by Background Bailey
Disclaimer: I do not own Outlaw Star or any of characters. This is simply a fictional short story I made in my spare time because I just happen to like Outlaw Star (hence the term "fanfic"). Again, I do not claim to own anything of Outlaw Star and this is obvious as there may be some misspellings in this story!
Note: This story has no "adult situations" as defined by those sickos who write "lemon" fanfic but it does make a very mild (and rather humorous) reference to drinking and hurting a male character, so I would in good conscience rate this story PG.
Background: This story takes place 5 months after the Galactic Layline Incident. Melfina and Gene have already married (as I thought they would eventually) and all the rest of the group are still crew members of the Outlaw Star. Aisha Clan Clan no longer keeps in contact with the Catrl Catrl Empire as her loyalties are now with her new friends. The crew has gone back to Hay Fong since it offers more jobs than Sentinel 3 ever did. Also, most of any large amounts of text that are italized are the thoughts of Gene Starwind as the story unfolds. Thank you for enduring all this boring pre-story text and hope you enjoy my first fanfic ever!
Gene stared at the ceiling as he lay on the couch, his eyes covered with a magazine. One might have sworn he was sleeping but he was really wide-awake and quite angry too. "How long has it been since we have gotten a job offer?" Gene wondered. "If this keeps up, I may have to get a real job! Maybe I should have wished for lots of treasure while I had a chance…"
"I just don't get it!!" Aisha yelled in her usual loud self, as she stormed past Gene and tried to relax in a chair, crossing her arms. "You would think there would be one job a perfectly strong and capable Catrl Catrl could get in this town!!"
"Great, here comes the hurricane!"
"Don't forget," Sasuka added, in her usual calm self, "that everyone has been having trouble finding work as well. It's been a whole year since a decent bounty has shown up!"
"Oh, so you're a bounty hunter now, huh? What ever happen to Suzu, the mighty assassin!!" Wisecracked Aisha while laughing quite loudly.
"Please," Sasuka said while letting out a huge sigh, "Don't call me Suzu and if you must know, there hasn't been that many people wanting to hire assassins lately."
"Humph. Well, I'm sure a new job will open up sometime, so we just need to keep our eyes peeled for anything that could happen!" Aisha stated. Sasuka simply nodded her head, smiled, and went to the kitchen to fix herself some tea. Aisha grabbed the newspaper and stated to scan the classifieds. Gene just groaned to himself as he sat up.
"…and just when I was starting to get tired enough to take a nap too!"
"Had any luck yet, Gene?" Melfina called out from the kitchen, while she was making lunch for everyone.
"At least there's one voice here I don't mind listening to!" Gene thought to himself. "Not yet, Mel! But don't worry, I'm sure something will open up soon."
"AAARRRGGGHHH! Does no one actually need anything done for them?!" Jim shouted from the desk, after an unfruitful search of job listings on the Internet. "Normally I can find something for us but it's like everyone is on vacation or something!"
"Jim, you really worry about too much stuff for a kid your age, you know that?" Aisha said while rubbing Jim's blond locks. "Just leave the worrying to us grown-ups!"
"That's easy for you to say!" Jim objected.
"Well, if anyone is hungry, lunch is ready on the table", yelled Melfina from the kitchen. Everyone went to the kitchen in their usual style, Aisha rushing ahead of everyone while Sasuka simply followed behind everyone else.
After lunch, everyone stayed at the table to discuss what to do about the lack of jobs available.
"Well, we could always find an official body shop and form an affirmation with them. That why we could get more customers." Jim suggested.
"Yeah, but then you lose out on all the unofficial job offers and then we have to worry about rules and regulations and you know what a pain in the rear that is!" Gene protested.
"Yeah, that is true." Jim admitted. "Plus the unofficial jobs do pay more money."
"Dang it! Here we are just sitting down talking about trying to find work that doesn't exist! I can take it anymore!"
"I don't know why you humans are so uptight about this!" said Aisha. "Why don't you just trying thinking of this as a little vacation!"
"Yeah, but when you're on vacation, you have lots of money to burn and you can go out to have fun!" Jim said.
"Actually, I think Aisha is right.” Melfina quietly stated. “Work is bound to come around sometime if we just be patient."
"Now you see, this human actually makes sense around here! Gene, you really need to listen to her more often!" Said Aisha.
"Yeah, yeah." Gene said. "Any more of this and I swear I will go crazy!"
"Hey, I got a great idea!" Aisha energetically yelled.
"That's a first."
"Why don't we play a little game for a while!"
"And how that's going to solve anything!!"
“Umm…well, it won't but it sure is a good way to pass the time around!"
"Someone, just take me away already!"
"That's a great idea!" said Melfina. "We really do need to have some fun around here to get rid of some tension."
"Okay, fine, Aisha." Gene flatly stated. "What's the game?"
"It's called 'Have you ever?'. It's a little hard to describe but it goes something like this. One person starts and asks, 'Have you ever?' and finishes it with something they themselves has done, like 'ate Catrl Catrl Stew' or something like that. Everyone who says yes and the one who asked the question gets to have one point and the last person to say yes gets to pick the next question. Oh, and it's more fun if you explain what happen if you pick a really weird question or people are really surprised if you say yes."
"Sounds like fun, Gene!" said Melfina. "Who will start?"
"I will." Said Gene. "But who will keep score?"
"I will be happy to assist in keeping score of this fascinating humanoid phenomenon called a 'game'." Gillium stated in his usual polite, mechanical voice.
"Are you sure you understand the rules?" Jim asked.
"Affirmative."
"Well, what are we waiting for, let's get started!"
"Okay!" Gene said. "Have you ever…been adrift in deep space by yourself?"
"Hey, no fair, Gene!" Jim objected. "No one's going to say yes to that!"
"…I have…." Aisha quietly stated.
"What?! But you planned that out!" Gene snapped.
"Actually, the plan was for the ship to stay within radio contact with me the whole time but the ship went out of range shortly after dropping me off. If you hadn't found me….."
"Then you would have been forced to wait for the race officials to pick you up!"
Everyone burst out laughing while Aisha just smiled nervously and stared at the ground while blushing.
"Okay, you animal, your turn!" Gene said after he finally stopped laughing.
"STOP CALLING ME AN ANIMAL!!! (sigh) Okay, have you ever….had a dog?"
"No way, you had a dog?" Gene asked with shock on his face.
"You bet! But why do you look so surprised?"
"I didn't think the dog would get along with your family!"
"HEY, THAT'S NOT FUNNY, GENE!!!"
"Okay, okay, that's enough." Said Melfina, placing her hands between the two. "Gene, please leave Aisha alone. Now Aisha, I think it's your turn again since none of us has…"
"….I did…." Sasuka quietly stated.
"Huh? You did?" asked Aisha. "Tell us about it!"
"…I rather not…"
"Huh? Why not?!"
"Let me answer that question with another question. Have you ever had your entire village or town destroyed by one man and had to wait over 15 years until you were able to avenge the death of your loved ones?"
Everyone stared at Sasuka quite surprised. A painful silence lasted at least for two minutes. Finally, Aisha spoke.
"Sa…Sasuka, I…I had no idea.."
"Please, don't call me Suzu, call me…."
Sasuka just stared at Aisha smiling back at her with a happy look on her face. Sasuka simply smiled and almost laughed. Jim just sat with his arms crossed and groaned.
"Sheesh, if you keep this up, I'll never have a turn!"
"Well, since it's still my turn, I'll ask something that everyone will get a point from. Have you ever had soup?"
Gene, Aisha, and Melfina, in that order, each said "I have" but Jim just got a sad look on his face.
"Well, Jim?" Sasuka asked, looking at Jim.
"What?! I never had soup before!”
"What?! Is that even possible?!"
"Get out of here!" Yelled Aisha. "Everyone has had soup before!"
"Man, you're a weirder kid than I already thought you were!" Gene said while almost laughing.
"You're people are even more interesting than I thought you were!" Sasuka simply stated after letting out a sigh. "Melfina, I believe you spoke last, so it's your turn."
"Huh? Oh! Um….well,…."
"Great, I knew she would get stuck if her turn came up!"
"Okay! Have you ever had someone claimed they loved you and you tried to tell them no but they refused to listen to you?"
"Glad she's not talking about me… I hope! Mel, I think you ought to explain to everyone else about that, because I'm the only other one who knew about that, remember?"
"Huh? Oh, right, I'm sorry. (ahem) Well, how should I start. Ummm….you all remember the McDogual Brothers, right?"
Everyone nodded once, although they were a little confused.
"Well, Harry….the younger one….he…he was….he was also a construct like me…."
" I knew it! I knew it!" Yelled a very happy Aisha. "You owe me 200 wong, Suzu!"
"Fine, but just please stop calling me Suzu!"
"I'm sorry Mel, it's just…okay, so it wasn't a very nice bet but thanks for solving that dispute. Please continue."
"………… well, it's just that….I kept telling him no, but he just got angry and refused to listen and….. well, you get the idea…."
"I have." Said Gene. "Just some crazy, desperate woman wanting a boyfriend. She offered me a drink, so I accepted but as I tried to leave, she just kept holding on to my arm and, well, you know I hate to have to be rough to a woman."
"So what did you do, Gene?" Jim asked.
"Well, she kept saying she just wanted me to stay, so I got the bright idea of keep buying her drinks until she passed out on the table. I decided to be kind enough to pay her tab for her."
Melfina just stared quietly at the floor with a sad look in her eyes.
"Aaah, Mel, you know how much I hate it when you do that! It happen way before I met you and believe me, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her!"
"….. I know, it just I don't like hearing you talk about other women…. That's all."
Melfina then simply smiled. "Anyone else want to talk?"
"….I have…" Aisha said, with a most embarrassed look on her face.
"Really? What happened?"
"Well…. I was still in…err….let's just say I was still in what you humans call 'high school'. Well, I know I act like an idiot at times but I actually did pretty well in school and most of the guys were jealous…. And, well, no ..no one…. ever asked me on a date once… but I do remember that the biggest nerd in the class asked me to the 'prom'!"
Aisha was starting to get pretty ticked off right now and already was slightly transforming already…. Her tail visibly grew back again.
"So… what did you do, Aisha?" Melfina asked.
"What do you think?! I kicked him where it counts and punched him in the face, breaking his stupid thick glasses!"
Aisha quickly jabbed the air while a cat smile appeared on her face. Everyone just stared at her in disbelief. Suddenly Aisha stated at the ground and got a really mournful look on her face.
"Actually, I wished I hadn't punched him because all of the guys were afraid of me after that…. I wanted to go, just not with him."
"Oh! You punched him in the face?!"
"Yeah! Haven’t you ever reacted with violence to someone just because you were mad at him and he wasn't your enemy?"
Everyone just stared at her and slowly shook their head. Aisha sighed and looked to towards the table in silence. Finally Gillium spoke up.
"I believe it is still Miss Aisha's turn."
"I know that, you bucket of bolts! And where do you get the idea of calling me 'Miss Aisha'?! Stop it right now!"
“How ironic.” thought Sasuka as she sipped her tea.
"Affirmative, Miss Aisha."
"WHAT?! AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!”
“Humph! Okay, now what would be a good one….. I know! Have you ever had someone achieve more than you and that made you jealous or put you in a really bad spot?"
Everyone thought about it but one by one shook their heads.
"WHAT?! What do you mean no?! I demand an answer!"
"Well, I just never really been in competition that often." Melfina said.
"I’m too busy looking after you guys!" stated Jim.
"I always get the bounty first and it's bad policy for a client to hire two or more assassins." Sasuka said matter-of-factly.
"Hey, an Outlaw like me never has to work that much against other guys! So, what’s your story?" asked Gene.
"Well, my older brother had to take some classes that made him stay in 'high school' longer but they come with a lot of prestige and such, so of course my parents were so dang proud of him. Anyway, he graduated at the same time I did but he always made better grades than I did, so he graduated with honors while I was forced to go into the space program."
Aisha suddenly leaped to her feet and pointed at Gene while her face became quite upset and her tail started to form a rigid zigzag pattern.
"Where you stripped me of my command just because you couldn't pull over to answer a few simple questions! If you had obeyed my orders, I probably would have let you go without a hassle and you could have gone on your business and I would have still been in my commanding position as an ambassador of the Catrl Catrl Empire!!!"
Gene was quite nervous, as he wasn't wearing his blaster holster. Suddenly, a bright idea popped into his head.
"err…well you were getting sick of it anyway! I mean, all the people questioning your orders, the long hours, the isolation from major cities and home, no real friends… you must have gotten sick of that, right?"
"(sigh) yeah, but it did pay better money." whimpered Aisha as she plopped back into her seat.
"I don't get it." Said Melfina. "You were forced to go into the space program?"
"Yeah, I got good grades but to have any choice of where I wanted to go, I would have to have graduated with honors but only so many people are allowed to earn it and frankly there wasn’t enough room to add me to the list so that’s why I was sent to the space program….”
“That’s…. so…. sad.”
“Yeah, well, that’s why I now say I should forget about the Empire for once and just stick to my friends, right Suzu!”
“Yes, I agree, but please just call me Sasuka!”
“I believe that it is still Miss Aisha’s turn.” said Gillium.
“I know that! Now, what can I say that will actually get you all to say yes to….. okay, have you ever ate something that was so disgusting, you felt like you were going to throw up?”
“Yeah!” yelled Gene. “That disgusting Catrl Cartl stew you fed us!”
“HEY! What do you mean by that?! No one else complained about it like that!”
“Yeah, well it did make me sick for a few days!”
“I say the problems with your humans is that most of you just don’t have a stomach of steel anymore!”
“Finally, my turn to get a point!” Said a much happier Jim. “Bubble gum ice cream! I tried it and thought ‘Yuck! This is the worst tasting ice cream I ever had’!”
“I hate to say this Aisha.” Sasuka said, almost mumbling. “But that Catrl Catrl stew made me feel most uneasy too.”
“What?! Fine, anyone else wants to insult my cooking?”
“Oh, but Aisha, no one said your cooking is bad! You really are a big help in the kitchen!” Melfina quickly said, trying to make Aisha feel better. ‘It’s just that…well, err….”
“I know, it made you sick too, huh, Mel? Fine, I won’t cook that again for you guys. (groan) I hate to say this but I actually hated that recipe too! I just made it because Grandma said it was good for both humans and Catrl Catrl alike!”
“What about you, Aisha? Ate anything you didn’t like?”
“You bet I did! Tofu! What kind of weird person actually eats that stuff, anyway?”
Everyone immediately looked sick, and shook their heads while they thought about it.
“Ha ha! Your turn again, Mel!”
“Oh! Um…well….have you ever been so dishearten, that you felt like nothing would ever be okay again? I did when Lord Sosanko told me that everyone, including Gene, was only using me to reach the Galactic Layline.”
“I did when I was fired from the space program. I thought I was going to simply starve to death on the streets all alone...”
“I did when I was adrift in space as a kid, with no family…” Gene said.
“I will never forget what it was like to wake up after all the senseless destruction that was brought to my village, only to end up as a scared little girl with no one to comfort me…” said Sasuka.
“I feel like this off season will last forever!” Jim said. “So it is finally my turn! Okay, have you ever had a computer problem that was really bugging you?”
“Get out of here!” Gene said. “You had a computer problem?!”
“Of course I do, Gene! Just the other day I was having problems with a faulty code!”
“I always have problems trying to advertise on the web!”
“I never even learned how to use a computer!” Sasuka stated.
“Sometimes I still get disconnected from the Outlaw Star main computer even when I’m still connected to the navigation system.” Melfina said.
“COMPUTERS HATE ME!!!!” Aisha loudly wailed, rubbing her eyes with cat paws.
“Well, I guess you get to go again, Aisha.”
“Sob! Huh? Oh boy! Okay, ummm….. I got it! Have you ever tried bull riding!”
“What?!” Jim yelled. “Are you crazy?! No one going to say yes to that! You’re just saying crazy stuff so you can win! I bet you never even done it before!”
“Am not! And for your information, I have done it! That’s one of the reasons guys were jealous of me in school! I always outlasted the bull and most everyone else fell off in 3 seconds! Ha ha ha ha!”
“I have.” Gene replied. “That’s where I got that one scar on my leg. Now it’s my turn again, so I think….”
Suddenly a ringing noise was coming from the living room.
“My computer!” yelled Jim. “Someone must be calling us! Maybe they have a job offer!”
Jim grabbed Gilliam and he and Gene rushed over to the computer.
“So Aisha, you really practiced bull riding when you were still an adolescent?” asked Sasuka.
Jim stared at his laptop with an uneasy face.
“So, who is it? Do they want a job done for them?” Gene asked.
“Maybe but the caller is….”
“Well, hello Gene! How nice to see you again!” said a very familiar voice.
“Oh great, Fred Lowe! Anyone but him! Gee, huh, right back at ya!.”
“So, how’s business going for my dear, good friend, hmm?”
“Oh, uh, great! Just fine, actually!”
“Are you crazy!” Jim yelled. “We haven’t had a customer in almost two weeks!”
“Ha ha! You sound just as grown-up as always, Jim. I kind of figured that, so I’ll be willing to help you out if you just do me a small favor.”
“You don’t want me to dance with you again, do you?” Gene asked.
“Oh, no, silly! See, I have some expensive cargo that needs to be delivered and I thought to myself, ‘Why not see if your friend Gene would be willing to do it?’ So here I am!”
“Well, in that case what are friends for, huh?”
They both laughed heartily, although for far different reasons.
“By the way, I will admit hauling it is a bit of a hassle, so I think I can pay you, oh, say, 5 million woo-long.”
“5-5 million woo-long?!! I mean, sure, that sounds quite fair! Just haul it to our ship and we’ll take care of the rest!”
“Oh, and the cargo takes a lot of heavy lifting, so why don’t you bring that cute Catrl Catrl with you? I’ll pay Aisha 500 thousands woo-long, in addition to whatever share you’ll pay her when the job’s over, okay? Got to go! Buh-bye!”
“What the heck?! Did he just say what I think he said? Okay everyone, we got a job, so game over!”
“So, who won?” Aisha asked as she walked into the room.
“Miss Aisha is the winner by 9 points out of 11 questions.” Gilliam replied.
“What?! No way!” a disappointed Jim yelled. “You’re all older than me, so you’ve all done more things than I ever did!”
“Great! So, did I win anything?!”
“Yeah.” said Gene. “You get to help out on our job with Fred Lowe by doing heavy lifting!”
“WHAT?! It sounds like great exercise but that doesn’t sound like much of a prize!”
“Yeah, well, you’re guaranteed 500 thousand woo-long and if you behave yourself, I might give you a nice share of the 5 million woo-long that’s coming when the job’s over.”
“What! Well, in that case, what are we waiting for!”
“By the way, Fred thinks you’re cute!”
“WHAT???!!!! SHUT UP, GENE!!! YOU JUST DON’T KID ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT!!”
“I’m serious! Really! His exact words were ‘the cargo takes a lot of heavy lifting, so why don’t you bring that cute Catrl Catrl with you?’.”
“Ugh, really, Gene, I didn’t need to hear that!”
“What, you wouldn’t go out with rich, handsome Fred?”
“What?! No, never! Not with Fred!!”
