Alright, no one belongs to me.
(*sweatdrops* That did not sound right at all)
Probably the Dumbest and Most Random Story Ever
Van was sitting in his room, playing with his Escaflowne Action Figures. He took his
figure and made it walk towards Dilandau. “Ha ha, Dilandau! It looks like I, Van Fanel,
the greatest, super duperest, handsomest, smartest, strongest, bravest warrior there
ever was, is, and will be in this universe, has captured you, the so-called fearless
Dragonslayer leader! Do you have any last words?!”
He then made the Dilandau doll fall face down on the table, and his most and annoying
and weakest voice, made him whimper, “Please all great Lord Van, forgive me! I would
never attacked your country if I knew I was facing you, great warrior. My Dragonslayers
and I have nightmares of you, and bow at the mention of your name. Have mercy on
me!”
The Van figurine jumped on Dilandau, crushing him many times. “Never! Take that, and
that, and this, and life insurance!”
When the Dilandau was “dead”, the Allen figure came and bowed before the Van
figurine, announcing, “You are truly better than I could ever be. Those other times when
I beat you in battle was because I cheated. I am forever beneath you.”
The real Van picked up the Hitomi doll and his figure and made them get close. “Oh
Lord Van,” he shouted in the voice he thought to best match Hitomi’s, “you’re so strong
and handsome. I just want to kiss you all over.”
He pushed the two dolls together, rubbing their bodies next to another, making kissy
noises. There was a soft knock on the door, causing Van to jump up and cover the
figures with a blanket before Hitomi walked into the room.
She noticed his flustered face and the bulge under his bed coverings, and slyly smiled.
“You’ve been playing with your dolls again, haven’t you?”
Van’s face turned crimson as he shook his head and laughed nervously, “Of course not.
I don’t play with dolls anymore. Besides, the correct term is 'action figures'.”
“Uh huh. Anyways, I made a discovery.”
“What discovery?”
“A discovery describing Dryden.”
“But Dryden drove down to the deep dirty district of Dixie!”
“The discovery described Dryden down in the deep dirty district of Dixie.”
“What about Dryden down in the deep dirty district of Dixie?”
“The deep dirty district of Dixie has been demolished.”
“Who dared the dastardly deed of demolishing the deep dirty district of Dixie?”
“The doppleganger demolished the deep dirty district of Dixie.”
“The doppleganger didn’t demolish the deep dirty district of Dixie because the
doppleganger died in the dead days of December.”
“The doppleganger did die in the dead days of December, but Dilandau disguised
himself as the doppleganger.”
“I’ll descend in the dragon and destroy Dilandau disguised as the doppleganger in the
demolished deep dirty district of Dixie where Dryden drove down to.”
“Its dangerous to descend in the dragon and destroy Dilandau, disguised as the
doppleganger who died in the dead days of December, because he demolished the
deep dirty district of Dixie where Dryden drove down to days ago!”
“You two are the dumbest duo I’ve ever did discover,” Merle stated from the door.
“Anyways, Gaddes wants us to go the deck.”
*****
“Wow, how did we get here so fast?” Hitomi wondered out loud as they entered the
deck.
“Its called ‘Lazy Narrator Syndrome’. Get used to it,” Merle remarked as she swished her
tail. The other members of the Crusade were are all there, except for one.
“Where’s the commander?” Gaddes asked fretfully. Allen came running up, his clothes
haphazardly thrown on and his hair wrapped in a towel. “Why is it,” he breathed, “that
these things always occur when I’m in the shower?”
“Allen, you didn’t use all the hot water, did you?” Moleman shouted. “The one day of my
life that I wanted to wash myself has just been ruined because of you!”
“I’m sorry if I’m one of the guys here that cares about his personal hygiene thoroughly,”
Allen answered back in the same tone of voice as used by Moleman. “That reminds me
though. I need to pick up some more Herbal Essences Shampoo...”
All of a sudden a bunch of good looking guys bursted into the room, and spun Allen
around in a chair, massaging the knight’s head while singing, “He’s got the urge! Natural
Botanicals!...”
When the guys disappeared as mysteriously as they had appeared, everyone’s mouths
were still open in a shock. Van was the first to say, “That was the freakiest thing I’ve
ever seen.”
“Yeah,” Hitomi agreed in a daze, but shook it off. “Anyways, I have a discovery about
Dryden.”
“A discovery about Dryden?” Millerna questioned. “But Dryden drove down
to...”
“Oh no you don’t!!” Merle yelled, clamping a paw to Millerna’s mouth. “We’ve already
been through this, believe me. All you need to know is that the deep dirty district
of-Damnit! Now I’m doing it! Somebody please explain without having the letter ‘D’ in
your sentence!”
A stupid crew member by the name of Ed stepped up and pointed to Millerna. “Uh, your
guy went away, but there was this other guy that, uh, is mean. Now your guy is in
trouble.”
“Good boy Ed,” Merle chirped. “Here’s a cookie.”
“Oh goody. I am in my happy place.”
Next>
