Disclaimer: see part
1
Duet
Rei
sat quietly by Shinji’s bedside and stared at his impassive face. –Why will you not awaken?- she thought
sadly, -It has been two days now…-
Her
right hand was clasped firmly around his, gently wrapping her slender fingers
around his unresponsive ones. In
her free hand she clutched a small box.
‘It was in his hand when they found him…’ Misato had said as she handed
it to Rei. ‘He… he must have been looking at it when he…’ she had broken off,
unable to finish.
She
looked at the box once more, wondering what it contained. She was sure that he intended it for her
(reasonably sure, anyway), but she dared not open it without him offering it to
her. She felt that would be…
improper.
The
doctors had told her that she should talk to him because, even though it may not
seem like it, he could hear her.
She spoke softly to him, “Shinji… I don’t know if you can hear me or not,
but I am supposed to talk to you. I do not know what to talk to you about, so I
will tell you of our homework assignment for…”
She
trailed off, realizing how impersonal she sounded. –This is the one I love…- she thought
with some reproach, -I should speak of something
personal…-
She
began again, “Shinji… please return to me…” she waited, though why she did she
was uncertain, as she knew he would not reply. “I… you make me happy, Shinji…”
she whispered, “something I thought I could never be… and I am grateful to have
you in my life.”
She
stared down at his hand, “I know that you would like to… do more than kiss,
Shinji… and when you wake, perhaps we will.” She looked back to his face, “But
be gentle with me… I… it scares me when you hold me tight… I am afraid that…
that you may hurt me.”
She
stopped, looking at him carefully, -Is that what I fear?- she thought. What exactly she had been afraid of, she
had not thought about up until then.
She had only known that she WAS scared when he kissed her that
way.
She
rested her head on his stomach, feeling each softly drawn in breath, “Perhaps I
am most scared that you will not stop if I ask you to… I know that you are
gentle, Shinji… but I have seen rage in you also.” She kissed his hand, “I do
not want to feel your rage, only your love, so please… please be gentle with me…
and come back to me. I… miss you…”
She
drifted off to sleep, and dreamed of Shinji holding her tight… and of being
unafraid.
When she woke, she found
herself lying in the bed next to Shinji’s.
Asuka was sitting where she had been… and holding his hand. “Pilot Souryu?” Rei whispered tiredly.
Asuka gave a surprised yelp and pulled her hand away
quickly.
Her
shock was quickly masked with indifference, “Oh, you’re awake… well, I hope you
had a nice nap, Misato had to pick you up off the floor, you
know.”
Rei
blinked, -Was I so tired I did not wake when I fell to the floor??- she didn’t doubt the redhead, but she
was still stunned that it was true… of course, she had only slept two hours in
the last two days, so it was inevitable that her body would eventually shut
down.
Rei
climbed off the bed and rubbed her eyes.
–I wonder how long I slept?- looking around she thought that it could not
have been TOO long, because it was still light out… though the light was
fading. She guessed that it must be
evening, -Perhaps it was longer than I thought…-
“Rei…” Asuka surprised her
by using her first name, “what’s in the box?” she tilted her head to the
nightstand, where the box in question was currently
sitting.
“I…
do not know.” She admitted, “I do not wish to open it until he presents it too
me…” she looked at the floor, “I am not even be certain that it is for
me…”
Asuka laughed. Rei’s head came up fast, noting with some alarm the barest hint of madness in the girls voice… or perhaps she had imagined it? “Oh… it’s for you alright…” she winked, “you’re his geliebten.” She looked at the box, again serious, “Do you think he was going to ask you to marry him?” the word ‘marry’ trembled a bit as it came from her mouth.
Rei’s eyes widened, “I… do
not believe so…” –Would he? We are so young…- she found that she was terribly
off balance. “We… I do not think
that he would propose marriage to me…”
Asuka smiled, “Oh, I think
he would… maybe not yet, but he’s the marrying kind…” she looked at him, the
smile disappearing. She reached out
and traced the curve of the boy’s jaw with a fingertip, “Oh yes… he’s the kind
to stay with one person forever…”
She shook herself and drew her hand away as if his skin had burned her,
throwing Rei an uncertain look… as if she was somehow causing her
unease.
Rei
met her eyes, “Is there something wrong, Pilot Souryu?” –Yes, there is… isn’t
there?- she thought, sure that something was VERY wrong with the Second Child…
but uncertain of what it might be, or how (or even IF) she should
help.
“Nothing at all,” Asuka
smiled suddenly, “I have to get to school now, bye-bye.” She stood abruptly and
left the room without another word.
“School?” Rei echoed,
looking at the fading daylight, “But it is evening…”
**
The
remainder of the evening passed quickly, but since Rei had slept so long in the
day (ten hours, she found upon checking the time) she was unable to sleep. So she sat by Shinji’s bedside and
thought about what she would say to him when he woke up.
She
was mentally composing her fifty-sixth greeting when a soft beep emanated from
one of the systems at Shinji’s bedside and his eyes fluttered open, instantly
banishing all of her carefully prepared words. He tried to speak, but the tube down his
throat made it impossible.
“Shh…” she whispered, her
eyes brimming with tears, “it’s ok…” she knew that his awakening would bring the
nurses and doctors in short order, but she wanted to be the first person he
saw. “Shinji… do you know where you
are?”
His
eyes cast around the room, and he nodded slowly. She smiled at him, “Do you… know who I
am?” she held her breath, hoping against hope. He stared at her in silence, then
smiled around the tube and nodded again, turning his hand over to take hers and
giving a feeble squeeze.
Her
breath came out in a shuddery rush, “Oh I am so glad…” she leaned down and
kissed the corner of his mouth, hearing the door open behind her, “I will stay
with you,” she whispered as the doctors came into the room, “until you get
better, I will stay at your side…” he smiled again and gave her hand another
squeeze.
Then Rei was gently moved to
the side by an orderly as the doctors began to examine Shinji for any lingering
traces of damage to his mind. After
removing the tube (which made Shinji gag and choke) they asked him a series of
questions, testing his long and short-term memory. What is your birthday? June six, two
thousand and one. Who is your
commanding officer? Misato Katsuragi.
What was your first cello teacher’s name? Ilperazzo, he was Italian… we
didn’t get along.
More questions followed, and
then they examined his body, making sure everything was in order. After two
hours of mental and physical examination, the doctors were satisfied. They left with a final admonition to
Rei, “He needs rest… so don’t do anything to increase his blood pressure,
ok?”
The
head doctor winked as he left, -Why does everyone assume that we are intimate?-
Rei thought to herself, frowning.
She turned to find Shinji staring at her intently. He motioned for her to come to him,
which she did willingly, sighing as his arms came around her
waist.
“Hi,” he whispered, his
voice hoarse from disuse and the tube that had helped him
breathe.
“Hi…” she echoed, holding
him gently as she sat on his bed, her head resting on his
shoulder.
He
ran his hands idly through her hair for a moment, then put a finger under her
chin and raised her face. He kissed
her… and all of Rei’s fears resurfaced.
She was glad to have him back, but the way he kissed her sent unpleasant
chills down her spine. Though the
doctor had told her to let him rest, she had to talk to him… she had to know
what he was thinking when he kissed her that way.
“Shinji?” she said as she
pulled away, “I… need to ask you something…”
“What is it?” he rasped,
touching her cheek gently.
“You would never… hurt me,
would you?” she blushed as she spoke, “When you kiss me, you… hold me so tight…
I get scared.” She looked at him pleadingly, “You would not… force me to do
anything… would you?”
Shinji looked at her in
shock, not even knowing how to address her. –She’s… she’s scared I might rape
her!- his mind could hardly get around the idea. He thought of how he held her as they
kissed… how he held her tight because he was afraid she might suddenly leave…
how he kissed her so desperately because, deep down, he was afraid each kiss
might be their last.
His
voice became even rougher sounding as he fought back tears, “Rei… I would never,
EVER force you to something you didn’t want to… I…” he broke off and pulled her
tightly against him, “I love you…” he whispered against her ear, “no… I would
never hurt you…”
She
sighed deeply in relief, wondering how she could have thought him capable of
doing anything to harm her. “Shinji?” she whispered as he held her, “There is…
something else…”
“What is it?” he asked,
tensing as he held her.
She
leaned back and pressed her lips to his, calming his fears. She rested her forehead against his, “I
would like… for you to touch me…” she whispered, “I would like you to touch me
as a man touches a woman.”
He
swallowed. Wanting to make sure he
understood EXACTLY what she was saying, he said, “Are you asking me to… make
love to you, Rei?”
She
closed her eyes, her breath tight in her chest, -Even just hearing the words
pleases me…- she thought, -maybe…-
“No,” she said quietly, shaking off the thought, “not yet…” she opened
her eyes and smiled, kissing him again, “I just want to have you touch me…
here…” she put her hand on her chest.
His
eyes increased in size as the doctor’s order about his blood pressure went
straight out the window. “Are… are you sure?” he said, unable to move his gaze
from her hand… and what lay beneath.
She
nodded, “I want to feel…” she stopped and looked into his eyes, gently taking
his hand and moving it to where hers had been, “I want to feel.” She said
simply.
Shinji forgot to breath as
he touched her through her ever-present school shirt. He looked at her, afraid to move.
“R-Rei… you don’t… have to do this just because I’m in
here…”
She
looked surprised, “I… am not.” The thought of allowing him to touch her out of
pity seemed a foreign concept to her, “I am doing it because I want to progress
our relationship, and this is ‘the second base’… is that not
correct?”
Shinji’s jaw fell open,
“Rei, who have you been talking too?”
“Asuka…” she replied
innocently, “why?”
“What else did she tell you,
Rei?” Shinji frowned, afraid of the
response.
“Well, she told me all of
the bases… and she told me about ‘going down’,” she frowned slightly, “though it
does not sound pleasant to me, I would be willing to try
if-“
“Rei,” he cut her off,
smiling slightly, “forget what Asuka told you, ok?”
“But-“ she was
confused. The redhead had seemed so
sure of just how everything should go… had even offered Rei a timetable on one
of her ‘friendly’ days (Rei had politely declined).
Shinji shook his head, then
winced, remembering that he was hurt.
“You don’t need a map or a plan for a relationship… you just need to let
it happen.” He leaned forward, “Like this…” he gently kissed her, then kissed
her chin… then moved down to her neck, and kissed down the side to where her
shoulder and neck met.
“Oh!” she said quietly,
putting her hands on his shoulders, “I… see.”
Shinji removed his hand, and
instead wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on top of him, kissing
her slowly. As they kissed, neither
one of them was aware of the redheaded girl watching from the doorway… or of the
lost, hungry look in her crystalline blue eyes as she quietly slid the door
closed.
Continued…
Author’s notes: Yes, yes… I
know… I can’t stretch sadness for more than a chapter or two. Fine, so I go for the happy ending
whenever I can… call it a character flaw (feel better now, Kimberly? ;) ) What’s
in the box? And WHAT is going on in
Asuka’s mind? Next chapter… next chapter… :)