From: sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net (James Grabowski) Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Neon Genesis Evangelion: Variations on a Theme - Volume 2 Cache-Post-Path: outpost1.mtl.accglobal.net!unknown@dial44.portalnet.com __________________________________________________________________________ NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: VARIATIONS ON A THEME - Volume 2 - Changing Faces / Subjective Reality Written By: James Grabowski & Geoff Upchurch Revision: 1.00 - Official Release Date: February 12, 1999 (Started: October 11, 1998) Time: 10:00:00 PM - EST / 9:00:00 PM - CST __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ LEGAL INFORMATION: All characters contained in this script are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or production of Neon Genesis Evangelion. A.D.Vision holds the copyrights to the translated version of Neon Genesis Evangelion. At this time, they are used WITHOUT the permission of the aforementioned institutions. This script is a production of the above mentioned authors, and may not be used in any way, shape, or form without prior permission of the authors. Distribution is subject to prior approval by the authors. Right now, distribution is strictly prohibited. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ CONTENT WARNING The following fiction contains content which some readers may view as offensive. This includes: + Offensive language + Gentle and overt darkness + Warm and fuzzy feelings (this is not a joke, insulin users beware) + Themes of a more intimate and/or sexual nature Neither author cares one iota about the reader's age; they are 16 and 18 years of age respectively at time of publication. All judgement is made In other words, reader discretion is advised, just as viewer discretion is with Evangelion in general. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ AUTHORS' NOTES: Four months and one day later, Volume 2 of "NGE: Variations on a Theme" has been released. Truly an amazing feat; rather unheard of, actually publishing something. Okay, time to make a few points. This is long. Very long. Longer than your DOS manual. Longer than your Windows manual. Longer than all your Microsoft manuals put together, even when you include the ones burning in your fireplace. And it has no pictures. Not yet anyway... Sincerely, this file is about 480K. In Microsoft Word, it apparently translates into 210 page using a Size 10, Courier New font. After reading numerous Eva fanfiction pieces, it can be safely said that this is the first one to crack the 400K barrier, which makes it the longest installment of any Eva fanfiction piece (multiple section or single publication) known to date. And it doesn't even cover one full day. We may have overdone it a bit. Okay, we made the point that it's long. Very long. We'll move on. Or we'll sing a song. The second point that we'd like to stress is that little warning up above "Authors' Notes". We're going to state this very clearly; Evangelion is a controversial series dealing with mature subject matter (sound like the bloody A.D.V. box). Point is, so is this series. Despite the humorous moments, there is a darker and more serious tone to it (some sections more than others), as well as content of a sexual nature at times, but _not_ in the sense of a Lemon or Lime. Due to the problem of being able to establish a middle-ground tag, this is the best that can be done. If you're getting this off the Eva ML or FFML (and possibly this may appear on the RAAC), you most likely saw the tag [DIS] in the subject header. This is the best we can do at this time: it means that there is material that may not be agreeable to all readers, and as such: "READER DISCRETION ADVISED". We only hope that this will be acceptable for the Eva ML and FFML, since this series isn't intended to be a Lemon or a Lime, and as such, do not want those tags placed on it (as will become apparent... in both cases). However, this series _is_ intended to make you think, make you laugh, make your stomach turn, make you... 'interested' , surprise the heck out of you, and let you study various facts of life, as well as the mysteries of the Evangelion world, and the very lives of the inhabitants themselves. Look forward to Volume 3 in the near future. And don't forget... It's long. James Grabowski & Geoff Upchurch - Over-worked co-authors of NGE:VoaT __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Neon Genesis Evangelion: Variations on a Theme - Volume 2 - Changing Faces / Subjective Reality Rei stood alone, adorned in her white plug suit. Before her loomed a full-body mirror, frame glowing a pale golden colour. Arms by her sides, she looked quietly back at herself. Her surroundings were nothing more than a dark, endless voice, the mirror being the only exception. "This is me." "Who are you?" the reflection spoke back to her in a quiet yet gentle tone. "I am me." "Why?" "I am what makes me. How can I not be what I am?" "Then, this is you. Or rather, this is what creates you. Your enclosure." "My mind." The reflection shook its head softly. "You." Shinji appeared next to the reflection, student uniform as his apparel. As lifelike as he seemed, he did not move, nor breathe, nor blink. He simply stood. "What is this to you?" "Shinji-chan. Someone I care about." The reflection transformed into Asuka, yellow dress in full splendor. The representation of Shinji disappeared as Asuka emerged. "Do you even know what that is?" "It... caring is something I feel..." "Pathetic. The doll thinks it can have feelings," Asuka stated sarcastically. The glass of the mirror shattered completely as Asuka smashed it with her fist. Multiple brilliant shards flew by Rei's body, others slowly crashing to the ground. The redheaded female stepped through the empty frame of the mirror, resting a short distance from the other. "I am not a doll." "A doll is all you are. You do what anybody tells you to do. You don't even think for yourself." "That is untrue." "Commander Ikari's little pet pilot, and now just some toy for Shinji. How does it feel to know you're just some object used for the satisfaction of one man, and the pleasure of another?" "Shinji doesn't use me." Asuka snorted. "Which is admitting that the other does." "They are who they are. I am who I am." Asuka nodded, a dark expression on her face. "Shinji's doll. His plaything for what he wants, bending and twisting to his every whim, doing whatever he wants for himself." "No. Shinji's other. With him, I'm not alone, and neither is he. We are able to give each other... happiness, living for each other." Asuka and the scenery faded away, leaving Rei standing in her own apartment next to her bed. A pair of arms closed around her waist as a head rested on her shoulder, both of which belonged to Shinji, dressed in plug suit. "You care for me?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because of who you are. Shinji Ikari." "Who am I?" Shinji's form changed into that of Rei once more, in plug suit attire, arms clasping the original to her. "That which is named Shinji is what you care for, because of name." "No. That which makes up Shinji is what I care for. For him." The form of Rei metamorphosed into that of a plug-suited Asuka. The new form released Rei, shooting her hands out at her, forcefully closing themselves on Rei's throat. She yanked her throat forcefully, bringing Rei toward her. "How can you feel anything! You never have before!" "I... want to know..." Rei managed calmly through choked gasps. "You're just a doll! You have no feelings!" "I... am not... a doll..." "Damn you!" Asuka screamed, letting her arms drop to her sides. Quickly she pulled one arm back, letting it fly, smacking Rei across the face with her outstretched hand. Rei felt an extreme pain course through her body, a small gasp escaping her as her eyes fell closed, twitching lightly. "Why..." "Shut up!" Asuka slapped her again, and once more the pain went through. "Why...?" "Shut up!" Asuka yelled at Rei. "Pathetic little doll!" Asuka slapped Rei across the face again, sending her stumbling back a step against a wall. Rei rested against it, her body trembling lightly, arms flat against the wall, eyes closed in pain. "I hate you!" Once more Asuka let loose on Rei. A small cry escaped her. Asuka roughly grabbed Rei by the shoulders and threw her to the bed, straddling herself over her hips, pinning her shoulders to the bed. "How does it feel to be close to someone?! This is closeness! Does it feel good?! Do you like it?!" "This is not closeness... this is..." "You don't even know what you want!" Asuka slapped the suffering girl in her grip, a small cry, a whimper escaping her lips. "A doll! Nothing to think about!" Rei opened her eyes and looked at Asuka. "I want Shin-chan." Asuka slapped Rei once more, gaining another whimper from her. "Why does this hurt?" she said softly, barely a whisper. A form of Rei appeared by the bed, looking down at the first. "This is the sorrow which is your soul. This is how you perceive your pain." Asuka slapped her again, another whimper escaping Rei's lips. "You see the pain which you have." Slap. Whimper. "This is what you feel." Slap. Whimper. "What do you want?" Slap. "I want... Shin-chan." The two forms disappeared. Slowly, tears began to fall from Rei's eyes. "I am crying..." She sat up. "This is the loneliness which I feel. I can't..." The tears continued to fall from her face. "This is the pain I have. Shin-chan... where are you?" She fell back to her bed, tears falling from her face landing on her bed and plug suit. "For the first time, I feel this pain. It is... unbearable. I... need you." She looked at the walls which seemed to sharpen with intensity, her closed world seeming to close in further. She put a hand to her cheek and rubbed it softly, the pure skin reddened with Asuka's sting. "Cold." The tears continued to flow from her eyes. "Shinji... Shinji... it hurts..." =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Volume 2 Changing Faces / Subjective Reality =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D It was a rather interesting dream, all things considered. For the longest time, he had been running from something utterly unseen and unknown. Regardless, he continued to run until something new intruded on the dream. At first it was nothing but a soft murmur, like wind softly playing amongst leaves. Soon, however, the sound began to take the shape of a soft voice whispering into the night of his dream. "Shinji..." it called softly. "Shinji... it hurts." Thoroughly confused, the dream vision of Shinji slowed its pace. "Shinji, don't leave me... Shin-chan." Finally convinced that this was out of place for this particular dream state which it had intruded on, Shinji came to a full stop. As soon as he had done so, the dream dissolved, and Shinji awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in the bed with a cold sweat covering his body. Still, not everything registered. For some reason, he could still hear the voice calling to him, even though he knew that he _should_ have been awake. His rudely-awakened mind refused to function properly as his eyes gained some focus in the dark room. ------------------------------------ AUGUST 2, 2016 - 4:12 AM ------------------------------------ "Shin-chan..." the voice called softly. 'That's it, then... I'm going insane...' "Shinji... don't leave me," the voice continued softly. The higher-level synapses finally started firing properly, and Shinji came to several realizations. First, that he was terribly cold. Second, that he was not going insane. Third, that there was someone else in his bed. Fourth, that the someone else was Rei. And concurrently came the Fifth, that the voice was hers. "Oh, Rei-chan..." he said quietly, extracting himself from the bed. "Get your rest. You'll be better for it." He slipped to the floor, careful not to make any more noise than necessary as he left the room. Out in the hall, he practically fell over Misato. "Oh, good morning, Misato-san," Shinji said quietly. "What are you doing up at this hour, Shinji-kun?" the Major asked sleepily. "Nothing, really. Rei woke me up," he answered. "It wasn't you that woke me up then. Must've been Asuka." "Is there something wrong with her?" Shinji asked. "I... don't think she'll be doing too well for the next few days," Misato replied. "It's about me and Rei, isn't it?" Shinji said. "You could put it like that. She's not going to be too happy with you, Shinji-kun. I'd stay clear of her if I were you," Misato suggested. 'I think I'd stay out of her way too, if I had the choice.' "Why does it bother her _so_much_, Misato-san?" "She's... had her eye on you, Shin-chan. And you know how Asuka can get when she thinks someone has beaten her..." "That's what I thought too," Shinji asserted, somewhat sleepily. "It might not be so bad if Rei weren't practically her complete opposite," Misato said. "Or then again, maybe it would just make things worse." "No one can be anything but what they are, Misato-san. She'll just have to learn to accept that. If she can't, it will only hurt her worse," the Third Children asserted. "You don't have any idea what she's been through, do you, Shinji?" Misato asked, more sharply than she had intended. "No, I don't," Shinji agreed. "Do you remember how you lost your mother?" "She died... it was an accident with Unit One," Shinji replied. "It... took her..." "Asuka's loss was a little more dramatic. She was coming to visit her mother in the hospital... she was there for some kind of mental instability... Asuka had just been accepted as pilot for Evangelion Unit Two, which was just in the stages of planning... for the most part. At least, we thought it was. Like I said, she was going to visit her mother... she opened the door to the hospital room. Her mother... hung herself... dead before her daughter's very eyes. _That_ is what makes Asuka Langley Soryuu. _That_ is who she is." "I never even knew..." Shinji replied, startled. "So now you know... now you understand. No one here has had it easy, Shinji. We've all been messed up by life, personally screwed over together to battle against God Himself," Misato growled. "Anyone who says that life is fair is obviously delusional. It isn't fair. It isn't supposed to be fair." "...You better go back to bed. You'll need your rest," Misato replied. The two parted ways, Misato returning to her room, Shinji to his own. He silently opened the door, stepped through the threshold, and slid it shut just as quietly, despite its state of damage. Rei was still in the same position she had been in when he left, stretched out the length of the bed, eyes closed, though looking as if they would open at any moment. Shinji slowly picked his way back to the bed and slipped in next to Rei. He brushed a few of her hairs away from her eyes where they had strayed, then encircled the sleeping girl with one arm, returning his head to rest next to hers. Thus arranged, Shinji Ikari returned to sleep. ------------------------------------ Rei found herself standing in front of her bed, suited in plug suit, facing another figure. Gendou Ikari stood before her, arms by his sides. His glasses shone with an intense light, despite the darkness of the room. "This is your pain," he said to her in a serious tone. "Mine. That which is what I feel, that I have," she replied quietly. "What is pain to you?" "I have never felt this pain. Or a will, an understanding to express it." "Do you understand your pain?" "I did not know it, and yet, it is what makes me. The part of myself that I don't know, yet I do." "And so, despite your wishes, this is you, Rei." The representation of Gendou turned around and disappeared, fading into nothingness. Rei bowed her head toward the ground, eyes open, yet seemingly vacant. "My pain is that of sorrow, sadness. This is..." The words left her mouth as she remained with vacant expression, seemingly lost. Yet only for a few moments. A look of presence returned to her visage. "This is because I'm alone." The mirror which hung upon the wall cracked, the lines seeping through its entirety. "I understand it. I don't want it." Cracks slowly began to spread through the wall, the edges giving off a glass-like appearance. "I don't have to have it." The cracks continued to spread through the room's structure. "There are others." The entire room filled with cracks of varying shapes and sizes, a few small shards of glass dislodging from the ceiling. "I don't want to be alone," she declared softly, smiling, looking up from the floor and straight ahead of her. "To become bonded to others, to exist with them, is what I want." Her surroundings shattered around her, thousands of shards of glass flying into the air, rainbow hues and lights interchanging between them. As the glass had shattered, all had been replaced by a large field of grass and trees, overlooking the city of Tokyo-3. A large blue sky filled with white clouds loomed overhead. Rei stood in her school uniform, looking down at the city. She turned from the view and stopped as she saw herself, back against a tree, yawning. Shinji sat next to her, looking at the sky quietly. Asuka lay down in front of the two of them, eyes fixed on the sky. The three were adorned in school uniform, all looking particularly relaxed. As the moments passed, it became apparent that a small conversation was being exchanged between the three. Rei blushed lightly as she watched herself smile, Asuka beginning to laugh loudly, a pale expression on Shinji's face. "These are my thoughts... my reality. True reality... this may be what I would want." She stopped herself, then looked again. "This is what I want." In the waking world, a sleeping Rei unconsciously turned toward Shinji and placed her arms around him. The two were no longer as cold as they had been. Rather, a feeling of warmth was shared as the two slumbered pleasantly, along side one another, in silence, and contentment. ------------------------------------ She opened her eyes. Encompassing her were the arms of Shinji Ikari, who remained in quiet slumber. Hers also surrounded his sleeping body. 'A... dream? Did I... dream?' He murmured softly. She could feel her own breath against his face, his on hers. 'He is warm.' She stroked his back softly. 'Sleep. I was... comfortable. Being with him gives me comfort... I want this comfort... and I want him to have it.' She smiled softly. 'A smile. Why do I smile? It brings comfort. It brings joy. It brings satisfaction. I want to smile.' She tightened her grip on him for a moment, and then relaxed it as before. 'Warmth. I feel warmth... his warmth... my own... it is comfortable... pleasing... right. He is... much to me...' Another small murmur left Shinji's lips. His eyes opened slowly, moments passing as his gaze fixed on Rei's. "Good morning, Shin-chan," Rei whispered to him quietly, her soft smiling visage filling Shinji's view. "Good morning, Rei-chan," he replied, a little sleepily. "It's nice to see you, the first thing in the day." "Did you sleep well?" she asked. "I slept very well... I don't think it has ever been better, in a long time." "Good." "How did you sleep?" "Comfortably, warmly... not alone," Rei replied. Shinji smiled. Rei slipped her arm out from under Shinji's side and sat up, revealing her entire self for Shinji to take in. She raised her arms above her head and stretched, arching her back slightly as a small sigh escaped her. Her gaze fell to Shinji, who was blushing deeply. "What troubles you?" she asked. "I... err... nothing really..." he managed to get out. "Are you embarrassed?" "That is... err... not... exactly it..." Rei leaned over him and placed a hand on each side of his neck. 'Okay, she has complete control here. I give up.' She brought her head closer to his until they were nose to nose. "There is nothing to fear." Shinji nodded nervously. "It's time to get up." With that, Rei slipped over Shinji and sat on the edge of the bed. 'Was I better off in bed...?' Regardless, Shinji Ikari slowly rose out of bed, dragging the covers with him. Between the fact that said covers were still tucked beneath Rei's legs and the fact that he was not really awake, Shinji quickly found himself tumbling to the ground in a tangle of arms, legs, and blanket. 'Yep... I should've stayed in bed all right...' "Was that purposeful, Shin-chan?" Rei asked him. 'Then again...' "No." "Are you sure?" "No." Shinji managed to disentangle himself from the heap on the floor and wrap Rei up in the blanket, seemingly in one motion. The two stood side by side for a few moments, neither one seeming to want to make the first move. 'I hope Misato remembered to make something without meat for Rei,' Shinji thought as he stood in the brief silence. 'He seems... troubled. Why?' "I do not see my uniform," Rei stated. "I think... I know where it is..." He stretched out an arm and pointed to the large pile of debris. "It will need to be cleaned," she stated. "Well, you'll need something to wear, unless you would like to relive last night's excursion with the others." "Perhaps it would be best to find something." Shinji walked over to the lab coat resting on the floor. He looked at it for a moment, remembering Ritsuko walking into the room drunk the night before. He quickly dropped it on the ground and began to search through his dresser for some clothing for Rei. He came up with one of his white dress shirts and a short pair of dark blue shorts and offered them to her. "Thank you Shin-chan," she said as she accepted the clothing and began to dress. "You're welcome Rei-chan," he replied as he began to root through the drawer for some new clothes for himself. Drawing out an indigo T- shirt and a pair of black shorts, he quickly disrobed from the clothes he had slept in and changed into the new discoveries. As he turned around, Rei caught his eye, now dressed in the shorts and the white shirt done up to about three-quarters of the height of her bosom. 'Well, it's still more than what Misato wears. At least the others won't mind her as much now. Of course, I guess there's not much to imagine in my case.' He coughed nervously. 'I just realized I... just undressed in front of her. How come neither of us reacted?' "Are you all right?" "Hmmm? Oh, yes, I was just thinking." Rei walked over to him. "Where do we go?" There was a fierce rapping at Shinji's door, or rather, the remains which still acted as a door. "Shinji, get out here right now! I know you're up!" He knew _that_ voice right off. Trouble incarnate. Shinji vaguely recalled his midnight conversation with Misato about the fact that Asuka would probably be more irate than usual. In the interest of not provoking that wrath before it was necessary, Shinji quickly decided it was best to just do as she said and live with it, for the moment. "That would be the answer..." Shinji walked over to the door, followed by Rei, and attempted to slide it open. No luck. It was not as mobile as it had been during the night. A moment later, Rei walked beside him and took a grip on the door. About half a minute later, the two managed to get the door to slide open. Asuka looked back at the two, a blank expression on her face. Dressed only in a scarlet red robe which fell to the ground and slippers, she looked less intimidating than usual. "Good... morning... Asuka..." Shinji ventured, in a voice filled with joy, sadness, and the slightest hint of apprehension. Rei said nothing. Asuka looked up at him, a mixture of sadness and anger, brimming fire in her deep blue eyes. Yet there was more than just blue in them. The whites were filled with traces of red, more than what is found in a person who has just woken. "Hello," she replied in a tone of sullenness and contempt. "How are you and your little doll today? Did you sleep well, or at all?" Shinji looked at her. Indecision filled him as whether to be angered or saddened at what she was saying. Her eyes narrowed slightly, yet her tone remained as before. "You can answer me whenever you want to, if you want to. Right now, we are about to have breakfast downstairs. Misato cooked, so expect the worst. We can't start until you and your doll come down." With that, Asuka turned around and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. 'If looks could kill, we'd never have to worry about another Angel,' Shinji thought. 'All we'd have to do is remind Asuka about me and Rei and turn her loose.' "She was crying," Rei stated quietly. Shinji nodded silently. 'She was crying.' "We should go." Holding on to Shinji's hand, Rei followed him down the same hallway to the recesses of the household kitchen. The table was already crowded, with Misato and Ritsuko down at one end, Pen-Pen off to one side with his morning bowl of steamed fish. The other three places were set for the three pilots, spread around the table. Bowls of something small, granular, and white were set before each of the places laid out. 'Could it be... rice? Real, honest-to-God rice?' Shinji blinked momentarily as he gazed at the plates, stock-still. Shinji and Asuka eyed it speculatively for a few moments, before Asuka finally sat down and dug in. Shinji, in an interesting show of chivalry, waited for Rei to move to her seat and helped her therein before seating himself. Asuka glanced at them and then returned to eating her breakfast. The other two Children slowly began their meal. Suddenly, something incredibly spicy and hot kicked in with the rice. Shocked, Asuka slipped quickly out of her chair and headed for a glass of water. At the same time, Shinji bolted for the kitchen sink and turned it on full blast, trying in vain to wash the taste out of his mouth. Even Rei headed for water, though more calmly than the other two Children. Meanwhile, Ritsuko, who was far too hung over to even notice the amazingly spicy rice, sat there in a headache-filled stupor. "So, how is it?" Misato asked, taking a tentative look at the rice before rising to fetch a glass of water for herself. "Misato... You used _curry_powder_! ...In STEAMED RICE!!!" Shinji cried. "I thought it would taste good... curry always tastes good..." Misato replied, evoking hand-sized sweatdrops from the foreheads of Shinji, Ritsuko, and Asuka. In the same instant, Pen-Pen bolted for the water bottle in his freezer. `Just when I thought she was getting the hang of it...' "Kaji?" Ritsuko asked, squinting at Shinji. "That isn't Kaji," Misato answered her. "It isn't?" "No." Ritsuko squinted further, trying to bring the image into focus. "Shinji!" "Err... good morning, Ritsuko," Shinji said, the beginnings of a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Could you please... take your hand off of my leg?" "You and I need to have a talk, young man," she said. `Apparently, a good clean reality shock clears the head nicely,' Shinji thought. "Anyway," Ritsuko said, continuing. "As much as I am scientifically curious as to just _what_ a pregnancy could or would do to synch ratios, and synchronization at all..." Ritsuko shook her head slowly. "Ummm... what was I saying?" 'PREGNANCY?!' Shinji and Asuka mentally shouted in shocked unison. Rei was unaffected as she slowly ate Misato's cooking. "Uh... you were just saying that Shinji looks a bit like Kaji, that's all," Misato said softly. "Kaji looks like... Shlinji?! Misato... have you had any..." She made a slurping sound with her lips. "...liquor?" Misato shook her head in dismay. `Just what cabinet did she raid?' Shinji, meanwhile, glanced nervously at Asuka, then at Rei. The latter was staring off in peaceful oblivion to the scene surrounding her. "What time is it?" Asuka asked Misato, almost brightly. "Oh, it's still early. Maybe an hour and a bit before school," Misato replied, eliciting a groan from Asuka. "Ummm... Rei's uniform... can't be worn to school today," Shinji said, somewhat distracted and uncomfortably. "And _why_ is that?" Asuka demanded. "You wouldn't... happen to have an extra, would you?" Misato asked Asuka, looking worried. Asuka glared, then replied in a dark voice, "Oh, I'm sure I can find some clothes for a doll." Then she added, in a tone more annoyed than dangerous. "And no, I would _not_. God only knows what they got on _hers_..." she said, growling softly before continuing. "And even then, no, because idiot Shinji _still_ hasn't done the wash." "What are you saying, Asuka?" Shinji asked, somewhat miffed. "I'll wash `em mythelf..." Ritsuko put in. "Uh... Ritsuko? Are you sure you want to..." "Yeah, thure, Mithato. I... uh..." It was then that she chose a very poor time to exhibit the effects of alcohol poisoning. Stopping in mid-sentence, Ritsuko promptly returned the contents of her breakfast to rest on the table. "Oh, this is SICK!!!" Asuka screamed. Shinji, noting the mess, rolled his eyes skyward, quite intent on keeping them there. Rei looked at the table and quickly backed away as far as her chair would allow to keep from passing out due to the odour. "_That_ cabinet," Misato said, twitching. "What a great way to start the morning." Upon hearing Misato, Shinji's eyes twitched, and his sweatdrops multiplied tenfold. "Something special that you save for after Angel attacks, Misato?" Asuka asked disdainfully. "I don't think I've touched _that_ stuff in years," Misato replied. `Apparently neither has Ritsuko...' Shinji thought. "Shouldn't we... ummm... help her?" "I guess she won't be washing clothes," Asuka muttered. "No, she won't," Rei agreed. "I wasn't talking to you," Asuka stated, eliciting silence from Rei. Shinji eyed the two girls, alternating between annoyance and sadness. "I feel... not so good..." Ritsuko moaned. "Typical," Asuka said. "Come on, Ritsuko," Misato said, sighing and putting an arm around her friend's shoulder. "You'd better lie down for a while..." "I... think I better..." she replied, her now-empty stomach growling and rolling. Misato and Ritsuko left the room, Misato's arm still around Ritsuko's shoulder. The doctor staggered along, seeming to take all of her strength and concentration just to stand and walk forward. Asuka looked darkly at the other two Children and offered a soft growl. "I guess you're sad that you can't play dress-up with your manikin? Or perhaps I mean dress-down." Asuka laughed sharply. "Asuka..." Shinji began quietly. Rei glanced at Asuka, then at Shinji. Asuka, eyes all at Shinji, responded with a flat, "What?" "Can't you just... let it pass?" the boy asked. As a response, Asuka simply snorted violently. "Why do you have to be angry?" Rei asked. "Rei, there's..." Shinji began, leaving both Asuka and Rei hanging on the continuation of his speech. "I'll... say it later..." `I hope there _is_ a later...' "Why do I have to get angry?" Asuka asked with a laugh. "Because it's _you_, Wonder Girl! And what is it that your little doll can hear that I can't, Shinji-sama?" "It's nothing..." Shinji replied, noting the heavy sarcasm in Asuka's voice. "I'm... Rei," Rei said coolly. "Yes, yes, I know. Hello, _doll_," Asuka replied, disdain heavily lacing her voice. "If it were _nothing_, great and _powerful_ Shinji, you wouldn't worry about saying it in front of _me_." "Listen to _me_," Rei said, staring at Asuka. "Why bother? You'll just repeat anything you're told... anything you're ordered." "I am Rei Ayanami. I am not `doll', or `Wonder Girl', or `Honor Student'. A name is only an identifier, which means nothing... but that is who I am. And... I will not do _everything_ I am ordered." "Would you like for me to apologize to your dolly, Shin-chan?" Asuka laughed darkly. Rei walked up to Asuka until she stood directly in front of her, eyes narrowed, glaring into Asuka's own. Shinji was clenching and unclenching his hand, almost involuntarily. "You imitate well, little doll, but we both know that dolls don't have feelings. Now sit--back--down." In response, Rei raised her hand and slapped Asuka across the face in a style reminiscent of the slap she had given Shinji so long ago when he said he did not trust his father. "...Rei?" "Damn you!" Asuka cried, shoving Rei into the table, then running out the door, forgetting her school case, and still dressed in her red robe. As Rei stood away from the table, Shinji walked to her uncertainly. "Why... did you hit her, Rei?" "I was... angry." Shinji simply stared at her incredulously, thinking, `Angry?' "I did not like doll... or Shin-chan..." Rei said. "She caused me to feel anger." `Intriguing...' "Are you..." "Fine, Shin-chan. I'm fine." "You..." he began, thinking, `She stood up for herself.' "It's all right," Rei said, setting a finger to Shinji's lips. Shinji blinked. "But what about... Asuka? She's..." "...hard..." "It is hard to accept it all... especially for her." "There... is more?" Rei asked. Misato chose that moment to wander in, thinking to herself. `Have to install a new lock on my cabinet...' Then she saw the shifted table, and the lack of Asuka. "Hey, what happened? Where's Asuka?" "You couldn't hear the yelling?" "Asuka... left." "Left? She went to school all ready? She dressed _fast_..." Misato said. "Errr..." Shinji murmured. "She didn't..." "...Put on her uniform," Rei finished for him. "And what happened to my table?" Misato asked suspiciously. "...I fell into it," Rei admitted. Misato stood, a vacant stare in her eyes. She looked for all the world like she was ready to believe anything, including an N^2 mine detonation. `Maybe she'll believe an N^2 mine detonation?' Shinji thought. "Falling into a table does _not_ move it a clear metre!" Misato announced, twitching. "There are two possibilities that I see. I'll be honest. Neither of them appeal to me... at this time in the morning." `Or at all.' "Those being?" Shinji asked. "Well, either there was a struggle, or the two of you were... erm..." She coughed. "Trust me, when you're around the battlefield and the... home... you get to know these things." "It wasn't the latter," Shinji said. `As much as I might have enjoyed it if it were...' "Agreed." Rei nodded, thinking, `Although I would've enjoyed it..." "Okay, it makes sense," Misato stated. "Was she still in her robe?" "Yes," Shinji responded. "In that case, she should be coming back right about... now." As soon as the words left her mouth, Asuka ran in the front door, eyed the gathering in the kitchen, turned up her nose, and charged off to her room, the robe trailing behind her. "How... did you know that?" Rei asked. Misato smiled. "Woman's intuition," she said with a glance at the two. "And I think we'll skip over the struggle bit. I _really_ _don't_ want to know..." "Good," Rei said, almost harshly. In response, Misato raised an eyebrow inquiringly while Shinji sweatdropped. "What?" Rei asked, puzzled. "Nothing," Misato replied innocently. "Well, breakfast's over... or in Ritsuko's case, all over." She sighed. "You two should get dressed for school... That may be a bit harder for you, Rei." "It appears... I will be holding buckets today." "We'll see what kind of condition that uniform is in..." Shinji said with a half-chuckle which brought a smile to Misato's lips. "Cute," Misato said, watching the two walk out of the room together. Then she turned her attention to the kitchen. "Ritsuko, you are going to _pay_ for this today at work... even though you won't be there." The darkly-smiling Major slowly wandered off to her own room. ------------------------------------ In Misato's room, Ritsuko Akagi lay on the bed, face all but turning green. Her eyes rolled up in their sockets, and her stomach visibly pained her. "I feel scared..." she said as she lay there. A few moments later, Pen-Pen hopped up on the bed. Barely looking, she responded, "Hello Kaji...", which caused Pen-Pen to rush quickly from the room. "Rit-suko?" Misato asked tentatively, peeking her head into the room. "Yes?" Ritsuko asked dully. "You feeling okay?" "Not really..." the doctor admitted. "I expected as much. You should probably stay here today," Misato replied. "Okay..." Ritsuko said, feeling too sick to realize the impact of that. "And I need to get going. Everyone else is gone... so... well, Pen-Pen won't answer if you ask for anything, so... aw, geez... call headquarters if you need anything." "Okay." "Anything you can think of that you need before I go?" Misato asked, dressing herself. "Aside from a miracle cure for alcohol poisoning, that is..." "Just what time are you getting back at... If I feel well enough, I'll cook..." "Don't worry about it. Shinji should be able to manage it." "And he gets home when?" Ritsuko asked. "Whenever he gets home, I guess..." ------------------------------------ Rei walked silently down one of Tokyo-3's many streets, accompanied by Shinji. She remained clothed in the garb that Shinji had provided her earlier, clothing which by most standards would have been rated somewhat indecent due to its revealing nature. Asuka would have scoffed at that. Misato would have died of laughter. Her own clothing was held in her arms, wrapped up in a tight ball. Beside her, Shinji held his case in both hands, already dressed in school uniform. "Didn't think they survived..." Shinji commented, regarding the ball of clothing in Rei's arms. "But... why are we going to your apartment then?" "My case, and... personals," she answered quietly. "It's... calming... walking with you," Shinji mentioned, somewhat bashfully. "It's... nice, to hear that..." Rei replied, smiling slightly. "You find you're relaxed when you are near me? Shinji nodded. Rei linked her free left arm around his right, taking hold of his hand and laying her head upon his shoulder as they walked. "Good," she stated softly. 'Calm and peaceful... this can't last forever,' Shinji thought to himself, somewhat regretfully. 'We have to go to school some time...' "Or do we?" "Hmmm?" Rei looked up at him, hearing his thoughts spoken aloud. "Huh... what? Oh, nothing..." A slight blush set off across his face. "Are you okay, Shin-chan?" "Yes... I was just thinking..." "About what?" she inquired gently. '...Me?' "A lot. Last night... this morning... you." Rei blushed softly, causing a chain reaction which affected Shinji's complexion in the same. "We're here Shin-chan," she stated, pointing to the building which she inhabited. "MmmHmm, we are, aren't we?" 'Shin-chan seems... preoccupied.' She lead him toward the building entrance. "...It's too bad..." "Too bad... that it's over? It _was_ nice, though." "Nothing is over Shin-chan..." "Well, we're out of road..." He grinned. "That doesn't mean we're out of stairs!" he affirmed, chuckling quietly. "Shin-chan, may I ask... something of you?" she inquired as they walked through the building's grim interior, her apartment the final destination. "Certainly, Rei-chan." "...Do you want to stay with me?" "Do I..." He gulped. "...Want to... uh... stay with you? Erm... that is..." He continued to stutter aimlessly. Rei chuckled faintly. "Don't we... ummm... have... that is, ah... school?" Rei smiled in his direction; a small, soft smile. "Yes, we do. Unless, you don't want to go... but that wasn't what I meant." "Then... what did you... mean?" "Do you want to stay with me? Talk to, be near, stay close to... me?" "...I... that is..." He trailed off his sentence. 'Misato would _never_ approve of this...' "Shinji-chan... are those things that you want?" Shinji nodded silently. 'I'm _never_ gonna hear the end of this...' "Then, today, would you like to stay with me?" The two had arrived in front of Rei's apartment. She reached forward, turning the handle and pushing open the door to apartment 402. She regarded Shinji quietly while standing in front of the open portal. Shinji stood stock-still in his tracks. His stuttering had no end as a nervousness overtook him. "Erm... but school... I... that is... we can't, urrr..." "If you want to Shin-chan..." she replied, reaching forward after a moment and running her hand along his cheek, "but that wasn't what I meant." "Rei-chan... I can't understand your mind without it being spoken... What do you mean?" Rei pulled him quietly into the apartment, closing the door behind her. They removed their shoes, Shinji being led down her hallway but a moment later. "What I mean Shin-chan," she continued quietly, "is will you stay with me today? At school, and after... would you like to be near me?" Shinji nodded, a half-smile having crept upon his face. "Oh, yeah... I knew that!" He laughed, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. 'I did... really I did...' The two walked into the room which served as Rei's place of bedding. It remained as it had the day before; shades drawn closed; overhead lights unlit, yet a fair amount of lighting remained in the darkened room; bed sheets somewhat shabbily thrown over the bed mattress with pillows on top, a close imitation of a bed that had been 'made'. Upon a small tray near one wall of the room, a small beaker filled with water shone brightly, despite the level of lighting. Unlike the last time Shinji had been present, the floor was fairly clean, an absence of papers upon the floor. Rei quietly set her clothes atop her bed, walking softly to her wooden dresser, opening the top drawer in search of personal items. "So, will you stay with me today? At school, and..." "...After," Shinji finished. Rei found the articles of clothing which she had sought, setting them down upon the bed, catching a slight glance from Shinji's eye as she began to unbutton the white shirt that Shinji had provided her with. "Yes." "I will." Rei quietly slipped the shirt from her shoulders, letting it fall here afterward?" "I guess..." Shinji blushed softly at Rei's state of dress, which had approached virtually nil, the shorts being the only thing left upon her skin. "Is something wrong, Shin-chan?" she asked quietly. "No... nothing..." He continued to blush. 'I hope...' The shorts fell upon the floor at her feet but a moment later. "You don't have to fear me..." she stated, somewhat confused at Shinji's current state. "Or is it that you... like, what you see?" Shinji blinked and quickly turned his head away, attempting to show some decency. When he realized that she wasn't moving, he slowly turned his head in her direction again, blushing the while. "It's... ummm... pleasing," he confessed, feeling his cheeks continuing to burn fiercely as he gazed upon her body. Rei blushed softly, walking forward and hugging him gently. "Do you want to know this?" she asked him softly. "Ack!" Shinji was surprised, to say the least, by Rei's sudden movement against him. He watched her face as she gazed at him intently, making an excellent effort in keeping his eyes from wandering to other areas which made him nervous. "Rei-chan! We... that is..." After a moment of stuttering, he fell silent, shaking his head, a soft smile appearing on his face. "Oh, what the heck..." Rei smiled softly at him. "Good." She moved her head forward, kissing him very lightly on the lips, as if trying to understand her action, and then slowly released him, turning around and returning to her bed. Her eyes rested on the bed as she took the white panties which she had set upon it in her hands, placing a leg through each side as she slipped them on, adjusting them at her waist line. Shinji's efforts to look away resulted in futility as he watched her, somewhat nervously, somewhat anxiously. 'And if only to think that a year ago I was trying to deliver her ID card...' 'And once, he was afraid of this...' Rei thought to herself as she adjusted her bra. "It feels different now?" Shinji watched her for a moment, then after a moment of contemplation walked quietly up behind her, locking his arms softly around her waist. "...Yes. _It_ is different now." Rei placed her hands on his hips, holding them softly. "Yes. It's... nice." She turned around in his soft grasp to face him. "Shin-chan... we can stay here... or wait until later." She gazed at him for a moment, then leaned her head forward, kissing him gently on the lips. 'He's forgetting... it's... interesting...' Shinji quietly returned the kiss, at a lack of alternate solutions. "I'll learn how to balance a few extra buckets for this..." He grinned, but it soon fell into a smile. "School can wait." Rei kissed him again. "Shin-chan... this is nice... but you know we have to go." Her tone dropped, becoming extremely soft. "I wouldn't want to tire you." Her lips seemed to form a miniscule grin as his eyes widened. "We do... but no one would notice a few minutes..." he offered. 'Sensei would just go on about Second Impact like nothing was wrong.' "And Asuka?" Rei asked, a slight smile upon her lips. "Couldn't get any more mad if you stepped on her foot." "I'm sorry Shin-chan, but I like it when you're alive." She tapped his back gently. "Aside... I would rather spend more than a few minutes with you." She pressed softly into him once more as she kissed him lightly, longer than before. After a lengthened moment which neither had really been expecting to occur, she released her arms from him, letting them rest at her sides. "...Oh, Rei-chan..." His arms still rested around her waist. "Do we... have to?" "Yes," she answered softly, her voice bordering on reluctance. "Very well then..." He kissed her lightly, releasing her from his hold. "We should probably be hurrying along, then. No sense in holding buckets over nothing." Shinji's hands 'somehow' appeared on Rei's thighs, _under_ Rei's hands. "...Is this nothing?" Her quiet voice hinted of sarcasm. "No, no, no... not like that!" he replied smiling, blushing when she hadn't released his hands. "I meant that we shouldn't be late if we can help it, since we don't intend to be." Rei still hadn't released his hands, and seeing as she had taken a step away from him, he was now able to see those hands, along with everything else above and below. '...Kaji _never_ had it this good... I'm enjoying this.' He blinked at the revelation, still fighting to pull his eyes away out of a need to show some decency, apparently a wasteful effort in the view of both sides. She finally drew his hands away, holding them before the two, giving them a gentle squeeze before turning around. Once more she walked to her bed, slipping on her white school shirt, beginning to button it up. "One day we can put aside... just for the two of us, for anything we want. Does that sound good?" Her own thoughts brewed quietly. 'Katsuragi-san... I think I may be, happier, then she could be with Kaji-san... Why... is it I?' "I'd... like that." He smiled. "Might I help?" He then realized what he said and turned red, nearly smacking himself for making the comment. 'I'm not like Kensuke.' Rei finished buttoning up her shirt, still faced away from Shinji. "Perhaps." She slipped her bow through the collar of the shirt, tying it in a fluid motion. She took her skirt from the bed and stepped into it, holding it up around her waist. "Would you help me with this?" She smiled slightly, indicating the buttons on the side of the dress near her waist. Shinji gulped and nodded, walking back to Rei. His hands fumbled somewhat nervously with the buttons as Rei readjusted her shirt to slip the straps of the dress over her shoulders. "Are you done, Shin-chan?" Shinji finally managed to get the buttons into place. "Yes." "Good." She quietly sat down upon her bed, holding out to him a dark pair of socks. "I require assistance with something else." "Mmmhmm?" He took the socks from her hand, sighing slightly as Rei extended one of her feet. 'How... does she remain so calm?' He struggled with the sock, encountering difficulty with placing it on her foot. "Rei-chan, you need larger socks..." Rei extended her other foot. "Why do you say that?" Shinji fought with the other sock, finally succeeding in getting it on as well. "Because they're too tight for your feet." Rei stood up, looking down at Shinji who was still kneeling on the floor. "...Perhaps I should..." "Perhaps you should...?" he asked, standing up. Rei half-smiled. "Perhaps I should." She slipped behind him, pushing him onto the bed stomach first, falling on top of him in the same manner, all in one swift motion. "I don't shop. Thank you for helping me Shin-chan." "You're welcome, Rei-chan," he wheezed softly from underneath her, then rolled her over, turning around to rest atop her while facing her. He leaned his head to the side, placing his lips upon her neck, kissing it softly after a split-second of contemplating the action. "I just hope I didn't expend all that energy just to have to get all this cloth off again." He grinned, then reviewed his words. 'Damn you Kensuke, what are you doing to me?' He shifted back into a smile. "We'd better get going." "Shin-chan..." She flipped him over so that he was under her again. "I win." She smiled softly, kissing him carefully on the lips. "Unless you want to help me make sure I didn't... forget anything." What could pass for a mischievous grin from Rei made itself known. "Point for your side..." He grinned, kissing her gently on the lips, proceeding to tickle her ribs and flip her over. "Point for my side." Once more he smiled. "So, I'll just break the tie." Rei's head jerked forward as she planted a _very_ deep kiss on him, sending Shinji's eyes flying wide open. They closed again a moment afterward as he felt her hands squeeze softly on his back. He was then caught completely off guard when she instantly broke and proceeded to flip him over. Unfortunately, lack of the mattress continuing in that particular direction sent the two sprawling onto the floor in a heap. "Oi... grand slam..." He wrapped his arms around Rei in an almost protective motion. "I win." She smiled gently. "Time to get up Shin-chan." "If I have my way, we both win," he smiled, helping Rei to her feet. "I believe... we already did." She smiled softly as she walked over to her case resting on the floor, peering into it. Her eyes rested on a small object, a gray spectacles case, large enough to fit within two hands. "Well, hurry hurry," he chuckled, his mood alight. Rei kept a lingering gaze on the container within her black case. After a moment of indecision, a small, faint smile crept upon her lips. She closed her case, picking it up with one hand and walked by Shinji as she headed for the door, pushing him softly back onto the bed purposefully in the process. Shinji sprung back up. "Hey!" He slipped an arm around one of hers. Rei drew his hand, leading him to the exit. "You've relaxed Shin-chan. Is it because you are with me?" "That, and because you are too." He smiled, eyes alight in good humour. Rei met him with a soft smile, slipping on her shoes with ease. "Are you ready?" "I am," he replied after completing the same action. The two walked quietly out the door, Rei closing it behind her. "Oh, Shin-chan?" "Yes, Rei-chan?" She slipped her arm back around his, laying her head on his shoulder. "We're late." Shinji tilted her head upward, kissing her softly on the lips. "Honestly, Rei-chan... I don't think I care if we are." "It's odd... but neither do I." She gave his hand a small tug, leading them toward the direction of the school. "Let's just walk peacefully to the school." "Yes, let's." He was once more met by a gentle smile. ------------------------------------ "Damn those two!" Asuka screamed from outside the open classroom door, throwing her case across the room with enough force to send an Angel stumbling backward. "For God's Sake, Asuka, what's wrong _now_?" Hikari asked. "Nothing's _wrong_! Whatever gave you _that_ idea?" she snapped as she marched into the room. `Maybe the fact that your face is as red as your hair and said hair is completely frazzled... and the fact that you knocked over three desks and one student with that bag toss...' Kensuke thought, sweatdropping. "Just a feeling..." Hikari answered. "Oh, so you're siding with them now?" Asuka asked with a huff. `Siding with `them'?' Kensuke thought, and subsequently moved up a desk as inconspicuously as possibly. "Them?" Hikari asked. "Schei=DF..." Asuka muttered. "Asuka, what do you mean by `them'?" Hikari pressed. "Nothing. It was nothing, okay!" she said, huffing again. "Where is that idiot Shinji? I didn't get a lunch this morning..." "`Nothing' doesn't cause you to throw a book bag across the room and knock over three desks... and a student," Hikari stated. `Hey, _I_ said that! No wait, I didn't...' Kensuke thought. Asuka sighed. "You won't leave me alone until I spill out what you think my `problems' are, will you?" "What do you think?" Hikari asked, grinning deviously. "Last night," Asuka muttered, lowering her voice. Kensuke shifted forward another desk to keep an ear on the conversation. "Last night..." Hikari nodded. "_Rei_..." Asuka whispered. "Last night, Rei..." Hikari began compiling the sentence. "Rei was invited over," Asuka finished as Kensuke leaned in to hear more clearly. "So the problem is..." Hikari pressed. "By Shinji." Asuka interrupted her, the answer causing Kensuke to fall out of the desk he occupied and hit the floor between the two girls. Asuka grabbed Kensuke by the collar of his shirt and shook him. "What the _HELL_ are you doing?!" "I was just... that is... err..." Kensuke stuttered, shaking his head. "Did you say that Shinji invited Rei over to his... I mean, your... home last night?" Asuka nodded curtly. "Oooh, I gotta _hear_ this!" Kensuke brightened, pulling out his camera. "Care to do a documentary, Asuka?" "Hell _NO_! You won't be able to hear anything for the rest of the week if you don't put that camera away. NOW!" Kensuke noticed the look on her face, the same look she had given the boy before she threw him off of the stairwell, and quickly, though sadly, tucked away the camera. "Yes, Shinji did invite Rei over... but that's not the worst of it." Hikari and Kensuke each mocked surprise and asked simultaneously, "They didn't! Did they?" Both had slight grins on their faces. Asuka let Kensuke go and sat down. As he pulled up a desk, she continued, "I know something happened... I'm sure they did! Wanted to borrow one of _my_ uniforms, probably because they messed hers up! Might have explained why she was walking around naked! And in Shinji's clothes this morning..." Shocked, Kensuke fell out of his chair. "My God..." Hikari said quietly, shocked. "Hmmph! He deserved to have the door of his room torn off!" "You didn't..." Hikari said. "And you know what I found?! The two of them, on the floor!" "I wish I'd had my camera there..." Kensuke said in an appraising voice. "They weren't... were they?" Hikari asked. Asuka harrumphed again. "Not at that point, no. But for God's Sake, she slept with him all night! Who the hell is to say that they got any sleep, huh?! All of that bloody noise keeping me up half the night... He certainly wasn't wearing the same clothes he had been in when I saw him the night before!" "Well, you could check... wait, that would be a bit hard, wouldn't it..." Kensuke mused. As soon as his mouth closed again, Kensuke was slapped across the face by Asuka. `Man, where's Touji at a time like _this_?!' Kensuke thought. "They're probably getting it on right now..." Asuka spat. "It would explain why they're late," Hikari and Kensuke said as one. "Trust me. They're at it right now, I'm sure of it." "I have a hard time seeing Shinji doing that... and Rei... Rei... somehow, I don't see her smiling, much less anything else... like that." Hikari frowned. Kensuke started digging around in his bag for a fresh digital video disk in preparation for the event. "Hikari, you don't _live_ with him... and that _girl_... she'd do anything if she was ordered to..." "Maybe... she actually _likes_ him..." Hikari mused. "Dolls aren't capable of emotion, Hikari," Asuka said dully. "Wait. Are you saying that Shinji's forcing Rei to have sex with him? That's... int---," Kensuke said, eliciting a slap from Asuka, both girls disregarding his natural perverted comments. "Dolls?" Hikari asked. "No, that is _not_ what I'm saying, and _yes_, Hikari, dolls." "Then what are you saying?" Kensuke asked. "And why do you keep calling her a doll?" Hikari followed up. "I am saying, Kensuke Aida, that those two are completely indecent, and I keep calling her that, Class Representative Horaki, because she _is_." "But..." Hikari began. "You know, Asuka... to be honest..." Kensuke said, summoning up whatever courage he actually had to face her. "It's their choice to do what they want." "Not in _my_ house, not in _this_ town..." Asuka began loudly, then dropped her voice, "... and not with my Shinji." Then her voice rose in volume again. She deserved what she got last night! And if I don't miss my guess, she'll be sore for a week!" Asuka grinned devilishly. "Serves the bitch right." Kensuke sweatdropped, and Hikari replied in his stead. "I thought you just said you _didn't_ want them getting at each other." "They were going at it _that_hard_?" Kensuke asked, surprised at Hikari's bluntness. "I heard what I heard... which included more than enough moans and groans," Asuka answered, bringing a strange grin to Kensuke's face. "But that wasn't what I meant!" `That damn doll...' "I meant the beating I gave her last night!" she added with a dark grin. "You _what_?!" Hikari and Kensuke asked together. `Next thing you know, she'll be saying that she forced herself on Shinji... And at this point, I don't think I would be too surprised.' Kensuke thought. "Slapped her three times! And she didn't do anything!" Asuka said darkly. "Then you know what that _jerk_ did? He slapped me! _Me_!!!" "Not like you didn't deserve it," Kensuke said snidely, to which Asuka smacked him across the face. "But..." Hikari began. "And then _she_ slapped me! That bloody doll slapped me! This morning! Shinji put her up to it, I _know_ it. She's just his own little toy. She'll do whatever he wants! She doesn't think for herself at all!" `It sounds like she is...' The thought simultaneously crossed the consciousness of Kensuke and Hikari. "You know... it could be... however unlikely... that you _may_ just be in the wrong this time..." Kensuke commented. Asuka raised her hand above her head in preparation to slap him. Kensuke, for his part, flinched, but did not look away. "Kensuke-chan, when I want your input... I'll let you know!" `Chan?' Kensuke thought, noting the _lack_ of sarcasm. `What the hell?!' "Asuka..." Hikari said. "What?" Asuka asked, sighing and returning to her seat. "A piece of advice. If you want Shinji _this_bad_... you'd better tell him... straight out. Otherwise..." Hikari wisely cut herself off. "_What_?!" Kensuke cried. "Oh, you didn't know, did you..." Hikari said softly. "Wow... Shinji making love to _two_ girls his own age..." Kensuke said, thoroughly impressed. Hikari promptly slapped him for Asuka. `At the same time... he may need some help. I'll have to offer my... assistance... later' he thought with a devious grin plastered on his face. "No, this is new to me. I always figured he liked Rei, to be honest, and the other way around... Turns out I was right... But _Asuka_? I had no clue..." "I... Schei=DF!" Asuka said, turning red. "No sense in denying it now, Asuka. And if you don't admit it to _him_... it _will_ be too late," Hikari pointed out. "But if you said that, what would it do to him? I'll be straight out. I knew he liked Rei for a while, even if he didn't know it himself. You know how he is. If you tell him that, what'll it do to him? He'll be hurt!" Kensuke said. "But... what about me?" Asuka asked. "If you really do care for him... you're going to stay quiet. It's really the only thing you _can_ do. I don't want to sound cruel... but it wouldn't be right. Not now," Kensuke answered. "Schei=DF... My... reaction didn't help, did it..." "No, it didn't..." Hikari admitted. "I'll... think about it," Asuka relented as she went to retrieve her fallen book bag. "Hey Hikari?" Kensuke said. "What?" she asked. "Do you think Shinji wants a third girl?" "Kensuke Aida, if I thought it would do _any_ good, I would smack you... again." "Sorry," Kensuke said, grinning. "Still... today should be... different. If I can ask, how do you feel about all of this?" "I don't know, Kensuke. Asuka's my friend... seeing her hurt like this..." Hikari said, shaking her head. "I don't know if I want to believe any of this. If it were a dream, I'd be happy to see it _end_. But, somehow, I know it's not." "I can't say that at all," Kensuke admitted. "How do you mean?" Hikari asked. "You see it from Asuka's point of view... but I see it from Shinji's." "He must be happy..." "I'm happy for him... no, for them," Kensuke said with a smile which quickly spread into an all-out grin. "I'll have to... speak with them, later." "You don't quit, do you?" "Nope," he admitted, still grinning. ------------------------------------ Seemingly unconcerned, the two Children walked down one of the many quiet Tokyo-3 streets, linked arm in arm, both situated firmly in their respective thoughts. 'This is the first time I'm not going to mind holding buckets,' Shinji thought, resisting the urge to shake his head in disbelief. 'I have only observed the holding of buckets before...' came the almost simultaneous thought from Rei. "Shinji-chan?" "It isn't all that hard, really," Shinji said, off-hand. "Holding buckets." "I don't think I have seen you do that before." "You've never seen me with a reason to be late, either," Shinji replied, grinning. "Yes, I have. Katsuragi-san... can be slow in the morning, from what I have overheard from Akagi-san." "No, not like that. I mean you haven't seen me with a reason for which I wouldn't mind being late. And Misato-san isn't that bad... as long as she gets her beer in the morning..." "So... you mind being late when it is because of Misato-san?" Rei asked softly. "I wouldn't know. I've never been late because of her." "I have never been _late_..." Rei said, voice distant. "I have simply not been there." 'Come to think of it, I _had_ noticed that...' "But holding buckets looks like a simple task... compared to other things." "Other things?" Shinji asked, somewhat confused. "Life," Rei replied. "Though life is not a task." "No one ever said it was easy, though." "I do not find it to be difficult, nor easy. I find it to be an experience. At times, a curse... at other times, a blessing," Rei answered. 'It is... so confusing, now,' she thought, before continuing aloud, "But it is something I will do." "I find that I _was_ right about one thing. You _are_ strong, Rei," Shinji laughed softly. "I know exactly what you mean... I think all life is that way... both a blessing and a curse, I mean." "Why do you find it like that?" "Life is just... well... like that. I see 'us'... a blessing, but so many things still exist to try to take that away." Rei eyed him for a moment, then spoke again, "Why do you find strength in me?" "I... don't think I can explain it. I don't think _anyone_ can. Finding comfort, strength, warmth... with another... is part of what makes us who we are. Human." "Then... you do not understand why I am strong in your eyes, yet you find the existence of that strength?" Rei asked. "I think it's... oh, what's the word I want?... relative." "Perhaps. But, are you saying that if one doesn't find these things, that they are inhuman?" "No, I didn't mean it like that," Shinji replied, sweatdropping. 'A nice walk to school... All I wanted was a nice, _quiet_ walk to school. And now I'm discussing philosophy...' "Then what did you mean?" "Let me... rephrase my statement... It's part of how one can view their humanity. One of many ways." "In a sense... they are another way to live life...," Rei agreed, tightening her grip on his arm and smiling faintly. "A blessing." "Yes. Something... special." "Why is it special?" "Just by definition. There isn't always a real _reason_ for everything," Shinji replied, masking his anger at having dug himself in all the deeper remarkably well. "Shin-chan, you seem to enjoy discussing the values of life." "Most anything _can_ be taken that way, Rei-chan. Honestly, though... I would rather live life and leave others to debate the value of it. That's something I learned from my time in the Eva. If you value _yourself_, that's what's going to count." "A thought," Rei said, as much for her benefit as for Shinji's. "Shin-chan?" "Yes, Rei?" "Can we talk about something else?" she asked softly. "About whatever you want, Rei-chan," Shinji said. 'Oh, thank God...' "Something that you would like to." "Hmmm..." he mused cautiously. "Life?" Rei asked, somewhat hopefully. "Rei-chan..." Shinji chuckled. "Your sense of humour leaves something to be desired." Rei turned a somewhat dark glare at Shinji. "However," he continued, giving her hand a soft squeeze, "the rest of you does not." Rei smiled lightly. "Your reactions are... interesting." "Oh they are?" "Yes, they are. So are you, as a whole." "Thank you, Rei." "It's truth," Rei replied, holding Shinji's hand tightly for a few moments before relaxing her grip. 'Last time she mentioned truth... I thought the entire room was going to have a heart attack...' "What would be nice?" she asked. "What?" "Right now, what would be something nice?" "I'm not sure I understand. This is nice." Shinji smiled softly. "You understand." "I do?" Shinji asked, taken slightly aback. "That is a new experience for you, to know what is going on," Rei replied, chuckling lightly. "You are interesting, Shin-chan." 'Laughter, a sign of... amusement? Joy,' she thought. "This is not all." "This is not all... of what?" "That's pleasant. What is wanted is to be with the other. I am with you now, and that's pleasant." "It is." He nodded. "As long as I am with you, it's pleasant. It doesn't matter, because it brings happiness," Rei said, bringing a smile to Shinji's face. "There are just different ways to express the happiness we give each other, our will to be with someone... not alone," Rei continued, smiling. "Someone that you care about. I am happy to be with you, Shinji-chan." "As I am with you, Rei-chan." "We are not alone. We complete each other. You are who I wish to become one with, who I would unite my soul with." "No, we aren't alone. And I think... I think that is my wish as well," Shinji replied. "Shinji... mentally and physically... we become one." "And that is so horrid a thing that I should be afraid?" Shinji asked, thinking, 'To become one with Rei Ayanami... body... mind... and soul... Why would I fear that?' "It is something to fear, perhaps. Yet, it is something that we need," she said, pulling Shinji to a stop, holding him to her. "It is truth. To become one with Shinji Ikari... with you... my all." After a moment of silence, she continued. "To physically unite the soul... is not possible... so we unite the soul in other ways." "A way to... no. It simply is. To become one with Rei Ayanami. Truth." "Truth, to become one, with each other," Rei said, kissing him lightly on the lips, then pulling him back to a brisk walk. "It is comforting to know that, Shinji-chan." "I think that it is not the joining which we should fear." "I do not fear it," she stated, looking at him. "I wouldn't want to." "That's good," Shinji answered with a smile, then looked forward. "One more block." "And do you fear it?" "With you? No." "Good," Rei said with a smile. Suddenly, in the background, the two could hear the sound of a loud car motor gunning, and promptly turned in the direction of the sound. ------------------------------------ Inside the car, Misato was watching the road intently. "Ah, geez! I'm running _way_ too late today!" she cried aloud as the car increased in speed. 'Damn it Ritsuko... it was your moaning and groaning from that alcohol that kept me up half the night...' As the car flew past, she looked aside momentarily, and saw what appeared to be Shinji and Rei walking along the sidewalk. '_I'm_ that late? They're not even gonna let those two in the gate if they don't hurry... Hold on a second...' After thinking it over, which took her all of a few seconds, she looked over at the digital clock stationed on the dashboard. Her eyes widened suddenly, and her foot fell on the brake like a block of lead, the car sliding through an empty intersection before coming to a rest. "Why did it take them that long to get to school?! What in the blue blazes is going on here? At least Kaji and I had the decency not to show at all..." she said, looked back, then threw the car into reverse and floored the gas pedal, causing the car to shoot back _across_ the intersection. "I must've been seeing things... but just in case..." Misato wheeled the car back up the vacant street, in an attempt to make _damned_ sure she wasn't seeing things, though hoping that she was, and saw, just as they had been, Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami walking along the sidewalk, hand in hand. "Running a little late, aren't we?" Misato called through the open car window to her left, causing Shinji to sweat lightly. "Yes, we are," Rei replied calmly. "Well, so am I... Just make sure you get there. And Shinji... don't stop anywhere along the way," Misato added. 'Anywhere... a motel, hotel, inn, rest stop... ice cream shack... anywhere secluded at all.' "The building is less than one block away, Major." "That's one block too far. Now _move_!" Misato yelled at the pair. "Actually, we're already on that block..." Shinji said, raising an eyebrow. "Misato-san, why are you running so late?" "Still too far. If I can still see you two in thirty seconds... oh geez... don't ask why, Shinji. Just _go_!" 'Why is she bothered by this? I... don't like it,' Rei thought. 'They're too calm...' "Yes Major," Shinji said, eyes narrowing slightly. "And have a good day!" Misato called as she floored the gas pedal. 'Maybe those weren't the right words,' she thought, sweatdropping, pressing the pedal to the floor. "If anything... that didn't help..." ------------------------------------ "Shin-chan?" Rei asked in a placid voice. "Yes, Rei-chan?" "I am... bothered." "How so?" Shinji asked. "Major Katsuragi's... comments." "Why's that?" "Because it is not her decision, nor does she make any true attempt to understand. She follows only what she deems apparent, whether it is truth or not." "I guess... she's always been like that," Shinji replied. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Adults often have a ... different... way of looking at things." "And if I shouldn't worry... why did you react the way you did?" Rei asked simply. "I was... surprised." "It seems to be expected." "With Misato-san... what's to be expected isn't always what one gets." "That applies to all living beings: human, animal, or Angel alike," Rei replied. 'What is and what isn't... are to be expected. Randomness is what is predicted.' "I'd say that covers it," Shinji said, smiling softly. "Misato-san's just... a little more unexpected than most." "She contradicts herself." "It's a habit." As soon as Shinji spoke, Rei stopped walking. "Rei-chan?" he asked, somewhat worriedly. "We're here," she replied, smiling slightly. "Oh!" Shinji said, looking up with a smile. "So we are. Well, we'd better get in there..." "How heavy are they?" Rei asked as the two walked toward the school. "Not heavy, really..." Shinji answered, sweatdropping. ------------------------------------ "Where the hell _are_ those two?!" Asuka muttered, a little more loudly than she would've liked. "Where's sensei for that matter?" Hikari questioned, paying little heed to the impact of Asuka's statement. "Oh God... no, I'm not saying it..." Kensuke mumbled, his skin beginning to pale. 'A three-some?' "What's wrong with you?" Asuka huffed, giving him a haughty look. "You don't wanna know..." He quickly covered his mouth, looking as if he was about ready to insert his breakfast upon his desk as Ritsuko had done on Misato's table earlier that morning. "You're right," Hikari said with slight disdain in her voice, "we don't want to know." Her eyes soon fell upon the door to the classroom. "My God, I wonder who's going to make it first..." "Better Misato..." Kensuke thought aloud. "What?" "Oh... nothing... nothing..." he said, quickly covering up his error from Asuka. Hikari was oblivious to the exchange, keeping a silent vigil over the door. Asuka merely let out an exasperated sigh, then too watched the door. "For the love of... where are they? This is absolutely despicable! What the hell are they doing?" "Oh, you know..." Kensuke cooed, a wide grin spreading across his face, one which was immediately wiped off his face with a dark, demonic look from Asuka. He quickly slipped lower in his chair, searching for a location of safety. 'If I were in Shinji's position, I would be too. Better to die happy... with how Asuka is.' As if complimenting his thoughts to an opposite extreme, the door to the classroom opened, revealing Shinji and Rei standing side They only caught a few looks from other students, who just as quickly returned to their own discussions. The two took separate paths, walking to their desks in silence. Quickly shattered silence. "Hey! Ikari!" Kensuke yelled in greeting as he made his way from Asuka and Hikari to his own desk. "Kensuke!" Shinji greeted, somewhat startled out of his own state of thought. "Pull up a seat!" Kensuke said sitting down. Shinji quickly ducked into the desk in front of Kensuke, oddly enough in synchronization with Rei as she seated herself in her own. Kensuke rose from his own to sit in another next to Shinji. "Ummm... where's... sensei?" Shinji glanced around, confusion spreading across his face. 'Aren't we late?' "He still isn't here." Kensuke quickly followed up with a grin. "That's, a... good, I guess," came the reply, the boy's gaze falling to his desktop. "It's not like you to be late. Training at NERV?" "Erm... no..." "Then you were!" Kensuke declared, a broad grin etched across his facial features. Shinji looked at him stupidly, which probably wasn't the most ideal choice of actions. "Were what?" "Oh, you know what, Ikari-kun..." Kensuke chided, a devious grin replacing the wide one which had adorned his face just prior. While the two boys continued to exchange words, Rei had silently made her way over to a desk adjacent to Shinji's, listening quietly to the conversation. "Ikari-kun?" Shinji questioned, a dumb look still carved in his face. "Since when do you ca---" He stopped short as his brain relayed the meaning of the statement to him. He spoke quietly, barely audible. "Oh no." "Is something wrong?" Rei asked, seeing his reaction. A sly grin crossed Kensuke's face. "Shinji's just telling me how you two were..." He let it trail off. "Were what?" Rei asked, placidly watching him. "Oh, nothing..." The grin never disappeared from his face. "Yeah, were what?" Shinji snapped, finally recovering from Kensuke's realizations donning on him. "What are you thinking of _now_?" "Well... why else would a guy and girl be _this_ late to class in the morning, _and_ arrive together?" "Misato's cooking," Shinji mumbled. "NERV appointment," Rei offered quietly. "Ritsuko calling us in for tests." "Scheduled appointment for medical examinations. "Knowing Asuka." "Sex... together... apartment... no clothes... no adults..." Kensuke rattled the words off, one after another, his grin having become uncontrollable. Shinji stopped completely, his eyes having widened greatly, lips slightly parted, breathing having become barely apparent. No words could escape his lips, for he could no longer think of any. That was the first time the statement had been made that clear in conversation, and needless to say, discussing it was obviously not one of his strong points. His dead-still reaction was complemented only by a soft blush from Rei, who was watching the two boys intently. "If Rei's _blushing_, I _know_ I'm right!" was the triumphant declare of Kensuke Aida as he beamed proudly. "S... se... se..." He could not form the word with his own voice. "We... we were..." Shinji successfully stumbled over his words, unsuccessfully stating the reality of the situation. "No, you are not," Rei spoke softly. "Only four of the five are correct." "Well, four out of five ain't bad," Kensuke mused, staring at the floor for a moment before looking up again. "If that's the case... what was I wrong on, the apartment?" He paused momentarily. "Or did Misato-san help?" Shinji's skin tone now matched that of Unit Two. "No, she did _not_ help us!" Momentary reflection on the way he had phrased that resulted in one thought. 'That didn't sound right.' His comment was met by the continuous grin. "Who did, then? Ritsuko?" "She's incapacitated at Shin-chan's apartment," Rei mentioned quietly. "Too big, Shin-chan?" Kensuke intoned, then continued grinning. "Or maybe you couldn't handle any more?" "God... Kensuke... you're as bad as Touji... now shut up before I break that prized camera of yours." He gave Kensuke a menacing frown, though it had little impact due to his red complexion. Kensuke looked confused, though his innocence was hardly an innocent act. "Why does it bother you when I'm talking about you and Rei making love to each other?" "Well, the fact that we're _not_ might be a good place to start," Shinji stated firmly. 'Though... it's not like we haven't all but---' "Don't lie to me, there's no point! I already heard everything!" Kensuke practically shouted back, interrupting Shinji's thoughts. Shinji's head promptly fell to the desk in pseudo-defeat. "Heard all of what?" His misery was complemented by a soft moan. Rei stood beside him, resting a hand on Shinji's back as her eyes softened in intensity. Kensuke meanwhile had observed the situation and had come to a natural conclusion. "Yeah, I bet that's just what you were doing." "Would you please be quiet? You're making him ill." Kensuke looked startled. "Hey, I..." For once, Kensuke found himself stumbling over his words, blushing softly. 'That is... I... you're defending him?' Rei's gaze fell upon Shinji, her hand still resting on his back. "Shin-chan?" "I'm okay. This is _normal_ for Kensuke." "I... am sorry," she said, in a tone which could reflect pity. She softly wrapped her arms around Shinji's neck and leaned over him, coming face to face with Kensuke. "Now, what were you saying?" "I... uhhh... Nothing. Absolutely nothing." He blushed furiously. "I was just... ummm... putting my foot in my mouth, shoe and all. Yeah, that's it. Foot in the mouth, shoe and all." The Physically Impossible Kensuke Aida Task was promptly attempted to no avail, followed Shinji blushed lightly, smiling ever so slightly. "Thank you, Rei-chan." The light smile was mirrored by Rei. "Of course." Kensuke's mouth dropped open, completely stunned. Rei all but glared at him, speaking flatly. "What?" Another blush was set off on Kensuke's face. "I was just... uhhh... just, admiring your beautiful... ummm... smile. Errr, yeah." Confidence was not one of his strong points. Rei continued to hold Shinji around the neck. "I take it... you will also be eating your sock." "If you think it would help..." Kensuke replied, grinning mischievously. "That, and the other shoe." Kensuke sweated lightly, but soon began attempting to fit a foot into his mouth again under Rei's cool stare. Equally timed, Asuka had dragged Hikari half-way across the room and had taken the opportunity to join into the conversation, trying to contain laughter from Kensuke's comical appearance. "What'cha doin', Kensuke?" "MMPH!" Kensuke had finally managed to get one shoed foot into his mouth. 'Losing all sense of pride and decency, what does it look like you idiot?' His only response was Hikari who had begun chuckling, which set him off into a full facial blush. "You left out a foot," Rei stated quietly. "Mmpfff.... Mpfff Pfff...." "Erm... Rei-chan?" Shinji called, tapping her hand softly. "Yes?" Rei responded curtly, as she watched Kensuke vainly attempting to get his other foot _near_ his face. "I... think he's choking..." Kensuke quickly began shaking his head. "MMM mmm! Mo!" "He said no," Rei replied just as curtly. "If he was, he could have stopped." Kensuke's only option was to scream inwardly. Asuka leaned forward and began whispering in his ear. "You got on Rei's bad side... I didn't know Rei _had_ a bad side." "Irm wasm em bmmm sim. Ah mnd frnm frm Smnguh." Of course, no one could make out one word he was saying. "Ummm... hello Shinji, Rei," Hikari said, making her first entrance into the conversation since her arrival. "Hello Hikari." "Hello, Representative Horaki." A bead of sweat quickly rolled down Asuka's head as Hikari responded to the extraneous greeting. "The title isn't necessary." "It is who you are, is it not?" "Well, yes..." "Or is there another who you are as well? For the first time, Hikari produced a comical anime sweatdrop. "Told you she's nuts," Asuka muttered. Rei glared vigilantly at Asuka. "Dolls are not insane, Second." Kensuke finally succeeded in getting his second foot in his mouth... barely. Most likely assisted by his action of choking, produced both by Rei's comment and Asuka's reaction of turning bright red. Shinji opened his mouth partially to say something, but quickly thought better of it and clamped it shut. "You can stop now Aida-kun," Rei said softly. Kensuke happily sighed and managed to pull both feet out of his mouth, albeit with some difficulty. Rei just as quickly turned her attention back to Asuka. "You can not have it both ways. Actually, you can not have it either." 'She _really_ got her angry, didn't she?' Hikari thought to herself. "I will not be lectured by the likes of you, Wonder Girl!" Asuka declared. Kensuke quickly attempted to alleviate the moment, seeing the brooding figure of Asuka beginning to surface. "Well, _that_ was fun!" He failed miserably. "My name is Rei Ayanami, Pilot Sohryuu. Rei Ayanami, or Pilot Ayanami, Second. I am what makes Rei Ayanami. All of it." Each word held deafening impact, yet were spoken as softly as music in the wind. Asuka growled darkly, the blue flames of her eyes beginning to dance. Hikari looked worriedly at her friend, even more worriedly as she Kensuke glancing around, as if searching for shelter from the brewing storm. Even glancing at Shinji held no comfort, as fear was painted in the iris's of his eyes; Rei was still clutching him softly, meaning he was in a very dangerous position between the two girls at the present moment. "Is there something you would like to say?" Rei asked of the redheaded girl calmly. "...You'll learn to regret that, Ayanami," Asuka finally replied, a dark tone etched in her voice. "You _will_." 'I swear it!' Rei soon followed up with a light, gentle smile. She spoke gently to her apparent nemesis. "Well. That's good for you." Shinji's eyes widened in surprise. Asuka harrumphed in that definitive Asuka manner and stalked off as if she were about to pounce on something and kill it just for the sake of doing so, Hikari watching as she left. 'Burn me, I never thought I'd live to see that!' Kensuke opened and closed his mouth several times in succession before the scene registered properly in his mind. His stunned look was soon replaced by a thoughtful expression, and the most descriptive words that he could think of concerning the exchange followed. "Wow." Shinji, meanwhile, still had his mind on other things. 'That's... good for you?' "Rei, I'm so proud of you I could kiss you." A grin crossed his lips. "But then Kensuke would take it the wrong way." "No! No I wouldn't!" Kensuke said, obviously frightened. "There is no obstruction," Rei replied softly, smiling lightly. Shinji turned his head and kissed Rei softly on the cheek. The entire class fell out of their chairs, with the exception of those who were standing around Shinji, who just gawked at the sight. Rei smiled lightly at Shinji, turning her head toward him and kissing him gently on the lips. Asuka quickly showed her displeasure by punting a trio of students into the sensei's desk, knocking it over, scattering papers on the floor. The remainder of the class broke out into a flurry of excited chatter, worried faces, and unimaginable amounts of gossip as the two kissed. An interesting moment. Spoiled by the arrival of the frail sensei. "Hello class, I'm afraid there was a---" He stopped short. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. He looked calmly at the sight before him. He viewed every student frozen in place, staring at him; Asuka staring at three students on the ground, hovering over them near his overturned desk; Kensuke and Hikari looking extremely nervous; Rei and Shinji frozen in a kiss, apparently taking no notice to any of their surroundings. He turned around and walked out of the classroom. He walked in again, took off his glasses, wiped them off with a cloth from his pocket, and then put them back on his head. He blinked, walked to his desk, and dropped the papers he was carrying on the floor. "Take your seats, students," he ordered, completely unruffled. "Class Representative Horaki?" Hikari attempted to recover from her stupor. "Ye... ye... yes, sir?" "Your job still applies." "Err, yes sir." She quickly walked up to the front of the class. "Stand up! Sit down! Bow!" Her directions were perfectly followed, no one saying anything afterward. Hikari moved to her desk, a perfect arrangement of students, with the exception for the three students still on the teacher's desk, Asuka still hovering over them, Shinji and Rei still frozen, as well as Kensuke still sweating heavily out of sheer nervousness and unparalleled fear. "Class Representative Horaki?" "Y... yes sir?" came the nervous reply. The sensei coughed softly. "Perhaps I'm getting on in my years... but tell me, am I seeing things correctly?" "Yes sir..." He nodded. "Very well." His gaze fell to the three students still sprawled on his overturned desk. "Would you three please go to your seats?" "Yes sir!" came the unanimous shout, complying happily with the request. He bent over, picking up a notebook and calling out attendance. "Aida? Kensuke Aida?" "H-h-h-here, sensei." "Please stand by the door." Kensuke nervously made his way over to the door and waited in terror. "Ayanami? Rei Ayanami?" He pointed at the door. The same result came for both Shinji and Asuka as their names were called. As the last name rolled off of the list, he dropped the attendance list on his desk and faced the four by the door. He coughed lightly. And lost it completely. "TAKE THE BUCKETS AND GET THE _HELL_ OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" His scream was loud enough to echo through every room in the building. Which it did, which was rather impressive given his old age and soft voice. Needless to say, he managed to terrify nearly everyone in his classroom. Shinji and Kensuke quickly jumped to attention, picked up a bucket in each hand and headed for the door at record speed. Rei and Asuka followed at a much more subdued pace. "Horaki?" "Yes, sir?" Hikari asked, sounding somewhat worried. "You too." Hikari sighed softly. "Yes, sir." She slowly rose from her seat and took two buckets filled with water herself, leaving the room in dismay. The classroom again fell into a state of gossip; the Class Representative, the good student being removed from the classroom, was as close to a sign of the Apocalypse as Shinji and Rei's earlier exchange. The sensei silenced the class with a calm look; one that could evolve into a fierce temper if needed. He bent down, standing his desk up and scooping his papers off of the floor in an orderly fashion. He set them down on his desk, turned to face the class and coughed once more. "Today we will be reviewing the second week after the Second Impact." All the students fell out of their chairs, groaning in dismay, mildly stunned. Though, it wasn't a complete surprise. Another look from the sensei silenced the class once more. The students reseated themselves, some with hidden smiles on their faces, others slumping into the 'bored' position. The hectic classroom returned to its former glory, before the morning's events had occurred; though one student had taken to imitating Kensuke, feverishly typing away at his computer. Apparently, nothing had gone unnoticed that didn't result in class interest. ------------------------------------ Out in the hallway, Asuka was already complaining. "Why the hell did he send _me_ out here?!" she ranted. "You overturned his desk and injured three students," Rei answered calmly, standing next to Shinji with a bucket in each hand. "One of them was the one you hit with the bag this morning too..." Kensuke added. "Then at least one of them deserved it. What kind of idiot gets in my way twice anyway?" Asuka asked angrily, glaring at Shinji. "Actually, that was also the same one you... made bounce off the ground," Kensuke put in, bringing twin sweatdrops from Shinji and Hikari. "Then it was his own damned fault. He had two times advanced warning!" 'I bet she rushes in there and dumps the bucket on his head,' Kensuke thought. "I can't believe this..." Hikari said quietly. "Something wrong, Class Rep?" Shinji asked, just as softly. Hikari gulped loudly. "I've... never been sent out before..." "It isn't all that bad," Shinji replied, smiling. "Yeah! And after a while, you even get used to it, too!" Kensuke added, almost joyfully. 'Well... maybe _you_ do,' was all Shinji thought. "Really?" Hikari queried glumly. "I'm new at this also." "You're doing great," Kensuke reassured. "Just remember not to spill any." Hikari nodded slowly. "Like ducks to water, eh, Ikari-kun?" Kensuke asked, noting at the edge of his vision that Rei was staring intently into one of the buckets she was holding. "Must you talk about water, Kensuke?" Shinji groaned. "I... don't think..." Rei said slowly. "Eh?" Kensuke 'said' to Rei. "...there is enough to swim in," Rei finished. "No, but there's still enough to make sure you're all wet," Kensuke and Asuka threatened simultaneously. "Oh, please don't let anything happen..." Hikari said aloud. "Is... that a challenge?" Shinji asked, somewhat unsure. Again simultaneously, Kensuke answered no, while Asuka answered yes. Both promptly sweatdropped. "A challenge? I don't understand, Shin-chan." "I'll explain later," Shinji said to Rei before turning on Asuka. "Take your challenge somewhere else. I'm not exactly in a good mood right now, and you're _not_ helping it." "Thank you," Hikari mouthed silently. "Oh, the almighty Shinji-sama becomes angry!" Asuka taunted, mock- bowing for emphasis. "At least, there is one thing that you can do for Shin-chan," Rei said softly. "That being?" "You can make him angry. But... that isn't a good thing." Instead of any normal reaction, Asuka responded with a sharp laugh. "I can make Shinji _anything_I_want_. Living with people gives you a certain amount of... insight," she continued, a wicked grin playing at her mouth. "Now you, Ayanami-_chan_... you know nothing. _Nothing_. So back down before you hurt yourself on something that you don't understand." Rei blinked. "I don't care." "Exactly. You don't even know _how_." "I don't care about you," Rei explained, voice level. Asuka, now simply annoyed, sniffed disdainfully. "Rei-chan..." Shinji began softly. She turned to face him, and dropped her voice to a whisper. "That is not true." "I know you well enough to know that," Shinji replied in a whisper, smiling. "And there's no way I could possibly kiss you and not spill my buckets." "Is it worth taking another risk?" she asked gently. "You're probably right. There _are_ windows nearby," Shinji agreed. "Wonder if it's worth dumping a bucket on them..." Asuka mumbled to herself. "I need to get back to my computer. I forgot... oh shit..." Kensuke spoke his thoughts aloud. "Is something wrong, Aida-kun?" Hikari asked. "What? Oh, nothing. I just forgot to save a document..." he replied, thinking, 'And forgot to close my connection, too. They could trace that and I'd never know.' "We are left at an impasse," Rei asserted. "Well... I could always try to convince Asuka to carry a third bucket..." Shinji stated, grinning. "That... was a joke... right?" Rei asked uncertainly. "Either that, or I don't know when I'm serious and when I'm not," Shinji answered, smiling. "Perhaps." "I'll just put a rain check on that kiss." --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Link: I'll put a rain check on that kiss, Princess. This _always_happens_! --- "This is... simple," Rei stated, leaning her back against Shinji's very carefully. "It does get boring after a while," Shinji and Kensuke said, mere moments apart. "I can always find you another bucket!" the professor yelled from within the classroom. "Now shut the hell up out there, because we're trying to conduct a class _in_here_!" As soon as he finished yelling, moans and groans came loudly from the classroom as the daily lecture on the Second Impact resumed. 'How can he still being doing Second Impact? I've been here for a year already...' "Now you've done it..." Kensuke whispered. "I'm in for it..." Hikari said, shaking her head. "They'll strip me of my position..." "Maybe not..." Shinji whispered to her. "I have an idea if you're really _that_ worried." "Yes?" Hikari asked brightly. "Anything..." "Set us straight," Shinji stated simply. "You're _not_ serious... are you?" Kensuke and Asuka asked. "Just yell at us, and march us into class. We can behave properly until class is over, can't we?" "Y... yell at you...?" "I mean, give us orders to behave, apologies for misbehaving, you know, the kind of thing that would make sensei proud of you." "Oh!" Hikari gasped a whisper. As soon as the words were off of Shinji's lips, Kensuke groaned nearly as loudly as the entire class combined when the lecture had resumed, and Asuka very nearly dropped both of her buckets. "Umm... does that sound... okay?" Shinji asked. "Perfect. Ikari-kun, you're a life-saver." "Well, I'm kind of responsible for this happening, so..." "Now, _you_four_!" Hikari commanded, suddenly all business. "You're going back in there, and when you do, you're making a _public_apology_ to sensei for causing such a ruckus, and you're all on duty after school to clean the room until it _SHINES_! Now _move_!" Everyone jumped. Even Hikari. "There, how was that?" she asked Shinji in a hushed whisper. "Great. Ummm... can we get started cleaning early, though?" "Whenever you like. I don't think sensei would even notice once he got back to his lecture," Hikari confided. Shinji nodded once, and walked slowly into the room, followed by the others. In particular, Rei was obviously making an effort to look quite defeated, though that proved to be no challenge for Asuka and Kensuke. Hikari trailed behind the others, who all turned to face the semi-stunned teacher. Hikari nodded, managing to look somewhat fierce, and perhaps even overbearing in the face of an ancient teacher, a child-prodigy hacker, and the three saviours of the world. "Now..." she hissed. "Gomen!" Shinji choked out, followed in suit by a more formal and respectful Rei, and then Kensuke, who was _surely_ putting on an act, then finally by Asuka, who stated her sorrow flatly, without so much as a hint of sincerity. "Now, put the buckets down and go to your seats! You're wasting time!" Hikari berated, watching as the four dropped their buckets and dove for the cover of their seats. "Is this acceptable, sensei?" "Well done, Class Representative Horaki. Take your seat, and we will overlook this... incident," he replied coolly. 'Haven't lost my edge... right down to the time they'd come back.' --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Gendou Ikari: He taught me too! Kouzou Fuyutsuki: I studied with him once. How the hell old _is_ this guy? Gendou's Father: You don't want to know. Kihl Lorentz: I studied with him... I think it was... 50 A.D. --- As told, Hikari set her buckets down and returned to her seat. As soon as she regained it, the five breathed a collective sigh of relief. When they did, the unfortunate classmate who had become Asuka's inadvertant target moaned softly. "Now, getting back to today's lesson..." the teacher continued, "In late 2000, the full effects of the Second Impact were..." Shinji typed to Kensuke. Shinji involuntarily stiffened at his keyboard. came the answer from another computer. 'Rei?' Kensuke thought. 'What the hell...?' He quickly forwarded the message to Shinji. Across the Intra-class network, other messages were being exchanged. When Asuka received the message, she had to try her hardest not to burst out laughing. As she did, Hikari sent another message to Shinji. ------------------------------------ "This _sucks_!" Asuka yelled, fist hitting the desk as she glared at Shinji. "You forgot to make our lunches again, idiot Shinji!" "Yes, well... I didn't really have the time to today..." Shinji muttered, shrinking under Asuka's accusations. "And _that's_ your excuse? Just because you had to walk your dog... er... doll back to its apartment to get its clothes..." Asuka growled softly. Fear left Shinji's eyes, replaced by annoyance. "Listen; 'she' Asuka, not 'it'. And 'she' is Rei, not a doll." "_Now_ who's on the strings?" Asuka flashed an evil grin toward Shinji. Shinji's eyes narrowed. "And just what does that mean exactly?" "I'll let you figure it out, idiot Shinji. Consider it payment search of Hikari in an attempt to bum some lunch from her, leaving Shinji alone with her insinuations. Shinji's hand was clenching and unclenching in repetitive succession, involuntarily. He muttered under his breath, his voice low, angered. "Why does she have to do that? I... hate it." "Probably because she can't bring herself to admit that she really likes you, Shinji," Kensuke intoned mysteriously, appearing at his side, a serious expression upon his face as he watched after Asuka. "It's a fatal character flaw." Shinji's eyes flew open, slowly turning his head to face Kensuke. "Wh... what?" Shinji was stunned. "You heard me, Shinji Ikari. She likes you." He couldn't help but drop into a grin. "She just can't admit it because she'd have to drop all those defenses to do it." He chuckled to himself. 'I'm so sorry.' "I... that is... Oh God..." He gasped, burying his head into his hands, into his desk, moaning. "I didn't ask for this. Honestly, I _didn't_ ask for this..." His voice was straining. "You sound... like you don't want her to like you," Kensuke commented quietly. "Maybe I don't. I don't know anymore. Ever since ... then... you know? Everything's been different... everything's changed. Before was hard enough, but now..." He looked as if he were on the verge of tears. His voice betrayed the fact that he was. Kensuke could only sigh quietly. "Let's go over it. I won't say anything to hurt you," he stated as he sat down in his desk behind Shinji's, placing his hands folded on the desk, leaning forward slightly as if in conspiratorial whisper. Shinji slowly turned around to face him, slouching so that his head rested on the desktop, covered by his arms. "Shinji, are you happy with what's happening between you and Rei?" Shinji nodded softly, moving to sit up. "That's good. It's nice... to find someone that you care about in that way... that you want to keep safe, to be with, to bring happiness to. This is what you have, right? Another nod. "And does she feel the same?" "Yes." Kensuke smiled warmly. "Then, that's nothing to be sad about, right?" "But everything else..." Shinji stuttered, "everything else is going so... _wrong_..." "Change is a part of life. And just because you're having problems now doesn't mean they'll always be there. It's up to you to live out the situation as you see fit. Just get your priorities straight." "You sound just like Rei-chan," Shinji commented, forcing a weak smile. "As long as you don't kiss me, I'll take that as a compliment," Kensuke declared, smiling. Shinji broke down into fierce laughter. "I said _sound_ like, Kensuke, not _look_ like!" His face was reddening from laughing so hard. "Laughing is good for the heart and good for the soul. Sometimes, you just have to relax." Shinji was laughing rather than relaxing, though perhaps it was relaxation he found within that laughter. "So, relax, and then think what your options are. We'll deal with this one. For example, is leaving Rei an option?" "Most certainly _not_," Shinji declared firmly, snapping out of his laughing fit. "And why?" "Because, I care about her... and she about me." "That strongly?" "That strongly," Shinji replied with a nod. "All right then," Kensuke affirmed, smiling. He raised a hand, one finger extended. Another finger followed a moment later. "Now, how about Asuka. How do you feel about her?" "That... depends. Sometimes she's actually nice to be around... other times I find myself one step from strangling her myself." "But, how do you see yourself with her? What does she mean to you?" "I... she's a friend... and of course she means something." The battle against Sandalphon the Eighth Angel flew through his mind, his reaching into the fiery volcano to keep Unit Two from destruction. He quickly shook his head. "But not like _that_... not like Rei." "What you want is to be friends with Asuka?" "If it's possible... but every time I try..." Shinji's words trailed away. "That's because it's Asuka," Kensuke stated. He spoke seriously, speaking the truth, rather than a verbal barb against the redhead. "That's the way she is. That isn't something that can change easily. You'll just have to try hard, or let things run their course and see how they go." "You're right, of course," Shinji admitted, smiling softly. Kensuke nodded. "Of course!" he beamed proudly. He quickly switched into a more serious state. "Now, something I recommended earlier to the others..." "That being?" Kensuke beckoned him closer. Shinji was obedient. "Well, you can always try getting Rei and Asuka to..." "To what?" Shinji asked hopefully. "Take them both to bed with you! Then you can all become real good friends!" Kensuke had a huge grin on his face. Shinji's face fell flat on the desk, sighing deeply, eyes resting on the floor. "Kensuke, you're about to get kicked." "I'm sorry Shinji," Kensuke chuckled. "I didn't mean anything by it." "Not by me, actually..." Shinji mused. "Eh?" Kensuke felt someone tapping him softly on the shoulder. He slowly tilted his head backward, looking upward to meet Rei's straight gaze. He felt himself beginning to sweat. "Oh, ummm... hello?" "Hello," she stated quietly, voice parked in the range of a single tone. She raised her arms above her as she stretched, then dropped them softly at her sides, continuing in the same dialect. "Are you bothering Shin-chan?" "Who, me? I'm not bothering you, am I Shinji?" he asked nervously, forcing a smile, sitting up straight. "Depends. You were going pretty good until that last comment." Rei glared at Kensuke as she moved to stand beside the desk, causing the boy to shrink down into the seat, his body half concealed underneath the desk. "Okay, okay. I'll take it back. Let me rephrase it. If it were me, _then_ I would..." He stopped short as both Rei and Shinji narrowed their eyes, the faces of the two looming closer to him. He gulped. "No, that doesn't work either, does it?" "No," Shinji replied flatly. Rei's stare deepened. "I prefer to be alone when I am with Shin-chan, Aida-kun." 'I'm sure there are reasons for that.' "Be that the case, then," he replied, flashing a smile to mask his total, utter, concentrated fear. "_I_ certainly don't want him." "I do not think... Shin-chan does either." "Well, since that's settled... I do need to get back to my computer. It gets lonely too, you see," he commented with a deviant grin, pulling his red laptop up off the ground and turning it on, clacking upon the keys before it even had a chance to boot, and before any response could be given. "But I'm not lonely," Rei stated quietly to Shinji. "I don't think that's what he meant, Rei-chan." Rei gazed into Shinji's eyes for a moment. "I see." She turned her head to face Kensuke again. "One foot. Now." Kensuke gulped. "Kensuke, don't," Shinji said softly. "He is right. I am sorry Aida-kun. Do you mean then that you think about your computer in that way?" She spoke with true innocence and intrigue in her voice. It was impossible to tell whether or not she was making an attempt at humour, or if she actually meant the question as it was. It was enough to merit a suppressed laugh from Shinji. "No, I meant that if you don't pay constant attention to it, something always manages to go wrong. It's bound to happen." 'Does that affect reality?' Rei thought to herself. "I see." "Well, I'm back to my work." With that, Kensuke did return to his work, his laptop fully booted and already bending to Kensuke's will. "You have to take Kensuke with a grain of salt... no, make that a pound. You'll get used to him after a while," Shinji explained to Rei as the fierce clacking sounded in the background. Rei quietly walked to the desk in front of Shinji, leaning halfway over the desk once she was seated. "Is that supposed to be comforting?" She smiled lightly. "Don't answer." Shinji couldn't keep a smile from his lips if he had wanted to. "A smile suits you, Rei-chan. Just try not to be so over-protective of me, especially with Kensuke. He means well, if nothing else." He grinned strongly as he shook his head, reveling in his own phrasing of the truth. "I'll let him know when he needs a foot in his mouth from now on, 'k?" "All right," Rei replied, a light blush twinging her cheeks. "A smile suits me. You said that yesterday. I find that I want to when I'm with you." "It's a pleasing sight," he smiled, then leaned in closer to Rei, whispering. "And honestly, don't dare tell Kensuke I said this, but so is the rest of you." 'Well... it's true, I can't deny that.' Rei's blush darkened. "You said that too. It's... interesting. Even if you are nervous," she replied softly, grinning faintly. 'I... enjoy, hearing that from him.' "Perhaps I did," he chuckled. "But, as the old saying goes, 'Truth bears repeating.'" Rei slid a hand over one of Shinji's on his desktop, blushing lightly. "Is that all about me you find pleasing?" "_You_ are pleasing. I can't put it any simpler way and keep it true." He smiled, though he himself was blushing. 'It... feels good to tell her these things.' "Then, good," Rei asserted. "Shin-chan?" "Yes?" "So are you." "I'm glad that you think so," he replied, blushing lightly. "To become one with someone who didn't feel the same wouldn't be right." "What the _HELL_ was _THAT_?!" Asuka bellowed. Apparently she had overheard that comment while 'passing by'. "Yes, that's true," Rei acknowledged, oblivious to Asuka. "I'm happy, for us, Shin-chan." She smiled lightly. "What the hell are two fifteen year olds doing talking about having sex?!" Asuka shouted loudly, stirring up the class. "Becoming one my ass!" Around her, the hooting, hollering, and gasping of the students immediately filled the air, directed toward the young couple in question. Shinji's face reddened entirely, eyes wide, staring down at the desk in stunned manner. Rei herself blinked, blushing softly, which only added fuel to the attention they were receiving. All the while, Asuka smirked confidently. 'Heh... seems like I've beaten out Touji for that little husband/wife comment. Let's see how these two handle themselves _now_.' Kensuke snapped up from his computer terminal, eyes fixed on Asuka. "Jealous Asuka?" he declared high above the sounds of the class's obsession. Everyone fell silent. "See what I mean, Rei?" Shinji whispered quietly, the blush leaving his face, a feeling of relief spreading over him. "He's not so bad." "...You're... right, Shin-chan." "No, it's just completely disgusting!" Asuka countered, all attention now focussed on herself and Kensuke, battling it out in a contest of verbal prowess. "What's so disgusting?" Kensuke asked innocently. "What do you think, dummkopf?! _Them_!" She pointed at the two students sitting in front of him. She was soon surprised by the sound of another voice filling the room. Rei's. "Why are you obsessed with sex, Pilot Soryuu? Do you think that's what we're talking about?" "As if that wasn't _obvious_," Asuka affirmed. "What the hell else could you mean by 'becoming one with him'? It's not like you two are whispering over there, you know!" A few murmurs among the students followed, but nothing more. Rei paid her no heed, talking to Shinji. "Why does she believe that that's what I mean?" "I live under the same roof as she does, and _I_ don't know. You know, Kensuke?" Shinji asked, turning his head backward. Kensuke merely shrugged. "I guess no one knows then." A grin touched upon his lips. "Hey Asuka! Do you even have any idea what you're talking about?" Asuka noticed many sets of eyes beginning to fall upon her. She quickly shook a fist in the air. "Don't twist this around!" "Maybe she just really wants to talk about it," Kensuke commented snidely. "Talk to her about it, then. Rei-chan and I are having a private conversation over here." Shinji grinned. "I'm sure you two can find common ground, Kensuke-kun." "That's harsh, Shinji..." Kensuke replied, grinning fiercely, gazing slightly at Asuka to add effect. "Is that all, Pilot Soryuu?" Rei intoned quietly. "Of course not," Asuka retorted, attempting to save face with a wicked grin. "I'm just saving something for later, that's all." "Then please take your oversexed-self somewhere else," Rei stated softly, turning back to Shinji. Asuka instantly found herself the center of unwanted attention; the target of cat calls, whistling, and general laughter. Her face reddened out of anger and embarrassment. "Hure!" she yelled loudly, her insult lost in the language barrier. She whirled around, walking away from the embarrassment to rejoin Hikari, her Haven of revenge shattered. Shinji blinked. "Very impressive, Rei-chan." Rei nodded softly. "...Thank you. You too, Shin-chan." "Not being bothered by her will be an asset," Shinji chuckled. "...Aida-kun?" Rei asked quietly, turning to face him. Kensuke popped his head up from his computer, having already gone back to his trance after Asuka had departed. "Yes?" "A... Arigatou," Rei managed, smiling slightly. "My pleasure, Ayanami-chan," he replied with a smile, returning to his work but a moment later. 'Well, that's one war out of the way... maybe...' Shinji thought quietly. His thoughts were soon interrupted by a soft female voice. "Shin-chan?" "Yes, Rei-chan?" Rei beckoned him to lean forward, which he complied with, leaning halfway over his desk. Rei leaned forward, placing her mouth near his ear, whispering softly, "That is only part of it." Shinji turned bright red. 'I'm blushing... because I know she's right? Or because... I want the rest of it?' Kensuke, meanwhile, wisely kept his mouth shut as he peered upward, continuing to type furiously at his keyboard, a simple detail as watching what he was doing unnecessary for someone of his excessive prowess. Rei kissed him lightly on the cheek and pushed him gently backward into his seat. "Thank you, Rei-chan," he said with a smile. "Of course, Shin-chan," she replied, smiling lightly. "Our plans for this afternoon still stand, correct." "Of course, Shin-chan." 'Plans?' Though he could prevent himself from interrupting, Kensuke could not prevent himself from eavesdropping. "Comforting, Shin-chan." Rei slid a hand delicately on top of one of Shinji's, resting them on his desktop. "Comforting." "You are, Rei-chan. You are." "I find in you what you find in me." "It's what we truly needed, I believe." "It's not a belief. It's truth, and truth is... pleasant." "Not all truth is pleasant, but this truth is." "Yes, it is," Rei agreed softly, leaning forward. Shinji brought a hand to her cheek, caressing it softly, carefully. "Only because we choose it to be so, Rei-chan." "I'm... happy, we made this choice." "Yes." He smiled. Off to the side, Kensuke was muttering under his breath, a bead of sweat slipping down his face. "This a little too sweet for my taste..." He smiled nonetheless. "But I'm still happy for them." 'Though... if this is as far along as I think it is... I'll have to drop a bug on Shinji.' A large grin replaced the smile as he returned to his work. Visible from the other side of the room, Asuka stood next to Hikari, back against the wall; her blue flames filled with pure loathing. "Asuka? Snap out of it Asuka," Hikari called, waving her hand in front of her friend's face. "Oh, the hell with those two anyway." 'I think she needs something else to think about...' Hikari determined. "Hey, Asuka?" "Yeah, what?" came the uninspired response. "Want to go to the mall after school?" "I don't really feel like it, Ekari..." She slurred Hikari's name, voice dropping off into depression. "Something with less people, maybe." "Well, why not come over to my place? It's that or clean the class." Asuka's head whipped up. "Your place'll be fine." Hikari snickered quietly. "Thought so." Asuka quietly settled down into the nearest desk, glaring daggers at Shinji and Rei, and if it were possible, would have been throwing them with perfect aim. Hikari sighed softly to herself, speaking softly under her breath. "I think she needs to use that student as an outlet again..." She looked to the object of Asuka's dark intentions, watching as Shinji's face reddened considerably, Rei with a small smile upon her face. Asuka's gaze was growing considerably darker. "Now would be good..." Asuka brought her fist fiercely down upon the desktop, managing to splinter the wood. Hikari coughed. "So Asuka, want to do something?" she asked, intending to bring Asuka's train of thought to another item. "Like what?" she stated, glaring darkly at Hikari. 'Non-violent hopefully,' Hikari prayed within her mind. "Well... talk." "About what?" "I don't know..." she said as she took a seat beside Asuka, blocking her view from Shinji and Rei in the process. "Something you want to do." "I'm not in a talking mood." "All right," Hikari conceded, sighing dejectedly. 'Best not to strain her limits right now.' Asuka in the meantime had started to mutter an incoherent string of Japanese and German curses, smirking the while. 'Better that, at least.' "Hikari... I wouldn't sit there." 'I'm worried about her...' She stood up, backing away into a desk behind Asuka. 'We'll talk later.' ------------------------------------ The buzzes and bleeps of Command and Control filled the gigantic room. The various monitors and topographical maps showed an absolute absence of outside activity in the native regions. Nonetheless, the majority of the technicians and officers in the Centre were at work, monitoring the situation outside for any possible changes, the detection of Angels. "This is how you'd spend your break in times like this?" Misato asked. "Better than trying to find a working snack machine in this place," Shigeru commented as he continued to play his air guitar. "Much less a drink dispenser," Makoto noted, looking up briefly from the manga he was reading. Maya meanwhile was tapping furiously on her keyboard, speech broken with heavy breathing. "Need... caffeine..." Misato sighed absently. "You three are a practical comic troop. Nothing's stopping you from going, Ibuki." She sipped her coffee as if to complement Maya's desire. "Is so. I've got Doctor Akagi's workload for the day on top of mine..." She grimaced as the keys continued to clatter under her fingertips. "Need caffeine..." "Katsuragi-san," Makoto said as he set down his manga, saving the page with a piece of paper, "you never told us _why_ Akagi-san isn't here today." "She... wasn't feeling well," Misato commented, trying to pass off the question. "Oops..." "What?" Misato turned toward Shigeru. "Nothing, ma'am. Just plucked the wrong string." "But you're not holding a real guitar." "But how will I ever learn if I don't get it right? I know exactly where everything is _supposed_ to be," he explained with a lopsided smile. Misato sighed. "Keep practicing." "It seems strange for Akagi-senpai not to show up because she's not feeling well," Maya commented, picking up the conversation string once more. "I've seen her come in on days where she looked like she was going to die, even if it wasn't very often." She coughed hoarsely. "Hyuuga-kun? Could you please get me some coffee?" "Yeah, I need some too, Aoba-kun." Makoto grinned darkly in his attempt to delegate to Shigeru." Shigeru nodded absently as he got up, immersed in his skill of playing the air guitar. Makoto laughed softly to himself. "I can't believe that worked." "Well, she's probably never been quite this bad before," Misato replied, again in fashion to end the topic. "How bad is bad?" Maya asked. "Erm..." Misato coughed. "You could say that last night was just a little too much for her." "Why, what happened?" Maya and Makoto were in perfect synchronization now. 'Wonderful.' "Hmmm? Oh, she just came over last night to check up on Shinji, stayed for supper along with Asuka and Rei... food probably didn't agree with her. I cooked after all." "That _would_ explain it, wouldn't it?" Makoto replied, snickering. "Hmmph! Well, see if I ever invite you over for dinner!" "Okay, okay, I take it back!" He was blushing visibly. Part of the statement struck Maya. "...Ummm... _Rei_? As in Rei Ayanami? If I might intrude for a moment, Major Katsuragi, what was she doing at _your_ apartment?" Shigeru had chosen that moment to walk back through the doorway holding three cups of coffee. "Did I miss something?" "No!" was Maya's and Misato's reply, perfectly timed with Makoto's resounding "Yes!" Shigeru handed out a cup of coffee to the other two operators, sitting down with his own. "Well speak up. I hate missing out on good conversation." "Actually, she was just invited over for dinner. No big deal." Misato took an abnormally large sip of her coffee. Maya quietly leaned toward Makoto and began whispering. "He'll be obliviously playing his 'guitar' in ten seconds. Nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... three..." "Two... one... zero," Makoto finished. Shigeru shrugged and went back to plucking invisible guitar strings. "Oh, is _that_ all?" Maya asked, sitting up straight once more. "Yeah, that's all," Misato replied, somewhat huskily. "What of it?" "You don't sound very convincing Major," Makoto replied. "Oh, is that so?" Maya sipped her coffee graciously. "Actually, yes." Meanwhile, Shigeru had taken to humming along to an invisible tune as he pulled the 'strings'. "HmmHmHmmmmm..." "Well, just because the two of you... oh, Hyuuga... be a dear and get me some coffee..." Misato looked down at her half-empty cup. "I'm all out." "Sure Major," Makoto replied, walking over to her to take her cup. stopping short as he took it from her and peered into it. "Hey, waidaminute! This's half full!" "Take a hint, Hyuuga-kun. It's half empty, and I _need_more_." Maya sweated lightly. Makoto blinked, then grinned lightly. "Oh Aoba-kun? Katsuragi-san just ordered you to get her some coffee." Shigeru had started humming the theme to 'Angel Attack' and apparently was unaware of anyone else's existence. "I'm sorry Katsuragi-san, but I'm not on duty, so..." Makoto flashed a grin. "Unless of course you'd like to continue." Misato rolled her eyes in dismay, then brightened suddenly. "That depends on what you want to continue, Makoto-chan." She grinned deviously. "Now get my coffee." Makoto's eyes widened slightly. He quickly took the cup, saluting. "Yes ma'am." He quickly walked away, blushing furiously. "Now then," Misato voiced sternly as she turned to Maya. "We both know why you're worried about Ritsuko. You don't ask questions and neither do I, and _that_ will be the way it stays. Got it, _Lieutenant_?" "...I don't understand," came the genuinely confused reply. "Oh, don't play innocent with me..." She gave Maya a dark look. "I'm not." "So you say." Maya narrowed her eyebrows, speaking strongly herself. "Major, I don't know what you're talking about. Why are you acting like this?" "Oh, just a few things Ritsuko managed to drop last night." "What do you mean 'dropped'? Major, would you please just come out with whatever it is you have to say?" "Simply put, she was reacting harshly to insinuations of the two of you..." She coughed. "Together." Maya's eyes shot open. "She _what_?!" "So, there's truth to this then." "Here's your coffee, Major," Makoto said as he walked back into the room. "Get me another cup," Misato snapped. "_NOW_!" Makoto shrunk back, slinking off again. "Yes ma'am..." "There is _not_!" Maya exclaimed quietly after Makoto was out of hearing distance. "You sound like Ritsuko. Then what exactly _is_ going on?" "Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all." Her visual expression betrayed the obvious strain to keep a straight face. Misato's eyes narrowed, her words beginning to sting like nails upon a blackboard. "Now that's a total lie. Understand that I'm asking you this to find the reason for a medical condition concerning a NERV officer, and I can have you court martialed for withholding information." Maya shrunk visibly once Misato had finished her tirade. It took her a few moments before she could reply, and even then her voice was soft and minuscule. "We're..." "..." Maya regained some strength, but spoke as if feeling some minor regret. "We're... not much. I guess we've thought about it... but it hasn't really gone anywhere, I swear it." Misato looked at the slightly saddened expression on Maya's face. Her own eyes softened afterward, just as her voice. "...I believe you." "But what _is_ wrong with her, Major?" Maya asked as her voice regained its former tone. Makoto returned to the room, holding a tray filled with coffee cups, a pot of coffee, milk, and sugar. "There. I'm not going anywhere now." He sat down with a slight frown. "Thank you, Hyuuga-chan. I appreciate it." Makoto nodded, caught on something else. 'Chan...' "Katsuragi-san?" "Yes Ibuki? "About Doctor Akagi?" "And you never answered before about Rei," Makoto reminded. "About Rei?" Misato remarked absentmindedly. "Hmmm? Oh, Maya, Ritsuko'll be fine. She just... had a little too much to drink." "Too much to drink?" Maya replied, seemingly stunned. "Doctor Akagi?" Misato nodded wearily. "I think... she and the Commander... had a disagreement of some sort." Maya nodded silently, looking at the floor. "And in addition to this...?" "What, Hyuuga-kun?" Misato asked dully. Makoto huffed impatiently. "Is there any reason why you keep avoiding my question?" "Question? ...Oh, about Rei. What about her?" "You said earlier Rei was invited over for dinner. That doesn't explain much, and I think you know why, given her general behaviour. We'd just like to know why you invited her." He smiled lightly. "When it concerns the Children, it matters to us." "It wasn't my call for once," Misato replied smiling. "_Shinji_ invited her over." Maya was stunned for a second time. "Shinji? Shinji Ikari?" You're good at remembering names I see," Makoto remarked off-hand. "But, she's right Major. Shinji?" "It surprised me too. But still, he did." "Damn," Shigeru muttered. "What?" Maya asked. He turned around. "I just pulled every guitar string." 'Which means he's actually paying attention now,' Maya thought. "That's..." Makoto blinked. "Nice, actually." "Maybe, but... why? Kind of out of the blue, isn't it?" Maya remarked. "What, you think _I_ could explain it?" Misato asked, picking up her fully-filled coffee cup and sipping from it. "If you want answers about this one, you're going to have to ask _him_, because I have none to give." 'As much as I wish I did.' Maya was taken aback slightly. "Kind of harsh, aren't you?" She chuckled despite herself. "You'd think you were his mother." Misato blushed heavily under the combined laughter of the three operators. "Well, I... er... that is. I guess I am, in a way... the only one he has." Maya smiled. "It must be interesting." "Oh, believe me... you have no idea..." "Ah! I got it!" "Got what, Hyuuga-kun?" Maya and Misato simultaneously replied. "I know why he invited her over." "Okay..." "Why?" "Simple," he began, smiling proudly. "He wants to be around someone who's like him." "Well... I---" Maya quickly cut Misato off. "It makes _perfect_ sense, Hyuuga-kun." "Thank you." He gave Misato a confused look. "Did I say something wrong?" "No, Hyuuga-kun... you're probably right. I guess it's just a realization I've been trying to avoid..." "Well, it's true. They're both quiet, I know Shinji hasn't had much in the way of a family, and Rei lives by herself... so, he just wants to have a friend, that's all." He reflected upon his own statement. "Actually, I guess Rei feels the same if she actually accepted. That's kind of interesting." Misato chuckled. "Certainly makes enough sense." "There you go, then." He smiled as a soft look began to flow through his eyes. "I wonder if that could ever develop into anything..." "You read too many manga Hyuuga-kun," Shigeru grinned, rolling his eyes as he spoke. "But still..." Misato smiled nervously. "And what would the _Commander_ say?" Maya put forward. "It isn't any secret that he's protective of Rei..." Makoto leaned over speaking in a lower tone to Maya. "Wouldn't really be his business, would it?" "Does anyone even know _why_ he's like that?" Shigeru asked. "Nope." "No." "Nuh uh." "Do you, Shigeru-kun?" Makoto asked. Shigeru motioned for the others to come a bit closer. He spoke quietly, but his tone was both serious and grim. "Maybe... he's a pedophile." The other three conspirators began to sweat. Shigeru shrugged his shoulders, his eyes closed. "No, probably not. This _is_ the Commander." "That's exactly why I would be worried," Misato choked. "Yeah I guess, but---" Makoto stopped short. He spoke quietly to himself, unable to comprehend Misato's words. "Why I would be worried..." He quickly looked up at the Major. "What is there to worry about? Are we missing something?" Misato's gaze fell to another direction. "Katsuragi-san, what are we missing?" Makoto stated flatly, his eyebrows furrowing. "Reruns, Hyuuga-kun," she replied jokingly. "Katsuragi-san?" Maya was mimicking Makoto. Misato took a _DEEP_ breath. 'I've lost.' "They were... together... last night... Shinji and Rei." A simultaneous blink ensued. Makoto took off his glasses, looking the least surprised of the three operators, and apparently the only one daring to press the issue any further. "Together? As in, the same house together? The same room together?" "Apartment complex. Floor. Apartment. Room. ...Bed." Maya's eyes widened to their limit, her hand immediately becoming limp, coffee cup shattering into multiple fragments on the floor. Shigeru had sprayed his coffee on the floor, hacking coughs ensuing. Makoto calmly put his glasses back on, though his voice had risen a few decibels. "Erm... well, that's..." He stopped for a half-minute, unmoving. His voice had dropped to a much lower tone. "I can't reply on that." His eyebrows raised and lowered as he continued to attempt to process Misato's statement. "I can't think of anything to say." "Neither could I." Misato shook her head in dismay. "How did that happen?" Maya asked, barely audible. "I have no idea. I was too busy tending to Ritsuko." Shigeru shook his head. "I can not see it. I'd try, but... I can't see that happening." "Ritsuko?" Maya's gaze fell to the floor, her voice softening further. "There was a reason for that drinking, wasn't there?" "Apparently I left something out here," Misato declared flatly. "I bugged their room. They _didn't_ have sex." That only served to distort Makoto's complexion. "You did _what_?! That's not right, Katsuragi-san." "Did you leave the speaker on all night to check?" Apparently, Shigeru had no qualms with Misato's methods. "I left it on until they fell asleep. That's all you need to know." Her head whirled around to face Makoto. "And if you think it's so wrong, Hyuuga-kun... you should've heard Rei's suggestion." "Which was?" "A video camera." "Sounds more like she didn't want you to be taping _them_. More of a trust thing." His face distorted again. "Why do you have video cameras for that kind of thing?" "The playback with a ... significant other... gets rather interesting, Makoto-chan," she chided teasingly, winking almost malevolently. "Isn't that right, Maya-chan?" Makoto blushed brightly. "Then why didn't you let them have it? Afraid they'd be tempted to do the same?" "Because I don't _have_ a video camera! The nearest one probably belongs to Shinji's classmate Kensuke Aida.... and I have no clue where he would've been." Her eyes suddenly widened. "Oh... oh my." She quickly shook her head. "No, that's crazy." "Have you lost site of the situation?" Maya demanded, sounding almost frustrated. A booming voice from far above answered for her. "No." Four shocked heads whipped around to look up. Supreme Commander Gendou Ikari was staring down at them with his cool gaze. "Major Katsuragi?" Gendou stated in his deep voice and calm demeanor. "Yes sir?" Misato's voice was pathetically weak in comparison, even though the obvious effort to maintain its strength was present. "I would like you to see you, in my office. Immediately." "Yes sir." Misato had lost out to meekness. The three operators collectively sweatdropped. The Supreme Commander turned around and walked out of sight of the four, his footsteps echoing despite the level of noise in Command and Control. Misato stiffly walked to a small transport elevator near the large outstretch which had just prior served as Gendou's podium. A few key presses allowed Misato the departure from the current level of the Centre, her last glimpse of it being the three operators watching her worriedly. It descended swiftly and silently until it came to rest in a dimly lit hallway. 'I...' She walked stiffly toward a distant door, that which would open into the Supreme Commander's Office. Each step was equivalent to walking on eggshells. 'How can she call that office a cubbyhole? It's intimidating... like him.' Misato at last arrived at the plain, common door, which lay opened. Silently she stepped through the portal, closing it behind her. Misato froze in position as she turned around. Far in the distance was a large darkened mass; two humanoid figures, one seated behind a large desk, the other standing behind it. The red ceiling and marble blue floor seemed to pulse with a dim light, the windows pulsing a soft dim yellow. The designs etched up above seemed to pulse a light in the same manner, complementing the others. The only other illumination was from Gendou's glasses; bright white in the darkness. "Enter, Major Katsuragi." Misato vainly attempted to hold her head high as she slowly closed on Gendou's desk, fingers twitching nervously as she did so. She stopped once she stood a mere couple of meters from it. Enough illumination was present to be able to detail the two figures in front of her, NERV's Supreme Commander, Gendou Ikari, and NERV's Subordinate Commander, Kouzou Fuyutsuki. "Were you enjoying your conversation Major?" Gendou asked in his general monotonous tone. "Partially, sir." "Hmmm..." "Major, would you please expand on your conversation?" Kouzou asked in serious tone, the question being more of an order. "Which part... sir?" she intoned nervously. "Many of them. To begin with, last night concerning Doctor Akagi." "She apparently had a bad day at the office, sir," she replied, regaining her composure. "That, and took too much liquor." "Only resulting from a bad day?" "More like a bad life. After knowing her for... what was it... ten years?... I wouldn't put it past her." "Is there anything you are leaving out Major?" Gendou questioned, at last controlling the interrogation. "Yes sir. My professional opinion is that this situation was due to overt pressures and situations unduly placed upon a brilliant scientist by her own volition." She finished with a weak smile. 'Volition. Ritsu'd be proud of that one.' "Interesting," Gendou replied dully. Misato sighed lightly. "You realize that rephrasing your responses makes no difference to me." "If there _was_ anything else, you could always put me to the question." She grimaced slightly. "Very well," Kouzou uttered, reassuming control. "Point two, Major. You specifically mentioned that the First Children was with you last night, is this correct?" "Yes sir. Rei Ayanami _was_ at my apartment yesterday evening." "It is also correct to say that she arrived under invitation of the Third Children?" Misato nodded slowly. "It is... Sir, if I may, what is the point of this line of inqui---" "You may question later," Gendou replied, cutting her off. "For now, ours are the questions and yours are the answers. It will remain that way until _I_ say otherwise." Misato promptly shut up. "What was the purpose of this visit?" the Supreme Commander demanded, continuing in monotonous tone. "I am not privy to that information, sir. If you wish the answer to that, the logical course of action would be to ask your son. _He_ extended the invitation, after all." "Fair enough," he replied, his voice slipping into an oddly calm demeanor, one which only served to increase Misato's nervousness. "Point three," Kouzou enunciated. "To cite you Major, 'Together last night, Shinji and Rei'. Elaborate." "It was a private conversation, sir. Again, I am not privy to the details of the exchange, though I do have means to, were it required." Gendou stood up from his desk. "Do not bullshit me _Major_ Katsuragi." "I can not account for what I did not see, sir," she responded. seemingly shocked. 'Though that doesn't mean I can't account for it all... God, PLEASE let him fall for this one. If I have _anything_ good in me, _please_ let this work...' "Apartment complex. Floor. Apartment. Room. Bed. Were those not your exact words?" "Damn me and my big mouth..." she muttered silently. "I can't deny it." Gendou sat down once more, clasping his hands in front of his face. "A dictation of last night's events as they occurred, from the moment Doctor Akagi arrived. Summarize, briefly." "Very well, sir." She began to rattle off her response in monotone as she forced herself to recall the important details of the evening. "Ritsuko Akagi arrived. Shinji got the door. We talked at length about life, and the events surrounding Shinji approximately one month distant. Rei Ayanami arrived. Ritsuko and I had... an argument, during which Shinji and Rei retreated to Shinji's room... not without good cause. The two returned and stopped the fight. Asuka Langley Soryuu arrived. Ritsuko and I exchanged words again, at which point she lapsed into a depressed state. Rei and Shinji retired to Shinji's room scene. Shinji had apparently slapped Asuka, who had apparently slapped Rei, who was nude. The source dictates that Asuka had begun her assault without just cause. I resolved the conflict, and made the decision that Rei could remain in the house for the night, in response to her request of the same. That is all, _sir_." She finished with a tone similar to that of a soldier in the army addressing an admiral. Gendou adjusted his glasses with the forefinger of his left hand. "You will give me a written report detailing the entire evening from your perspective, fully detailed. Is that understood?" "Y-yes sir." Gendou's eyes narrowed behind his darkened lenses. "Now, you allowed Rei to sleep with him in her condition for the entire night?" "_Medical_ condition, sir?" she queried half-hopefully. Gendou's eyes continued to narrow. Misato glared back at him after the silence, her attitude of fighting for her honorable causes having arisen. "Yes sir, _I_ did." "For what purpose?" "Because in this God-forsaken world you're driving, at least someone deserves some warmth and caring." Gendou stood up, staring into the Major. His glare was equally returned by the dead-set Misato. Gendou smirked. Misato jerked back, thoroughly confused. "Warmth and caring, Major?" he asked, still smirking. "Human emotions, Commander," she retorted, giving him a jerky grin. 'I think I've learned something from Rei today.' Gendou glared at her. "Do not mistake me for an emotionless bastard Major." "Certainly not, sir," she replied, her words laced with sarcasm though none was to be found in her voice. "Emotionless bastards don't have loving wives. Cold-hearted, egotistic, anal-retentive bastards, maybe, but not emotionless. Sir." Gendou's glare intensified. "Do not tread upon grounds such as those. You are lucky enough that you are being permitted to speak in this manner." "Duly noted, _sir_." "Tell me Major, what is your overall view on their... situation?" "They are... I don't think that there's any good way to describe it, really. It hasn't reached a heavily intimate level, to the best of my knowledge. Just that they share a ... a closeness, which transcends everything stood against them thus far. Put simply, they care strongly done to stop that." "Well put, Major," Kouzou replied softly from the background. "That is my assessment, sir." The Sub Commander merely chuckled softly. The Supreme Commander glanced backward at his compatriot for but a moment, returning his attention to Misato, his tone darkening perceptibly. "And the Second?" "Is mentally unacceptable of that relationship, to the point of possible violence." "There are more implications than you realize Major," he replied lightly. "I do not understand, sir. What implications?" Misato was now truly at a loss. "That is not your concern at this point." "As the legally-appointed guardian of both Shinji Ikari and Asuka Soryuu, it _becomes_ my concern, _sir_." Gendou's gaze fell down to his desk, then returned itself to Misato's hardened visage. "I said this is _not_ your concern. When it it, you will be informed. Do you understand?" "It becomes my concern when there is a threat to the safety and security of either the Children, _or_ the operations of NERV," she stated darkly, nearly spitting out the words. "This case is both." She turned her glare on Kouzou to add effect to her words, directing it right back at Gendou but a moment later. Action suddenly struck a new level as Gendou pulled open the drawer embedded in his desk, pulled out a small handgun and aimed single-handedly at Misato. "It affects neither." Misato's eyes widened for an instant as she stared down the barrel of the gun, then let her normal complexion return to her face as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a pen. "You're going to need this, sir. To do all your revisions to your precious little Scenario after your Director of Ops and two-thirds of your pilot corps disappear. Or is this just your own personal White Whale? _I_ am ending this meeting, _Commander_. What transpires of _that_ is your decision, but it won't be my hands that the blood of the entire human race is on. It'll be _yours_. And _you'll_ be the one who has to pull the trigger. No one else. _You_." She tossed the pen onto his desk and spun around, walking slowly for the door, expecting at any moment to have a bullet through her back. He fired. Misato stopped short in her tracks, glaring back with a mixture of fear and complete anger encompassing her facial features and shaking hands. The bullet had purposefully whizzed by the edge of her ear. Gendou dropped the gun on the desk in front of him. "I want your report by tomorrow morning Major. And only one revision needs to be made, if I deem it necessary." His eyes softened somewhat, though barely noticeable in the darkness. "There is more at stake than you realize. Do what you will, but just do it." He turned around. The conversation was closed. Misato turned again, marching toward the door, muttering softly to herself. "Good shot, but not good enough. _This_ wasn't part of his plan." She calmly exited the room, opening and shutting the door with but a simple gesture. "And just why did you let her live?" Kouzou questioned after the Major had made herself scarce from their presence. Gendou smirked once more. "She has become my revision." "I do not believe I understand this revision, Commander Ikari. She has, at the very least, managed to level your playing field, and if I may be so bold, I believe she has stolen some of your dragons while you were elsewhere concerned." "She knows far less than she realizes. She hasn't gotten the details from the Doctor yet. Her greatest error was letting slip that she knew. Otherwise, she may have stolen them all." "Were the Children part of your scenario?" "No." "Then we have another matter to attend to," Kouzou pronounced. "Unaccounted items from the Scrolls may occur, but knowingly leaving loose ends would be... unwise, to say the least. What is your plan?" "I do not believe Rei can be of use at the present moment." "Shall we prepare a replacement?" "No. We'll let it run its course... for now. As for the First and Third as a whole..." "That was one point on which I am certain Major Katsuragi was telling the truth. Breaking them apart, if it is even possible short of death itself, could entail disaster for the Scenario which we have put forth." "I have no desire in doing so." Kouzou blinked. "Sir, did I hear mistakenly? You have no desire to do so?" "On the contrary, I would rather felicitate it." "Sir? Perhaps I gather too much from what is not there, but is Rei not Yui, in a manner of speaking? Why would anyone consent to allowing that?" "...To begin with, she's not Yui." "Not precisely, you mean. However, that is for you to explain, if you wish. Though I won't say that the professor in me would like to know, the second question is of more interest professionally." "We can review genetic code afterward. As for your second question... I am not as cold-hearted as it may seem. You of all people should know that." "No, _she_ of all people would know that." His stern face melted into a soft smile. "I just happened to be along for the ride. And perhaps it will do them some good..." He began to muse aloud. "The First with notable emotion... it will be interesting." "Notable may be a bit strong of a word." "All granted time, of course. All granted time. Even I didn't become an old and gray monotone professor overnight." He chuckled in good humour. "Not to mention the fact that your son appears to be changing as well. This _certainly_ would not have transpired a few months ago." He smiled lightly at his friend. "Times change, and people are forced to change. That's the way it is." "My son..." Gendou's voice lowered a few notches. "Fuyutsuki-sensei?" "Yes, Ikari-shirei?" "Am I a fool?" Kouzou looked somewhat stunned. "For what?" "This entire project, and its impact on everyone else." "We are all no more and no less than what we are. Better to live as a fool and save mankind than to live as a genius and watch it die out utterly." "That's one view I suppose. Come." Kouzou nodded affirmatively. "We are going to Terminal Dogma." Kouzou nodded once more, unquestioning as he followed Gendou to the far end of the room, to a door separate of the one Misato had prior used to enter and exit the office, one which looked strongly to be part of the wall itself. "It is time to review some information." He quietly pressed a pattern into the various keys which lay embedded within a small panel on the wall, adjacent to the door. "Information, sir?" "To explain. That is what you wanted, is it not?" Kouzou's eyes lit up with childish fancy. "Indeed it is, though I assume it will prove very complicated if your wife's theory was involved." He grinned tightly. "As I said, it will not be a problem. At least, that will be one less thing to complicate matters." "As you say, then. I'll believe it when I can read it." Gendou's eyes suddenly narrowed as the door in front of them opened, revealing a small chamber, an elevator. "I neglected to mention something to the Major." "That being?" Kouzou questioned in confusion as he stepped in after Gendou, facing the office through the open portal. Gendou spoke as the elevator door began to close. "I am not a pedophile." Kouzou came as near to gales of laughter as a man of his years and former university professor turned saviour of the human race possibly could without doing so. ------------------------------------ "Come on, Hikari," Asuka muttered. "I _need_ to get out of here." She glared darkly at the backs of Shinji and Rei, who were across the room talking to Kensuke. "Let's go." "Coming Asuka," Hikari sighed. Asuka pushed her out of the room with one last angry glare at the three across the room, then followed in a huff. As the door closed behind Asuka, an exceptionally loud, amazed cry was heard from Kensuke Aida. Rei was standing still, watching him with a passive expression, per the usual, though Shinji looked to be able to flatten nails with his teeth. "Kensuke, don't look so surprised. My threat about the video camera still stands." "What if I just _lend_ it to you? You can keep the tape!" "You... are strange," Rei spoke softly. "Absolutely _not_. I can make sure no video store ever sells you a piece of camera equipment again," Shinji growled, lying through his teeth. "I have the classification in NERV to do that." Kensuke chuckled softly. "I've been through the documents already." 'I should've guessed...' Shinji thought. "Though Misato can." Kensuke suddenly turned very pale. "Kensuke, the threat of losing their shop permanently due to lack of existence after the next Angel battle would be enough. Evas do have AT Fields, after all." "I'll stock up ahead of time. Why don't you want to?" "This is a private matter, Kensuke Aida. It would not be... proper." "That, and there's nothing to use it for anyway. Unless you just love the sound of my voice that much," Shinji added with a grin and a laugh. "I'll tell you what..." Kensuke said, pulling his camera out. "Would you let me tape the two of you right now?" "What are you referring to?" Rei asked. "If it'll get you to shut the hell up..." Shinji said with a smile. "Good." Kensuke pulled Shinji along, placing him next to Rei. "Now... say something for the camera!" he encouraged, turning it on. "You start, Shinji." Shinji stared dumbly at the camera, saying nothing. "Come on now! Think of this as a memento!" "A memento of what?" Shinji asked. "Of being together," Kensuke said, turning off the camera. "As something you can look back to. A memory!" "I see. You may continue now." "Okay, try it again. Shinji, you start," Kensuke said, turning the camera back on. "This is life without Angels. And peaceful, too. Probably the only serene shot Kensuke has in his collection," Shinji said with a wide grin. "And wants," Rei added, smiling lightly and taking Shinji's hand. "It is different. How often it will happen... is a different explanation." "Perfect! You're a natural, Rei," Kensuke said. When Rei nodded agreement, he continued, "Now I think I'm gonna leave you two alone... since you already have plans. Later, Shinji." With those words, Kensuke flipped the camera off, and stalked away looking like he was having the time of his life. "It's interesting," Rei asserted once Kensuke had left. "What is?" "That he finds pleasure in this," Rei said, squeezing Shinji's hand softly. "He is concerned about you." "Every time I think I know Kensuke Aida," Shinji said, laughing softly, "he proves that there's more to him than I know. I thought he was just trying to make a nuisance of himself." Rei pulled Shinji slowly down the steps at the front of the school. "Does it give you pleasure to be his friend?" "Yes, it does. For all his antics, he really _can_ be helpful," Shinji replied. "Am I his friend?" Rei asked, turning them onto the sidewalk. "That's a question you would have to ask him... though I don't know if _anyone_ could give you a real answer." "Why?" "Because friendship isn't something that's easy to define in words. Just one of those things." "Then I will ask him," Rei stated, bringing a smile to Shinji's face. "Are we headed straight-away back to your place?" "Yes, unless there is something else that you would like to do first?" "I have nothing else..." "Of course," Rei agreed, smiling lightly. "Unless there is anything you can think of that requires your attention beforehand..." "Yes," Rei said quietly. "What would that be?" "Socks." Shinji smiled. "I _had_ forgotten. Sorry... but I don't think I'll be of much help with that..." "How come?" "Because I don't know your shoe size, and I have no money." "Why do you need money?" Rei asked, confused. "They are not yours..." "Well, those two things are the only real ways I could be of any help," Shinji said. "You could help me try them on." "That _is_ true, isn't it..." Shinji said, laughing. 'Though I do doubt that they would fit my feet...' "I do not have money here, either. But, it is not necessary for you to buy them." "Well, they can't require immediate attention if no one can buy them," Shinji said, smiling. "Another day, then," Rei agreed. Shinji nodded acquiescence, noting that the surroundings where becoming increasingly noisy. "We are getting closer," Rei confirmed. "Yes, I noticed," Shinji said, smiling. "In more ways than one." "Then are you afraid?" "I never said that. Whatever gave you that impression, Rei-chan?" Rei held up her hand, which used to be enclosed in Shinji's. "You give me no reason to fear you, Rei-chan," Shinji replied, taking her hand softly in his once more. "I know." "Then why would I be afraid?" Shinji asked, confused. "I just wanted to watch you react." Shinji grinned. "And has my reaction earned your approval?" "It doesn't earn approval. It earns my interest, and as such, us." As she finished speaking, Shinji leaned over quite suddenly and proceeded to kiss her on the cheek. "Why did you do that?" Rei asked, blushing lightly, and looking at Shinji, who was mirroring the act. "Just to watch you react," Shinji said, smiling. "And I knew it would get you to blush." "Like you." "Yes, like me." "We're here, Shinji-chan." "Like this morning." "No, we are to ourselves now." 'And no Asuka to come barging in this time, either,' Shinji thought. "And we will not need to worry about Asuka intruding on us." "That will be a welcome change." "Peace," Rei stated simply, leading the way up the steps to her apartment. ------------------------------------ "Why are you so upset, Katsuragi-san?" Maya asked, somewhat nervously. --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Misato: Because that bastard Gendou is a fuckin' prick, what do you think?! --- "Complications." "That... time of the month?" Shigeru asked, trying his best to sound the part of a dumb blond swordsman. As the words left Shigeru's lips, Makoto beaned him on the back of the head with a graphic novel. "Thank you, Hyuuga-kun." "My pleasure," Makoto said. "If I may ask, did something happen during your meeting with the Commander?" "I don't wanna talk aboudit," Misato slurred curtly. "Hmmm... if that's wha---" "Major, I'm picking up something strange," Shigeru called over Makoto's voice. "Visual?" On the view screen, a series of dots displayed in the sky, a larger number interspersed on the ground. "What the hell is that?" Misato asked, curious more than worried. "Too irregular to be an Angel," Maya stated. "No pattern detected whatsoever." "Increasing magnification," Shigeru intoned. Misato squinted at the screen. "Filtering image," Shigeru added moments later. On the screen, the image clarified into 'small' tanks and jets, coming through none too clearly. "Converging camera focus on sector 154 by 234," Makoto said as the camera zoomed in again, taking a small cross-section of the armament. Faintly visible on the vehicles were the letters 'J.S.S.D.F'. "The Strategic Self Defense Force?" Misato asked. "What are they doing all the way out here?" "Something that they're not supposed to, obviously," Makoto stated. "Would you like to open a com channel?" "No, let's lay in wait for a moment. Either this is something really big, or the JSSDF is announcing its intention to commit suicide. Either way, I'd like to figure out what they're after before I start talking to them," Misato replied. "What's their general heading?" "Tokyo-3, Eastern Sector. District destination is unknown," Shigeru answered. "Give me a list of any buildings or locations government-owned or affiliated which may relate to this." "They could be after any of the armament buildings, though I don't know why they would. The only other buildings in the area are two launch tunnel exits, several apartment buildings, and the Tokyo-3 school," Makoto stated, ticking them off from memory. "They're above the law, they can get access to armaments whenever they need them... or want them," Misato said, holding her thoughts for a moment, then looked up. "The school... it's attended by the Children. What time is it?" she asked quickly. "4:52 P.M. JST, Major." Misato shook her head slowly. "The pilots are already out." "Then what could they possibly be after?" Makoto asked. "I don't know..." Misato replied. 'Is this part of your Scenario, Commander Ikari?' "Major, I think I have an idea," Maya said. "What is it?" "Well, earlier we intercepted a trace being run on government systems. We didn't think anything of it at the time, since no one was after _our_ computers, but the trace originated from the school in the Eastern Sector." "...What is standard Defense Force protocol for infiltration of government-level restricted files?" "This seems to be an isolated case. There is no precedent in this matter," Makoto answered. "Unless... it was something that wasn't supposed to get out." "In which case the most probable response would be an attempt to capture whoever made off with those files," Kouzou stated from above. "Damn it," Misato said, face falling slightly. "You don't use tanks and VTOL Assault Aircraft to capture a single fugitive, Sub-Commander," Makoto said evenly. "Capture doesn't necessarily intone being alive," Kouzou replied, bringing Maya to face fault. Misato clenched her fists. "This is uncalled for. Open a com channel. Now." Makoto tapped on his keyboard for a few moments, then stated, "Channel open, Major." "This is Major Misato Katsuragi of NERV Operations Department, First Division. Identify yourselves and the purpose of bringing an armada into city limits." The 'bridge' was met with nothing more than a static crackle. "Orders, Major?" Makoto asked, somewhat expectantly. "Play back what I just said," Misato commanded. Obediently, Makoto set the channel on repeat. "What are our rights in this situation?" Misato asked, looking up at Kouzou. "Since Government-level protected files have been infiltrated using a connection within our city, they are within their rights to do whatever they deem necessary to see to it that the information is either retrieved or destroyed. Essentially, we can do nothing." "Not nothing," Misato said, a dark look in her eyes. "Lieutenant Ibuki, open contact with the school. Have any remaining personnel in that building evacuated immediately. "Right away, Major," Maya agreed. "Send another message out to that little fleet. Advise them that if anything outside of the restricted limits is damaged, they're going to answer to us." "Done," Makoto stated, punching in another command. "Now, arm an N2 mine and target the middle of that little gathering out there." "Major?" Shigeru asked, sweatdropping. "A poor attempt to loosen up the situation. Keep local defenses in the area on standby. If we have to let this go, then it's staying in the boundaries. I don't want anyone or anything taken out other than what they're entitled to," Misato explained. 'This is idiotic.' "Done, Major." "Major," Gendou said coldly. "The JSSDF will _not_ dismantle this city. You are under direct orders to see that they do not. If any building is touched other than the school, you are authorized to retaliate with whatever force you deem appropriate. If they attempt to resist, then they risk a confrontation with the UN, as we are the direct arm of that foundation here." "Understood, Commander," Misato said, grinning grimly. "To be perfectly honest, I would've done it anyway." Gendou, from his ever-present desk, in his ever-present trademarked position, unleashed an unparalleled smirk. On the screen, the JSSDF forces continued rumbling into the eastern sector, followed by their ground troops, converging on the school from all possible directions. "This is despicable, when a school becomes the target of the military," Misato growled. "Not as though it isn't with good reason, Major. Though that doesn't mean we have to agree with them, even considering it," Shigeru replied. Misato grunted agreement, then looked back up at the screen. "Report on that building?" On the screen, the JSSDF tanks stopped rolling, allowing the foot to run past, continuing to converge on the building, carrying what, from the view screen picture, appeared to be automatic weapons. "It was built like all the others. Built to withstand an attack "But people can't. Status of the evacuation." "The entire sector has been vacated to the underground shelters, Major. Guards have been posted at the shelters," Maya reported. "At least lives won't be a factor. Just see to it that the sector is the only one in a defensive position. We don't need to cause a panic over this." "Understood," Makoto intoned. "One false move," Misato stated darkly, glaring at the screen, "and we end it." ------------------------------------ Shinji removed his shoes and glanced at Rei, thoroughly unsure of what exactly to do. "Come in," she said softly as she walked down the hallway to her bedroom. Shinji followed quietly. The room was just as it had been when they had left earlier that day. Rei set her bag down by her bed and sat down on her bed. Shinji followed suit. "What do we do now?" Shinji asked, looking at her somewhat nervously. Rei reflected upon his question for a moment. "Would you like some tea?" Shinji raised his eyebrows slightly, then smiled. "Yes please." Rei got up and walked to the kitchen, Shinji trailing behind her. A small room, reflecting the nature of the apartment, the kitchen contained only the necessities; refrigerator, oven, stove, sink, cabinets, and a table and chairs. The room was dark, all the windows being on the other side of the apartment. Rei deftly began preparations cabinets. Shinji glanced around the room and observed the mild disarray. It had been worse, only just before Touji's accident. 'I wonder why she doesn't seem to keep things clean,' Shinji thought. Shinji observed various glass dishes which lay on the counter as if they were scattered leaves. They all looked like they were clean, yet appeared to be untouched as if they had been like that for some time. He walked over to the counter and peered closer, unnoticed by Rei as she attended to the kettle. He traced his finger along a plate's edge, a small amount of dust resting on his finger. 'Odd.' Shinji began to stack the dishes by type, resting them next to the sink. He turned on the faucet and began to rinse the dishes. Rei looked up at him. "What are you doing?" Shinji looked back at her. "I'm just cleaning these for you," he replied. "Why?" Shinji looked puzzled. "So that you can use them. Did I... do something wrong?" he asked, somewhat unsure of himself. Rei kept his gaze on him, then faced him. "No... Thank you." Shinji smiled. "You're welcome." Rei walked to a cupboard and removed two cups. She glanced at Shinji as he washed the dishes with a slight smile on his face. 'Words of gratitude. He was the only one I had said those to before. Then today I said those to Aida-kun, and once more to him. Why?' She searched through some small containers for tea. 'I appreciate it, though they are things I don't know. It is confusing, and yet, it is a nice feeling. Others are concerned for me. Not for themselves only, but for me. It is unnecessary, yet they do.' She smiled lightly. 'I do appreciate it.' Rei made the cups of tea as Shinji finished the dishes, his constant exposure to such duties in his own home having honed his skill and speed at such a task. Admiring his handiwork, he turned around, meeting Rei's face as she extended one of the cups to her. "Thank you, Rei-chan," he said as he took the cup from her hand. "...You're welcome," she replied softly as she turned around, taking the other cup for herself, still smiling softly. The two moved to the table and sat down across from each other. Shinji sipped the tea gently, holding it in front of him as he withdrew the cup from his lips. "This is very good," he remarked to her. She nodded in response, eyes gazing at the floor. "I'm glad you like it, Shin-chan." Shinji watched her gaze focussing away from the table, eyes seemingly blank and lost in an ocean of thought. "Is something wrong?" "I am sorry?" she asked, her gaze returning to Shinji a moment after he asked the question. "I asked if there was anything wrong," he replied, smiling gently. "No. I was just thinking." "May I know what about?" "Just... that I appreciate it." "Appreciate what?" "To know that others have concern for me," she stated simply. Shinji set down his cup of tea slowly, pondering her words. As he opened his mouth to speak, the cup began to rattle softly against the table. Glancing down at it, it began to shake a little more, soft waves of tea flowing in the cup. Outside the building, a low rumbling inhuman to the machinery began to cause a small tremor in the ground, giving the building a very light shake, then disappeared just as quickly as it started. "What's that?" Shinji asked, still gazing at his cup, voice hinting of concern. "I do not know. Perhaps an accident within the construction area." "Does that happen often?" "Occasionally. Not very often however." He nodded, picking his tea back up and sipping it quietly, Rei following suit. "Why do you enjoy it?" Rei inquired as she drew the cup away from her lips. "What, the tea?" "No. Before, when you cleaned the dishes, you were smiling." "Just happy to be doing something for someone else." Rei smiled lightly at his response. "So you enjoy doing that at home?" Shinji chuckled at the question, as he knew full well the fate he was resigned to living with Misato. "The load is a bit heavier, but it's still something for others. I didn't like it at first, but after a while, it gets to feeling good to be pulling your own weight around the house," he finished with a smile. Rei took another sip of her tea. "May I ask you something?" "Certainly, Rei-chan." "Over a month ago, you were here with Suzuhara-kun. Why did you clean? Was it for the same reason?" He reflected on it for a moment. "Something to help another. Yes, for the same reason," he agreed, nodding. 'So, it is for anyone. He wants to do that for others. It is interesting,' Rei thought, then turned a small smile at Shinji. "Arigato." "You're welcome, of course," he said, sipping his tea once more. He paused for a few moments before speaking again. "It seems to me that you're always there after the Angels almost manage to kill me. Do you always come out of a similar sense... something to do for another?" "In a sense, I could and must answer yes. After the Twelfth Angel... I do not know why I came, but I did, to see that you were well. After the Fourteenth, I had to return to see you safe again... to keep you from being alone. "Had to see me... safe?" "Yes. I want you safe. I didn't like to see you in pain." Shinji lowered his eyes to the table, seemingly contemplating Rei's words. Silence followed, neither saying any words or making any actions. At last, Shinji looked up, a slight edge of anger and pain in his. "How could you know that it was painful? How? Have you been in the insides of an Angel? Have you been consumed by your own Evangelion, and managed to come out alive?" His eyes began to burn as tears welled in their very edges. Rei's expression softened somewhat, but her cool, collected demeanor remained dominant. "Not like you. I can feel what you're going through, in my own. "In your own?" "In my own pain. In my heart, unspoken," she replied, voice succumbing to a softer tone. 'Never understood.' "This was not... a human's pain," he replied, managing to keep his voice under control with slight difficulty, the urge for wanting to break and cry strongly edging at him. "I can't even begin to describe it." Yet he tried. "Almost an emotional pain on a purely physical level, and yet not. A loss of everything held true, everything sacred, and being made something you most hate and fear..." He shivered in his seat, keeping his arms wrapped at his waist. Rei blinked, then rested one of her hands on the table, staring at it. She looked up, blinking once more. "Exactly." "How. How could you know?" he asked, frustration beginning to enter his manner. "Because, Shinji Ikari. That is what I've been. That is what I am." Shinji's head snapped to attention, gazing at the blue-haired Pilot silently, awe-stricken. "How can you live like that, every day... knowing that what was could be again, and one simple slip could set you back there?" "I couldn't have a choice," she stated. 'He wouldn't let me.' Shinji continued to stare at her, lost in the words. "It doesn't matter to me. I look forward to when I can die," she finished, voice as straight-forward and strong as ever, yet quiet and gentle in tone. "You will not die," he stated firmly, clenching his hands into fists around his waist. "You protected me before. For that I owe you my life, if not more. You'll outlive me long if I have my way, Rei." "I lost that will some time ago." Shinji felt a sickness in himself, the words cutting through him with their softness. "I have a reason to stay alive." A look of general confusion crossed Shinji's face. "A reason to live, but a wish to die. That makes _no_ sense," he said, finding himself lost. 'Or maybe, it makes far too much sense.' "I won't die, no matter how much I wanted to, or perhaps, want to. But, I have a reason for not wanting to." 'I just wanted to see... again.' Shinji shook his mind from its own thoughts, looking at Rei, placing his hands on the table, folded one atop of the other. "To see. I know. In a way, at least." "There is more than I once had. It is something I want, that I need." "Something you need?" "Others." Shinji smiled as he heard her say the word. Rei took her tea in hand and sipped it quietly. Slowly she pulled it away from herself, smiling softly at Shinji, yet obviously a sad smile. "Do you understand why I know?" "No, but I do accept it, that you do." Rei sipped her tea quietly, seemingly satisfied with the answer, yet betraying no semblance to such realizations. 'How on earth is it possible for someone to be _unable_ to die?!' "Don't." "Don't what?" he replied, somewhat startled by her voice leaking into his thoughts. "Don't think about it. You don't have to." Her tone held a sense of concern, as if it were a fate that she was resigned to, one that he didn't have to endure, and should avoid if he could. "How did this happen...?" he asked, as much to himself as to Rei. "It did. How isn't important, just that it did," she stated. "Not everything is painful," she added, smiling gently. "I was wrong about one thing, Rei. You'll never be a good mother. Any good mother would have a fit if she heard that," he joked, grinning as strongly as he was blushing, which was quite strong. "You are teasing me, Shinji Ikari," she answered, sipping her tea. "However, I can not claim that's true. Would you help me right now?" "With what, Rei-chan?" "To find out if it's painful. I'll need your assistance." "To find out if what's painful?" "Bearing a child," she replied straightforwardly. "I'm unable to do that on my own. Shinji blushed a deep shade of pink, beginning to sweat during the following silence. "Is something wrong?" she asked, seemingly oblivious to what Shinji appeared to be going through. "Oh no... no, nothing at all. You just surprised me," he replied, managing a weak smile, still blushing. Rei stood up, standing next to him and taking his hand. "Are you ready?" "Ummm, Rei... do you have any idea exactly _what_ that entails?" he managed to get out, meekly. Rei smiled lightly at him. "Yes." Shinji began to stammer incoherently, completely lost, unnerved. Rei returned to her seat across from Shinji, grinning softly, almost as if she were smiling. "Teasing someone is interesting." "I wouldn't put it past you... or me," he returned quietly, feeling beads of sweat rolling down his cheek. "You should drink your tea Shin-chan," she mentioned softly as she sipped her tea. His face burned red as he spoke. "Though if it _is_ what you want..." He left the sentence to trail as he felt the remainder of his body beginning to turn red. Rei's eyes opened widely for a moment, followed by a light blush spreading through her cheeks. She set down her tea, gaze remaining intent on the cup. She looked up at her guest who was watching her intently. She spoke, her voice soft, tinted partially with concern, partially with firmness. "I have never had reason to consider it." Shinji chuckled at her situation. "Something you'll actually have to think about? How _unlike_ you, Rei." He grinned, yet it was softer then before, an understanding being felt. "I could only respond to creating a physical bond with you." Shinji's eyelids shot open at the boldness of the statement, and its utter calmness. A look of total shock and surprise befell Shinji, yet let his eyes soften. He spoke, unable to resist the question, yet unable to keep the same control as Rei always did. "Then... then what _is_ the answer?" Rei smiled lightly at him. "You can assume." Her expression softened, her voice doing the same. "Though, with Shinji Ikari, I would become one with, mentally, and physically." "And am I not Shinji Ikari?" he asked, chuckling softly, yet a faint trace of nervousness still present. 'If Kensuke heard a word of this, he would probably have a coronary... like I am right now...' "Yes. Did you not say that to me earlier?" "And didn't we talk about repetition of truth before as well," he smiled softly. 'I could kiss her for just being so damnably right all the time.' "In that case, do you need me to answer?" she inquired, calmly sipping her tea. "It just sounds better coming from your mouth than from mine." Rei stood up and walked next to Shinji, bending over him and placing her mouth near his ear. A single word left lips which whispered gently. Shinji blushed as the air carrying her voice hit his ear, his eyes softening at the sound. Rei returned to her seat. "Another time, I will tell you why," she said to him, once more drawing the cup to him. Shinji nodded slowly. "I'll be waiting for that day, then." He rubbed his cheek for a moment, then proceeded to smile as he emptied the final portion of his tea into his mouth. "Of course," Rei replied smiling as she set the empty cup in front of her. Shinji blushed lightly and followed suit. He eyed the two empty cups, then let out a small sigh. "May I take that for you?" he asked her. Rei looked down at the cups, then back up at Shinji. "Arigato." Shinji shook his head as he reached for the other cup, moving to clean them at the sink. "No, thank you Rei-chan. That was very nice tea, and conversation." Rei blushed lightly. "I see." A small humming sounds could be heard quietly from outside the apartment, mixing into the clanging of the cups in the sink as Shinji washed them. It began to grow louder, then nearly faded away, remaining soft, yet in the distance. "Again? What's that sound?" Shinji asked, looking up. Rei's eyes narrowed, seemingly disturbed. "I don't know." She quickly rose from the table and walked into her room, standing beside her bed and drawing the curtain aside. She looked passively at what she discovered. "What is it?" Shinji asked as he walked into the room. "We have... visitors," Rei replied as she drew the curtain open, an irregular action for her to do. Shinji's eyes widened as he walked to the window, stopping beside Rei. "The JSSDF?" he exclaimed quietly as he watched one plane far ahead of the others zoom over the city, the letters prominent on its side. "What are they doing here? Is there an Angel?" "No. We would have been alerted if that were the case." "Then, what?" Rei's eyes narrowed once more. "I don't know." "Should we go to NERV?" "No. If there were a problem, Major Katsuragi would already have the situation under observation. The Eva is meant to be used against Angels, not humans." "I fully agree," Shinji said, a slight look of distaste in his eye. An inquisitive look appeared, returning his gaze to Rei. "But, whatever the situation, are we safe here?" "Yes. Look," Rei said, pointing at the miniature armada. "They are heading for a different section of the city. They do not appear to be causing any destruction either. The Major will alert us if our presence is needed, but it unlikely that it will. NERV has its own defensive measures for such situations." "It makes sense," Shinji agreed as he walked away from the curtain. Rei drew the curtain closed once more, walking into the room, sitting down on the side of her bed. Shinji did the same once more. "Just when things seem peaceful," he spoke quietly, looking at Rei. "Do not worry. There's no reason to," Rei replied. Shinji nodded, but a faint trace of vacancy shone in his eyes. Rei studied him for a moment. "Shin-chan?" "Yes Rei-chan?" "Lie down." Shinji's face turned completely red. "W-What?" "Lie down." Shinji didn't move. "Relax Shin-chan," Rei said, smiling. The small smile on Rei's face and the tone of her voice eliminated the first understanding he had of her statement from his mind. He did as told, putting his arms behind his head as he looked up at Rei. A moment later, Rei brought her legs onto the bed, moving over Shinji and resting next to him on his other side. She continued to sit up on the bed, placing a hand on his cheek. "Are you comfortable Shin-chan?" she asked him gently. "Of course. You're here with me," he replied smiling. Rei smiled lightly at him. "Good." Rei leaned over, placing her hands on the bed between his arms and chest, bringing her lips near his. She watched as he closed his eyes in anticipation, then did the same, bringing her lips to his in a kiss. His arms left his head as he turned to his side, his arms reaching out two rested in that pose, arms wrapped around one another, bodies nestled together gently, lips caressing softly. The kiss broke, both smiling gently, yet still resting, holding one another. "Rei?" Shinji asked softly. "Yes?" she cooed gently. "This is perfect," he replied, giving her a soft squeeze. Rei nuzzled his cheek gently, ending with a kiss, facing him once more with a soft smile, regarding his own and the faint traces of red in his cheeks. "Perfect." ------------------------------------ "Come on, Hikari. If I can't actually beat a human into a bloody mass of flesh, the least you could do is humour me and pick up the controller. Just for one round!" Hikari watched the television screen from her bed as Asuka sat cross-legged on the floor, controller in hand. On the screen, a non-descript man wearing a daringly skimpy, and ridiculously tight ninja outfit was in the process of blasting one similar to him into tiny pieces of searing flesh with rays from his eyes. Hikari shook her head as Asuka continued to blast away her opponent's various genetic components. "Ummm... you know Asuka, I already know you're going to win... that and I don't want it to become realistic." She grinned faintly. Further conversation was immediately cut off as Asuka began to swear incoherently at the screen; her 'ninja' was taking several sharp blows to the head from a rather bloody opponent. The tables turned as Asuka began to disembowel the remainder of the opposition. "An another! An this! Little bastard, I can almost imagine the brown hair..." She began to frantically tackle the controller. "Maybe I shouldn't keep this thing lying around..." Hikari thought aloud, beginning to sweat lightly. "She's getting too involved." "Little jerk Shinji and that damned blue-haired doll of his... Just once I'd like to..." Further ranting was cut off as she noticed Hikari staring silently at her, mouth slightly agape. She shook her head and continued her mantra. "I'll see her pay for this one day, mark my words... I'll make her _SUFFER_!" A sadistic grin crossed her face, complimenting the sadistic remarks. That was about all Hikari could stand to hear from Asuka, her demeanor becoming somewhat frightening and absolutely realistic. Eyes narrowing slightly, Hikari stood up from the bed and walked over to the large television, shutting it and the console off. "Why'dja do that?" Asuka complained, having spent the past half hour killing off every opponent the game had managed to throw at her. Hikari sighed, her tone monotonic. "Have you even listened to what you've been saying?" Asuka glared darkly at the pig-tailed girl, her tone just as dark. "Every last word, Hikari. Every last damning word." Hikari gave her an annoyed yet concerned look, one which she used often as Class Representative. "Don't you think you're going a bit too far?" "Oh, so you're going to side with _them_ too?" Asuka growled. "I'm not siding with anybody!" Hikari exclaimed, somewhat frustrated. "There's nothing to 'side' with! For God's Sake Asuka, just listen to yourself! The things you're saying, they're not... they're not... normal!" she finished, a slight touch of fear brimming in her voice. Asuka laughed softly, seemingly finding amusement in Hikari's words. "I'm not normal, Hikari. Maybe you didn't know that. Maybe you couldn't see it, or you just wouldn't. You'll believe something because you want to, or because you're afraid... but that doesn't make it true. This is your friend, Asuka Langley Soryuu. Do you like that? Does it make you happy to know who I am, who you've befriended?" She smirked, self-satisfaction written across her face as Hikari remained silent. "I thought not." "You're wrong Asuka," Hikari interjected as Asuka finished. "What I think is that you're afraid to know that you have a friend, someone who is worried about you, and who wants to be there for you. I'm happy to know who you are." "If you knew, you wouldn't think that. You don't even begin to understand. You're wanting to believe that this is all there is, so you make it truth, for _you_. You're afraid to believe that there's more, so you make the opposite truth, for _you_." Asuka shrugged, unconcerned with any impact of what she was saying could have. "It's just what you want to believe, and that's something I can't stop." "You're wrong, again," Hikari replied sullenly. "All I know is what you show me. Why won't you let me know you Asuka? I want to know you." "You don't want to know. If you had any clue, you _wouldn't_ want to know." "I want to know, Asuka, whether you believe it or not," Hikari responded definitively. "Be careful about what you want, Hikari. One day you might just get it... or rather it will get you." Dejection began to cross Hikari's eyes, then faded away as she shook her head to Asuka's rebuttal. "Don't try to frighten me away Asuka. You just don't want---" "If you want someone who knows the half of it, talk to Major Katsuragi. She knows," Asuka responded, emotionless and straight-forward as she stretched her legs out on the floor. Hikari sighed, becoming impatient with Asuka's stubbornness. She crossed to the window in her room, looking out the portal quietly. "Asuka?" she asked, keeping her gaze focussed outside. "What?" Asuka replied flatly as she stood up. "Why are you angry?" "Because someone has what I want, and I can't do anything positive to change it. You can't subtract without adding something negative, Hikari, so that's all I can do." "Another question. Why do you want it? "That I can't explain," she responded off-handedly, shrugging, unconcerned with such affairs. Hikari whirled around, glaring at Asuka. "Bull," she stated darkly, angered. Asuka jumped to her feet, whirling around herself as she placed her hands on her hips, declaring her intentions. "If all you want is to hear what you want to hear, I'll lie to you unti---" "I don't want any lies from you," Hikari interjected, cutting Asuka off mid-sentence, voice firm yet not as threatening. "You're 'fighting' for something you don't even know about. Just what are you trying to prove?" "I'm fighting for a lot of things I don't even know about. That's life, Hikari," Asuka declared firmly. "A life you can't know." "Never assume anything you don't know about," Hikari stated darkly. "Fine. Explain the Angels then." Asuka grinned darkly, satisfied with herself. "Explain yourself," Hikari countered. "You have to have a reason "Who said there had to be a reason for everything? Sometimes, 'just because' is the out and out truth." "Then, why are you my friend?" Hikari asked. Asuka laughed softly. "Just because, Hikari. Just because I can." Hikari returned her gaze to the window, saying nothing. "Life isn't something you can simply enjoy as it comes, Hikari. Maybe that's what you're seeing now. Or perhaps it's that I've just shattered part of your reality? Subjective truth failing hurts, doesn't it." Asuka laughed darkly, stressing it out, prolonging it for a longer period than necessary. "Enjoy your pain, Horaki. Around me, it won't be your last." She grinned darkly. Hikari's fist clenched on the windowsill as she listened to her friend's laughter. She remained, hand clenched on the sill, head bent down, eyes closed, seemingly defeated. Yet, this was not to be. Determination crossed her face as Asuka finished her comments. 'Won't be my last?' She turned around, walking up to Asuka until she was nose to nose with the girl, whose grin began to fade to an annoyed look. Making her decision, Hikari acted. Her arms found themselves enveloping Asuka, hugging her to her. "Then let me know what pain is," she said softly. Asuka was startled by the action, but became more angered than anything else, the hatred of concern and pity being brought out in her. She shoved Hikari away from her with a large amount of force, Hikari falling onto her bed a few feet away. "Damn you..." Asuka whispered. "Damn you!" She fell to her knees, tears brimming in her eyes, her voice beginning to strain. "...Hikari... I'm... s..." Hikari stood up silently, looking down at her friend who was on the verge of breaking. She walked over to her, kneeling down near her and focussing her gaze on Asuka's face which was hidden behind bangs of hair. "You're what?" she asked quietly. "It's your choice." "I have no choices. I'm locked away, locked in my memories." she stated, her voice regaining its composure, yet soft. "I shouldn't even be able to feel..." "You're human. You can feel anything." "I'll feel what I want and reject the rest, if I must feel," she stated reluctantly, frowning. "That's your choice. You can make that choice. You aren't being held back." "I'm being held back by myself. It's the only way." 'The only way? The only way to what? She doesn't have to hide, does she?' Hikari thought. "No, it's not. You can let your feelings out, and see what happens, if you want to do that." "Some other time. I'm done sharing feelings for now," Asuka replied sullenly. Hikari sighed, feeling somewhat dejected and defeated. "That's your choice." Her response was a soft grumble. As Hikari moved to stood up, a loud rumble, that of an explosion flowed through the room from somewhere in the distance. The ground shook violently just moments later, Hikari screaming as she was thrown fiercely off balance, and deftly crashing into Asuka who had also been in the process of trying to stand up. The two fell to the ground piled one on top of the other, small yells escaping during the fall, both feeling slight pain from hitting the floor and each other so severely. The tremors slowly subsided, the sounds of rumbling and crashing being reduced to a faint grumble. It took a few moments for each of the girls to regain their senses. "Owf..." Asuka moaned from under Hikari who was presently squashed down on her head, her voice subsequently muffled. "Whadda _hell_ wazzat?! Gezef... whadda hell?!" Hikari groaned in response, forehead resting on the floor. "I don't know... but that hurt...." She moaned in pain as she tried to push herself up of the floor, then yelped inexplicably. "Whaz izzit?" Asuka questioned, still trying to find room to breathe. "You're ummm... rubbing your head against my.... ummm..." Hikari said in low tones, blushing and somewhat too embarrassed to finish. "Ack!" Asuka screeched. 'What the hell was she doing putting that there _anyway_?!' "Then get offa me!" "I'm trying!" Hikari attempted to stand, pushing herself off of the floor and subsequently off of Asuka. Unfortunately, the standing attempt proved to be futile as the crashing and rumbling sounds continued once more, the ground shaking vehemently, and was thrown onto her back, crashing between Asuka's legs. The two remained motionless as the the tremors subsided once more. "I don't like this..." Hikari moaned, feeling the pain in the back of her head from where she had hit it. Asuka opened her eyes which had been clenched shut in bracing the tremors. She grunted softly in agreement, turning her head to see if she was still in a room which had structure. Then she noticed the two feet resting just a small ways away from her head, and looking up, realized she had a perfect view of up Hikari's school dress. "Dah! Perverser Mensch!" she screamed furiously. "Das ist nicht was ich sehen will!" 'Gut... Ib. Gott, was denke ich?!' Hikari, having absolutely no idea what Asuka was saying, because she couldn't understand German and had no idea what Asuka was talking about, looked up, and noticing the position she was in, shrieked short and shrilly and sat up on Asuka's hips, hands in front of her dress. "What are you doing?!" "You should be answering your own question, pervert!" Asuka returned somewhat upset, and blushing furiously. Completely confused, Hikari looked down and realized where she was sitting. She promptly blushed, somewhat surprised. "Oh... sorry. Sorry!" 'This is... really...' "And what's the big idea flashing me, anyway?" "Flashing you?! You were looking up my dress!" she said defensively. "And just why were you rubbing your head into my breasts before?!" she countered, taking up an offensive position on the subject. "Like I had a choice! You all but jumped me. I thought something had fallen off of the ceiling with how hard my head got hit!" Asuka returned. 'But there's no sane person in the world who puts fabric on the ceiling.' "Who in their right mind covers something on the ceiling with fabric?! You're just trying to cover up the fact that you enjoyed it! Probably want to do it again!" "And if it wasn't from overhead... I could have sworn it felt like blanket fabric. Really _cheap_ blanket fabric. And just for that last comment, I may just," she replied, mood changing, eyes alight. "I may just, at that." Hikari raised an eyebrow, the comment about cheap blanket fabric sinking in. "I resent that!" Then she grinned. "As for the rest of it, you're probably bluffing, aren't you?" Her voice and expression took on the characteristics of mock fear. "Are you... afraid?" She grinned again, satisfied. "Quit trying to cover up for yourself. I'm not afraid of anything, least of all something I've seen who knows how many times. Or are _you_ the one who's afraid, Horaki-chan?" Asuka countered grinning and chuckling, looking up at her friend. Hikari moved back, moving into a kneeling position, one leg on each side of Asuka, giving her room to sit up. Hikari stood straight in the air on her knees giving her height over Asuka, then leaned over to Asuka's face, grinning. "Afraid, you," she replied smirking. "And you may decide to put some heart and soul into it knowing that I might just find Shinji better," Asuka commented with a dark grin. Hikari smirked, edging closer to Asuka, placing a hand on each side of Asuka's face. Then in an abnormally seductive voice which was threatening to morph into all-out laughter, she intoned, "How much you want to bet?" "Dinner's on me if you're better." She smirked in her own mind. 'Thank God it's Misato's turn to cook tonight.' "Double the bet. What happens if you enjoy it?" "That all depends," Asuka replied smirking. "Suggest something." "Okay. If you enjoy it, then we have to do it again." "Steep odds. I like that. You're on, Horaki." Hikari crawled closer to her on her hands and knees, speaking seductively, yet jokingly. "Well, come on then." She rubbed her nose against Asuka's. "It's your play, since I had to cover the first and second bets." Hikari grinned. 'She's going to win, so...' She moved her head forward closing her eyes and kissing Asuka on the lips. Asuka's eyes leapt _wide_ open as Hikari silently held the kiss. Whether it was from shock or something else, Asuka remained rather immobile, the only exception being that she had closed her eyes. 'She's not letting through,' Hikari thought silently to herself. Then another thought entered her, side-tracking her first. 'I've never kissed anyone before.' Hikari rested her hands on Asuka's shoulders, pushing her back onto the ground. Asuka let herself fall, head resting gently on the ground as Hikari continued to kiss her. 'What the hell am I doing? And why in God's Name am I actually thinking I might _enjoy_it_?!' Hikari kissed her a little harder, applying more pressure to her lips, squeezing Asuka's shoulders more tightly, letting the calves of her legs tighten slightly on Asuka's sides. 'Am I actually enjoying this? More like I'm having fun bugging her... I think.' Asuka shrugged slightly, as if resigned to something, and pushed her own head up and toward Hikari's, pressing their lips further. 'What the _hell_ am I _doing_?!' It was Hikari's turn to let her eyes snap wide open. 'What the _heck_ is she doing?! She's... let's see what happens, I guess.' She breathed softly, eyes closing as she slowly slipped her knees back, letting outstretched legs extend atop of Asuka's as she came to lay fully on top of her, still holding on to her shoulders. Asuka sighed inwardly as the body fell upon her. Lips still embracing, she raised her hands from off the floor and quietly slid them over Hikari's breasts, pressing gently under the pressure of Hikari lying atop her. She blushed a deep shade of red, but declined to remove her hands. Hikari moaned very softly, tensing, unsure of what to do or how to react. A few moments later the tenseness left her, becoming lost in the kiss and the feeling of Asuka underneath her. They remained that way for a few moments, until Hikari followed Asuka's lead, slowly sliding her hands from Asuka's shoulders to her breasts. She squeezed the covered flesh softly as she continued to assail her lips. Asuka was wracked simultaneously by a loud moan and a convulsive shudder. The unexpected and unknown sensation of Hikari's touch had a strong effect on the girl, who added more passion to her kiss. Hikari began to breathe a little more heavily. 'She's enjoying this? But, what am I? I... want to know what that felt like.' She squeezed Asuka softly once more, entranced in her current state. Asuka's hands reflexively clenched slightly around Hikari's breasts, moaning softly once again. Her eyes opened slightly, darkened pupils within the slivers. She cried softly into the kiss, the words running together. "Mmmm... Hi...kari... don'stop..." Hikari shuddered softly, moaning deeply as she felt the jolt of Asuka's enfolding flow through her. 'Oh... oh...' She shuddered again as she heard Asuka's words. 'I... that is...' She began to mouth her words quietly, a vacant cry, blended and mixed in the embrace. "...Mmmm... A... Asuka... do... dontwan...tostop..." Her lips pressed more fiercely into Asuka's, her heart and mind now completely devoted to her friend, no wishes to do otherwise. Just as lost as Hikari, Asuka began to gently knead Hikari's breasts through her shirt while kissing just as gently, listening to the soft sounds coming from her throat, feeling the girl who rested on her, lost in a passionate embrace. She found herself doing as Hikari, moaning softly as she kneaded her breasts, rubbing her arms against her stomach and along the curves of her hips in the process. Asuka slid her hands along Hikari's body, down to her hips, pulling the passion-filled girl closer to her, emotions melting further and further. She squeezed her hips, pushing against Hikari who was being driven more and more into the fray. Her hands slipped down a trembling Hikari's dress, one hand traveling up the shirt coming to rest on her bare stomach, the other tugging on the shirt, moving to pull it out from its confines of the dress. Hikari moaned softly, her hips shifting as the hands slid across her. The phone rang. Two heads snapped up in an instant, all concentration and desire a distant memory, mainly because Asuka managed to smack her forehead against Hikari's chin. "Should I get that?" Hikari asked, letting the numbness escape her chin as Asuka rubbed her own head. The phone rang once more. "You better... and you should hope that the ringing in my ears is that phone..." She grinned darkly, but the humour of the comment shone through. "I'm willing to check," Hikari commented, grinning as she stood up and walked to the phone, tucking her shirt back into position. She picked up the receiver. "Hello?" A worried voice responded. "Yes. Who is this? I don't have much time to talk," she said, winking at Asuka. "It wasn't the phone," Asuka replied smiling, jokingly. the voice on the phone answered her. "W... w... what?! Oh my God..." Hikari stuttered, sitting quietly. "Was there anyone in there?" Hikari sighed, visibly relieved. "B... but..." "After hearing something like that..." She shook her head, trembling with shock and nervousness. "My God." 'Oh my.' Hikari twitched slightly. "Err... yes. Just trying to keep up with Asuka... in the games," she replied with a touch of nervousness. Misato replied, apparently oblivious to Hikari's current state. "Yes, Katsuragi-san. Thank you." The conversation ended with the sound of papers ruffling and general grumbling coming from Misato's end of the line. The line went silent as the receiver was replaced on her end, Hikari following suit. Hikari walked slowly to her bed, sitting down. The only emotion she showed was that in her eyes, which rested slightly agape. "Hikari, what just happened?" Hikari blinked. She let out a sharp laugh, still coping with the situation. "The school's been attacked!" "The school's been _what_?!" came Asuka's surprised reply. Hikari's voice betrayed the she current state of shock she was in. "The north wall was entirely destroyed. We have no school!" She paused, shaking her head as to make sense of everything that had just happened. "Numbers. I need the numbers." She sprang at her bureau and began rooting through the top drawer. "Numbers?" Asuka quirked her eyebrows in mild confusion. "Student phone numbers. Have to let the other students in the class know." She finally drew a sheet out from the drawer and gazed at it for a few moments. She quickly walked past Asuka to a phone at the head of her bed. "Anyone I can't get I'll have to find." Asuka remained seated on the floor. "Okay... not much I can do to help until after the calls, is there..." Hikari's hand rested on the receiver. "I guess... you could take names of anyone I can't reach." Asuka nodded, rising to her feet as she looked through her bag for paper and pen. Hikari quickly dialed the first number, speaking with the person on the other end for about a minute before hanging up. The second number was then dialed. The process continued for about an hour as each student was contacted concerning the school's situation. At the end, only a handful of students had been unreachable by the Class Representative. Of the four names which resides on Asuka's list, three of them were Kensuke Aida, Rei Ayanami, and Shinji Ikari. Ironically enough, the fourth was the student whose life Asuka had managed to make a sheer terror the past few weeks. Asuka chuckled quietly. "That idiot Aida is probably chasing whatever blew up the school around town." Hikari sweated lightly. "I wouldn't lay money against that... or anything else," Hikari commented, blushing slightly. Asuka's eyes widened. "Ummm... I..." Hikari quickly broke the tension with light laughter. "Well we'll never find anyone just standing here." Asuka remained motionless, seemingly lost in thought. "Come on, Asuka," Hikari called, calmly heading for the door. Her red-headed compatriot remained seated, then standing up only to gaze out the window from her position, rather than following her friend. Her thoughts began to tumble softly in the air. "I never thought I would, then when I thought about it, I knew I would hate it... that I would have to hate it... But... I didn't." Hikari turned around to face the quiet sounds. "Asuka?" "I didn't hate it!" Asuka declared with apprehension in her voice, speaking as if with self-incrimination. Hikari's eyes widened, as much as from the statement as from Asuka's tone of voice. "It's..." "How can I face myself if I can't even face that? Against everything I thought and believed, I didn't hate it!" Asuka's anger fell away, having been defeated. She spoke softly, lost in her words. "I didn't hate it... Damn..." "Do... you have to?" Hikari asked, albeit uncomfortably, seemingly unsure of her words. "Do I have to what?" "Hate it." Hikari swallowed with mild difficulty. "I almost wish I could, but I _can't_." Hikari shifted slightly, balancing her weight from one foot to another. "I... I can't." She shifted again, opposite Asuka's direction. "What do you mean you can't?" "I can't hate it," Hikari replied firmly. "I didn't." She shifted her weight again, toward Asuka. "Now, I'm not sure I would want to." She gave Asuka an uncomfortable look. In spite of what was happening, Asuka laughed. "My mother would just die if she knew about this." A dark grin crossed Asuka's face. "If she wasn't already, that is." The comment passed over Hikari's head as she quietly watched Asuka. "Come on. I still owe you dinner and a second round," Asuka stated as she walked passed a mildly stunned Hikari, smirking the while. "We need to notify everyone." After a few moments, Hikari shook herself out of her trance and followed Asuka to the door. "Asuka?" "Yeah?" Hikari began chuckling softly. "I bet you're looking forward to it." Never had anyone blushed so heavily, be it from sheer embarrassment or possible truth. Hikari waited for the shock-still Asuka to start moving once more before she walked out the door to her room. 'Now I'm in for it. Word of this gets out and I'll _never_ hear the end of it... though it might all be worth it to see the look on Almighty-Shinji's face.' Asuka closed the door to the bedroom with a pleasant smirk on her face. ------------------------------------ Lured by the smell of smoke and the ire of battle, Kensuke Aida pressed into the forbidden Eastern Sector of Tokyo-3, the sector which presently contained something almost as interesting as Angels or their gigantic bio-mechanical opposition, the Evangelions. In the Eastern Sector were the next best thing: The Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force. He wormed his way past the NERV security checkpoints with his camera in hand, smiling to himself. The guards were there to help people get out. They didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to try to get _in_. Kensuke, however, more than planned to get in... He _HAD_ gotten in. A vain fifteen-year-old boy's attempt to imitate a commando-esque slither through enemy territory produced an effect that would have looked humourous on someone else, even downright silly: it was exactly like it looked in the movies, but on Kensuke Aida, it almost looked real. Almost. Soon he had taken enough bumps to ward off any halfway-sane person who had decided to make the same attempt as he, but Aida kept moving deliberately forward. Soon, he spied his target. Or rather, his target spied him. As the boy crawled across the street on his stomach, a black-garbed JSSDF soldier looked down at him from a window overhead. Kensuke, however, had been paying attention, and at the first sound of the window being opened, he had rolled onto his back and aimed his camera at the seemingly-shocked JSSDF warrior. He managed to capture a few seconds of footage before the black-encased man pointed a rather wicked-looking automatic weapon at him and made as if to shoot. That was all the encouragement that Kensuke needed: he jumped to his feet and ran around the side of an adjacent building, where he then stopped to catch his breath. No sooner did he look up, however, than he spied three more of the black-garbed men sneaking out of holes in a building adjacent to what had once been the only school in Tokyo-3. Just as quickly, he turned the camera on his new quarry, capturing more precious frames that no one else would ever have the desire, or the ability, to capture. As his "studies" fled in the opposite direction from where he had come, Kensuke followed, trying to keep pace. After ten steps, though, one of the JSSDF men turned on Kensuke with a rifle in hand and started coming after him! So shocked that he almost dropped the camera, Kensuke turned tail and started running as hard as he possibly could. All the bumps and bruises he had acquired while slithering earlier now hurt as though Touji had thoroughly thumped him for a few hours. Grimacing due to the pain, Kensuke pressed on, never so much as looking over his shoulder to see if the JSSDF was following him. After several minutes at a dead run, he came to the edge of the East Sector. Awaiting there were the guards from NERV, who seemed quite surprised that anyone had actually still been in there. Though they may have thought to ask questions, Kensuke gave them no chance. He ran right on past them as fast as his legs could carry him, heading for _somewhere_, _anywhere_ he thought he could rest safely. Not really realizing where he was until he stopped, Kensuke finally came to rest at a road facing out into the waters surrounding Tokyo-3, a background of trees and large buildings behind him. 'Gee, what a lucky guy I am.' he thought, patting his camera lovingly. 'I may have more work for you yet, little one. We have to go see Shinji... and hopefully Misato may have been showering.' Kensuke grinned deviously, and took a step forward, but found that his legs refused to carry him any further, and certainly not to Shinji's home. Thus, he sought and found a park bench overlooking the scenery of water and sky, and laid himself on it gently, clasping his camera in both hands. 'Such a lucky guy...' he thought as he closed his eyes. 'Such a lu...' ------------------------------------ "Shin-chan?" "Yes?" Shinji replied as he continued to hold Rei. "Would you like to continue?" "Absolutely," he replied, but then looked puzzled. "Continue what?" Rei swung a leg over Shinji's side and pushed him onto his back, resting her nose on his. "Oh..." he said, nervousness edging in his voice. Rei rested herself on top of him, kissing him softly. Shinji made no action to move. "Happy, Shin-chan?" Rei said, smiling lightly. "Of course." Rei was caught off guard as she felt him slide his hands to her sides and tickle her ribs. A moment later she found herself being flipped onto her back, Shinji on top of her. "Of course, I enjoy this too," he said with a slight smile as he moved to kiss a slightly startled Rei. A moment later he broke it, trailing his nose down gently to her neck, which he softly began to kiss, breathing the soft scent which surrounded it. "You aren't alone," she said, before letting out a soft sigh as Shinji continued to attend to her neck. A few moments passed before Rei wrapped her arms around Shinji, pulling and sending his body falling on top of hers. "I wouldn't want to be," he whispered before proceeding to her neck again, listening to the soft sigh which followed. 'This is comfortable,' he thought. The same thought echoed in Rei's mind. He felt her draw her arms away until her hands rested on his own. He stopped giving her neck the attention as he felt his hands being rested just above her knees. He raised his eyes to meet Rei's gaze. "...Rei?" he asked softly. She smiled at him. She drew his hands up an inch. He started to turn red faintly. "Shinji." "Yes?" "...Go ahead." Shinji gulped. After a few moments, he began to raise his hands slightly up her leg. Or rather, he attempted to. The moment he moved his hands he found himself being flipped over onto his back, Rei lying atop him with a small grin on her face. "That was a trick," he chuckled as he stretched his arms above his head. "Perhaps," she responded quietly. "Or perhaps not. Uncharacteristic, yes." Gently she shifted her position, pulling him into a sitting position as she turned to sit closely beside him, extending her legs out in front of her, bent at an obtuse angle at the knees. She caressed his cheek with her hand as he blushed lightly. "Perhaps not?" he asked softly, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. She let her hand fall to her side for a moment. "Not," she said softly as she took his hand. "Would you like to try that again Shin-chan?" Shinji blushed lightly. "Well, that is... I'm..." Rei smiled softly at him. "That's all right." Shinji regarded her for a moment, then glanced downward. He nervously stretched his arm forward, letting it rest underneath her leg, on her calf. He rubbed it softly, giving it a squeeze before he drew it albeit shakily up the length of her leg, coming to rest on her knee. He looked at her as she rested her hand on his own. "That feels nice Shin-chan," Rei whispered as she squeezed Shinji's hand. Shinji nodded quietly, a soft smile on his face and a blush in his cheeks. "It's... new," he responded as he squeezed her knee. Rei smiled, then slid their hands under her dress. Shinji's eyes bulged momentarily. He felt Rei give his hand a soft squeeze. "Continue, Shinji." Shinji nodded slowly. With her hand still clasped on his, Shinji felt her leg softly, running his hand up and down the length of her thigh underneath her dress, squeezing it gently. He turned around to kneel beside her, facing her, and did the same with her other leg with his other hand as he watched her eyes close softly, a small sigh escaping her lips. The dress slid down her legs, resting before her, the majority of her legs exposed. Shinji stopped, resting his hands on her thighs as he leaned over and kissed Rei on the lips. He progressed to wrap them around her waist, pulling her down to the bed gently as her arms hooked themselves under his, holding his shoulder blades softly. They broke and rested like that, Shinji gazing up at the girl laying atop him. "We win," he said softly. "...Yes, we do." Shinji smiled at Rei, then breathed a small sigh as he closed his eyes. His eyesight was filled with pale blue as he reopened them, Rei's head resting gently next to his. The voice which he had been hearing more as of late sounded itself closely near his ear. "Shinji?" "Yes?" "Are you ready?" "Ready? Ready for what?" "To become one with me physically?" Shinji blushed a deep shade of red. "I, thought that... errr..." He turned his head away in embarrassment. She slipped one of her arms out from underneath him, her hand coming to rest on his cheek. He eyed it for a moment as it gently turned his head to the side, coming to face Rei's once more. He gazed at her silently, still fairly red. "Shinji?" She caressed his cheek gently. He trembled softly under her touch. "Y-y... yes?" She let her hand slip back under his shoulder and onto his shoulder blade as she moved into him, enveloping his lips with her own. Shinji accepted, near motionless, unmoving, still unnerved. The kiss was broken as she released him, slipping her arms from underneath his shoulders, placing them behind her back as she rested her hands upon those which were encircled around her waist. "Are you ready... Shin-chan?" "I'm... errr..." Rei took hold of his hands, drawing them to her side, slowly bringing them along the sides of her body. "I enjoy your touch Shin-chan." Shinji was blushing fiercely. "G... good." "Will you touch me Shin-chan?" Shinji very well near passed out right there. "Isn't this what you desire?" "Well... that is..." Shinji reluctantly drew his gaze up and down the length of her body, what he could see as she lay atop him. He subconsciously squeezed her sides, which brought a small gasp to her lips. Shinji could not physically redden any further. "You feel different, Shin-chan," Rei commented softly. "I... do?" "Yes... this is what you desire," she said as she squeezed his hands, gasping softly, shivering. Shinji's eyes widened in surprise, inhaling a soft breath as he felt a chill run through his body at the excessive warmth being generated, both from within himself and from the girl who lay next to him. "Maybe I do..." he mentioned quietly, as if trying to un-convince himself, and failing miserably. His squeezing Rei's sides once more of his own will very much sealed that. Rei softly drew his hands from her side, sliding them along her stomach, and gently to her breasts. She gave them a soft squeeze, breathing softly. Shinji's eyes were as wide as saucers, his breath stuck in his throat. His view kept switching from Rei's face and to his hands in a continuous cycle. His hands trembled softly under her hands and upon her breasts, unintentionally berating a soft sound from the girl atop her. "Shin-chan..." she whispered. "I still want to know how this feels..." She let out a soft breath under the gaze of a somewhat stunned Shinji as she bent upward, sitting up softly on his stomach, knees on either side of his chest as she knelt. Shinji's eyes remained wide, his hands still being clasped to Rei Rei looked at him softly. "...Please continue what was ended last night, Shin-chan. You would like to do this wouldn't you?" Shinji was unable to pull his gaze away from her chest. 'She's asking me to... to feel her... her...' His eyes softened. 'Why am I so nervous?' Rei took the initiative for him, placing one of his hands on the bed, gently cupping the over her and drawing it slowly atop her, breathing softly, eyes closed. Shinji stared in amazement, feeling the heat growing within his body. "A... alright." He quickly took control of his hand as he stopped its movement, pressing it against her breast. Rei gasped softly, eyes opening in what contested surprise. Shinji blinked, reddening once more as his hand squirming softly in his own surprise, only serving to elicit a soft moan from Rei who squeezed his hand all the more firmly. He looked stunned. Rei looked down at him with a slight smile. "Continue, Shin-chan..." Shinji was nearly mesmerized. He shook his head, then gently stroked the softness beneath his hand. "Rei? It feels... soft..." Rei breathed softly, letting out a small gasp under the petting. His hand clenched softly around the mound of flesh. "And firm..." He was beginning to become entranced. Rei squeezed his hand again as soft wail left her lips. "Enjoy this, Shin-chan. I am." Shinji's eyes danced momentarily. "Feels good..." he mentioned quietly, squeezing her again. Rei's eyes closed, her head tilting back slightly. "Good... yes. Don't stop this..." Her handd fell away from Shinji's, resting on the bed as she added support for herself, leaning back somewhat, her chest sticking out slightly in the position. Her words were soft, quiet, filled with a tone which filled with a need to experience a desire never felt. Shinji once more reddened slightly as she shifted position, which was indirectly increasing his body temperature, both from view and contact. He softly squeezed the covered flesh underneath his hand, enveloping it the best he could, beginning to push it softly up and down. "...I won't. Don't want to... enjoying it too much..." Rei moaned her approval. Shinji continued fondling her, hand moulding the clothed mound between his fingers, taking a firmer grip, shifting between pressing, stroking, and squeezing as he became more entranced into the actions. Rei continued to alternate between soft gasps and soft moans, both of which had become somewhat more audible as he continued. She breathed more quickly, adding pressure as her chest rose and fell softly under his touch. Shinji himself was breathing more quickly, fascinated with the act the two were performing. "The... other... Shin-chan..." she whispered quietly, breathing more softly. Shinji's eyes widened as he realized what she was asking. He quickly complied, taking his free hand from the bed to her other breast, readily squeezing it as per her request. Both his hands found themselves occupied with her chest as she continued to gasp softly, her hands clenching the sheets softly. She took him by surprise when she took his hands, and drew them to the bed. "Did I do something wrong Rei-chan?" He himself was breathing more quickly than before, apparently having enjoyed himself just as Rei had told him to. "No," she said softly. She drew her hands to her shoulders, slowly drawing the straps of her dress off of them, letting them slide down her arms. "R-Rei?" She leaned over and kissed him, the while unbuttoning the side of her dress. She kneeled upward, letting it slide down the length of her thighs, a shocked Shinji looking up at her serene eyes. She raised each calf off of the bed, reaching over to slide the dress from it, until she held it in her hands. She gently rested it on the floor of the bedroom, continuing to kneel upward over Shinji. "Shin-chan?" she asked softly, moving forward until she was over his chest. Shinji's head was ready to burst from excessive blood flow to the brain. He gazed at the bare thighs which rest parted near the top of his chest. His gaze stuck as it fell upon her crotch, her white panties showing where the tails of her school shirt were pulled back, due to her legs being parted at Shinji's shoulders. He was unfortunately unfailing in gazing up her torso, resting on her face after such a heat-inducing moment. "Y... y... yes?" he managed to squeak. "I want to feel your touch... against my skin," she stated softly. "Last night... I want to know that feeling... not as it is through cloth." Shinji nodded nervously, though a slight eagerness was shining through his demeanor, as was through Rei. Rei slipped down on top of him, resuming her former position seated upon his stomach. She slowly unbuttoned her shirt as Shinji stared quietly, mesmerized completely. She tossed the bow softly onto her dress. Her shirt parted ways, revealing her paled cream-coloured skin, her exposed stomach, her luscious breasts which remained clothed within a bra, that which lay south of her waist, all of which were leaving Shinji quite breathless. 'Why do I want to see her like this so much?! Why do I enjoy it... why does she enjoy it?' "Is this desirable Shin-chan?" she asked softly. Shinji nodded vigorously. "Yes. _You_ are desirable... very." Rei blushed. "What if you were to watch Katsuragi-san like this?" Shinji turned red. "I... actually..." He blinked. 'I... don't want to. It doesn't... interest me.' He shook his head, speaking softly. "It isn't something that I want... Kensuke and Touji are obsessed with her, but... I _really_ wouldn't want that..." He blinked. "I wouldn't want that from her... or Asuka, or..." He shook his head. "Rei, why does it give me pleasure to see you like this?" Rei watched him quietly. "I am unsure. Perhaps it's the same as... me wishing to do this with you... but not having a desire to do this with anyone else. Otherwise, it is of little concern." She swallowed softly. "Only you. The one I will be one with." Shinji looked up at her softly, lips parted slightly. Rei smiled at him. "A desire for each other; that is why." Shinji nodded softly, a smile appearing upon his lips. For the first time since they had started, he looked relaxed. Rei took his hands, squeezing softly, the action being returned but a moment later. "Then, that is it." "...Thank you, for being you," he whispered softly. "...Ummm... you're welcome," Rei replied, blushing slightly. "Th... thank you, for wanting me." "You're welcome," he replied. "I couldn't without you wanting me back." The two remained as they were, smiling softly, despite the awkward position. The tender moment came to a close as Rei took his hand, drawing it to her cheek, slowly resting it upon her breast. Shinji gasped slightly at the new touch, looking somewhat surprised. His eyes flew open as Rei drew it down and slipped part of his hand under her bra, coming against the exposed skin of her breast. She drew it upward, allowing it to cup its entirety, a slight smile on her lips. Shinji's hand went limp. Shinji had passed out. Rei drew the hand from her, laying down beside the unconscious Shinji and smiling softly. "Later, Shin-chan. You don't have to right now. You may open your eyes." Shinji's eyes opened, looking somewhat embarrassed. "Sorry, Rei-chan..." "It's alright... you didn't want to hurt me. Though... there were other ways you could have done it." She chuckled softly as Shinji blushed under her soft gaze. She rebuttoned her shirt, proceeding to wrap her arms around Shinji's torso afterward, hooking under his shoulders and onto his shoulder blades. "Better?" Shinji nodded quietly. "Though... I regret running from this for the moment..." He blushed through his confession of desire. "Do not worry Shin-chan. We will have to make up for it afterward," she smiled softly, giving him what could be classified as a seductive smile. "M-m-make up for it?!" he choked. "I... ummm... you mean it's going to be more intense?" He continued to redden, blood flowing to various parts of his being. "Look forward to it Shin-chan," she whispered as she kissed him softly. Shinji nodded when it broke. "Besides, Shin-chan... I am confused... but I look forward to being able to spend that time with you. Because, it's you... you are who I will give my all, as you know. This is what makes that desirable... being able to give the self to another." She drew his head down to her shoulder, continuing to speak softly. "This _is_ desirable, being able to be close to one for whom caring exists for... a desire to unite with that person remains strong... a desire... but also a need. That is another reason why I wish to be this close to you, and to act with you as I do... as you have seen." She blushed, acknowledging her personal behaviour as of late for the first time. Shinji nodded quietly. "I... I understand it. I may be more conservative for the moment, I suppose... but that won't be forever, I promise that to you Rei-chan." He felt her cheek rub against the side of his face, a signal of agreement. His face remained resting upon her shoulder. "...It's different. You're the one who's conservative... but with me, you're the initiator." "It wouldn't get done otherwise," she whispered softly, a slight grin upon her face. "Hey!" Nonetheless, Shinji proved her point by making no move to leave her warm embrace. Nor did he request to be released. The two were easily content with that decision. ------------------------------------ Hikari and Asuka walked side by side down one of Tokyo-3's quieter streets, leading into one of the more slummed sectors which continued to reign under construction. Despite the listless surroundings, conversation between the two girls remained the opposite. "Well, _that_ was a total bust," Asuka huffed, annoyance deeply tainting her tone. "The only one there was Ritsuko! And she doesn't even _live_there_!" "I don't recall ever meeting her before, though I've heard the trio of dummies mention her..." '...I can't believe she was doing the laundry... and where did she find the skills to fix Shinji's door... working on the Eva?' Asuka muttered, questioning within her mind. "She _is_ better when she isn't recovering from alcohol poisoning..." "Alcohol poisoning?" Hikari asked as she quirked an eyebrow at her friend's statement, though it fell to its normal position as she shook her head. "Never mind. I have a pretty good idea why." "Somehow I think you're probably right..." Asuka replied flatly, sweating lightly. 'Unfortunately,' Hikari thought but did not say aloud. "Well, that's why we're going to try Rei's home next. Maybe we'll find the both of them there." "It would be expected," Asuka agreed, a little more harshly then she had intended. "No big deal..." Hikari stated, desiring to switch the topic for the benefit of her compatriot. "How about Kensuke? You sure about him?" "You know him as well as I. The camera is a part of him, and if there's been any kind of military operation on the island of Japan, he knows about it. With it this close, he's probably there already." "Understatement. He's probably involved in it," Hikari joked, though both girls new the statement was most likely true, which resulted in a visible reaction from Asuka as she shook her head. "Well, that's the way he is. I just hope he doesn't get himself killed." "He won't. He's survived a run-in with NERV security before, from what I've picked up. Compared to that, the JSSDF probably looks like a kitten to him." 'Was that actual concern in her voice?' Hikari wondered silently at her friend's mysterious showing of concern. The territory the two young ladies traversed continued to grow in loudness, the sound of a constant hammering resonating in their ears. It soon came to a point at which Asuka was forced to cover her ears from the excessive sound. "This racket is almost as bad as the explosion!" "Except we're getting closer," Hikari responded as she gazed around her surroundings, recalling the directions she had earlier noted to memory. "It's just going to get worse probably, unless we don't have to go far." "Everything just _has_ to get worse before it gets better, doesn't it..." Asuka muttered quietly. "That's the way things seem anyway. Maybe, things don't get bad. They just seem unpleasant next to other things." "Maybe for you. I'm just digging myself in deeper every day," came the slightly dejected reply. "Oh, no you're not," Hikari countered quickly. "Maybe you just don't see it. And I'm not making things the way I want to either, that's how things are. You don't always see what's really there." "And this coming from the girl who was kissing me half an hour ago?" Asuka replied as she glanced at Hikari, a large smirk upon her features. "That's _rich_." "That only proves my point, doesn't it?" It was difficult to determine whether Hikari was smirking or smiling serenely after her statement. "Heh. Take care, Hikari. Trying to care for me is dangerous." Hikari turned her face to her friend as they walked. "That's my choice, isn't it?" "You'll get burnt if you try to cover me on this one," Asuka stated calmly. "That's the advice of a friend." "Ummm... thank you, Asuka. But, I think it's something I have to do." "At least I have one friend, then," smiling faintly. "If you have to do it, do what you have to. Just don't complain if you learn to regret it later." A soft blush spread through Hikari's cheeks, pausing for a few moments before she spoke. "Promise." "And what _are_ you blushing for?" Asuka exclaimed suddenly. "Don't tell me you _planned_ what happened earlier." She grinned deviously, daring Hikari to reply to that. Hikari did, raising her eyebrow as she grinned softly. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. You can guess." A vacant look came over her as she lost herself in thought. 'I wasn't expecting the school to be blown up...' Asuka viewed the vacancy in Hikari's eyes, closing hers as she made a firm declaration. "I deduce that not only did you plan it, but you intended on more, but the phone rang first!" She grinned in triumph. 'Damn, I'm good. I don't even have to wait for her to answer, since I know I'm right.' Hikari raised a finger, meaning to interrupt, words stuck in her throat. "Ummm..." The finger drooped. 'She won't listen.' "Something you wanted to say, Hikari?" Hikari raised her finger again. "Ummm..." She remained in that position for several moments as they walked, hand at last falling to her side, looking slightly defeated. 'She won't listen.' "Well? Spit it out." Hikari decided to take a wild stab in the dark. "Not quite?" She gave Asuka a hopeful look. "Oh, so you _didn't_ plan it," Asuka replied with devilish glee. "Oh! So you were just joking!" Hikari laughed softly. "Hardly." Hikari raised her hand, finger extended again. "Ummm..." "You don't even believe I'm serious, do you?" Asuka stated in full, somewhat mystified that Hikari believed that she was joking. "That's only because I didn't plan that." "But you'll still have to admit it felt good, didn't it?" Asuka responded, it being more of a stated face rather than a question. "There's no denying it." She calmly waited for the expected blush from Hikari, which never came this time around. "No, there isn't," Hikari replied softly as she glanced at Asuka, grinning slightly. "Speaking from experience?" "No more experience than you have, I'll bet," Asuka grinned. "You're right. You thought it felt good?" "Yep," she acknowledged with a nod. "I can't deny that." Hikari blushed lightly. 'I've never done that before... I wonder what it would be like to kiss a guy?' 'And she even kisses better than Shinji. Not to mention the fact that he'd be too damned scared to even touch me, much less do _anything_ like what happened...' Asuka sweatdropped at her own thought. "And speaking of experience, for what you have, you _did_ kiss a hell of a lot better than Shinji." She blushed fiercely at her own admittance. Hikari's head snapped up at the new information. "When did you kiss Shinji?" "Oh, quite a while ago. Try a couple of months, I think. I'm not all that good with time. It all runs together. It _was_ before Touji's... injury." Asuka shut up as she realized the event that she had used to compare. "I haven't visited him for a few days..." Hikari responded somewhat distantly. 'All I had to do was mention the guy and she forgot all about why it even got brought up.' Hikari shook her head, escaping her trance. "I'm sorry. You said a few months ago?" "Yeah." Hikari raised an eyebrow, watching her friend suspiciously. "How did you manage to get him to do that?" Asuka took a deep breath, and exhaled as she began her rant in a normally toned and timed Asuka voice. "I just went, 'Hey Shinji. Want to kiss me?', and he goes, 'Wha...?' So I say, 'Kiss me, you know? Haven't you ever done it?' If finally broke down into him being scared, so I say, 'What's a matter? Afraid to kiss a girl on the anniversary of your mom's death? Is she watching you from up in heaven?' So after a good bout of taunting he says, 'I'm not afraid, pucker up!' And so we kissed." "I doubt you were holding each other or anything." Asuka looked somewhat embarrassed. "Well, I had a hold of his nose..." "You know, I don't really have any experience in this kind of thing," Hikari explained, "but maybe the problem with his kissing was that he couldn't breathe." "If he couldn't breathe, he could've told me!" Asuka snapped. "Did he have an opportunity?" "And it's not like he even tried anyway," Asuka continued, ignoring the question. "He just kinda stood there!" "Maybe he was just scared. You know how he is..." 'Or... was... anyway...' "That's why I'd rather---" Asuka's strong voice suddenly cut off as she stopped dead in her tracks mid-sentence, stock still. "...Asuka?" "...What?" Asuka asked quietly, looking at her friend. Hikari walked back to Asuka, shaking her shoulder slightly. "What's wrong?" "...Everything I do or think or say now manages to hurt me," Asuka replied quietly, softly explaining a realization which had just struck her cold. "Either me or someone who's my friend. I know whose you are, and it isn't me... I'm sorry." Hikari's arm dropped to her side, voice softened with concern. "Asuka..." "What?" came the reply, more harshly then intended. It was enough to slightly startle the pig-tailed girl. "It's..." She momentarily stared at her red-haired counterpart, then shook her head as she spoke with a quiet voice. "It's nothing Asuka." "'Nothing' doesn't cause a reaction based in concern." "It's..." Hikari blinked. "How do you know that?" "It's not like it's any secret, Hikari. As much of a dumb jock as he is, he'll do you more good than I ever would." Asuka's expression dropped into pure dejection. "That's all there is." Hikari looked somewhat shocked. ''Is that... all there is? Why does she say he would do more good? I am... I don't know.' 'Always against me. Am I wrong to want just _one_ agreeable thing?' Asuka tortured herself with her own pained thoughts. "I don't... think so." "Huh?" Asuka was startled by the quiet voice. "I don't think... that's all there is." "For you, maybe," Asuka replied drolly. "No," Hikari snapped firmly. "You know what I mean." "No, I don't." "That isn't all there is for you. For anyone." "Before... you asked me what pain was," Asuka declared quietly as she stared into her friend's eyes in a firm, unwavering gaze. "This is pain: to know that being the best is still not good enough. This is pain: to know that no matter what you want, you cannot have it. This is pain: to know that, even being the best, you couldn't even save your own mother from insanity and hanging herself. And this is pain: to know that no matter what you do, _someone_ is hurt. You want pain? These are pain... these are me." Asuka's eyes softened, looking regretful as her tone lowered to but a whisper. "Me." Hikari's stomach nodded in listening to Asuka's words. "That's..." "...Me," Asuka finished quietly. Hikari remained silent as Asuka's voice filled once more with angered strength, etched in sarcasm. "You wanted to know pain, and now you know your 'friend'. I'm very happy for you, Hikari. So very happy indeed." "You should be," Hikari replied gently. "You shouldn't have to keep that to yourself." "I don't need to be pitied for who I am," was Asuka's harsh response. "I'm not pitying you. I'm stating a fact. No one should have to do that." "Oh, so I should just risk hurting everyone else instead of hurting myself. How ignoble." "No... I don't know how to answer that... but what I do know is that I _won't_ let you take that pain all upon yourself. If for no other reason than that I'm your friend, I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not. You need someone to hurt? Hurt me. You need someone to talk to, talk to me. Taking this all on yourself is only going to destroy you, and I _won't_ let one of my friends destroy herself just because she's too damn _proud_ to ask for help." Asuka blinked at her friend's sudden appearance of ferocity in her voice, but shook her heading, shooting back her own annoyance. "So, you want to change me? You want to make things you want them, so that you're living away in that perfect world again?" 'I'm sorry, Asuka.' Hikari slapped her across her right cheek, receiving a stunned look from Asuka who looked shocked at what had just occurred. "My world isn't perfect," Hikari exclaimed, "and neither is yours! It can't be that way, so you have to do what you can, and if you can't do _that_, then I'm going to do it for you because you're just too weak to see what you need!" She glared at Asuka, daring her to try to argue back. Asuka recovered from what just happened, anger flashing momentarily in her eyes as her fist clenched. For a long moment, she looked about ready to deck Hikari to the ground, but as she met the fiery eyes of her friend, her fist unclenched, a blank look spreading across her face, all traces of anger vanished. "I'm..." "You're _what_?" Hikari spat, seething in anger. Asuka shook her head softly, head tilting toward the ground as she spoke in denial. "I'm not weak." "Quit hiding behind that mask of yours, Asuka. It doesn't work anymore. You've reached a point where it can't work. Either you let it all out and give up the facade, or you try to keep it up, and it _will_ destroy you. If you're not weak, give up your mask." No response. "Or are you just _scared_?" she continued, angling for the response she sought. Asuka's head snapped up. Quietly she stared at Hikari, a somewhat stubborn expression appearing on her face. 'How irresolute I am.' "For once, just _give_up_!" Hikari declared as she started upon her powerful rant once more. "Being stubborn won't save you. You're just trying to face a truth that won't die. Playing that game is a guaranteed loss. Either you lose some now, or all later. Which will it be, Asuka?" Asuka's eyes softened for a moment, attempting to move her mouth to voice words which were etched within her mind. However, she stopped, eyes hardening, speaking firmly, and flatly. "I'm not answering that now." "I'll be waiting when _you_ show up, Asuka," Hikari responded softly, leaning over and giving Asuka a friendly kiss on the cheek. "When _you_ show up, not this mask you're wearing." "When the mask comes down, I won't be worth being around anyway," Asuka grimaced. The two continued into the noisy sector, stopping only a minute or so afterward. Asuka was the first to break their silence. "Hikari, we're here." '...You are wrong, Asuka.' Hikari shook her head quietly as she walked toward the large, degrading building. "Come on." Asuka followed, at a more reluctant pace. "At least idiot Shinji wasn't in the school when it came tumbling down." "Huh?" "What?" "What did you say?" Hikari demanded. Asuka was no longer in the mood for side-stepping conversation. "Just that at least that idiot wasn't in the school when it came down." "Asuka, you're impossible," Hikari sighed. "One minute you hate the poor guy, the next you act like you're worried sick about him." Asuka smirked. "Heh. Who said you can't like something you hate," she rebuked off-handedly, perhaps saying too much for her own good. "No one said that. It's just that you go one way and another so quickly..." Hikari chortled at her friend's quizzical expression. "It almost sounds like you're married to him half the time!" Asuka blushed deeply, staring at the ground, looking extremely embarrassed. 'I couldn't even think about something like that. Because... damn that Touji.' "You're just afraid of being lonely, aren't you." Asuka's response was somewhat dulled in tone. "I don't know. I think there's more than that." "How so?" "I'm not sure right now. Let's just leave it at that, for now," Dullness, coldness, sadness, and concern were all rolled together. "Why are you insisting on hurting yourself, Asuka?" Hikari asked, once more in her concerned manner. "Because... It's something I want to find out." "So you'll just try to crush everyone into your life as you will to fill the gaps?" "I just want to know why the hell I have to feel like this!" Asuka replied, utterly miffed. "Is that too much to ask?" She idly glanced at the papers in her hand, and gazed up at the apartment numbers in the dismal hallway which they were traversing. "402. Should be the next floor." "You don't _have_ to feel like anything, if you don't want," Hikari responded, taking in the information as they continued to walk. "Change isn't impossible." "Maybe I want to feel like this." "If you wanted to feel like that, you wouldn't have made a mask of those emotions to protect yourself. If you _wanted_ to feel like that, you wouldn't feel jealousy for what you couldn't have... or _who_ you couldn't have. Don't try to fool yourself, Asuka. Living in pain is no good way for _anyone_ to live." "It's how I've lived so far, except this hasn't happened before. So, that's how I'll do it. If I feel jealous, maybe it's because I'm not insane." She smirked in triumph. "If I could just take it all from you, I would. Take it and never give it back," Hikari replied with a lop-sided grin. "Oh please. You sound like a 'get-well' card," Asuka nagged. "Maybe I do, but it's truth. And not a truth I would suggest fighting, either." A sullen look filled Asuka's voice, speaking in a hushed and gentle tone. "Hikari, I'm going to say something to you. If you repeat this to anyone, I'll see to it that they never find your body, understand?" Hikari nodded silently, ignoring the threat. "Thank you for being my friend." Asuka quickly reverted to her haughty manner. "Now let no one speak of this again." "And as a friend, if I have to, I'll thump you good to make sure you get the right idea through that thick German head of yours," Hikari proclaimed, grinning lightly. "F=FCer diese Gr=FCende bin ich froh," Asuka muttered as she rubbed her head, looking impatient. 'Though I wouldn't let you know,' she amended softly. "I still have to know." "We're here, Asuka," Hikari interjected, stopping in her tracks as she looked up at the battered door of apartment 402. "Gott wei=DF..." Asuka exhaled, looking somewhat stunned. Hikari extended a finger, pressing the button on the PinPom intercom next to the door. There was no sound, and no response. "Anyone there?" "It sounds dead. Try knocking." Hikari rapped solidly on the door. "Anyone in there?" No response. "Apparently not," Hikari said as she turned away from the door. "Come on. I can do better than that!" Asuka complained, moving forward to shake the door handle. "Come on! Open up you two morons!" That was when she realized that the handle was turning all the way, making a full turn. It was unlocked. "Huh?" "Is it open?" Hikari asked as she peeked over Asuka's shoulders. "Yeah. That's strange," Asuka replied, staring somewhat puzzled at the handle in her grip. "Hold on. I'll see if they're in." With an affirming nod from Hikari, Asuka handed the papers she was carrying to her, quietly slipped in the door and closed it behind her. 'Just like a doll's house... always open.' "Hello? Is anyone there?" Asuka called quietly. Silence met her voice. "What kind of person leaves their door unlocked?" Asuka wondered aloud, walking slowly down the hallway, peering into the kitchen. "Anyone hiding in here?" Again getting no response, she wandered down the hallway, staring idly at the placid walls, approaching the main room when a sound caught her attention. "Hmmm? What's that? I could have sworn I heard something..." She stealthily crept to the end of the hallway, surprised when she saw Rei kneeling on her bed, head titled back slightly with her eyes closed, breathing quietly. Her arms were supporting her from falling backward. "Wh---" Asuka cut off her attempt to loudly get her attention when Shinji came into view as well. She realized that not only was Rei kneeling on the bed, she was sitting on top of Shinji's stomach. Nor was that the extent of it. Shinji's hands were occupied, firmly fondling Rei's breasts through her school uniform as they projected from her body. She rested perched on him, back arched slightly as slight gasps and soft moans escaped her lips, occasionally gripping the bed sheets tightly. Shinji himself was breathing more quickly, his gaze switching between her face and her body as Rei shifted slightly on top of him. "Wh... what...?" This was enough to stun Asuka stock-still, blushing slightly at the performance in front of her. Her legs rested frozen in place as she unwillingly watched, unconcerned with whether she was spotted or not. Rei softly raised her hands to her chest, cupping Shinji's hands in hers and drawing them carefully to the bed. "Did I do something wrong Rei-chan?" Shinji inquired, still breathing quickly as he gazed up into Rei's eyes from his position on the bed. "No," she said softly. She drew her hands to her shoulders, slowly drawing the straps of her dress off of them, letting them slide down her arms. Asuka's eyes slowly widened. "R-Rei?" he stuttered. She leaned over and kissed him, the while unbuttoning the side of her dress. She kneeled upward, letting it slide down the length of her thighs, a shocked Shinji looking up at her serene eyes. She raised each calf off of the bed, reaching over to slide the dress from it, until she held it in her hands. She gently rested it on the floor of the bedroom, continuing to kneel upward over Shinji. "Shin-chan?" she asked softly, moving forward until she was over his chest. He gazed at the bare thighs which rest parted near the top of his chest. His gaze stuck as it fell upon her crotch, her white panties showing where the tails of her school shirt were pulled back, due to her legs being parted at Shinji's shoulders. He was unfortunately unfailing in gazing up her torso, resting on her face after such a heat-inducing moment. "Y... y... yes?" he squeaked. "I want to feel your touch... against my skin," she stated softly. "Last night... I want to know that feeling... not as it is through cloth." Asuka slowly drew a hand to the wall, supporting herself from keeling over. 'L... l... last night? Touch? Feeling?' The nervousness yet eagerness of Shinji's nod refused to escape her eye. Nor did anything else, as she watched wide-eyed as Rei slid backward, sitting upon his stomach again as she unbuttoned her shirt. The bow which she was wearing was tossed softly onto her dress on the floor. Her shirt parted ways, giving Shinji a breathtaking view of her body. Asuka shuddered slightly as she watched the shirt open. Her breasts, still hidden underneath a bra, extended perfectly from her body. Her hair hung softly along the sides of her face as she gazed down at Shinji. Her legs still rested, spread on each side of his body as she rested gently on his stomach. Shinji's eyes darted slowly up and down her body. To Asuka, they were contemplating what part of her he would be attending to first. "Is this desirable Shin-chan?" Rei asked softly. Shinji nodded vigorously. "Yes. _You_ are desirable... very." Asuka's hand gripped more fiercely against the wall. Rei blushed. "What if you were to watch Katsuragi-san like this?" Shinji turned red. "I... actually..." He blinked. 'I... don't want to. It doesn't... interest me.' He shook his head, speaking softly. "It isn't something that I want... Kensuke and Touji are obsessed with her, but... I _really_ wouldn't want that..." He blinked. "I wouldn't want that from her... or Asuka, or..." He shook his head. "Rei, why does it give me pleasure to see you like this?" Asuka's hand went limp. 'Doesn't... want me?' Rei watched him quietly. "I am unsure. Perhaps it's the same as... me wishing to do this with you... but not having a desire to do this with anyone else. Otherwise, it is of little concern." She swallowed softly. "Only you. The one I will be one with." That was all the German girl could stand to take. "N..." Asuka shivered for but a moment, then whirled around, darting for the door. She had cleared the hallway in minimal time, rebounding off the apartment's exit as she slowly dropped to her knees on the floor, staring in sadness and surprise at the door. Her thoughts tumbled aloud from her mouth. "No... they can't... he can't..." Her eyes snapped shut, holding her head in her face as the thoughts of what she had witnessed continued to attack her. "Gesch.... lechtsverkehr... nein... nein!" Her head snapped up as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She silently wiped it away, a mixture of fear and amazement in her eyes. "C... crying? W... I... I... I'm not... good enough? God, no..." She covered her downward tilted head with her hands, moaning anger and sadness together as one. "No no no no no...... why... Damn it Hikari... why did you have to be right? Shinji... why don't you feel this way about me?" More tears rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped them away, jumping to her feet, speaking in fear. "I-I have to get out of here..." She quickly flung the door open, whirling around its edge as she slipped through and shut it behind her, resting her forehead against as it closed, hand still resting on the handle. "Asuka?" Hikari questioned. "Are they there?" Asuka's eyes widened, shocked by the voice. She quickly drew in a deep breath, and turned around, giving Hikari an annoyed look. "They weren't even here!" She shook her head, looking cross about the whole affair of their absence. "Let's just find that other student and come back later." 'I'll pound on him again...' With that, Asuka turned from Hikari and began a steady trot down the hallway, never even looking back. Hikari followed behind her, looking somewhat puzzled at her friend's behavioural twist. 'A mask,' Asuka thought to herself as she hit the stairwell. 'Is that what this is?' She experienced a temptation to sob as the images of what had just occurred to her echoed in her mind. 'Please... why?!' =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: VARIATIONS ON A THEME Volume 2 "Wrath is cruel, and anger outrageous; but who can stand before envy?" - Proverbs 27:4 =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D On the overhead viewer, the front of the school blows off in a replay, rubble flying into a nearby armament building, ripping chunks out of it. "I didn't see that part," Misato said, slamming the phone down. "It's right there, Major," Hyuuga replied, winding the video back to the initial impact against the armament building. "Shit. We're gonna have to get that fixed. I want the JSSDF held accountable for that. Send them a message telling them that they've done what they had to, now leave before we stop playing nice," Misato said, shaking her head. "I'm sick of playing babysitter to a bunch of kids with guns..." "Anything else you want sent in that message, Major?" Maya asked. "Yes, but it wouldn't be taken too kindly," Misato laughed coldly. "Understood." "Threats to national security are never taken lightly, Major Katsuragi. The loss was... regrettable," a voice came in over the com. 'Bullshit,' she thought. "That's more than obvious, isn't it? Thank you for tearing the city apart. I believe your business has been completed." "We have torn apart nothing beyond our designated target. Our business here is at an end. This transmission ends---" "Damn right it does." Makoto and Shigeru shared a grin. "Bastards. They're lying. They could've imploded that building and nothing else would've been touched. What are they up to?" Misato proceeded to mutter something about eyes. "Hyuuga-chan, exact an estimated return on the repair cost for that building from their tank corps." Both speaker and listener took on very Gendou-esque grins. "Ummm... Major? They have to do something _intentionally_... we can't prove that they damaged the building on purpose." "You're thinking too much. These are 'trained professionals'. They know how to level a building without damaging the surroundings if they _want_ to. It couldn't have been _un_intentional." "Then why do it?" Makoto asked, surveying coordinates of JSSDF units. "Either because they're being sloppy, or because they're trying to spit in our faces and get away with it. Either way, I don't intend to allow it. Ibuki, do you have an estimate on the repair of that armament building for me?" "Ummm...," Maya stammered, going over the estimates again. "I don't think you have enough for a tank here..." "Wait a minute..." Hyuuga said, enlarging an image on the viewer. "What's that?" Misato asked. "Over there! I thought I saw something..." Makoto said, pointing at the building missing chunks. "I thought I saw something go into one of the holes..." 'Weird.' "Are you sure about that, Maya?" "Maybe _half_ a tank. They didn't blow off _that_ much." "There!" Makoto pointed. Misato squinted at the view screen. "What's that, Hyuuga?" Makoto refocused the viewer, bringing a group of three black-clad people climbing out of a hole into plain view. "Those bastards! They tried to raid the armament building!" "If they're as good as you say, though, wouldn't they have blown something a bit... ummm... bigger?" Makoto asked uncertainly. As he spoke, the area around the hole began to spark, spreading around the entire edge of the wall, which began to crumble. It then exploded, flinging debris into what used to be the Tokyo-3 school. Both Misato and Makoto gaped at the crater of the destroyed armament building, along with the added destruction of the entire northern half of the school building. Walls weren't the only targets apparently. Shigeru looked over the numbers sullenly. "You just went up from half a tank to the whole fucking JSSDF division... and probably a good portion of their headquarters, too." "Times two," Maya corrected Shigeru. "Okay, now _that_ was uncalled-for. Hyuuga-kun, pick out the tank farthest from the city and target one of the missile batteries at it. If those things aren't any good for slowing Angels down, maybe they'll at least make the Strategic Self Defense Force think twice." 'She has the political grant to destroy the Strategic Self Defense Force completely and the weapons to back it up... Now we'll see if our Operations Director knows when it is enough.' Kouzou thought grimly. "Yes ma'am," Makoto grinned, encoding instructions to the missile batteries to fire at the designated coordinates. Missiles lifted out of their former home and streaked towards their designated target, trailing smoke behind them. Seconds later, the bombardment reached the area, part of the projectiles annihilating an aircraft which happened to be in the way of the trajectory, bringing the remainder of the explosives, plus the wreckage of the jet fighter down on the unsuspecting tank, destroying _it_ as well. "Ibuki, open a channel and send a one-word message. 'Oops'." "Should I try again?" Makoto grinned while Maya sent the message. "Not just yet. Let's see if they want to talk before we do that," Misato answered, thinking, 'I don't just want to off their entire chain of command before I get an official apology.' Above, in the designated 'Commander's Area', Gendou could be caught grinning behind his hands. "That was unprovoked fire upon state forces! Whoever made that shot is guilty of treason against his nation!" the crackly JSSDF com came through. "Go to hell. I ordered that shot. Just what the hell do you think you're doing raiding and destroying one of _our_ armament buildings, and blowing up the school to help you do it?! You think we're engaged in treason? You're asking for a war with the United-bloody-Nations!" "I didn't order that attack, so who did?" the JSSDF commander yelled, apparently at his subordinates in whatever vehicle he was in. The sound came soon after of metal banging against metal, and a body slumping onto the floor in unconsciousness, bringing Misato's eyebrows to rise. "Hyuuga," Misato said softly, "find the coordinates of the JSSDF commander's tank." "Who ordered that attack?!" the JSSDF man ranted. "And why the hell is this communications channel sti---" "What the hell is going on...?" Misato asked herself. "Got 'em, Hyuuga-kun?" "Got 'em," he agreed. "The coordinates, that is. Nothing has been fired... yet." "Lock onto the tank and await my command. I want to know what kind of stunt they're pulling now." "Target locked," Hyuuga confirmed. "Awaiting your order, Major." "Just keep it ready. Give it about one minute, and if they start running..." she grinned darkly. "Give 'em something to remember us by." "Yes ma'am," the three techs echoed one another. Misato, ever impatient, glared at her watch. In the Commander's Box, both Ikari-shirei and Fuyutsuki-sensei were trying to hide large grins. "She could take your job." "I don't think she would have the heart for it... some might say the _lack_ of heart." Back on the floor, Misato counted down. "Five seconds..." Makoto nodded quietly. "Maya?" Misato asked. "Everything's in place, Major." "Then send this message: 'We don't miss.'" "Message sent." "Reply?" "None." "Makoto-chan!" Misato commanded. "Fire at whatever you want!" She leaned over him, putting her arms around his neck, grinning malevolently at the view screen. "Yes!" cried the reddening Makoto, smashing his hand down on the fire command. Moments later, the tank was all but erased from the face of existence. The few chunks that still remained were flung up in the air, piercing fuselages and raining back down on the battalion. Oddly, though, there was no trace of blood or any human organic tissue. From the JSSDF came no reply at all; instead, all units seemed to leap to full speed, rushing away from the city as fast as they possibly could. Misato's grip on Makoto tightened. "Makoto-chan! Chase them! Don't hit 'em... just let the missiles follow them for... say... a hundred and twenty metres." "You got it!" Hyuuga agreed, still quite red. From the batteries, missiles began flying in all directions. "Look at Hyuuga-kun!" Maya whispered to Shigeru amidst giggles. "No doubt he's very happy right now," Shigeru agreed. Poor Makoto Hyuuga heard both comments and became even more red, as if it were humanly possible. On the screen, all of the JSSDF forces were running like mad to get away from the flying projectiles as if all of Hell's demons and Hellsworn of the world were after them. "They keep that up and they're gonna smack right into each other! Doesn't matter anymore... they took out enough of the sector." Misato laughed, thinking, 'I can't believe they took out a school just for this!' "They're running all right!" Makoto agreed, grinning broadly. "They're doing more than running..." 'Yeah, they're keeping you pressed into my back like... damn, what a time to be lacking a good simile.' "He's turning redder." Maya laughed. "Wouldn't you be?" Shigeru asked, completely innocently. Maya didn't answer. "Okay, dumb question..." Maya's head turned as two jets collided with each other outside the city boundaries. "Really smart people they have over at the SSDF." Misato, leaning over Makoto's head, shaking her fist in an apparent cheer, yelled, "That'll teach ya, you bastards!" "She does have her emotional extremes, though," Gendou noted. "I think she proved that point earlier," Fuyutsuki commented. "Certainly." Back on the main floor, Makoto slumped in his chair. Misato's praises were suddenly interrupted by the feeling of something pressing against her chest. One eye went wide open, and the other twitched as she looked down. "Ma-ko-to?" Makoto leaned his head back, eyes complete innocence. "Yes M... Yikes!" With one eye still twitching, and a half-grin on her face, Misato asked simply, "Could you please move your head?" causing Makoto to hunch forward _very_ quickly. "I'm sorry Major..." he said quickly, eyes on the ground, hoping all the while that his death was not imminent. "Oh calm down," Misato said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Makoto instantaneously twitched as if beginning to jump straight out of his chair. "He's handling himself pretty well..." Maya observed to Shigeru quietly. "Better than you would," Shigeru replied, snickering. "And just what the hell does that mean?" Maya asked. "Oh, nothing much, really..." Shigeru broke into a lopsided grin as Maya couldn't decide on a confused look or a dark glare to turn on him. "You're overreacting over nothing," Misato chided. "Now sit up." Makoto immediately straightened himself, cracking his head on the underside of his desk as he did so. "Ow!" Misato's eyes softened perceptibly as she kissed Makoto on the top of his head. "That hurt..." Makoto moaned, they eyed the other operators, in particular Shigeru who was grinning at him mischievously. "What's so damned funny?" At that moment, Misato latched onto Hyuuga frantically and resumed comments at the screen, then stopped short. "Hey! Where'd they all go? They were there..." "Well..." Maya began, "when 'Makoto-chan' hit his head, on the keyboard..." She stopped, indicating the burned splotches of ground. "Oh, damn..." Makoto moaned again, sweating for more than one reason. Misato blinked twice. "You're a good shot!" "I don't think I could do _that_ again if I tried. Besides, I was distracted!" "Not that you minded," Shigeru stated, quite off-hand. "Certainly not," Makoto stated, completely without thinking, though he bit his tongue as soon as he realized what he had done. "Well, of course he didn't mind. This is _me_, you know," Misato said, reverting her attention to the screen. "And... I think that takes care of that. They _did_ owe us for the building, after all..." Maya said. "I really didn't want to take any lives..." Misato started. "Ummm..." Makoto said, looking at his scan of the blast area. "Yes?" "I'm not detecting any human genetics, or material of any kind, beyond metals..." "That isn't possible. People can't just disappear!" Misato stated. "What about non-standard metals or metalloids? Just tank and jet scrap?" "Ummm... A little... not much, but maybe enough for some testing." "We'll let Ritsuko worry about testing materials. Right now, I just want to know how we destroyed an entire JSSDF task force, and there wasn't any human residue left. The only thing that swallowed things whole leaving no residue was the Twelfth Angel, but we would've detected a blue pattern... wouldn't we have?" "It can't be said. Though most likely we would've detected _something_, even if it was faint..." "Well, Ibuki? Did the MAGI get anything?" Misato asked impatiently. The lieutenant in question shook her head. "Not at this kind of proximity, and with interference from the surroundings... transmissions wouldn't get through. I suggest retrieving the samples after cordoning off the area, and doing the testing in one of our labs." "Makoto-chan... what the hell did you hit them with?" "Regular missiles. You said 120 metres, and..." His eyes suddenly ripped open. "They wouldn't give off that kind of interference!" "That's exactly what I was thinking. Conventional weapons don't leave things like radiation blankets that would interfere with the MAGI sensors. The only weapons we have that would do that would be AT Fields or N^2 mines, and we used _neither_." She turned to face Gendou slowly. "Sir?" "Retrieve immediately. _All_ available samples," he ordered. "Yes sir! Aoba, dispatch a team. Ibuki, keep scanning that area for me. I want to know if anything besides wind in the leaves so much as moves an _inch_. Hyuuga... wipe that sloppy grin off of your face and help Ibuki." "Yes ma'am," Makoto answered, blushing somewhat. 'He reminds me of Kaji... almost... I still need to talk to him...' On screen, NERV technicians could be seen scrambling towards the point of impact. "Hyuuga, I'm going to leave you in charge of this project," Misato said with a big yawn and a bigger stretch. "I need to go home and get some rest. Aside from that, my shift ended a little while ago..." "Yes ma'am," he agreed. 'I've been here since four in the bloody morning! What the hell am I doing agreeing to this?' he thought, then spoke aloud. "Have a good rest, Major." "And Hyuuga?" she asked from the doorway. "Yes, Major?" he asked slowly. "Don't hit your head on purpose again like that. Just ask me if I'll kiss you next time," she said, disappearing through the portal. As soon as the door slid closed, Makoto slid just as easily down in his chair in an almost liquid-esque fashion, until his head was resting in the middle of the chair's back. "Que sirrah sirrah..." he intoned, sweatdropping. Shigeru grinned. "What are your orders, Major's Assistant?" "Oh, cut that out, will you!" Makoto returned to his bright-red state. "If you don't shut up and do something _useful_, I'll make Maya shut you up, and make sure _neither_ of you enjoy it! Now, coordinate those research techs, se=F1or guitarist, before I follow up on that!" "Yes sir," Shigeru said, twitching and shrinking into his chair. "And after that, you have latrine duty. Tell Smitty I sent you. He'll know where you need to go." After that, Shigeru twitched visibly. Maya, meanwhile, chuckled while thinking, 'Power sure got to _his_ head pretty quickly...' "As for you, Maya..." Makoto began, before being cut off. "I'll be good!" she squeaked nervously. "You've been here since before I got here," he continued unhindered. "Go and get some rest. I know _I'm_ tired as all hell..." "Ummm..." she stammered, looking quite surprised. "But... who'll do this?" "Aoba-kun," Makoto replied coolly. "Urk!" "Thanks, Makoto-chan," Maya said, grinning as she pushed her chair in. "Have fun, Aoba." "Oh, I will," Shigeru grumbled in reply. Maya winked at Makoto on her way out, prompting Shigeru's next thoughts. 'I'm surprised _she_ didn't kiss him too...' He promptly sweatdropped. Meanwhile, at the next desk over, Makoto had already turned back to his 'work', that being what was left after he had seen to the delegation of the difficult bits to Aoba. Grumbling once again, Shigeru turned back to his work. 'If I could make my air guitar into a real guitar... I wouldn't mind hitting him over the head with it, just this once...' "Anything wrong, Aoba?" "Oh, no..." Shigeru replied, diligently tapping random keys. "Just thought... forget it." As the words left his lips, he punched in an actual command, completely accidentally, causing alarms to flare. At his desk, Makoto tapped in the abort command to shut off the alarms, all the while glaring at Shigeru. "Sorry about that, Makoto-_chan_," he said, grinning sloppily. "Jealous," Hyuuga muttered, going back to work. He managed to stay at that for all of a few minutes before an oddly suggestive, and apparently hand-drawn picture of Rei suddenly began floating on his screen. He stared for a moment, squinting somewhat. 'Who the hell drew this?' he wondered, noting the detail. "Guy's a good artist, but... maybe I should let the Commander know..." As the words left him, the picture promptly disappeared. Shigeru, it appeared, was still working incredibly hard, though on what, Makoto guessed, was quite another matter. Makoto eyed his counterpart suspiciously, then shook his head and went back to work. 'Seeing that... kind of thing bothers me a bit...' 'Commander Ikari would probably kill for a full-canvas of this. Of course... I should've gone into art,' Shigeru thought to himself, laughs coming from him softly. '...Though good models are rather hard to come by...' "Is this what we're going to expect?" Makoto asked aloud, staring at a new batch of printouts. "What'cha got there, Makoto-chan?" someone whispered softly in his ear. "Well, it's just that---" he said, suddenly freezing in place before blinking several times. Once his vision returned, he spared a glance behind him and promptly turned red. "M... Maya?" "Mmmhm!" She smiled. "So, what'cha got?" "Well," he coughed. "It's just these preliminary readings being sent in from one of the sites... it's... off the scale. We don't have any data on this." "That _is_ weird. Oh well... I just couldn't leave without seeing _some_ results... I think Ritsuko-san has me trained. Hope you figure out... whatever it is. And don't stay too late," Maya replied, grinning sheepishly. "Don't intend to," Makoto said, smiling. "I don't enjoy dropping dead terribly..." Seemingly out of nowhere, Maya leaned against his back and kissed him on the left cheek. "Don't drop dead. You know Shigeru's incompetent to handle _all_ this work," she stated, grinning. Makoto's eyes widened slightly. "Ummm... yeah. No problem," he said slowly. 'Did I miss something?' Maya leaned around and kissed his other cheek, then turned to leave, taking a moment to ruffle the wide-eyed Makoto's hair. "Sayou..." "Sure, Maya..." he said uncertainly. 'Something I would never have expected... twice?' 'Some guys got all the luck. Oh well... at least I've got my music for now...' Shigeru thought, watching Makoto begin blushing again. Makoto typed a few moments longer, then stopped. "I need coffee..." "Would you like one Cheez-it or many Cheez-it with your coffee?" Shigeru asked, a grin plastered on his face. "None, thank you. But... since you're so concerned, you can get it for me," Makoto replied deviously. "Okay, will do, Jackie." "Jealous!" Makoto called after him before returning to his typing, speaking softly to himself. "I like being in charge..." 'Jealous, huh? Those two are both taken, and I damn-well know it. What the hell am I doing blushing like a complete idiot every time one of them so much as touches me? And why on the face of God's Earth do they keep flirting with me?!' ------------------------------------ 'What in the world have I been doing today?" Misato thought. 'Besides acting stranger than normal... and why on earth was I flirting with Makoto? I'm going to have to have a talk with him...' She sighed softly and blasted her car out of the parking lot with practiced ease. 'Need sleep...' ------------------------------------ Meanwhile, in Central Dogma, Maya was allowing one of the transport escalators whisk her away to... somewhere. 'Where on earth am I going?' she wondered. 'Which escalator am I on?' She glanced around, then spoke aloud to herself. "And for that matter, what was I just doing in Command and Control? Not that Makoto's a bad guy or anything... but I'm sure as hell not _that_ forward. He and I are going to need to talk. Badly." She blinked. 'He's right, though... I do need rest.' ------------------------------------ "I'm going to need to talk to the both of them later. Badly... and I _really_need_ that coffee..." Makoto Hyuuga spoke aloud. "I must be half asleep. That would explain it all..." "Then we're sharing a dream," Shigeru intoned solemnly, approaching with Makoto's coffee. "Eh?" "You said that if you were half-asleep, that it would explain today. And I said that if this is a dream, then we're sharing it." "Oh," Makoto said, leaning back in his chair. "It's just a figure of speech really. Seeing an entire fleet blow up is kind of hard to dream..." "A lot of people say the same kind of thing the first time they see an Eva, you know..." "I guess..." "So, what are you going to do about it?" Shigeru asked after a moment of silence. "About this out here? Have it cleaned up, I guess... have the samples taken in for study. Standard procedure." "No, no. I mean about this," Shigeru replied, tapping his hand to his heart. "And this." He tapped his head. "What do you mean?" Makoto asked, eyebrows raised. "Oh, please... What are you going to do about 'those two'?" "I really mean it, what do you mean?" he asked, leaning back more. "There isn't really anything I _can_ do except talk to them. I doubt it's anything. The Major's always like that." Shigeru laughed. "Then what did she mean by, and here I quote, 'Just ask me if I'll kiss you next time.'?" "I have no clue," Makoto replied flatly. "Hyuuga-kun, I'm going to make this so simple that even _Shinji_ could figure it out. She said, in far more words than were necessary, which, of course, women always do, that she's available if you're willing to chase." "Errr..." he stammered, sweating lightly. "I don't think that's it, really..." 'Especially considering she already _has_ someone she cares about...' "Oh, come on. I haven't seen Ka-whatever for almost two months!" Shigeru said. "And even if that won't work out... why else would _Maya_ of all people, be so... well... forward, for lack of a better word, if she wasn't trying to get your attention?" "I think I have _her_ figured," Makoto said, grinning. "She was probably just trying to get a reaction from the both of us." "So what? If that's the case, then why not play it back on her? What better to get a reaction out of someone than to play along, then pull a surprise on them?" Shigeru asked, grinning sharply, almost as if he had attempted such before. "Errr..." "What's the matter, Makoto-chan?" he asked teasingly. "Could it be that a battle-hardened veteran like yourself is afraid of a _woman_?" 'Maybe,' Makoto thought before his reply. "I just don't do things like that." "And why is that? For all you know, it could actually work out!" Makoto shrugged a reply. "It's just not that big a concern to me at the moment." "The women seem to be making it _their_ concern, though..." Makoto promptly blushed, then turned back to his work. "Do you have the coffee?" --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Graaf: Dost thou not... desire the coffee? --- "Of course. Plenty of cream, too. Oh, I ran into Maya down there. Apparently she still hasn't left." "You're weird," Makoto stated, twitching. Shigeru grinned broadly. "You'll find out just how weird soon. Drink your coffee." "Thank you," Makoto said, taking the proffered cup from Shigeru and following with a small sip. His eyes bugged out instantaneously. "Sake, scotch, and South American coffee beans. Explosive combo, don't you agree?" Shigeru asked, taking a long gulp from his cup. "Yes," Makoto agreed, twitching again. "I think that'll be enough to last me until the next millennium. Somehow I wish... I could've ended my shift with Ibuki." Just before Shigeru replied, Makoto realized _exactly_ how that had sounded, and prepared himself for another good bout with blushing. "You still have lipstick on your cheeks, Hyuuga-kun," Aoba said, stifling laughter to manage his remarks. "Though you'd probably have it in a few more places _had_ you ended your shift with Maya-chan." "Oh, shut up and get to work, God damn it," Hyuuga growled, pulling a handkerchief out to wipe his face. "Makoto," Shigeru intoned softly, "you're blushing..." "Commander Ikari?" Makoto asked loudly, turning in his chair. "Yes, Lieutenant Hyuuga?" "I'd like to make a request, sir. I am requesting Lieutenant Aoba to be relocated to the crash sites to take part in duties there. I do not require his assistance at the moment." Gendou paused momentarily before speaking, causing Shigeru to sweat all the more. "He is not certified for those duties, and I will not permit an amateur to go into the field on a delicate assignment, thus opening the possibility of contaminating the results from future lab tests. Request denied, Lieutenant." Gendou smirked. "Is he certified for latrine duty?" "Smitty is... particular. Refer your query to him in maintenance." Makoto promptly did so, easily convincing the confused head of the NERV janitorial staff that Shigeru was going to be joining his ranks. "Bye, Aoba," he said, grinning. "Tomorrow, Hyuuga-kun. That will be interesting." He flashed a deviant grin and ducked out of NERV C&C. "When am I going to be due for a promotion?" Makoto asked himself, mistakenly aloud as he looked over more results. "That depends on the circumstances, Lieutenant. That, and your ability to handle situations, such as this one," Kouzou replied. "And what would you have done, sir?" "I would have convinced Smitty to make the transfer a permanent arrangement," Kouzou replied, smiling. "I didn't say how long he was going to be there, sir," Makoto replied, holding back his own smile. "As well you did not. It leaves you an avenue in which to work that would not have been available otherwise." At that moment, from somewhere else on that floor, a scream echoed in from the still-open door. "Two avenues, sir," Makoto stated, returning to his perusal of data. On the Commanders' Deck, Kouzou quickly engaged Gendou in a quiet conversation. "Rather clever, that one. Able to work with what he's given." --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Gendou: But he's no artist! Every Female Cast Member: --- "His request will be considered," Gendou replied, accompanied by a soft grunt of agreement. "We _could_ always set him to spy on Ryouji Kaji. Not to be trusted, that one." "Perhaps. His agreeing would be another factor, mind you. Besides, I don't believe we will need to do many more observations on Kaji-kun." "Also, his seemingly close connection to the Major could prove to be of use as well. He does seem to share some of your son's more admirable traits. Loyalty, for instance." "Which would give him all the more reason to join with the Major if she were to follow through on her promise. It's best to leave it as is, for the moment, anyway. Just observe him, for now." "Did the existence of humanity become so devalued while my back was turned?" Kouzou asked, chuckling darkly. "Observation. As you say." "It didn't become devalued. It just became more obvious that it was," Gendou replied, adjusting his glasses. ------------------------------------ Rei quietly stood in front of her dresser, staring quietly at her reflection in the mirror. Her arms hung at her sides alongside her school dress. Within the kitchen, Shinji stacked another washed dish with the others he had cleaned. "You okay in there, Rei?" Rei blinked at the sound of his voice, slightly tilting her head to the side. She watched her reflection with a growing feeling of pleasure as a small smile appeared on her lips. "I am alright." "That's good. I'll be done in just a minute," he called. Rei turned her smile from the mirror, walking to her case which she had set down earlier, eyeing the gray glasses case inside it. She let the smile fade from her lips as she closed it. "I have not had someone who wants to do something for me... It's a nice feeling." Shinji's humming could be heard from the bedroom. "So, we're happy," she stated to herself as she raised her hand into the air, eyeing it softly. "I still do not fully understand... but I will." "Okay, shall we be---" Shinji's voice was cut off by a sharp rap at the front door. Rei walked softly down the hallway, taking both her case and Shinji's in hand, stopping by the kitchen. "On our way? No. Someone will be blocking the door," she replied in her quiet tone, a faint smile etched upon her lips. "I guess I better get the door," he said as the clatter of dishes filled the air during his attempt to set them down orderly in the sink, rather than with the others. "It's alright." She walked to the doorway as Shinji returned to replacing the clean dishes on the counter, setting both cases down on the floor beside her as she reached it. She opened the door slowly, an uncommon action for her, and blinked in mild surprise at what met her gaze, nonetheless speaking in her often heard monotonous tone. "Yes?" "Oh, hello Ayanami," Hikari said with a cheerful smile. "I didn't expect you home since you weren't here earlier, but..." Her jaw nearly dropped as she saw Shinji wander into the hallway, taking her by surprise. "Ikari?!" Asuka, meanwhile, was keeping a calm, cool, and collected air about her. She was itching to twitch at the sight. "Good afternoon, Class Rep," he said as he walked forward, resting beside Rei in the now fully open doorway. "Have you taken to making personal house calls, or did the school explode?" he joked, chuckling softly. A large sweatdrop ran down the back of Hikari's head. "Errr..." She coughed loudly. "It's odd that you should mention the school exploding..." "Kensuke didn't do that, did he?" Shinji said, though the playfulness in his manner was beginning to escape him. "The school didn't really blow up... did it?" Hikari coughed again. "Well..." After a moment of silence, she shook her head and assumed her Class Representative voice of supremacy. "Our school was destroyed by JSSDF forces earlier this afternoon." Shinji sweatdropped. "We are lucky enough to have experienced zero casualties. Nonetheless, the building has been rendered 100%... useless." Upon realizing how ridiculous she sounded, she cut the newscaster act in an instant. "So everyone has been accounted for?" "At least, everyone in our class. You two were the final people that needed to be checked." "You even managed to find Kensuke? Where was he, cowering under his bed?" He managed a weak chuckle. 'He couldn't have... been the reason... right?' "Kensuke was..." She blinked. "Kensuke was..." She blinked again, her voice dropping like a rock, completely flat. "Oh, shoot." "I wouldn't worry too much about him. He manages to weasel his way out of things all the time. Would you care to come back to Misato's place with us? You two both look like you could use a good cup of tea." He looked both girls over for a moment. 'And a stout shot of brandy in each cup...' Rei, who still remained standing in the doorway, picked up her case from beside her, eyeing the boy next to her as she handed him his. "Would you also look for Aida-kun?" "I'm sure he'll turn up. As likely as not he's fighting with his video camera right now, trying to un-jam a tape. Finding him in a city this size... that would be near impossible," he explained, though apparently not that enthusiastic. 'I wonder... if the attack was because of...' He sweatdropped visibly. 'Oh dear God...' "That sounds nice, Shinji-kun," Hikari responded, cheerful again. "Though I doubt you can make quite as good a cup of tea as I can... not having to worry about it for once would be relaxing." 'Why am I being ignored here?' Asuka thought. She glanced at Rei, darkly as she remembered what she had seen in the apartment earlier. 'Oh sure, _now_ she's acting like herself... what an act...' "No sense in standing in the doorway all afternoon then," Shinji concluded. "We're going to go, and if you want to come along, now's the time." A large smile crossed his face as he walked out of the apartment, arms linking with Rei as she closed the door behind them. 'Tea... how can one be better than the other? They're all different,' Rei thought. '...I'd win.' She blinked. 'Was that humour?' "Yeah," Asuka commented as the four stood outside the apartment, giving him a sarcastic grin. "Why stand in a doorway when you can get three women into a house alone with you? Pervert." Shinji was rather oblivious of everything, right arm linked with Rei's left, still smiling dumbly. 'What is he, deaf?' Hikari, and even Rei to an extent, blushed in spite of themselves, more from Asuka's comment than anything else. "And you can wipe that grin off your face you pervert!" Asuka snapped. The sound waves finally caught up with him. "Huh?" He realized what she was talking about and began stammering. "No! No, not that!" He blushed furiously. 'Of course not... you just want a chance to have Rei again.' "Come on, Asuka," Hikari said as, interrupting Asuka's thoughts. "Tea waits for no woman." "..............." Asuka's eyes narrowed, an impassive look on her face at her friend's ridiculously sounding words. "Make up your minds, you two. You're acting like you're married," he chuckled, smirking slightly. Asuka was standing up in front of him in an instant, shaking a fist in his face. "You want to lose a few other things today besides your... teeth?" She caught herself before she let on something she preferred keeping to herself, resisting every urge to slam the boy and girl in front of her into the door. "I'd prefer not to, thank you," Shinji replied calmly. Asuka slowly lowered her fist. "Than watch what you insinuate or I'll have to pair you up with that pervert Kensuke." "You will do nothing of the sort," Rei interjected quietly. "Oh be quiet," Asuka huffed. "I don't feel like arguing with you, _again_." "Stop making disparaging remarks about Shin-chan and you will not have to worry about _that_," Rei vocalized firmly, gaining a glance from Shinji. "Of course, you'd _have_ to say that, what with all he's _done_ "Of course. Many things which you would wish of him and never receive." She perfectly mirrored Asuka's smug grin. 'Perceptive little bitch, isn't she?' she thought, somewhat stunned, realizing what Rei was convening. "Since when did you learn to do that? Well of course, I'm a perfect role model for that," she declared vainly. 'Emotion that is.' "No one said you could not learn things from someone you... dislike," Rei replied quietly. "Well, at least we agree on _one_ thing." Shinji was probably paying more attention than was good for him, but wisely kept his mouth _shut_ nonetheless. Hikari continued to watch the brewing cat fight, until making a decision which would probably be the best for Shinji's, and her own, health. She quickly took Shinji quickly began leading him down the hallway. "So Shinji, tell me about this marvelous tea you make." 'Thank you!' Shinji exclaimed, though not aloud. "Well, it's not all that much, really, but since I only have instant stuff that Misato buys to work with, it's better than it should be..." The sounds of the two talking trailed off as they walked down the hallway and began descending the stairwell, leaving Rei and Asuka in the doorway. Asuka watched the empty stairwell with her hands on her hips, watching after the two. "Well how do you like that?" "Like what?" Rei asked quietly, confused. Asuka rubbed her head to vent her frustration. "It's an expression." "I thought you meant to refer to Shinji-chan leaving with Class Representative Horaki." Asuka gave her a smug look. "Why? What's wrong, afraid she'll steal him away from you?" 'Afraid you won't have your puppeteer to make you move?' "She would not know where to begin, and even should she, I would not allow it." Asuka raised an eyebrow, sounding almost offended. "Why so defensive?" "Reasons you could not possibly understand. Now, I intend to be there for tea. Unless you plan not to attend, I would suggest you do the same." With those inspiring words, Rei calmly walked down the hallway with her case still held in right hand, uninterested in an answer from a blinking Asuka. "I know more than you think dolly," Asuka grumbled, fists clenching and unclenching. As Rei disappeared down the stairwell, she turned to the door and let out a sharp yell as she kicked it with all her might. It swung wide open, shuddering softly as it rebounded on the wall. Asuka stared at the doorway, somewhat shocked, her mood continuing to darken. "Those idiots," she spat as she regarded the wooden door. "They didn't even close it properly." She brought her hand onto the door handle, pulling it shut partway, intending to lock it, when her gaze fell level to the distant bedroom within the apartment. "...They..." Asuka's gaze remained distant as she focussed on the bedroom. Without so much as another thought, Asuka walked swiftly into the apartment, unconsciously slamming the door behind her. She slowly took steps down the hallway, stopping when she rested by the kitchen, looking at the dishes arranged neatly on the kitchen counter. "...Perfect, having someone taking care of you, isn't it?" Asuka muttered as she watched water drip, drop after drop onto the counter. "All in exchange for doing what you're told to, right? Just do and say whatever's desired." Asuka continued in frustrated silence to the main room, Rei's bedding. Upon entering, it looked almost like what she had expected it to. It looked as if it had not been swept in several months. Everything not stationary seemed to be strewn about randomly. What Asuka's eyes quickly fell prey to was the bed. Sleep was not the first thing she thought of as she walked up to it, feelings of confusion and anger overcoming her. "What did they do?" She stared down at it, resting her hands on the bed sheets. "How could they... why! Why them?!" Her hand spasmodically clenched itself into a fist, grabbing a fistful of sheets in her hands. "How could those two have been doing that... that jerk... his little doll...' She felt a tear streak her cheek. "That damned doll... this stupid doll's house..." She shook her head. "He'll give himself to a doll in her own house! She... she'll let him move her... hug her... squeeze her... pet her. Bending around him, twisting for him... like a doll... a living doll..." Asuka's mind snapped. "What the hell does he want with her?! WHY THE HELL DOES HE WANT _HER_?!" Almost without thinking, Asuka whirled around, stomped over to Rei's dresser and smashed her fist into the side with excessive force, splintering the flimsy wood, caving in the already unstable structure in a pile of wood and clothing. Asuka began to giggle lightheadedly. "Mommy... the doll was what she saw... the doll is what I keep seeing. I hate dolls. I'll do what mother did... I'll break the doll!" She let out a swift cackle, moving to the bed, flinging the sheets on the floor without a second thought as to where they ended up, then kicked out at the first available leg until it bent in on itself, collapsing the bed at an odd angle. "Break the doll!" she laughed. "...She won't be able to let him play with her anymore..." A glint of light caught her eye. She looked up, seeing a mirror hanging on the wall over the now destroyed dresser. She walked over to it looking into it carefully. "The doll must feel pretty looking at herself in the mirror... Am I pretty...?" She paused. "...Yes, prettier than a doll." With no warning she grabbed the mirror off the wall and smashed it against the wall glass first. She laughed as the glass shattered, scattering at her feet. "The doll doesn't take care of herself." She grinned as shards continued to drop slowly from the mirror. She dropped it at her feet, shuffling her covered feet among the glass. "She can't take care of herself. She needs someone... just riding innocently along in her master's grip, letting him do what he wants with her body, just so she can survive. No mind, in a doll..." Asuka crossed over the room to a rolling cart, where a small glass beaker filled with water shone softly in what little light entered into the room, through the curtains. "A beaker... she's a scientist? She's like mommy. My mother was like a doll. She did what others asked her, and what happened to her?" She chuckled darkly, her bangs hanging over her face, shadowing her eyes as a cruel smile danced on her lips. "She died when they had no use for her. She killed herself. This doll, she's not mother. She can't be, she can't do the things that mother did! I'll watch her hang herself... I'll break the doll!" Asuka was vaguely aware of the door opening as her escapade continued. The faint sound of voices and footsteps shuffling could be heard. Dark laughter escaped her as she took hold of the glass beaker and whirled with it in hand, her bangs flying from her eyes, revealing the madness that shone in them. She took aim at the far wall, her laughter becoming more high-pitched. The image of her mother hanging from the rafters of the hospital room played through her mind. "Mommy was like a doll!" An image of Rei outdoing her in a synchronization exercise with Shinji in preparation for the battle with Israphel the Seventh Angel followed suit. "She does what she's told to! She's so pale..." Rei's body, settled on top of Shinji as earlier, danced in her mind. "So perfect... every fold, every curve, every strand... so beautiful..." A vision of Rei and Shinji kissing grew within her mind's eye. "Because of her..." Asuka reheard the conversation that had taken place between Rei and Shinji when she had entered the apartment, reacted them together on the bed. A flurry of images flooded her mind, real and imaginary, Rei and Shinji together; fighting Angels, walking, talking, kissing, making love. The thoughts seared through her mind, a spiraling flame constant within, her few precious threads of sanity being cut with each memory, imaginary or fake. Shinji's words filled her mind, once more replaying what she had seen that afternoon. She watched again within her mind as Shinji lay underneath the blue-haired girl, looking up her exposed body to her eyes. "He doesn't have any need of me!" Asuka screamed. "He has her to play with! I have nothing because of her! Nothing!! Damn his doll!!!" Asuka heaved the beaker carelessly at the wall, sanity destroyed within a cloud of hatred and jealousy. The others came rushing into the room at the sound of Asuka's crazed voice. "Asuka!" Shinji cried out as he saw the beaker fly. Rei watched the beaker sailing across the room, coming to realize what it was. Her voice was quietly spoken, discontinued, faint. "My..." Time seemed to slow to a halt as the beaker hit the wall. Rei's face gave the impression that she was almost ready to cry. Anger displayed itself overly on Shinji's face, his body caught in time midway to Asuka, a cry choked in his throat as he recognized the extent of the full damage caused. Hikari showed nothing but eyes widened in complete surprise, while Asuka's eyes shone in triumph and pleasure, madness and rage, bangs casting a shadow over her eyes once more, arm still extended from the throw. Then everything restarted as the beaker shattered loudly against the wall, shattering into hundreds of tiny glass fragments. Cries came from the lips of all four children; surprise and mild fear from Hikari, outrage from Shinji, quiet despair from Rei, and exultation from Asuka. Water splashed down to the floor and spread out, rinsing away the excessive dust. Droplets slowly slid down the face of the wall, unable to support their existence in that position. A moment later, Shinji reached Asuka, his momentum, combined with that of his swiftly-moving arm, carrying across Asuka's face, which turned awkwardly from the left. A new sound came from Asuka's mouth: a mix of surprise and fear. Shinji stopped, dropping his arm to his side, clenching and unclenching his fist. Rei quietly walked to the wall where the shattered remains of the beaker rested. She fell to her knees and stared quietly at the remains, the water beginning to be absorbed by the edge of her dress. She quietly sifted through the pieces of glass, oblivious to anything else. "Asuka, what were you thinking?" Shinji thundered incredulously, looming dangerously over the redhead. "You and your damned doll make me sick!" Asuka spat, turning on Shinji with a hard slap. "Shinji-kun..." Hikari said worriedly. "That's all I've seen is you and your doll! Is it nice to have something to play with?" "Why the hell did you do this?!" "Destroying the doll's house so I can destroy the doll! I hate dolls! I hate her! All she does is what you want her to!" "That... that's wrong, Asuka," he managed to get out through gritted teeth. "Go ahead and do what you want with her! Have your fun! She's just a doll, so it won't make a damn difference!" "Get it through your head Asuka!" Shinji rebuked loudly. "We care about each other!" Asuka slapped him again. "Asuka..." Hikari whispered. "Asuka! Calm down! We can---" "Shut up!" Asuka yelled. "You probably planned all this! You don't care what happens to me! No one does!" Hikari stared at her friend with a shocked look on her face. "It's always Shinji and the doll, Shinji and the doll! You and your damned doll! Fine then! Let her lie on top of you! Let her let you bend and twist her around! Let her let you feel her so that you're not lonely. Do whatever you want with her if you really think she cares about you!" she screamed at Shinji, letting her arm fly again. Shinji caught her arm by the wrist and attempted to keep it from coming into contact with his face. "She does," he stated firmly yet quietly. "My..." The quiet voice broke through the room as it sounded. Three heads looked up to stare at Rei. "My... soul..." she said softly, picking up a piece of the shattered beaker, holding the edge of her dress which had absorbed some of the water. A slow flow of tears began to fall from her eyes, landing on the remains of the beaker. "I hate you! It's all because of you! All because he wants you!" Asuka ranted. "...it's..." Rei mumbled, staring at the beaker. "Damn it how can you feel anything?! Why do you want him! You're a doll!" Asuka broke away from Shinji's grip and rushed Rei, squeezing her chest and slamming her against the wall, knocking the wind out of her, a cry of pain escaping her throat. Both hands instantly shot to her neck, squeezing fiercely, pushing her head painfully against the wall. "You're just a doll! Dolls can be broken!!! Torn apart!" Rei suffered quietly, barely able to breathe as Asuka's hands twisted her neck with every intention to snap it. Weak, muffled cries, barely audible were her only means of expression as her eyes winced in pain. "Asuka!" Hikari yelled in shock. Shinji stared in horror at the scene. Rei made no action to move, eyes falling wide open, gaze falling from Asuka, focussed in Shinji's direction. '...familiar...' Rei's eyes locked him in place. He saw something new, a new feeling in her which had never seen before, which he knew all too well. Fear. Shinji cried out and rushed toward Asuka, grabbing her hands, attempting to pull them away from Rei's neck. Asuka visibly struggled to keep her grip, never letting go, the maniacal look never leaving her face, strengthening in its frightful appearance. "Damn this doll! Damn you! I hate you! I hate you both!!!" Shinji struggled, but Asuka seemed to be gaining more strength with each passing moment, and Rei's face was beginning to pale further than its normal tint. Her choking sounds rushed through his ears, like daggers in his heart. He felt sick. "Hikari! Help!" Shinji yelled. Hikari looked on uncertainly, eyes and mouth still agape. "Please!" 'Asuka...' she thought, 'why... is this happening to you?' Making her decision, Hikari rushed over to Asuka, grabbing hold of one of her arms as Shinji took hold of the other. With much resistance, the two managed to pry Asuka away from Rei's neck, who leaned gently against the wall, eyes falling closed. Together they dragged her, screaming viciously, away from Rei a few meters before pinning her arms to the floor. "Damn it Hikari!" Asuka shouted, voice full of loathing. "How could you help her! Help them!" She began to kick viciously, attempting to escape. The two used their free arms to each pin down one of her legs. "Asuka..." Hikari whispered. Tears began to fall from her eyes. Shinji looked down at the writhing form of Asuka on the floor, and up at the form of Rei who was still in kneeling position, back against the wall. Though her eyes were partially closed, he could still see into the red pupils which continued to gaze into him. Fear. Sadness. Emptiness. Those were what he saw. His gaze fell back to Asuka, still struggling against the combined grips of himself and Hikari. Asuka's eyes told all: pure, unabashed hatred and rage. Shinji was filled, not with an uncontrollable need to remove her, but instead by feelings of compassion and pity; thanks to Misato's words from earlier that morning. 'All because of what her mother did... because of what Eva did. What is this _curse_?' Her eyes stared back, seething blue flames, intent to kill with the simplest look. "Rei..." He looked up painfully at the limp form against the wall, regretting each word as he said it, speaking quietly. "Don't stay here right now... you'll be..." He trailed off. 'She shouldn't be alone at a time like this either... Shinji... you idiot.' Rei's pale form nodded slightly, apparently comprehending the words Shinji was trying to say. She rose slowly to her feet from the floor, walking stiffly out of the apartment. Asuka's gaze followed her out, glaring daggers at her back all the while. After the blue-haired girl left, Asuka did calm down slightly, and Shinji and Hikari both relaxed their grips. As soon as they did, Asuka was to her feet. Hikari, stunned, did nothing to stop her. Shinji, however, quickly blind sided her, sending the redhead sprawling to the ground in a heap. "Hikari... go. Now," Shinji commanded softly. "I..." Hikari began. "No. I need you to go find Misato-san. Tell her exactly what happened, and get her over here as quickly as you can. I have enough to deal with without having to worry about getting her here too," Shinji cut her off. "And catch up with Rei... she shouldn't be out there by herself right now." "...Right," Hikari agreed, already to her feet. Shinji eyed Asuka warily as she lay still on the ground. Hikari sped out of the room as fast as she possibly could, making the briefest eye contact with Asuka as she disappeared into the hallway and flew out the door. Asuka remained silent on the floor, staring down at the no longer dusty surface underneath her crumpled body. "Well, have anything you can say now? There's no one left for you to strangle now." Asuka snapped up into a sitting position, her hand slithering to his and tightening on his wrist, squeezing extremely hard, eyes flaring. Shinji flinched, but stood impassive nonetheless. "I'm not impressed, Asuka. You can go ahead and destroy yourself, for all I care, but leave everyone else _out_ of it." "Don't waste your breath lying," she muttered as she struggled to her feet. "You wouldn't care if I destroyed myself." Shinji managed to pull a decent imitation of an Asuka harrumph. "At least I have a heart. I'm not so sure _you_ do any more..." Asuka's hands clenched at her side. "How can I... when bastards like you are always tearing it." "Tearing your heart?" Shinji said, concern beginning to fall into his voice. "I haven't..." "Shut up!" Asuka snapped harshly. "Don't play one of your 'I don't know what's happening' games with me Ikari! It's because of people like you... who destroy it." "How could I destroy something that I've never had, that I've never touched, or never seen?" he rebuked, instances of Asuka's rudeness and cruelty being recalled to his mind. "How can _that_ be destroyed?" "Because you never bothered to look," she whispered hoarsely. "All you ever bothered to give me was your anger and hatred. Why should I have bothered to look after _that_?!" "Because I did," she replied coldly. Shinji stared blankly at the redheaded girl, somewhat stunned at her words. "I..." "You think the way people act is everything there is about them? You think everything you see is what it is? You should have died by now if that's how you think life is. I'd be dead if I were like that." She laughed definitively. "Ha! Scared away by the surface, so you think that's all there is to it? How superficial you are." Shinji would have needed his father's glasses to add the finishing touch to the perfect Gendou smirk. "Superficial enough to attract your interest, apparently." Asuka burst out laughing at the statement. It was eerie, to so the least. Shinji awaited, watching quietly, beginning to feel nervous about being alone with the emotionally fragile girl. Asuka's laughter ceased, her tone becoming deadly serious. "No. What I thought I might have seen was a boy, who might actually have been a decent person, as cowardly and shameful as he was, or thought he was." 'I thought I may have met a decent male.' "I'm no hero, and I don't intend to be. If you want to make anything out of all this, do it, but if not, hold your peace. You don't know anything about cowardice anyway, or shame... or maybe that's just because you're so covered in both you can't even put a name to them anymore. Maybe you did gall me into a kiss once, but I would rather be afraid of a kiss than of life _itself_." "It's too late for that. You already are, because you do nothing but run away," she said, advancing a menacing step toward him, a hand on her hip, the other pointed at his neck. "Let's get something straight; you can run away all you want to, but no one's going to give a damn about what happens to you. Do you even know why I know that?" "No," he said, pushing the hand down, "and I don't care. I'd rather run and admit to myself that I'm running than run and try to hide it." "You're just like me." She turned away from him. "I'm not surprised you don't care about me." "No. It's worse than that. I think I'm weak, so I run, and in running I hurt myself and others. Running only brings more pain. Instead, you hurt others to cover your running, it is your running, and the only one it ends up hurting is you. You don't care about me, you don't love me, and you never gave me your heart, except out of pure envy. Envy that I could at least, cowardly as I was, admit what I do to myself." He frowned menacingly. "Go ahead, try and prove me wrong. Try to tell me, eye to eye, that you're not covering your own fear by hurting others." "Who do you think you are, _her_?" She turned around, grinning fiercely, though it was clear that her voice was beginning to lose its edge. "You think you know everything Shinji-sama?" "Who knows? Maybe I do." Asuka continued to grin. "Maybe you know some things, but you're still confused. You're being superficial again." "For all we know, this could all be a world created in my mind... or in yours... the same could work for anyone. Still, superficial or not, it is what it is." Asuka's grin finally began to fade, her voice beginning to falter in its strength. "Fine... you want your answers that you know so greatly?" Shinji tapped his foot lightly on the floor. "Let's hear it." His leg which was doing the tapping was caught in a leg sweep courtesy of Asuka, his body falling to the floor, sprawled on his back. Before he could even react, Asuka dropped to the floor, pinning his shoulders fiercely to the ground as she moved her face right into his, eyes shining softly with water; tears. "Fine you idiot. Yes, I'm covering my 'fear' as you call it. My pain. I'm not concerned if others get hurt. No one cares about me! Why do I have to care if others get hurt? No one's ever shown me any compassion, any concern. Where am I supposed to learn about things like that when I haven't experienced them? How can I when I never had the damn chance..." "You know what hurting others gets you now." He refrained from struggling, no indication present of him even planning to do so. "Look at you! Lying here teary-eyed trying to tell me you don't care because no one cares about you. From the first minute I met you, you never gave anyone the chance to get near you, or to care about you. You can't blame on others what you brought on yourself. No one can." He laughed in spite of himself. "And here I am with you pinning me to the floor while I'm trying to explain this, too..." "Idiot," Asuka whispered. "Just how long do you think Misato knew me? And Kaji? He rejects me because he can only think about her. I gave others chances, you most of all. You don't even bother to look, because you think everything is as it is. Why are you so foolish?" "Because it's who I am. If you don't like it, then get up and leave me alone, because I'm not going to waste time trying to figure everything out anymore." Asuka shook her head violently, shaking his shoulders. "It's because of who you are that I actually..." She tilted her head back for a moment, voice straining to refrain from breaking. "I actually..." Shinji stared at her quietly, swallowing softly. Asuka completely collapsed on top of him, burying her face in her shoulder, crying softly, breaking through the sobs with a string of German. "Ich ha=DFe mich, ich ha=DFe dich, ich ha=DFe alles... aber ich..." 'Why on earth did I get myself into this one... Rei would have a coronary... and I'm not sure I still won't.' He shifted restlessly under her body, somewhat unsure of what to do. Asuka continued to cry into his shoulder, repeating her words over again, now in a language Shinji could understand. "I hate myself, I hate you, I hate everything... but I don't... god damn it I don't..." "...Don't what?" Asuka continued to cry softly. "I don't hate everything... or you..." She gripped his shoulders gently, hands shaking slightly. "Ich ha=DFe mich." Shinji blinked quietly as his gaze fell to his side, eyes resting on her sobbing visage, harshness gone from his voice. "Asuka, what are you..." Asuka shook once more, the tears endlessly flowing from her eyes. "I told you you were wrong." "Then I'm wrong, so what?" he replied softly. 'Thank God at least she's not strangling anyone or trying to get away...' "I do care about you. More than myself." 'Sohryuu... du bist pathetisch.' "But... I..." "This is the truth, Shinji." Again she shook as she lay crumpled on top of him. "Damn it, it's what little I still know..." "Then do whatever you know is right," he replied, confidence engraved in his words, though gentle nonetheless. "There's no other way to live and still be able to live with yourself, and that is a truth _I_ have learned." Asuka's head slipped up past his shoulder, resting her cheek on his as she continued to cry softly, the sobbing mostly ceased, voice strained to its limits, nothing more than a whisper. "Help." "I get into more trouble being me..." he said to himself quietly, grimacing slightly. "It's never easy..." Asuka attempted to look at him, but continued to cry, tears slipping down the side of her face and falling on Shinji's cheek. 'I don't believe this... God only knows how many people will never forgive me for this... including myself in the end.' He turned his head to the side, brushing his lips against Asuka's cheek, aloud. "Ssshh..." he whispered softly. Asuka began holding back her cries, sliding her arms under his back, holding on to him, otherwise fairly motionless. "What..." 'I will have to make up for doing this,' Shinji mentally noted to himself as he gave her another soft kiss on the cheek. "Ssshh... quietly now." "Why are you doing this?" Asuka asked softly. "Does it matter? If you can't have everything you want, at least accept what you can without argument." He laughed sharply, its beginning just as abrupt as its ending. "It... doesn't mean... anything?" she asked, looking completely lost, as if not thinking completely strength. Innocence. "If it means something to you, that's what matters. Let me worry about me, like you used to." "You don't worry about me?" "Would I even allow this if I didn't? I can think of at least three people who would take this as sufficient cause to inflict severe pain on me, and that doesn't even include Ayanami." 'Or myself...' Asuka looked at him, shaking slightly. "I..." "No arguments," he soothed. "You're never going to get everything just how you like it. For God's Sake, just take what you can _get_!" Asuka didn't move. "I can't... hurt you." "It's far too late for that," he uttered quietly. "Just accept... I'll take care of the rest. I make my own choices now." "I won't hurt you... I'm so sorry..." Her voice had once more dropped to nothing more than a whisper. "Don't promise not to do that. Don't make a promise you can't keep." He slid a cupped hand smoothly up under her chin. "No more restrictions on that. And I'll take care of my own pain." "I'll..." She shook her head slightly. "Sorry..." "So am I..." he replied softly. "About a lot of things." "Was habe ich gemacht, was mach ich, was will ich, machen? Wer bin ich?" She spoke aloud to herself, squeezing Shinji's shoulders slightly. Shinji turned her head to look into her eyes. "I don't want to cause nothing but pain... I can't stand that being all I bring." "No, you don't... that's not all." "Don't mistake me," he replied, imperceptibly soft as he brought his lips to hers in a deep kiss. Asuka trembled as his lips brushed against hers. Were thought reality, Shinji would have been quivering in his shoes. 'I knew it. I just sealed my death...' He mentally banged his head against a wall. 'Can I... stay... please?' Asuka thought to herself as she slowly came to accept the kiss she was sharing. 'I feel... warm.' Shinji closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss. 'May as well follow my own advice. I'll have to own up eventually...' Asuka returned it softly, trembling slightly once more. "I bring... pain," Shinji whispered as his head fell away. "No... no..." Asuka held him tightly, embracing his torso. "No you don't. You don't." She kissed him again, refusing to tremble because of the touch. 'You don't.' 'My own advice... my own advice...' Moments of indecision temporarily wracking his mind, until he at last brought his arms around the small of her back, crushing her tightly against him. 'Right now, I need this,' Asuka thought silently as she pressed her lips against his, reveling in the warmth. 'If Rei ever learns anything about this... God, I don't even want to consider it... I don't even want to believe I'm risking hurting her...' Asuka relaxed slightly as she rested more gently against him. Whether conscious of it or not, Shinji slipped a hand against Asuka's clothed breasts. The subconscious reaction of blushing on contact refused to fail. Asuka blinked, seeming momentarily unsure. She slipped one of her arms out from under his back, brought it over his hand and pressed it gently to her. For a few moments she held the hand tightly to her chest, then slowly drew it away from her. Shinji's hand clenched reflexively though softly in the air, his head lolling backward, eyes still closed. The kiss separated, a gap the length of a nose separating their parted lips. Asuka's eyes opened, looking down softly at the boy under him. "That was nice..." Shinji whispered, eyes still closed. "Thank you for being my friend," Asuka said softly. A fierce blush suddenly attacked Shinji's face as he realized that Asuka was still pressed quite firmly full-length into him. Asuka's look was solemn as one of his hands rested linked with hers on the floor, one of her arms around his midsection, one of his around the small of her back. Shinji fought the blush down. "Soft as..." He promptly started blushing again without even finishing the comparison. "...Her," she replied quietly, sounding somewhat distracted. "No, that's different. I'll just blush in peace..." He grinned softly, holding true to his word. "I'm going to hurt you by doing this." "Then let it hurt." 'Ayanami... Rei... I'm so sorry... I'll..." "No," Asuka replied angrily, staring at him with ferocity in her eyes. Shinji was stunned silent. Asuka jumped away from him and stood up, backing away from him, as anger and sadness mixed together in her voice. "I won't let that happen." Shinji rested on the ground, looking up at her body which continued to step slowly in reverse. "Then don't. Just promise me you won't run off before..." Shinji was cut off by the sound of the door opening. "Before what?" Asuka said, glancing in surprise at the hallway, fear in her eyes. "What? What is this?" "I..." The sounds of two pairs of shoes being removed could be heard. "That's why you did that?" Asuka said softly. "To keep me here?" "I'd be lying if I said that didn't enter into my reasoning..." Asuka's face turned red, stuttering quietly. "You did that to... you kissed for... you touched to... I would have left... so that..." Her eyes flashed in anger, her tone matching the rage which she felt, yet soft as a gentle wind. "Shinji Ikari... Ayanami's too good for you." "Anyone is good enough, because being alone is painful," he replied coldly, sending a chill down Asuka's spine at the sudden lack of warmth and respect which he normally expressed. Footsteps in the hall preannounced the arrival of two guests. "That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard you say," she muttered flatly. "That... not just anyone for that... you shallow... _boy_." She stressed the final word. Shinji jumped to his feet, giving her an even stare, manner matching Asuka's often haughty demeanor perfectly. "There you go again, denying the truth of living! It's no wonder you can't live with yourself! You j---" Asuka cut him off. "No. You'd do that with Rei... and then with me..." she replied firmly, no longer concerned if he realized that she had seen him earlier in the apartment with Rei, "just because you're 'alone'? If that's the way you think... you're disgusting... anyone would say the same... you're no better than a rapist," she spat. "Then live with it," he scoffed condescendingly. "I'm not going to bend myself around just to suit everyone else anymore. My mother died, and I fell back. My father abandoned me for his research, and I fell back. He called me when he had a use for me, to pilot the Eva no one else could, and when I tried to refuse, he would've made Rei, injured, do that instead, so I fell back again. I'm not going to fall back any further! No more compromise, no more trade-offs. The line is here, not farther, so _live_with_it_!" he exclaimed. His final words were caught by Hikari and Misato who had appeared in the doorway to the main room, open-mouthed and slack-jawed at his character. He seethed silently, glaring at Asuka. "I won't stay around you like that... and neither should Ayanami if that's what you think you can do with anyone you want. You really are a puppeteer." She took another step back, looking at him with a mixture of fear and disgust. "Just what happened to you in the past five minutes?" "I became the one thing I most hated just to see to it that you not leave this room," he replied coldly. "I am satisfied with that." Asuka blinked, realization donning on her as she recognized the words and cool tone of voice. "That isn't who you are," she murmured, true fear entering into her voice. "You can't have it both ways," he stated. "Either I am, or I am not. There is no middle ground." The resemblance was frightening, both to Asuka and Misato. Hikari simply stared at what appeared to be a complete psychological change in Shinji Ikari. Asuka shook her head. "Then... you be you, not him." She turned away from him, no longer willing to look upon the mirror image. Shinji smiled once her back was to her, his tone gently once more. "I'm glad we can agree on that much. I'm sorry I did that, Asuka, but nothing can change it now..." His eyes began to wet. 'I'm sorry... that was the only way I could think of.' Asuka swallowed softly as she turned back to him. "That... is... alright..." "No, it's not," Shinji replied softly. "Now, if you two are quite done making teary-eyed fools of yourselves," Misato interjected as she appeared midway between the two, "I think you both have a good bit of explaining to do." "...Can we at least leave this place first, Misato?" Shinji questioned quietly, shivering slightly as he gazed around the room at last coming to rest upon the fragments of the shattered glass beaker. "I don't think... I could stand it in here much longer..." Asuka looked ill. "Hmmm..." Misato's gaze wandered around the room, observing the chaos and destruction which had befallen it. Her eyes at last rested on Asuka, slight surprise in her look as she observed Asuka's sudden change in manner, looking as if she had something to regret. "...Wasn't intending to. The car's outside. I'll meet you downstairs when you're ready. Hikari, there's a few more things I'd like to ask you..." "Yes Major." The two quietly left the room, leaving Shinji and Asuka to stand among the disorder. "Come on. There are too many reminders of what I don't want to be in here..." he uttered quietly, blinking back tears. "I want to speak to you," Asuka replied softly. "...Go ahead. We seem to have all the time in the world." "Ummm..." Her voice silenced. "If you have something to say to me, Asuka, then _say_it_. I'm not going to wait here for my _health_." "Why did you go that far?" Shinji looked at her quietly. "Answer me... please." "Because you deserved it," he replied quietly, with an intentionally multi-meaning reference. "I..." She rubbed her hands together. "Ummm..." Something else seemed to strike her, though she continued to falter. "I was..." "I did mean one thing, at least, though. If you can't have everything, take what you can get. Understand?" "Anything is possible," she mused as another thought struck her. She looked up at the boy in front of her. "Who are you?" "Someone you never believed I would be," he responded with a half-smirk. Asuka shivered slightly. "Who are you?" "More than you know, and less than you expect. Perhaps less than you hope." His gaze was level with her eyes. "Please tell me, who it is you are." All hardness had seemingly left Asuka. She remained soft, innocent, and unknowing. This wasn't the same girl who had ravished her present location minutes earlier. "Whatever I choose to make myself, and the restrictions I choose to place upon myself. Life and death, love and hate. Me. Everything... and nothing at all. I can't describe it any other way." "Shinji." Shinji blinked. "What?" Asuka shook her head. "You're Shinji. What you say is who you are. You are Shinji, right?" "Shinji Ikari. A term which identifies me. Right," he replied, nodded slightly. Asuka smiled, though it was small. Barely noticeable. "That is who you are?" "I am who I am. Shinji Ikari." Asuka took his arm and rested her head on his shoulder, somewhat relaxed, yet shivering slightly as if she were cold, almost seeming unaware of her actions as she performed them, yet obviously present in doing so. "Shinji... I'm glad to know you." Shinji shrugged slightly as she spoke. "Can we go?" she asked softly, shivering out of remembrance. Shinji nodded. "And can we at least manage not to fight over this later?" Asuka chuckled softly, laughing quietly. "Okay," she replied, looking at him with dependance, smiling softly. 'Well, at least we can cover that much of this... As long as Misato-san doesn't try to figure out too much... maybe this never gets back to Rei... God, I couldn't handle that. I'm so sorry...' "I don't know if I'm talking right now... I won't say anything... it didn't happen," Asuka commented simply. "Oh, it happened all right... nothing can change that. Denying it won't help at all." "To anyone else it didn't happen," she rephrased. 'I won't hurt you because of who I am.' Shinji nodded after reflecting upon her statement. "...Okay. Let's go. No sense in making people more suspicious than they already are." "There's nothing to be suspicious about," Asuka responded softly as she tightened her grip on his arm. "You were being my friend. That's all. Nothing more." "I doubt they'd see it that way," he replied quietly as he lead them out of the molested room. 'I don't like her... but I didn't mean to destroy her home... or...' Asuka blinked as she reviewed the state of the room. 'What was I thinking...? What am I doing...?' Shinji tugged lightly on the immobile Asuka's arm. "Let's go..." Asuka allowed herself to be led down the apartment hallway, mute silence overcoming the two as the door opened and shut upon their departure. Silence engorged the apartment. Rei stared placidly at the dishes on her counter from where she rested against a kitchen wall. She swallowed softly, painfully from the throttling she had received. Water dripped on the counter as the dishes dried. ------------------------------------ Kensuke sleepily awoke from his slumber upon the park bench on which he had laid his sleepy head to rest. The young man stretched quietly, arms extending to the sky as his camera retained balance in his lap. "Well! Good..." He trailed off as he took in the gorgeous sunset which burnt the sky red with its flames, the clouds in the sky already succumbing to blue darkness. "...evening... Kensuke. How long was I asleep?" His gaze fell to his camera. "Ah, this is gonna go into the archives!" He softly stood up and began walking in no direction in particular, entranced in the conversation he was having with himself, voicing his words allowed. "I just realized I don't know where I am... oh wait..." He looked around for familiar landmarks. "I'm someway from my home... Shinji isn't too far from here. I think I'll stop in." Once more he looked at his prized camera, tucked neatly under his arm. "Come to think of it, why was the JSSDF at the school? They'd only get involved in NERV's territory if something important happened, like an Angel attack, or international terrorism, or hacking into top secret government files, or bombing the..." He stopped short as a quizzical look fell upon his face. He mentally reviewed his sentence. "Oh..." The frightened Kensuke hugged his camera to him in a death hold. "Mommy," he uttered meekly. He bolted for the Katsuragi household. ------------------------------------ In the obligatory blue car, Misato was not in a good mood. Indeed, not in the least. She sat in the driver's seat, to the right of Shinji, and kept her eyes glued to the road and her foot on the gas pedal. Not as though anyone would have been able to see the pedal, of course. It was expertly mashed into the floor. In the back sat Hikari and Asuka, the former looking on in white-faced horror as Major Katsuragi broke most every traffic law known to exist, and then a few that Hikari realized _should_have_ in the event that someone like Misato Katsuragi was ever loosed upon the street. "You three are going to have a _lot_ of explaining to do," Misato said darkly, launching her car around another turn. "Ummm... Miss Katsuragi... do we have to go so fast?" Hikari asked. "What? Fast?" Misato asked, whipping the car around another corner at a good seventy-MPH-clip. "I don't have a nitrous-oxide injector. Speaking of which..." "This is slow for her..." Shinji stated quietly. At the comment, any blood remaining in Hikari's face drained clear away. "I can't go any faster in the city... I couldn't take the turns if I did. If you want to come highway driving with me some time, Hikari, all you have to do is ask," Misato said, grinning suddenly. In his mind, Shinji shouted loud warnings to Hikari. She, apparently the unwitting victim of mental telepathy, suddenly believed that she was hearing Shinji shout "No! No!" in the far recesses of her mind. Asuka, ignorant to it all, simply stared out the window at the city flying by. 'She sure forgets things easily,' Hikari thought of Misato. '...I don't want to drive on the highway...' Misato chose exactly that moment, as chance would have it, to spin her car three-hundred-and-sixty degrees to a stop in front of her well- beknownst apartment. "I could've sworn I saw Kensuke for a split-second... running very fast..." Shinji said in a hushed whisper. "You were just seeing things," Asuka asserted. "Everyone out of the car! We're here!" Misato commanded. "You sure? I could've walked her faster, Misato," Shinji grinned, stifling laughter. Unfortunately for him, that prompted Misato to take him by an ear and pull him across her seat and out the driver's side door. "Owowowowow!" Shinji cried in despair, not noticing Hikari laughing softly in the back seat. "Okay, out you two!" "Come on, Asuka," Hikari said, stepping out, unsure if the ground would be still or going at seventy-miles-per-hour. Asuka silently opened her door and stepped out of the car, closing the door behind her slowly. "Okay, now up the stairs with you. Else, I'm going to fetch the Sodium and Hydrochloric acid... and a good stout length of silk cord." Shinji, upon Misato's comments, turned white and bolted up the steps to the apartment complex. 'I don't know what you can do with Na, HCl, and a silk cord, but I don't think I want to find out, either...' Hikari, being ever the wiser, hurried after him for precisely the same reasoning. 'What on earth would I do with Sodium, HCl, and a silken cord, anyway?' Asuka, meanwhile, hadn't budged an inch. 'Joke's on them, I guess. I've already passed science... I did that.' "Move, Asuka, or I'll forget the sodium!" Misato shouted. Asuka still refused to move, so Misato resorted to an attempt at herding her with a tire iron, also to no avail. Finally, Misato let go of the tire iron with a low growl and grabbed Asuka under her armpits and around the chest in one arm and drug her along bodily, and none too softly. "Let go..." Asuka said coldly. Misato's grip tightened. "I'll walk," Asuka stated softly. "Just let go." The Major reluctantly let go, thinking, 'What's gotten into her?' as the Second Children walked up the stairs without so much as another word. 'What the hell's going on?' Misato asked herself, walking behind Asuka to the apartment, quickly herding her 'captives' in and locking the door behind her. "To the living room with you, _now_! Ritsuko! Ritsuko! Wake the hell up!" Ritsuko Akagi promptly gonged her on the head with a spatula. "Ow!" Misato cried, recoiling. "Don't interrupt. I'm cooking." "We have something a little more important than supper on our hands, if you understand..." Misato replied, indicating the three sullen-looking children still standing dejectedly in the hallway. "Where's Rei?" Ritsuko asked, watching Misato intently. "That's... part of the problem, and it's a problem I intend to get to the bottom of. If you want all the facts, we're going to be having a little 'meeting' in the living room... that's _if_ you can manage to drag yourself away from the kitchen." Ritsuko promptly whacked her across the head with the spatula again. "I take one day off of work and everything goes straight to hell! I'd hate to imagine what happened at NERV today..." "We'll talk about _that_ later... though I don't think you'll like the half of it. Now come on." Ritsuko twitched suddenly. "All right. Everyone into the living room. Now!" Shinji flinched, then moved. Everyone else simply moved. "You too, Misato!" was all the comment necessary to put the Major in motion, for fear of the spatula. Soon after, everyone seated themselves in the living room. Ritsuko and Misato took on almost lounging positions in the two rather shredded-looking easy chairs, while the three children sprawled out on the ground, or rather, made an attempt to look sprawled. Asuka promptly commandeered every pillow in the room, lying on them, though it didn't make her look any more relaxed than Hikari or Shinji, the latter of whom was doing his best to simply stare out of the nearest window, while the former stared directly at the adults with a look saying, 'What the hell is the meaning of this?!' plastered all over her face. "Now, Shinji. Take your time, and explain, to the best of your recollection, exactly what transpired today," Ritsuko said coolly. The young Ikari blinked, then turned to the adults, laying out the course of the days' events, with, of course, his own spin on everything which had occurred, and managing to somehow omit the happenstance between himself and Asuka, as well as himself and Rei. About sixty minutes later, Ritsuko was rubbing her head gingerly. Asuka was still quiet, and fairly listless, hugging a pillow to herself. "Okay, as much as I hate to admit it... This makes absolutely _no_ _sense_!" Ritsuko complained, still rubbing her temples. "I understood it, for the most part..." Horaki put in. "Summary, please. Brief, not detailed," Ritsuko and Misato said jointly. Hikari took a deep breath, then went about her recount. "Woke up, fought, went to school, fought, fought some more, went to Rei's, went home, school exploded, apartment exploded, people exploded, emotionally, that is..." "And Rei's now missing, Asuka's lethargic, you're... I don't think I even have an adjective to describe it, and Shinji's in some _deep_shit_." "But... what did I do?" Shinji asked, genuinely confused. "That doesn't count. I allowed it," Misato said. 'Oh shit...' "Well, let's see," Ritsuko said, almost visibly preparing a mental list to tick items off. "You slept with Rei, thus angering Asuka, not to mention being just plain indecent. Hence the first fight, the fight at school, the additive fighting at school, the apartment exploding, and the people exploding. And I'll probably find a way to pin the school's explosion down to you eventually." "Technically... it'd all be my fault," Misato cut in. "How is that, Major?" "Because I let the two sleep together. I'm the one that... well... agreed to it." "And why didn't I know this?!" Ritsuko asked, sweatdropping and turning an impressive shade of Unit Two red. Misato and Shinji glanced at one another, then stated flatly, "Because you were stone-smashing drunk at the time. That's why." "Well... that... that's still no excuse!" Ritsuko replied, blushing. "You should've told me!" "Hold up to it, Ritsuko. There's nothing to be done here, and you know it." "That's not logical, Major." "What? I let them stay in the same bed. No one can be held responsible for the results. What would you call them? Ummm... variable? Yes, that's it. Anything can happen." "And just who gives a _damn_ about your logic anyway?" Shinji seethed. "This is life, and you can't just control it with logic because it _helps_you_! I'm the one in the line of fire every time it comes to saving humanity from those damned Angels. The _least_ you could do is try not to make it any _more_ difficult on me!" Both Hikari and Asuka promptly sweatdropped, taken aback by the sudden outburst from the normally passive Shinji Ikari. "We cannot allow unsupervised Children to throw themselves about in this manner! We need you all to be able to work _together_ when the Angels attack, not be so wrapped up in your squabbles that you can't tell a progressive knife from a... a... a God damn _palette_rifle_!" Ritsuko shot back. "How else will we learn who we are?" Asuka asked quietly. "You're the only three with a chance to save humanity. That's who you are, and that's what you'll do. Understand?" Ritsuko asked, fixing Asuka with a dark glower. "You're the one!" Hikari said, eyes flashing in realization. "What?" came the simultaneous response from everyone else. "You're the one who made him pilot that thing, aren't you?" "No, that was someone else's stroke of genius. I just had the good sense to play along. I assume you've heard the old adage about the needs of the many." Hikari stood and stepped right in front of Ritsuko, staring down at her darkly, followed by a slap that would most probably have spun Akagi to the floor had she not been seated. "We're not sacrifices to God "What?" Misato asked, rather surprised. "You're right, of course. You aren't sacrifices to some God. You are sacrifices for Humanity to _become_ God," Ritsuko answered, grinning devilishly. "Seventeen Angels to test mankind's worth before Instrumentality may begin. God just wants to see if we're really ready, because if we're not, we're gone, and it all starts over." She shrugged. "Maybe it'll work out better next time." Hikari recoiled. "You're insane." "Oh no, not yet. My name isn't Naoko. I still have my mind, as much as it pains me. Haven't you ever wanted to work towards a greater purpose, girl? Something larger than yourself?" "Life as it is. I don't even know what you're talking about." "I'm talking about making man achieve the ultimate greatness," Ritsuko replied. "Separate, we're all flawed, but together... together, we can do anything. That's Instrumentality. Bringing everyone together to make _everything_ possible." "So you'll just crush everyone in together to fill the gaps?" Misato asked. "Too late to back out now, Misato." 'Like hell it is...' "You know..." Ritsuko began, before Shinji cut her off. "The Angels will just keep coming. We can't stop them. And after that, it's all done and we have Instrumentality. Either we pass the test, or we fail and are destroyed. Either way, we can't get out. Don't you see, Misato-san? My father has left us with two bad choices." Shinji grimaced. 'Damn him...' Misato, suddenly out of place, smiled brightly. "Then we'll make a third! We're being offered nothing but his rules, and we can't win with them, so we'll make some new ones!" "How?" Ritsuko and Shinji asked as one. "Do you want to put a stop to this?" Misato asked, the grin still spread across her face. "I'm asking everyone here." Silence reigned for a few moments. "I can't destroy it..." Shinji said quietly. "I won't destroy it," Ritsuko put in. As Asuka lay silent, Hikari finally spoke again. "How?" "We'll talk tomorrow, then." "This is _insane_," Shinji and Asuka spoke together. Ritsuko stared silently at Misato. 'What is she up to?' All of a sudden, Misato's smile became a very devious grin. "Oh Ritsuko, dear... We'll need to have a little chat with Kaji-kun once he gets here." "...Misato?" "Oh, give it up. You're not the only one who planned on party crashing tonight." Asuka, as Misato's little speech ended, stood up. "Just where do you think you're going?" Misato asked sharply. "To my room. What else is there?" "We're not done yet. Sit back down. _Now_!" Asuka sullenly sat back down, knees clutched to her chest, her bangs hanging over her eyes. "And there's still the question of what happened after Hikari left. You two obviously weren't at each other's throats by the time I arrived, which, needless to say, is hardly what I expected. I want the truth. _All_ of it." "Nothing happened," Asuka replied coldly. "No bullshit, Asuka," Misato and Ritsuko stated simultaneously, glaring at her effectively. "I said nothing happened," Asuka reasserted. "And I say you're full of it," Misato countered. The mask of quiet broke suddenly, flooding the room with the sound of a very loud, shouted reply from Asuka. "God damn it! I told you that _NOTHING_HAPPENED_, so just _leave_me_ALONE_!" 'It's none of your business... not yours...' During, as before the outburst, Shinji's face was impassive, as though etched in stone. "You're hiding something, Asuka. You wouldn't break out like that if you weren't." Misato watched the girl carefully. "Like hell I wouldn't. Why won't you just leave me alone?! You never gave a damn about what happened to me before... you and Kaji both," she said hotly, clenching her fists. "Anything you don't like you think you can control instead. There's nothing to control here. Just LEAVE ME ALONE!" Instead of pressing the Second further, Misato rounded on Shinji. "Okay, Shinji. Let's have it. I'm not going to beat around this one." Shinji stared at the two for a couple of moments, then stood. "Nothing happened," he said simply, then proceeded to turn and walk to his room without another regard for anyone. As he left, Misato screamed in frustration and lunged at the kitchen in a near-panic. The sounds of a full six-pack of Yebisu going down were _more_ than evident. Back in the living room, Ritsuko regarded Asuka coolly. "Asuka, the truth. Now. I'll have it either way, but you don't _have_ to make this difficult." "I said... to leave me alone..." Asuka said, voice wavering as she got to her feet. "So just do that." As she finished speaking, she headed into her own room and shut the door. As that happened, Misato re-entered the living room. "Hikari, I'm tempted to find a good length of rope and tie you up until I get the truth from someone... and I haven't decided not to yet, so you better get _someone_ to fess up." Hikari quickly backed out of the room. 'Not for you.' Ritsuko, seemingly out of place, began applauding. "Damn it! Ritsuko, get the rope." Ritsuko simply continued to applaud. "Ritsuko, rope. Now. Or I'm going to punch you in the head." Instead of moving, Ritsuko laughed. "You think I'm still drunk! Hardly, Misato! I'm only congratulating you on alienating the three of them. Not only are any plans you're considering practically shot, but chances are you're inducing states of fear and disgust toward you in all three of them. Excellent role model!" As soon as she was sure that Ritsuko was _quite_ finished, Misato leveled her with a square right jab to the jaw. Ritsuko moaned, rubbing her jaw, but laughed all the same. "And now you're going to take your stress out on me? Not very bright, Misato. All you have left is Kaji, Hyuuga, Aoba, Ibuki, Fuyutsuki, and Commander Ikari. Less Ikari, probably." Her voice turned deadly serious. "You're handling this improperly." "Get out," Misato said quietly. "I don't need a lecture on handling problems from someone who confesses all of their pains to porcelain cats, now do I..." "Forget it. You're going to sit down in the kitchen and eat the supper I prepared whether you want to or not. Go ahead and hit me again if you want to, but first take a good look at yourself and see where the real problem is." Ritsuko turned slowly and walked to the kitchen, leaving her friend in the living room. Misato shook her head slowly, then walked softly to Shinji's room and opened the door without so much as a knock. Shinji, however, was completely engrossed, earphones in his ears, lying stretched out on his stomach, head facing away from the door. She walked softly to the bed and sat on the corner closest to the door, waiting for an acknowledgement from the music-drowned teenager. After about a minute, he finally responded. "What?" he asked. "Shinji, I need to say something to you, but only if you're ready to hear it. Okay?" "What is it? Another restriction on what we can or can't do? Another thing to control us?" he asked. 'What makes you think _anything_ you say has any value anymore?' "No, it's... nothing like that. It's just that... I'm sorry for how I acted earlier... and for letting them rope you into this in the first place. Eva is a curse, Shinji... a curse that no one who is unwilling should have to face... and I should've stopped them from forcing you... but, I couldn't. I was too busy trying to cover my own sorry self to even realize anything about you... what you felt. I am sorry, Shinji... more than you could think possible right now... but I am." With that, her head came down until her chin was against her breastbone. "Do you expect me to believe you?" he asked quietly. "After all of the lies and secrets, I'm just supposed to say, 'Hey, it's all right.'?" "_You've_ been lied to? Aren't we forgetting who spent two years curled up like a silent human rolly-polly because she witnessed Second Impact and didn't even know what caused it?" Misato sobbed softly. "You know enough to hate the fact that people kept secrets from you... and still do... But I... I... I know enough to fear the secrets they still keep from me." Tears fell silently from her eyes as she continued. "It's much worse than you think, Shinji-kun. _Much_ worse... and I would protect you from it if I _could_... but I don't think that's possible... not anymore." "You change attitudes to succeed at whatever you want, don't you? You don't care what happens to people like me... you're just another one of _them_." "If you don't want to believe me, fine. That's your right. But after I talk with Kaji tonight, I should have scheduled a way to break down a lot of those secrets NERV has been keeping. If you want your proof, then you'll be welcome to come. That is, if you can ever get passed the possibility that it could all just be contrived bullshit." She stood and walked to the door slowly. 'Kaji? Can I trust him?' he though, then spoke, "God only knows." Misato knew that tone. The conversation was over. "Is there anyone I should let come in, or would you rather just be left alone?" "Anyone who wants to," Shinji replied quietly. "Not that anyone _will_..." "Okay," she said, closing the door behind her and heading for the kitchen. "Well, it's about damned time!" Ritsuko complained as soon as Misato stepped into the room. "I thought I told you to leave." "And I told you that you were going to eat supper whether you wanted to or not." Misato sat quickly. "How do I know it's not poisoned?" "Because _you_ didn't cook it." The Major mumbled something under her breath. "So, did you have a nice talk with Ikari-kun?" "Just peachy," Katsuragi grumbled. "So I'll assume you're still intact, except for your pride. That's good. It'd never do for Kaji-kun to see you a ball of tears." Misato didn't bother to reply, which was fortunate, for Ryouji took that moment to appear in the doorway. "Speak of the devil," the two women muttered together. "Well, if it isn't the two loveliest ladies of NERV. And how are we this evening? Something to set the mood?" he asked, pulling a bottle of sake from his jacket. Misato promptly threw a glass, followed by a sake bowl at him, both shattering at his feet. "Did I say something wrong?" "You just picked a bad day. Though Misa-chan here could use..." Ritsuko replied, shutting up as she ducked to avoid a sake glass. "Give me the bottle." Misato growled. "I don't think that would be wise," Ryouji replied hesitantly. Misato rose from the table and walked by him, grabbing the bottle as she did so. In an instant, Ryouji Kaji had whirled around and caught her by something that most certainly wasn't customary to catch hold of in public, pulling her to a stop. "You're not leaving." She smiled slightly, rubbing against him for a few moments, then proceeded to kick him in the groin, sending him to the floor in a heap, groaning in a higher-than-usual tone. As he did, Misato walked to the balcony and held the bottle out over the railing. Ryouji limped after her, headed for the bottle. "Don't throw that!" "Goodbye," Misato replied, releasing the bottle and walking away. A few moments from the release, a loud crash was apparent, followed by glass splintering everywhere and a cry from a lone boy of, "AAAHHH! MY CAMERA!" Ritsuko, meanwhile, was using the door frame as a support as she laughed. "Thank God that was the cheap stuff..." "Since when did you resort to 250-yen sake, Kaji-chan?" Misato asked deprecatingly. "Since I knew you might shoot it out the door!" he replied, still somewhat wide-eyed. "Kaji, could you talk to Shinji for me?" "What... looking for a date?" Ryouji asked jokingly. Misato promptly shoved him through the door. "You were right, Ritsuko... she really could use a good..." Misato thus proceeded to slap him across the face, then push him in the direction of the kitchen. "I didn't come here to be slapped around..." Ryouji grumbled. "You knew the risk. Maybe you can slap me around later," she said, grinning suddenly. "However, that's later. Basically, I just managed to screw over two-thirds of the pilot corps." --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Ryouji Kaji: Which one's a lesbian? --- 'And she'll screw over the other third if _she_ shows up.' Ritsuko thought sullenly, already seated in the kitchen. "... So, I need you to help me fix _that_, and I still need those _codes_." "Codes? What codes?" "You _know_ what codes," Misato replied threateningly. "Codes?" Ritsuko asked, confused. "Yeah, yeah," Ryouji agreed. "Already got them, don't worry. What'd you do?" "Worried too much, as usual," Misato replied softly. "You'll have to explain it to me a little more..." "Then we'll do it over dinner. I'm not reheating this again!" "Excellent idea. That's an itch I wouldn't mind scratching." "I have no control," Misato said, sighing. "Okay, so what's going on?" Ryouji asked as he reentered the kitchen. ------------------------------------ In the hallway outside the main apartment shared by Misato and company, Hikari paced, no longer in her normal, cheery mood. In her anger, she idly stomped down the hall. "And just who does she think she is, anyway?! I went to all that work to do damage control on this forsaken situation, and she has to go and blow it all up in my face!" She quickly put on a mask of smiling calm as Ryouji Kaji appeared and poked his head in the front door. As soon as he was in and the door closed, she continued. "I'll be damned before I let her destroy my friends!" Ryouji ducked in quickly at that, disappearing in the direction of the kitchen without even awaiting an invitation. "Oops..." she said, continuing to pick her way randomly down the hall. "This is all insane..." she swore, arriving at the door to Shinji's room and looking up. "Got to start somewhere," she affirmed, peeking in. "Hello?" Silence. "Hello?" Silence again, so she stepped in quietly. "Hello?" "Yeah, who is it?" Shinji asked, his music audible to Hikari from where she stood several feet away. "It's Hikari. You can turn the volume down," she said. 'And choose something that isn't so... grating.' Instead, Shinji simply shut the SDAT off, and lay on his bed, unmoving. "What do you want?" "Just to talk." "I have ears. Go ahead." "First of all, cut it with the attitude," she commanded sternly. "It may work with all of them, but it's not going to work with me. Got that?" "Yes, I get it. I'm listening." "What's happening?" Hikari asked simply. Shinji replied, in a seeming non-sequitur, "You're not here to kiss me, are you?" "Err... no..." "You sure?" Shinji asked, almost coldly, though also tinged with a strange hope. "You always could, you know. It would fit perfectly with the way the rest of my day has been going..." Without a reply first, Hikari walked from the door to him, leant down, and kissed his cheek softly, then sat on the edge of the bed, nearly exactly the spot Misato had occupied only minutes before. "So, I'm assuming something _did_ happen after I left besides more fighting." "I'll tell you this much... It sure wasn't more fighting." "You kissed her, didn't you?" Hikari asked, not sure why. "After she tripped me and pinned me to the ground," he replied. "Why did she do that?" "You'd have to ask her. Still, I'm the one who started the kissing, so it's _my_ fault." "Then why did you do it?" "To keep her from leaving... because I could... but what makes me hate it is the fact that I _wanted_ to. Damn it all!" 'That sounds... familiar.' Hikari thought. "How do you feel about her?" "How should I know?" he asked softly, and continued in the same. "Damn... I care about Rei. _Rei_, who said she wanted to become one with me, body, mind, and soul... and I here I am as faithless as---" "How was she acting?" Hikari interrupted him. "Scared and hurt, I guess... and... well," he swallowed. Hard. "Inviting." After a moment's silence, Hikari proceeded. "So, what differentiates her from Rei?" "She isn't Rei, and I'm not really comfortable around her." "Then what made you kiss her? If anything else..." "How the hell should I know?" Shinji shot back defensively. "Maybe I just wanted to see if it was any different when your nose wasn't pinched shut, I don't know!" "This isn't a game, Shinji," Hikari replied calmly. "Think about it before you answer." "I don't know. Nothing makes sense!" "You're saying, 'I don't know' as soon as I'm finished speaking. Now just stop for a minute, and think." The two sat in silence for several long moments before Shinji finally moaned softly and replied. "What the hell am I supposed to do? Convert to Mormonism?" He promptly blushed bright red, shaking his head as Hikari gave him an efficient 'don't give me that crap' look. "Hikari... if you want your answers, talk to Asuka. She and I... We've already discussed it," Shinji said finally. "Do you know why I'm here?" Hikari asked. "It's because I'm trying to help you right now. It's your choice whether you accept or not." She rose slowly to her feet. "Do you want my help?" "I don't see how asking me any of this helps _me_ at all." "Let's put it this way, then," Hikari said, sitting back down. "Do you care about Rei?" "Would I have been berating myself over what happened between me and Asuka otherwise? Of course I do." "Why?" "I don't know _why_. I just know that I _do_. You've been around me long enough to know it's almost impossible for me to put words to what I feel, or why I feel it when it's something emotional." "Whatever it is, do you feel the same about Asuka... in that way?" "The way I feel... It would only hurt her, and I don't want her hurt now... ever," Shinji replied, frowning. Hikari leaned over, whispering in his ear. "You want to be her friend, is that it?" "Something like that, yes... But even with that, you know how Asuka is..." Shinji replied, more than simply uncertainly. "Desirable?" Hikari suggested. "Even after everything... all of this... I can't deny it," he admitted. "But that isn't your problem, really, is it? It's her way of handling things she wants, isn't it?" "That, and even then, there's still Rei. I can't have them both, not in the way either of them would want from me, nor I them... but to please one means to deny the other." "You have to be true to yourself. You can't treat them like toys. They're people." "There. You have it all, right there. I don't want to _mis_-treat them. You see..." 'I know the problem,' she thought. "At least your heart's in the right place." "The only thing my 'heart' is doing is hurting people. Don't you understand that?" "Do you think life is _easy_? That everything will work out? That hardly ever happens... it's something to be expected, especially in a situation like this." "I can hurt one, or hurt both... and either way, myself gets an invitation to the dance of pain." 'This sucks!' "Sucks, doesn't it..." Shinji moved to speak, then refrained. "Do you know what your problem is, Shinji?" His eyes lost their light. "Please, enlighten me." "You're too considerate of others," she said, then continued more quietly. "It shouldn't have to be that way." "It's part of who I am. It wouldn't be this way if I weren't me, because they'd either see something different in me, or wouldn't even care about me at all." He shrugged. "It's because of who they are that they do care. You shouldn't regret it." "It isn't being _me_ that I regret. It's that it hurts people... that's what really hurts me..." "Being you doesn't hurt people. All you see is what goes _wrong_. have you ever stopped to consider what's gone right?" Hikari asked gently. "Not enough, I'm afraid." "Well, what has?" she pressed. "The fact that I'm still alive, for one," Shinji dead panned. Hikari promptly smacked him one. Shinji brought his hand to his face to cover the bright red hand print. "Ow..." "Now try again." "Let's try the fact that we're _all_ not dead yet." Hikari's hand came back again, and Shinji flinched. "Nothing else _is_ right, as far as I'm concerned. Misato-san's gone off on a control binge, something happened that was enough to make Ritsuko-san get herself drunk... the Angels aren't getting any weaker, and I don't even want to _start_ on this whole situation with Rei and Soryuu. Not to mention my ever-present father..." Shinji frowned. "Go ahead and smack me! Just wail the tar out of me right here! I couldn't give a damn right now." "Try to get some things in perspective," Hikari said gently. "Apparently, you care for Rei, and so you spent time with her. Asuka's reactions weren't your fault, or Rei's. They were her own. Those are her choices, not yours, so stop feeling guilty about everything that happens that just _happens_ to involve you!" "That's just it. I _am_ guilty for everything I do. If I could just find a way not to care who I hurt... No, I wouldn't be me, then. ... Burn it all! They'll have what I can give, and no more... and if it hurts them, then this is one they brought on themselves! My pain is mine, and it's staying that way." He ended with a very dark-looking smile creasing his lips. Hikari simply shook her head. "No one can live like that. I said the same thing to Asuka before, about keeping everything inside. Do you see where it got her? Do you see how it's affected everyone? Is that what you want, Shinji? You have all of these people around you who want to help you. You shouldn't reject them," she chided, taking his hand, her voice growing more distant. "I'm one. It's your choice what you want to do, Shinji. Just let me know what it is. Please?" "Hikari, you should just go. I don't want to hurt you... not anyone at all, but I will, given half a chance... and I won't even realize it until it's over and done." Hikari stood for the second time. "You said before... that Rei wished to become one with you. What did you say to her?" "I... agreed," he admitted, staring at the ground. "And you feel that strongly about her?" Shinji still didn't look up. "You see the problem, don't you..." "Would you have said that to her... if you didn't mean it?" At that, he glared up at her indignantly. "Of course not. I can't even begin to put words to what I feel for Rei, or when I'm with her." "Then, Shinji... I think you know where you stand." She slowly walked to the door. 'I think you know what you have to do.' "...Hikari?" She turned around slowly. "Yes, Shinji?" "When you see Asuka... tell her that I need to talk to her... when she's ready. You'll know when that is." He added a weak smile. "All right," she agreed, resting her hand on the door. "Anything else?" "Yeah, one other thing. Warn me if Misato-san ever cools off this evening. She and I need to talk, too. I have a few things to say that she needs to hear." "You're making some choices?" Hikari asked, turning from the door. "Better than trying to live with myself if I don't." Hikari gave the matter a moment's consideration, then walked back to him and gently kissed his other cheek, the one with the hand print still etched upon it. "Congratulations." She headed slowly for the door once again. "Have a good evening, Hikari," Shinji said, blushing lightly. 'At least one of us will.' "I will," she replied, opening the door and walking out. "Yours will be better." With that, the door was closed. "Well, I hope that helped him..." she said, walking away. 'He doesn't have to be in pain... hope he took that the right way... and the wrong one.' From outside came the screamed cry of "MY CAMERA!" "Huh?" Hikari mumbled. "Oh, my camera... my film! It's all _ruined_!" Kensuke could be heard moaning. "Kensuke?" she asked quietly from the hallway, then hid quickly as she watched Misato walk back into her apartment, followed by a slower, and groaning, Ryouji, with gales of laughter coming from Ritsuko who was already in the kitchen. Hikari quickly snuck out the main entrance and walked to the edge, looking down. "Kensuke? What are you doing down there?" The only reply that came was his weeping over a bruised hunk of metal and plastic, and shards of broken glass. 'That _was_ Kensuke...' she thought to herself, unable to see him, but sure he was there _somewhere_. "Whoever did that is in mega trouble!" he called up. "It was Misato!" Hikari called back. 'Probably...' "Class Rep? What are you doing up there? Is Shinji okay?" "Take the elevator!" Hikari called back. "Up in a minute!" Kensuke disappeared into the apartment building, leaving Hikari hanging precariously over the railing, from which she quickly extricated herself. "Good afternoon, Class _Rep_!" Kensuke said brightly from right behind her. "Afternoon?" Hikari asked. "It's about eight at night!" "Same thing, especially on a non-school night. Besides, it's always afternoon somewhere." He grinned heartily. "Well, don't you sound just _thrilled_ about the school being blown to bits..." Hikari gave him an especially flat look. "I'd be happier if Misato hadn't managed to ruin my disk. I had some stuff on there that you wouldn't even believe. Well, anyway... how did you manage to wind up here? What's been going on?" "Well?" he pressed as she remained silent. "Sit down," she ordered, walking past him quietly to a bench. "We need to talk. Badly." Kensuke leaned against the wall gently next to her. "Well then, let's talk." "There're a few more problems than just the school at the moment," she began. "Like what?" Kensuke asked slowly. "Briefly: Shinji, Rei, Asuka, Ms.Katsuragi, Dr.Akagi, and NERV." "Can I get individual information in any particular order?" Over the course of the next fifteen minutes, Hikari proceeded to generalize on the events of the day, bringing everything from cries of joy to very impressive sweatdrops from Kensuke. "I, but... that is... That's impossible! Asuka and Shinji didn't... But Rei's gonna... God, this is a _mess_!" he said, tacking on another impressive sweatdrop once she had finished. "I think that's the last thing to worry about," Hikari replied softly. "I've already spoken to Shinji, and I need to talk to Asuka. As "That's even worse..." "I need to go see Asuka. You should leave Shinji alone for a while. He needs to sort a few things out." Hikari glided toward the door to Asuka's room. "If you say so..." "Misato's in the kitchen. You can bug her about your camera in there," Hikari said quietly, opening the door and stepping in. "I may just do that..." Kensuke mused, heading for the main entrance to the apartment which had remained open all this time. ------------------------------------ Asuka quietly slipped a loose-fitting yellow T-shirt over her bare skin, adjusting the blue shorts she had just changed into prior. Her body fell back-first to the bed, tears welling in what had once been beautiful blue flames now extinguished by her present state of mind. "Gott Wei=DF... I... I'll never get him after _that_. Damn Misato..." She finished with a whisper, her only means of controlling her cracking voice. She raised her hand to her face, brushing her lips softly with her fingertips. She continued whispering softly. "He let me... I still care... but... I..." She regained her voice, but it no longer held the strength that it once had. "He can't just expect to give me _that_, and let it go at nothing. He just _can't_!" "I don't want to hurt him... I don't want to..." she repeated softly. Her hand fell from her face, drawing a path down her cheek and coming to rest upon her breast. "I didn't feel comfortable when he did that, yet I wanted it. How come?" "Am I so weak that I fear even what I want? I don't want to be weak... not in my eyes. And not in his," She covered her face with her hands. "I need to see him... but I don't want to hurt him. He's already hurt," Her next words were but a whisper, audible only to the wind. "Because of me." "What is wrong with me?... I hate myself." "Why do I hurt this badly?" She raised her arm above her, softly clenching her hand into it fist. After a few moments of soft shaking, it quickly opened, following onto her stomach, unable to keep its form. "Am I wrong to want... something pleasant?" "Why can't I have it?" Again her tone fell, as tears began to streak down her eyes, tears she didn't want to accept. "I'm weak, but I don't care. Shinji... I want your help... please..." Asuka turned her head into her pillow crying softly, alone in her misery. ------------------------------------ When Kensuke arrived in the doorway, all three adults were well into their repast. He knocked on the wall at the entrance to the kitchen, then spoke. "Katsuragi-san?" "Oh, Aida-kun? Come on in." 'More people than usual,' he thought as he strode in. "So, _this_ is Kensuke Aida. You were on board the UN Pacific Fleet flagship when the Sixth Angel attacked, weren't you?" Ryouji asked, grinning away. "Aren't you the guy who..." Kensuke shook his head. "I missed getting you on film!" "That's quite all right," Ryouji replied, laughing. "I'll pose, if you'd like... or didn't you bring your camera?" "Actually, that's why I'm here." "Oh really?" Ryouji asked. "Yes," he said, turning to Misato. "Major Misato Katsuragi..." 'He wants to pilot another Eva.' "I would respectfully ask you to please replace my camera." Misato was quickly struck dumb. "Re... replace... your what?" "You shot a bottle of wine at me, which I had to jump out of the way of to avoid being killed outright by the sheer velocity of it." he explained. 'It was cheap wine, too...' "My camera, along with a disk, was completely totaled." "Misato, you really do need to learn to curb your destructive tendencies..." 'Wow... that's Ritsuko. I'd forgotten what good competition she was for Misato.' "I'll replace it... somehow. Lord knows how bad salaries at NERV suck..." "Thank you," Kensuke replied, fingering the other disk in his pocket. "But seriously, Kaji-kun... I do need you to talk to Shinji for me." 'I could learn something if I keep my mouth shut,' Kensuke thought. "Yes, yes..." Ryouji said, shaking a disk. "Unbelievable." "You wouldn't need him to do this if you hadn't gone flying off the handle earlier, Misato. Wringing confessions is an art. Its chosen instrument is a scalpel, not a broadsword," Ritsuko said, smirking. "Though a broadsword would probably cut the tension much more easily," Ryouji added. Ritsuko promptly _glared_ broadswords at him. "Thank you, Kaji, but you're not helping." "Am I so far your better, Ritsu-chan, that you refuse to refer to me by my first name?" Ryouji took the opportunity to steal the smirk from her lips and plaster it on his own. "Like I'm going to learn anything from these children..." Kensuke sweated. "What was that, Aida-kun?" Misato asked, smiling sweetly. "What!" he snapped to attention, then coughed. "Err... nothing important, Katsuragi-san." 'Did I say that out loud?' "What I _can_ teach is one thing... what I will is another. Unlike Ritsuko here, I still have some scruples," Misato replied, grinning as she elbowed Ritsuko in the ribs. 'Oh, geez...' Ritsuko groaned inwardly. "So, I have a question." Kensuke said slowly. "And I have an answer," Misato replied. "Let's see if they match." "Well... erm... why did the school go.. you know..." he indicated an explosion. "Boom." "Well, that was the JSSDF's fault. We're not sure why..." "Well, I'm sure you'll find out," Kensuke replied quickly, sweating. "Yes, I'm sure we will." "Where's Shinji?" Kensuke asked, trying his best to sound innocent, but not _too_ innocent. "Shinji's in his room." "Thank you," Kensuke said. "I'll just excuse myself, then." As he left, he neglected to notice the disk falling out of his jacket pocket. Thankfully for him, so did the women. "Any _other_ questions should be directed to Ritsuko!" Misato called after him, grinning deviously. "Such as what?" Kensuke asked, throwing the question over his shoulder. "Oh, you'll know if you think of it," Misato chided. With that, Kensuke disappeared down the hall. "Well, that was fun," Misato stated. 'No one ever said she got points for being normal...' "Well, Ritsu-chan, no one in their right mind ever said that she was 'normal'," Ryouji commented, grinning "Heh," Ritsuko replied. "Ritsuko, you don't know that boy. He just might if you give him half a chance." 'Deaf too, apparently.' she thought. "Just might what?" "Oh, come on. You're not _that_ innocent!" "Maybe not, but I'm not _that_dirty_, either." "Your call." Misato shrugged. "Hmmm..." Ryouji murmured. "Yes?" Misato asked. "What's that?" Ryouji asked, pointing at the wall. "What's what?" both women asked, looking at the wall he had indicated. As they were both preoccupied, he reached out and pocketed the disk Kensuke had dropped. _He_ had noticed it falling out of Kensuke's pocket. "Ah, my mistake. It was just the limelight from the two most strikingly-beautiful women in NERV reflecting off of the wall." Both promptly rolled their eyes. "You wouldn't happen to have a digital disk player somewhere, would you?" he asked smoothly. "In my room, my laptop. Why?" "Well..." he said, pulling out a different disk. "I have something that I need to look over. Mind if I go on ahead?" "Oh, feel free. We'll still be here. Just don't be surprised if we're down to the cheap stuff by the time you get back," Misato replied, grinning knowingly. "Aren't you funny..." he said, walking away into Misato's room. "Too bad you won't get any of the good stuff!" "Oh, I'll be in... in just a bit." She mocked a shy smile. 'A "normal" relationship. How... irregular,' Ritsuko thought. ------------------------------------ Ryouji casually walked into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. The eternal smile disappeared from his face as a serious expression took control of his visage. He walked directly to her desk. "I'm counting on that you don't Misa-chan. That kid was hiding something..." He slipped the confiscated disk out of his pocket as he sat down at her desk, slipping it into her computer which was already turned on. "This should suit nicely. Now, what have we here...?" After typing upon the keys for a few moments, the sounds of the disk being accessed could be heard from the terminal. --------- BEGIN DIGITAL VIDEO DISK PLAYBACK --------- "This is life without Angels. And peaceful, too. Probably the only serene shot Kensuke has in his collection," Shinji said with a wide grin. "And wants," Rei added, smiling lightly and taking Shinji's hand. "It is different. How often it will happen... is a different explanation." "Perfect! You're a natural, Rei," Kensuke said. When Rei nodded agreement, he continued, "Now I think I'm gonna leave you two alone... since you already have plans. Later, Shinji." ---------- END DIGITAL VIDEO DISK PLAYBACK ---------- Ryouji blinked. "Somehow, he didn't strike me as the kind to tape something like that..." He replayed the scene once more, letting the screen flicker blankly afterward. His serious demeanor remained intact. "Those two were smiling. Lord only _knows_ what that means, but I could fathom a few guesses... just based on Shinji. And Rei, for that matter." A smile crossed his lips at that moment. "So, she wants me to talk to him? From what I heard, he might be surprised to hear something positive." The screen began to flicker fiercely. Ryouji ejected the disk from his computer, quietly slipping the disk back into his pocket. He had left the room but a moment later. ------------------------------------ Ryouji walked back into the kitchen form the hall, frowning. "I can't _believe_ I paid money for that." He imitated a grumble impressively. "Something wrong?" Misato asked. "Nah, the disk was just bad." "Anyway..." Misato shrugged. "We have a few other things we need to discuss..." "For instance?" "Well, you see..." she stopped suddenly. "We have to have dessert first! Did you make anything, dear friend?" "Coming right up! You'd be amazed at what you can do with a variety of instant foods..." Ritsuko scrambled away. Ryouji forced a smile. 'The sooner I get out of here... the better.' ------------------------------------ From the doorway, Hikari saw Asuka lying on her side, facing the wall, looking none the better for life in general. "This absolutely _sucks_!" Asuka whispered to herself. "What does?" "Nothing. Go away, please..." Asuka sighed, then continued in a lower voice. "Why does everyone else have to get involved?" "Why wouldn't your friends get involved?" 'Twenty-twenty hearing...' Asuka thought acidly. "It's not your concern." "You're my friend. That makes it my concern," Hikari asserted. 'Besides, I can't let Shinji see you, much less talk to you, when you're like this...' "You make everything your concern," Asuka said, scrunching up more. "Just leave me alone. Don't... be another Misato..." "Asuka, Shinji wants to talk to you, but he said not to let you come unless you were over _this_." She indicated Asuka's condition with a vague gesture. "...And how is he?" "He's being Shinji. Still trying to blame everything on himself, as per usual..." "He's Shinji..." Asuka said, tightening her grip on herself. "That's who he is." "And someone you care for, at that." She smiled, knowing Asuka couldn't see it. "Now you acknowledge it. Why?" "Because he admitted as much about you," came the straight reply. "I know..." she said, loosening her grip. "I know." "I think that's what he wants to talk to you about, too." Asuka, for once, remained silent. "Asuka, I really can't say anything besides that. What he has to say to you, he didn't say to me." "When..." Asuka said, turning over, bangs still shading her eyes. "When what?" "When does he want to speak to me?" "When you're not acting quite so down by all of this," Hikari said. "And you expect everything to blow over my head?" "Certainly not. I just want to make sure you're ready for what he has to say." Asuka eyed her somewhat suspiciously. "The way you make it sound... as if you already know what he'll say." Hikari steeled herself against the oncoming lie. "I wish I did," she said. "It would save time, and probably some pain and worry, too." "I don't want..." Asuka cut herself off. "What don't you want?" Hikari pressed. "...to lose him. Not now... not like this..." Mentally, Hikari shuddered. "The only way to find out is to ask him for yourself. That's one thing that I can't help you with." She walked to the edge of Asuka's bed and sat down. Asuka shook her head softly. "I'm screwed up." "No, you're not. You've just been trying to live." "Then that's what I botched." "How? By being you?" Hikari asked pointedly. "Yes. Heh... it's because of who I am that I lose everything I want... It's because of who I am that I hate myself. It's because of who I am that... that he actually gives a damn about me..." At that, she began crying softly, tears coming without sound to match. "If you know he cares about you, you know that he wouldn't hurt you intentionally. I know he wouldn't, Asuka. I just heard it from him myself... a few minutes ago." "I just wanted to... be near..." she whispered, still crying. "I know, Asuka..." "I didn't want to hurt him... but he let himself... because of me." "It was an experience he wanted too, you know." Hikari waited a bit through Asuka's silence, then continued. "Don't you see? You didn't hurt him." "...then what... happened?" "What do you mean, 'What happened?'?" "You said that I didn't hurt him, so what did I do?" she asked quietly. "Why did he do that?" "Do what?" "He wasn't bringing me pain..." Asuka said, more to herself than to Hikari. "Asuka, you're not making sense. What did Shinji do?" "I couldn't leave... that's the only thing that would've hurt..." Hikari laid down gently next to Asuka, wrapping her arms around the still-crying girl. "You didn't hurt him," she whispered. "He kissed me... because... he said he cared about me. Even after what I did... Why?" "Because he does care, and I don't think anything you could do would be able to change that." Hikari regarded the redhead softly. "If you don't want him to express care and concern like that, tell him. He won't hurt you intentionally." "...I needed it... I just don't want to hurt him anymore..." "And you _didn't_. Understand that. You _didn't_hurt_him_, Asuka." 'I would have... he would have forgotten her... but why should it even matter one God damn...' she thought, speaking parts aloud. "Because that _would_ have hurt him. You're kinder than you give yourself credit for, Asuka." Hikari drew the hug tight. After a break in silence, Hikari continued. "It's hard, isn't it?" "I don't want to lose him." "Whether or not you ever do depends on what changes to cause the loss," Hikari observed. "I'd like to kiss him again." "And nothing's stopping you. He certainly won't... though I might if you're not careful." Hikari promptly blushed into the oncoming silence. "Come on, Asuka..." Hikari kissed her on the cheek. "This isn't like you at all." "I thought you were the one who wanted me to change, who wanted to know me." "Asuka, you could give lessons to the Blarney stone, but a Phoenix you certainly are not. You have nothing to gain by destroying yourself in an attempt to remake yourself. It'll only hurt you more in the long run." "Who said I was destroying myself?" Asuka asked, pulling away and sitting on the edge of the bed. "I just know what's happening now... I don't control anything..." She rubbed her temples softly with her fingers. "It hurts..." "I think you should go talk to him now. That decision is something that you _can_ control." "...I'll go see him, and it'll hurt more..." she said, standing up. "Why is it like this?" Asuka walked softly to the door and pulled it open. "I don't know, Asuka. I really don't..." "Please, don't follow..." Asuka said, stepping through the doorway and sliding the door closed. As soon as she was sure Asuka was out of earshot, Hikari nodded, and then whispered, "Damn..." ------------------------------------ The SDAT played in a continuous loop, loudly filling Shinji's ears and Shinji's mind with its instruments, tones and words. He lay on his side with his arms spread in front of him, eyes gazing high toward the moon as it filled his room with its gentle light. 'This is not turning into a good day...' Shinji failed to acknowledge any reaction as Kensuke's head suddenly popped into the room, filling it with a strip of artificial light from the hallway the width of his head. "Ikari?" 'Lovely. What is this... the Shinji fan club?' he moaned within his mind. "Who is it?" he asked quietly, his eyes now closed. "It's Kensuke Aida," came Kensuke's reply, a grin traced upon his lips. "..." "What's got you so down?" he asked as he entered the room, entering the room and sliding the door behind himself. "You were happy last time I saw you." Shinji clamped a pillow over his head in response, never even turning toward Kensuke as he did so. Kensuke was just damn annoyed at this point. He marched over to Shinji's bed, ripping the pillow right out of his hands, receiving not so much as a glance from his eyes as he remained turned on his side. "What the hell are you doing hiding like a child in fear of being beaten?!" "So, you're going to try to fix my life too?" he asked monotonously, his voice quiet, almost transparent. "Hikari's already beaten you to it, and she might have done a decent job... I don't know right now." "If you have something to do, then do it," Kensuke muttered. "Hiding in here won't fix anything, and you damned well know it." "I already am doing something about it." "Like what?! Smashing your brain cells with whatever God-forsaken noise you have pouring out of those earphones all the time?" He pulled on the SDAT lying on the bed, pulling the earphones from Shinji's ears. He shut it off without so much as a complaint, placing it upon a desk. "She'll come, and we'll talk. And my other... she said so herself... she did... I have to find her..." He clutched his hands closer to his chest. The calmly spoken string of words sounded like pure delirium. "Maybe I really _had_ better be going..." Kensuke replied quietly, a look of nervousness, disgust, and compassion in his eyes as he edged toward the door, only managing to run smack into Asuka, buffered by the pillow he still clutched, coming to a dead stop right in front of her upon the impact. Asuka didn't even acknowledge what she normally would have considered to be Kensuke's perverted nature. She merely held a sullen look to his eyes, rubbing her cheek softly. "I'm... ummm... I was just leaving. Sorry, Asuka," he said quickly, dropping the pillow at their feet, slipping by her as he practically flew out the door. Asuka watched him disappear out the front door of the apartment. Her eyes lingered for but a moment longer, turning back to the room as she finished walking into it, sliding the door closed behind her. She picked up the pillow off the floor, hugging it to her softly as she quietly rested against the door. "...Hello, Asuka," Shinji said quietly as he turned in her direction, sitting up on the side of the bed, legs hanging over the edge. "Hello." "You've come to talk, I take it." "Yes." "Good. First things... What you did... didn't hurt me, so don't go getting any fool ideas of obligation to me over it." "..." "Does that make any sense?" he asked seriously. Asuka nodded silently. "You care about me because I'm me." He chuckled softly. "That's good, because it's the only buffer I have now." Asuka remained silent, watching him quietly from her point of vantage. "I know you care... and you know I do... but I can't be there like you need..." he stated. "...Or I want," he added quietly. He shook his head in resolve, looking at her firmly, gathering up his scattered courage. "I know it hurts, but you have a right to know. It _is_ Ayanami, the one I wish to become one with, body, mind, and soul. I can't give all to both of you..." He sighed. "I just _can't_..." A stray tear fell from his eye which he quickly wiped away. Asuka quietly walked to the bed, sitting down next to Shinji, never saying a word. "...You knew, didn't you..." he asserted quietly, eyes downcast to the floor as he continued to face the door. A hand slid over one of his which rested on the bed. He turned to face Asuka, who's gaze rested upon the bed as she spoke gently. "I know... b..." "But what?" He was quickly wrapped by her arms around his torso, her cheek resting on his shoulder. "I'm sorry..." "You don't need to be," he responded as he draped an arm around her shoulders. "You care about her that much?" "So much it hurts," he replied quietly, smiling faintly. "Shinji..." she said, her voice filling with its once known strength, firmness taking place of the fear. "I want to know... how you feel about me." "I care about you almost as much. I don't think that there's a term to describe what the difference is..." "Then how come it's her?" "Hikari asked me something similar... and I still don't have a good answer. Either way I go, I hurt _someone_. I'll be damned if I do, and I'll be damned if I don't, as the saying goes." 'I just know... that it is.' "Then you'll find out..." she said as she held him more tightly. "I'll find out what?" "Why it's her." "I don't follow..." "It's alright." Shinji shook his head. "No, it's not. To have her, I have to deny you... That's not all right. That's not right at all." "And if it were the other way around, you'd be saying the same thing, wouldn't you?" "Yes." Asuka nodded as best as she possibly could given that her head was on his shoulder. "This feeling sucks..." "Shinji...?" "I can't hate you, but I hate myself... for trying, for wanting to, and for failing," he replied as his voice nearly cracked, stifling a sob, though not his tears. "I hate me. You hate you. If Rei hates herself, then we all belong together," she sighed, making a poor attempt at humour. Shinji laughed almost uncontrollably, regaining his composure some thirty seconds later, chuckling even then. "Oh, that would be just _perfect_. We could be a threesome," he commented sarcastically, shuddering somewhat. "Misato'd have my head... if God only knows who else didn't get it first..." "I don't care about what Misato thinks, or anyone else who wants to stop it... it's just us... three... caught in the middle of everything..." she replied softly, boldly. Shinji blinked. "...You're serious, aren't you." Asuka remained quiet. "Well?" "We're caught in the middle of everything. What happens isn't anyone else's business." Shinji swallowed. "Then... we'll talk to Rei. And if my father tries to interfere in _any_ way, well... he's the one who made this screwed up situation possible, so he can take his thoughts on the matter and shove it for all I care." He couldn't resist grinning at the bold statement. "That wasn't what I meant," Asuka called softly. "I mean, it's not anyone else who decides. You decided Rei, that's your choice. Not Misato's, not Ritsuko's, not his. Yours. It doesn't concern them, is all." "You really are resigned to this, aren't you..." "Anything can happen," she expressed. "This is just how it is, right now." "Even if this does change..." He shook his head. "I don't know." Asuka shook her head softly, speaking quietly, as if to herself. "Just tonight... it's all I ask for..." "Tonight what?" Shinji blinked. "Can I stay near you tonight?" she inquired peacefully. "I couldn't conceive saying no," he responded as he smiled softly. 'Misato's going to have a coronary... though if she was able to live through last night, this shouldn't be anything...' "I'm just going to stay near you, after. Nothing else." She squeezed him softly, her words just as soft. "I'm sorry to do this to you." "You couldn't ask less." He smiled once more. "Can I ask for something else from you?" "Name it." "Can we... kiss again?" Shinji ran a hand through her hair momentarily before pulling her against him, lips pressed gently to hers. Not the subduing kiss he had used that afternoon, not the forced kiss he had found himself in many months early; it was a gentle, sweet kiss, friend to friend. 'I'm doing this the right way this time," Asuka thought quietly to herself as she kissed him softly, imitating the kiss she had first given him so long ago, though refraining from blocking his nose this time round as to make it more enjoyable for the both of them. Shinji's eyes fell closed as hers did, smiling mentally to himself, too entranced by the simple act, luckily having taken no notice of her generally loose clothing. Asuka squeezed him more tightly. 'This is insane... but it doesn't even _feel_ wrong...' He sweated lightly. 'What's wrong here?' Asuka soon broke off, staring into his eyes quietly. Shinji smiled lightly. "That wasn't so bad, now, was it?" Asuka silently slid away from him, standing up from the bed, looking down at him. "Find Rei," she stated softly. Shinji nodded silently. "Easier said than done, of course." Asuka suddenly snapped back into standard Asuka demeanor, complete with annoyed tone and emotional outbursts, and harrumphs. "Idiot Shinji! Quit complaining and just do it! That's where you should be right now!" Shinji chuckled. "You're right, of course." He rose from his bed turning to leave. 'If I have to play the understanding person anymore I'm gonna explode...' Asuka muttered within herself. Shinji's hand fell to the door, gently pulling it open. His eyes widened in shock before her could slide it more than a quarter of the way open. Two red pupils stared into his eyes, meeting his own gaze. Shinji took a step back in shock at the sight of Rei staring at him placidly from the doorway, his breath catching in his throat. Asuka blinked. Rei quietly stepped into the room, school case in hand, stopping half a footstep in front of Shinji, increasing his sudden nervousness. Her gaze switched from his eyes to Asuka standing by the bed, and back to Shinji. She said nothing, nor betrayed anything in her manner as she once more gazed at Asuka, her eyes at last locking on Shinji's frozen form, taking his eyes into her calm stare. Shinji was stunned into silence. Without a word, Asuka walked to the door and out of the room, sliding it closed behind her, her path being traced by Rei's gaze until the door closed. Rei hadn't even expended the energy to turn her head, pupils staring out of the corners of her eyes until the door snapped shut, immediately returning her pupils forward to Shinji, glowing subtly in the moonlit room. Shinji at last found his voice. "Rei... I'm sorry." He swallowed. "About what, Ikari-kun?" she asked placidly. "Quite a bit... Is something wrong, Rei?" he asked nervously. "No." "Then why so sullen?" He managed a weak smile. He was met by a cool stare. Shinji rubbed the fingers of his hand together in nervousness. "Rei, I don't understand..." "Those who've lost their souls have nothing. That I should lose it after beginning to understand it is... an experience," she replied in a monotonous tone. "But, that isn't possible. How can you just _lose_ your soul?!" Shinji was confused. "The water and light which make me have been extinguished... so, I am no longer 'human'." Her placid voice echoed in Shinji's ears as she turned around. "My existence is irrelevant at this point. It should be passed on to the next, who has no need of this." "Rei, that makes no sense. You're no less human now than you ever were." His eyes betrayed mild fear at her words. '...Irrelevant?' "Congratulate Asuka for having succeeded in her goal to make me 'pay'. I will finish what was started. Goodbye, Ikari-kun." Her empty words left Shinji wide-eyed as she took steps toward the door. Shinji caught her by the arm. "You're not leaving." He swallowed as he stared at the hand resting softly on her arm. "...Me," he added softly. Rei looked down at her arm, indifferent to his action. "So, you would make my purpose to give you comfort? Any of them could do that for you." "Any of who?" He shook his head, confused once more. "You're the only one of 'them'," he replied, thoroughly having no idea what she was referring to, "I would wish to unite my soul with, or is that promise now meaningless too?" "I'm of no assistance," Rei stated. "There is no soul to unite." Rei was displaying an utter lack of emotion in her words. Shinji blinked. "That isn't true." "What is that based on?" "You're the one who said that the soul isn't physical. It isn't something you can destroy by destroying something physical," he explained, as much to her as to himself. Rei merely blinked. "I'm not going to let you throw yourself away over this." "Why?" "Because I don't want you to." "Very well. Then I will exist for nothing, against my own wishes. You would like that also?" The lack of expression and excess of passiveness was unnerving. "I would prefer that to the alternative." 'You... you can't...' "Why don't you want me to Ikari-kun?" she asked quietly, still facing and staring at the door as his arm dropped to his side. "Pilot Soryuu has expressed an interest in being a 'replacement' for me. What is my purpose to you?" "Because I care too much to let you destroy yourself... and so does she." Rei's voice flickered with what passed as interest for the first time, her eyes widening slightly. "...Care?" she asked after a long moment. Shinji swallowed deeply. "R-Right. I care what happens to you." Rei remained silent. "I found your soul once, and I'll do it again, no matter how long it takes." 'You can't hurt yourself because of me.' Rei blinked, though it remained unseen by Shinji. She swallowed softly as words formed quietly in her throat. "You... would..." "Would what?" Rei dropped her school case on the ground, slowly turning around to face him, staring softly at him. "Just let me help, Rei," he continued nervously, not wanting her to leave for what he believed would be the last time. "I don't know how, but I will find a way... someho---" Rei cut him off as she embraced him in her arms around his chest, around his arms, squeezing him tightly, no emotion showing on her face, though a slight quiver befell her as she continued to gaze at him. 'This is making _no_ sense,' Shinji thought, though a general sense relief spread through him as his fear escaped him. "...Ikari?" she asked him. "...Yes, Rei-chan?" Rei closed her eyes, reopening but a moment later as she stared at him. Tears slowly began to roll down her cheeks. "I... cry..." "You... you haven't lost everything, then," he stuttered, smiling as he returned her embrace, the lower portion of his arms encircling around the small of her back, hugging her to himself gently. "That's good for you." "I... then, I didn't lose anything. I am... grateful." I'm glad, Rei-chan." Like Rei, tears were softly falling from his eyes, and could not conceal them. "I'm glad." "Though... I have found something." "What's that?" "Fear." Shinji quirked an eyebrow. "Fear?" "Right now to talk about it... it would... hurt," she asserted, looking somewhat surprised as she said the word. "Just right now... I am also afraid to be alone. "I wouldn't hurt you intentionally, Rei-chan. You know that to be true. And I won't let you be alone." He smiled softly. 'I can't even stand hurting you accidentally...' 'If it didn't exist... would I feel pain?' she thought as tears continued to roll down her face, though her voice remained silently spoken. "I... don't know what to do. I am frightened, and I am pained. I feel as if I want to... cry." "Then... cry." Rei stayed silent for about a minute, staring at him in solitude, in thought. Her hold on him tightened strongly, actually pushing him forward a footstep as she held him tightly against her body, more tears flowing quickly down her cheeks. Her arms slipped away from him, rejoining almost immediately afterward under his arms, still pressing him tightly to herself. Shinji smiled lightly, stroking her hair comfortingly. It was all her found himself capable of doing as she remained latched around him. Rei quietly buried her head in Shinji's shoulder. And sobbed softly into it. Shinji blinked in surprise, turning his head to face that which lay embedded in him. He couldn't speak. 'I don't even know what to say or feel at a time like this... much less _do_...' Rei's sobbing softened in tone, but she continued, still clinging to him tightly. 'Tears... I'm crying... because I am in pain.' Her sobs ended, though her voice was nothing more than a hushed whisper as she continued to cry softly, her neck now hooked upon his shoulder. "I have never known this, like this.' Shinji nodded softly. "I doubt many people have." 'It's... like a first time... it is, isn't it?' He tightened his grip on her, lending her what support he could simply through being close. "I never had a desire to do this, perhaps because I have never experienced that desire." She ended there, her words more of a statement rather than anything else, resting in that position with him, closing her eyes gently. '...Desire? There're two references there...' Rei at last let go of him, her tears halted as she escaped his hold, his arms releasing her from his grip. She took only one step away from him, her arms resting at her sides. "...I must confess that I don't totally understand what you mean," Shinji admitted. Rei watched him for a few moments. She blinked, a tinge of blush glowing on her cheeks in the moonlight as she realized the innocence of his question, and the confusion he saw within the unintentional double meaning. The blush quickly faded. "To... express feelings. I don't completely understand it. Words I've never used and emotions I've never felt... even this, a desire to communicate." "It isn't easy, is it?" "It is an experience I don't know, but I wish to know. You yourself are experiencing the same situation, in a different perspective." She walked by him, resting by the side of his bed, staring softly out the window. "Heavy mountains... falling away to reveal what lies buried beneath them. A barrier falling away." "More like being pulled down brick by brick..." "Would you rather it were intact?" "Not particularly, though sometimes it might help..." he replied, idly staring at the floor. "One cannot learn by understanding what is. There would be nothing new to experience." She turned around, giving Shinji a three-quarter view of herself as she faced him slightly. "I am... grateful for that." Shinji smiled. "I'm glad someone is." "Of course. You are, whether you realize or not. You wouldn't exist as you do if you didn't." "I don't necessarily have to _like_ something to make it true... though it can certainly be pleasant to agree with a true thing." He grinned softly, blushing slightly. "This comes from Shinji... who does not like philosophical discussion." She smiled softly, though had the slight look of a grin resulting from the angle that she was looking at him from. "Oh, I wouldn't put it quite that way. Just that you're so much better at it that any discussion seems to be pretty much one-sided." Rei looked slightly stunned. "A..." She blushed slightly. "Arigatou." Shinji smiled. Rei resumed her stare out the window, facing it once more. "Shinji-chan?" "Yes?" he asked, his head swinging up. "Even though you may be right... I feel an emptiness." "Now _that_ certainly isn't surprising..." "...why?" Rei asked softly. Shinji felt slightly numbed as he spoke. "Well... someone just managed to smash basically everything you own but the clothes on your back... and tried to take me from you to top it off. I think that would do it." "What would that be to you?" she questioned. "Pain, of course." "I know of that. But, I feel a different sensation. Unnerved? Frightened? Yes, but also... lost. A loss of something. I do not know entirely what it is. But it is there." "That was your way of life, where you spent much of your time... I think that would cause a feeling of loss..." He swallowed softly. "Perhaps, that is it. Perhaps, it is more." She quietly sat down one the bed, laying down on her back a moment later, her arms folded on her stomach as she was surrounded in the light of the moon shining through the window, eliciting a gentle glow from her albuminous skin. Shinji unconsciously eyed her momentarily, then realized what he was doing and sat quickly on the ground, blushing at the floor. "What is it?" "Hmmm?" "Why are you red?" "You want the honest truth, or should I cover up?" Shinji grinned in spite of himself. "Truth." "My eyes were wandering," he admitted shyly. "Embarrassment? It is something else." She closed her eyes, a small smile on her lips. "Certainly can't say I don't like what I see, though," Shinji chuckled with a bit of bravery, though thankful that her eyes were now closed and she couldn't see his reddening cheeks. "That does not surprise me." "Not much does," he jested. Rei's eyes opened quietly. "No, but some things do." She turned her head slightly to the side, watching him with the smile still playing on her lips. "Certainly." "And some more than others, at that." His only response was Rei's gentle breathing. "Rei, I want to ask a question, but you don't have to answer if you don't want to... okay?" "...Yes." "How did you know that Asuka wanted... well... me?" Shinji asked, looking somewhat confused. "It is a presence in the way she acts at times." "...But not always, right?" "No, not always. I have not always seen it, though it is there at times." "Well, I've made my choice, and she knows it. Other than being herself, I doubt she'll trouble _us_ any longer." The emphasis of his words was lost in his grim regretful smile. "Regret is expected," Rei stated quietly. "It's part of human nature to feel sorrow when one makes a choice which involves others." "At least she accepted it. I don't know if I could take it otherwise." 'Reality is not always what is real...' Rei thought. "It still doesn't make it much easier, though," Shinji continued. "It's better to experience it this way than to take the simple route. That way would lead to the final point of evolution." "No one ever said everything had to be easy." "It's just that you talk so much about how you would prefer that it is." She raised a hand as Shinji moved to speak. "I already know what you're going to say. It's best just to let it pass." "The grass is always greener, isn't it..." Shinji muttered softly. "In a manner of speaking." After a moment of silence, Shinji shrugged softly. "...No sense in dwelling on it." "Even so... you do not need to mask it," she replied with the glint of a smile. "Hide what?" Rei chuckled softly. Shinji was genuinely confused. "What's so funny?" "You do not to mask it, and you respond with an innocent question. You would be funny," she responded with a soft smile. Shinji quietly stood up and walked over to the bed, looking down at the girl bathed in moonlight. "Oh, that... funny, hmmm?" He reached to her side left-handed and tickled her ribs. Rei squirmed for a moment, red in her cheeks illumined, then took his arm in both her hands and pulled, sending Shinji toppling across her waist to land face-first on the bed. Shinji's shocked look and cry of surprise were lost in the mattress. Rei merely regarded him, and his dilemma, thoughtfully. Shinji unburied his head from the mattress and bed sheets, turning his head to look up at her with a slight grin. "That wasn't at all fair." "That is... too bad. Life isn't fair." She smiled softly. "You started. I'm just continuing." Shinji quickly positioned himself on his knees and removed himself from his position, moving to lie down next to Rei, cuddling against her slightly. "Right." Rei traced a hand across the face which watched her. "Hmmm..." "Considering something?" he queried, smiling slightly. "Yes." She moved her face closer to an anxious Shinji, then stopped as she proceeded to poke him in the stomach with her forefinger, a slightly quizzical expression on her face. Shinji quirked an eyebrow. "Not considering whether to dump me on the floor or not, I hope." "No. I am attempting to make you laugh." She mimicked Shinji's prior move and tickled his ribs. Shinji chuckled softly. "Interesting aim." Apparently, the aim was excellent as he was unable to rest in the same position under her moving hands. He had managed himself to his hands and knees in an attempt to escape before the tickling pitched him convulsively into Rei, the two bodies forming the formation of a cross as he lay sprawled across her chest. Rei's eyes widened momentarily. "I don't believe... you did that this afternoon." Shinji looked up surprised, somewhat nervously. "S... sorry..." Rei shook her head softly on the pillow. "It's alright." Shinji's gaze rested on the side of her head as he blushed lightly. Rei continued staring upward at the ceiling, her breathing heavier due to the constraint of Shinji in their current pose. Realizing what he was causing, Shinji quickly swung around to lie next to her instead of on top of her, resting his forehead lightly against hers. His hands were within Rei's but a moment later as he found himself the subject of her soft smile. He kissed her gently on the cheek. Rei's eyes fluttered open and closed once as she processed the situation, then returned the favor, afterward moving her lips near his ear, whispering softly. "Shin-chan?" "Yes?" "Do not apply as much pressure this time," she said as she she placed his right hand atop her breast, pressing it to her gently. Shinji smiled softly, but was still the unwilling victim of a blush. Rei shifted over slightly. "Will you stay here?" "My soul, I would wish to be nowhere else," he replied softly as he kissed her lightly again. "Solitude is not an option to us right now," she agreed, squeezing the hand which rested between them, her head resting on its side to face him. "No, it isn't." Rei looked away for but a moment, then raised their left hands off the bed as she moved in closely to him, letting then rest on their thighs as she kissed him on the cheek without need to lean forward as much. Shinji quietly took his hand from her chest and slipped it under and around her to rest on the small of her back, blushing lightly in spite of everything. Rei rested her free right hand on her stomach as she squeezed the other. "My decision does still stand. You are the one I would unite my soul with," he said as he moved upward momentarily to kiss her forehead. Rei moved her head forward and softly pressed her lips to his, only leaving enough space between them to breathe once parted. "With you." "Just making sure we were still in agreement," he commented, his eyes seeming to dance with light. "I'm afraid if you continue talking like that... that I will have to prove it to you in different manners." She seemed to grin faintly. "Not that there would be a problem." Shinji grinned mischievously. "So prove it." "You really do not understand?" She shook her head softly. "That is a shame." She released his hand, letting it return to his left side as she raised herself from the bed to lie on top of him, kissing him on the lips. 'Oh, I understand just fine, but it's more fun this way... though you seem to know that better then me...' He gently but firmly enfolded his arms around her. "You do not lie very well," she replied as she held his shoulders gently. "Maybe I just don't intend to try. It isn't exactly what I'd call an admirable skill." The two found themselves the subject of another soft kiss. Rei mumbled an agreement, not breaking their contact as she pulled his arms away from her, taking one of his hands and placing it on the small of her back, the other on her breast. She proceeded to mirror the position, one hand under his back, the other laying upon his chest. Shinji squeezed both his hands softly, eliciting a soft sound from Rei's lips as the kiss deepened imperceptibly. Rei took it upon herself to softly clench her hands, and shift softly against him, Shinji murmuring lightly. She rubbed her body softly against his, murmuring slightly out of sheer reflex. Shinji did the same as he slowly slid his hand down the small of her back, resting on her posterior which he gave a light squeeze. The kissing stopped as Rei took her lips from his, resting just above his own, eyes open in mild confusion. Shinji quickly pulled his hand away and spread it open-handed on the bed. "I shouldn't have done that, should I... I'm... sorry." He blushed out of sheer embarrassment and regret. Rei watched him for a moment. "Shinji?" Shinji was looking uncertain as well. "...Yes?" Rei's soft smile caught him off guard. "...It is odd to have someone concerned for everything they do... with my involvement, for caring about how that makes me feel... thank you. I don't have any doubts. You are learning to understand... I think you do." "Then I wasn't... wrong?" Shinji asked, still confused. "As long as you understand our feelings, nothing can be. Understand what you do before you do it. That you realize that..." She continued to smiled softly. Shinji grinned softly. "I would hate to hurt you, Rei-chan." He quickly replaced it with a smile, speaking softly. "But I would still unite my soul with you." Rei smiled warmly, Shinji's eyes opened softly in surprise, cheeks reddened. She proceeded to kiss him again, taking Shinji's hand from the bed and replacing it on her back, still holding it gently. Shinji's other hand stroked her hair softly, Rei seeming to relax under the stroking of her hair. 'One could almost forget the rest of the day...' Shinji thought. Rei continued the kiss as she brought both of her arms to his shoulders, locking her legs around his hips. Shinji blinked in surprise. Rei stared into them softly with an imperceptible questioning glance. "It's... okay," he answered, smiling. Rei smiled, then kissed him again, her torso bent over at the waist. She shifted her hips softly against where she had straddled herself on him, a reflex action. Shinji's eyes widened as he gasped aloud, breaking the kiss. His grips on her back and her hair tightened. "I guess that is the point of this, isn't it..." He gave her a lopsided grin, but blushed furiously as he watched. Rei's reaction was quite similar, eyes widening in shock as she felt a small jolt within her, letting out a sharp, quick squeal. "That is... a new experience..." "That doesn't mean you have to stop," he commented shyly as he kissed her again. Rei again shifted her hips against his, this time on purpose. Both enacted a reprisal of their previous reactions. "You feel firmer Shin-chan," Rei said softly. "That's natural... I hope." He winked, blushing furiously. 'I can't believe we're... erm...' Rei kissed him again, Shinji sighing softly. Another soft shift on Rei's part resulted in a small sigh leaving Rei. "I can't tell if that hurts more, or brings more pleasure..." he whispered, craning his neck to kiss hers lightly. "...Pleasure?" Rei repeated her action once more, speaking softly as he kissed her neck. "This is... pleasurable..." She gripped his shoulders tightly as she softly and slowly began to rock her hips against him, intent on this new sensation she was experiencing, letting out a very soft moan near his ear, which sharpened as Shinji's hands both slid to her chest, methodically brushing her breasts as he smiled, beginning to kiss her neck with more ferocity. He moaned somewhat more audibly as he continued his kissing of her neck and fondling of her breasts. Much like Shinji, Rei was very unused to this type of stimulation, only diversified more as Shinji rubbed her gently. She began to rock her hips faster, a firm moan entering Shinji's ear. Quite unsure of any point other then that it felt good, Shinji continued his activities, occasional moan included. Rei's hands left his shoulders as both fell to his neck, holding his head up as she kissed him deeply, letting out another moan as he clenched her breasts. Her movement stopped as she suddenly set a firm expression, grinding her hips against his in one fierce motion. Both teenagers gripped each other firmly; Shinji's hands surrounding her back and pulling her torso down to him, Rei slipping her arms under his shoulders and tightening reflexively as an as of yet unseen passionate kiss that would have driven Misato and Ryouji to jealousy was exchanged, drowning out the sharp cry of pleasure of boy and girl from their unintended exposure to a sexual experience. Rei slowly released her grip on his hips, sliding backward as her torso came to nestle against his body, the two holding each other tightly, lips brushing with seemingly no end in sight. They rested after only a long exchange was shared, Rei slowly moving off of his body, coming to rest on her side, facing Shinji with a smile on her lips, breathing softly, though more heavily than normal. Her right arm rested across his stomach, her left curled above her own head, legs resting slightly parted on the bed. Shinji's breathing was more intensive then the par as he turned his head to face the blue-haired girl bathed in moonlight, her radiance and soft smile filling his cheeks with red, and a desire to hold her once more, though his arms lay by his sides.. "That was... pleasant, Rei-chan." He smiled warmly, his breathing proving his statement true. Rei smiled softly, her white cheeks tinged with red. "Yes... it was... pleasant. We'll continue later... at the moment, I am..." "You are..." "..." Rei looked somewhat saddened. Shinji's eyes immediately befell concern. "Are you all right, Rei-chan? If I hurt..." He stopped, suddenly becoming teary-eyed and unable to complete the sentence. Rei's eyes widened softly, her voice firm within its softness. "No, no! Not in the least." She smiled softly. "I am just... nervous perhaps? Am I nervous? Or frightened? I am... unused to these... emotions..." Shinji sighed deeply from relief, though he was still too choked up to respond. "Why are you upset?" Rei asked softly. "I ... don't want to... hurt you, Rei-chan." He shivered softly. 'I won't... hurt you again.' Rei smiled gently. "There is something I would like you to do, Shin-chan. Will you?" "Yes," he replied softly. "Loneliness is not an option... may we keep close? Awake and silent, but..." "I will not lose you again," he stated softly yet firmly, not requiring Rei to finish her sentence. "You're always welcome at my side, Rei-chan... I won't leave yours." Rei nodded quietly as she drew one of Shinji's arms around her, him taking the initiative to softly grip the small of her back. She rested her head near his own and watched him quietly as he stretched slightly, then slipped his other arm under her shoulder and around her back. Rei's arms were soon to follow, under his arms and holding his shoulder blades as the two cuddled closely to each other. The two smiled softly at each other. "Comforting." "Yes." ------------------------------------ Asuka stood with her back to the door, bangs hanging over her eyes once more. "I've... lost to him, again..." she said quietly. 'I swear, that boy makes me thing down is up...!' She shuddered, despite the relative warmth of the night. "Asuka?" Hikari asked from her right, apparently having grown impatient at waiting in the bedroom. "Yeah?" "You okay?" "Not in the least," Asuka admitted with a rueful grin, Hikari sighing along with it. "This sucks!" 'At least she's more responsive...' Hikari thought. "You're taking it pretty well..." "I wouldn't say that," Asuka replied, heading for her room, seeming not to care whether Hikari will follow or not. Any hint of a smile that was on Hikari's face disappeared quickly. "I'm sorry, Asuka." With a quick glance at Shinji's door, she turned and followed Asuka down the hall. Several steps ahead of her, Asuka was sprouting an almost incoherent string of German and Japanese curses. _Almost_ incoherent. 'Her mood swings are beginning to make me nervous... how much longer can she keep this up?' "You knew what his decision was, didn't you." Asuka turned on Hikari, her tone almost accusatory. "Err..." Hikari backed up a step. "I could only assume! After he straightened himself out, that is..." "Don't bullshit me, Horaki." Hikari considered simply dropping into a defensive stance, then brought herself up short. "You're just trying to find someone to blame this on, aren't you?" "Oh, I already know who to blame this on. I'm just trying to figure a few things out first." Hikari blinked rapidly. "Figure out what?" "Who knew what before I went off and did what I did." "No one knew anything before it happened, Asuka. It happened so that the truth could be known." "Somehow I doubt that," Asuka replied, grimacing. "And now I have nothing to show for it." "Not true," Hikari replied quickly. "Everything's been said and done; you have that. You have an understanding of someone else, and you have your own understanding." "Yeah." She shivered. "I just lost the whole point of it instead." Hikari looked away slowly. "How are you on terms with Shinji?" "Well, we're not at each other's throats..." Asuka replied. 'For now...' "Do you understand how he feels? Or how you do?" "Only too well, Hikari." "Better that, than being alone." Hikari walked past her and into the bedroom. "I don't see how that makes it any better," Asuka replied, following her in. "All it means is that he isn't mine." "How about knowing that you aren't his, and that he hates you for all eternity? Or that you could never speak to him? How about knowing... that he wants to be your friend, that he doesn't want to abandon you? You already know that..." "But... damn it! That's not what I want... and it isn't even what he wants either! Schei=DF!" "But he feels too strongly about Rei to let that happen. You have to learn to accept some things, Asuka... you have an alternative available to you that could really develop... Don't forget about it." 'Yeah, and that doesn't mean about three different things...' "And killing, threatening, or intentionally causing someone pain is _not_ an option," Hikari added, somewhat jokingly. "For once, I didn't intend to. I will have him, and hurting him even worse won't do that." "Asuka, don't hurt yourself, either..." "It's either hurt him, or hurt me. If I hurt him, any chance I ever had dies right there." "And Rei?" Hikari pressed. "That... I'd live with if I had to..." Asuka replied slowly. "But otherwise... to hell with Rei Ayanami." "You owe her something." "I owe her _nothing_," Asuka replied, pulling up just short of spitting on the floor. "Asuka... you actually... tried to _kill_her_..." "And didn't succeed," Asuka replied softly, a cold edge to it. "What's your point?" Hikari, for once, didn't respond. "Not to mention that you seem to be the only one even taking it into account!" Asuka added. "Why should I care when no one else does?" "They do," Hikari said, shaking her head. "You don't realize what lengths people will go to in order to help you, Asuka. Do you know what Misato is supposed to do, knowing what you did? Or how Shinji must feel, knowing what you did to someone he'd sacrifice himself for? How about how Rei feels, as a result of what you've done? Not a one of them has said a thing about it thus far, and there's nothing keeping it that way, other than that they want to _help_you_. If you felt good about destroying her like that... then I have nothing else to say. But... if you even have a shred of responsibility and compassion in you... you should say something to her. That's _your_ choice." "Then it's time for you to go, Hikari," Asuka replied quietly, voice level. "I have nothing to say to her, and that's the end of it." "That's your choice, Asuka," Hikari said, walking to her slowly. "Just... don't hurt yourself." "Too late, Horaki. I think... you already know that." "You don't need to anymore. You know that." "I can't." After a few moments of internal debate, Hikari reached out gently and hugged Asuka to herself, braced also for a rather impressive explosion on the part of the Second. "D... damn..." Asuka said in a cracked voice, making no move to escape from Hikari. "Asuka..." she said quietly. 'I'm sorry everything has to be the way it is...' "Well... I guess it's not a... total loss," Asuka spoke softly, voice still broken. Hikari, meanwhile, made no move to change what was. 'I'm despicable...' Asuka thought as Hikari remained motionless. "Horaki... earlier, we..." The sentence died on her lips. "I know," Hikari replied, stroking Asuka's back softly, bringing on quiet sobs from Asuka, as well as a physical collapse which nearly carried both girls to the floor. After a quick recovery, Hikari half-carried, half-dragged Asuka to her bed, laying her on it gently, then laying down next to her, pulling the emotionally-unstable German girl into her arms. "This is all I can do for you, Asuka. Cry, if that's what you need to do right now..." "It's all I _can_ do!" Asuka stated through sobs. "I have nothing else." "I promise you that you have more... right now," Hikari replied, stroking her back softly. "You have me." "You would... do that?" "Yes," Hikari agreed, smiling gently. "I'll stay with you, if you want me to. Don't be alone right now. Don't ever be alone, because you aren't." "But that isn't fair... to you." "I want to stay... at least until you're all right. I don't want to leave you, so it's okay," Hikari said, smiling. 'She's concerned about how _I_ feel... perhaps...' "The way I am right now... I could take everything you have... and not even care. You don't want to be near me." Hikari promptly smiled broadly. "You're not pushing me away again. And you're wrong on both counts... you do, and would care. You just said that for yourself, whether you realized it or not. And I do want to be near you. That's why I'm here, Asuka." "I wish... I wish I knew... how to be..." Asuka began shakily. Hikari kept smiling, waiting for her to regain enough composure to finish. "... as kind as you... Hikari." Hikari finally let a few tears fall at that, before regaining her own composure, smiling still, as well has hugging Asuka more tightly. "I won't leave you, Asuka..." She kept smiling. 'It's something you want to do... it's something you may already know...' "I can't promise that this will... agree with you." "What?" "You're so clean... Pure... And I... I never have been." The sobs broke down into straight tears of anguish. "I won't leave you, Asuka," Hikari whispered in her ear, stroking her hair softly. "You aren't as you think you are." "No, only I know... me. You don't want _that_." "What I said, I meant. I'm not leaving." "I'd spare you the pain, Hikari... Just the pain..." "You're not hurting me, and you won't," Hikari replied, bringing a silencing finger to Asuka's lips. "Don't worry." "Hikari, if I can't... stop... you'll have to go." "Then, I guess, you'll just have to." Hikari returned her smile to prominence. Unable to keep her face straight and voice calm any longer, Asuka simply broke and buried her face in Hikari's neck, crying loudly while tears streamed liberally from her eyes. Horaki's eyes widened almost imperceptibly, though only momentarily, after which she leaned over and kissed Asuka gently on the top of her head. "Go ahead, Asuka..." she said, mentally adding, 'It won't always be like this...' Asuka's only response was to look up, teary-eyed, at Hikari's face, sobs still wracking her body. Hikari's thoughts drifted momentarily, 'I would like someone... to console in, at times...', to a certain young boy in NERV's hospital ward, then back to Asuka. "Hang in there." "I have little enough left to cling to, and I don't think it'll support my weight." Refraining from speech which would have been of doubtful good, Hikari instead placed a hand behind Asuka's head and leaned forward such that one's cheek would touch the other's. "Could..." Asuka began, then shaking her head at Hikari's silence. "I couldn't ask that of you... again..." Hikari maintained her own silence, drawing her free hand across Asuka's cheek, then through her hair and behind to the other one, gently pulling the distraught Children into a soft kiss on the lips. 'Damn... She won't... listen...' Asuka's thoughts were together, though coherent words were much harder to come by for speech. "Better?" Hikari asked, watching the other intently. "I don't think it ever will be..." The manifestation of care and concern held her thoughts for a moment, attempting to frame a question that would at least make things no worse than they had become. "Was that what you wanted?" "I guess..." "Tell me what it is, Asuka... what you want to ask..." Hikari said gently. "Something not even you could give, Hikari," Asuka replied simply. "What did you want to ask me?" "I told you. I _can't_." "Tell me," Hikari commanded softly. "No... I won't ruin you too." Hikari inched forward slowly, brushing Asuka's cheek with one of her hands. "Tomorrow, then." "Tomorrow, I will regret my life." "Tomorrow, you'll live it," Hikari asserted with a smile. "That all depends on tonight." "I don't understand," Hikari admitted, truly confused. 'That... was too much, but it's too late to go back,' Asuka thought, shaking her head. "Shinji will allow me to... be near him... tonight," she admitted, her entire body seeming to fall lax. After a few moments allowance for the comment to sink in, Hikari replied, "Don't hurt them, or yourself." "Don't _hurt_ them." Asuka half-smirked. "You wouldn't believe what Shinji said, now would you? No, of course you wouldn't." "Yes, I would. That's why I said that, Asuka. Don't betray anyone, don't lose their trust, don't hurt _them_. But do go when the time comes for you to..." Asuka shrugged. "I do doubt that you would believe, unless he told you. Or were _you_ invited too?" "Well, I do believe you. And, maybe I was invited," Hikari said, grinning. "Or maybe it has been delayed. Shinji is still trying to resolve that one." "Maybe you should just show up for the hell of it," Asuka said, adding a twisted grin. "I know Shinji would be... pleased." "Three girls and one guy? ...I don't think he would survive the night." Hikari promptly laughed. Asuka, meanwhile, looked as surprised as she actually _was_. "I'll need to change my clothes, though... this covers up too much. Perhaps if I went and asked him now..." "Well, I wouldn't..." Asuka replied. "You see, Rei's in there right now..." "I could get some comments, then... or perhaps some aid. All three of us will be there anyway, so why not start now, right?" Asuka nodded as though she agreed, thinking, 'I'd put money on her doing this to play with my mind... This may just be fun.' "Then, of course, I'd have to make sure he doesn't pass out..." "I think he'd stomach it better than you think he would," Asuka countered. "Well, it was _his_ idea to let me kiss him anyway..." "So how was it?" Asuka asked, perfectly covering her shock. "Oops..." Hikari blushed. "...I just kissed him on the cheek as a gesture, nothing else." "And how could you ever get in bed with him if you're blushing over that?" Asuka asked, smirking. "I'm blushing because I wasn't intending to say that," Hikari said, eliciting a broad grin from Soryuu. "Of course, after I got him there, everything pretty much went okay..." Asuka Langley Soryuu promptly face faulted. "Never thought I could do something like that with him... he sure needed it." Hikari laughed. "Definitely enjoyable." "Well I'll be damned..." Asuka said, a mirror of Shinji after he had sliced Israphel cleanly in half. "Hmmm? About what?" Hikari asked. "What do you think?" Asuka asked. Hikari thus began chuckling. "And what's so funny?" Asuka continued. "That you believed all of that... or at least put a completely different spin on it. It's all true, of course, but I was talking to him, not... well... Sex wasn't an issue." Hikari blushed rather red. "Now that's _hardly_ fair. I certainly couldn't hold it against _you_ though..." "You're so sweet." "Geez... some people just can't take a compliment..." "Thank you," Hikari said, still laughing. "I'm only joking." "Better for you if you weren't." "And why's that?" For the second time in a short span of minutes, Asuka blushed nearly as red as her hair, causing Hikari to laugh all the more. "Well?" Hikari asked. Asuka shook her head. "Nothing." "Not this again..." Hikari said with a sigh. "Come on, let me know." "I don't think so. Not this time, Horaki." Hikari shook her head, sighing. "Oh well... I guess that _is_ hoping for too much." 'What is?! Could it... no... I'd rather not...' "Well, you'd better go have your talk with Shinji. This _is_ going to be a long night." "Yeah, I guess you're ri--- hey!" Thus came Asuka's turn to laugh. "Sorry. If I did that, he'd forget about the rest of you," Hikari asserted. "Better than some of the alternatives," Asuka admitted, grinning. "So go for it." Hikari shook her head. "Don't think so. Not interested. You know I was just joking... though I'm glad to see you alive now," Hikari replied. 'Glad to see you in a better mood.' "Yeah, I don't think Shinji could handle three of us anyway." Asuka replaced the grin with a rather effective smirk. "I think..." Hikari said, quite softly, "that Shinji's having a hard enough time just trying to handle one..." "I doubt Shinji's _that_ incapable." Asuka grinned again. "I'm not that much of a trial, am I?" "Oh, I don't know... you've been giving me extra work," Hikari said, chuckling. "But that wasn't what I meant... I think you already knew..." "Mmmm... double duty..." Asuka murmured, the grin seeming a permanent feature. When Hikari blinked her incomprehension, Asuka broke into a hearty laugh, one which grew all the louder when Hikari caught on and began blushing again. "Embarrassed, Hikari?" "No, just that it's true," Hikari replied. "At least we can admit that," Asuka agreed, bringing silence from Hikari, which started the redhead to her laughter once more. "What?" "Oh, just the fact that we even _would_ admit to it." Hikari smiled slightly. "Why not?" "Well, it isn't exactly... normal..." Asuka replied. Hikari shrugged. "Well, weirder things _have_ happened," Asuka spoke, chuckling. "Hmmm..." Hikari murmured, letting go of Asuka as she stood. "I suppose... I should be leaving..." "Do you... have to go?" "I might as well," Hikari replied, walking to the door. "You seem to be okay now, I don't think you really need me here anymore... or want me." A slight grin spread across her lips as she turned back to the door. "Just don't forget, I know where you live." "Hopefully _it_ hasn't been blown up too..." Hikari said, cracking the door open. "You going to be okay, Asuka?" "If not, you'll hear about it soon enough." "I think..." Hikari said, nodding slightly. "Just go already, will ya?" Hikari sighed, a mix of tiredness and disappointment. "Alright... Good night, Asuka." Asuka sighed as soon as the door was closed. "Shoot... I just can't do anything right, can I?" she asked herself, shaking her head resignedly. "Answering myself... would make me feel more lonely than I already do." With that, she fell onto the bed. 'And that isn't answer enough?' she thought, smirking disconsolately. 'This sucks...' "And what do I do now? Should I go after Shinji? Hikari?" Asuka closed her eyes slowly. "I need to rest for a bit... for now." ------------------------------------ TO BE CONTINUED... __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ GERMAN TRANSLATIONS Schei=DF: Shit (vulgar) Dummkopf: Simpleton Hure: Bitch (vulgar) / Whore Gott: God Gott wei=DF: God damn Perverser Mensch: Perverter Das ist nicht was ich sehen will!: That's not something I wanted to see! Gut... Ib. Gott, was denke ich?!: Well... God, what am _I_THINKING_?! F=FCer diese Gr=FCende bin ich froh: For some reason, I'm grateful Geschlechtsverkehr: Sexual intercourse Nein: No Ich ha=DFe mich, ich ha=DFe dich, ich ha=DFe alles... aber ich...: I hate myself, I hate you, I hate everything... but I don't... Ich ha=DFe mich: I hate myself Sohryuu... du bist pathetisch: Sohryuu... you're pathetic. Was habe ich gemacht, was mach ich, was will ich, machen? Wer bin ich?: What have I done, what am I doing, what will I do? What am I? __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ -> Scheduled Scenario Productions <- -------------------------------------- "Midnight Limited" & "Solbination Limited" Subsidiaries Design / Planning ------------------- James Grabowski - Sephirius Endymion, Rei Ikari - sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net Geoff Upchurch - Mien Diem, Shinji Ayanami - miendiem@hotmail.com Authoring / Writing / Editing / Revising ------------------------------------------ James Grabowski - Sephirius Endymion, Rei Ikari - sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net Geoff Upchurch - Mien Diem, Shinji Ayanami - miendiem@hotmail.com Script Editor --------------- James Grabowski - Sephirius Endymion, Rei Ikari - sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net Special Thanks To ------------------- Dieter Halbwidl - [German Dialogue Translation] Pre-Distribution Readers -------------------------- Kemjin - khyronx@aol.com Ryo - ryoganeko5@aol.com Ryo-sama - xyz47@hotmail.com Phaedrine - phaedrine@hotmail.com Mark Eymer - saotome@micron.net Shi Lin - silver_phoenix@usa.net Zhou Tai An - kain@pacific.net.sg Mark Aragona - aramark@philonline.com __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Scheduled Scenario Productions [UNDERGOING CONSTRUCTION] - http://www.sephirius.tsx.org + "Scheduled Scenario Productions" Link (http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius/SSP) James Grabowski's Site [Endymion's Portal (Home of S.S.P.)] - http://www.sephirius.tsx.org (http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius) Geoff Upchurch's Site [Mien Diem's Anime Warehouse] - http://members.tripod.com/~Mien_Diem __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Copyright 1998-1999 - James Grabowski & Geoff Upchurch Scheduled Scenario Productions __________________________________________________________________________