A Crumb's Worth
Ch 2
Lonely
Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever own Digimon.
After looking the poem over a few times, Kenta wondered whether he should tell Takato about it. He didn't want to worry him anymore than he already was. Maybe there was nothing really bothering Jeri. She probably just wrote it for class. But Kenta had a nagging feeling. Jeri was his friend and if there was something wrong, he had to tell Takato, even if it wasn't anything.
Lunch came and Kenta went to sit next to Takato.
"Takato," Kenta mumbled, giving him the poem, "Jeri's poem."
Takato read it over and his hands got very clammy. "Oh my gosh," he gasped, "she wrote this?"
Kenta nodded. "Read it in class too. But she read it aloud without shedding a tear."
"I gotta talk to her about this," Takato said.
"Wait…maybe it's nothing," Kenta shrugged.
"I still have to talk to her," Takato insisted. "I…care about her so much."
"We all do," Kazu added. "But maybe she just wants to be left alone." He glanced at the poem, "see, it even says so."
"She's confused, Kazu," Takato grumbled. "She says she wants to be alone but she really needs someone. She keeps losing people. Her mother--Leomon."
"I wonder if there was a death in her family," Henry suggested, joining the others with Rika.
"If there was, she would've told us," Rika told him, "wouldn't she?"
"Something's not right," Takato said. He saw Jeri walk by him from the corner of his eye. "Hey, Jeri, come sit with us."
"There's an open seat right next to Takato," Kazu said with a wink.
Jeri hesitated and sat down next to Takato. She put on a fake smile, "hi everyone."
"Jeri, is there um," Takato began uncertainly, "something on your mind?"
"What do you mean?" she asked, twitching her nose.
Takato swallowed and laid down the poem she gave to Kenta. "This poem--"
"Oh!" Jeri giggled. "That. I was just remembering the time when my mother died, then Leomon."
Kenta let out a sigh, as if he thought Jeri would be angry with him.
"Nothing happened recently?" Takato asked. "You know, Jeri, you can tell me anything."
"I know," she said. "Thanks Takato."
"You're not mad at me showing it to everyone, are you?" Kenta questioned.
"Oh no!" she shook her head. "Actually, I've been thinking what you said in class Kenta, and maybe I should send it somewhere."
"Try the school paper," Kazu suggested. "There's nothing cool in there."
"Hey!" Kenta cried, "I write the school news paper!"
"No wonder it stinks," Kazu muttered with a laugh.
"Hey, Jeri can be in journalism too," Ryo said, "There's what, only two other journalists on the paper?"
"Four," Kenta muttered.
Jeri cocked her head, "that sounds like fun," she said. "Maybe I'll think about it."
"Really?" Kenta questioned.
"Yeah," she said, "I'll just explain to my parents that I will be a bit late to our family restaurant some days."
"Great!" Kenta said, "You can sign up now if you want. Right when you're done eating."
They ate and did some small talk. Jeri was eating spaghetti and she picked up her French bread to mouth. As she bit into it, Takato stared.
'Bread,' he thought. 'Jeri loves our bread…hmm' as his brain got cooking, Kazu interrupted him.
"Earth to Takato," Kazu said.
"What is it, Kazu?" Takato demanded hotly.
"Gee, chumly, I just wanted to know if you were gonna eat your brownie."
"Oh, yeah, you can have it," Takato said.
"Yeah," Kazu said, reaching for it.
"Hey, are you ready, Jeri?" Kenta asked, "I am if you are."
"Let me just finish my milk," she said, picking up her carton. She took a swig, dabbed her mouth with her napkin and dropped it on her empty tray.
Takato looked over her tray. Some signs of depression were loss of appetite and Jeri was eating fine. Another sign of depression was overeating and she didn't look like she was overeating either. Still, why was he getting these vibes that something was wrong?
"I think I'll come with you," Takato said, standing up.
"You want to join the journalism club?" Kenta asked in surprise.
Takato shrugged, "hey, why not? Maybe you guys can use an artist."
"I don't think they want drawings of Guilimon, Takato," Kazu said, licking his fingers.
Takato shook his head and followed Jeri and Kenta to the journalism room to sign up. This was perfect. He'll get to spend more time with Jeri and if there was something bothering her, she'd open up to him.
Kazu shrugged and reached for Rika's brownie.
"I don't think so, Kazu," she said, slapping his hand away.
****
The rest of the day seemed fine. If something was bothering Jeri for real, she wouldn't have joined the journalism club and agreed to work on the school paper. She was smiling all the time, but Takato had a bad feeling it was to cover up the hurt inside. He knew she was through a lot, losing her mother at a young age, having a strict man for a father, losing her digimon, twice--once by abandonment and again by death. She was the poor soul to pick up a piece of the chaos and bring it home on the ark. It was her who was the shell carrying the D-reaper. Poor innocent Jeri, why did it have to be Jeri? Takato would give himself to be the puppet instead of Jeri. She didn't deserve to go through that. Why did the chaos choose her? It may be gone now, but there had to be a piece still inside, making something wrong. It was about to drive Takato mad. He knew Jeri better than anyone in the group. There was something inside Jeri that wasn't right. He could feel it. Even if she was around friends and classmates, it was like she was lonely.
Takato didn't see Jeri after school and he wanted to walk her home. Maybe she went to the restaurant already. After stopping at home for a fresh change of clothes and doing his homework, he left for the restaurant as his mother was cooking dinner.
"Takato!" she exclaimed as he left the bakery.
Takato's father smiled, "I think he's going to the Katou's restaurant again. He must be either tired of bread or he likes their food."
"Or his waitress," she muttered.
"Huh?"
"Jeri, of course. He's liked her ever since they were in grade school."
"Is there something wrong about that, dear?"
"No, Jeri's a nice girl…I just didn't expect Takato to be interested in girls so soon."
The restaurant was packed which wasn't unusual. They served great food. Her brother was walking by with a bus tub with dirty dishes from a dirty table.
"Hey, Masahiko, is you're sister here?" Takato questioned.
"Takato, hi!" he said, "yeah, I just cleaned that table over there," he motioned to a clean table with his head, "sit yourself down. It's Jeri's section so she'll be your server." He winked and walked into the kitchen.
Takato sat in the table that Masahiko just bussed, pulled out a napkin from the dispenser and he looked at a small menu featuring their specialties.
"Hi, Takato," Jeri sweetly voiced. "Your usual?"
"Nah, Jeri, I'll take--" Takato looked at Jeri and was stunned. Jeri looked so beautiful in her waitress uniform, even though he had seen her in it a dozen of times, it still blew him away. It was light pink and white. She had on a small black apron and her hair was up in a perky ponytail with a visor. She had on light makeup and shiny lip-gloss and she smelled like many different things, perfume, cinnamon and bacon just to name a few. Looking at her now, Takato just wanted to take her into his arms and breathe her in.
Jeri smiled and took the pen from behind her ear to jot down whatever he was about to order.
"I'll take your, um," he looked at the small menu and held it up, "This…"
"Oh, our Philly cheese steak sandwich," she said, writing it down, "anything else?"
"A cherry soda and--um, small sundae for desert."
"Got it," she said, "I'll be back with your soda in a few." She turned to the back.
"Oh and Jeri--" he began but it was too late. He wanted to ask if she would get a break soon so that they could sit and talk. Another waitress passed Takato's table.
"Excuse me miss," Takato said.
"Oh, would you like to order, Hun?" she asked, "I can take your order if you'd like."
"No, I've already ordered. Do you know if Jeri will get a break soon?"
She shook, "I don't think so, we're pretty busy at the moment." Someone from her section flagged her over. "Oh, excuse me."
"Sure." Takato took a sip of his water and Jeri came with his cherry soda. "Your sandwich will be a few minutes, Takato."
"Not a problem," he said. "Will you be getting a break some time soon?"
"Oh, probably in an hour or so," she mumbled. "Dinner is busy. Not as busy as our lunch hour though."
"Jeri, over here," her father called.
"I'm coming," she said and went to see what it was he wanted. He looked very tired and a bit upset. Takato couldn't catch what they were talking about. Jeri nodded and went to the front counter where her mom was and told her something, then went back to her father. Takato thought it was rather odd. It seemed as though Jeri was speaking for her parents. Takato pulled his straw out of the paper and put it in his glass. He took a few sips and watched Jeri walked from table to table, seeing how their dinner was and getting to go boxes for them. When she approached the table, she had a smile on, but when she left, it disappeared. Something definitely wasn't right. It couldn't just be from how busy dinner was, because it was dying down a little now. Jeri was in this restaurant since she was a little girl. She had to be used to it by now. No customers complained about the service or food. Jeri looked happy when she was around people, but by herself, or thought no one was looking at her, she looked so empty, so lonely, and so sad. A lot like the way she looked when she lost Leomon.
What was it to make her feel that way? Could there be something Takato have done to prevent it from happening? Could he make it go away?
Jeri came to his table with his sandwich and a side order of fries. "Here you go, Takato," she said putting his order down in front of him. Takato reached up his hand and rested his palm over her knuckles. "Uh…" she bit her lip and stared at his hand. "Takato," she whispered softly. For a moment, she wasn't sure what to say. She wanted to close her hand over his and deep inside; she loved the feel of his gentle touch. But she couldn't risk it. She couldn’t stand to have anyone touch her.
Takato looked up at her, "Jeri, is there anything wrong?" he asked in concern.
"No," she lied. "I'm fine."
"You look like there's something bothering you." He said. "I've been watching you, Jeri. When you're not talking to the customers, you look so sad."
"It's nothing, really," she told him, pulling her hand back, "Er, uh, a refill on your soda?" she picked up his half empty glass and walked away before he could put another word in.
Jeri looked at his Philly cheese sandwich and fries. He really wasn't in the mood to eat but it did look very good. He started on his fries and she shortly came back with a refill on his soda also with his desert. She passed without saying a word. Takato knew for sure something was on her mind but she was closing herself up. What could be so bad that she thought couldn't talk to him about it? It certainly was something.
Takato pondered this as he ate his food. It was good, delicious, but he wasn't thinking about it. He continued to watch Jeri talk to the customers, take their orders and bring their food to their tables. He wanted to be with her so badly it hurt.
'Jeri,' he thought, 'is it that bad for you to think you can't talk to me about it?'
After he finished his food, he waited for Jeri to pick them up but she never did. He was certain that she knew he'd do this so she acted as if he weren't even there. Jeri wanted to talk to Takato about her feelings, she really did. Whenever he stopped by and she got a break, she'd sit down with him and make him a milkshake for free. Sometimes he'd stay until closing and help put the chairs up on the tables. Jeri often kidded with him that he should work at the restaurant, because he was here all the time anyway. Jeri kept glancing at Takato and he was always looking at her. There was something on her mind, but she felt that there would be no point in bringing it up. It would just make her feel worse. Takato let out a sigh and decided to give up. Jeri obviously didn't want to talk to him so he stood up, dropped a tip on the table and a note telling Jeri to call him whenever she felt the need to talk. He went to the register, paid for his meal, took a look at Jeri, who was now at his table picking up her tip and left. Jeri picked up her tip and Takato's note and watched Takato walk away from the restaurant through the window. Part of her wanted to run out after him.
Takato walked around with a solemn look on his face. He wasn't in the mood to go home yet. He stopped at the park and he looked at the place where he kept Guilimon. For a second or two, he saw his younger self with Jeri when he introduced Guilimon to her. He shook his head and the memory away. He passed the place where Jeri first saw Leomon and he left her. He saw her kneeling on the ground, crying and how his younger self wanted to comfort her. She wouldn't let him. She still won't let him help her.
"Jeri, what is it?" he said aloud. "Why won't you talk to me?" He walked on home and his parents were getting ready for bed.
"That you, Takato?" he heard his mother call from upstairs.
"Yeah, it's me," he said, closing the door and locking it.
She came downstairs, "did you have a fun time at the restaurant?"
"Yes," he replied, looking at their different breads.
"You're back earlier than usual," she said.
"They were busy tonight," he said, "it is Friday."
"You usually help them close."
"I know."
"All right, Takato, what's the matter?"
"Huh?"
"Did you order something bad?"
"No. My food was great!"
"Oh, I know, you asked Jeri to the dance and she turned you down," she guessed, "don't worry, there's plenty of girls--"
"No, mom, I didn't ask Jeri. Not yet."
"Oh. Then what's the matter?"
Takato let out a sigh. He might as well go out and say it. "I think there's something wrong with Jeri, but she won't talk to me. I was watching her Mom, and when she wasn't talking to the orders, she looked so sad."
"Maybe she was just stressed from all the work," she supposed.
"Probably," Takato said. "but I think it's more than that."
"I'm going to bed now," she said.
"I'll stay up a bit," he told her.
"Not too late."
"I won't, Mom."
His mother kissed him goodnight and went up to bed. Takato walked up the bread basket and picked up a piece.
"Bread," he mumbled. "Jeri loves our bread. I know…" he came up with an idea. "I'll bake her something, that's how I'll ask her!"
"Takato, be quiet!" his mother cried.
"Oh, sorry!" he called and put the bread away. In the morning he was going to bake the perfect bread for Jeri. Takato pulled off his clothes and reached in the drawer for his pajamas. He saw a picture of Jeri, one that he drew not too long ago. It was for his art class. He had to draw someone special in his life and Jeri was number one. It looked very lifelike and he never showed this to her. He never had the guts. He drew it so he wouldn't have to ask her for a real picture of herself. Even they were very close, he found it kind of odd. That was something a couple would do. And they weren’t a couple, were they? Takato sure wanted to be. Takato picked it up.
"Jeri," he whispered.
He looked at it for a moment or two, set it down and crawled into bed. Falling to sleep wasn’t easy. He turned on his side and his mind wandered to Jeri.
****
"Takato," Jeri mumbled, looking out the window from her family's restaurant. They were getting ready to close and she was wiping the windows. She sure wished Takato was still with her, helping her close. She felt so lonely, but she was just getting herself ready for the big loneliness that was about to start. Jeri was afraid of getting close to anyone, even Takato, because she was certain that just like her mother, Leomon, he'd leave her too.
'I'm so sorry, Takato,' she thought, sighing.
TBC
