This is where I will be ranting about things that are currently going on in my life. If you are afraid, which you should be, go
5/31/04 Wow, it's been a long time since I ranted. First, let me get the good thing out of the way. I had a really funny dream about the SMAP guys and their song, mainly about Sekai ni Hitotsu gake no Hana and Inagaki Gorou. I had to research his name because I only know 2 members of SMAP's names, which would be Kimura Kakuya and Kusanagi Tsuyoshi, but now I know all! Anyway, Inagaki Gorou (the guy that did the funny movement at Kouhaku) was the main guy. So anyway, I was at my old elementary school doing some kind of evercise, it would be a radio exercise that they have in Japan. But they were about to do the thing to the SMAP song (don'g ask me why, my dreams are random) but I was gonna ditch it and go pee. So I was walking to the bathroom and this familiar back figure of a person is in front of me walking really funny. They were all dressed in goth the pants and all and they were flashing their underwear/boxers to me by pulling up the bottom of their pant legs. Strange, I know. And I said to half myself, I don't need to see that. In English I believe, and all of a sudden they turn around and it's Ingaki Gorou! He smiled all politly and said we should dance! I was like...okay so he took my hand and we went the other way. I said, "I know you! You're Kusanagi Tsuyoshi!" (Now I know that's wrong, actually I knew later) and he said yup. "You were in that one musical movie with that cop!" "Yes I was" "I haven't seen it yet but it must be good!" ^_^;; And well he wasn't in the goth clothes anymore for some reason and was in a really cool blue suit with that kahki trench coat that detectives like to wear, yeah, that. So he looked really hot and he took my hand and we were about to tango (?) to the SMAP song, then I woke up. That was the funnest and most exciting thing that has happened since school ended. Now I know his name too. ^^ He's pretty cute now that I look at him. :D
And now on to the bad fucking rant. I'm really tired of other people dumping thier shit on me and expecting me to fucking take it, because you know what? I'm getting tired of it. I take your fucking shit, now you take mine! But nnooooo! You can't handle that, can you? You get so fucking upset when someone else tires to do the same thing you do to them and you can't handle it! You break out and bitch some more you fucking loser! You can dish it out but you can't take it, can you?! Eh!! I fucking hate you!! I'm tired of having my life run by you people!I need anger management! It's my fucking life, I don't need you to fucking ruin it for me already! I'm tired of everything revolving around you! You! You! YOU!!! I know I sound selfish right now, but I want some attention! It's my fucking life too ya know that you're messing with! It's not just you that's so fucking important to stop fucking it up you little bitch! God, I'm so fucking tired of everybody dumping their shit on me because of the shit you fucking created by being a fucked up asshole!!! If you had a little more fucking common sense than maybe you wouldn't have done that fucking hting and we wouldn't be in this fucking mess right now, now would we!!!!! Can you sense that I'm a little angry right now? Geeze, I fucking tell you what's going on because you fucking ask and i think you should fucking know and now you fucking blaim ME for getting you upset?! Excuse me! I fucking did the right thing and that doesn't give you the right to bitch at me because your fucking son can't do the right fucking thing! That's right! I have a fucking reason I'm crying and it's damn good too! God, I'm going to kill the next fucking person that upsets me right on the spot. I swear! Grrr!!! I'm so fucking angry at you fucking people right now it's not even fucking funny! I swer, I just need a new fucking family and new fucking friends and a new fucking life that no one will bother me in! I swear, I'm gonna die because of all this fucking stress you fucking people give me in 10 fucking years. Ain't that lovely, eh, you LITTLE FUCKING BITCH! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!! GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND STAY THE FUKCIN HELL OUT!!
1/21/04 So sad....I have bad updating skills and this site looks like a POS. *sigh* Even my school site is better. Maybe I'll tear down this place and make it more organized. Hook up the scanner so I can scan pretty pictures. *sigh* Yeah, like that'll happen! I'm such a lazyass. I don't update as much anymore and I lack talent. So sad. I don't keep promises very well either. Like I promised to put up something new. Yeah, that didn't happen. I'll probably do something for Valentines though. Kenshin, Kenshin, Kenshin. I don't like the anime Kenshin but I like the guy we met at con that was Kenshin. There was also Aoki, Shishiro, and that damn Tsukasa! That bastard! Didn't even say hi and he starts inisulting us! What a bastard! It was funny cuz we stalked this Kenshin. He started rocgnizing our voices and immediatly turned around to give us hugs. ^_^ That was fun. Ahh...good times, good times. I hope we can do it this year. And this year, I get a slave!!! YYAAAAYY!!! ^____^ Ya see, I get this kid who absolutly terrible hates me and get to put an electric shock collar on him and make him do my dirty work. Yup, I like that idea. >:)
12/2 I'm kinda disappointed in myself. For my NaNoWriMo project, I didn't even reach the halfway point, which was 25,000 words. Yeah, I only got about 21,163 words. Which is quiet good if you consider the fast that it's the first time I've done this. Well, it's up in the fanfic section and it's a piece of crap. But I do intend on finishing it between now and next year's NaNoWriMo. It's the longest thing I've written, which is also a plus. Also, my check from work isn't coming and that also pisses me off because it normally came after about 2-3 weeks and it's almost been a month. And I didn't get to get my permit because I wasn't enrolled in a stupid class. *sigh* I can get it in a week though cuz I'll be old enough. The semester is almost ending and most of my teachers are piling up work on us. English, biology, algebra 2, but thankfully not American History. The teacher doesn't believe in doing that. But I hate my biology class right now because we have to draw a stupid science comic about Captain Polymerase! Oh how fun! I hate it....I can't draw and I dont have an idea what to do. Oh well, I can probably screw that over and still have a good grade. I'm currently into Go-gaia wich is like neopets, I guess but nothing with dying pets. I like it but I really want to buy fairy wings but they cost sssooo freak'n much! My hands are cold...
10/15 Wow, long time since I ranted. Something that really bugs me. In Shaman King Ren is chinese and he has a sister. Saturday I was watching it and his sister came out. I was all thinking: hey, I know her! Then she speaks. SHE HAS A FUCKING BRITISH ACCENT!!!! Not like I have anything against that, but she's chinese!!! Chinese people dont' have British accents!! That bugs me!! I hate the person who chose them to do her voice!! Waahhh!! That bugs me as much as Relena and as much as Zoro being called Sulona dn Sanji called Sunkist. He's not an orange!!! *whine* That makes me depressed.
8/9 Yeah, I was kinda depressed yesterday. I was also drawing my thing for my 1st anniversery. It didn't go so well. They.....looked weird and deformed. And the characters I used to be able to draw are now crap and the ones that I drew for the first time of so are also crap. The first row of people are all about the same size, but the top row people have have bigger heads than the bottom ones. *sigh* Oh well....tough luck I guess. I just need to draw more and improve, right? Anyway, I hope you enjoy my anniversery update and that my picture turns out better. Ciao
7/28 Today, we didn't have power all day. Since like 9 in the morning until like 7:30 at night. It REALLY sucked. Not only because I didn't get to update until now even thought I had updating things, BUT because most of my house runs on electricity!!! I hate that!!! No microwave, no stove, no working fridge, no working garage!! Couldn't go anywhere until we finally pulled the cord, even thought we were hoping we wouldn't have to. I didn't get to eat until about 2PM cuz we couldn't get anywhere by bike because lately I've been caughing up a lung or two. So yeah, that was my day. Not very cool. But the water ran, so I could use the bathroom, Yippii!! Anyway, it's all over. I have my electricity.
7/26 Last night I had this really awsome dream!!! Too bad it was a dream. Okay, i dreamt that I was playing my GBA ONE PIECE game in my room and my geometry teacher was there for some reason telling a story. Then she was trying to listen to the radio on my computer upstairs (ya know, those cool things you can do now with fast comps? You can actually get live radio!). Then we got this message somehow that Nico Robin was going to rob our house because she's a great thief. Why my house? That's a mystery. Why is Robin a robber? Because she worked for Baroque Works, at least that's what i think. Anyway, so we have to get prephared. I'm walking out my front door with Luffy and Zoro(? maybe) behind me. And in our front yard, we have this white arch, and by there, there's a bunch of Marines and pirates and bounty hunters because Robin is a bounty waiting to shoot her. So then Robin appears in a white Jeep (?) and she starts running up my drive-way where everybody is. And I get out one of those rubber spatula things that you wipe off bowls, ya know, that's shaped like a small knife out of a ONE PIECE book (?) and so does Luffy, but not Zoro. I think Zoro just stood there. And the Marines and them are all shooting like crazy right, and they all miss and Robin's running up here. Then Nami (? I think) was aiming and I tol her to shoot and then that hit Robin in the arm. So I ran toward her but she started running toward her car. So i ran too and punchered her tires with my little knife. Then i cought her and twisted her arm behind her, which didn't really seem to work well on her, and put cuffs on her and handed her to Nami. But for some reason Robin was wearing gloves and the cuffs got off. So then Robin was running again toward my neighbor's red Ford Taurusish car. So I run and put holes in those tires too and then I get her again and twist her arm. SoI bring her up to my house and ask my Dad when the police are coming. He told me soon, so I put the cuffed Robin inside my house in the living room and sat her down. I turned on the TV and there was a show that Robin used to be on. Then she started crying and telling me I was horrible because I showed her her past. So I changed the channel. Then I looked out in my back yard through a window and I saw Zoro and my Dad, and Luffy (? not sure) and Nami, who was oddely making/flipping pancakes. I smiled at the sense that I protected my family because we all lived together. I chatted with Robin and she stopped crying. Then I felt this weird thing like sympathy and that Robin wasn't really bad. And I told her, if you're not really bad, then you can stay here. Then I woke up. What do you think THAT means? What a weird dream...
7/25 Wow, it's really been a long time since I ranted here. How sad. Well, today I'm going to rant about how I'm a real lazy ass. I need to get a move on some fanfics I've been writing for like ever. I also need to start doing my translations again, my written ones. I also need to get my collectables page up. So many things to do! So little effort to get them done!! Maybe that's why my site is a piece of crap compared to ReiRei's and Victoria's...oh well, that's me, I guess. I'm thinking about putting up ONE PIECE lyrics in Japanese and English. What do you people think? Give me your response to that. I want to do my Gundam songs too, but I don't have the lyrics to those. I can always do them. I don't know, maybe I will do it. Anyway, time for me to do a good ass update.
5/17 Why do I have to respect people who don't respect me? I mean, if they give me shit, then how come i can't give them shit too? Okay, this one time when I was doing my job (reffereeing) and this caoch who was all yelling and screaming at me because he doesn't like me calls, right? And then he comes running downt the side lines shouting to me. "SIR could we watch that kid?!" and then that ticked me off even more. He called me a guy!!! I mean, I've got pretty long hair and I also have boops for that matter. Maybe my cleavage isn't spilling out like mosst girls my age nor do i have my fucking shorts hiked up so high that you can see my underweare, but you should be able to fucking tell if I'm a girl or a boy!!! Then I kinda stopped listening to him after sir. And then I saying that at the table today at dinner and then my Mom says I should do that because i should respect people. What the Fuck?!?! He was the one that disrespected me by yelling at me and gave me shit! Why the hell should i be at his fucking feet! And not only that, we were laughing about it before when my brother was around! And it's always my fault! No matter what the hell I do, it's my fault! Yeah, it's my fault becuase I called what I saw! It's my fucking fault because I have an opinion!!! I actually cried because i was so upset after dinner. Yeah, I've been moody and depressed lately. Don't tick me off, I'll probably kill you or something because I'm so moody. Bye now
4/25 I got art from my friend Indy who's also the president of our anime club and I just put them up. If you didn't notice, they're digital camera pics so they're not that great. I wish I had a scanner, hten they wouldn't look so crappy, but I don't so I have to work with what I have. I think I did a pretty good job though. I have to contact Indy and tell her. I couldn't seem to keep my hands steady long enough to take the damn picture. Okay, I have it focused the way I want to, but when I lift my finger to push the button, my hand moves and it's all out of position and focus! It irritated me but I still took the pictures. They aren't that bad, but they were HUGE in the beginning! Like 12inx12in!! So I had to make it smaller. I'll shut up now.
4/15 Bitch, bitch, bitch! That's all people do! I mean, I bitch too but at least i do something about it, like a made this bute little page to put all my litting bitchings. People always come bitching to me! Parents, friends, caoches, players, even people I don't know!! Someone even said I bitched too much, well if you don't bitch, you must not be human, if You don't like this page, then DON'T FUCKING COME TO IT!!!! *sigh* Why do people always bitch at me? I mean, am I a good listener or something, cuz I don't enjoy listening you bitch at me. I mean, who does? You know the feeling when someone you know comes up and starts complaining to you, you don't want to hear it, same here. It's not so bad if it's a once and a while thing, but everytime you have a fucking problem is too much! FUCK YOU!! GO SOLVE YOUR OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS!! Rosey, you have too much problems in your life and you need to learn to get over it. Mom, just don't. Even Dad now, at least he appologizes after he realizes it. Coaches, if can't listen to the simple fucking things I tell you, then maybe YOU have the problem. KNOW THE FUCKING RULES!!! God, what the fuck is wrong with you people!! Rei, stop going to bitch everytime I speak to you. I mean, Victoria even told me I deserved everything that same to me! Well, you think so huh? You think I deserved to have a fucked up bother and I need to do his shit for him? You think I deserve to be treated like a trashbag and get all of your shit thrown into? YOu think I deserve that? I mean, what the hell did I ever do to you? I know I loose my temper sometimes, but I apologize for that! It's not my fault, why do I have to have a screwed up life!! KS, if you have a problem with how people are, then go to a fucking private school. You should you know, you act like such a stuck up bitch like you're better than everyone. You're exactly like the people in Brave New World! Some people treat me like a person, a nice one too. I like them, maybe it's time to ditch my friends now. But that's not it, I need to ditch the people who want to make me feel horrible. Every game I do, I have to have soemthing go wrong!! Something always has to!! I tell them I won't let them sub if there's only like a minute left, yes say okay, then alter they complain. Weren't you listening to me you fucking bitch? I'm going to call you that the next time you do that to me and I'm going to walk out! God I hate this job! No wonder why they need so many people, becuase a bunch of them quit becuase the people aren't fucking happy!! *deep breath* Well, that's as much complaining for the moment. Wow, almost a whole month without a rant, but now I have one.
3/19 Me: Zoro honey, would you go shovel the driveway for me? Zoro: Eh? What? Hell no! There's like 2 feet of snow!! Me: Please? It'll be good for your muscle training! Zoro: I don't like being used unlike that stupid cook. Me: *getting annoyed* Do you want to suffer the same consequence as that White Day fic? Zoro: *thinking of what happened to him* Me: Sanji-kun! Sanji: Yes Miss Nami!! ♥ Zoro: !! No!! I'll do it!! Me:*gives bottle to Sanji* Sanji-kun, would you watch him just in case and drink this if he doesn't shovel. Sanji: Yes ma'am!! ♥ Heh heh heh, too bad I can't really do this or else I wouldn't be aching would I? That pisses me off, it's been snowing since like two days ago and I had to shovel the driveway twice yesterday! TWICE! And today I hurt in my right shoulder and back. I had to shovel AGAIn and I had to get up on the roof and shovel so we can see the satelite. That was kinda fun but I got wet because the snow was like at my ass and I was afraid of falling so I suck one of my feet in the snow. Today was a pretty good day, then I had to make dinner. Which was horrible because I'm not that great of a cook and it took a long time for the chicken to get done and it didn't taste good. Then, about 8 o'clock Bush is saying shit about going to war. Stupid bastard. Then about 20min. ago my stupid shit-ass brother comes home and yells at me for 'breaking his windsheild wiper'. Which I didn't do. I put snow on it, but not there. I put snow from the roof on his car and from the driveway. It was fun because now his car is like a mountain of snow. Then he says for me to pay for it and I even told him yesterday I was piling his car. And he didn't do anything about it so it's his own fucking fault. I said I wouldn't pay him and he got mad and punched me, demanded I pay for it, I said not again, he punched me again, demanded, got no, started to punch me and stomped off. Stupid bastard can't take no for an answer and always results to violence. I don't undersand why he isn't taken away by the military yet, I wish he was so I don't have to see his fucking fae again. All he does is take our food and creat trouble for us. I hate him, I don't say he should die yet, but I'm getting there. Right now I just wish he would go away. Damn bastard, I hate you.
3/16 Yeah, I'm sorry I've been a bad site mistress lately. Just haven't had time or the material to update. But I'll start putting up more updates because I'm on spring break right now. Wopiee! Spring Break! Yeah, anyway, like I'm gonna do something. Anyway, the season is starting soon so I can do my job and get some money for the con and for my trip I'm taking! Well, probably. I may be going to Japan this summer if my mother! So cool! So I need like a crap load of cash to spend there so I can get all these neat anime things. I also need to make my collectables page soon, but I don't have many pictures of collectable stuff yet. I need to get a move on that. Yikes! Oh shit! I still have to do my English homework! Damn English! I need to do my thing for the book Brave New World, but I don't know how. I'll just ask Victoria how to do it. And then I have to finish my 'short' story. Heh, it's not fucking short at all. It's already 29 freak'n pages and it's not done yet!! Holy shit am I screwed. I have writers block, what do you expect? Anyway, I need to get a move on it. The 'short' story is on the fanfiction page, it's the new one. Ya know right? Right! *frantically panicing* Like anyone really comes to this site, but hey, some people do. Nice to know that sometimes.
3/6 Yesterday I got a shock at the orthodontist. I asked if I could get my braces off in April like they said before, and they said no. I asked May? They said maybe. Waaa!! That means no!! It's not fair!!! I've been a good girl!! I want my fucking braces off! WAaah! Not only that, that morning, I get bitched at for wanting to not be late. What the fuck!? What's fucking wrong with that? Because I can't drive and I don't have the fucking same schedule as some bastard? It's enough I have to see him in school, why the hell do I have to be like him? I hate it!! GOd damn it!! Maybe this is why I like to be at school and anywhere away from home, even though I'm at home most of the time. If he doesn't go off to college next year, I swear I will go insane!! Just kick him out and let him fend for himself! He's the one causing this family to be pissed off at eachother!! Now my teeth hurt like hell because they put me back on rubber bands. Grrr....that just feeds my anger. (-_-}{) it's supposed to be the sign that I'm pissed off. Okay!
3/3 Hey, it's so cool! Today is 03/03/03! Isn't that neat! I'm am so easily amused. But think about it, it's been like that since 2001 and it's going to do that until 2012! Then were's not gonna have that for awhile. That's not cool, but it is until then! we have consecutive numbers!! EEE!! It's so cool! (>_<)
2/28 I really hate this one dude right now. He tells me I play like a gorilla and it really pisses me off, not only that but I was already pissed off because my friend KS bitches to me about her not being able to do perfectly and me not being able to get my fucking endpin out. Then after that, he shoves my music in my eye. Get your own fucking stand then you little bastard!!! I fucking hate you and I'm not your little servent that you can push around you little bitch! Not only that, then the teacher tells us to shut up and I'm not in one fucking bit of a good mood by then. So I go off to lunch and start ranting to myself and I get mad at my friends, that was bad, but it was because they made fun of me. Then they annoy the fucking hell out of me by singing the song that never ends. I asked them to stop but they wouldn't so I started getting pissed off again and started to beat them with my waterbottle. Then Rei tells me I don't shut up when they tell me to, and I told her I do, and I asked her when I don't shut up and she couldn't think of a time. Then in science, the guy sitting next to me, really sitting two seats away from me, there is one seat empy between us. Good thing to, or I might have killed the guy already. But we were watching a movie and doing a worksheet and he wasn't fucking paying attention so me makes s much noise as he could and sits down in the empty chair next to me to try and get my answers. How dumb do you think I am you little fucking bastard. I lmost stabbed the guy and kicked the shit out of him. But I controllled my temper. Then I come home and eat dinner. Then my mother comes home with that little bastard and I'm doing the dishes like she asked. She looks at me while I'm doing the dishes and gives me this dirty look. What the fuck?! Then she tells me to hurry up. Hey, I was doing things like you asked me to and then you bitch to me? Is that what I fucking am to you? Something to bitch at always? It's always this way, something goes wrong between her and that bastard and it always comes back to me! Always! Always, always, always! God fucking damn it!! What do you think I am? You're not gonna have anybbody to bitch to soon whore and you're gonna be ruined, you just wait. Then that bastard is eating with his fingers and wipes them on my placemat! MY FUCKING PLACEMAT!!! What the hell are you? Then I tell you not to fucking do that and you wave me off, but I don't have the power to do anyting to him. I hate being the youngest, you always get he shit from everybody. These are the things that's going to kill me ya know. God I hate it here, tha'ts why I always want to go away, but I don't have a place to. So I lock myself in my room. I wish I was strong, then I could do things. I need to get stronger, but my body doesn't work that way. Because I'm a weak fuckedup teenage girl. The worst things all in one. Just kill me off now, fuck this 'free' country! What kind of freedom do we have with all this limited freedom! I hate everyone, watche me kick your ass someday. You'll regrete it soon you little sexist bitch!! I hate you!!!
2/19 Been deathly ill these past days. But that's for the better since now I have extra days to do things I I forgot to do over the weekend. Had to miss Tuesday. Thtat sucked, but if I went, I probably would have passed out. Today, I went to first period. Got really sick, couldn't see straight, ears started buzzing. It sucked. My stomach hurt like hell. Maybe because I hadn't aten in two days. But I had to go home after that. Got home, knocked out until 2 in the afternoon. Got up and ate somethings. Today is the day I actually ate something. Really ate too much. Fever went down, but cough hasn't gone away. Time for some coughdrops again. I am so not gonna get over this anytime soon.
2/14 Valentine's day, I get depressed. I think that I don't have anybody to spend it with and that some people are happily celebrating their love. I wonder if I'll ever have a love. Will I ever find someone that won't hurt me? I've been hurt by crushes too many times. My heart growing cold at the people who try to accept me, even colder when people reject me. It hurts. Love hurts a lot more than people think. they think it's stupid that people get all upset and even try to commit suicide. I think suicide it kinda taking it overboard, but I don't think it's bad that they take it so seriously. Frankly, I think it's great that they have so much passion. I hate people who think love is stupid. I mean, there is the type of person who plays with people's heart, that's definatly not good. But I think serious love that's been broken up should be taken seriously. They have the right to feel sad adn cry, no body should say they're being stupid and full of themselves. They got their heart broken by the very person they loved. Shouldn't that hurt? Or maybe you're just so fucking full of yourself that you don't fucking care about other people?! I think that is so fucking stupid. Everybody has feeling and you shouldn't make them feel like they're below you just because you never had the feeling of a break up! God, I hate those people! I also hate those people that crushes feelings of people that like them, but they don't like them back. You should at least respect their feelings of love. Maybe you could be friendly with them, but not go and make out with your girlfriend of boyfriend right in front of them! You insensitive little fucking bastard!! I'll fucking kick you in the croch if you do that! I'll have it so you're not a male anymore!!! Yeah, sorry. It hurts to see your crush getting into a relationship right in front of you. I had to see that happen to someone and it also happened to me. It fucking hurts more than breaking up, probably. Well, I know it hurts. I wonder if I'll ever get in a relationship. Probably not because I might kill the person if they spontaneously desicde they don't like me anymore and leave me. I need a good reason to break up. If it's over in 3 days, I don't think they were serious. I hate people who play with people's hearts. I wish they would all go away. I wish I could love somebody. I wish someone would love me. I think I might start crying. I hate Valentine's Day.
2/10 Wow, been a long time since I ranted. Anyway, I haven't been leading a good life lately. And people wonder why I don't like my house. But things have been going on with my mother and my brother and it seems that my mother likes to yell at me because her preciouse son won't listen. I just go yes mother and let it off, but it's been really getting on my nerves lately. So if you don't like what the hell he's doing, then don't care about it damn it!!! He's fucking 18, you don't need to care for him, then kick him out and let him ruin his own life!! No fucking reason why he should drag me down with him!! It's not fuckgin fair that I have to take a beating because someone else makes you fucking mad. I mean, I do it too, but I don't do it constantly and I try to appologize afterwards. But now, my mother seems to do it just because I won't do anything back to her. I'm not exactly doing anything bad, she tells me to do things or else I'm going to end up like a worthless person. But that's not the bad part, she tells it like I already am. I fucking happy with who I am, so if you don't fucking like it, then it's your fucking problem, not mine! I"m not doing anything bad, breaking the law or out having sex!! So why the hell do you have to give me your fucking shit! Look, now I'm crying. I took a nap earlier and I heard my mother arguing with my brother again. I just closed my eyes and tried not to listen. I fell asleep on the couch in a pretty cold room, and when my brother falls asleep somewhere, my mother trys to wake him up or gives him a blanket. But no, not me. I either get woken up brutally by getting a yelling or I don't even get noticed! She didn't even know I was sleeping. I wanted to assure myself she still cared, but she didn't come. It hurt me. I got up like 20minutes later and I was really cranky. Like when little kids get up from a nap cranky. I started crying like the type where kids pound on the ground and whine and cry, but I did it quietly. Now I'm all fucking upset. I'm the type of person lately that I just let things sink in and don't get it out. I used to rant and get it out, now I just let it sink in. Maybe that's not such a good thing, but I still do it. Watch, I'll go bad and everyone will be excepting it. I can just see it now. God, I can't stop crying. I'm going to bed now. Bye, I hope my life gets better. Maybe it's not so bad, or that's what people say, but if you have a weak will like I do sometimes, it's really hard and I really just wish it will end soon. Who the fuck cares if people cry, if they don't appreciate you know, then it's not worth it.
1/27 Okay, this weekend. My friend KN was having a get together so we could all watch some anime, right? And we went out on a night stroll and we were walking my friend KS home and we were talking at the level of voice a little above normal. It was about 10:00 at night and KS's neighbor a cop cameout and glared at us! What a little bitch! We weren't breaking curffue or anything and she comes out and watches us walk down the street!! We weren't disturbing the peace or breaking the law in anyway!! Little whore woman. Victoria said maybe it didn't help the fact that she and I were wearing bandanas. Alana and Victoria arguing, Rei, KN, and I were talking about Tamahome and Miaka. AND SHE COMES OUT AND GLARES AT US!!! I was tempted to yell at her!! Grr!! I was so mad. When we were turning down KN's street, I flipped her off, but she didnt' see it since she was going back into her house. KN told her dad and he told us to TP the house. That made us feel good. I wanted to, but no one else did, so I didn't. That little bitch deserved it too!! Damn pregedis whore!! It's not fair how teenagers are frowned upon. Everybody was once or is going to be a teenager, so why hate them? You got that when you were a teen, so is this your little crapy way of getting even! What the fucking hell did we ever do to you!? HUH!! God damn it!! I hate, hate HATE people like that! Wait now, you'll regrete doing that!! Grrr.....I'm still mad.
1/23 I was watching my ONE PIECE dvd's with English subs the other day. and THEY SUCK!!!!! Luffy's name was not Ruffi but Roof!! And Nami is Namy, kinda the same. And then Usoppu's was Crooks Bu!!! How the hell do you get that?!?!?! That's makes me so fucking mad!!! Then Sanji's name was Sunkist. I thought they were kidding, they aren't. HE'S NOT A GOD DAMN ORANGE!!! and then Zoro's name was Suron. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO TRANSLATE ZORO!?!?!?!? (T.T) I'm gonna cry now. The subing is so horrible! I hate these people. *gets into a ball and rockes around in a corner* Stupid fucking people can't even do simple subbings. Then Buggy's name was Parchy!! Parchy!! Where the hell do you get that?! Eh!! It makes me so fucking pissed! I kept ranting about it all day until like now. then I remembered I could rant here. ^-^ LOL
1/18 Still hating Gordy, not liking my friends for being mean for no reason. But today at the table my dad had been watching my ONE PIECE dvd's with me and he said, "So this Lupi character..." and I looked at him and asked, "Huh? Who?" and he's all like, "Ya know, Lupi, the guy with the hat." I told him, "You mean LUFFY?" And then my dad goes, "Oh, is that his name?" That was weird, but I can kinda see where you could get Lupi from Luffy, but it gets even weirder. Then he asks, "So where did Lu....ffy meet Godzilla?" my jaw dropped and I asked, "Hai?! Who?!" And he replied, "The um... swordsman guy." "Zoro?" "Yes him." And then I answered his questions but I had to ask, "Where do you get 'Godzilla' from 'Zoro'? Huh!" My dad had to think a bit. "Well, I forgot who he was, but I remembered that he had green hair." (-o-";) That didn't answer the questions. Where the hell do you get Godzilla from Zoro?!?!?! Tell me!! I kept yelling that at my mother and she just laughed. Even I'm better than that!! I mean, Godzilla's like 500 feet tall and Zoro's 5"9'!! Not even close!! And Godzilla isn't even human!!! Plus Zoro has a nicer ass.
1/13 Yeah, okay. I'm hating Gordy right now because he's being a bitch and not e-mailing me after telling me that he'd do a better job of returning e-mails. Boy, that didn't last long. I'm like really excited and I can't wait until my ONE PIECE DVD's come because I ordered some more and well, they haven't come yet but it hasn't been that long but to me it has. I have up to the part where Sanji is about to fight Gin. It really pisses me off because the subing is really bad. It sad 'she' when Luffy was talking to Buggy and they spelled Grand Line 'Grand Lin'. Not only that, on the box, it has images of Luffy fighting Arlong and that's one of the parts I really wanted to see and it turns out that it wasn't in the dvd's!!! Now THAT pissed me off! So I ordered some more, hopefully they go to the Logue Town part because I ordered like 5 dvd's. They better or Im fucking complaining. What else is going on? Well, my brother had a fight with his friend J who is also friend with me. That's made me mad so I come home and tell my mother about it and she didn't catch some of it and she asked if my brother had a fight with his girlfriend M. Unfortunatly, he didn't. So, just to piss him off, I told J to call me at home. She also wants to spend the night one day and bug the shit out of my brother. He's just a fucking shallow man. I feel sorry for J that she had to tangled with him in the first place. She can do better. I'll shut up now.
1/11/03 Yeah, sorry for the lack of updates. Heppy New Year people! New thing, new things, I dyed and bleached my hair. Like half of it is brown and on the top is apple green. I'm pretty happy with it. I'm planning on making it blue after the green wears out. Don't get bleach on your skin, it burns! I was thinking, I saw this on Rum Bugger, I think, and it said something like Luffy and Zoro would be good for the song Detachable Penis. I don't really agree with that. I think Buggy is better canidate for that song! ^o^ I mean, he can separate himself, right? And the song is about a detachable penis, so what better canidate then Buggy himself? Okay, it's a little gross but it fits. I also heard that Oda-sensei of ONE PIECE is planning to have one of the crew leave and it could be Zoro!!! AAhhhh!! That's so sad!! (T.T) I like all of them the way they are!!! Waaaahhh!! Me gonna cry if it's Zoro!! He said that is might even be Luffy too! Now that's just sad. The main character leaving?
12/22 I need to send out some holiday cards. Eeek! Did I mention I'm loosing my hair? Anyway, I think I'm loosing hair because when I run my fingers through it, 3-7 strands come out. Not good. But I guess it's okay because I've always complained about having thick hair, so I'll think of it like thinning my hair out 'naturally' I guess. Funny eh? I think it's because of stress. And my hands smell funny because I've been washing windows for two days now. I don't want to do that again at least until next year! Anyway, I bought a new FY manga that's in Japanese now!! ^o^ I'm really happy about that, I like carry it around the house and squeel!! It's so funny and sad. Tamahome's family gets killed but they find out that Tasuki can't swim and Chichiri talks to Miaka about his eye. It was really sweet of him. There was also a part where Nuriko took of his shirt, he looked pretty hot too! *^-^* I also figure out why Hotohori got a teddy bear from Miaka too!! Pretty neat! Um...oh yeah, I'm planning to cut my hair like Chichiri's but my parents don't want me to. I don't get why, my father said he doesn't want me with a mohawk because I'll look like this one dude. 1) Chichiri does NOT have a mohawk. 2) I don't know who that dude is!! He told me but I forgot his name. Then my mother doesn't want me too because it's 'not possible' and I'll look weird like a freak. What the fuck is up with that?!?!?! I'm already a freak and I like Chichiri!! How dare you insult him!!! Plus, it's possible, I just have to leave my bangs and then gel them up. NOt that hard. Yeash!! Your the one pressuring me to cut my hair!! It's either Chichiri or not cut it!! Then she said to not cut it. But I'm planning on dyeing it over break anyway. She doesn't mind that. Except I can't do it until after X-mas and I have money. Green like Zoro's or Blue like Chichir's? Hmm....tough question. And then after X-mas, I plan on going on a shopping spree, don't know why, but I really want to buy a lot of anime crap I saw. Very weird thing I have going on right now. Anyway, enough ranting for one time. Chiao people!! Sign my guest book!!!!!
12/20 Okay, I found my Wing ring! Good right? I'm also pretty happy because I bought a Yugi starter deck and now I have 2 Summond Skulls. Hehe!! I know I haven't been doing any updates recently, but you gotta understand I've been going through hell week. I had finals and everything! Anyway, now that finals are over, I can stop stressing over that. I have so much stress in my life that I'm losing hair, seriously, this happened to me before. All I do is run my fingers in my hair and I get like 2-5 strands out! Not good!! I'm almost done with all of my x-mas shopping and I'm like going on a shopping spree for myself now. Happy Holidays and a Merry New Year!
12/14 I'm not entirely too bright, am I? I lost my Gundam Wing ring somewhere between the kitchen table and the computer chair I am sitting in now and they're like less than 10-15 feet away. That's pretty sad, cuz I don't know what I did with it. I traced my steps and everything. Unless I ate it of flushed it in the toilet, then I don't know what I did with it. Damn that's sad. I found a cool place where they sell cels and they even have a Tamamo shrine! ^o^ Tamamo is the first manga hcaracter I fell in love with and I haven't been able to find too many shrines and I love their's!! I should put it up on the links. I can't forget that. But first, I must find my Wing ring. It's like a tongue twister.
12/13 Okay, I am drowning in a pool of stress and hate right now. ReiRei is being a royal ass bitch acting like a know-it-all and it pisses the hell outta me!! God damn it!! Maybe if she got off her god damn stead that's so far up her ass that you don't know where she ends and it begins, she might actually see the fucking world!!! God, I wanna cry now. Not only this, but tomorrow is the day Rosey and Gordy is supposed to meet and I want some nice little pictures of them but Rosey says now that she might not be able to come! I have planned this great thing for 2 whole fucking weeks and there is no, and I mean NO fucking way that they are not gonna meet. If she needs to babysit of something, I'll bring him to her and I'll get my fucking pictures and I'll give it to them and then it will be over!!! Damn it!!! At least one thing in my life is gonna happen right and this is gonna be it!! I don't give a damn if she needs to stay home, she is gonna meet him and that's final!! Grrr...... this isn' helping at all since this stupid jackass jock that I went to elementary school with took my eraser and threw it at someone and lost it. It wouldn't be so bad if he appologized, but he did and he was all laughing and he was trying to avoid me!! I told him if he doesn't get my fucking eraser back that I was gonna beat his lilly ass head into the fucking ground!!!! I mean it now too!!! At least if he were polite, then maybe I would have let him go, but he wasn't so that doesn't matter. I hate him anyway. Little bastard!! Okay, I have waaayy too much stress in my life. I need to learn to relax but it really doesn't help that there is a big fucking finals coming up and that could end everything! Sure, that really helps me to relax, huh? Especially in English, my teacher is so great at making me feel small and helpless like I"m supposed to be, but during lunch I banged the bag of candy I got on the table for stress relief and I felt powerful and my friends told me to stop and I told them to fuck off. I need more guys to drag. I have a dragging Tamahome now.
12/9 Okay, I'm really pissed off at my friends now. At lunch, I was stressing that we only have a week until our concert and that finals were also coming up. And then I hear my friends Victoria and ReiRei talking about how athiests are sad because they don't believe in anything. That got me pissed. I told them that anthiests only believe that there is no god, not anything. They said that they knew that, but it was still sad because they didn't believe in stuff. I got really pissed, that was just dissing me! That was really crossing the line, you can mock me and stuff about me, but you may not mock what I believe in! I was going to explain that if being an athiest was sad, them maybe my life was sad that that maybe in their mind I'm a disgrace to the fucking human race!!!!! And maybe if you think that, maybe we shouldn't be friends!!! Huh!?!?!! Ever thought of that bitches!? You probably did even consider that I was an athiest, now did you? You are pratically calling me shame in my face and behind my back!!! GOD DAMN IT!! You can fuck off like any other jerks and bitches then!! Then one of my friends told us to drop it. Shut up Katja Pa!! I have the right to defend my dignity!! I stand up for what I believe for, even if it's going against my friends!! If they think what I believe in is shameful, them maybe they don't know a god damn thing themselves!!!! If you need something to believe that's real or you'll break down and die, them maybe your not much of a strong person now are you? It's always like this! Them against me!! Whatever I say, they always have to disagree with me and act all bitchy to me. Maybe your the one that's wrong, but that doesn't matter to you now does it?! Your the real pompus ass teenager, now aren't you? I at least listen to how people defend they're beliefe and see if I agree of disagree with them! Damn it! At least I try to listen!! I don't always stick to my beliefs because I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but that's how I think right now and you have no right in telling me that it's wrong and shameful without listening to my reasoning!!Your a bitch! Now wonder teenagers are classified as stobborn, because of people like you who need to be in groups and need something to believe in and won't change their own ways even if it's wrong!! YOU PEOPLE ARE THE ONES MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD! YOU ARE THE STUPID PEOPLE OF SOCIETY THAT MAKE EVERYTHING GO WRONG!! YOU ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE PEOPLE GO INSANE AND KILL PEOPLE!!! YOU ARE THOSE PEOPLE!!!!! Damn it......I wanna cry now. It's not fair!! I need new friends probably. I don't feel lioke talking to them anymore right now. Pompus asses!! Well, you can fuk off together!!! Grrrr.....
12/7 Okay, I finally got a guest book. Okay, I'm kinda happy cuz I finally figured out how to put it up. Before when I did it, they never gave me the code, so, yeah. Anyway, I really didn't want one until like a month ago but I was afraid I couldn't do the code right and my precious site would disappear again. I had my site disappear like 5 times already, I don't want it to anymore. Anway, today is my ass brother's birthday. Happy Birthday Big Brother, now go list in the army of someting and hope that we don't go to war. Hey, that's a good way to get people to protest, when they're 18, they have to enlist in the armed forces and if they don't want to go, they should protest the fucking war! Hehehe.....that sounds like a good plan o me. Now I'm kinda sounding evil, eh, like I wasn't before. It happens when you have nothing to do, all right? But I don't mind being evil, it's cool. Then you start to go insane, I'm starting to do that. I'm amazed I held out this long anyway. It's pretty cool, now I just wait for the processe to start to pick up. Oh yeah, I gotta tell Rosey something. I hope her babysitting job isn't being a pain right now. I hate kids so I really can't babysit them. I dunno, I'll probably lock them in a room or like tie them to a chair, give them popcorn, and pop in a movie. I am so not good with kids, it's not even funny. My friendsare like, I can't wait to see what you do when you have kis. And I'm like, ha! Kids, that's a good joke. Like I'm gonna have kids or get married. Don't really wanna do either right now. I'm a negative person, leave me alone you stupid optimistic people! The glass is not half empty, but it's all the way empty! Hahahaha!!!!! Run!! Run away fast and far!!!
12/6 I bought a new anime movie yester day!!! Yay!!! I'm so happy! It's the the conclusion to the Armatige I saw at Alana's house!! EEEee!!!! I watched it in Japanese, and Armatige sounds so much mose playful that way. I don't really like her English voice. It was sad in the first movie that the kid Juliean had to die. I kinda felt sorry for him, he was kinda nide. And in my movie, he came back!!!! XDDDDD He has the cutest voice ever!!!! I love him!! XD He's so playful, but he's still dead. The sad part was that Armatige's daughter found out that she was a robot and she freaked out and wouldn't get near Armatige, poor Armatige. And it was sweet in the beginning where Ross brought her flowers and she blushed and she smelled them. Armatige has even learned to cook! I think she got quicker too. But she's so playful! I love Armatige!! I like the way her is, it's so cool! I also like the music, good techno, not the cheap American type. The computer graphics are also nice. Very cool how the windows break and everything. I think this one was bloodier than the other one. Anyway, when I was buying it, I didn't see the sticker on it that said 16 and up so I thought it was like PG13 cuz the other one wasn't that bad. So I went up to buy it and the chashier guy scanned it and like a question popped up. He asked if I was 17 and I'm not yet, but almost! So I told him 'Noooo.....' and he looked at me and said, "Oh well" and he like pushed a button and made me buy it. It was pretty funny if you ask me. I always manage to get away with buying crap that you really can't buy until your older. BUT, I guess I look responsible or something. Ha! Looks can be decieving! So funny how people are fooled by looks. I like Juliean.
12/5 Okay, today I had anime club and we watched Fushigi Yuugi again. I'm so happy. Anyway, Chichiri finally came in. I'm so happy about that! ^-^ I love Chichiri!! I said that before like 2 months ago. Anyway, Chichiri saved Tomahome's family and it was really great. And then we finally got to see Nakago, and he's really cute if you ask me. Then he hurt Chichiri! How awful was that? I mean, I know he's evil and everything, but I still think he's cute so I don't want to see him hurt my other fav characters. Than I also like Hotohori and the emperoir of um.....I forgot, but he's in the region of Seriyuu and he's ugly! And Miaka even said that, it was funny. Then I was showing this girl Hotohori and it was with his hair down so I didn't think she would notice that he was a man and I mean to tell her, "I like Hotohori, but he doesn't look like a man." But it came out, "I like Hotohori because he's a man." Then she like walked away from me saying I was perverted. Oh well, it still doesn't change the fact that I like Hotohori. He's so cute. It was sad when he couldn't hold his son. I hope he gets to be reborn soon so he can! I also like Tasuki and Chichiri!! Just to tell ya.
12/4 AAAAaaggggghhhh!!! Finals are in 2 weeks!! Eek! Holy shit!!! I am so afraid of my English because I'm on the verge of being kicked back into regular English! Nooooo!!!!!! I worked hard to get to the top! I don't want to be kicked down again! You bastard ESL people!!! I'm gonna get you for doing this to me!!! I'm pretty confident about finals, they sound easy. But that's because I pay attention most of the time. But I'm afraid of my computer science final because I really don't understand Java and I don't want to fail my class. Maybe I should work hard to learn Java, but I just don't understand it!! I guess it's no use. BUT that just about fills my weeks now. Maybe this is the very thing I need to get my mind off of my depression and my thinking. But I don't want to study all the time, even though it might help. I should work on my English, I need to go buy the paper so I ccan draw a stage. But I'm not good at drawing! Yeah, and I call myself an artist, bull shit. I need to ask my dad for some help and I need to do some extra credit cuz I need some! Eek!! Oh shit!! That reminds me!! we have a concert in 1,2,3.....12 fucking days!!! Oh shit!! I better practice!! But it's boring practicing by myself especially when you don't have the melody. It sucks, that's why I don't practice, and I don't want to. I don't really like any of the pieces we're playing anyway. They all suck. Thy dwelling place is not lovely. That's what I say to you song!
12/4 Okay, I got my check cashed and everything, but I stil didn't get my money back for the stupid fucking taxes they took. It's not fair!!! Damn it!! They can't tax a person that's not 18 yet!!!! It should be against the law!!! It's not fair! I barely make enough to get by!!! I am so not happy! Not only that, Rosey's ex is making her cry and making her go to couseling. I feel sorry for her but I have nothing I can do. Stupid guys!!! I hate you all!!! My Aunt also makes me sound like an irresponsable brat bitch of a child, which I am not!!!!! It really pisses me off!!! But no, it really doesn't matter if my feelings get hurt because according to you people, I have none!!! God!!! To fucking hell with you!!!! I'm so sad.........I don't know why, but I just am. I am so ready get my brother kicked out. I am so ready to tell the fucking principal to fuck off. I am so ready to die. How come I have to be a teenager? I thought high school was supposed to be the best years in your life? So far, it hasn't been. You fucking morons!! NOt only that, but the government controls every aspect of you life, society despizes you, what's so great about this? Who every said this was great must have been drunk, high, of really stupid. This SUCKS! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!!!!!! And it's all a part of this 'changing' everybody's been talking about? Yeah, my life's changing, for the shittier. Is it just me or is life hating me? I might just be overreacting? Ha! You try having the feeling and emotions I have!! I'm just a little bitch? Well, you would be too and I don't giva fuck what you think!! Why don't you go and play hide and go fuck yourself moron!!!! Why didn't I go to the Peace Jam forom? Well, I couldn't because I have to work on my final, but that doesn't matter to you people now does it? Well, I care about my grades you little pieces of shit!!! This isn't helping at all. Not only do I have to see Rosey in pain, I get this bitching from ReiRei and it doesn't help!! Damn it!!! It really doesn't matter if my feelings get hurt, I did it to you, so you can keep doing it me for the rest of my damn life! Right!? Isn't that how it works!!!!!?!! Damn it!! I wanna cry...............Leave me alone and turn off the lights. I don't want to be with of near anybody. I'll kill you. Stay away. Be nice. I'm nice too, but you don't accept it, it's your damn fucking fault. Bye, this ranting really isn't helping much, I really need someone to listen to me say this. I think then I'll feel much better. Oh yeah, I'm sorry, I remember, I'm just here to take up space so I really don't fucking matter , now do I?
12/3 I have to hurry up and get my check cashed before it gets void cuz then I'll be severly screwed. I am starting to threaten Gordy because he said he wouldn't shave his legs. I'm planning to make him wear a pink ballerina tutu and tights. Then I thought I should make him wear pink tights, then I thought it might be better if I make him wear white tights under pink fishnets! And pink lipstick too! But he hasn't said anything to that yet.....so......yeah. I'm now thinking one of those playboy bunny costumes now. I was really pissed that he said no and that he's so fucking lazy. The young people of today! Shame on you!!! SHAME ON YOU!!!! Now I"m thinking that I should just strap him in a chair and shve his legs for him. I'm really annoyed, don't know why. Then again, I've been like this allday. That's probably because I'm on sleep dep again which isn't the greatest sign in the world. It might just be my idiot of a brother. I think, and so does everybody else, that he's going out with this girl. He I think used to be going out with this bitch girl and now he's probably going out with this other bitch that I don't like and she's a freshman too!! How horrible is that! I mean, it's kinda like taking advantage of her for the first year of high school! It's shamefull!!! Plus I don't like her, she thought I was a lesbian. I don't have a problem with lesbians but I don't like when people are misslead. They're fuck off's. I hate people. and I also found out more people have the hots for my brother. Ew, yuck! What's so great about a guy who smokes, did drugs, stupid, and has a shitty car? I don't get how people are sometimes. It scares me. I like people that are older because they have a sense of maturity and they should know their limits. This is probably why I don't have a boyfriend yet. Then again, if I had one, I might kill it. Guys are stupid! Hold on, people are stupid!!! This might be the reason why people are afraid of me. But I don't give a shit what people think. If they can't accept the real me, well, then, they can fuck off for all I care. I know there are people in the world that want to know the real me and will accept the real me. So, FUCK OFF! I need to learn some patience. I also need some sanity. then agasin, sane people scare me. I like the insane people, they're cooler! ^-^ Maybe I'm a little on the crazy side too. Sorry, but I had to rant, I'm not in the best mood ever. Naw shit Sherlock.
12/2 Yaaaaayyyy!!!! I held out for the whole month of November without saying anything to Gordy about it!!! Hehehe!! I'm happy now. He said he won't shave his legs because it's uncomfortable when it's growing back. Then keep it shaved, I said. He said he was too lazy, actually, he said something else, but I took it like that. Then I thought he should wear a little pink tutu!! Lovely eh? Rosey, his cousin, thinks I'm being cruel to him. No I'm no, he practically volunteered himself for this. He's the one that said he had done it before. That provoked me. Little pink bows in his hair and red pistick too!!!! ^o^ Maybe I am little over doing it, a little on the cruel side. Ah well, it happens. I wonder what he'll say to the tutu? I bet he already thinks I'm crazy. His cousin thinks he's weird becuase he told me that dargging was entertaining in his mind. Hee hee heee........funny. I'll get pictures and put them up when he does okay?
11/27 I got time, date, and place all settled now! ^-^ I'll take the digital camera with us so I can get some pictures of the first time they meet! Maybe I'll take the regular camera too, just in case. I plan to introduce them, start a little conversation, and then leave. I don't plan to stay and indrude on their little family reunion. I will stay if Rosey wants me too. I don't want to leave her stranded with no way back. I'm not sure she's great a starting a conversation with someone she just met. I'm not either, so I'm not gonna be much help either. ^-^; I'm so excited!! I just wanna get pictures right now. I need some. I need some of Miss Becca too.....and Gordy together. And maybe some of the other people I meet. Oh yeah, I have to remember to give Gordy one of the pictures I took. I'm only gonna give him one cuz I want and need them for myself. Yeah, I'm stingy at times. But I can be real nice, and no body wants to accept it when I am. It's sad.......(T.T) Anyway, Thanksgiving is tomorrow, so Happy Thanksgiving those of you who do it. I for one, am gonna eat fish. Oh goody........I'm allergic. Whoopdido!!! I am so screwed it's not even funny.
11/26 I'm happy right now. No more school for the rest of the week. we are finally in break. I ssooo desirve this. Anyway, I found out that it is true that Gordy and Rosey (my friend that lives 4 houses down) are cousins!! Isn't that great? Okay, that sounded like it was meant for sarcasim, but it wasn't. I'm really happy about it! It's about time Rosey had a good cousin!! ^-^ Anyway, I'm trying to arrange them to meet sometime and it's kinda hard since I don't know either one of their scheduals. I got a date, time, and place, now all I need is them to meet and for Gordy to not get lost on his way and the weather to be nice. It doesn't need to be sunny, just nice. Like some clouds and the temperature at like 50 degrees please. I don't feel like walking in freezing cold weather. Plus I want to get pictures of them first meeting and their 'first impresions'. Nice eh? Me think so too. I'll get doubles and give them to them. ^-^ Aren't I a nice person sometimes? It makes up for the most of the time I am not. Also, it's only 4 more days until I can bug Gordy about drag again!!! ^^ I am sssooooo happy about that. I bet you he didn't think I could do that. Hey, that means I could bug him when they meet! I'm gonna laugh in his face when I actually pull it off. I have to find him a nice little skirt. Tee hee hee..... I am truely evil. I'll have to make him shave his legs too!! Ooohhh!!! This is gonna be so much fun! ^o^
11/24 "This is a story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world." I don't remeber who this is by, but I wish I had that kind of power. I'm mad and pissed right now. I'm ready to break down and cry at the next thing that upsets me. It's so fucking not cool. Why does everything have to be my fault? Have to be me? Why always me? It's not always my fault. You could actually blaim the right person, but no. You just blaim me anyway. It doesn't matter what I did or if I did it. It just has to be my fault. No matter what. It's just not fair. This weather is jst perfect for the mood I'm in. There's snow outside, I don't know if it's snowing of it stopped, but I don't want to see the sun anymore until at least the middle of January. My life is a shamble and I don't give a damn anymore. Let life take it's course. Not like it matters anyway, it all ends up the same. We die. Isn't that true? I do something, I get in trouble. I don't do something, I get in trouble. I don't do something until I'm told, I get in trouble. There's no way of avoiding it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I FUCKING HATE IT!!!!!!!! God!! No matter what, I'm in trouble. I don't even care to do things anymore. It's just fucking stupid now. I hate people and I hate their way of treating me. They can just shove it! It's not just me either, it's everybody around me! They have trouble and they turn to me to bitch at. That's just bull shit! I'm not what you think and I will snap one day!! Take me for granted and see what happens!! I will rip you to pieces and you will see that I am not what you think!!! Too many people take me for granted. You think I'm here for you to bitch at? You think I do't care what you say? It actually does hurt when people turn cold on me. It does hurt when no one will take my bitchings when I take theirs. It's not cool. I hate it. People are stuid. This is why I probably don't stay with friends long. No one really understands me and they're not willing to accept the real me. I'm not all funa dna jokes and care free. Hell no, I'm like that just for a little bit! I'm gonna cry. I hate people who have it easy. Who have everything given to them. Wait til your oldr and you don't have your little parents to give everything to you. Then what are you gonna do? Your probably gonna die because you don't know how to do anything! Your a fucking moron!! Stop sponging off of people!!! Live on your own!! People have it hard enough without peope sponging!!!! Damn it!! I'm gonna cry. Where's a wonderland when you need one.
11/24 This date is technically. It's like 20 minutes past midnight so I can say that. Anyway, I've been having a bunch of things going through my head and the situation I'm in doesn't help one fucking bit! Okay, I'm sick, sleep deprived, and angry. I'm gonna rant about a whole shit load of random things. "I hate stories like this. It's like people frantically look for proof that they were alive" Jet from Cowboy Bebop Well, the quotes' close enough to his exact words. It's true. People have flashbacks right when they're dying and they go through their past looking for something. Like proof that they were alive. Whey the hell would you want proof that you were alive?!?! Isn't the fact that you lived your life enough? Isn't it enought that people remember you!!? Do you really need some kind of document that says, 'So and So was alive during xxxx-xxxx' and have like a bunch of signatures varifying it? It's so fucking stupid. People are stupid. why the hell are we here? What is our purpose? That's stupid too. Who the hell cares as long as you have a good time? We are here to take up space and destroy stuff. That's practically all we do. The universe would be a much better place if there weren't humans doing rotten things like littereing and using up all the Earth's minerals!!! I feel like shit and I want to cry now. I wasn't upset before until I talked to my friends. Maybe that's it. Maybe with all this stupid 'changing' I'm doing I don't have the right friends to fit the new me. Maybe I need to get mew friends. I have had them for a long time. Maybe I need something new and fresh. I'll keep that in mind. I don't even really know who's really my friend. Everyone's like turning against me. I can't even say one thing without getting some kind of bitch remark from someone. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!!!!!I am ready to just about pull my hair out!!! I need to be loved. I need a boyfriend. No, just a person that will love me with no strings and let me talk and help me out. I need someone who listens and won't make a bitch remark to everything I say.....I feel so alone. I'm cold. The day goes by so fast. I'm dying and I spend half my day doing nothing. I was dying from the moment I was born. We all are. It's so cruel. I hate life. Why can't I just have one thing I really want from life given to me? It's just one thing. I haven't had a miracle or wish ever come true. How come it can't be something so simple? It's not fair that everyone else get's wishes and miracle but me. Frankly, I just have bad luck. Fuck it. No pain, no fame. Not true. everybody has some kind of pain, but we're not all famous, now are we? And the people who have the most pain aren't even known in the world!!! Damn you fucking world!!!!!!!! I'm gonna start crying. I want someone to hold me close and tell me it's going to be okay even if I know it won't be. I never had that. I want that. How come I can't have that? It hurts........my fingers are cold.
11/21 Yayy!!!! Only 9 more days until I can bug Gordy again about drag!! ^-^ Hehehe......I'm so nice to him. That's what he gets for calling me short and a kid (>_<). Anyway, I was sick yesterday and I had to miss school. I didn't want to because I'll drownd in make-up work but I really didn't have a choice if I can't BREATH! Yeah, It's annoying. Now I have to make up a test. Oh well, but if I didn't get better by today, I wouldn't have been able to go to anime club and I would've missed Fushigi Yuugi and that woulda sucked even more. Our dresses for orchestra came like 2 days ago *arg* I don't want to wear a dress!!! Your crushing feminists!!! It's not fair!!!! Damn it!!! But the sad thing is, the stupid dress was made for someone like a head taller than me and was my weight but has bigger boops. That make me feel fat. Damn models. I hate you all!!!! Now my insides hurt because I've been caughing so much. It's not my fault I've got extra mucus in my lungs! Bet ya didn't want to know that did ya? Oh well, I'll shut up for now, not like anybody comes here or reads these things or even knows my site exists!! It's sad.
11/18 Okay, I went to Alana's place for her birthday and me and some other like 6 people stayed at her house for the night. Her front door wouldn't close for some unknown reason and I tried closing it, but I think it opened up again. It was kinda cold and I think I got sick from it too. I had to sleep in a space like 3-6in smaller than the width of my shoulders, it wasn't comfortable. Yeah, yeah, people say I coulda moved, but then I would have been in other people's ways, and then they would yell at me and tell me to move. They said, "No we wouldn't." but at that time, they woulda. and if I moved when everybody technically went to sleep, I would have stepping on someone while moving. Wouldn't that have been a nice little greeting. Anyway, I'm sick and I don't feel too great. So, if I'm bitchy to you, I have a reason to be. You would be too if you constantly had to blow your nose and it hurt like fucking hell when you caughed or sneezed. I'm probably not gonna get over it soon either. It took me forever to get over bronchitis. I think I kinda still have it too. I'm sick all year around, it's not even funny. I maybe have like, maybe, 20 days out of the whole year when I'm not sick. That's probably exaderating it, but it's mostly true. Ow, my toe hurts, that fucking bastard. I have asthma and I have allergies. I mighg as well live in a bubble. It's so sad. Okay, I have to get more tea so my throat doesn't hurt so much. Bu-bbye people.
11/16 I got my pictures, I love em. I will put them up soon. Anyway, if I say I want to get pregnant in the next 4 years of my life, someone shoot me. I will probably be stupid and ignorant when I say that so please, give me a wake up call. A nice little reality check. I need that, and so do other people. Stupid people who go and get married without seeing if they will actually thinking if they will stay with thier partner for the rest of their life. It's stupid that people rely on other people for stuff. Like rent, if your parents pay your rent, then what are you gonna do when they're gone? I bet you that you're gonna be a total reck because you didn't save and you don't know how to pay rent and you're gonna drowned in debt!!! MUHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!! I'm crazy. Anyway, I get to enjoy myself this weekend after a hellish week. I need to get a goatee or something of the sort so I can rub at it when I'm thinking like all the weird evil people do. I do it anyway though. I need to get myself one of those little hammers that you can bop people with. Then I'll be unstoppable. Hehehe...........oh yeah, I might do NaNoWrimo next year. Keyword being might okay people? That's if I'm feeling creative next year. I kinda found out about this too late this year. Oh well, there's always next year. I hate this week. Actually, I found out something really interesting. One of my friends might be related to one of my con people!!!! Isn't it funny how it all works out? The world is screwed up. Everybody is related to everyone some how. At least that's what I think. that means we all could have Bin Ladin blood in us. (0.0) Scary huh? But that's how the world works. It's all screwed up and everyting causes everything to happen and it's all tied together. I think about weird stuff...................
11/15 Wow, almost a whole week of no ranting on this page, amazing. Okay people, I finally finished my roll of film from the con and I'm going to get them today!!!! Yaaaaayyyyy!!!! Once I figure out how to work the digital camera we have, I'll post them here okay? I don't have too many because I didn't have a camera until the last second at the con. *eek* Sorry, but I still have some pictures!!! I'll put them up. I've been putting up some art, but it's not that great. Go figure. Look at is and give me some pointers about mouse drawing please!!!!! ^o^ Bye for now!!!!
11/9 Okay, right now, I'm like going ear-ring happy. I'm having fun making earrings for myself. And I'm only making of of each, just for fun. It seems like each time I make one, it gets heavier. Oh well, no biggy. Speaking of jewelery, my mom's been giving my my grandmother's jewelery a lot lately. I wonder, is she dying? Is that what you do when you thin you're dying?! Shit!! That's not a good thing!! WWWWWWwaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! I want my parents to be alive when I go to college though!! I thought people were living longer now-a-days? What happened to that huh?! Then again, she just might be doing it because I'm getting older and 'maturing' supposedly. Heh......that's funny. Me maturing. Ha ha.......you people are funny. :D
11/9 It's like 1 o'clock in the morning right now. I don't know why I'm up his late, but I'm up. Anyway, last night, I actually got sleep. Which isn't a good thing because I'll be really grouchy, and I was. Then tonight, I slep from like 2100ish to like 2200ish, then I got up, then I went back to sleep at liike 2220 and got back up at 2300 and I fell much better now. I've been playing games and I'm kinda hoping one of my friends will get up at thsi time of night and talk to me. ANYWAY, to the real topic. computers are turning against me. First, my floppy disk goes crazy on me and I lost my little fantasy thing that I've been writing for two years now. Then, my computer I use at school didn't show me this on Wensday and it showed me the correct thing on Friday. It pisses me off. Then now I can't open my piece of writing I was doing out of shear boredom. Which is really pissing me off!!! Why does this fucking disk hate me so much!?!?! I'm fucking going to kill it if it says it won't open my translations I've been doing!!! Fuck you disk!! And when I save it to the harddrive, it does the fucking same thing!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!!??? Is it some kind of conspiracy?! Damn it! I hate you disk!! *whine* I don't like this. I've lost like 3-5 peices of writing from this thing. and I liked all the works too! I'm gonna cry and throw the fucking disk if it happens again. Frankly, I want to start crying now. (T_T)
11/7 I'm really not happy with you Americans right now. You people are stupid and ignorant!! All of you!!! Okay, so here's the story: in my acting class we were supposed to make jokes about something and the theme was sumo wrestler. They were making fun of them and saying that they are fat and everything. That's very fucking insluting to my country! Sumo wrestlers are highly recognized people. They have a lot of muscule and they are respected people!! Just because you don't know that doesn't give you the right to diss them. I hate you ignorant people who don't even try to learn. And another thing, jocks. They are the most stupidest and annoying people in the world!!! I hate you amongst all people!! You think you're all great and popular just because you can run into another person. Well guess what? It's not that great. Welcome to the real world buddy!! Jocks who think football is the greatest thing in the world, well your stupider than the normal jocks!!!! Football is really stupid because it runs the schools. Isn't education what school is for? Not football. It's so stupid, and you can't make a living off of it either. Look at all of you who are jocks, do you really think that all of you would become proffessionals? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!! It really pisses me off!! How can you depend on something that can be ruined by a single wound? You break you leg, BAM!! Your career is over. It's so stupid. America is screwed up. I heard a joke from somebody. What do you call a person who speaks three languages? A trilangual What do you call a person who can speak two languages? A bilingual What do you call a person who speaks one language? An American It's a stupid joke, but it's so fucking true. Americans don't know one fucking thing. I'm amazed this country isn't being taken over right this second!! then again, this might change. I hate people.
11/5 Okay, right now, I'm back on the sleep dep. program. I was off it like.....4 days and now I"m back on it. Now I know something's wrong. But I'm not gonna work to make it right, I don't give a shit anymore about other people. I'm kinda mad because no one e-mails me anymore, and no one knows about this site, that's probably my fault though. Anyway, back to what I was going to say. Today, we were playing this song and the teacher was like, "Hold on, what's a movie with monks in it?" And I said, Fushigi Yugi, but she didn't hear me. Then she was like, "Anyway, imagine going into a temple and them you hear this low singing." And I got pissed. I told her, "They don't sing in temples!" And she was yes they do. NO THEY DON'T!! They always do some kind of ritual or something where they these words with a ceritne rythme which to you stupid American's ears sound like singing? What the hell is up with that?! IT's more like a chant damn you!!!! It's not really, but it's the closest thing in you damn vocabulary!!! THEY DON'T FUCKING SING IN TEMPLES!!!! THEY CHANT AND THEY SAY WORDS TO THE DEAD!!!! DAMN IT!!! They don't sing!!!! *whine* I'm gonna cry. I'm not in a good mood and nothing helps it. God, I wouldn't be surprised if I stab the next person that annoyes me. I'm on a edge like this big!!! (Makes a space with fingers about 0.5mm wide) I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!!! GO TO HEAVEN AND STAY AWAY FROM MY HELL!!!!! I'm not that crazy yet. I promise. What value goes that really have?
11/3 Okay, today I had to meet with my classmates to practice and make up most of our presentation for English. We were supposed to meet at a Starbucks. I walked there cuz it was close, but on the way (I was mostly wearing black except for my jeans and I had on sunglasses and a black bandanna) I was walking along, listening to music, minding my own business. I walk by these people, and they stop what they're doing and look at me. That kinda made me pissed. I got there like 10 minutes early and I waited. Then finally Victoria came and I told her that people were looking at me. And she told me, "That's because you look like your a gang member or something." That kinda shocked me. I mean, do I look THAT scary to people? Anyway, we went inside and we waited for the other two members of our group. The girl came like seven minutes later and the guy didn't come for 20 minutes!!! 20 WHOLE MINUTES!!!!!! Anyway, we got to talking and working, and we were thinking up of questions for our jepardy game. I don't know what we said, but this old man all of a sudden just comes to us and says, "Did I tell you the story about cussing?" And he tells us this whole story. I kept looking at him because I didn't want to be disrespectful by looking away. I kept looking at the only guy in our group because he kept making funny facial expressions like he was wanting to say, "Who the hell are you?" or "What the fuck do you want?" It was really funny. And then he left and we all looked at eachother with weird looks and we asked each other if we knew that guy. We said no, and we had no clue why the fuck he came up and said that. It was relaly weird. And then we left for Wal-Mart without buying anything from Starbucks. We bought saran wrap for our project. Yay!!! Saran wrap man!!! ANYWAY, then when Victoria and I were in line, another old man (who was behind us in line) teld us a joke. Then we like pathetically laughed and then he tried to make conversation with us. We met back at Starbucks again and worked some more. This time we bought something. Then Victoria and I said that another old man told us a joke and the other two people said the same thing. And all three men told us jokes. It was pretty freaky. Victoria and I like got tense every time an old guy walked past us. We were afraid that they would come tell us a joke again. One of my things I will now start doing is avoiding old people for a while. I'm scared that they're stalking me. You would be too.
11/2 Okay, back to my strange hobby of getting guys to drag. I got a good deal going on with Gordy Wardy. I was pestering him last night and he told me that pestering won't work. And I said it might, and he told me "Look, here'a a deal-you don't pester me about dragging for the whole month and I'll STRONGLY consider it." I was happy then. I told him "Hell yeah!!" And so I can't bug him about it for this month, but I can talk about it everywhere else!!! ^-^ I have a weird and obssessed hobby -_-;. Anyway, I'm still trying to get him to be Anthy, Hold on folks! I'll get it!!! But the whole deal was is that I stop bugging him AND I wear a dress. *Sigh* Oh well, as long as it's warm, I guess I'll have to wear a dress to a meeting. If it still fits me. I have to like loose 10lbsa to fit into my "uniform" or also known as dress for my orchestra anyway. But all I want to do it grow a bit. But this is all worth it to see Gordy Wardy drag!!!!!!! ^-^ God, I'm sssoooo weird.
11/1 Yeah, okay, I was talking to this guy that's on one of my ML's and he told me that he used to do drugs, and I snapped. Like literally. I was telling him shame and I was like yelling. Good thing it was online, because is it was in person, I think I mighta killed him. It's probably because sleep dep finally caught up with me. Yeah........hehehe........Anyway, Today I fell asleep in math and in English I found out that I'm not keeping up with it's standrads so they're gonna kick me out if I don't raise my grade. I'm in honors so technically I'm 'failing' which really sucks because English is not my best subject and I suck at it. But I don't want to be kicked out because regular English is too boring. I need to learn English. And I went to Government saying to myself 'I am not failing English, I am not loosing my sanity." It was kinda funny cuz the people around me looked at me strangely. I could care a shit less. Anyway, I was on the ledge already then too, cuz I had a fight with ReiRei at lunch. Then I get home and this guy thell me about drugs. I'm really against drugs. And I start shunning him and everything. Drugs are bad people, don't do it. If you do, I will personally come to kick your ass. And don't smoke either. It's just as bad for, but not only that, IT'S LEGAL!!!!!! What's so great about ruining your health and looking cool by doing stupid things? People do such stupid things lately, it's not even funny anymore. It's getting to be where age won't cut it. "Oh, I was young." Isn't shit for what's wrong and right. You should know what's right and wrong by the time your outta elemantary school!!! What the fuck is wrong with you people!?!!??!?!?!Ggrrrr.........I'm going to kill them people. And I also hate people who diss and hate freshmen in high school. I mean, sure they're annoying, but you were once a freshman too. You remember how it was, so why should you hate them when you are older? I hate that, it's like an endless circle. They did it, so I'm gonna do it back. It's fucking stupid. This is why I'm gonna rule the world.
10/30 I thought of this this morning and I got up like 50 minutes before I'm supposed to. Maybe not a good thing, but that's not what I want to talk about. I was talking to Gordy Wardy last night and he said something about his brother being over right, and I'm trying to get Gordy to drag. So I thought, "Hey, maybe Gordy Wardy's brother will drag too!" I asked Becca to ask him, but I don't know if she will. I told Gordy Wardy that this morning my sending him an e-mail. I wonder what he'll say to that. Anyway, then I thought up that Gordy and his brother could be like Utena and Anthy! What a great idea. Then I got to thinking, who would Gordy Wardy be? Would he be the weak Anthy or the strong Utena that protects her. I think Gordy Wardy's brother is younger than he is, but I think it'll be funny if Gordy Wardy the older one is protected by his younger and he should be Anthy! Hehehehe ^-^!!!! I'm strange beyond all matter, but that's okay. A nice way to spend time with your brother, have a nice time dragging with him! Yeah!!
10/29 I've got this thing going lately about getting guys to drag. Actually, it's more like guys that are going to con to drag. I'm trying really hard toget Gordy Wardy to drag. Gordy Wardy is formally known as Gordon. I told him I would him the clothes and shoes, I told him I would pay him, now I've even told him I would wear a dress. I think I'm getting one step closer to getting him to drag each time, so that's a good thing ^-^. I told Becca this (Becca is the Executive Director for and I helped with the 15 guys too. I did all this work to see if I could go to the meeting. I didn't mention it until I was going home from Alana's place and then my mom says no. Again. That really pissed me off! I got home and I went to my room and I slammed the door closed and I cried. It really helps, well kinda. I cried a lot, and I now feel llike bitching so here I am. I had a good time between 5 Saturday and 11 today. Else then that, my weekend was craptacular. I HATE PEOPLE!!Next time I have a damn fucked up crowd, I'm gonna abuse my power and make them stand 100 yards away. Or was it 100 feet? Oh well, I don't fucking care. Just far away from me and my work. Did I say I'm a soccer refferee?
10/25 Okay, I'm invited to a Halloween party at Alana's place this Saturday and I'm gonna spen the might there just because she said we could. ReiRei's going too. And Sunday, I just found out this morning that I have one last con meeting for this year and I'm planning to go. I had this great weekend planned and I ask my mother for a ride and she says no. That really pissed me off. She says I'm gonna be out all weekend, I have to pick the sleep-over or the meeting. She says I've been "out too much". Well fuck that!!! I haven't gone out in like weeks!!! I deserve a break too ya know!!!! Not only that, she comes downstairs where I'm sitting eating and she asks if I'll do one of my brother's games. I didn't even look at her. She yells at me and then she comes crawling to me, saying that he needs a fucking replacment!!!! Well ya know what? I don't give a fuck!!!!! He can find his own fucking replacment and stop taking up my Saturday time!!!!!!! I signed up for what I signed up for, and that's it!! I'm sick and tired of doing his job!!! And he's suposed to be the older more 'responsible' one here! Somehow, I don't see that happening? I wonder why now huh?!!!! Oh god was I pissed. I asked my brother if he would take me if I paid him round trip. He said $6 which is kinda expensive, but at least I get there. I"m gonna pay him to take me. I don't care what my parents say. I bet you she forgot already. I HATE IRRESPONSIBLE PEOPLE THAT TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED!!!! That's it for now. I don't need help, really.
10/24 Okay, lately I've been depriving myself of sleep and I'm really happy in the morning. This is starting to scare people. I'm really fine with it. Like yesterday, no, this morning, I got up at 3 o'clock in the morning to get online. It was fun. Hehehehehe!!!!!(Prances around room smiling and dancing.) Okay, I'll stop that now. But I really don't know what's wrong with me. I never did this before. I really don't need professioal help. Really.
10/22 Okay, I remembered what I was gonna talk about earlier. Okay the scary thing I found in my house about several weeks ago. I was scanning our bookshelf to see if we had any interesting books. I found a book with a strange cover on it and I pulled it out wondering what the hell it was. I flipped open some page in the middle and I didn't recognize it, so I went to the front and do you know what I read? It said Holy Bible I screamed and almost threw the book. It scared the hell outta me that I was holding a bible. I mean, my family is technecally is Buddist you see. And it freaked me out to see a Bible lying around the house. I put the book back as quickly as I could and sat down trying to calm myslef. Then I relized that my hands were unsanitary and I jumped up and went to wash my hands, thouroly, might I add. Shit, that was a scary thing that happened. It was scarier than Richard Simmons stripping in front of me! Wait, I wouldn't go that far. But it wa still pretty scary. If ya haven't noticed yet, then your pretty thick headed, but thhis page has things more about me then my About Me page. Interesting.
10/22 Today, it was FREEZING!!!! It was sssoo cold I can't believe it. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about. Today, my friends including ReiRei were talking behind my back. Actually, it really wasn't behind my back. It was right in front of my face frankly. One of my friends was leaning over and telling ReiRei something is her ear. That didn't bother me. Then both of them looked at me and started laughing. Now that, pissed me off. I chased them and beat them with a waterbottle and demanded that they tell me whatever they said. They refused to. Then, they go and tell Victoria(Sky, Ocean, Wind, Sea) and she starts laughing too!!! That made me real mad and sad. I pressured her to tell me, but she didn't. I beat the girl who told ReiRei in the first place and demanded that she tell me. She said that if she had told me, that I would kill her. I told her that if she told me, I would kill ReiRei instead, but ReiRei argued with that. I ended up not knowing and hating my friends right now. I hate you people!!!! Damn traders!!! Bitch!!! Grr....I need to keep my blood pressure down a bit more. It's not great for a person to have heart problems in high school. I'm gonna die anyway, so it really doesn't matter, BUT I'd like to have a healthy heart until I'm 20, at least thank you. I have this thing where I twitch my left eye when I'm pissed, and it's been happening a lot lately. It's quiet funny. Just shows you shouldn't talk behind my back, or in front of my face either. You talk shit about me one bit, I'm gonna kick your ass ssssooooo bad that you won't know how it was like before your ass hurt. That's what I'm gonna do at the con if some guy hits on me again. I'm gonna be wearing high heels so it's gonna hurt if I kick you ass then. I need to get myself some steel toed boots so it doesn't hurt me when I kick somebody. That's what I'm gonna get myself for Christmas if I have any money left over. Remember people, I don't believe in religous crap. I just have fun buying crap for my friends and my family. Not really, well, kinda I guess.
10/18 The government. The people that try to control you and every aspect of your life. They practically brain wash you! They take your money and your rights as a human away, making them more powerful. They say stuff like, epual protection and equal rights. Well, bull shit!! Nothing is equal!! Even in the courts, the judge will lean on the better person's side and stick to them! I thought the courts were supposed to be equal? Well, there not!! Bull shit about that stuff, you don't even enforce it!! God, this society is fucked up people!! I can't believe you!! The government are the fucked up people that take your money and give it to do stupid research projects to amuse themselves!!! They're the people saying that you need to do this and that! It's totalitarism I tell ya!!! But no, none of you believe me. Watch, you will believe me when I rule the world some day. You will all believe in what I say. I'm a totalitarion, am I? No, the government is. Not me.
10/16 Guys, the most stupidest things on the face of this Earth. Sure, some of them are real nice and cool, but the rest of the 90% isn't. I have the worst luck with guys, I think they're a good guy and all, then it turns out, I'm wrong. I hate it!!!! They just grr!!!!! I swear, I will kill the next guy who takes advantage of me or any of my fucking friends!!!!! You can bet your fucking life on it baby!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!! I am paraniod, leave me alone. I haven't really tried to kill anyone to your knowldge right? RIGHT?! Grr....i hate traders! If you ever and I mean EVER become my boyfriend or my friend's and you cheat or lie or break up with them and or get together with them for a stupid reason, you don't know what I'll do to you. I'll think up of the most terrible torture ever and I will torture you to death. I hate stupid people like that. I hate guys that only think of themselves or guys that make up stuff just to get out of that moment and never really mean it! Grr....I swear that when I rule the world, I'm going to make you people that did those horrible things to those nice girls, I am ssssooo gonna make it so you wish you never ever did that. I HATE MEN!!
10/13 I figured out why I'm so moody lately. It's just because.That's gonna be my excuse from now on. I'm polite most of the time and I keep things to mysefl a lot and that's not really heathly. Once in a while, I'll get all bitchy and snoty and moody, that's the point where I need to express myself. It's like the breaking point for my endurance. I think if I keep it bottled up longer than that, I'll explode. I don't know what I'll do then. Anyway, some time, I don't know when. It might be everyday, month, week, but every so often, I'll be bitchy. I guess you'll just have to deal with it, cuz that's probably better then when I explode, because I don't know what I'll do when that happenes. Hehehe.....yeah....anger good.
10/12 Lately, I haven't been answering my ML's and I don't feel like myself. It might actaully be the depression setting in. This guy from the Ml even IMed me today and asked why I wasn't posting lately. I just told him that I didn't have anything interesting to say, which is true. the people I want to get mail from, like my close friends, don't e-mail me because I see them like everyday. But still, I'd like to be mailed so I know I'm loved. Nobody's on IM when I'm on either. It's so not cool. I'm as bored as hell and I have nothing to do whatsoever except bitch about my problems. I have the main 5 of OP character profiles done, but I just need to get pictures to go with the profiles. I'm also done with one of the chapter translation of OP, but I'm not gonna put it up until I get the profiles up, just because. I do have pictueres and the profiles for Gundam, but I really don't feel like I want to put them up. I'm lazy, you know that. I quit music recently and I still wanna quit more because SOME PEOPLE still wanna talk about the reason I quit, mainly because of one person. It REALLY pisses the shit outta me!!! I hate those people!!! Grr....I need to calm down. But I have the right to bitch today. I was out in freezing cold weather this morning at 7:45 in the freak'n morning with shorts on!!!! And Not only that, it just gets colder. Damn you fucking screwed up weather!!!!! I hate you!!! Back to those people who praise that one person that made me decide to quit music. I fucking hate you too!!!! Why don't you go play hide and go fuck yourself?! Huh!!!! Grrr...am I a little on the moody side? ABSOFUCKALUTLY!!!!! Can't you fucking tell???!!!! Grrrrrr.... I need to kill something.
10/10 Technically 10/11 Kids, the scary things of today. Sure they're cute when they're little and happy, but when they cry and get older, they get real nasty! That's how it is with pets too, that's why people throw them away! I hate people who do that to animals!! They have feeling too ya know!!! What if you were just thrown out as a kid, huh? How would you feel? Save animals.
10/10 At what point in life to temper tantrums turn into attituid problems? And when do these attituid problems become anger management? Sorry, I'm just thinking. I must be paranoyed again. I constantly check my mail, I look for smokers to tell them to go to hell and to stop smoking. I also tell my friends and people I know that like anime to pre-reg now for the Nan Desu Kan and I tell them it's only $25. PRE-REG FOR CON NOW!!!! IT'S ONLY$25!!!!
Why am I so short circuited lately? I told this kid to fucking get out of my chair today too. Wonder why? Because he didn't get out of my chiar, that's why!!!! I need to sort out the stuff the voices in my head tell me to do. I'm disorganized.
10/10 I put up a new link to my friend's Digimon site, it's pretty good so go people! I'm not in a good mood lately (dur). I went to breakfest today with my orchestra. They didn't have enough damn seats for us so we offered to sit in the fucking smoking area. My friends and I hate smoke. I mean hate
! I have asthma and I couldn't stand it! the waiteress were horrible too!! I wanted to call them a bitch. I didn't feel like leaving a tip, but I did. My teacher even called in and made reservations, but they didn't fucking listen. I will never be a waiteress. NEVER!!!
10/8 The pain. It's right here, around my chest, deep, deep inside. It's cold and dark in here. It really hurts. There's a stabbing pain. Oh, the pain! Why can't they just leave me alone? Why is it always my fault? It's not! Just leave me the fuck alone!! Why do you have to pick on me? Is it because I'm not specail enough? Is it because I'm not talented enough? Is it because I wear different clothes than you? Is it because I act different than you? Well, you know what? I don't give a fuck what the hell you think!!!! So leave me alone you fucking bastards!!!! I hate you all!!! And all the people who praise people on stupid things like jocks. I hate people like you! You should all just die!! Go away...................This is why I came home and ate ice cream today. Ice cream is a good depressant food. The more depressed I am, the more I try to hide it and act happy, and I get less sleep but I don't get all bitchy. I will act all happy and clingy. A sure sign I'm depressed. I don't need help.
10/8 Okay, we had our concert and WE SUCKED!!!! It was just horrible! We weren't togather, we rushed, and we sucked!! (naw shit) I couldn't see worth shit and the audience look at us like we were fucking wating their time. Well, fuck you!!! We worked hard too!!! It's always the fucking band!!! We need more time anyway. Anyway, we sucked. But tomorrow we get to go to breakfest. Whippee!! How the hell am I gonna get back to school?
10/4 OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!!!! We have a concert in 1,2,3...5 days!!!! Holy shit!!! What the fuck are we gonna do!!! I hate this. This is bad people. We sound like crap and I can't even pluck as fast as we're supposed to go!! Oh yeah, I don't think I told you this before but I play the cello in school. I am currently in 3rd chair and we have 7 cellos, so that's pretty good. Anyway... my index finger hurts from plucking so much(whine). And on Tuesday we have to go in at 6:45 in the fucking morning to practice!!!!! Oh, god! I usually get up at that time!! But the good thing is that we get to skip 5th hour that day. BUT STILL!!! I can't be deprived of my sleep!! Teenagers need 10-12 hours of sleep!!! Its true, I read it in a magazien. Weird huh? I need my fucking sleep or I'll be cranky as hell!!! Got it people!!!!!!???? Tip: don't wake me up early in the orning. I'll beat the shit outta you.
Ooh my fucking god!!!! I hate this book!!! Okay, I have to read like 3 books in English and It's really pissing me off!!!! I can't read that fast and that many books! Not only that, I have to read, Invisible Man and the beginning is like ssoo boring!!!! I can't take this!!!! Argh!!! And the beginning of To Kill a Mockingbird was like hell to read! It took me like 6 hours to read the 1st 3 pages of it!! That was during the con, might I add. But anyway, I hate these kinds of books. You know what, since this page is more me bitching than me randomly blabbing so maybe I'll call it Nami's Bitching instead of ranting. I'll think aboutit. I've been doing tarot cards a lot lately. At first, I thought those fucking card hated me. Then I started doing then again and they are actually right. They don't hate me, they tell me the truth, but I don't like this truth. NOT COOL! How come my life can't be happy like everyone else's? WHY MEEEEE!!!!!! This, is why I don't believe in god. I have never seen a miracle but I have seen deaths. Isn't that strange? I thought god was supposed to be all high and mighty? Huh!! Damn you people!!! Your being fooled!!! Don't believe in anything that you can't proove!!!!
Okay, I made a links page and I did put some links to it. Most of them have anime realated crap on them. The conventions is the one in Colorado that I volunteered for for the 1st time. It was actaully quiet fun. I went Sunday last year and it was fun, but not as fun as going the full week-end this year. I went and I was supposed to work with ReiRei in logistics, but this guy Gordon (he's the site master of Cellular Smoke Signals) he wanted me to be his replacment in 10 years because I was like him, and he took my away from ReiRei and I was his monkey on Friday, the first day of the con. And the next day, I go back and be his monkey again. Oh yeah, did I mention I was sick? I still am, but that's not the point. I was helping him out at the volunteer/staff registration desk in the live gaming room. I was going through the pile of new badges that he had made for the people that didn't have them the day before and he tells me "You have a badge in there too." And he's right. After one day of volunteering, I'm a staff now!!! That fucking scared me. And as the weekend went on, Gordon kept telling the volunteers that if they kept working for the con, they might be a staff next year. I protested him. After one day I'm a staff. Yeah, I felt specail but I still I wanted to be a volunteer for at least 1 year so I can see how the con worked, but I didn't get to, oh well. I had a good time though. I'll shut up now.
I finally got the stupid links to work correctly! God, that bugged the shit outta me! Okay, I'll make a links page soon people! You know I'm lazy, don't peck at me! Hm... what is interesting that happened? Oh yeah, I'm really getting into Fushigi Yuugi (Fushigi Yugi) and I really like Chichiri!!!! Eeeee!!!! He's so cute!!! But, he's old. I like too many old anime guys. That's because all the characters my age aren't cute! I have a reason!!! I need a boyfriend!!! Waaaa!!!!! Oh, and I also like Master of Mosquiton I think I spelled it right. Anyway, it's ssooo funny!!!!! OH, my cheeks hurt from lasughing so hard. You can't help but like Mosque! Hehehe... he looks like he's on drugs when he sucks blood. Don't do drugs people!!! It's bad!!! And don't drink and drive!! I will shun you! Don't smoke either, not only are you damaging your own health, but also the people's health who have to breath in the smoke you breath out!!!! Shame on you!!!!!!!
Okay, I know I haven't been doing much updates, but I really just don't feel like it. I was volunteering at Nan Desu Kan and I play this guy Gordon's monkey. And I learned how to register people for volunteer and staff. I went with ReiRei(she used to help me before) but he separated us because he wanted me his monkey NOW!! I felt really useless the first day. I'm good at that. I worked maybe like 16-20 hours but I didn't work really hard labor like ReiRei did (-_-;). Sorry. But I had the greatest time in my life!!! It may as well be the 3 of the best days in my life! I felt so alive!!! Actually. I was sick, but that didn't really matter. I only needed a little sleep and I didn't have to eat much to function eiter. It was funny! I bought a lot of ONE PIECE stuff and I will take a picture of it soon and put it on my site. I got the cutest Zoro doll!!!!! Oh, I love him so much!!! I even got a poster of the main six. They all look so happy. I was that happy then too. And now, the con is over. I feel empty, but I'm a staff now so I'm happy. I hope one of you people can make it to the con next year. It's so cool. All of my friends that liked anime was there too, so take your friends!!!! Okay, bu-bye for now.
Okay, I started school and this is what, the 5th day? I can't get my stupid locker open!! It like hates me! Stupid locker! Okay, I'm done.
Email: nami_roronoa@gundamwing.net
