A Forsaken World
I stood silently watching everything I loved die. To my right, what was left of my murdered family held at sword point; to my left, a nuclear missile that could blow up a big portion of the world; behind me its detonation button. In front of me, stands the deathly seductive demon known as Keimonan. At his feet lay my one true love, Douft, torn and bleeding on the ground. I would give my own pathetic life if only for Douft to breathe his next breathe….
But… was he worth the world? Was the world to be forsaken so that I might save him? Or would I forsake him for the world…
“Those are your three choices! Choose on now!” Keimonan demanded harshly, unaware of how close insanity to my mind. To put it straightly, I feel like shit right now. This whole day I’ve been beaten, cut, laughed at, pitied, scorned, disrespected in two different ways, and lied to. Of course, its not every day that a genuine demon decides to take you as his mate either. And then when you refuse… he kills everything you love. So everything before listed goes into the emotional category at well as the physical.
After a few minutes of silence, Keimonan started to laugh at me. LAUGH! Because he felt my fear. And my reaction? To laugh right back at him, hysterically of course.
His smile faded away almost immediately,
“Why do you laugh? Why do you find it funny?” This only makes me laugh more. I stop laughing quite suddenly after I feel my entire humor drained.
“It’s not funny… not at all.” I met Douft’s eyes emotionlessly, but I could see he understood. Oh, my love…I want to help you! His thoughts tenderly caressed my torn mind. I recoiled from his instinctively. I felt his pain.
His was not the only one that pressed me. I felt them all, pitying me. ‘She’s insane! My baby sister’s…’ ‘the fools hysterical!’ ‘I should… shoot her brother to bring her back…’
My mirth was choked from me as I jerked my head to the man holding the gun to Salven’s head. I glared at him and his hand ceased its trembling. A sharp pain at my side turned my angry glare, into something along the lines of I-would-hurt-you-if-I-weren’t-in-pain-right-now grimace.
“You make me choose something in which I have no right to decide on.” At a curious glint in his eyes, I continued to explain, “You’re making me decide whom lives and who shall perish. Therefore I will add another number. Number four. Every human on this planet will live.” Nothingness swallowed my voice from echoing, and so we stood staring at each other.
Dear Goddess, I just don’t care anymore… Suicide is for cowards, but this be not suicide. This is for everyone and everything on this planet. The only one hurt by my actions will be these demons and Douft. They do not know I cannot die… I might die from this planet, but not die forever. To say I do this for only love would be a lie. I do this cause not only because I hate being helpless and wish to wipe that arrogant grin from his ugly face, but also because my life is a numbed wound for which will never heal. How anyone would put me into such a position, I can not fathom. My emotions have vanished from sheer exertion. There for I cannot feel my pain or grief. I am here… in the now… just living…breathing… doing nothing more or less… so my black goddess, I wish to use what I am, my whole self gone…I bid you fare well…
With my last thoughts fading, I let go of everything. Everything I ever held back. My lies, my sin, my blackness, my fear, my muscles, my mind, everything… I let it go. I burned my guilt, forgave my enemies, freed my friends, sighed away my duty, and stood apart from myself. One minute free in spirit, the next I have been jerked into my body. All my pain, all my rage, all my sadness, everything, burning and sizzling within myself.
“Leave me in pieces! Consume me in flames! Drown me with water! Slay me by moonlight! For I shall die of no will!” I closed my eyes and let everything around me die.
Everything reminds me of Douft this being no exception. I have always had rare and powerful skills. My most dangerous one, being my own life sacrifice. Focusing all my energy on what I want, and destroying everything that wills against me. He had warned me never to use this… because he said I did not understand it. What he meant was that he did not understand it therefore he could not deal with it. Over and over around in my head,
“Never taint your power! Never kill for kicks. Never, EVER, let your emotions devour your soul! If you do, you die!”
I laughed dryly, opening my eyes only to stare into Douft’s soft emerald green ones. He knows what I’m doing… He knows I’m insane. Insanity is not what anyone thinks it is. All my senses have sharpened three fold. My soul is evil now… my emotions are gone… I am dead.
My body began to glow a soft aqua color. Energy lifted my feet off the ground. I saw panic in Doufts eyes, and sure enough he screamed at me.
“No! For God’s sake, Fayeth, just destroy the bomb! Save the world! Live! For my sake if not for you own! Don’t…” He collapsed tot he ground sobbing, muttering pathetically, as if it would save my life. But he does not understand that I am already dead. The man above him watched him curiously. Understanding seemed to strike him for he softened his eyes ever so faintly and he murmured gently,
“I love her too…” Douft lashed out with his mind, cutting sharply into Keimonan’s own. You can’t love her! You’re a monster! Douft wasn’t strong enough to focus his thought into his enemy’s head so everyone could hear him. They glared at each other. The man I’m in love with, and my best friend… both dangerous… both immortal… A tear slipped down my cheek only to evaporate from my boiling energy. Sadness drenched me. After I was soaked with it, it froze to become my pain. My heart shrieked with the strain of my feelings, but I had to ignore it or I might not succeed in my hero worthy intentions. And so my pain melted into angry and burned and curled around me. I screamed with utter depression.
“I don’t care! Kill me! Take me! Use my life energy! Kill me! I deserve life no more!” My voice faltered with a shudder and total blackness surrounded me. My eyes shimmered blood red as the blackness pierced my soul. I opened myself to it.
I gathered all everything in myself. My feelings, my power, my body, my will, my soul, the blackness, everything, into my heart. Keimonan felt my energy erupt from myself and gasped.
“How can you control it?” My eyes flickered opened as my power evened at its peak. I coldly stared down at him from my hovering place a few inches from the ground.
“How can I? For all spells you need something. White magic, pureness of the soul. Black magic, a tainted a horrible soul. For Red magic, a mixture of both. Kind innocence is needed for blue magic. But for death magic, the kind I use now, the strongest by far of all of the above listed, you need… nothingness. People who are depressed have this unconsciously. They cast it on themselves however. Death magic is rare for that reason… when you have it… you are always tempted to use it… and then you are dead.” The demon stared at me, turning pale. Douft shuddered with more sobs.
“Douft… you will live, and I shall not. Stop crying! I don’t matter anymore, you still have you girlfriend!”
“Fayeth! I want you not her! I want you so horribly it hurts! Please don’t kill yourself! You’re to innocent and perfect!” He shuttered as tears ripped out of him. I’m not perfect, love.
“Fare you well, my good hearted souls… somehow, I know not how, I love every creature at this moment. I find this rather interesting… heh…” With that said, I grinned allowing amusement to glimmer from my eyes.
I let my energy go.
The world became completely filled with light, scourging the world not only of the friend that betrayed me, that threatened my soul mate and his minion whom had my brother at sword point, but also every other demon or evil heart that hurt throughout the entire planet. The power ripped and shredded my body and soul; I fell to the ground lifeless.
Silence struck through the noise.
But…
Somehow I could still feel…
…Still react to the outside world…
…Warm lips touching mine…
…Tears falling onto my naked flesh…
I moaned weakly with need. That kiss felt so… perfect… I wrapped my arms around Douft instinctively and deepened this blissfulness. I ignored all my pain… It was only physical… this was healing me… from the inside…I felt his heart skip a beat, felt his breath sharpen. Reluctantly he pulled back. I stared at him.
“I lived…”
