Jon: Hello, hello. Now people, I do have a story for you!

Jon: Now, I was supposed to go on to the beach this Spring Break. So I did. And on the way there, I witnessed a semi truck bash into a smaller pickup, a man get arrested on the side of the road, and we get to the beach, and who would know? The water is too cold to freeze and the water was too choppy to ride our jet ski.

Jon: So we ate lunch, spent the night at out beach house, then came home.

Jon: So I figure, here I am! I min-as-well sit here and do this show.

Jon: Now we have a few great facts, and then A good friend of mine on, so that we can laugh through the night.

Jon: Did you know, that the Titanic sank on Monday, April 15, 1912? Well now you do. So, this week in history, the Titanic sank.
Jon: By the way, I saw the Titanic movie on sale at Target. The DVD! It was a good price, so you go get that movie if you are into all that stuff..

Jon: (Laughs)

Jon: I have to tell you this.. I was sitting here one day, minding my own business, and someone asks me, “What do you do while you are interviewing someone on your show?”

Jon: I said, “I sit here on my ass drinking Hi-C and eating Cereal Bars.”

Jon: They replied with a “lol” and never said another thing.
I found it hilarious. (laughs)

Jon: Also, another fact. And I know you don’t know, so I wont ask, “did you know”.

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet.

(Looks up at audience)

(audience starts to laugh)

Now, I guess I will get on with things! Please welcome Steven!

Music plays
(Steven walks out onto the stage. The crowd cheers. He sits down and Jon and him stare at each other)

Steven: Hello, and welcome to The Tonight Show with - Oops, wrong show - Hello, and welcome to the Late Show with Jon!

Jon: thanks Steven!
Jon: (laughs to himself)

Steven: Yeah, sure, dude. (Chuckles)

Jon: well, I better start talking before he takes my lines.

Steven: (Laughs.)
Steven: (Waits)
Steven: OKAY! GIVE ME THE PAPERS!
Steven: (Takes papers)

Jon: okay well, before we begin with the, other crap we do.. what are your future plans?
Jon: (hands more papers)

Steven: (Snickers) Well, I plan to work as a future webmaster at one of my friend's websites. Hm. I plan on work very diligently on your website and some other stuff. I plan to score a chick or two while I am at it. I know a hot babe webmistress of a site that you interviewed earlier. (Moves eyebrows up and down.)

Jon: Haha.
Jon: well
Jon: I hope you get it!

Steven: Yeah, you said it, brotha. (Laughs to himself)

Jon: As for me, I may be getting a girlfriend myself .
Jon: (stacks papers)

Steven: Okay, this is the 'Straight', Late Show with Jon, correct? Let's not talk about your boyfriends. (Laughs)
Steven: Kidding, kidding. Put down the torch and the pitchfork.

Jon: (laughs)
Jon: (looks behind him and signals angry mob to settle)
Jon: Anyway..
Jon: Well that is the future for us!!

Steven: (Raises a brow)

Jon: I have a birthday coming up soon.
Jon: April 22

Steven: I don't like that insolent tone. (Laughs)

Jon: (laughs)
Jon: April 22, as a reminder is national Site Shutdown Day
Jon: SSD
Jon: For those of you that care, the sites that shut down this day will be honored.
Jon: by a special mini site that talks about them, just tell me and I will get ya hooked up.

Steven: Wow. (Falls asleep)

Jon: So, now here is what I plan to do. I was thinking, there are a lot of funny sites out there. And they have funny comments in the subject bar. I was thinking we could go around and find these then report them on the show.
Jon: So if you find something semi-funny, then tell me, and I will report to. This will work out good.
Jon: Okay so when I say GO, we will GO, ready?

Steven: Hang on, I gotta get prepared.

Jon: Okay
Jon: Just tell me when…

Steven: (Phones local store and requests a compass, a map, some rations, and... That's about it.)

Jon: (drinks some water)
Jon: Okay.
Jon: I will count down.

Jon: 5

Jon: 4

Jon: 3

Jon: GO

Steven: 45

Jon: (runs out)

Steven: THIEF! HE STOLE MY COMPASS!
Steven: (Runs after the coward)

Jon: Ha ha ha, (runs to nearest site).
Jon: Anime Light
Jon: Now lets see if they have anything funny...

Steven: Nope. Nothin'. Checked it last night, boyo.

Jon: "Don’t look straight into the light" well my mother used to tell me this when I wanted to look at the sun.

Steven: (Laughs)

Jon: Okay, your turn I think.
Jon: Here is your compass.
Jon: (gives compass)

Steven: I'll go to me sweet - I mean - My.... Um... person's site.
Steven: OFF TO NAMEK HEADQUARTERS!

Jon: Okay
Jon: (waits)
Jon: (waits more)
Jon: (stacks papers)
Jon: So you were looking for humor, on sites?

Steven: Not really. I was just pretending that I was. (Snickers)

Jon: Okay, well, I have more interesting things anyway.
Jon: I do have one question.

Steven: Yes?

Jon: AniCorp – “hot like wasabi”
Jon: Wasabi as in the song from Barenakedladies?
Jon: Or is this some kind ok Pokemon?

Steven: No. (Laughs)
Steven: It's a Japanese sauce that is very, very hot.

Jon: Oh, so in a way it is part of the Barenakedladies song..
Jon: You know, "hot like wasabi"

Steven: Uh... I guess. The only Bare naked ladies that I see are at a strip club.

Jon: all I can say is:
Jon: L M A O

Steven: (Laughs)

Jon: Not bare naked ass, just ass.

Steven: I don't like donkeys.

Jon: Okay, so back to my show..
Jon: The winning Jackpot for the Big Game in Georgia is now 325 million dollars.
Jon: Now, what would you do with this money.

Steven: I'd buy out all of the cheese companies and build my very own Cheese factory. (Laughs) Actually, I dunno. I'd sue Bill Gates for all he is worth.

Jon: I think you may need more than 320 million to do that. He would make that much while you all were at court, LMAO.

Steven: Humph... Ruin my hopes why don't ya. Lol.

Jon: You would sue him, and in a week, he would be the richest man again.

Jon: Well if anyone cares what I would do, I think I would spend money left and right, put away about 1/3 for a future family, and the 2/3 I would have a good time. Never get a job, just visit the world.
Jon: Oh, and then maybe post some updates on MBD every once in awhile.

Steven: Hehe.
Steven: I'd probably do it the other way around.
Steven: 1/3 of $325,000,000 is still quite a bit.

Jon: Yes
Jon: It is
Jon: I am sure, with my luck, I would get screwed somehow
Jon: Listen to this guy. Glenn Gosselin is trying to win
Jon: he says "If you don't have a ticket, your odds drop to Zero"
Jon: Well, someone needs to tell him this has already been discovered.
Jon: Thus, lottery tickets are being bought.

Steven: (Laughs)
Steven: Yeah.

Jon: Maybe next he will argue that the lottery is an underground "government project" that is just sucking more money out of its people.
Jon: And the winners are FAKE!

Steven: But you're more likely to run backwards through a cornfield naked than you of winning the lottery.

Jon: damn it I should have won by now then!

Steven: (Laughs out loud)

(audience laughs)

(music plays for a short while)

Jon: Okay, so, now, what is going on at Dream DBZ?
Jon: How is your radio there going?

Steven: Bleh... Pathetic.
Steven: Dream was supposed to be my first guest, but sadly the poor sap isn't on the internet hardly.

Jon: Oh well, if it all makes a difference I will be your first guest.

Steven: Yeah. I've only seen one person actually visit that page. But ah well. That one person gets to read my radio report thingy whatever, yeah.

Jon: Well we will see if we can make it a hit!
Jon: But before then.
Jon: I recently read your editorial.

Steven: Which one? I have three.
Steven: Well, four. But still.

Jon: Okay, the one titles "what? You cant make a website?"

Steven: Ohhhhhhhh
Steven: The one that will offend people who can't make a website without Page Builder.
Steven: Gotcha.
Steven: What did you think?

Jon: Yes, possibly.
Jon: (looks up)
Jon: Now people, listen, this man is very correct.
Jon: I want you to read this editorial and LISTEN
Jon: Now anyway..
Jon: I thought it was great!
Jon: First, tell the audience what you wanted to accomplish by writing this, then we will get some quotes.
Jon: (drinks water)

Steven: Well, I was sick and tired of seeing Page Built site after Page Built site, after Page Built site. If people really, really want to make a website, then they need to use HTML. Not Page Builder, which simply does all the work for you. Damn, it makes your site so much in line for a lot more things. For example, nobody is going to affiliate (Or very few) if you use Page Builder. If you don't and aren't too shabby at HTML, then you're likely to get affiliates. I just think it is pathetic for people to waste their time making a website if they can't do HTML.

Jon: This is true.
Jon: "Look, people, I am not trying to be mean, but that's just pathetic"
Jon: that got me laughing.

Steven: Hehe.

Jon: And for the best line.
Jon: Drum roll please...

Steven: (Drum roll)

Jon: " Most people will take one look at HTML and say: "Oh, man, that is way too hard", "Wow, I can never do that", "Wow, my crotch itches, want something to drink?" It's not at all hard. "

Jon: LMAO

Steven: LMAO

Jon: That is what topped it off.
Jon: So anyway people, read that in the new section called Words.
Jon: Well, it has been nice having you on.

Steven: Nice being on

Jon: Are there any last minute words, pleas... anything you want to say?

Steven: Well, I guess this is goodbye. Later, dude. Keep up the good work with the show. (Laughs)

Jon: Thanks, and I didn’t say goodbye yet!
Jon: (laughs)

Steven: Ah.
Steven: Well, your welcome.

Jon: I had one more question.

Steven: Yes?

Jon: What is your favorite movie in the year 2002?

Steven: Well, I got to see the finished version of Jason X as a reward for my hard work and outstanding performance at work. I know it's not out, but my boss pulled some strings... Blah, blah, blah, you know the rest. Jason X is a badass, and extremely awesome movie that you have to see.

Jon: Well, I certainly will.
Jon: And congratulations for being a hard worker.

Steven: Thanks.

Jon: Now,
Jon: Goodbye.

Steven: Later~

Jon: (stands up and shakes hands)

Steven: (Walks off stage waving)

(audience goes wild)

(balloons everywhere)

Jon: Well that was an interesting show. I hope you all enjoy your Spring Break. Next show, we will either have one of the following members depending on when they get on: Infinite Anime, Namek HQ, Bow Down. So we look forward to seeing you.

Jon: good bye

Jon: Leave now.

Jon: HEY you! Put the cracker down. I would like to have some too. You don't need to hog everything!

Jon: (starts eating Cereal Bar.)

--------------------------Repeating