Feelings a Paradox

Title: Feelings a Paradox
Author: nanthimus
Pairing: Eh...one-sided Tsume/Toboe, one-sided Kiba/Toboe.
Rating: PG. Yeah.
Summary: Just a moment in the journey.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money.


The fading sun cast a dark orange hue to the sky. Shadows were growing long, reaching out with their dark fingers, staining the trees and ground. Four wolves who had been running for most of the day had quit their quick paced walk and were settling down for the night amidst the gloom.

Toboe sat up quickly with a whimper caught in his throat.

“I can’t sleep,” He said in a tone of voice that was dangerously close to becoming a whine. “It’s scary here.”

Hige sat up, staring irritably at the young wolf. “Jeez runt, what are ya, a wolf or a mouse? You better get used to ‘scary’ places.” Smirking, he rolled over, back facing Toboe, and heaved a mighty sigh. “Just go to sleep.”

Toboe gave way to his whimper and curled into a ball, head resting on his knees. “Why should I get use to it,” he asked softly, “Paradise isn’t going to be anything like this place. Is it Tsume?”

“How the hell should I know?” The scarred wolf raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not,” Kiba assured the boy and Toboe smiled, instantly relieved.

Tsume growled and got up, stalking off into the darkness; ignoring Toboe’s calls to him.

'What’s this feeling? This…pain? It can’t be…' Thoughts buzzed in Tsume’s heat like a swarm of angry bees, each louder than the last. As such, he didn’t hear the soft footsteps coming up behind him, but he did hear the faint, “Tsume?”

Toboe walked up to the tall man, coming to his side and looking up at him anxiously. “Tsume, what’s wrong?”

The question was filled with worry and Tsume winced, disguising it as a scowl. “Nothing’s wrong, now just go away.”

“You always do that,” Toboe exclaimed, arms akimbo, eyes narrowed. “I didn’t even do anything and you’re mad at me again.”

“I’m not mad,” Tsume enunciated carefully, glaring at the younger wolf, “But that might change if you don’t stop bothering me.”

Toboe bit his lip, eyes watering a bit and Tsume groaned. “Don’t start crying!”

“Fine,” Toboe muttered, “But you’re not being fair. I didn’t do anything to you.”

Tsume snapped. “How can you just blindly trust that guy,” He exploded, causing Toboe to take a few steps back in alarm. “How can you go where he tells you, do what he tells you, without giving it another thought?”

“Wha…I don’t know,” Toboe stuttered,” Why do you follow him?”

'I'm not following him’, Tsume thought, and it was almost agonizing.

“It just feels right,” Toboe continued softly, and Tsume looked away, yellow eyes glaring into the darkness.

“Your feelings? I suggest you not follow them. They’ll only get you into trouble.”

Toboe straightened and turned away, but launched a parting shot. “At least I’m not afraid of my feelings. And if you really think that way, why are you coming along?”

Tsume closed his eyes and bowed his head, a clear signal that the conversation was over. Toboe sighed and wondered back to the makeshift camp. Hige had fallen asleep, but Kiba was still awake. His somber eyes stared out from the gloom.

“What’s wrong with him?” He asked and Toboe shrugged, falling to the ground roughly. Scrubbing at his face, he flopped to his side in the dirt.

“I don’t get him. He asked me why I’m coming, then told me not to follow my feelings.” He looked up in confusion. “If that’s how he feels, why’s he coming?”

Amused, Kiba watched the younger wolf, a cautiously fond expression growing on his face.

“You’re right, he’s not making sense. He is following his feelings, just not in the same way as you,” he ignored Toboe’s obvious confusion.

“Kiba, wha…”

“Jeez, would you two shut up and go to sleep already?” Hige’s annoyed voice interrupted them. Kiba lay down, offering scant comfort to Toboe.

“You’ll understand eventually.”

Toboe bit his lip and lay down, slipping into a deep but restless sleep.

Later, after the moon had fully risen, Tsume returned to the camp, his footsteps nearly silent. He thought the other three were asleep, but as he looked more carefully, he saw Kiba, looking at him. Kiba blinked oh so slowly.

“What?” Tsume bit out.

Kiba stared for a few more moments and right before Tsume could repeat his question, Kiba spoke.

“You’re going to lose him,” He said, and the older wolf froze. “You’re going to lose him if you keep treating him so unfairly.”

“To who? You?” Tsume scoffed.

Kiba kept watching him with those eyes. “Perhaps,” he replied evenly, and Tsume snarled dangerously.

“He’s mine.”

“Does he know that?”

Tsume stalked over to the little, slumbering wolf and sat down resolutely between him and Kiba.

“You can’t have him.” He said, and Kiba settled down, eyes narrowing.

“Why? He doesn’t carry your mark, so you must not be to his tastes.”

Tsume bit down on the roar bubbling from his throat. “He will.”

“Maybe not. If you keep treating him the way you do, he may never want to carry it,” Kiba pointed out, and Tsume was silent. “Never mind. Now is not the time to talk about it.”

Now wait just a min-”

“Now’s not the time,” Kiba repeated, and rolled away from him. “Get some sleep.”

Tsume sneered and looked at Toboe. The sleeping boy had rolled slightly on his back, head thrown back, mouth slightly open. Tsume stared at him, his eyes narrowing. He reached out and, trying to be gentle, pushed hair back out of the boy’s closed eyes, his hand traveling down and cupping his jaw softly. Toboe stirred and Tsume pulled back.

“You will be mine,” Tsume promised, before casting a glare and Kiba’s unmoving form. "No matter what he says.” Laying down, he curled up, his tail covering his nose, and fell asleep.


End