A Crumb's Worth 3
Secrets and Apologies
I do not own Digimon.
So there!
Takato's alarm buzzed loudly and danced on top of his nightstand. His hand sluggishly moved through the dark and he turned it off. Takato sat up and yawned. He was still sleepy and yet he was awake. Sleep was hard for him, for he was still thinking about Jeri. Something was bothering her indeed and he also had a thought in his mind that she might turn him down after he asked her to the dance. Why he was thinking she would he wasn't sure. But Jeri was a sweet and attractive girl and the dance was next week. Surely someone had already asked her if she didn't think he'd ask her. But Takato was psyched about making special bread for her. He didn't care if she was asked already or not. Jeri was very special to him and he wanted to do something unique, special and thoughtful for her. She deserved it. She deserved every crumb of it.
Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Takato got out of bed and changed. Takato walked down to the kitchen, turned the radio on, tuned it to his favorite station so he'd have some tunes while he baked and turned on the faucet to wash his hands. He whistled as he scrubbed his hands for twenty seconds, rinsed and dried. Then he searched the cupboards for a heart shaped pan. That he found rather difficult, for there wasn't one.
"Oh no-" Takato muttered, "no! No! We don't have a heart shaped pan! I thought we got one for Valentines Day last year. This isn't good! How am I supposed to make a heart-shaped bread for Jeri if I don't have a heart shaped pan?"
Crazed footsteps from his parents came down the stairs. His parents were in robes.
"Takato!" his mother cried. "What's with all this noise?"
"I'm looking for a heart shaped pan," he replied innocently.
"What for?" his father demanded.
"I'm making Jeri a special heart shaped bread," he answered. "But I can't find a heart-shaped pan anywhere."
"Can't you just draw her a picture instead?"
"I want to ask her to the dance next week in a special way," he said. "I didn't mean to wake you guys up, but we open in a few hours anyway, don't we?"
His mother yawned, "that's right…well, I guess I might as well get ready since I'm up."
"We don't have a heart shaped pan, but you're an artist Takato," his father said, "You can make one."
"Oh, right," Takato said, putting an apron around him sheepishly. "Forgot."
His parents went back up stairs and Takato got the bread ingredients ready. He did his best not to goof up on adding the ingredients in a bowl as he bobbed his head to the music. Baking wasn't too hard for him, since his parents baked all the time and he'd watch them every now and then. He didn't do it much on his own but when they weren't around, he'd bake something. He took extra care now that he was making this for someone beside himself. This was for Jeri, the girl who took his heart. It had to be perfect. Both in the appearance and taste. Nothing could go wrong. Finally after mixing the flower, eggs, milk and bread-making fixings, he poured the batter in a pre-greased regular round medium sized pan and put in the oven. He set the timer for thirty minutes. While that cooked, the sweet aroma filled the air so he thought he'd better make himself something. He grabbed himself a bagel and some orange juice while he waited for the bread to bake. He checked on it every two minutes, making sure it was baking nicely.
"Come on, bake!" he said, pressing his face to the door of the oven. "BAKE!"
He was becoming quite anxious on how long the bread was taking to bake. He paced the kitchen and the timer finally dinged. He opened the oven door and looked at his creation. It smelt good, very good. It smelt better than the other breads in the whole bakery. He took it out and looked it over. It baked rather nicely. It was golden brown, like breads should look when finished baking. He let it set over the stove to cool off He remembered the drawing of Jeri in his room and went to go get it. He wrote a message on the back of it.
Jeri,
You're the nicest girl I've ever met. I'm so glad we
became friends. I want to give you a
present--my heart. I'd love it if you
can come to the dance with me next Friday so then I can have a real picture of
you.
Love,
Takato
He folded the picture twice and went back downstairs. He carefully rounded the bread out of the pan with a spatula onto some wax paper and took out a knife to carve out a heart. He rounded the sides of the bread into a heart and put the scraps aside.
'Too bad Guilmon's now living in the Digital World,' he thought, 'he'd love these scraps!'
Takato put the folded drawing of Jeri in one of the bakery to go boxes and took off his apron and baking kerchief off his head. He had flour on his cheeks and remains of batter under his nails. He went back up stairs to wash his hands and face as his parents came back down to open the bakery for another day of business.
"Please don't touch the bread in the box," he hollered, passing them. "It's for Jeri!"
Curious, his father peaked inside the box. "Wow, that is pretty good."
"You heard what Takato said, close it!"
Takato splashed warm water on his face and noticed that a few hairs were exceeding. He examined his face in the mirror. Knowing that most girls don't like guys with facial hair or at least he knew that Jeri didn't, he took out some shaving foam and applied it to his face. But since he wasn't so skilled with a razor, he cut himself a couple times.
"Ow," he mumbled. "I think that's good."
He rinsed off the excess, brushed his teeth and combed his hair and threw on some of his best cologne and went down to fulfill his mission to ask the girl of his dreams to the best event in the world.
His parents were getting ready to open the bakery as he picked up his box.
"Well, uh, wish me luck I guess," he said coyly.
"Takato, son, you have a cut on your face," his father said.
"Oh, yeah," he blushed. "I uh, had a bit of trouble shaving."
His father grinned, "Oh…I see."
"We'll see you when you get back, Takato," his mother said and Takato left.
*****
As Takato walked to Jeri's house, he practiced and prepped himself on what to say. "Hey, Jeri, we had a lot of leftover flour and I thought I'd make you something." He groaned, "no, that's so lame. Say, Jeri, I hope you haven't eaten yet, 'cause I made breakfast for ya!" Caught in his concentration, he didn't see the brown-haired girl walking in front of him and nearly collided in her. "Oh excuse me, Jeri…oh, Jeri!"
"Takato?" she looked up and she looked as if she had tears in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away before he noticed them. "Takato, hey, how's it going? Sorry, I didn’t see you."
"It's okay," he said. "I wasn't paying attention."
Jeri noticed the box and sniffed. "What's in the box, Takato?"
"Oh, um," he blushed slightly, "your breakfast."
"You made me breakfast?" she questioned with a grin.
"Yeah," Takato said, shrugging. "Come on, let's go sit down." They walked to the park and they sat at a park table. He pushed the box to her. "Well, um…home you like it."
"Takato, you know I love your bakery's bread," she said softly, opening the lid. "Oh my…it's a heart."
"Go ahead and eat it."
"Now?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah."
"Well, okay." She tore off a piece and began to eat. "I hope I'm not making you hungry eating this."
"No. I made it for you, Jeri. It's all yours."
"You didn't have to go through this, you know."
"I know. But I wanted to."
As Jeri continued to eat the fresh, sweet bread, Takato watched intently with his chin in his palm. Her eating habits were so different than Guilmon's. Guilmon would've picked up the whole bread and scarffed it down. She was more tactful and neat when she was eating. Takato couldn't take his eyes of off her, not just when she ate, but when she talked, worked. All he ever wanted to do was to be with her.
"I'm getting full," Jeri claimed, "this is so delicious, Takato, thank you so much."
"You're welcome, Jeri."
Jeri came to the center of the heart shaped bread and found the folded picture. "Hey, what's this?" She pulled it out and unfolded it. She saw the drawing of herself. "Why, it's me. You drew this? Takato, you really are an amazing artist, you know that?"
"I try," he said softly.
Jeri chuckled, "quite a baker's man too." She glanced at the other side of the drawing. "Oh." She read over the note with a troubled look on her face. Her hand began to shake. "Takato--"
"Jeri, how would you like to go to the dance with me next Friday?" Takato asked, trying to keep himself calm. "I mean…if you're already going with someone else…"
"I'm not going to the dance with someone else, Takato," she said.
"Oh? So," he ran his hand through his light brown hair, "Then what about the idea of us going together."
Jeri smiled and sighed. "Takato, I'd love to go with you…but I can't. I'm sorry."
"You can't?" he asked, trying to hide his hurt.
Jeri tried not to meet his eyes. "Maybe you can ask someone else. A friend of mine hasn't been asked yet and--"
"I don't want to go with someone else, Jeri," Takato told her, "I want to go with you."
Jeri bit her lip. "Oh Takato…you're so sweet, really."
"Why can't you go? Do you have to work?" he leaned forward. "I'm sure your parents will let you off."
"Oh no, I don't have to work," she said. "The restaurant will be closed Friday night."
"Then you'll be able to come."
Jeri put her hands in her lap and became nervous. "No I won't."
"Jeri, listen, I made you a special bread with my own two hands," he said firmly, "I made certain it was perfect. I was expecting you to say yes and you tell me no."
"It's not that I don't want to go with you Takato," she said before he got any angrier. "Really, I'd love to go with you. It's just that…I can't."
"You don't already have a date," rising to his feet with his palms on the table, "you won't be working, and you do want to go with me so why can't you come Jeri?" Takato questioned. "At least tell me why. Please."
"Takato…" she sniffed, her eyes tearing up. "I can't tell you."
"What can't you tell me?" he demanded, "Come on, Jeri, we're friends. Friends should be able to talk to friends about anything." He walked to the other side and knelt down in front of her. "There's something wrong, is there? I've always sensed something was the matter. Now what is it, Jeri? Please, tell me."
"I can't tell anyone, not even you, Takato."
"Jeri, for the love of God, tell me what's wrong!" he cried, putting his hands on her arms. "Tell me!"
Unable to hear anymore of his crazed pleading, Jeri pushed him back. "Fine, Takato, you really wanna know why I can't go? Why I can't go to the dance with you? I'll tell you, since you asked so nicely!" She stood up, "I can't go with you to the dance next week because I'll have to be in court that day! My father and step mother are getting a divorce, there, now are you satisfied?"
Takato stared in disbelief. "A…divorce?"
"Yeah," she mumbled. "You just had to dig it out of me, didn't you? When I said I couldn’t' go, why couldn't you just drop it?"
"I'm sorry Jeri, I had no idea it was that serious."
"Well, now you know."
"When…when did this happen?"
"I can't talk about it."
"Come on, Jeri."
"They stopped talking to each other and when they did talk to each other, they'd argue. This morning my stepmother left with Masahiko."
Takato was reminded of last night. He didn't see Mr. or Mrs. Katou anywhere near each other. Masahiko, Jeri or another employee would walk back in froth to them, talking for them. It made sense, but how come Jeri never told him they were having problems?
"I don't get it," Takato said, "why didn't you tell me about this before?"
"Oh, come on Takato, do I really have to spell it out for you? I didn't want you to know, okay? Everyone who gets close to me disappears! My mother, Leomon, twice may I remind you, now my stepmother and my half brother. You think after everything I've been through, I want to share my new adversity with you?"
"Jeri…"
"I'm jinxed. That's all there is too it. I just can't keep anyone around. If I get any closer to you, Takato, you can be next."
"That's not true, Jeri!" he exclaimed, reaching for her.
"Stay back!" she cried, slapping his arm and stepping away. "I'm serious, Takato! I have the kiss of death! I don't want to make you disappear. I'm sick and tired of making everyone who get close to me disappear. The only way to stop it," she paused and looked at the ground, "keep people from getting close to me."
"Please don't do this, Jeri."
"Takato, after everything that has happened to me," she said her eyes filling up with tears and washing down her cheeks, tears that Takato wanted nothing more than to kiss them away. "What choice do I really have, huh?"
Takato stood unable to move. He couldn't bear to see her in so much pain, so confused, so hurt. He wanted to take her in her arms and hold her, assure her that everything will be all right. It was really all he wanted to do. But he was frozen stiff. He just couldn't believe that Jeri has turned cold and refused his offer to help her but at the same time, he couldn’t blame her for doing so.
"I'm so--so sorry Jeri," he said, his own tears forming in his eyes, "I just wish there was something I can do to make the pain go away. I'd hate to see you go through this alone."
Jeri smiled through her tears, "there you go again, Takato. Being sweet again, apologizing for something you never did wrong. You didn't know it, Takato, but I heard every word you said to me on that train."
"You did?" he asked, surprised. "How come you wouldn’t talk to me?"
"I wanted to talk to you, Takato," she said honestly. "I wanted to tell you not to be sorry. I wanted to thank you for all those nice things you've said. I tried to talk to you, but the d-reaper wouldn't let me. It was taking control of everything I could say and do. But I was able to say something and all I could do…was just read the nuturion facts on the back of that lunch you brought for me."
"Jeri…"
"It wasn't your fault that I went to the digital world with you guys. I decided to go so that I can see the Digiworld with my own eyes, so that I can be with you, Takato. It's not because of you that Leomon's dead. You weren't his tamer, I was. I should've done something. It's not even Beezlemon's fault that Leomon died. The poor guy was confused and alone and he took it out on us. I had enough cards. All I had to do was be strong like the rest of you guys and stood up to Beezlemon and used a digimodify card. But I didn't. I just stood there and for my cowardice I lost my partner. I'm just not strong like everyone else. Like you."
"Of course you are, Jeri. You're about as strong as all of us. If not stronger."
"Oh, right," she said sarcastically, "I'm strong all right. I've got a lion's heart. I gotta be strong. Well I can't right now, okay? I'm just not strong enough because I've never been strong! I wasn't strong enough to prevent the chaos from falling us home, was I? I shouldn’t have picked up that piece of the chaos. I knew it was dangerous but I was drawn to it for some reason. It's my fault that it almost destroyed both the digiwolrd and Earth. If it weren't for me…Leomon would still be alive and the D-Reaper would never had gotten into Earth."
"Don't blame yourself, Jeri," Takato said. "You were hurt. I should've been the one to pick up that piece of the chaos, not you. I wish I was the one who lost my partner and brought the D-Reaper into the real world so you wouldn't have to go through all that pain."
"That is so sweet of you, Takato," Jeri said, holding her palms together in front of her mouth. "I really appreciate all you've done, but I think it would be best if we don't talk to each other anymore. Bake another heart shaped bread for someone. I'm not worth the trouble, Takato."
"Yes you are," Takato insisted, "You're worth every crumb."
"Stop it! Just stop it!" she shouted. "You keep saying things I want to hear. I know you're trying to make me feel better, but what would really help, if I just stay away from you guys. I have to be alone…I'm…I'm sorry, Takato." She turned and walked away.
"Let's talk about this some more," Takato said, coming after her, "Jeri, wait! Don't leave." He stopped. He knew he couldn't keep her from wanting to be alone. Jeri looked over her shoulder and pressed on. Takato sighed and went to the table and sat on top of it. He pulled off a piece of the bread he made for her and chewed on it. He was certain that she would say yes and by now they would be celebrating and picking out things they would do that day. Takato dreamed of how things would turn out that day but sadly, all the dance would be now still be just a dream.
TBC
