10.) He is secretly the love child of Xelas and Phil.
9.) Luna works undercover for him.
8.) He doesn't actually KNOW what's going on.
7.) He keeps a lock of Filia's hair under his pillow.
6.) He doesn't actually HAVE eyes - it's just an illusion.
5.) He had an affair with Phil's wife. (Naga.....)
4.) He works weekends as a stripper.
3.) Valgaav used to be a girl.
2.) He got his staff at Goodwill for five bucks.
1.) Oh, come on now, that's obviously a secret!