From gwynnie3x4 Hiya Kat!
This little (laughs) e-mail is part of a series called Gundam Wing
Outtakes. It's only a series because the whole thing is 16 pages long (font
size 9, Geneva). That's some serious mail! It's mostly fluff n' stuff anyway.
Since you WERE the original inspiration for this fic, I thought I should
offer you the option of posting it. It's all coded and ready to go. There
are explainations at the end of each part. There are three more parts,
which I will send you if you aren't sick of it (and me) yet. Enjoy!
Gundam Wing Outtakes, Part 1
Warning: I was on crack! Really! Language, spoilers, violence,
innuendo, yaoi, blatant imitation and mockery of certain movies, shows
and weird friend things.
Who's fault this is: Katsu no Miko (GW commentary) and the friends who
came up with the many deaths of Relena list.
Ides contributed and so did Physh and Sooth. Wolf (my brother)
helped too. Physh, Ides and Sooth are my co-conspirators in madness that
can be found at Ides' Anim‚ Addiction: www.angelfire.com/anime3/ides
Note: There are several types:
1. Messed up scenes from the show (see example 1)
2. Stuff that could happen anytime (see example 3)
3. Mockery of stuff from movies, TV, etc. that is not owned by me,
you or most anyone else...(see example most...)
And now, in no particular order...
1. Reporters: Mr. Darlian! Mr. Darlian!
Darlian: *mutters something under his breath and shoves them down the
escalator* My, that felt good.
CUT!
2. Relena: *step, step, st- thump thump thumpthumpthumpthump
crunch* F*** that hurt!
CUT!
3. Duo: F*** Heero, where the hell do you keep
pulling that gun from?
Heero: My spandex space(tm).
Duo: Spandex space?
Heero: Yes. It is a n-dimensional holding space. You can put anything
in there. Watch. Maestro, a little pulling music please. (circus music)
*begins pulling out multi-coloured scarves out of his shorts until-*
Relena: Heero, who is that and what are you doing?!
*Duo and Heero both look at her*
Duo: Shall we?
Heero: Let's.
*they both shoot her together*
Relena, still standing: That's not funny.
CUT!
4. Dekim: Oh, the pain, the agony, the horror....
Une: Shut up old man. You're dead.
Dekim: But I'm not bleeding...
Une: Stupid American version...
CUT!
5. Heero: Did you see my face?
Relena: What?
*Heero hits destruct button* (confetti)
Heero: Duo!
CUT!
6. Duo, singing: La lalalalalalala! *doing ballet
in air on Peacemillion*
Quatre: Duo, what are you doing?
Duo: Air ballet! And you can't even see the wires!
CUT!
7. *Wing extends wings in all their magnificent
glory...*
(left): Space for rent
(right): Will break for missles
Heero: DUO!
CUT!
8. Duo: Hey, are you even listening to me?
Heero: *ignore*
*Duo pulls gun and shoots laptop*
Heero: *unhappy whimper*
Duo: AS I was saying...
CUT!
9. Duo: I was just being friendly! Traitor!
*piece of paper falls into Duo's hand*
Note: IOU (list of parts), Heero
CUT!
10. *Noin shoots at Wufei from Aries*
*Wufei flies off bike and into a bush*
Wufei: Wahhhhhh! That hurt you bitch!
Noin: Aw, poor guy. I think you need a hug!
CUT!
11. *Wufei spots Duo's riding pants*
Wufei: Whahahahahah! You have onna hips!
Duo: *pulls out sniper rifle*
CUT!
12. Relena: Heeeeeero! I'm right here, come and
get me!
*laser target painted on Relena*
Heero: Now Duo...
Duo: Puhleeease Hee-chan....
CUT!
13. Dorothy: What are you going to do now, Ms.
Relena?
Relena: Well, first I'd like to thank the Academy...
CUT!
14. Relena: Dorothy! Let me out of out of here
right- *pounds on door which falls over, to Dorothy's suprise*
Dorothy: Stupid cardboard door....
CUT!
15. *Heero jumps out of shattered window*
*pause*
*pause*
Heero, down below: Duo, what the hell are you doing?
Duo: I'm eating the sugar glass. It's good. Want some?
CUT!
16. *Wufei extends the dragon arms...which have
little mustaches on them*
Wufei: DUO!!!
CUT!
17. *Catherine smacks Trowa*
Trowa: Bawwwwl! That hurt! Did you have to hit me so hard?
CUT!
18. *Quatre pulls on the cool goggles Rashid
gave him*
*they have screwball eyes on them*
Quatre: DUO!
CUT!
19. Heavyarms is shooting at something....
Trowa: I didn't know that Aries bled in such pretty colors... (paintballs)
DUO!
CUT!
20. Duo: Are you listening to me...
*Heero gets up, tackles Duo off Deathscythe and lands on top of him*
Heero: I want you NOW!
CUT!
21. Relena: Are you still going to kill me?
Heero: No, the script says I can't...
CUT!
22. Relena: Are you still going to kill me?
Heero: I'd love to but...
CUT!
23. Relena: Are you still going to kill me?
Heero: Can I take a rain check?
CUT!
24. One diplomat whispers to another: Did you
have any idea how hentai the songs at the beginning of the shows are?
Other one: No, I don't speak Japanese.
CUT!
25. Duo: Hey Heero, is that a gun in your shorts
or are you just happy to see me?
Heero: DUO!
CUT!
26. Voiceover guy: ...Treize Khushrenada assumes
the position....
*cast falls over laughing* (I & S)
CUT!
27. Treize, singing to himself: I've got a lovely
bunch of coconuts...
CUT!
28. Dr J: Whatever you do, stay away from him.
Relena: I don't have to listen to you, you-you ugly man!
CUT!
29. Noin: How could you order the death of your
own brother?
Relena: He's my brother? Damn he was cute. Oh well...
CUT!
30. Zechs: ....is that my voice? That's my voice.
Oh well...
CUT!
31. Wufei: You beat me Treize. Kill me, now!
Treize: I can't do that.
Wufei: Why not? You killed my father.
Treize: Wufei, I AM you father...
Wufei: Noooooo!
CUT!
32. Heero: Mission accepted.
Computer: This message will self destruct....
Heero: Nooo! Not my laptop!
Computer: *boom*
CUT!
33. Relena: Why don't you come to the dance with
me? *curtsey*
Heero: *ignore, type on laptop*
Relena: *picks up laptop and throws it out a window*
Heero: *whimper*
Relena: You dance NOW!
Heero: Yes'm.
CUT!
34. Heero: Do you ever be quiet?
Duo: Nope!
Heero: How do you breathe?
Duo: Through my eyeballs.
Heero: That will come in handy later...
CUT!
35. Quatre: I'm sorry, goodbye Sandrock. *Reaches
for Self Destruct Button*
Sandrock in german accent: No destructing for you! *yoinks SDB*
Quatre: Huh? The SDB Nazi??
CUT!
36. Abdul: This sucks! I have sand in my shorts!
Rashid: I could really use those goggles right now...
CUT!
37. Relena: *pulls gun on Lady Une and shoots
it*
Gun: *little flag pops out* POW! (on flag)
Une: *laughs her ass off*
CUT!
38. Wufei: *aims dragon arm*
Dragon Arm: *bubble, bubble*
Wufei: Duo!
Bubbles: *Hit MSs and they go boom*
Wufei: Cool!
CUT!
39. Relena: *close up on face*
Camera: *smacks her in the face*
Relena: F*** that hurt!
CUT!
40. Quatre: You know what Trowa, you look a lot
like my father.
Trowa: Really?
Late breaking news report: Quatre is actually Triton Bloom and Trowa
is actually Quatre.
Trowa: //.O! I'm rich!
Quatre: O.O! I'm related to CATHERINE!
Trowa: Sucks to be you!
Catherine: I heard that!
Flying fountain: *hits Trowa/Quatre*
Quatre: Yeah, but you've got 29 sisters. Hah, hah!
Sisters: We heard that!
29 projectiles of varied types: *hits Quatre/Triton*
CUT!
41. Treize: I see your sword is as big as mine....
Wufei: What?! Your needle-like rapier can never compare to my kanata
of doom!
Treize: *cries* I have sword envy!
CUT!
42. Heero: I have to rescue Relena-
Duo: Aw, do you HAVE to? I mean we are ALONE in Zero-G...
Heero: To hell with her! *glomp*
Duo: That's the idea!
CUT!
43. Trowa: But you gave upfirst!
Quatre: So?
Trowa: I have a big gun!
Quatre: You know what they say about guys with big guns...
CUT!
44. Noin: Oh Zechs, is been two years, nine months
and three days...
Zechs: You kept it down to the day? My God woman, you are obsessed!
CUT!
45. Zechs: Noin, are you sure you want to do
this?
Noin: Zechs, don't make me repeat myself, again.
Zechs: But I like hearing it!
Noin: Okay, since you like it so much. I think you are the sexiest
hunk of man I've ever met and were it not for the fact I have to pilot
this goddamn shuttle I'd jump your bones right now.
Zechs: There's always the autopilot...
CUT!
End Part 1
The explainations:
1. From the escalator scene
2. When she is walking down the stairs in that stupid blue dress
3. For all those who wonder about where Heero's gun goes...
4. In Endless Waltz: Special Edition, Dekim gets shot and bleeds. In
the cut version, he doesn't!
5. The beach scene in Episode 1. Thus begins the rash of pranks Duo
causes. A similar style of outtake is used in Toy Story 2. No, I didn't
see that...
6. From the time on Peacemillion before the end. Well it could happen!
7. Another prank ú…ú la TS2. Poor Buzz...
8. Heh heh heh. I abuse Heero's laptop a lot in this series. Gwa ha
ha hah!
9. Wonder what Heero used from Deathscythe???
10. Wufei is cute, but a total pain in the ASS! Eat shrubbery!
11. *blush* My hips would fit perfectly into Duo's riding pants...
12. And I start playing with the most ANNOYING scene from Gundam Wing...
13. I have never actually SEEN this scene....
14. Relena... locked in room.... cheap props!
15. In movies, the stunt people don't crash through real glass, they
use sugar glass. SG is sugar spun fine so you can see through it. My brother
reminded me that Angie from F/X: The Series, actually does snack
on the sugar glass.
16. Another Duo prank... overdone? I don't think so...
17. My FAVORITE scene in the whole series! It's about bloody time SOMEONE
smacked some sense into one of them!
18. Well I think they're cool! Duo prank...
19. Y'ever played Golden Eye? Paintball mode is cool!
20. Heh heh... were you wondering why there were innuendo and yaoi
warnings? I could almost see this happening. It would certainly shut Duo
up...
21-23. We wish, don't we? Certainly Heero does!
24. It's true! I've seen the translation in english of the lyrics.
Wow... O.O
25. *innocent look* What?
26. This one all started on a Snow Day back in January 2001 when Ides
was watching GW at Sooth's house and they were chatting at the same time.
So all Ides heard was 'Treize etc.' She laughed so hard she fell off his
couch! We still find it hilarious.
27. This one is SO your fault! The whole series of comments about the
size of Treize's wad....
28. GOD SHE'S SO STUPID!!! He even tells her and what's the FIRST thing
she does... *inarticulate bitching*
29. Well, Zechs IS cute...
30. Ysme's line from Emperor's New Groove. When she's bouncing around
and screeching as a kitten. Physh likes Zechs' voice.
31. *sigh* Star Wars line. I couldn't help it! Hmmm... he would have
been about twelve....
32. From Mission: Impossible or parodies. More laptop abuse!
33. Heh he he. There goes number three...
34. I may have gotten the eyeballs thing from another writer, but I
don't remember who.
35. From Seinfeld. Another thing I haven't seen personally, but heard
about. We happen to know the 'Pizza Nazi'. He works at a restaurant a minute
or two from our school.
36. I don't know where the hell this came from. It may be the influence
of Double Exposure, a political comedy show that I haven't seen in a while.
37. Cheezy, it's true, but it was from one of the episodes of Drew
Carey I actually saw.
38. Bubble Beam Attack...
39. An outtake from A Bug's Life.
40. My brother, of all people, noted that Quatre's dad looks like Trowa.
He has no idea of the problems it would cause to lemon writers if Quatre
and Trowa were siblings... And I've been told that the 'flying fountain'
thing is psychological not physical. Muh.
41. Space Balls/Poison Elves/my weirdness
42. This SHOULD have happened, but didn't.
43. Me, a hentai? Nevah...
44. This thought came to mind when I first saw this...
45. Heh... in the words of Physh 'Some people need to be straight!'
Huh, that seems to be it for this one. Well, if you want to see more...
Gwynn Whitelock
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