Disclaimer: see part 1

 

Part 12

Echoes, part 2: Echoes of death

By Random1377

 

Rei looked down at the bulging veins running the length of her body and wept.  She wept for all that she had become… she wept for all that she must now lose… and she wept for the boy that she loved and would never see again.

 

She felt the angel work itself deeper into her mecha, and herself, and she knew that time was short.

 

“Tell Shinji that I love him, Major…” she whispered, pulling the red lever behind her pilot’s seat, “tell him I love him more than I ever thought was possible… and tell him…” she gasped in pain as the angel possessed more of her, “tell him that I finally found my voice in him… and that I should have asked him to marry me instead of waiting for him to ask me…”

 

“REI!” Misato screamed, unable to take her eyes off of the bullet-riddled Unit 00, “Rei, eject, NOW!” The small timer in the corner of the main monitor reached thirty seconds, -So little time…- she thought, “You can tell him all those things yourself… EJECT!!”

 

“No…” Rei whispered, “if I eject, the AT field will disappear.  This is the only way.”  The timer reached five, and Rei’s voice became desperate, “Promise me that you will tell him Major, promi-“

 

Unit 00 rose from the ground, reaching towards the sky as if it was grasping for something it lost… or something it was never allowed to have. 

 

A single tear ran down Misato’s cheek, the first of many that would come that day, “I promise, Rei…” she sobbed, “I promise…”

 

The world filled with light and sound as Unit 00 erupted in a column of fire… painting the afternoon sky an angry red with its brilliance.

 

**

 

Shinji awoke to a defining explosion, covering his ears as the entire building shook.  “AHHHH!!!”  He screamed, trying to cradle his injured head as the noise and force assailed his senses.

 

Finally, the shockwave passed.  He rose slowly to his feet, disoriented, and staggered to the window.  He looked out, gasping at what he saw – half of Tokyo-3 was gone… only a smoking crater remained.

 

“A-angel?” he whispered as the magnitude of the destruction slowly sank in.  The city was burning, many of the structures that had survived the blast now smoking and charred. As he watched, the crater began filling with water from some underground source, apparently tapped by the explosion. “What… happened…?”

 

His cell phone began ringing, “Hello?” he said, his voice shaky.  He was astonished that the thing still worked.

 

“Shinji, are you ok??” Misato sounded frantic, -Oh, God…- she thought, -Please don’t let me lose all three…-

 

“Yeah… I think so…” he said, holding his throbbing head, “What’s happening?” his eyes cleared, “Is Rei ok?”

 

Misato gasped, “Umm… don’t move… I’m coming to get you.” She looked at the destruction on the main screen, “It may take a little while, but I’ll get there… DON’T MOVE.”

 

She hung up before her could repeat his question, “Ritsuko… deal with… with Asuka.  I have to tell Shinji…”

 

Ritsuko nodded as Misato ran out the door, then looked to Gendou.

 

“Yes.” He said simply, answering her unspoken question.

 

She sighed, “Maya, give the order to retrieve the Second Child… I have to check the damage to Unit 00.”

 

“Check the damage?” Maya repeated, blinking, “But, ma’am-“

 

“Do what you’re told!” the blonde cut her off, -It’s bad enough that I have to help… HER…- she thought with disgust, -but now I have to get lip from my subordinates?- she stormed out of the room, tapping a short sequence on her handheld link to the Magi, activating the power to a tank held deep beneath her feet.

 

**

 

Shinji fell to his knees, “Self… destruct?”

 

Misato knelt beside him and put her arms around him, “Oh, Shinji… I’m so sorry…”  Her soul was rent in two as she haltingly fulfilled her promise… telling Shinji all that Rei could not tell him herself.

 

When she finished, Shinji just stared at the floor.  “Misato?” he said finally, “Why did this have to happen?  Why now… when I finally realized how much I loved her… why did she have to leave me now? And why can’t I cry… I feel sad… but I can’t cry.”

 

“She… she didn’t leave you, Shinji…” Misato said, trying to contain her tears so that he would not have to see them, “she did it to save you… you were all that she cared about.” She stroked his cheek tenderly, “And you can cry if you want to… it’s ok… I’m here.”

 

He met her eyes, “Why was she taken?” he changed his question, “She was…” his breath hitched, “so good, Misato… better than me.” His tears finally began to fall, “it should have been me… it should have been… me…”

 

She wrapped her arms around him as he cried, soaking her shirt with his tears.  She didn’t bother trying to comfort him, as she knew that nothing she could say would help… so she just held him as he sobbed, his entire body shaking.  After some time (she did not know how long) his sobs faded and finally became the deep sounds of sleep.

 

Holding her charge as he slept, Misato Katsuragi indulged herself and wept quietly, hearing the echoes of Rei’s softly spoken final words in her mind… echoes she would forever associate with death.

 

**

 

Slowly, she opened her eyes, “Where am I?”

 

“You are in isolation tank number four-thirteen,” a blonde woman answered her, “do you know who you are?”

 

The girl blinked, “Yes…” she replied, “I am Rei Ayanami, the First Child, designated pilot of Evangelion Unit 00.”  This was a pre-programmed response to the question, triggered only by her voice or Gendou Ikari’s.

 

The woman nodded, “Rei, what is my name, and what is your last memory?”

 

She thought for a moment, closing her eyes, “You are Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, head of Project E.  My last memory is cloudy…”

 

Ritsuko frowned, this was a bad sign.  “Try and remember, Rei.”

 

“Yes…” the blue-haired girl stared into space for a moment, then spoke calmly, “My last memory is of the destruction of Evangelion Unit 03, re-designated as the thirteenth angel.”

 

Ritsuko gasped, -DAMN,- she thought, -she just came in for a memory dump last week… she should remember everything up until then.-  She sighed, “Since your last memory…” She began wearily.

 

After three hours of debriefing, she called Misato, -Well,- she thought as she hung up the phone, -I’ve done my good deed for the day.-

 

She went back to her office to collect some papers, then started heading for home.  She never noticed the man dressed in black that trailed her all the way to her front door… and she never had a chance to scream as the chloroform stole her consciousness away.

 

**

 

“She’s alive!?!”  Shinji screamed joyfully, “Can I see her?”

 

Misato smiled happily, “Let’s go!”

 

As they drove to the NERV hospital, Shinji could hardly contain his excitement, and he practically knocked the attending nurse down as he dashed past her, barely using his crutch… and into his darkest nightmare.

 

Rei sat calmly on her bed, barely acknowledging his entrance past a cool, “Hello, Pilot Ikari.”

 

He stopped dead in his tracks, a small grimace of pain crossing his face as the pain of the ill-advised run caught up with him and his head began to throb.  –Pilot Ikari?- he thought, a little dizzily, -Maybe I heard her wrong…-  “Umm… how do you feel, Rei?” he asked cautiously, looking at the bandage around her eye.

 

“I am fine…” she said in a neutral voice.  After a moment’s silence she turned away, looking out the window of her room calmly.

 

Shinji wasn’t sure what to do, so he stepped closer to her bed, “Rei?” he said hesitantly, “Are you… sure you feel ok?” he broke into a smile, “Oh, and thanks, by the way…”

 

“For what?” came the flat reply.

 

He blinked, “You… destroyed Unit 00 to save everyone’s life!”

 

“I did?” she replied, “I do not remember…”

 

He felt cold, “Rei… do you remember,” he licked his lips, not wanting to ask the question, but feeling that he must know, “do you remember learning the cello?”

 

She regarded him with her single, blank eye, “No, Pilot Ikari…” she said softly, “I do not recall any lesson’s other than the ones for the instruments I play.  I do not play the cello.”

 

Shinji felt as if a knife had been driven deep into his heart.  He sat down in the chair next to her bed, “Do you remember…” he paused, taking her hand, “anything about… about us?”  He held his breath.

 

She looked at his hand, and then carefully pulled hers away, “No,” she said flatly, “I do not.”  His face crumpled and he put a hand to his head.  She looked at him, confusion showing as the first recognizable emotion she had displayed since he had come into the room, “I am sorry,” she said quietly, “I can see that you are distressed, and I am the cause somehow. Please accept my apology.”

 

Her cold, impersonal words hit him like a hammer, and he finally broke.  With a sob, he got to his feet and ran from the room as best he could.  He staggered past a surprised Misato, ignoring her confused questions, and ran out into the deceptively bright, cheerful looking afternoon.

 

**

 

He wandered the streets of Tokyo-3 for hours, aimlessly traversing the city until he finally came to the edge of the lake created by the destruction of Unit 00.

 

He looked out across the water, feeling somehow that it was less a lake… and more an oversized tombstone.  The girl that he had left behind in the hospital was not Rei… at least, not HIS Rei.  She had forgotten all that they had shared, and had left Shinji alone.

 

How long he stood there, he did not know.  But as the sun began to touch the horizon, he became aware of someone humming.  He looked around and spotted a boy about his own age sitting on the shattered remains of a statue.  He noted, with some bitterness, that it was a representation of an angel.

 

“A song is a good thing, wouldn’t you agree, Shinji Ikari?”  The boy had a shock of white hair and deep, crimson eyes that made Shinji’s heart ache for all that was lost in Rei, “It gives a sense of hope and the promise that things will get better.”

 

“Yeah,” he muttered with a shrug, glad that he was able to talk without crying, “I guess so…” he frowned, “though it can also be a source of sadness, if it reminds you of something you had and then lost.”  He shifted uncomfortably on his crutch, wishing the boy would just leave him alone.

 

The boy frowned, “Many things that appear lost are merely hidden.” He countered, “Sometimes faith is all that is needed to restore them to plain sight.”

 

Shinji turned away, “Faith can fail…” he whispered, “what use is faith if it cannot protect the one’s that you love?”

 

The boy jumped down and approached him, “Faith alone can do nothing – it must be accompanied by action and will.  Music is like faith that way, Ikari,” he said as he drew near, “and it has the power to work miracles… if you let it.”

 

Shinji looked at him skeptically, “I don’t think that faith or music can help the situation that I’m faced with.” He said bitterly, “And how do you know my name?”

 

“Everyone knows the name of the famous pilot of Evangelion Unit 01,” the boy said simply, “besides, I need to know because I am like you.” He extended his hand, smiling, “I am Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child.”

 

Shinji took his hand, but did not return the smile, “It’s nice to meet you, Kaworu,” he said, as politely as he could, “but I’m afraid you have come at a bad time.”

 

Kaworu nodded, “Yes… I know. The Second Child has been… institutionalized, correct?”

 

Shinji nodded, “Yeah… and the First…” he choked slightly, recovering quickly, “the First is recovering from some injuries sustained in the last angel attack.” He ended lamely.

 

Kaworu nodded, “I see…” He looked out over the lake, “Are you a music fan, Shinji?  I’ve always liked Beethoven myself…”

 

Shinji wiped his eyes, “I used to like music…” he said quietly, “but I don’t think it can offer me much now…”

 

Kaworu nodded, “I understand that it seems that way, but don’t give up hope so easily, Shinji…” he put a hand on Shinji’s shoulder, turning him gently to meet his eyes, “For hope is all that anyone really has…” He squeezed the shoulder gently, “Trust me when I tell you that music can help. Even if it is only to provide comfort, it can always help… just let it.”

 

Giving a final smile, he turned to leave, “Remember my words, Shinji Ikari… and keep practicing your cello.”

 

Shinji stared out over the lake for some time before the Fifth Child’s last words sank in.  He turned around, looking for the boy, but found nothing.

 

He stared at the statue of the angel with a deep frown on his face, “I never told him that I played cello…” he whispered.

 

Continued…

 

Author’s notes:  yes, I know this chapter and the last have been a little bit dark… but remember that it’s always darkest before the dawn, and hang on for the next chapter. I’ll try to get it out in the next couple days.