Death was not a new concept for Aoshi Shinomori, but there were certain things he had never even considered.

One was the possibility that Misao would die before him, and the second was that what would ultimately cause her death was something that could not be understood or even seen.

He stood uncertainly at the entrance to the cemetery where he was told the bodies of the five who had died were taken to. He had managed to threaten the information on their burial sites out of one of the men who had been assigned to both nurse him and confine him to the Aoiya.

Okina had chosen to inter their remains in a quiet graveyard on the outskirts of Kyoto. He had wanted his beloved Misao close to their home, as did the families of the other four persons to have died did. After all, most of these people were never part of the original Oniwabun group, but simply those who had recently become part of the life at the Aoiya.

The hairs on the back of his neck rose, warning him that he was being observed. Without turning around, Aoshi addressed the intruder. "You may come out of your hiding place, Okina-san."

"I did not wish to intrude, Aoshi," the elder man suddenly appeared next to him, "I was merely keeping an eye on you."

"I am fine, Okina-san." Aoshi answered impassively.

"If you were, Aoshi," the older man crossed his arms, "I would not have been able to keep up with you."

Aoshi did not rise to the bait. "I do not mean to cause so much trouble, Okina. I could not just sit there. I needed to see her."

Okina nodded and silently, the two moved down the path into the graveyard with Okina leading, and the tired Aoshi following at his own pace. Along the way, they paused to note the places where some of the Aoiyans had been placed. Finally, Okina halted at a spot where flowers were newly laid.

Okina quietly prayed and paid his respects. He glanced at Aoshi whose head was bowed, his hair covering his eyes and whatever emotion lay in them.

Okina sensed Aoshi's wish to be left alone for the moment, and moved slightly away. "I will wait for you near the entrance."

With Okina out of sight, Aoshi sank to his knees and slowly crumpled to the ground. It was not his nature to shed tears, but they came anyways, silently running down his face.

He had come here, hoping to sense something of Misao's presence, to prove to himself that she wasn't really dead. But with Okina standing there, his eyes watering as he stood at her final resting spot, he suddenly had to accept that she was gone-- gone before he had ever expressed the admiration he had for her, the desire to protect her always, and to love her until the end of their days.

Over the last several years, she had woken an awareness in him, of something other than mere friendship. Too bound to his fighting ways, it had taken so long to figure out, and longer yet to figure out what to say and how to say it. More than that, he had held back his feelings, fearing that he was simply not good enough to deserve her. Misao had been one of the few, pure things in a life checkered with killing and cruelty.

As he pushed himself off the ground and contemplated a white flower that he had picked up, he confronted the desire within him to join her. She had already taken part of him with her to her grave; why not simply give the rest away?

A smaller voice told him that thought was wrong. At that moment, he hated that voice.

Why continue to live a life that was empty?

What reason was there to keep living?

He sat crouched, meditating on that a bit longer before he was forced to cast that hope for a sudden death aside. Misao would never have wanted that for herself or for him. She would have kept on living, hopeful and cheerful as always. She would not take life's sadness and uncertainty and give up.'

Aoshi's mind went blank momentarily while his body was racked by additional coughing. 'Stupid man,' he thought darkly, 'You'll be dead soon anyways at this rate.'

With the flower cradled gently in his hands, he stood and walked back to the entrance where Okina was waiting.

Aoshi's face had calmed slightly, Okina noted and decided to speak now. "Forgive my bluntness. It seems too soon to speak of it, but I must say what is burdening my heart. And that is, I miss her, Aoshi and will miss her for the rest of my life."

They walked slowly away from the cemetery, back towards home. "Rather than living life like an empty shell because she is not here, I must live life as she would have. In doing so, I honor my love for her, and show that I have understood everything about how she lived." Okina checked to see if Aoshi was indeed paying attention. " You are now the sole hope of carrying forward something good from the Oniwabun legacy. I too will pass soon, and the responsibility of taking care of what remains of the Oniwaban, the Aoiya, and Kyoto must reside with someone who will live up to the task, Aoshi."

He paused. "I know that you were devoted to Misao, that she was the light that brought you back to sanity and that gave many of us the will to rebuild our lives. Now you are the only one left now of us to build a new future for our clan. You must promise me to live out the life Misao would have tried to lead."

"The life Misao would have tried to lead." Aoshi repeated to himself.

"She was special," Okina's eyes watered suspiciously, "she who loved so many, forgave so easily, and believed in the inevitability of change. She believed you could do that, Aoshi, that you could change -- even when others did not. She waited for that day you could believe that, so that you could love who you were, believe yourself worthy of her love, and love her in return."

"I hear what you say, Okina-san, but " Aoshi shook his head slightly, "I am unable to accept it completely."

"It will take time," Okina replied sadly. "Meditate upon it more. But - don't forget that time is not unlimited. At some point, you must leave your isolation, Aoshi, and go on living."

Aoshi nodded numbly, the point clear. It was still not something he wholly wanted to accept. It was not in his nature to let things go easily. But for now - he could not try to understand it all at once. His body, protesting over all the sudden activity, was starting to ache again. He slowed in his walking, overtaken by a fit of coughing.

HE allowed Okina to assist him; he who liked to depend on no one other himself and continued walking, as there was nothing else to do but walk towards home.

He had to go on living, in whatever time was left. But he had to have more time.

        ~ ~

When several days had passed, and Obaasan had not received any word from Megumi Takani, she hesitated in writing a note to the Morimoto's in Aizu. There was something so awkward about the way things had been left that she would understand why Megumi might not write and why she would want to have nothing further to do with the Aoiya. But, nothing would be wrong with writing to the Morimotos who Megumi had mentioned were caretakers of the clinic.

Few days later, the letter came back stating that they had word from Takani- sensei and that she had left Kyoto and stopped at a town to help with some cases of illness. The Morimotos thanked her for her concern and had kindly promised that Megumi would write a letter when she returned home.

After a whole week had passed and no letter came, Obaasan was not sure what to think.

Okina popped his head in while she was cooking in the kitchen. Since many Aoiyans were still somewhat weak in their recovery, she had picked up so many more household tasks. "Here," he handed her a letter, "From Aizu!"

"Megumi-san writes!" she expressed her relief. She opened it and eagerly scanned the contents. Slowly, her face changed.

"Okina-san," Obaasan handed him the letter. "What do you think?"

It has been a few days since we last heard from Takani-san, and she still has not returned. We have no idea how to track Takani-san down to give her your message, but it is not unlike her to get involved in a case and forget to write. However, Mrs. Morimoto is very concerned and asked if you might be able to help us track down our doctor. Megumi-san has mentioned from time to time that Shinomori-san and his friends are very resourceful people ---"

"I do not like it," Okina shook his head. "She was expected back and would not have caused these people additional worry if not for a good reason. I will send out some people to make inquiries along the main road. She may not even know that she is being looked for."

"Should I mention this to Aoshi-san?" Obaasan looked anxious. "He and Megumi-san did not end things well."

"She was still his responsibility," Okina frowned, "Even if he hates the sight of her now, it is his right to know."

Obaasan bowed, and then went to find Aoshi.

Obaasan stood outside the screen door of the room where she knew Aoshi was meditating. It was how he spent most of the free time he had - which was considerable since Okina refused to let Aoshi do anything until he felt Aoshi had completely recovered.

"I am sorry, Aoshi-san." She called to him politely, "I have a message that is important."

He opened the door to her. She noted that he looked better, but his expression these days was even grimmer than before.

She bowed to him, "Okina thought you should see this."

He took the offered letter carefully and quickly scanned it.

"It came in this morning's delivery." Obaasan answered quickly, almost apologetically. "I had written the Morimotos asking for news of Takani- sensei's return. His face was completely neutral. Obaasan continued nervously, "Okina-san has sent out scouts along the main road."

Aoshi considered this for a moment, then finally responded. "Ask also that a message be sent to the Kamiya dojo. It is unlikely she is there, but perhaps she had been in touch with them."

"Yes, Aoshi-san." Obaasan bowed again. "If I may also ask your permission to ride out with one of the men as well? I would like to ask around for myself .

"Your requests are not the sort that I can simply deny, Obaasan," he replied, "but no other men can be spared. They are needed here since we are short-staffed."

"Then," she paused, "I will go with one of the ladies."

"No," Something like resolve passed quickly across his face and then disappeared. "No need, I will go with you."