1. Episode: Jellybeans
A local furniture store is having a guess-how-many-jellybeans-are-in-the-jar contest. Ralph wants to win the $100, so he buys a similar jar and thousands of jellybeans. Alice has wanted a dress for weeks that is on sale one last day. Ralph has Norton call the store with his guess and he wins, but the prize isn't cash. It is a $100 gift certificate redeemable only after buying $1,000 worth of furniture. Alice goes to get some money she hid to buy her dress. She discovers it missing and Ralph admits he used it to buy the jellybeans.
2. Episode: Hotdog Stand
Ralph and Norton want to buy a hot-dog stand in New Jersey, but they need six hundred dollars first. The Kramdens have $158 in their bank account, but it's a joint account and Alice won't let Ralph use the money. Ralph is bitter over this because Alice has caused him to miss other opportunities in the past. It's the same story with Norton and Trixie, so the boys are forced to go first to friends and relatives for the money, and finally to a bank. Mr. Foster, the banker, refuses to lend Ralph and Norton the money, until Norton mentions that they were planning to work their regular jobs nights and run the hot-dog stand during the day. Foster is impressed with their dedication and approves the loan. Alice and Trixie help the boys get the stand ready for the grand opening, while Ralph and Norton practice a code that's supposed to help provide quick and efficient service. Things look rosy when a customer tells Ralph and Norton that a building is going up right down the road from the stand, but their bubble is burst when they learn that the building is going to be a Howard Johnson's restaurant.
3. Episode: Lawsuit
Ralph broke his leg in a bus accident and now he wants to break the bank at the bus company by suing it for ten thousand dollars. According to Ralph, the accident occurred because of company negligence: the windshield wipers on his bus didn't work and he smashed his bus into a tree because he couldn't see in the rain. Ralph doesn't care that suing the company may cost him his job because he has other plans anyway--when he gets the money from the lawsuit he's going to buy a grocery store in Jersey City. A claims adjuster from the bus company comes and offers Ralph back pay for the time he missed while recuperating and complete payment of his medical bills, but Ralph refuses the offer. Instead, he has Norton call a lawyer, who tells Norton that Ralph has a can't-lose case. The lawyer comes to the Kramden apartment, and while he's asking Ralph questions he learns for the first time that Ralph was the driver of the bus, not a passenger. He tells Ralph about a city ordinance that requires a bus driver to be sure that all the safety equipment on his bus is working properly before taking the bus out of the depot. Ralph has no case after all, and, after kicking the adjuster out of the apartment, maybe no job either.
4. Episode: Boxtop Kid
Alice's sister, Helen, and her husband, Frank, have won a cruise to Europe, and Ralph and Alice go to see them off at the dock. Ralph is jealous and he acts it. The next day he buys every product that's running a contest--$23.50 worth of dog food, cereal, cake mix, detergent, etc.--so he can win something too. Ralph eventually wins two contests: his prizes are a dog from the Happy Hound dog food people and a trip to Europe from Slim-o Bread. (Ralph's winning slogan: "Slim-O Bread adds to the taste and takes away from the waist.") When Ralph reads the telegram that notifies him about winning the trip, he discovers that the company wants to use before-and-after photos of him; Ralph said on his entry blank that he used to be a fatty but that his weight dropped down to 170 pounds after he began eating Slim-O. Ralph cons Norton into posing as him, and stuffs him with a pillow and takes his picture, which is to pass as the "before" Ralph. The ruse works--until Mrs. Manicotti comes in and refers to Ralph as Mr. Kramden. When the Slim-O man questions her, she tells him that Ralph is Kramden. Ralph is also fat, so he doesn't get to go to Europe.
5. Episode: Two Men on a Horse
Ralph's been elected treasurer of the Raccoon Lodge--he won by promising to spend the Lodge's budget surplus on beer and hot dogs. On the way home from the lodge he loses the two hundred dollars he's supposed to deposit in the Raccoons bank account. The next day he meets Norton at Jerry's Lunch Room to figure out where he can get another two hundred dollars. He tries to make some of it back by playing pinball against a guy in the lunch room. Ralph rolls up a score that Norton says will put him in the Pinball Hall of Fame, but his opponent tops it with his first ball. As Ralph and Norton are leaving, Jerry gets a telephone call--a hot tip on Cigar Box, a horse running that afternoon at the track. Jerry closes the lunch room to go to the track, and Ralph figures the horse must be a sure thing. He and Norton go to the track, hoping to win two hundred dollars. When the odds on Cigar Box start dropping, Ralph goes around dissuading people from betting on the horse. He and Norton split up, and Norton tells one man who's going to bet Cigar Box that he's the horse's owner, and that the horse can't win. Norton tells him to bet Happy Feet instead. Ralph bumps into the same man, who tells Ralph Cigar Box won't win because his owner just told him the horse is in the race only for a workout. Ralph bets Happy Feet instead, and then finds out Cigar Box's "owner" is Norton. Ralph rips up his ticket in despair. The race begins and Cigar Box leads the pack by a mile. Suddenly Happy Feet charges in front and wins the race, sending Ralph and Norton scrambling to the floor for the ripped-up ticket.
6. Episode: Teamwork Beat the Clock
Ralph and Alice are contestants on Beat the Clock. They succeed on their first stunt, where Alice has to propel a cup with a can of whipped cream into a net Ralph is holding in his teeth, and are in the middle of their second, where they have to catch lemons in a cup and stack the cups while keeping a balloon from hitting the ground, when time runs out and they're asked to return the next week. Of course they will -- a 21-inch color TV is at stake. Ralph and Alice practice their stunt at home, with Norton's help. Jerry, Alice's brother-in-law, arrives with the news that Alice's sister Helen is expecting their child any day. He has to leave town on business and he wants to know if the Kramdens will look after Helen while he's gone. As the Fickle Finger of Fate would have it, Helen goes into labor Saturday night, just before the Kramdens are supposed to be at the TV studio. Helen has twins, and Alice decides to stay with her. Norton accompanies Ralph to the studio, and the show's host, Bud Collyer, invites him to take Alice's place in the stunt when Ralph explains why Alice isn't there. They win the TV set, and a bonus -- a pair of baby buggies. (Note: This is one of the few times where Ralph does succeed.)
7. Episode: Songwriters
Ralph's gonna get rich by writing hit songs. He gets the idea when he learns that the Raccoon Lodge has contracted to pay a professional songwriter one hundred dollars to write a lodge theme song -- and that the hundred dollars is peanuts compared with what the songwriter makes writing pop songs. Ralph's first step to stardom is to recruit Norton to play the piano and write the music to Ralph's lyrics. Ralph keeps Norton up all night trying to write songs, while waging running battles with Alice and McGarrity (a.k.a. Garrity). After failing at writing love songs, lullabies, and holiday songs, they hit on a novelty song and take it to a publisher. Ralph is crushed when the publisher says he loves the melody but hates the words, and that he wants to bring in a professional songwriter to write lyrics to Norton's music. In a rare gesture of unselfishness Ralph steps aside for Norton's sake. But Norton values his friendship with Ralph more than a musical career, and unbeknownst to Ralph, takes their song to another publisher, who loves it so much he has it recorded . Ralph has the thrill of a lifetime when he hears his and Norton's song on the radio.
8. Epiosde: Songs and Witty Sayings
Ralph and Norton have entered the annual amateur night at the Halsey Theater, where the grand prize is two hundred dollars. Their act consists of a mind-reading bit, jokes and a Laurel and Hardy impersonation, and a song-and-dance routine. When Ralph comes home from work, he discovers he and Norton are going to have some stiff competition: Alice and Trixie are doing a hula song and dance. Ralph is against Alice's performing, but Norton is more understanding; Trixie had been in burlesque, he tells Ralph, and has the tradition of the theater to uphold. Alice knows Ralph is afraid she and Trixie may win, and she appeals to his pride. Ralph not only accepts her challenge but bets her ten dollars he and Norton will win and promises to eat her grass skirt if she and Trixie win. Ralph and Norton are up past midnight rehearsing, and Alice and Garrity, are anything but a captive audience. The "restaurant sketch" they rehearse, in which Norton does a Stan Laurel impersonation as a customer who wants a piece of custard pie, and Ralph plays the waiter a la Oliver Hardy, is a priceless tribute by Carney and Gleason to the two great funny men. At the Halsey, the first contestant is Freitag Delicatessen's delivery boy, who plays a bicycle pump. Alice and Trixie wow 'em. Norton can't even guess the first object in the mind-reading routine, Ralph bombs as a standup comic, and the song and dance is a dismal flop. Final score: Alice and Trixie, $210; Ralph, a grass skirt for dinner.
9. Episode: The Man From Space
Ralph plans to win the annual Raccoon costume constest and $50 prize, by paying, or rather borrowing $10 for a professionally made costume. However, when Ralph asks Ed for the money, Ed shows him the costume he already rented that morning. Ralph gets angry claiming Ed stole his idea and tries to get the money from Alice instead. She refuses and he finally decides to go and make his own costume, a man from outer space. It turns out that Ed can't go and Ralph feels that he's now a cinch to win. Just as they are about to award Ralph the prize, for his "pinball costume", Ed rushes in wearing his sewer gear and is awarded the prize for his "man from space costume."
10. Episode: The $99,000 Answer
Ralph makes it onto a quiz show, and chooses the category of popular songs to compete in the following week. So he goes and buys a piano and all sorts of records so that he would be ready when it came time to answer the quiz show's questions. Ed, who would play songs for Ralph to name, would always start by playing the intro to Swanny river which enfuriated Ralph. Finally when it comes time for Ralph to answer the questions, ironically enough, they ask him who wrote Swanny River? Ralph is confused and asks them to play a piece of the song, and he starts to stammer and blurts out Ed Norton, which of course is the wrong answer.
11. Episode:Ralph Kramden, Inc.
Norton invests in Ralph's stock when Ralph wants twenty dollars. When Ralph thinks he is named in a millionaire's will, arguments arise. It turns out Ralph was simply left a pet bird named Fortune, and much of the money was left to the butler and maid.
12. Episode: Finders Keepers
Mr. Bartfeld is selling his candy store to the Chock Full O'Orange people. When Ralph hears this he figures the CFOO people must know something about a boom in the neighborhood, and he wants to buy the store. He and Norton form a partnership and agree to invest $300 each to buy it. When neither of them can get the money, they try to think of a scheme to get it. Norton turns on the radio and they hear a commercial for a find-the-missing-money contest. The prize is a $1,000 bill. They study the clues and decide that the money is hidden in an automat across from Grand Central Station. They go there and search everywhere but don't find the money. They end up getting arrested for creating a disturbance in the automat. When Ralph gets home, he finds out that the CFOO people want to buy the store not because they think it would make alot of money, but to use it as a warehouse. Ralph is relieved that he didn't buy the store, but he is upset because not only did he lose a day's pay, but he also had to pay Joe Cassidy $15 to drive his bus while he was out looking for the money. In comes Alice with the newspaper and big news. Joe Cassidy found the hidden money that morning on the visor of the bus he was driving... Ralph's bus.
