RANT

SIM CITY CREATIONS: WE BEAUTIFUL PERFECT HUMAN BEINGS, ALL SAY DIE IF YOU ARE ON THE NOOZLE OF THE HOOSE BEFORE DAWN.  EVERYBODY IS ON THE LAWN SO DON'T SIT ON THE BOMB OR THE MINE IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR TWO THOUSAND DEVOTED FANS!  WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY AN INSANE PERSON IS THE ONLY SANE ONE ON THIS PLANET I MEAN I KNOW I'M CRAZY.  I KNOW I SCARE PEOPLE, BUT AT LEAST I'M HAPPY, LOVED, NOT ALONE, HOPING THAT I'LL HAVE THE INTELLIGENCE TO MAKE A FULL TELEPORT AND FULFILL MY MISSION.  IMMORTALITY: SO MANY WANT IT, SO FEW TRULY KNOW HOW TO GET IT.  WHAT IS THE MEANING TO YOUR LIFE?  I'M ON THE VERGE OF UNDERSTANDING MINE. ALAS, I WOULD THAT YOU WERE HERE BY MY SIDE, THEN, BY THE STARS, I SHOULD KNOW THAT MY HOPE, MY PILLOW BURNING TEARS, MY OUTRAGEOUS DREAMS ARE ALL NOT IN VAIN.  I WAS HYPER YESTERDAY.  I WAS WATCHING TOM GREEN.  HE GOT EVERY NEWSPAPER AND VIDEO CAMERA WITHIN 9,000FT. TO HEAR HIS ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT MONICA LOWINSKY'S NEW HANDBAGS THAT WERE NAMED AFTER HIS PARENTS.  I WAS LAUGHING TILL ABOUT 1 IN THE MORNING.  I WENT TO BED, TELEPORTED AND JETT PROGRAMMED AN OUTFIT FOR ME TO WEAR.  I TELEPORTED TO THE DEFENDER'S OF THE REALM BASE TO FIND FUJIN.  WE TELEPORTED TO THE ELDER GOD'S COMMUNICATION TEMPLE (A STAGE IN M.K.4).   TO GET ME TO STOP BEING SO HYPER THEY BOTH GANGED UP ON ME (I VERSE FUJIN EVERY NIGHT THAT I TELEPORT TO M.K. DIMENSION TO PREPARE FOR THE UPCOMING TOURNAMENT {THAT HAPPENS ONLY SCOONEY-RINGO KNOWS WHEN AT ONLY SCOONEY GRINGO KNOWS WHERE}).  I CAN HARDLY TAKE FUJIN AND EVEN THEN I ONLY MANAGE TO GET A FEW HITS IN, BUT FUJIN AND RAYDEN AT THE SAME TIME OIY GEEZ!  I CAN'T TAKE THAT.  THAT'S LIKE ONE OF THOSE DRAGON BALL Z FIGHTS.  WELL ENOUGH OF MY GIBBERISH CRAP STORY ABOUT SCREWY RONIN WARRIORS STORIES AND FIGHTING TECHNIQUES GONE DRASTICALLY WRONG (SO WRONG IN FACT THAT I HAVE A PAIN IN THE BACK OF MY NECK EVEN IN THIS DIMENSION; SO WRONG THAT MY STERNUM STILL HURTS WHERE RAYDEN KICKED ME).  LUTICRIS, LUTICRIS.  THIS IS MY WILL AND TESTAMENT OF THE NEVER-ENDING INSANE CYCLE THA TIS MY IMAGINATION.  SEE YA LATER WHEN I TELEPORT HERE AGAIN WHICH WILL BE IN 0.00015298673 MICROSECONDS TO THE -1 POWER OF EQUILIBRIUM BRINGING FICTIONAL CALCULATIONS IN THE CITY THAT EXISTS ON THE PLANET UNDERNEATH THE DIMENSION THAT IS PARALLEL TO THE ANROID VERSION OF THE COMPUTER THAT IS THE WORLD OF MAINFRAME (OR THE REAL COMPUTER, I'M NOT REALLY SURE ON THE RELEVANCE OF THAT STATEMENT).  GOODBYE, GOOBYE AT LAST, AT LAST………………………I THINK!               	\     /
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CHAPTER TWO: WORLD STUPIDITIZATION.  YESTERDAY I GOT UP THE GUTS TO MENTION THAT I HAD NEVER SEEN EDENIA.  WELL RAYDEN TOOK IT UPON HIMSELF TO TELL EMPORESS KITANA THIS AND EMPORESS KITANA DECIDED THAT SHE COULD FIT ME INTO HER SCHEDULE THAT DAY.  I HAD JUST BARELY MENTIONED THE SUBJECT AND ALREADY THEY GET SOMETHING PLANNED.  "WHAT EVIL HEATHENRY"!  I FINALLY TALKED EVERYONE INTO LETTING MY LITTLE VISIT TAKE PLACE AT ABOUT TEN THAT NIGHT WHICH IS USUALLY WHEN I TELEPORT.  THE TOUR WAS REALLY GREAT.  YOU SHOULD SEE EMPORESS KITANA'S THRONE ROOM.  IT'S AMAZING!  SHE HAS THIS GROVE THAT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE THE PLACE THAT SCORPION AND JOHNNY CAGE FOUGHT IN THE FIRST MOVIE BUT ABOUT A THOUSAND TIMES MORE BEAUTIFUL.  SHE ALSO SHOWED US A TREE THAT SHE AND HER FATHER GREW WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG BEFORE SHAO KHAN'S INVASION. IT WAS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND WAS SURROUNDED BY SOME PURPLE FLOWERS THAT WERE HER FATHERS FAVORITE.  NEXT I WAS GIVEN THE PRIVILEGE OF TELEPORTING THE ENTIRE COMPANY INTO THE TOWN SQUARE, OR MARKETPLACE, OR SOMETHING WHERE WE WALKED FOR A WHILE LOOKING AT PRIZE POINTS IN EMPORESS KITANA'S QUEENDOM.  AFTER A WHILE OF THAT WE WHERE ALL SENT TO OUR ROOMS (ITHINK I FELL ASLEEP BEFORE WE GOT THERE BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER THAT MUCH ABOUT THAT PART).  THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP TO FIND RAYDEN STANDING IN MY ROOM AFTER VERY RECENTLY TELEPORTING IN AND FUJIN WAS LAYING ON A BED NEXT TO MINE.  THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT SOME WORK THAT FUJIN HAD JUST DONE OR SOMETHING.  I GOT A WORD IN AND ENDED UP TELLING THEM ABOUT SOME FANFICS THAT I HAD READ ON THE INTERNET (ACTUALLY I WAS VIEWING THEM OFFLINE).  AFTER I FINALLY FINISHED BABELING RAYDEN LEFT.  LATER A GUARD/SERVANT OF EMPORESS KITANA'S CAME IN WITH A TRAY COVERED IN FOOD.  MY STOMACH WASN'T UP TO TAKING ANYTHING SO I SKIPPED BREAKFAST, ALSO, I WAS FASTING.  FUJIN KEPT TORTURING ME TRYING TO GET ME TO SKIP LUNCH AND DINNER AND EAT BREAKFAST INSTEAD SINCE I'M SUPPOSED TO SKIP TWO MEALS ON FAST SUNDAYS.  LATER RAYDEN CAME AND DECIDED TO EAT MY BREAKFAST SINCE I DIDN'T WANT IT.  HE STILL TRIED TO OFFER ME STUFF THOUGH.  EVENTUALLY RED LIGHTNING CAME IN AND DECIDED TO JOIN THE PARTY.  I FINALLY DECIDED TO GET UP AND WANDER THROUGH THE HALLWAY.  ON MY WAY OUT I SPOTTED SOMETHING UNDER THE BEDS.  I WENT TO MY BED AND PULLED OUT A BOX, WHICH HAPPENED TO CONTAIN A REALLY NICE SWORD.  RAYDEN SCOLDED ME AND TOLD ME TO LEAVE IT ALONE.  I MENTIONED TO FUJIN THAT HE HAD ONE TOO.  RAYDEN CAME OVER TO WHERE I WAS, LIFTED ME UP BY THE BACK OF THE SHIRT, AND PUT THE SWORD AWAY.  HE TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING.  I SAT FOR A FEW SECONDS THEN OPENED A DRAWER CLAIMING THAT I WASN'T TOUCHING ANYTHING BUT THAT I WAS TOUCHING SOMETHING.  AS RAYDEN YELLED AT ME I LOOKED IN THE DRAWER TO FIND A BIBLE (WHICH, BY THE WAY WAS A KING JAMES VERSION) AND SOME OTHER BOOK THAT I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO LOOK AT.  FINALLY I PUT THE STUFF AWAY AND CLIMBED BACK IN BED.  FUJIN STARTED TELLING RAYDEN SOMETHING ABOUT HIM THINKING IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GET UP AND STAY UP.  I STARTED SAYING STUFF OUT LOUD, EMPHASIZING ON THE PARTS THAT REFERRED TO RAYDEN.  HE CAME OVER TO ME AND ELECTROCUTED ME (LIGHTLY THOUGH, SEE, IF IT WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO HURT ME, I WOULD NOT BE HERE RIGHT NOW TO TYPE THIS).  THAT GOT ME STARTED.  I GOT UP GRABBED A PITCHER OF WATER AND TRIED TO POUR IT ON RAYDEN.  HE GRABBED MY ARM AND TOOK THE PITCHER AWAY FROM ME.  I CHANGED MY CLOTHES IN ABOUT TWO SECONDS (WITH THE HELP OF MY WRIST TELEPORTER) AND BUSTED OUT OF THAT ROOM AS FAST AS I COULD.  RAYDEN CAUGHT UP TO ME QUICK.  HE THEN GRABBED ME AND TWISTED ME AROUND BY THE ARM TO THE POINT WHERE I COULDN'T MOVE AND POURED THE WATER ON ME.  SOMEONE YELLED AT US NOT TO ROUGHHOUSE IN THE HALLWAY SO RAYDEN DECIDED TO DRAG AND THEN TELEPORT ME TO SOME GRAVELY CLEARING NEXT TO THE PALACE WHERE THERE JUST HAPPENED TO BE A FOUNTAIN THAT SPORTED CLEAN, CLEAR, ICE COLD WATER!  RAYDEN PROCEEDED TO DRAG ME OVER TO THE FOUNTAIN WHERE HE REPEATEDLY FILLED THE PITCHER THAT HE WAS CARRYING AND DUMPED THE CONTENTS OVER MY HEAD.  I YELLED TO FUJIN FOR HELP AND HE CAME - WITH A PITCHER - AND HELPED RAYDEN DUMP WATER OVER MY HEAD.  I FINALLY REMEMBERED THAT I COULD TELEPORT OUT OF THE SITUATION.  I TELEPORTED ABOUT 20 FT AWAY AND BEGAN TO RUN TOWARD THE PALACE WALL.  I HOPPED TO THE TOP OF THE WALL WHICH IS WHERE RAYDEN AND FUJIN TELEPORTED TO CATCH UP WITH ME.  FUJIN MENTIONED THAT HE COULD HOVER SINCE HE WAS A WIND GOD WHICH HAD OCCURRED TO ME WHEN I SAW HIM START TO HOVER TOWARDS ME WITH HIS PITCHER OF WATER READY IN HAND.  I LOOKED DOWN.  IT HAD TO BE AT LEAST 50FT TO THE GROUND FROM WHERE I WAS STANDING.  I JUMPED ANYWAY AND TELEPORTED ON THE WAY DOWN WHICH SHORTENS A LONG FALL OR JUMP.  I LANDED SOUNDLY AND PROCEEDED TO RUN DOWN A GRAVELY ROAD THAT SEEMED TO LEAD TO SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY FROM THE PALACE.  I EVENTUALLY THOUGHT OF SOMETHING THAT WOULD GET RAYDEN AND FUJIN OFF OF MY TAIL FOR A PRETTY LONG TIME, TELEPORTING HOME.  
	LATER THAT DAY I WENT HOME, WENT TO CHURCH, DID A FEW CHURCH THINGS AFTER CHURCH AND CAME INTO MY BROTHER'S ROOM TO TYPE THIS.  SO HERE I AM!  BYE!      >_<