(audience cheers)
Jon: Hello, hello. Everyone, once again, please…
(audience cheers and screams)
Jon: Okay, we need to get to the point, we don’t need this people.
(audience sites back, takes the free drinks handed out, and begins to pay attention)
Jon: Great.
Jon: Now, first of all, the terrorists are acting up again.
Jon: New York is yet again their target, so they say. This is what I think will happen. They will get away with something, it will be sad. This time though, there will be no troops and such and such. We will just have to send over a few bombs and make the whole country glass.
Jon: Anyway, some announcements. I will be going on a trip, soon. And my semester is over!! So summer is here. This is great news for me, I do not know about the rest of you.
Jon: Another note, I started talking with The DBZN, and I got a job over there, so come see me every now and then, it is a great site. Some say, the next Planet Namek, except for better..
Jon: That is about it for me. Now, for the top five movies this week!
5. Spiderman
4. About a Boy
3. Insomnia
2. The Matrix Reloaded
1. Star Wars Episode II
Jon: So there are your movies. Now, you might say, ‘The Matrix Reloaded?’
Jon: To my understanding, it is not out yet, but word has it that it is set in Zion, the last human city.
Jon: Now for the joke of the week!
Jon: What do bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
Jon: Nothing, yet.
Jon: (laughs)
Jon: Tonight we have Cyn from Namek HQ!
(Cyn walks across stage)
(flaunting her stuff, mind you)
(audience waves and cheers)
Jon: Welcome Cyn.
Jon: Please have a seat.
(Cyn sits down, smiling and waving)
Jon: Well tonight has been wild.
Cyn: Good! I'm ready for wild!
Jon: I can see! So first of all..
Jon: Any site news?
Cyn: Hmm...let's see, I'm getting a new layout, working on a few things (ya right), and...that's about it.
Jon: When did you open Namek HQ?
Cyn: Ahhh, I remember the day exactly...
Cyn: December 26, 2000
Cyn: (smiles)
Jon: Interesting time to open.
Cyn: (winks)
Jon: I can remember..
Jon: I was an affiliate of Saiyans Revenge and you were too. That is when I first saw your site.
Jon: Then next thing I know, everyone is talking about it.
Cyn: Awww.....
Cyn: That was way after I had opened...
Jon: Yes, lol. I wasn’t too much into anyone else’s site but my own, but my ways have changed.
Jon: (looks up at crowd)
Jon: (coughs)
Cyn: LOL!
Cyn: I'm sure they have...(pokes Jon in the tummy)
Jon: (laughs)
Jon: So what are your favorite kind of jokes?
Cyn: Either blonde jokes or yo mama jokes.
Jon: You have any Yo mama jokes?
Jon: You would like to share?
Cyn: Yes!!
Jon: Well you go first.
Cyn: My fave one is...Yo Mama is so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make 2 trips.
(laughs)
Jon: (laughs hard)
Jon: Hmm, let me see if I can beat this one.
Cyn: Alright!
Cyn: (rubs her hands together)
Cyn: (looks at her watch)
Jon: Hmm
Cyn: (starts laughing)
Jon: A lot have to do with my area, you have to live around here to get it... let me think..
Jon: Ohh I got one.
Cyn: Yay!
Jon: What is the difference between yo mama and the Titanic?
Cyn: I have no idea.
Jon: The Titanic sunk and yo mama floats.
Cyn: hahaha!!
Jon: Okay I admit it you won.
Jon: But lets see if you can beat yourself.
Cyn: YAY!! (gets up and does a little dance)
Jon: (watches movements)
Cyn: (smiles)
Cyn: (sits back down)
Jon: (stacks papers)
Cyn: (looks at the audience then looks back at Jon)
Jon: (looks at audience)
Jon: (turns on smile sign)
(audience smiles)
Cyn: (laughs)
Jon: So you thinkin?
Cyn: Oh, am I supposed to be thinking about something??
Cyn: (busts out laughing)
Jon: I think it is your turn..
Jon: (laughs)
Cyn: Ohh! (covers her mouth and blushes, still laughing)
Cyn: Okay, um...
Cyn: (laughs a little more)
Jon: (starts laughing)
Cyn: (clears her throat)
Cyn: Yo mama's so fat...(laughs)....I had to take a train and 2 buses to get on her good side.
(audience laughs)
Jon: I don't get it.. I just don't get it.
Cyn: (grins)
Jon: Don't worry.
Jon: I will figure it out one day.
Cyn: I have complete faith in you!
Jon: Thanks, someone here does.
Jon: Does anyone want to hear another joke from me or do you want to move on?
Cyn: I'll take what's behind door #2!
Cyn: (mumbles something about you not getting her joke)
Jon: Yes...
Cyn: (cough, cough, smiles innocently)
Jon: Anyway, let me think.
Jon: That means we will move on.
Cyn: (nods)
Jon: Now, for our current events!
Cyn: I love current events!!
Jon: Would you like to start us off?
Cyn: Gosh, I'd have to think for a minute, why don't you start?
Jon: Okay
Jon: Does anyone here care about Chandra Levy?
Cyn: I have no clue who she is.
Jon: Well this doesn't matter, because no one really cares. I am sorry for the family, but, some one. Why does it make Worldwide news?
Cyn: Good question...
Jon: Yes, now back to current events.
Cyn: (smiles)
Jon: Do you want to talk about people saying President Bush knew about Sept. 11 before it happened?
Cyn: Sure..
Jon: Okay well, first of all, that is what they say, second, VP Cheney of the United States has a few things to say about that.
Cyn: Aha!! Cheney!!
Jon: He apparently doesn't think this is what happened. He calls it a "gross outrageous political attack"
Jon: That was "totally uncalled for"
Cyn: Ugh! So politician!!
Jon: Now, here is where humor comes in.
Jon: I am going to look at this script to see if he says anything funny.
Jon: (looking)
(audience waits)
Jon: Okay no he didn't.
Cyn: (laughs)
Jon: If you want the full story go to CNN.com
Cyn: Gotta love that CNN.com
Jon: Hell, I don't know... I am going to look through my notes and find something to do.
Jon: And yes, CNN.com is great.
Cyn: (winks)
Jon: (calculating times mentioned by amount of money offered, equals..)
Jon: Anyway..
Jon: Does anyone here like Paula Zahn?
Cyn: I don't know who she is either.
Jon: Well me neither
Jon: So that is the end of that.
Jon: Who is excited about Austin Powers 3?
Cyn: Ugh! I hate AP!
(audience agrees)
Jon: Well, this is interesting.
Cyn: Yay!
Jon: Why do you hate him?
Cyn: Mike Meyers is okay....like way back in the Wayne's World days.....but now?
Cyn: Pfft!
Jon: Would you like AP if the actor playing him was good looking?
Cyn: I don't know...sometimes good actors acting really stupid is.....
Cyn: I mean, good looking actors
Cyn: just so....ewww!!
Jon: Yes, it seems too fake.
Cyn: I don't know the word....
Cyn: Fake is good!
Jon: Well, I can see your opinion.
Jon: So, do not get excited over AP3! You must get excited over something else, maybe Cyn's new layout.
Cyn: Hell ya!
Jon: But, as all of you know, nothing gold can stay.
Jon: So now the gold must leave.
Cyn: (raises one eyebrow)
Jon: It has been great having you on the show, don’t worry, I think the audience loved you the most.
Cyn: (laughs)
(audience looks around, ignoring the 'silent' sign, and begins to cheer)
Cyn: (waves at the audience, blowing kisses)
(Jon left all alone on stage as Cyn enters crowd)
Cyn: (walks to the audience, signing autographs and people's asses)
Jon: Please, turn off the cameras! Ohh, there goes my job!
Jon: Does the international audience want to see asses?
Cyn: (laughs)
(people cheer outside studio)
Cyn: Yay!! (claps)
Jon: Well anyway
Jon: Thanks for being on! You can find yourself out, but if you follow me I have some drinks in my office!
Cyn: (grabs her things and proceeds to follow Jon)
---------------------------The End - The Late Show.