off on a tirade! Rule after rule was shouted at Daisuke. She picked at every little habit that drove her simply nuts and told them he that had better behave around me because she didn't want to come back home and find that I turned into another Daisuke. I could go on, as she did, but I will pass.

After her lecture, she retired to bed and I ushered Daisuke out so I could get some rest as well. Of course, I never did get any sleep. 

It's now four in the morning, and I have yet to get a wink of sleep. To make matters worse, I can still hear the ocean.

Hikari's point-of-view

On Friday I picked up my kids only to find Miyako leaving for the weekend. We talked shortly and she explained to me that was she going to visit her parents and would be back by Sunday night. A part of me seemed almost excited at this, and I was frightened, of myself. Why was I reacting in this manner? Not only was it not like me, but I felt ashamed about it, for it was wrong. Nonetheless, she left, and as I waited for my kids to collect their stuff, he came down the hall, and stopped in the parlor, next to me. Ken.

My heart beat sped up to unnatural pace, and I'm surprised he couldn't hear it, as loud as it was, thumping in my ears. 

THUMP!

"How have you been?"

THUMP!

"Just fine, Ken. And you?"

THUMP!

"You know me.... I've spent a little time with Daisuke recently, and he was supposed to come tonight, but I think I may change my plans."

THUMP! 

Oh, why did I feel like I was being hunted? "Really? What did you have in mind for tonight then?"

THUMP!

"Let me ask you, Hikari; how lonely does it get, being in that apartment all alone?"

THUMP!!

I almost choked. Was this conversation going where I thought it was going? I thought about all of my dreams, the pain they caused, the tears, the hatred, and I just had to know; why did I feel so drawn to Ken every time I woke up screaming from one of those dreams? Was it because he too had been there, or was it something more? Something only the dark ocean itself really knew? He leaned in front of me, one hand just above my head, his eyes locked on mine as I scooted away, my back to a wall, fear resonating through me, and I liked it. This was a side of Ken I had never really seen before. It seemed ferial, territorial; he seemed more like the Digimon Kaiser again. And I was so afraid, because I liked it.

"Well, yes, Ken. I am lonely, but there isn't much I can do about it." I thought of Takeru and how he was taken. I had lost my chance with him, and I wasn't about to kill his bubble-headed wife to just change his mind. I guess that's one thing I really hate about Takeru; he's very loyal, just like his brother. It would take his wife's death for him to come back. Until she died he'd remain with her, through better or worse. Knowing her and him, most of it was worse...but I no longer have a say in the matter. I had my chance, and like an idiot, I blew it.

THUMP!

Ken leaned in closer, his face inches away from mine, "Yes there is."

THUMP!!

I think I almost fainted. It was too much. He had never acted like THIS before. It was almost too much, and I was starting to lose control, over my best friend's husband! 

"Mom?" Chisiki's large green eyes looked at me, puzzled. "Are we going to leave yet? Omoide and I really wanted to see Taito and Uncle Taichi this weekend."

I shook my head so it could return to the ground level of life and mumbled, "Right," as I literally pushed Ken away from me and headed out the door. He grabbed my arm, quickly, and whispered in my ear, "Call me tonight," and I know I blushed. I could feel the heat on my cheeks. Chisiki looked back at us, with suspicion growing, but then she turned back and called for Omoide, telling her we were going to "Uncle Taichi's," and when she turned away Ken leaned close to me, his breath on my ear, and he kissed my cheek, sweetly and softly. And then I made it out the door. But I don't remember a damn thing about the ride to Taichi's, or what I did once I got home.

Ken's point-of-view

I held my head in frustration and almost pulled my hair out. What had just happened? I had been hitting on Hikari! And I'm married! I tried to pull myself together, but I couldn't. It was as though someone else had taken over my body and I was somewhere inside watching it all happen, but I couldn't stop it.

A few hours later, after I had cleaned the apartment a bit, the phone rang and I smiled at it. I wasn't even surprised when I heard her small voice coming from the other end. "Ken, you said to call...."

"Yes, so I did. Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"No...." She said that so innocently, sounding like she had no idea of what I was about to suggest, and I found this erotic. I was tainting her, and she knew it, but she could act like she didn't know, so well.

"Well then, you should come over here for a while."

"But, Ken..."

"Don't say anything," I cut her off, quickly. "We'll find plenty to do, and I'd rather you be over here than all alone. At least over here, you won't be by yourself."

She paused for a moment, and then muttered, "You have a point. What time do you want me there?"

"Whenever you are ready, would be just fine."

"Okay. Bye, Ken."

"Bye."

We hung up and then I proceeded to call Daisuke, to let him know there was a change of plans for the weekend.

"Hello! Who's calling?"

"It's Ken. Daisuke, is that you?"

"Yeah, hey Ken, what's going on? I was just about to leave for your house. You want me to pick up a pizza or something?"

"Well, actually Daisuke, about tonight..."

"Ah man, I can't believe this! You're blowing off your best friend," He joked. I could tell he was about to laugh, and I wanted to keep it this way. "So what happened, Miyako didn't leave after all?"

"No she left. I just made other plans."

His voice changed, it became worried, "What other plans, Ken? Talk to me! What's going on?"

Inside I flinched, but my mouth moved on it's own, "It's really none of your concern, Daisuke. After all, you know me. I wouldn't do anything I shouldn't, and nothing is really going on, I just wished to have the night for myself, that's all."

"You're hiding something, Ken! I hate it when you do this. You scare me when you close up like this, you know that! Talk to me!"

"I can't, Daisuke, and I need to go, bye."

"KEN! Don't you dare hang up this phone, don't do this to me, Ken!" 

Click!

I looked at the phone and then ripped jack out of the wall. No one was going to disturb me, not tonight.

Hikari's point-of-view

I walked up to the door, my heart beating in my throat as I knocked on it. I couldn't seem to get a grip on myself. This felt like a dream, so surreal. I wasn't really standing in front of this door. I wasn't really about to enter that apartment and spend the night with Ken Ichijouji! It just wasn't feasible. 

He answered the door, his soft heart-shaped face glowing with a smirk, a gray outfit setting off his eyes and hair. I was in shock, I believe. Slowly, I entered, unsure of how to stop the events falling into place. Suddenly, I wondered if things might have been different had one little thing had not changed long ago. Take...no! I won't think of that!

He led me into the dining area and I sat on the floor, taken by surprise at the amount of food he laid out. "Ken, isn't this a little extravagant?"

"Not in the least bit. Try the rice. I added some shrimp pieces to it, and some bean sprouts. It's pretty good."

I looked at the dishes laid out in front of me and shook my head. "I'm not really concerned with the food." It seemed out of place to me. This was quickly going from lust to something it should not be! "Ken, I had no idea you were going to make dinner...."

"Of course. I wasn't going to make you starve."

I liked this better when I felt hunted, now I was feeling sick as everything hurled out of control.

"You don't want the food?" A hurt look crossed his face, with his sparkling blue eyes showing worry.

"No, it's not that. It smells, sounds, and looks good, but I wasn't prepared for this. I'm not really hungry right now...."

"Oh," he looked down, dejected.

I felt myself rise, but I don't remember thinking about it. I wasn't running on auto-pilot as I had been doing for while now; this was instinct. It just felt right, to me.

As I approached him, he looked up at me, questioningly, but silently. I pushed him down to the floor and then settled down on his lap, using my arms to lean over him, almost touching his lips. There had been a war raging in my mind for so long now, and I was losing, fast. The overwhelming urges became too much, and I leaned forward. Our lips met, locked and my mind shut up. 

He slowly rose from the floor, adjusting my body so he could lift me, and then he carried me to his room, my head resting on his chest, my heart pounding with uncertainty and apprehension, yet I was enthralled. There was no turning back.

Gently, he laid me down on the bed his breath soft on my neck. With swift, suave, cat-like movements he crawled above me, over me, looking down at me with hunger in his eyes. He leaned down, next to my ear, and whispered, "Make me pure. Give me light."

It wasn't a request, and I wanted to do this. Or at least, that's what I thought. I had been fighting this for so long, and I couldn't resist, not anymore. Before too much longer, my shirt and slacks were lost somewhere in his (and Miyako's) room. Emotions collided, my good judgment took a vacation, and passion took the driver's seat. I didn't want it any other way.

Ken's point-of-view

It happened so fast. Faster than I wanted it to. I wanted to savor the moment, but I wasn't giving myself that chance. Yet, I didn't mind so much. Hikari was soft, so beautiful, I lost myself in the sea of her eyes. And then I heard it. Everything in me tensed up. I don't live anywhere near an ocean, but I could hear it. Too soon, everything leading up to this point seemed too perfect. Played out, almost. It didn't seem right anymore, but then I looked into Hikari's eyes again, and forgot about those thoughts. I dismissed them completely, simply because I didn't want this to end, ever.

I felt an explosion in my mind, my soul. being with her was the closest to a bonding experience I had ever had, other than Daisuke's and my Digimon fusing together. I was one with her, I could feel her thoughts and fears. But it was not to last.

Before I could react, Hikari screamed in fear and backed up against the headboard. Her eyes started to darken, and the waves became louder. I think that's when I finally came back to my senses. I surveyed the mess before us, our clothes on the floor, the rumpled bed spread, and bile rose in my stomach. 'What have we done?' my mind shouted at me.

Hikari's point-of-view

There was an attack inside of me; on my soul. I felt a darkness start to overcome me. Had all of this come from Ken? I didn't know what to do. My instincts had led me to this point, and they were all screaming for me to fight what was happening, but I could barely breathe. I felt that I was losing, I knew I was losing, and I didn't know what to do.

I felt like I was losing my grip on the world around me. The dark ocean and the room around me kept flickering in and out of my vision. They started to blur together until I wasn't sure where I was.

Ken's point-of-view

As I looked around me in horror, I became aware of Hikari's aura. I had never felt anything so spiritual in my entire life, but now, when I had just started to notice it, it started to flicker out.

I watched in terror as she started to look like a black and white photo, phasing in and out of the room. In desperation, I reached for her, and she reached for me, but my hands went right through hers. Devastated, I tried to hold her, and managed, barely to pull her into to my arms as she whimpered.

"It's so dark," she mumbled. "I don't want to be alone!"

I gently pet her head, in an act of comfort, "You're not alone."

"Yes, I am!"

"But I'm right here!"

"No, you're not. You're not here Ken! I'm alone, and you're not here!"

I looked down at her, confused. It was a while before I understood what she meant, but when the truth hit me I was torn apart. There wasn't anything I could do. I was never meant for her, and she knew it. But I wasn't meant for Miyako either. This little escapade proved that. It would have never happened otherwise.

If things had been different, if someone else had been there, then maybe it would have never happened. Maybe that someone else could have stopped it.

She and Iori should have never been together in the first place. There was only one person who could have reached her; Takeru. But he wasn't here.

Hikari's point-of-view

I could feel my will to fight dissolving into the darkness. "I'm so cold."

I didn't want to do this anymore. I didn't want the dreams anymore. I didn't want to live with Ken's taint forever inside of me. It wasn't fair for me to have to do that by myself. Suddenly, Ken seemed so selfish, yet he was trying to hold me. At that moment, he was the only anchor I had. Then I thought about my children. They needed me, I had to fight it, for them!

Ken's point-of-view

"NO!" A soul wrenching cry came from Hikari as she started to turn translucent.

I tried to stop it, praying, willing she would stop fading, but it was all in vain.

Tears started pouring down my face as she screamed again. I felt my arms starting to wrap around themselves. When I opened my eyes there was nothing there anymore, so I curled up into a ball, pulling my knees to my chest, sobbing in hysterics. I had never meant for this to happen. I never wanted to hurt her! I tried to stop the pain in my heart, but nothing helped. I couldn't stop, and the last thing I heard was, "It's so dark"