Come Back

By Kaytee Kudo

Chapter 2---The Return of the Memory

Many weeks passed. And now, a month has come. Kaika had been very busy preparing for the wedding that he didn't notice that it would be next week. He had tried to prevent the flashes to conquer him but to no avail. Now, he had seen many of his past memories unfolding, but he still couldn't figure out who he is. They have never told him. All he knew is that the boy was always called Shunkaku, and they were always together in Kotou, but were separated. The other things he had dreamt made no sense to him, and he thought that maybe, the separation made him forget about everything. Maybe it was really painful enough to forget.

He was preparing everything on the church's office. There was a special room there, built especially for those about to be married. There, you can put everything needed for the wedding, clothes, decorations and all. Kaika looked at the room. Everything looked great, until a knock at the door caught his attention. It was the girl-attendant at the church.

"Kaika-san. Your brother is outside."

"Let him in. I've been waiting for him."

He had really been waiting for Kaihan. It has been a month since he had actually talked to his brother. He had always said that he should come here if he was ready to accept Hime to the family. Perhaps, this was the time. He heard him go inside, and closed the door. At once, Kaika started talking. But he was looking at the window, as if waiting to see Hime at the road. Yes, Hime was another person he had been longing to see, for Hime left without a word a month ago. He had many things to tell her too.

"I've been expecting you," Kaika started. "So, have you tried the suit I gave you?"

He could feel his brother's uneasiness, and decided to face him and hug him.

"I'm so glad you've finally accepted Hime-chan to our family. I'm so proud of you little---" Kaika stopped talking as he saw the face of his 'expected' brother. He was shocked to see that it was not Kaihan who had came to see him, but he was more surprised to see his own face---no, he didn't thought that it was possible but then, the boy looked like him. It was like they were really brothers. Without controlling his feelings, Kaika blurted out, "Why, you're not my brother. What're you doing here?"

The words had obviously affected the stranger very much. He froze to the spot and looked grave. Then, Kaika's head had hurt again. He tried to ask for help but the boy had been seep in his thoughts, too shocked to move. And so, he fell into the hard ground trapped again in his lost memory.

"Listen Koutoku, you have to be strong now. You need to take care of your brother for us."

"But dad! I can't leave you. I can't...." tears had started to swell up in his eyes.

"Take that flute with you and save your brother. We've left him out on the barn so you have to hurry up. It's okay, go on."

"Dad...."

"You're a strong boy, Koutoku. You're a Seiryuu Seishi. You have to protect this world. Protect your brother. Go on, hurry!"

He felt that he was rushing to his feet on the hot ground. It seemed that the whole house was on fire. Many people were dead and soldiers were looting the village. He clutched his flute tightly and found his way to---the boy.

"ANIKI!!!"

"SHUNKAKU!!!"

He rushed to the boy and raised both his hands protectively. Several men had been trying to beat him up. They had been talking about selling them. Unconsciously, he raised his flute and started playing it. He didn't looked to see the men clutching their heads in pain, screaming, and then dying. He was deep in his thoughts, tears freely flowing in his eyes.

"I will protect my brother with all my life. I will always protect him, until we find peace again."

The memory ended, sending him back to reality as he could hear his brother's voice again, but he could hear him shouting roughly.

"Kaihan!" He automatically shouted, not minding the tears still in his eyes. "What have I told you about speaking to your elders?"

He couldn't believe it. He was back to the real world. He thought that it would never end but it did. He felt extreme sadness in that dream, as if he could never be happy again. He could hear his brother's voice again, apologizing. The stranger spoke. "Are you okay?" The man asked him a question.

"Yes, I'm okay." He was lying. "I'm sorry about that. My brother, Kaihan was just worried about me. What can I do for you?"

"A-ami---boshi...." Kaika was shocked about what he had heard. Amiboshi? He had only heard Koutoku, Shunkaku and even Nakago, but not Amiboshi. He was caught in a bigger surprise when the boy hugged him, and cried on his shoulder.

"It's really you. I've been waiting for a long time to see you...."

But because Kaika was really shocked, all he could say was, "I'm sorry. Who are you?"

"It's me, Suboshi."

"Su---boshi?" It doesn't ring a bell.

"Yes, don't you remember?"

Kaika tried to put all the words he had heard together.

"I'm Ami---boshi? Your aniki?" The boy nodded.

All of these sounded strange, thought Kaika, and convinced himself that the boy was wrong. He was not the boy in his dreams.

"I'm sorry. I think that you've got the wrong person. You see, I'm Kaika, and my only brother is that boy, Kaihan." He pointed to his brother who was watching him intently.

He felt sorry for the boy to go all sad like that, like his whole world has fallen apart. It must be a very important person in his life to look very down.

"I'm sorry to see you leave on a fruitless search. I know you'll find him really soon." Kaika said this to try to comfort the poor guy.

But then, there was something in his eyes, Kaika thought. "And he looked a lot like me, perhaps, there really is something...." When the boy was about to leave, a strange feeling had struck Kaika. It was a very strange feeling indeed, as if he could die any moment if the boy would leave even a second, right before his eyes. "There's got to be something with that boy," he thought. "I've got to do something".

"You can stay at our house for a few days if you'd like. You can rest there if you want, I know you've been to a long journey."

As the young man agreed, Kaika felt a strange relief in himself. It felt awkward. Even as they walk on their way to the house, he can't help but steal a glance on the strange boy. He couldn't explain his feelings and he didn't like it. He even felt shame rush in him as he welcomed the boy to their house. As soon as they entered the house, he rushed to the kitchen with some excuse.

He tried to prepare dinner, but he couldn't. He was filled with emotions. Much more, he couldn't even explain it, even to himself. Soon, flashes had conquered his mind once again, as he glanced at the dark woods through the kitchen window.

He was alone, in the shadows of the deep, dark woods, but he didn't feel lonely. He was playing his flute vigorously, and he was wearing ragged clothes. Pretty soon, a woman went outside to search for the mysterious tune. Then, bats came attacking the young woman. Instantly, he changed the tune of the flute to kill the bats, and rescue the girl. It was like he had already known what would happen. Surprisingly, he came forward and pretended that he was wounded. As the woman rushed to see if he's okay, he told a lie, that his village was attacked---and even his name. The girl saw a mark near his stomach and looked both surprised and happy. Soon, many people rushed to help him.

Quite suddenly, the scene had changed again. He was playing the flute once more, but more fiercely and he could feel strong spirits surrounding him. Everyone in the room except for him were covering their ears, screaming in pain, yet he doesn't know why they act like that to such a beautiful melody he had played. A smile escaped from his lips as he played harder, and faster. Until out of nowhere, a stranger, distant tune echoed through his melodies. A fresh type of fear had suddenly filled him, and made him loose his concentration. He couldn't bear to see the scene that welcomed him as soon as he stopped playing. Everyone were looking at him---with anger, or maybe fear. He had seen them look at the sign of 'ko' glowing brightly blue on his right shoulder, and he was scared at their reaction. With great haste, he ran as fast as he could, towards the door, away from that place, anywhere, just to escape the great fear that he was feeling. Angry men were following him, just as he had thought. He had to get out of that place. Then, he was trapped. A fierce-moving river had made him stop on his tracks, but only for a moment. He knew that he had to go away from that place, even if it means death. Without minding the people who had warned him about the strong currents, he jumped and tried to make it on the other side, but he couldn't. And now, as he was about to fall, the only thing he could think of is his brother. He was about to hit the rough water when a hand had grabbed his flute, and tried to save him. It was the face of the girl he had saved not so long ago. She was telling him to hold on, that he really was a good man. But he felt that everything was too late. He was wrong in believing that he could end the war by tricking them. He was wrong. He felt that it would be better to end it, and let go of his most prized possession. As he heard the girl's scream, he could see himself cry and say,

"I'm sorry, brother, but I broke my promise."

Kaika was on his knees when he realized that he was back in his own kitchen. His clothes were drenched from his tears, and even now, he was still crying. He realized that he was clutching himself. What he had felt was very painful. After getting a hold of himself, he decided to check back on the two. They may be worried if he won't show up for a long time. He found them talking very intently at each other, and smiled.

"It seems that you're getting along pretty well. I'm happy for you both."

It took their attention and looked at him with awe, like he was their hero.

"The two of you have a lot of things in common."

A great laughter followed his statement, which was interrupted by a loud knock at the door. Kaihan rushed to see who it is, and as soon as he opened the door, Kaika's heart pounded hhard to see who the visitor was.

"Hime-chan!" Joy filled his heart as he saw the woman of his dreams. He had been longing to see her for a month, for he had many things to tell her. Filled with anxiety, he clumsily offered her a seat and gave her a drink.

"How are you?" was the first thought that came up on Kaika's mind.

"It's nothing Kaika-chan. I just want to talk to you, that's all." That was the voice had needed to calm down. For Kaika, it was the sweetest voice he had ever heard, never failing to soothe him. As he saw the two boys go outside, he tried to tell Hime everything, but he didn't know where to start. Thankfully, Hime had noticed this and decided to talk first.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you without telling, Kaika-chan. It's just that my mom came and said I had to go with her. I hope that nothing bad had happened. My father said that you're visiting the house everyday, looking for me."

It was true. He had been longing to tell her everything. In fact, before he came to the church office this day, he went to check if Hime was there. From the looks of it, it seems that Hime had just came back, and went straight to him.

"Oh, I'm sorry for letting you worry like that" Kaika said, blushing.

"So, are you okay? How's the visit with the doctor?"

"I'm fine, really. No need to worry about me, hahaha"

Hime looked at him straight in the eye. She knew that he was lying at her. Kaika saw this and knew tat it's no use lying to Hime.

"I'm sorry Hime"

"Please, tell me what's wrong" Hime held his hand tightly. Kaika's face looked grave.

"Oh, Hime. I've been longing to tell you this. My condition is getting worse. The doctor said it's amnesia, just like you said. And he said that at this rate, my memory will come back soon."

"But isn't that great news? You've been wanting to know who you really are, right?"

Kaika looked at Hime as tears started to flow in his eyes.

"I'm scared, Hime. I'm afraid of knowing my past."

"Why?"

"The doctor said that a person who suffers from amnesia usually have a painful experience that they want to forget, and I think he's right."

"You see, every time I see another bit of my memory, I feel like crying. Everything is so dark and I feel very sad. It's a painful experience to see those dreams, and I'm scared that if I remember these memories, all it will bring me is pain."

Hime couldn't stand seeing Kaika cry like that. She came closer to him and hugged him, patting him on the back. "It's okay. Go on."

Kaika was half-crying as he tried to tell everything---about the boy, his promise to his dad, the girl he had hurt, the people who were angry at him and tried to catch him, but most of all, the feeling, the feeling that he felt as he saw all of those things flashed right through his very eyes.

"I broke my promise to the boy, Hime....A-and then I tried to kill many people, they tried to kill me. There were many dead people, and fire. War is always present in my dreams. I have never felt so alone, so sad and helpless. I don't want to remember it, Hime. I just don't want to...."

"It's all right, Kaika-chan. That is a normal feeling." Hime interrupted.

"But you should not avoid the past. You must accept it. That's the only way to make you a better person." Hime hugged him more tightly. "Even nightmares have good sides." She looked at his tear-filled eyes. "And if you're afraid, I'll always be here for you. I promise." And then, she kissed Kaika deeply. Kaika was shocked at first , but soon felt warm and secure and liked it. Another memory came back to him, but this time, a feeling. It was the feeling he had when his brother had kissed him back then, and it was like this.

"I love you, Kaika. My love will never change for you, even if your name would change a thousand times." Once again, tears flowed in his eyes like a flood. He hugged her tight and cried on her shoulder.

"I love you too, Hime. Thank you for letting me know that."

It finally happened. His memory had come back completely---and he was not afraid of it. As he saw two boys racing toward them, he also ran to meet them. They stopped in the middle of the road. Kaika, no, Amiboshi didn't realize that he was crying again. Suboshi smiled.

"There's nothing to say sorry about, I understand, aniki."

"I'm sorry that I broke my promise to you."

"Hey, you didn't break that promise. You came back, right? It's all that matters to me." Amiboshi stopped crying and hugged him again.

"Suboshi! Thank you for bringing me my memory back."

"No, aniki, you were the one who did it."

"I love you, dear brother."

"I love you too, aniki." He proceeded to hug Kaihan too. "I love you too, little Kaihan." Kaihan smiled.

"I'm not afraid of my past anymore. I figured that it's not as dark as I thought." He looked at the three people smiling back at him.

"Thank you, everyone. I'll never forget this memory." They all hugged Amiboshi and smiled.

"Let's go home, " Amiboshi suggested.

"Yes, let's go. I'll make dinner." Hime said as she held Amiboshi's hand.

"Yay!" both Suboshi and Kaihan shouted.

"Hey, nii-chan! We're not through with our race yet." Kaihan started running.

"Oh yeah? I'll catch you again!" Suboshi ran too.

Two boys ran fast as the two lovers share the sunset walking hand-in-hand together.

~END~

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