Entry 1
My name is Kaili (my friends call me Tair for short) and
I am fourteen years old.
In these short fourteen years I have seen a lot of bad stuff happen to other people whether it be because of religion, race, or color of their skin. I have to say that I’m selfless person but when I saw how bad people were treated I would think: “I’m glad that is not me”. Then I feel very selfish about myself….And you know what? Today I am that person I was glad I wasn’t. It has been one year since this has started. ‘What has started’ you ask my dear diary? 1 year ago a religious group who call them selves ‘Utopia’ had said they had received a message from God saying we all must practice this new religion called Utopial or disaster will befall upon our world. They also said that anyone who apposed it and refused to join would be tortured or worse. What kind of religious group would go around slaughtering people because they would not join that religion and why would they claim God wanted them to kill the people who apposed them…? Why would he not do it himself? Hmm…? What does my family think about this whole thing? Well, my cool but some times bothersome mother thinks this is all strange. My hysterical, conclusion jumping, some times stern father thinks theses Utopians are a bunch of ex-cons. Well myself…I really don’t know what to believe in anymore some times. As you guessed diary I am not the only one that refused to join. My neighbor and close friend named Ryoko did not join. She has a kind, happy go lucky attitude just like mine. We all live in the underground sewer slums of this city… . Yes, this is where we hide…. There is no sunlight, fresh air, and it smells like fifty landfills or worse but I’m beginning to get used to it now. The only lights we have are the lights lined around the sewers and lamps. Where do the lamps come from? That’s another story I’ll save for later…I am tired now so I must get some sleep. We never know when my family and dear friend will have to run away from the Utopians who might drop into the tunnels ….
Entry 2
I slept well last night thus having a wonderful dream. I had heard bird melodies whistle through my ears. As I lay on the soft olive color grass of a forest I felt a soft breeze. Then I stood up and the affectionate wind blew stronger against my skin gently blowing my long brown hair. I then stood there silently as the suns golden rays warmed my skin. Then the dream began to fade. I was woke up by some one shaking me but not real hard. My wonderful dream had faded completely as I focused my vision on the person who had been in front of me. It had been Ryoko who woke me up. (She shared my room) She helped me up and picked my blankets and helped fold them. She often would rustle the hair on my head and call me kid or shorty and I would tell her I’m not short…just vertically impaired. (Let’s just put it this way. If you saw a dog next to the Empire State Building I would be the dog and Ryoko would be the building) You see diary Ryoko is like a sister to me. She was always there for me no matter what. Continuing on what happened today: Ryoko, after helping me fold the blankets she rustled my hair and called me kid I gave her a punch on the shoulder laughed and she walked away smiling saying breakfast was ready. It amazes me how two people, Ryoko and I, could be so carefree at a time like this. I guess we just have really high spirits. A long while after that I went and sat with my family and Ray who were all listening to a CD player/radio. While they were listening to the CD Ryoko was reading a rather thick novel, father was reading an old fishing magazine, and mother was resting her eyes. I decided I would draw so I did. About thirty minutes later the CD switched so I had gotten up and showed mother my picture I had drawn of a cross with a white rose wrapped around it. She had answered me saying: ‘That is nice. I wish I had a white rose right now. I miss flowers’. I smiled then went to my room. (blankets hanging from the ceiling separated all the rooms) After that I had gone to my box of items and picked up a small mirror I had and looked in it. I didn’t realize it till then how pale I was….I looked like a vampire from being down here so long. Like I said before this place has little light and an abundant source of darkness. I then sat it on the end of my cot and got my ‘diary’ and sat on my cot. As I type this I look up once again to see my white reflection. My father has just walked in and asked me to help him do something. I will return in a while.
Entry 3
I’m not sure what time it is but I’m sure it is early morning. Ryoko is sleeping peacefully. I hear her slow breath intakes and wonder what she is dreaming about….. I wish I could sleep like I did the other night and dream about birds, the ocean, forests and other things with nature. As you can tell diary I am having a hard time sleeping. I might be able to sleep if I had some water ..well maybe…But we will not have any water until tomorrow when a friend of ours who acts as if he is part of the Utopians followers brings us supplies. Let’s just say he is like an under cover cop. His name is Quatre (Quatre is his middle name but he does not like his first name so he never told me). I’ll tell you more about him later diary. I hear thunder now above me so I’m going to try and sleep. Maybe the thunder will help me…
Entry 4
Its been raining for a couple of days now and the thunder has been helping me sleep. Meanwhile Ryoko and I have been playing anime charades I feel hungry right now. Quatre never came and I’m beginning to worry about him. I hope he is ok. Hmmm…nothing exciting has been going on lately. I bet your just waiting to know if there is anything going on between him and I. Well I don’t know. I mean I care about him dearly but I don’t think we would ever..how should I put this..: ‘fit together’. I’ve known him about a year or two now. I used to go to school with him before I moved. I believe he is two years older than me. I met him in seventh grade (he was in eighth). His natural hair color was brown but now he bleached it and he’s about my height or a little taller. We did become good friends at the time. This was the first guy that I actually had a lot in common with. We both really liked anime and other stuff too. I liked Quatre for who he was and not how he looked. Oh well. Changing the subject completely this time: Its so boring rite now and I can’t think. I guess I’ll tell you diary about what I discussed in a previous entry. In my first entry I mentioned how the sewers were sealed off. Well there are two entrances and exits out of the sewer from here. The Utopians keep one heavily guarded and the other they have no Idea of it. That’s how Quatre gets down here to deliver us our supplies…. I’m beginning to worry. Maybe Quatre was caught or worse….I now just asked Ryoko her opinion. She says that it is possible he got caught but she doubts it. She then adds the storm outside might be really bad and that he is stuck in it.
Entry 5
Today I tried teaching my mother how to use a laptop. Bad Idea. She thought she didn’t need my help for it and kept being stubborn about it. I just wanted to yell out saying: ‘Do you want me to help you or not? You asked me to help you so would you please just listen to me!?’ The worse part of it was that she almost got into you diary. The only person who actually knows about you is Ryoko. Fortunately Ryoko was sitting by the laptops power cord so I gave her a look and she slowly pulled the cord out of the wall. I told mom that it must have crashed and that I would fix it. I shut the laptop with anger and picked it up. Father came around the corner telling me not to give that attitude towards my mother because it was not her fault it broke. Even though it was not her fault I wanted to tell him to tell her to listen to me when I’m trying to teach her something. Especially when I know more about computers then she does. I then said ‘Yes sir’ and walked off. When I got here in my room I sat down the lap and pulled a curtain shut where a door should be. I plugged in the laptop and turned it on. As I let it load and check for errors I thought how much it sucked not having the Internet. None of my other friends or me had anyway to know if each other were ok. Sure it would be easy to use e-mail but people could track the lines and find us. I knew Ryoko would walk in and she did. She had asked me early why I was acting out of character. I told her I did not know why. Knowing Ryoko she knew why I was acting like this. She does not know Quatre very well but she knows I’m worried about him. Ryoko is always so nice to me. She never argues with me if I say something that’s not true on how I feel. She lets me tell her when I’m ready. Right now I’m listening to my CD on a program as I write to you diary. I think I’ll ask Ryoko to help me on my drawing skills. She looks like she is sleeping on her cot. Maybe I should just leave her alone. What’s this? She just asked me what I needed. How did she know? I ask her how she knew. She said: ‘Intuition’. I now smile. Till next time diary.
Entry 6
I had been asleep earlier until I heard a voice coming from outside my room. I had gotten up and walked towards the voices. I wondered who would be up at this hour. I walked on. You know who was out there diary. Yup, it was Quatre. I was shocked when I saw him. He had his soak and wet coat on the floor and a blanket wrapped around him. Ryoko had been there too. I ran up to them and asked Quatre what happened. He told me he was caught up in the storm and had a hard time getting to us. When I looked at Ryoko she gave me a ‘told you so’ look. She then said thank god he was ok. When Quatre was not looking I smiled and said I was going to lie back down. Now Ray still has not come back yet. I wonder what they are talking about. As I listen carefully I can hear fragments of their sentences: Ryoko: “….she….worried,”. Quatre: “..oh…she….really?”. Ryoko: “She….really…fond…you,” Now I know Ray knew why I was worried. I feel kind of embarrassed she said that to him. The last thing I heard was: Ryoko: “..ay…long as you like,”. Did she say ‘stay as long as you like’? I guess I’ll know in the morning.
Entry 7
As I woke up this morning I sat up in bed wondering if I had dreamt what happened last night. There was only one way to find out. I got up and put on my long sleeved sweater. I then walked out of my room to the main room where we all ate, sat, and talked together. Sure enough there was Quatre sitting on the floor at our small table eating a Pop Tart. Then he said it: “ Ohaio wasabi,” (Quatre had always called me this for no apparent reason.)
Entry 8
Wow it has been a while since I wrote to you diary. It’s been about three months the hurricane is gone and New Years Eve is tomorrow. If your wondering about Christmas everyone got a present from Quatre and I drew everyone a picture. Gee what should I talk about now? I’m in such a good mood. Maybe I should talk about what everyone got for Christmas. Well I got-…What was that!? I hear footsteps! Oh no! It’s them! The Utopian soldiers! I must go and I’m ta-
Entry 9
I’m making a short entry to let you know I am all right. We all have to be as quiet as possible so I’ll make this quick. Yes, the Utopians are here. We are hiding behind where we live and have nowhere else to go and if we are caught we are all in trouble. What are we going to do. We will surely be caught! My typing is not helping the silence so I must go now….
Entry 10
Luckily diary we didn’t get caught thanks to Quatre. I’m angry with him right now because of how he saved us. Here is what happened. We were all scared out of our wits thinking we were going to get caught when Quatre got up and told us not to worry and that we were not in any danger but he still told us to stay low for a while. Well he walked out to the soldiers who were looking around in our stuff. They pointed their swords at him and said: ‘Hold it right there!’ (yes, they are using swords. I was surprised too. I was expecting guns. Something is different about these soldiers.) Quatre held his hands in the air turned around and just spoke: ‘Hey, it’s-’They swung their swords at him. I could not watch. The soldiers then pinned him down and took out a flashlight and shined it in David’s face ‘Hey, it is me. Quatre’ They replied by calling him ‘Quatre-sir! Sorry sir! Our apologies!’ This told me he had to be some kind high rank in their little squad. One of the tall soldier asked what Quatre was doing down here. Quatre replied by saying he was seeing if there was anything useful for them to use or sell in this old abandoned shelter. The shorter soldier asked if Quatre needed help. David said no and with a solute the soldiers went away. When we knew they were gone we came out of hiding. I walked up to Quatre and slapped him. Yah, I slapped him. I told him he was a senseless idiot because he almost got himself chopped up like shish kabob. Then I walked away. Should I be angry because he did that? I mean he did help us out of that tight spot back there…What do you think diary? Maybe I should apologize to him. Today is New Years Eve after all. Times to make a resolution….I don’t know what to declare though. I’m freezing sitting here in the main room. Ryoko who notices puts a blanket on me. If you are wondering where in the world is Quatre he has been popping up now and then. Speak of the devil! Here he is now! What!? He said that there is an assassination planned on the head honcho of the Utopians. He also says that those guys that came yesterday were on our side also. They are the ones carrying out the assassination on the leader. Speaking of which, who is the leader? I never really knew. No one does actually. It’s now five minutes till the New Year. Quatre has just walked off back into the sewer. Ryoko gives me a look just now. I should apologize to him. If I don’t do it before the end of this year I’m going to be angry with myself. It is four minutes till New Years now. I must get to Quatre before it is too late! Bai-Bai!
Entry 11
You probably can’t wait till I tell you about New Years Eve four minutes till the New Year. I did make it to Quatre. It was one minute till midnight when I found him about to exit the sewer. I yelled for him saying: ‘I’m sorry for hitting you and for ignoring you!’ He then ran my way saying there was nothing to be sorry about and that it was ok. He said he wasn’t mad at me and knew that I was upset and to forget about it. We heard fire works from above. Yes! I had made it before New Years. He then gave me hug and said Happy New Year. It was my best New Year ever. I will never forget it. You are also wondering when that assassination thing is going to happen right? It’ supposed to be a couple days after my birthday and my birthday is in seven days. Happy birthday to me soon! Just to let you know it is the first of the New Year and I’m tired from staying up so late so I’m going to take a nap. Good night.
Entry 12
Yesterday was my birthday. I turned fifteen. Wow, time sure has gone by fast. I didn’t expect to get any presents from everyone because of our situation but that is ok with me. Ryoko gave me a picture she drew. Mother and father just said Happy Birthday. That was pretty much it until Quatre came... and disaster... We all spent most of the day together till I went into my room to get something to show Quatre but he followed me in. I looked at him and he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I let this sit on me till I said: ‘I want to be outside. To see the moon,,stars, and animals. To feel the wind on my face’ He gave me a look that said ‘I knew you were going to say that’. I then added that it was silly for me to say that because it could never happen unless the Utopian leaders were gone. Quatre smiled and said I was not being silly and that he would take me above the surface. I told him I would think about it and smiled. That night I went to bed. About three or five hours later Quatre awakened me. He told me to throw on my sweater and that we were going outside. I was apprehensive at first and then I thought: ‘What’s the worst that could happen’. Then I said ok and followed him till we got to the sewer exit. He then told me I was going to like what I saw when we got out of the sewer Quatre was the first to climb out. Then me. Thoughts shot through my mind because of my excitement of leaving the sewers for a while. When I popped my head out of the man whole I saw nothing but green forest. My eyes began to squint at the moonlight. When I climbed out all the way Quatre and I walked quite a ways on a little hike to a hill. When we got there I almost died at the site. It was a hill sitting over a pond. It was beautiful with the moons reflection. Both of us then sat there for a while till he said he just noticed how white my skin was and how the moonlight appeared to make me glow. We sat there for what? Two to three hours or more. I had fallen asleep while being out there till Quatre woke me up. We then made our way back home when. When I walked in something was not right. I yelled for Ryoko and my parents. There was no answer. After about a minute or so we were jumped. I fell back and hit my head on the stone floor knocking me unconscious. When I had awoken I saw Ryoko standing over me. I sat up slowly holding my head. I asked what happened and she said she jumped us thinking we were soldiers. I asked where mom and dad were. She was silent till I let it sit that she thought we were Utopians. Mother and father are gone. I’ll probably never see them again. I’ve been sulking in my room all day now. I won’t even let Ryoko in…Mother..Father…….
Entry 13
I decided to come out of my room today and at least sit around Quatre and Ryoko. It is so quiet here now. It seemed like I had neglected my parents for the past year or so. Now I feel like dirt for not spending time with them like I should have. Being as bored as I am now I ask Ryoko what she is doing. She tells me she is just thinking. I look towards Quatre and ask the same thing. He then says that the assassination is tonight. Ray and I stare at him. I ask if he is going and he says yes. I try not to look upset that he is going. I then say: ‘Oh’. I now worry if he will be ok and if he will make it back to us…..
Entry 14
Quatre has just left for the big mission. I sit here on my cot as Ryoko naps with her headphones on. I am so worried about Quatre. What if he doesn’t come back? It will be just Ryoko and I all alone. We could be stuck down here forever. I here thunder from above but now I don’t think it is ‘thunder’…The battle has started. Maybe if I sleep when I awake in the morning this will all be over and Quatre will be here.
Entry 15
I am now in a refuge place hiding with Ryoko. What has happened you ask? In the middle of the night last night Utopian soldiers invaded the sewers and we had to run and we did. We ended up here with others who were also in the sewer. It is morning and sunny. The sun burns my eyes because I am not used to it. Unfortunately the battle is not over yet. Quatre where are you? Are you ok? Are you even alive?
Entry 16
It has been three days now. Still, there is no sign of the battle stopping. This is tiring just waiting for it to end. There is not much to do around here. I did see some friends of mine. Their names are: Lida,Aya , Shuichi, Nuriko and Lain. We said our hellos and talked for hours. It seemed kind of funny though. We all lived in what we called the sewer slums forever and did not even now we had lived within range of each other. As expected we all looked different. Every one was as pale as I. We made jokes about being vampires by going around telling children we were going to suck their blood as a joke but The chief lady who ran this place didn’t like it so we were forced to stop. Sure felt nice being around my friends again. Our appearances might have changed but our weird personalities did not. It is now late and my friends have left to their rooms. I guess I will sleep now.
Entry 17
Good news! The battle is done! Quatre won! He is ok too! A year has gone by since I have wrote to you Diary but have been so busy after the battle that I just have not been able to write to you. I had prayed to my parents telling them that everyone is ok. Now Ryoko, Quatre and I live together in an apartment in the city. It was a very happy day when I heard Quatre was ok. In fact He came in person to tell me it was all over. Are my parents ok you ask diary? I never found them so I expect they had ‘moved on’. I am now at the hill where Quatre took me for my birthday. Here I have made a memorial to my parents. I still feel bad for not spending a lot of time with them but I visit their memorials whenever I feel I need to. As I sit here I smell the musk of the incense I burn for them.I look at the stone cross and trace my finger of the names that were carved in on it. There are trees behind me birds chirping and soft olive green grass around me. I look at my parent’s memorial. The wind begins to blow through my hair. The only noise is the wind blowing through the trees. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. I looked behind me. It was Quatre. I smile and look back at the cross where I had laid a white rose at its base. I then spoke: ‘You have your white rose now. There is no need to miss the flowers you missed so dearly anymore.’
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