************************************************************************************** Neon Genesis Evangelion: Crimson Resurrection Written By Daryl (my Magnificent Octopus AKA Magnum Opus) lurgee@cyberway.com.sg http://zap.to/unspokenbonds Edited by: Irene Mar ************************************************************************************** Author's note: Uhhh...I know, I know! It's months in the making! That's cause my exams were on and secondly, I didn't really have any inspiration to write anything...BUT good news being, that I've worked out how the story is going to go. Believe it or not, I actually didn't know how the story was going to end and develop! *murmurmurmur* (whispered voices) And they let _this_ idiot write a fanfic??! I HEARD THAT!!! :-) But anyway, I hope you enjoy this...and have I mentioned this before? Rei RULES!!! Yep! I'm a Rei fan, and proud of it too! Yeah, so I've heard the stuff about the inbreeding and all that, but frankly I think it's crap, so...if you think it's weird, stop reading this NOW! Uh, wait...if you've read this far, you would have known that it's a Rei-Shinji fic by now... ^_^ And, uh, are most fanfic writers Asuka fans? Most of the fics I see usually involve Asuka and Shinji. Even Andrew Huang's fantastic Evanjellydonut isn't spared. OK, so that was a Rei-Shinji fic, but he's an Asuka fan at heart...uhm, no offence to Asuka fans, BTW. I'm just making a statement...just need to get it out of my system. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Neon Genesis Evangelion: Crimson Resurrection Chapter 4: Introspection +/+ Opening Theme Song: Radiohead: Nice Dream +/+ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shinji tried to tear himself away from her. "..." She stood there in silence and fixed her eyes upon his. "Uh, er, uhm..., I, erm....." "Yes?" Her voice cut through his reverie. "What I, uhm, want to say is..." He began to stutter and grew a sweatdrop. He began to blush. She began to grow slightly impatient. Rei blinked and waited. /// He has something to say to me, but what is holding him back? \\\ "wouldyouliketogooutwithmetomorrow?" Shinji prayed she didn't hear that. He narrowly averted disaster. Out of its own volition, his mouth engaged and spoke what was on his mind. He was stunned by the outburst and searched Rei's face for a reaction. There was none to be found. "What?" He breathed a huge sigh of relief. /// She didn't hear me... \\\ "Erh.....the synch tests, tomorrow....." "10 o'clock." "Good! I'll be seeing you then....." /// I'm feeling so confused.....is she feeling the same way? \\\ "Goodbye." /// Good? He looks forward to seeing me? \\\ "Bye..." He walked towards the door and wondered if she would call him again. She didn't. He turned around to see if she was still standing near the doorway. She wasn't. He reached the lift and pushed the button for the ground floor. "ARRRNNNGGHH!" He was angry, mainly with himself. /// I would like to get to know her more. But what if she says no? \\\ Doubts hovered about him. /// She let me walk her home... \\\ The lift's steady, smooth, downward motion soothed him somewhat. ******************* 402: Ayanami ******************* Rei sat on her bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. She wasn't sure. /// No one has ever offered to walk home with me. \\\ Her mind travelled back to the time when she self-destructed her EVA. She did it for the good of the world. Or was it for...? /// I am alone. \\\ Her face suddenly darkened. Then, the image of Shinji crying at the entrance of her entry plug came to her mind. /// He came to rescue me. He is the same as Commander Ikari. \\\ She recalled seeing him cry. He cried. For her? She was confused, and frustrated, because she didn't know how to react to a situation like this. "A simple smile would be enough...". And she was grateful, for she found the courage to react. "Shinji....." She mouthed the name of the Third Children. She got up and began unpacking her overnight bag. The piledrivers pounded away in the distance. ******************* Streets of Tokyo-3 ******************* Shinji was thinking. His hands thrust deep into his pockets and shoulders hunched forward. Why didn't he have the courage to tell her. It was as if some invisible force held him back. It wasn't a new experience to him. When he wanted to stand up to his father. He merely bit his tongue and carried out his orders. But when he nearly killed Touji. He felt a rage. He'd never felt that before until that day. As if the clenching and unclenching of his fists represented his indecision. He clenched his fists and the demon took over. It was like watching a movie unfold. His body fought with every ounce of strength it had. But where there should be pain where the Angel attacked him, there only radiated a dull ache. Not so much pain, but a longing. A longing for love, for acceptance. /// You crave acceptance. \\\ He knew, somehow it was wrong, but where was the harm in that? He wanted to feel loved. There was none from his father. The only love came from his mother, but she was dead; supposedly of some accident when they were testing Unit-01. When he was trapped in the Sea of Dirac, he felt his mother. Her presence in the entry plug, comforting him. And somehow, he saw her essence in Rei. The same soft gaze she used to lavish on him. He saw that same gaze in Rei. ///Ayanami. There is a feeling about her. Mother. \\\ But why couldn't he tell her? About his feelings? He could have told her. When he pulled open the entry plug's hatch. He remembered seeing the particle beam melt EVA-00's armor plating and he somehow felt a hollow sensation. The fear of losing someone. He felt it again when he helplessly watched her self destruct her EVA. He remembered his words to her when he pulled open the entry plug after Ramiel's particle beam nearly melted her EVA's armor to slag. "A simple smile would be enough......" He didn't really know why he asked her that. Could it be that he had never seen? her display emotions openly? She looked like angel, a real angel. Her light blue hair framing her face, and her alabaster skin, highlighting those beautiful red eyes. There was something about the smile. The innocent air which could take away his pain and his anguish. It calmed him. "Rei....." He moved his lips around her name. It sounded like a whisper on the wind. He said her name again, it had a light, airy quality to it. He could almost hear the wind whisper her name. It was so beautiful, just like her... Suddenly, he felt a stab of panic in his heart. /// What if I'm..... \\\ He quickly dismissed the thought from his mind. As if dispelling it would make it go away. Sometimes, it did. This time, it worked as well. He smiled and took in a deep breath of the Tokyo-3 air. He noticed it seemed much crisper and fresher than usual. He picked up his stride and headed back for the apartment. ******************* Misato's Apartment ******************* "I'm ho...mlk" His voice caught halfway up his throat when he saw Asuka standing in the living room. Her eyes were narrowed slits and her arms were folded. "Asuka muyo, huh? Do you know what I've been doing all day, Shinji-BAKA?" Asuka was speaking in her flat voice. She usually used that tone when she was very very very angry. "!!!" Shinji began to grow a sweatdrop and pictured a volcano erupting. Sure enough, about half a second later... "I WAS SITTING AT HOME ALL DAY WAITING FOR YOU!!!!! THERE'S NO TV 'CAUSE THE TV STATIONS ARE DOWN AND ALL I'VE GOT IS OLD DISCS THAT I'VE WATCHED A HUNDRED TIMES SO FAR!!!" She took a second to catch her breath and continued. "And how DARE you walk out on me like that at the hospital this morning? No one, no one walks out on Sohryu Asuka Langley!" He winced from the onslaught of Asuka's words. "Asuka... I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to walk out on you like that, it's just... "Sorry? Sorry? You spent the entire day with Wonder Girl, leaving me here bored to tears, and all you have to say is 'sorry?'??!" "But..." "Hmph. I'm going to sleep now. Go find your own dinner, BAKA!" She spun on her heel and stomped off towards her room. Before slamming the screen door, she leaned her head out. "BAKA!!!" Why does Asuka always want the last word? He sighed and walked towards the kitchen. He opened the fridge and was confronted with.....beer! Rows upon rows of beer cans sat on the racks. No wonder Misato always ate instant noodles and TV dinners...she wanted more room for her beer, he reasoned... He allowed himself a small shrug and reached for some instant noodles. Incredibly high in salt and possessing the nutritional value of a strip of cardboard...he silently thanked his teenage metabolism and the constant training which kept him in shape. While he sat in the living room waiting for his noodles to cook, his mind began to wander. /// I wonder...I wonder what she's doing now? \\\ He stretched himself out on the mat on the floor and promptly fell asleep. The noodles grew cold on the kitchen counter with only the sound of Shinji's soft breathing... Asuka's room door slid open and padded softly across the living room, nearly tripping over Shinji as she walked. /// The idiot's fallen asleep...probably worn out from visiting Wonder Girl \\\ Her gaze softened as she looked at his sleeping form. /// NO!!! What am I doing??! \\\ A few moments later, the sound of a flush and a click as her room door closed. ******************* 402: Ayanami ******************* Rei slept curled up on the bed, still in her school uniform. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically as she slept. ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ A circle of identical Reis surrounded her, all in school uniform. One of them spoke. "You are us. And we are you." The rest echoed the first until all that could be heard was the sentence, echoing around the domed cavern. The Rei in the centre opened her mouth to speak. The rest fell silent. "No. I am I. We are not the same. Your souls differ from mine." The rest paid no attention to this and continued. "Join us...Do you not wish to be one with Ikari-kun?" "Yes." "Then join us...you have nothing to lose." "No. I will not allow it to be done." The rest of the chamber melted away into the darkness, leaving her standing alone in the center. ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ Rei turned over in her sleep. ******************* Misato's Apartment ******************* Shinji muttered something under his breath. "Ayanami...father...mother...NO!" ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ Floating in the entry plug. He tasted...blood. The scene shifted to NERV headquaters. A younger version of himself stood before him. They looked out a picture window, to a prototype EVA-01. The younger him pointed to it. "Mother....." The younger Shinji spoke. "What? Why? What's the connection?" He reached out to touch the younger him. To his surprise, the image disappeared. "NO!!! Come back! Please! Somebody help me understand!!! Please... please..." He dropped to his knees and began to cry. "Mother, Father, Misato-san, Ayanami, Asuka! Anybody! Please!" He closed his eyes and tears flowed out. A brilliant shaft of white light surrounded his body and now, he was in his father's cavernous office. His double stood in the center of the office. He was like Shinji, except he was darker, more menacing. "USELESS! You couldn't even save the ones you love! USELESS!" He continued on while the original Shinji just kneeled on the floor, covering his ears. "No, no...please stop...I tried to help...no..." "You've failed! As a pilot, as a friend, and as a son!" "I don't know what to do! I tried to help, but father, he..." "Stop making excuses! Our father has no part in this!" "He tried to make me kill Touji! To hold back while Ayanami nearly died!" "But you could have fought it. You could have saved them!" "I...I couldn't...everybody...I've let them down..." "You're right about that! You're scum! You don't deserve to live!!!" "I...am useless...but all I want is...acceptance..." "No. You haven't failed." He lifted his head to see the source of the voice. It couldn't be... "Ayanami?" He kneeled in stunned silence while she continued speaking. "No matter what happens, you still have love. The love of others, and the love which you give to others." He barely had time to gasp as the entire office faded to white. The light consumed him and Rei. ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ He woke with a start, only to see the first light of dawn filtering through the curtains. He sat up took a few deep breaths and walked over to the balcony. He gazed at the sun rising over the skyscrapers of Tokyo-3. "It's...beautiful..." ******************* 402: Ayanami ******************* At the same time, some distance away, Rei woke up. Her red eyes opened slowly. She sat upright on her bed, the memory of her dream still fresh in her mind. She noticed the first rays of dawn coming in through the window, glinting off the beaker of water on her dresser. She recalled something. A hallway confrontation with Asuka. "You mean, you don't know what dreams are?" /// A...dream? \\\ She swung her legs over the side of the bed and walked slowly towards the balcony. She gazed out beyond the horizon. The piledrivers had not yet started their pounding. The sun rose over the buildings, casting long shadows over the construction site. "It's...beautiful..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To be continued... End of Chapter Four +/+ Closing Theme Song: Stone Temple Pilots: Interstate Love Song +/+ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------