Behold, The Power of Cheese

By Rose Thorne

Warning: Totally insane - Has NO point whatsoever!

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sunrise, and other large corporations and companies that I, sadly, have no affiliation with...yet.


Duo walked up the street, humming to himself. Well, he wasn't really walking; he was kinda bouncing. But it was fun making all the passers-by look scared. He did this all the tiem, waiting until the men with the strait jackets came so he could have fun running away.

As he walked down the street, Duo saw a new shop. He smiled mischieviously. Goody. More toys... When he looked through the window, he suddenly felt compelled to run at the window and slam into it. He stared through the window, his face mashed against the glass, making him look somewhat deformed. Can't...resist... And there the braided pilot stayed, waiting for some brave soul came to rescue him.

Wufei happened to walk down the same street, as he was the one who always called the men with the strait jackets when Duo got out of control. Where has Maxwell gone this time?! He saw a black figure attached to a store window and groaned, stepping forward to see if it was time to call Dr. Robinson's[1] Funny Farm yet. "Maxwell, what are you doing?"

The American's voice came back cheery, if a bit muffled. "Just look in the window and you'll see." You see, Duo knew who always called Dr. Robinson's, and, while it was lots of fun to evade capture, it wasn't very fun the few times he'd actually gotten caught. Records were a hassle to destroy. It was time for the braided pilot to have his revenge. Wufei looked at the window and suddenly had the inexplicable and irresistible urge to play kamikaze bird. His face quickly became attached to the window as well. "See, told ya, Wu man. You saw, didn't you?"

"Maxwell! I'll have JUSTICE!!!" The Chinese boy began to brawl with Duo...or tried to. There wasn't really much of a way to with his face stuck to the window.

"Nooooo! Anything but justice! Spare me!" Duo cackled insanely, leaving Wufei to wonder why he hadn't just called Dr. Robinson's and gotten it over with. The pilot of Shenlong sighed and waited, hoping someone came to save him from the insane braided American soon. Especially when Duo began to tell very involved knock-knock jokes involving various body parts, for some reason pretending that he was talking to Relena and playing her part as well.

Quatre walked down the street with a sigh, wondering what to get Trowa for their anniversary. One year of going steady. He blinked as he saw what appeared to be Duo and Wufei standing rather close to a store window. He walked over. "Um...Is there any reason that your faces are stuck to the window?"

Wufei groaned. "Whatever you do, don't look through the" -Quatre's face slammed into the window- "window..." He sighed. "Now we're all stuck here." Though Wufei had to admit, having Quatre in between him and Duo was a good idea. Then Duo couldn't annoy him too much...

"Hey, Quatre..." "What, Duo?" "Knock-knock..." Wufei groaned. It was going to be a long day. He waited, hoping that someone would come along to save them, someone who would have the sense not to look through the window.

Trowa sighed, wondering where Quatre had gone. He had already found the perfect gift for his lover. They had parted over an hour ago, and the blonde Arabian was late. Trowa sighed, pushing his bangs from his face, and went to look for the blue-eyed pilot. He blinked as he saw what looked like Wufei, Quatre, and Duo lined up in front of a store with their faces pressed to the window. It struck him as something Duo would do, but not Quatre, and definitely not Wufei. He walked to them. "What are you doing?"

Duo's muffled voice answered him lightly. "Telling knock-knock jokes."

Trowa sighed. Sometimes you had to be very specific with Duo. Especially when he was hyped up on Jell-o, which he was. The braided boy and Heero had kept all of them up until wee hours of the morning with their strange Jell-o fettish. Honestly, why couldn't they go with something normal like leather? "I mean, why are your faces stuck to the window."

"Dunno," Duo chirped. "Seemed like a good idea at the time." It was at that point that Trowa glanced through the window. His face pressed against the smooth glass, he could only hope for the strenghth not to kill Duo as the American said. "Ne, Trowa, knock-knock?"

Heero sighed, tucking the new laptop under his arm. He'd had to replace the one that had been ruined the night before in the Jell-o session. But he'd learned a valuable lesson: Don't leave the laptop in the room when Duo's on a Jell-o hype. The braided pilot tended to get a tad enthusiastic, which led to a large amount of Jell-o scattered randomly about the room.

He stood at the designated meeting place, wondering where the hell Duo had gotten to and wondering if Wufei had been forced to call Dr. Robinson's again. Finally, he sighed and walked around looking for the braided pilot. He nearly did a double take as he turned a corner. There stood Wufei, Quatre, Duo, and Trowa, their faces pressed against the window of a store. Heero stalked over to them. "Why are your faces pressed against the window?"

Trowa sighed. "Just get us off of here. And don't look in the window." Heero yanked them from the window one-by-one, pulling Duo by his braid, then peered through the window. "What's the big deal? It's just cheese."

The others stared at him in shock. Wufei was the first to speak. "Just cheese?! How dare you! INJUSTICE!!!" The four pilots jumped the unsuspecting Japanese boy.

And the girl in the window of Bara-chan's Cheese Emporium chuckled, amusement written all over her face, as she sent someone out to clean the window. "Behold, the power of cheese."


[1] Dr. Robinson is from Jay's fic, Paging Dr. Freud, which is a great read.

Once again, this came to me when I was running on WAY too little sleep. Dumb idea based off those really weird commericals. I'm lactose intolerant and I can't even EAT cheese...So that's how I'm explaining Heero's immunity.


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